Reddit Reddit reviews When He's Married to Mom: How to Help Mother-Enmeshed Men Open Their Hearts to True Love and Commitment

We found 4 Reddit comments about When He's Married to Mom: How to Help Mother-Enmeshed Men Open Their Hearts to True Love and Commitment. Here are the top ones, ranked by their Reddit score.

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When He's Married to Mom: How to Help Mother-Enmeshed Men Open Their Hearts to True Love and Commitment
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4 Reddit comments about When He's Married to Mom: How to Help Mother-Enmeshed Men Open Their Hearts to True Love and Commitment:

u/Kaypeep · 9 pointsr/JUSTNOMIL

THIS IS AWESOME. Seriously. Maybe he doesn't realize how involved she already is in your lives because he grew up with her and he's used to her. But you've compromised enough. If his mom can't pony up with proof of her plans to confirm this won't be permanent, then you have every right to say no. You are not uncaring. But he's asking too much. This woman is already way more involved than is normal. She has issues and needs to find solutions. Enabling her won't help.
Read the preview of this book. I saw it posted on another thread and it sums up this situation quite well. He needs to realize she's using him. it may not be deliberate or malicious, but she's using him as a substitute partner nevertheless, and he's going to lose you if he keeps putting her first and not you.
https://www.amazon.com/When-Hes-Married-Mom-Mother-Enmeshed-ebook/dp/B000P1KPQS/ref=pd_ybh_a_22?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=RXRY9H1DNX3CY15CWV5J

u/myexsparamour · 3 pointsr/sexover30

I'm sorry that I don't have any really great resources to recommend. You could check out Harriet Lerner's books. They're good on family dynamics in general, although I don't think any of them deal with this issue in particular. I found this one on the subject of mother/son enmeshment, but haven't read it so I can't say how good it is.

https://www.amazon.com/When-Hes-Married-Mom-Mother-Enmeshed-ebook/product-reviews/B000P1KPQS

Basically, though, the recommendation I've seen is that you need to deal with the relationship to your mother directly, by setting boundaries with her while staying in a relationship and avoiding emotional cut-off. If you deal with your mother, you can stop casting other women in her role in your life, and stop playing out those dysfunctional patterns with them.