Reddit reviews When Panic Attacks: The New, Drug-Free Anxiety Therapy That Can Change Your Life

>I failed a college course because I was too afraid to do public speaking.


I did too. Shit sucks, I've gotta work on it.

/u/TomasTTEngin is right though, behavioral therapy can fix this if you go through it.

A strategy I've been considering is going to toastmasters in conjunction with using the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy techniques from this book.

Supposedly CBT really does work surprisingly well. There was a recent study about people with social anxiety who did a self taught online CBT course and in only 9 weeks they showed it caused actual structural changes in their amygdalas (fear-processing center of their brain). I'll see if I can find that one, but yeah, there is hope to change!

Edit: Here's that study

Type 1 diabetes sounds pretty scary, so I can understand why you would worry so much about your future. But if you take good care of your body (eat healthy foods, exercise, take your medication, etc.), then that much worrying is probably going to be counterproductive.

Have you considered going to a therapist to get help with your anxiety?

By the way, I found When Panic Attacks helpful for my own anxiety.

Do you have a kindle account? If not get one and read these books:

When Panic Attacks

Constructive Living

The Confidence Gap

The Dare Response

Just download the samples and see which one resonates with you most that you might like to read. Seriously potently life changing stuff. These have been invaluable techniques for me personally.

I've dealt with the same things in my relationship. I'm also in my first (and hopefully lifelong) relationship and I feel the same sort of separation anxiety sometimes. Even when we are just going to be apart for a day I get all depressed and anxious. We've been together four months now (almost five) and he's become such an important part of my life, and being with him has become part of my daily routine. When we don't get to see each other, I feel like my day is thrown off.

I went to Disney World with my family about 2 months into our relationship and we were apart about 10 days. I dreaded the lead up to it (even though I was also excited about going to Disney World) and I had that ache in my chest the first day. I just knew he'd realize he wasn't really in love with me and that he'd dump me through text or something (which never happened of course...) Luckily it got better (though I did have a sort of depression episode on one of the days, which was caused by a couple of other issues...) We Facetimed together, texted, and talked on the phone for a little bit each day, and that made it easier while being apart.

I had the same questions about over-dependency also, but I've come to the conclusion that those feelings are because you're still building trust with one another, and for anxious people like us, it's a lot more difficult to learn to trust someone else, so to compensate we get a little clingy. I still get anxious when I know we're not going to see each other, but it's not NEARLY as bad as when we first entered into a serious relationship with each other.

A few things that have helped me get through those times are... Being honest with one another. We agreed, right from the start, that we would always be honest about how we're feeling with one another. My BF also deals with some depression / anxiety so he knows what it's like. I've been open with him about my hyper-anxiety issues and about how my mind takes small things and blows them out of proportion. He can usually tell when I'm having a "flare-up" (as I like to call them) and if he asks what's wrong, I usually tell him "I'm dealing with some anxiety right now, my thoughts probably aren't rational, so let's talk about it later when I'm thinking rationally again, ok?" In those few times, he's just backed off with the questions, held me if we were together, assured me it's going to be ok, and then we talked about it later when I felt better.

I also started looking into cognitive therapy techniques. These specific ideas in particular have helped me quite a bit.

1. You can't predict the future: While this seems obvious, for me, it's one of the main things that my mind tries to do when I'm anxious. I automatically start imagining all of these ridiculous scenarios that aren't based on anything logical and usually end up with him leaving me. It helps to remind myself that I can't predict the future (no one can) and that worrying about what might happen later, takes you away from what is happening now and is a sure way to ruin things.
   
2. Don't reason from your emotions: This is biggest thing that I do. I think, as others have said, that missing your SO is normal when you're apart. But one of the things my mind does is create thoughts based on how I'm feeling, then I convince myself I'm feeling that way because of those thoughts (if that makes sense...) For instance, let's say I feel that slight sadness when we're apart (which is completely normal). Well, then my mind starts making up all of these scenarios about how he's going to leave me, etc... and then in my anxiety, I start thinking that I'm feeling that sadness because of those thoughts, rather than the other way around. It makes the thoughts seem valid in the moment, even though they're completely illogical and not based off of any evidence. For me, it helps to remind myself when I'm feeling that way, that "emotions are normal. Sometimes we just feel sad or worried for no real reason, so don't over-think or over-analyse your feelings." When I start trying to reason out my emotions, it only leads to a snowball effect of anxiety and depression for me, so I've been practicing not thinking about why I'm feeling that way. Yes, I still feel that way, but it usually doesn't get any worse and generally goes away a lot faster. I think it's okay to feel anxious or sad at times, and it's dwelling on the "why" that leads those feelings to get stronger; at least for me. Sometimes there just isn't a reason (other than body chemistry), especially for those of us that are naturally inclined to anxiety.
   
   
3. The last thing that has helped me quite a bit is that I started keeping an anxiety journal. Basically, I write down my "automatic thoughts" right as they come, look through the list of "Cognitive Distortions" (thought distortions), Then I respond to them logically. Dissecting them and really reasoning through why they are illogical helps me to get past them. I don't know about you, but when I'm feeling particularly anxious, I'm not the most reasonable person. So it definitely helps to step out of the anxiety and think rationally if even for a moment. Journaling helps me to force myself to step out of the fog, so to speak.
   
   Anyway... I've gone on way longer than I intended and probably moved into things that aren't even part of your issue, but there it is anyway... If you're interested, here's a link to the book that helped me a bit:
   
   https://www.amazon.com/When-Panic-Attacks-Drug-Free-Anxiety-ebook/dp/B000GCFVV0/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1482052893&sr=8-1
   
   Also, here's a link to the anxiety journal I made for myself based off of stuff from the book (I spreadsheet pretty much every part of my life lol!) Disclaimer: I'm not a professional. This is just something I've made for myself based on information given in the book above, which I've found helpful for me. (Also, don't judge me too harshly on my thoughts written in it... I'm leaving them in it just so you can see what I do. I know they're pretty melodramatic...)
   
   https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1i6XTy5OkRNjfaoGnwHqSZjtWZUuJkbqaBvhP-RwKPI8/edit?usp=sharing
   
   

https://www.amazon.com/When-Panic-Attacks-Drug-Free-Anxiety-ebook/dp/B000GCFVV0

Here's some info on CBT and other treatment. I also found this book to be helpful, along with this workbook. :)