Reddit Reddit reviews Wenger 16999 Swiss Army Knife Giant

We found 122 Reddit comments about Wenger 16999 Swiss Army Knife Giant. Here are the top ones, ranked by their Reddit score.

Pocket Knives & Folding Knives
Shop Knives
Hand Tools
Power & Hand Tools
Tools & Home Improvement
Wenger 16999 Swiss Army Knife Giant
87 implements141 functionsPerfect for the collectorFeatured by major media outlets
Check price on Amazon

122 Reddit comments about Wenger 16999 Swiss Army Knife Giant:

u/HOVSEPYAN0 · 111 pointsr/Unexpected
u/_cs · 84 pointsr/funny

Here's the link to the Amazon page these reviews are on!

According to camelcamelcamel, it sells for between $853 and $1400: Link

u/Maddies_Trans_Alt · 51 pointsr/traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns
u/reverend · 47 pointsr/funny
u/LurkerOnTheInternet · 45 pointsr/funny

Amazon link

There is only one real review which says it's basically not even functional and was created only as a display item to demonstrate the various tools in their catalog.

u/Narwhale21 · 31 pointsr/outside
u/NotMyTypesType · 29 pointsr/Unexpected

There was one verified review:

> I purchase this knife on Amazon. When the knife arrived I opened the package . Most of the blades were in the open position. I thought "This is a cool knife" . I closed the knife blades and was shocked to discover that a couple of the blades were longer then the body of the knife and stuck out precariously ready to slice open any finger or body part that dare come within striking distance. What is worse is that the sharp edge of the knife blade sticks right up against a metal bolster that is in perfect position to put a large knick right in the blade. I called Wenger and asked if this was the way that they intended to make the knife or if it was a defect in which the assembler possibly put the blades in the wrong channel . I was told that this knife was a "display piece" and was never intended to be functional. Well that is all well and good but then please inform the buyer as to this fact and don't produce a marketing video that shows the many uses of the knife. I purchased this knife as a gift for a collector friend and I realize that 99% of collector knives will be locked away in a safe and never used but the difference is, a quality custom OR production tool is at least functional. That is the beauty of a tool. Wenger should be ashamed of ever letting this worthless piece of dangerous scrap metal ever leave the factory. Anyone involved in this project should be fired. The cheapest far East knife factory would never let something like this leave the door. And this is Swiss made? . I have to cringe at the thought of a product liability Attorney flashing pictures of this "Closed" knife after it slices off somebodies finger. Needless to say I sent it back to Amazon WITH A WARNING

u/WrenInFlight · 28 pointsr/funny

Then returned with two hookers and a cooler full of beer.

But my personal favorite:

> Received this knife as a gift for my 18th birthday. Wish I'd have known what it was because as soon as I touched it, I grew a mustache and became a Navy Seal. Mom fainted and my dad laughed and handed me a beer. I was born a girl.

>Minus 2 stars because my breasts were really nice.

u/stml · 26 pointsr/funny

Here's a link for the one and only actually verified purchase review and the guy actually gives a good reason to give it only a 1 star out of 5.

Turns out some of the knives are too long to actually be closed and you can't actually close each knife. I would also be pretty pissed. If something is so expensive, they might as well make it possible to completely close the thing.

u/Nfsman01 · 26 pointsr/de

Der Klassiker. Auch super im US Amazon.

u/Pighit · 23 pointsr/amazonreviews

For the joke to work you need to see the product, here

u/TSATPWTCOTTTADC · 19 pointsr/SCP

🅰️ AMAZON Wenger 16999 Swiss Army Knife Giant by Wenger

> 87 implements
>
141 functions

****
^([ )[^PM](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=TSATPWTCOTTTADC "send a private message to this person")^( | )[^FAQ](https://goo.gl/forms/yZMJ5IHUeIMHGe7s2 "questions that I frequently ask")^( | society , community , progress | v0.30 ])

u/ChicagoDogEater · 17 pointsr/Unexpected

Just checked Amazon, now they want $9,000 used!!

u/acmuseum · 16 pointsr/factorio

Not sure if has a pitchfork, but you can probably build one.

https://www.amazon.com/Wenger-16999-Swiss-Knife-Giant/dp/B001DZTJRQ

u/goto-reddit · 14 pointsr/redneckengineering

That's not a pocket knife, THIS is a pocket knife!

u/elee0228 · 13 pointsr/funny

Amazon link for convenience.

The Customer Questions & Answers sections is equally entertaining:
> Question: Can it core a apple?
Answer: Of course it can, but the apple-corer blade is accessible only if you use it immediately after the bagpipe bladder stitch removal cumberbutton and before using the panda baby spoon.

> Question: can we see a photo of this knife in the closed position?
Answer: No. Unfortunately, closing the knife brings too much mass into one location causing the formation of a small black hole. This is not covered by the warranty.

> Question: Where is the Flugelhorn?
Answer: Right in between the warp drive and the creme brulee torch.

u/nickelchip · 11 pointsr/fixit

To fix this spoon correctly, you will need a Wenger 16999 Swiss Army Knife Giant. Be sure to read the comments of this knife for directions on how to fix this spoon, save a baby whale, and to become a country/western singer.

u/sonicscrewup · 10 pointsr/amazonreviews
u/primovino · 8 pointsr/amazonreviews
u/Bohemous · 7 pointsr/knives

I would suggest one of these. No matter what activity you do that day, you should be covered with that.

u/night_86 · 7 pointsr/RocketLeague

Just take a look at "Customer Questions & Answers" of this monster!

u/Captcha_Imagination · 6 pointsr/canada

If you're under 18 YO you're only allowed to carry the Wenger 16999 Swiss Army Knife

u/oogiewoogie · 6 pointsr/minimalism

Swiss Army Knives? Buy one for $1371 and it replaces all 228 different tools around your house, eliminating the need for a toolbox.

Now whether it will save you time actually trying to find what you need, is a different matter.

u/LucidicShadow · 5 pointsr/humorousreviews
u/[deleted] · 5 pointsr/progun
u/skorm305 · 5 pointsr/malefashionadvice

Here's a good one if you're looking for something simple and low price.

u/Seven_Sword_Style · 5 pointsr/EDC
u/PixParavel · 4 pointsr/pcmasterrace

Fun fact, that specific knife is a collectors item and can be bought new on Amazon for $11,000. Downside is The Verge would still be unable to apply thermal paste properly.

https://www.amazon.ca/Wenger-16999-Swiss-Knife-Giant/dp/B001DZTJRQ

u/whatifimthedovahkiin · 4 pointsr/knifeclub
u/boenli · 4 pointsr/oddlysatisfying
u/just_dots · 3 pointsr/mildlyinteresting
u/Zecyde · 3 pointsr/BossFights
u/anudeep30 · 3 pointsr/funny
u/IronPentacarbonyl · 3 pointsr/EDC

The reviews are the best part.

u/annoyingone · 3 pointsr/Survival

Heh heh this guy

u/Bec-De-Corbin · 3 pointsr/Pathfinder_RPG

Dear lord, have you played either of these? I can't imagine how it must operate, other than feeling like, well, this.

u/Mr_Quagmire · 3 pointsr/pics

www.amazon.com/dp/B001DZTJRQ/

u/Frumious_Snatch · 3 pointsr/teenagers
u/Alca_Pwn · 3 pointsr/geek
u/csteinbeiser · 3 pointsr/Animemes
u/Russell_M_Jimmies · 3 pointsr/java

The assumption that you can't get a job and avoid Hibernate is a self-fulfilling prophecy. I've used--and insisted on--Jdbi at my last two jobs and it did not hurt my prospects in any way.

​

Let's get specific about the reasons for avoiding Hibernate / JPA:

​

JPA takes from you both control of, and visibility into, the SQL statements executed by the framework.

​

It sets in stone (based on annotations) once and for all use cases which secondary queries will be run and which columns will be selected any time a certain type is retrieved from the database--regardless of whether the use case at hand calls for it. This dramatically hurts performance.

​

It is difficult to predict how it formulates SQL commands based on your annotations, requiring testing and SQL logging just to make sure Hibernate is doing what it should.

​

JPA is tricky to configure, with myriad corner cases that frequently require extended debug sessions. Fun fact: debugging through Hibernate's internals is hellish. Thought you were going to spend time developing that new feature? Fuck you, first you have to spend hours to days figuring out how to coerce Hibernate to do this thing that would be trivial in plain JDBC.

​

JPA conditions developers to think in terms of the limited models that JPA supports, blinding them to all the other cool shit DB vendors support. "Well, Postgres has native support support for HSTORE but JPA doesn't support it, so we just added added a separate key/value table off the main table to hold those entries."

​

But by far, the worst, most egregious design decision was the combination of sessions and lazy loading. Hey, let's take a straightforward database query and obfuscate it behind unintuitive framework logic, because we're smart for you! Let's be super fucking clever and make it so navigating an object graph incurs database operations invisibly--for convenience! You probably didn't need most of that data we loaded, but you're welcome anyway.

​

Hibernate went too far. They tried to SOLVE ALL THE PROBLEMS instead of just giving us what we needed: a data access layer.

​

We don't need object-relational mapping! We don't need a session cache. We sure as fuck don't need open-session-in-view. We just needed something to make plain old SQL approachable (more approachable than JDBC, at any rate). Instead we got this:

​

https://www.amazon.com/Wenger-16999-Swiss-Knife-Giant/dp/B001DZTJRQ

​

Java devs need to start embracing SQL for what it is, and stop trying to shoehorn it into an object-oriented paradigm.

​

JPA is an albatross. Run, do not walk to the exits.

u/NoirChaos · 3 pointsr/mallninjashit
u/Thalidomidas · 3 pointsr/amazonreviews
u/yxcdeb · 3 pointsr/IAmA

Did you check out the one for the massive Swiss army knife?
http://www.amazon.com/Wenger-16999-Giant-Swiss-Knife/dp/B001DZTJRQ/ref=pd_sim_sbs_e_3

u/daLuiz · 3 pointsr/ArtefactPorn

It's on amazon.

u/trompiston · 2 pointsr/BuyItForLife
u/homelesspolitician · 2 pointsr/humor

Phenomenal. I remember reviews like this for the Wenger Swiss Knife Giant.

u/mj4276 · 2 pointsr/funny
u/DenjinJ · 2 pointsr/YouShouldKnow

Hopped a couple links from that and found a really relevant one... check out the comedy reviews for this monster SAK. (Think I got the whole referrer link stripped out...)

"I tried to file my nails, but in the process I accidentally fixed a small engine that was near by. Which was nice"

u/Right-wing_snowflake · 2 pointsr/ScenesFromAHat
u/medicfourlife · 2 pointsr/Random_Acts_Of_Amazon

This is an essential product for anyone enjoys trying to tweeze their eyebrows whilst simultaneously corkscrewing their eyeball. Those who do not have a gun for self protection (and even those who do) should own one of these, as there are few things less destructive. Just throwing it at your assailant can cause all kinds of bodily harm that would put Chuck Norris to shame.

u/epilepticrave · 2 pointsr/knives

Still significantly less impressive than the Giant

u/thawizard · 2 pointsr/Skookum
u/DeusExNoctis · 2 pointsr/Survival

I think this should do the trick.

And check out the reviews!

u/-Sio- · 2 pointsr/FFBraveExvius
u/MaybE_Tree · 2 pointsr/linuxmasterrace

Sighhhh you bait worked. Here goes!

vim a text editor, which is only a part of a development environment. You need other programs to go along with it, like a file manager, a terminal, a compiler and a debugger. Think of it like tools in a toolbox -- each performs its own task and is separate from the others. Now, of course, as you say, doing things this way is stupid when you can just get an IDE! Just like carrying around a toolbox is stupid when you can get the Wegner 16999 87-tool swiss army knife. It has a saw, a hatchet, a screwdriver, a hammer and a spot welder all integrated into it for ease of access! Of course, if you don't like the shape of the saw, there's no way to replace it, but who would ever need that amirite? It's a bit cumbersome to handle, but the way it's all integrated together increases your productivity! Not to mention the obvious ergonomic benefits!

Minimalism is not about taking away key features. It's about distributing the workload between separate interchangeable and configurable parts that work together to make a greater whole. If you're installing a file manager into vim as a plugin, you're already missing the point!

And you need to enable the system clipboard in vim during compile-time, or get the vim-huge (iirc) package from your package manager. The command to copy is "+y , cut is "+d and paste is "+p

u/Google_Ninja · 2 pointsr/pics
u/Proxystarkilla · 2 pointsr/zelda

As a character he's so powerful, in the lore I mean. Hero of Time, Light, the Gods and all that. He has the Sword of Evil's Bane and banishes the evil Ganon and all that. For gameplay, he has tons, tons TONS of gear. Think Hoss Delgado, with all his different hand weapons was morphed with this. Hookshot, longshot, clawshot, Ocarina, Wind Waker, Spirit Flute, Master Sword, magic masks used for rituals that turn him into other races or a gigantic Link or the Fierce Deity Link, the Megaton Hammer, bombs, bows imbued with fire, ice and light, the list goes on. He's a Swiss Army Knife with an item for every situation and he wears magic plot armor. Also magic armor powered by money.

u/AbsolutelyPink · 2 pointsr/whatisthisthing
u/zrizza · 2 pointsr/funny

Amazing. I love the Internet community. If you liked this you'll definitely enjoy the Amazon reveiws for the Wenger 16999 Swiss Army Knife. Oh, and also this banana slicer. I have both pages bookmarked for rainy days - the reviews are that funny.

u/betheliquor · 2 pointsr/ar15

Check out the [Wenger 16999 Swiss Army Knife](Wenger 16999 Swiss Army Knife Giant https://www.amazon.com/dp/B001DZTJRQ/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_VnVzDbSK16SGA) reviews.

u/girmad · 2 pointsr/AskReddit
u/PlatypusTales · 2 pointsr/funny
u/Bobbert_Flinton · 2 pointsr/funny

This one might actually be the original. Much funnier.

(See top comment in link.)

u/saturday186 · 2 pointsr/Random_Acts_Of_Amazon

Dandelion and burdock !!!
.

All of them are pretty hilarious but the first one on the second page shows the true qualities of this giant swiss army knife. Then just read the short one after that.

.
.
.

Also since nike foams were a pretty big thing back home, these reviews made me bust out laughing.

u/SirRhor · 1 pointr/funny

hehe: "Used (1) from $9,999.99 + $8.50 Shipping"

u/BigLittlePenguin_ · 1 pointr/Nicegirls

Nah mate, there is that swiss army knife that must have a least a thousand. Have fun with it

u/erinem2003 · 1 pointr/news
u/Steelersgirl20 · 1 pointr/Random_Acts_Of_Amazon

DIRTY THIRTY

Definitely the Swiss army knife reviews they're so funny! And the wolf shirt reviews

Thanks!

u/caturdaynauplz · 1 pointr/Random_Acts_Of_Amazon

All.of.these

DIRTY THIRTY

u/NarwallMan · 1 pointr/mildlyinteresting

You think that is a multitool? Now this is a true multitool

u/fairyofsnow · 1 pointr/Unexpected

Link if anyone is interested: https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B001DZTJRQ#Ask

u/ListenToTheMusic · 1 pointr/Random_Acts_Of_Amazon

How about this?

u/Mikkel0405 · 1 pointr/dankmemes

IDK just found it on google images, but Here you go: https://www.amazon.com/Wenger-16999-Swiss-Knife-Giant/dp/B001DZTJRQ

u/Hodaka · 1 pointr/worldnews

Most gushing reviews are easy to spot, and easy to ignore.

On the other hand, I have a soft spot for some fake reviews, such as the 560 entries for the Wenger 16999 Swiss Army Knife.

u/Davebrochill · 1 pointr/pics
u/nikiu · 1 pointr/mildlyinteresting

He should switch to this.

u/BaconRapin · 1 pointr/awesome

Reminds me of a miniature Wenger 16999, but even that doesn't have a hammer.

u/booszhius · 1 pointr/AutoCAD

I use this feature every day. I've been using AutoCAD since release 2 on floppies, and learned to draft by hand, too. I have a deep appreciation for the multitude of tools AutoCAD offers - even if I never use them, I appreciate that they are there before someone needs them, and I might eventually use them too.

AutoCAD is like those massive Swiss Army knives. It all comes down to the task at hand, and knowing what tool is going to help you get it done that much faster and more efficiently.

This particular tool helps to eliminate the need to draw construction lines by inferring coordinates based on when you have already drawn and the direction you move your mouse.

u/zeefomiv · 1 pointr/AskReddit

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B001DZTJRQ/?tag=047-20

So I scrolled down and saw this...

Wat.

u/MiscalculatedRisk · 1 pointr/GlobalOffensive

Pff... just a normal victorinox swiss knife?

Check this shit out I wanna see an animation where you pull it out, cant decide which tool to use, and just go around bashing people over the head with it.

u/jellycomb · 1 pointr/pcmasterrace

I think this is not enough, you need this

u/indefaggotable · 1 pointr/todayilearned
u/eltonnovs · 1 pointr/knives

Well every tool ís functional, but I wouldn't call it useful. It's not really a pocketknife anymore...

If I remember correctly a prototype was created for a guinness world record. A couple years later they started to make it for the consumer market. You can get one for around $4000. Read the questions and reviews, they're awesome!

u/Origami_Architect_ · 1 pointr/mallninjashit
u/Schneebaer89 · 1 pointr/FIFA
u/Iwasateenagecirclrjk · 1 pointr/funny

Here's the Amazon link where i got the pictures from. Unfortunately Amazon deleted the pictures.
Here's the amazon.com link with a list of tools the knife has

u/JohnnyRolph · 1 pointr/EDC
u/mx_missile_proof · 1 pointr/medicine
u/gorimem · 1 pointr/IndiaNonPolitical
u/FesteringNeonDistrac · 1 pointr/Justrolledintotheshop

I used to stare at the 'everything' swiss army knife in the display case of the store that sold knives in the mall. I dreamed about how cool it would be to have that one.

u/TesselArts · 1 pointr/gamedev

I've rolled my own engine for my most recent project as a solo developer; if you're interested, you can see it here.

​

Existing engines are absolutely brilliant; Unity and Unreal especially are insanely powerful and applicable for a large percentage of games or graphical apps. They do however, come with a large amount of bloat as they need to be designed to account for a huge variety of needs. This invariably, makes them not performance efficient for a type of app which requires specifics only.

Look at the 'Wenger Giant' Swiss army knife; it undoubtedly does more than 99% of other Swiss army knives but that doesn't make it better for all of those tasks in isolation. If you just want a few of the things it can provide, you're better off buying a smaller product for ease of use (i.e. 2d game, get gamemaker) or individual bespoke tools (rolling your own engine).

​

Could Unreal or Unity do all of what I needed? Kind of. Do the needs of my project align with what they provide as a primary performance focus? Well their main strength is to work with apps which need to pre-load assets and have them display beautifully in a scene. If you need that, use them, they're perfect.

They can do large scale areas but they're not focused for that so it's a bit of a deficit if you try to force them this way too, hence why I think so many open-world games use others/their own engine. You can still get decent results though. It's when you look at that 'pre-load and display' main service they provide and realise that's not what you need at all, then a custom engine might be the best way forward.

​

For me, needing large areas, focused heavily on particle systems which drive movement, all procedural during runtime, as well as real-time generating skyboxes, using weird compute shader texture update logic per-frame etc etc. Basically very little of what I need aligns with their main goals so using Unreal/Unity would have meant a more limited product overall as none of these things are exactly what those engines are focused on.

In my example, my engine can be tailored to accommodate what I need specifically, instead of battling to override what they're really built to provide, meaning much faster performance. Also, if there is a bug, I know it's caused by something I've done instead of being hidden away in the engine.

​

It's slower to make your own engine (Probably took me about a year to get mine right) but the ability to focus it makes it so much better for certain circumstances.

u/dreadfulpennies · 1 pointr/Random_Acts_Of_Amazon

Oh, god. The Wenger 16999 Swiss Army Knife always and forever.

DIRTY THIRTY

Edit: Someone linked the thing just right before me. :(

Edit Edit: Has anyone linked to the 55 Gallon drum of personal lubricant yet?

u/kmccoy · 1 pointr/techtheatre
u/biscaynebystander · 1 pointr/funny

I think the reviews for the Wenger 16999 Swiss Army Knife Giant have this beat.

u/EbayNachos · 1 pointr/knives

Well if you think all a good knife is is just a bunch of features go and get yourself the Wenger 16999. This knife was built thin and for purely neck carry. Adding more "features" to satisfy one person would ruin the knife for a lot of people.

u/Prae7oriaN · 1 pointr/funny

This comment was also take from a different, and much more awesome, knife. http://www.amazon.com/Wenger-16999-Swiss-Knife-Giant/dp/B001DZTJRQ

u/sowbug · 0 pointsr/chromeos

Compare http://www.amazon.com/dp/B001DZTJRQ and http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0060E7I78/.

Also consider Steve Jobs' car/truck comparison.

Complexity has a cost, and it's not always financial.

u/Rattle22 · 0 pointsr/de

Falls man gut vorbereitet sein will kann ich das Wenger 16999 sehr empfehlen.

u/SpinalPrizon · 0 pointsr/Random_Acts_Of_Amazon

I dunno. "Gimme the $1million bucks so I can see" ;)

--------------------------

There is this

&

This


&

This


And the motherlode

u/AwesomeDay · 0 pointsr/promos

EPIC

Found it somewhere on that site, hahaha.