Reddit reviews Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play and the Erotic Edge

Gooood, gooood, like the kink flow through you.

P.S.

For those questioning, interested in dabbling, or just wanna read into what the other side likes, here's some book recs:

The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play and the Erotic Edge

Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism

The Loving Dominant

SM 101: A Realistic Introduction

Different Loving: A Complete Exploration of the World of Sexual Dominance and Submission

The Marketplace Series by Laura Antoniou. They are bit hard core in that they are very serious - people are choosing to be sold into slavery. But there are a lot of REALLY sexy scenes and safety is always a priority. (And consensual non-consent.)

Otherwise, I tend to lean towards a lot of short story anthologies. Not every story will be a winner, but they offer a lot of variety.

• Best Bondage Erotica 2014 - any of these annual compilations would be good
  
• Serving Him: Sexy Stories of Submission
  
• Bound by Lust:Romantic Stories of Submission and Sensuality
  
• The Ultimate Guide to Kink:BDSM, Role Play, and the Erotic Edge - A bit more informative than sexy, but useful
  
  Those are just a few. I really like the authors Rachel Kramer Bussel, Cecelia Tan, and Alison Tyler so I will often just search for anthologies with which they've been involved. Also, I don't know where you're located but my local library actually offers a lot of these as digital loans. It's a great way to check out new books discreetly and without blowing your budget!
  
  Happy reading!!

The Mistress Manual, Miss Abernathy's Concise Slave Training Manual and [The Art Of Sensual Female Dominance] (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0806520892) are all books about Female Dominance in some fashion or another. They are written by women, are quite readable and have overall good stuff going on for all of them. I can't recommend one specifically as an end all be all but I know each of them has good things to offer.

The Ultimate Guide to Kink is also a really great resource but it talks about a huge range of stuff and all of the essays are written by different people. It's not specifically about F/m but a nice general overview of all sorts of kinky activities.

Also, reading them to her in bed is adorable.

I think there is a lot here and it would take a literal book to unpack it all.

Try this book. It helped me a lot.

The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play and the Erotic Edge https://www.amazon.com/dp/157344779X/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_bzLTCbAMV27R9

Recommended reading...

The Ultimate Guide to Kink by Tristan Taormino (excellent all round guide with different chapters being written by different 'experts' in their field)

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Ultimate-Guide-Kink-Tristan-Taormino/dp/157344779X

Also The Loving Dominant

http://www.amazon.co.uk/LOVING-DOMINANT-John-Warren-Libby/dp/1890159727/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1381581398&sr=1-1&keywords=the+loving+dominant

Apart from that, try joining Fetlife.com It is crammed full of advice, information and also will help you find your local community

Mollyxxx

You have your work cut out for you. Here is my advice:

• Sit your husband down and have another talk (I know this hasn't gotten you what you wanted in the past, but I have some tips here) Sit him down and explain that 1. This NEEDS to change for you. and that 2. This NEEDS to change NOW. Tell him how much you love him, how committed you are to him, how you desperately want this to work out, but that he NEEDS to get on board with this for your mental, emotional and spiritual health.
  
  Hopefully he will be on board, it actually sounds like he was open to the idea, but he probably has no clue where to start or what to do and is afraid to ask. That's where step 2 comes in.
  
  
• Educate him about what you need you and what you want, be specific! (you may have done this before, but again, let's approach it a little bit differently this time). Present him with some materials. Have him read the importance of being GGG Good, Giving and Game I'd also suggest presenting him with these two books:
  A Dom's Guide To Submissive Training
  and
  The Ultimate Guide to Kink (By Tristan Taormino)
  
  Is he not much into reading? Then both of you should watch:
  
  Tristan Taormino's Rough Sex (if you're into rough sex)
  
  or
  
  Tristan Taormino's kinky sex for couple
  
  
• Step 3, put it into practice! Pick a date in the near future, go shopping for a paddle or some rope, either online or if you have a quality sex shop near you, go there. Ideally, if you have the time and money, go out that night maybe a weekend get-away with the plan for a romantic dinner, followed by some kinky role-play with the new toys.
  
  TLDR: Tell him you need this, show him exactly what you need. Give him the tools (mental, emotional, physical) to give you what you need. Set the date, and follow through.

I love xeromag's intro and especially the intro for 'nice guys'.

Love the pervocracy although Cliff's more blogger par excellence than resource. Lot's of resource-y links on there.

Not specifically BDSM, but since consent is discussed amongst kinksters more than at the world at large (which is a tragic shame for the world at large), I recommend some yes means yes.

Since shopping comes up a lot, the stockroom, the collar factory, both highly recommended. Also /r/bdsmDIY for those who don't have the money for the high end stuff, or want to try out a new style of play before investing a couple hundred bucks on it.

Paper books I love:

• Douglas Kent's series on Shibari is the best intro-to-tying-up I've ever seen. TKB aren't shabby at all, but Kent teaches you much more in the way of fundamentals, and less made-to-order harnesses/wraps that are only usable in total or not at all (Kent's books tend to have a very long section at the beginning teach all of the basics, not just specific knots, then the harnesses he suggests are merely combinations of those smaller building blocks).
  
  
• Taramino's Ultimate Guide to Kink has a great sampler platter of kinks - I haven't met someone yet that didn't find something in there they haven't tried / wanted to know more about / found exciting enough to bring up with a partner. It's a great read, and informative.
  
  That a start?

Try this:

https://www.amazon.com/Ultimate-Guide-Kink-BDSM-Erotic/dp/157344779X

There's also r/bdsmcommunity

Here are three books all by the same author. This is the best I can do, the last one is written for women but has some good information, and yes a week isn't nearly long enough to learn this, and you might not ever do it.

http://www.amazon.com/Ultimate-Guide-Kink-BDSM-Erotic/dp/157344779X/ref=la_B000APS9US_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1377358061&sr=1-2

http://www.amazon.com/Anal-Sex-Position-Guide-Mind-Blowing/dp/1592333567/ref=la_B000APS9US_1_6?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1377358061&sr=1-6

http://www.amazon.com/Ultimate-Guide-Anal-Sex-Women/dp/1573442216/ref=la_B000APS9US_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1377358061&sr=1-3

The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play and the Erotic Edge This is the best book I have found on the topic.

One of the techniques that is used to make sexual role play hot is to take the scene out of the "real" and "ordinary" to the fantastical. In other words, you don't enact scenes that would happen in real life but scene's that are absurdist versions of real life.

In the BDSM community, role play is quite common. More advance players often call it playing with Archetypes, in the mode of Carolyn Myss. Part of the negotiation is figuring out the range of possible actions for each player. And working within it. If you don't communicate, you won't get your needs met.

A couple of good books include Lee Harrington's guide to Age Play and Tristan Taormino's book.

SFSI Staff

LV / P

San Francisco Sex Information (SFSI) provides free, confidential, accurate, non-judgmental information about sex and reproductive health. You can reach us by e-mail ([email protected]) or by phone (415-989-SFSI).

camgnostic wrote:

I love xeromag's intro and especially the intro for 'nice guys'.

Love the pervocracy although Cliff's more blogger par excellence than resource. Lot's of resource-y links on there.

Not specifically BDSM, but since consent is discussed amongst kinksters more than at the world at large (which is a tragic shame for the world at large), I recommend some yes means yes.

Since shopping comes up a lot, the stockroom, the collar factory, both highly recommended. Also /r/bdsmDIY for those who don't have the money for the high end stuff, or want to try out a new style of play before investing a couple hundred bucks on it.

Paper books I love:

• Douglas Kent's series on Shibari is the best intro-to-tying-up I've ever seen. TKB aren't shabby at all, but Kent teaches you much more in the way of fundamentals, and less made-to-order harnesses/wraps that are only usable in total or not at all (Kent's books tend to have a very long section at the beginning teach all of the basics, not just specific knots, then the harnesses he suggests are merely combinations of those smaller building blocks).
  
  
  
• Taramino's Ultimate Guide to Kink has a great sampler platter of kinks - I haven't met someone yet that didn't find something in there they haven't tried / wanted to know more about / found exciting enough to bring up with a partner. It's a great read, and informative.
  
  That a start?
  
  

BDSM is the last sort of sexual activity that people should just throw themselves into in order to "see what happens" without going in-depth with their partner(s) about their needs, desires, fantasies, and expectations and providing opportunities for understanding and negotiation.

As any kinkster will tell you, awesome, mind-blowing, fulfilling sex lying within the BDSM spectrum (and that kind of sex in general) is built on three things: communication, communication, and communication.

The good people over at /r/BDSMcommunity would be able to answer a lot of questions that might arise once you've discussed things openly and honestly with your girlfriend. Here are some great print resources you should look into:

SM 101: A Realistic Introduction, by Jay Wiseman

The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play and the Erotic Edge, edited by Tristan Taormino

Different Loving: The World of Sexual Dominance and Submission, by William Brame, Gloria Brame, and Jon Jacobs

The New Bottoming Book and The New Topping Book, by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy

• Ultimate Guide to Kink - Tristan Taormino
  
• SM101 - Jay Wiseman