Reddit reviews We're Pregnant! The First Time Dad's Pregnancy Handbook

Agree with this! I think during my first pregnancy I felt the worst in my first trimester. Just so much fatigue, nausea, and the stress and worry surrounding possible loss. Finding myself something to eat was hard enough some of those weeks, and I pride myself on cooking 5 nights a week and keeping a clean home. Now I’m 8+4 with my second. My husband has been through this with me before so he knows that this too shall pass, but I warned him that not much will get done until around January.

Sure, during the second and third trimester you’re getting bigger and your body can’t move the same ways, but I definitely felt better during those trimesters, even when I was still pregnant at 41 weeks, than I did during the first trimester.

He sounds like he just doesn’t understand how much being pregnant can affect you, whether you’re visibly pregnant or not. I bought my husband a book that we read together weekly that helps explain what I was feeling. It might also help to have him join r/predaddit or to have him come to a doctor’s appointment with you and have a doctor explain the risks.

I was very active throughout my second and third trimesters but the first was so hard. Please don’t let him make you feel any guilt for putting your son and your physical and mental wellbeing first. Congratulations on the pregnancy!

I just typed up the whole story in the December bumpers subreddit (I'm on the fence, EDD is either late Dec or early Jan) so I'll just copy/paste the whole thing here:

My original plan was to take a test when my husband was at work, and then I was going to get the book "We're Pregnant! The First Time Dad's Pregnancy Handbook" by Adrian Kulp and stick it in a bubble envelope with the pregnancy test and then make it look like he received a random package (he orders books all the time and then forgets, so we get surprise books every now and then).

I ended up testing earlier than I was originally planning to (I tested at 10DPO but I wanted to wait a couple more days) because I was going out to have brunch with my girls and I needed to know if I could partake in mimosas that morning. It ended up being a squinter but I wanted to show my husband a more clearly positive test, so I stashed it in my nightstand and went off to brunch, swinging by the drug store to get some FRERs, and also the bookstore to get that book.

Since I had already flushed my FMU, I thought I could just get home after brunch (I was going to be gone for about 4 hours) and sneakily take one of the FRERs and then continue with my original plan. Well, at brunch I just couldn't hold my pee and had to go relieve myself which reset the clock. In hindsight, I should have taken the test there at the restaurant, but I had left the tests in my car because I didn't want to accidentally flash the box to my friends.

Now I had to wait until the evening time to take another test, so I ended up just telling my husband when I got home. I just couldn't hang out in the house with him for 4 hours and not let him know I thought I was pregnant. I went up to him and was like, 'So... I think we were successful.' and showed him the squinter that was in my nightstand. Part of the reason I wanted to show him a clearer test was because I didn't want him to doubt the test... I've seen a lot of videos where the woman has to convince her partner that yes, any 2nd line means it's positive, no mater how light it is, but thankfully my husband was not like that. He knew it was a positive right away. That evening I took a test and my husband and I just looked together. Actually I took a lot more tests that evening because it still didn't feel real to me, lol. It was actually kind of nice to take the tests and look at them together.

Oh yeah, and after getting a couple positives with the FRERs, I just gave him the book.

Edit: Added a link to the book.

Future dad, wife is due in March, checking in. These books have helped me:

The Expectant Father

We're Pregnant!

The Birth Partner

and for a nice laugh: Man Vs Child

Also, your doctors understand that you are not an expert, and there are no such things as dumb questions at any doctor's visit. Yes, go to every visit, be in the room, take notes for your partner, and ask questions. A good rule of thumb for everything is "ask your doctor."

And... like, I understand that you don't want to stress your partner out, but at the same time open communication is really important. Take the time to listen to her concerns, make her ginger tea, and share ideas. It's OKAY to be anxious, as long as turn that anxiety into productive energy and not needless worrying.

I use Ovia, too. It gives a nice daily update, without being overwhelming. And my husband was gifted this book by my mom, and he's been enjoying reading it week by week out loud to me haha.

Yeah I am set to graduate in December and I was feeling a bit lost so I ended up getting a book. This one in particular, not sure if this is a "good" book but it has definitely helped me understand what my wife's body is going through week to week as well as knowing what I need to worry about. I usually take a few minutes every Monday morning too read through that weeks content haha. I am sure there are online blogs that cover it as well. Also picked up a copy of What to Expect When Expecting and the first year version from Goodwill. there are so many copies of that book there haha.

Hang in there brother!

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oh shoot, I throught this was r/predaddit lol. That is a small community which was a small comfort knowing there were a bunch of soon to be dads

Last night DH mentioned that he’s giving me two small, early Christmas presents and that he might even give me one tonight. I’m assuming they must be baby related, like maybe a pregnancy journal, but I have no idea.

He also ordered himself a pregnancy book for dads, which I find very sweet. It makes me so happy to see him being excited and wanting to prepare.

This book talks about emotions and pregnancy.

My husband has read some of it, but he says he prefers this book. He said he thinks it talks about hormones and emotions and I think I saw in the description that it does in fact talk about the support pregnant people need during this time. Hopefully your boyfriend is open to reading a bit so he can understand what’s going on. The books are written by men, for men so I would hope he will believe the information haha

We’re in the trenches together, man! We can’t let the process boom us! Also, check this book out. It’s the first one I’ve bought, but the first part of it goes over a lot of the emotions we go through, and it really helped me put major worries to bed, and give me a ton of confidence.

I got this book for my husband and he loved it!:

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https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1939754682/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o00_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

Hey man. I was (and still am - 9 weeks to go!) in a similar spot. Everyone is offering good advice, but I would recommend checking out a few books to get your brain thinking about the right things (primarily logistically but also emotionally):

We're Pregnant! The First Time Dad's Pregnancy Handbook - short/easy week-by-week dissection of the pregnancy and what you should be doing to prepare along the way.

Commando Dad: Basic Training: How to Be an Elite Dad or Carer from Birth to Three Years - another short/easy read that reads like a field manual and is actually written by a navy seal. While the first book above is more focused on pregnancy, this book is more focused on what the hell to do after pregnancy.

Eat, Sleep, Poop: A Common Sense Guide to Your Baby's First Year - Although it's written by a pediatrician, it's a very simple read and very practical. Covers less logistics and more focused on health, development, sleeping, eating, etc.

These books will help put you in control of the situation and will help you lead the charge for you and your wife.

I also definitely recommend attending every prenatal appointment with your wife (and lining up a doctor ASAP - first appt should be around Week 6), as well as whatever pregnancy/baby classes your hospital offers.

As far as gear, primary items are bassinet, crib, car seat, stroller, bouncer. But you have plenty of time to figure that stuff out. Check out Lucie's List and of course Amazon for helpful reviews. BuyBuyBaby can also be a good resource - they have in-store registry consultants who will give you an entire tour of the store and provide you with some helpful advice. Both BuyBuyBaby and Amazon have 15% off end-of-registry coupons to help you save toward the end.

Feel free to hit me up with any specific questions :)