We found 43 Reddit comments about Where Did I Come From?. Here are the top ones, ranked by their Reddit score.
Yep - My parents read this one with me
Funny story... Me (6) and my sister (4) actually unwittingly gave our parents "the talk". They had this little book, "Where Did I Come From?" that gave amusing illustrations and humor as well as informative details on sex, pregnancy and childbirth. Of course, we mostly limited ourselves to the amusing first pages where children made guesses as to where they came from, like "my dad found me in his beer mug" and "the stork dropped me through the window". There were funnier ones, but I've no idea where that book ended up.
I don't know if they left that around intentionally for us to find, or just left it around, but considering the content I suspect the former. Of course at age 6 I knew little of the value of that content and didn't make all the right connections. (I explained to my parents that sex made kids and felt good and it happened because people loved each other, etc. etc., yet never made the connection between that and "hey, you're my parents... oh.")
Thanks to that, over time, sex was never totally alien to me, and between an early basic education with some light humor in a gentle book, and the bits you pick up from kids at school up until a practically unnecessary (by that point) sex-ed, I never really needed the talk because... Well, I was the one preaching it.
I approve of your approach to make sure your son does not pick up a negative attitude about sex but it is going to be tough because he will say things that are inappropriate at times. There will be some rough times where you are embarrassed and/or he is possibly embarrassed. It will be one way for him to learn, by strong reactions, when it is inappropriate in our society to talk about those subjects. It's not an easy path but I think it's a good path to take because it will help in making these easier subjects to talk about for everyone in the future.
I would also suggest that while he is asking about sexual matters, remember that he is 6 and that his focus is most likely different from an adults. It is easy for adults to start assigning thoughts to children's behavior that is not happening. I remember reading about things when I was a child and teenager about sex and I did not fully understand what was happening in the descriptions. It was only years later when I re-read some of those books that I fully understood what was happening. I had totally skipped over those parts when I was younger because I had no context for the behavior, even though I had pictures and some knowledge of male and female anatomy. Children are not necessarily operating in the same context that adults are.
I would say look at books that are age appropriate and use those to help explain things. One that I found years ago is "Where Did I Come From?", it keeps things at a basic level, has drawings that show adults naked but still keeps things at an appropriate level for a child. It may help answer some questions for your son. I suspect he is trying to match up information he has heard or found elsewhere and it's good that he trusts you enough to ask you instead of checking with friends. That says that you are doing something right.
I also read this article a while back "This is What Sex-Postive Parenting Looks Like", you might find some things here that help you out. In the end, I would recommend looking at your son as a 6 year old who is curious about where babies come from and that his autism adds a dimension on how you will pass on that information.
NT kids also blurt out inappropriate things at that age so he won't be the only one. I've heard a saying for kindergarten and first grade teachers for parents. The teachers will only listen to half of the things the children say about the parents if the parents promise to only listen to half of the things the child says about the teacher. Here's an example, I have a friend who is helping out with a kindergarten class. One day the children were holding up how many fingers to show how old they are. One little boy asked her how old she was and she flashed her fingers 5 times to show she was in her 50's. His eyes got big and he said "Wow, you look for that many!" For an NT child, we chuckle, but for a child with autism it can be easy to be concerned about hurting the other person's feelings and scolding them for what they said.
All children have to learn what is appropriate to talk about in their culture and unfortunately, the focus on helping the autism side can make us forget that there is also a child in there. Hope this helps some.
I agree with this. My parents gave me <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Where-Did-Come-Peter-Mayle/dp/0818402539/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1289074515&amp;sr=8-1"&gt;Where Did I Come From?</a> as a kid, and I'm totally going to give that to my parents.
The only drawback was that I got in trouble in preschool for drawing naked people like I saw in the book.
I'm so glad so many others have pointed out how bizarre, tone-deaf, and insulting this question is.
No, female people are not "appropriating" discussions about their own rights. Lesbian, infertile women, girls who have not entered puberty yet, women who are post-menopausal, celibate women, and women who have simply never (yet) had an abortion are all people who ARE directly impacted by the debate over who owns our internal organs.
If you honestly don't see a difference between female people talking about sex-based oppression and male people talking about sex-based oppression, then I recommend this text as a starting point for you.
I don't recall ever getting The Talk, but just had this book in the living room bookshelf. Avoided all sorts of awkward questions back then, I'm sure.
My Dad was the one who told my sister and I about intercourse when I was 8. He sat us down and read us this picture book. I was a little grossed out, but it did not change my feelings about Dad at all!
However, whether she learns about sex or not, your daughter will pull away from you in the next couple years as she goes through puberty. Heck, so will your son later on. That's what teenagers do. It has little to nothing to do with the realization that "my parent's have sex!" and everything to do with just growing up and trying to figure out who they are.
You sound like a caring father with a good relationship wit your daughter. You're relationship might not involve cuddling or wrestling matches as she gets older but there's no reason to think you won't remain close.
Yeah they can. This book is ages 6 and up. Its legal in all 50 states to breastfeed in public its just unusual. I don't see how its different to explain to a child that "That lady is feeding her baby, yes she has milk in her boobies" than "That lady has (insert physical/mental handicap here) but she's just like you and I.
I don't know the stork book as so can't compare, but this one worked on me: http://www.amazon.com/Where-Did-I-Come-From/dp/0818402539
> I'm feeling really awkward and weirded out by the situation. I'm trying to figure out how to make those feelings go away and at the same time be able to talk to my daughter about what she saw.
It sounds like this is a learning opportunity for all of you. Your daughter is going to take cues from you on how to think and feel about this, and it's important to help her not learn shame. Do your best over the next couple days to think over what's making you so uncomfortable and why, and try to problem solve that enough to talk to openly to your daughter. Because you need to. She's going to learn about sex, now or later, and it's better if she learns from you because you can screen what she sees and hears and create a positive context for her. My suggestions for managing your awkward feelings are to remind yourself that knowing about sexuality is important and healthy, and to read/watch a range of age-appropriate media on sex.
You wouldn't send your daughter off into the world not knowing about healthy food and staying active, right? And you'd never dream of teaching her everything about her body except for, say, her teeth? In just a couple years, sexual health will be core to her well-being just like dental health and good eating habits are. It's so, so much harder to talk about because it's shrouded in shame and fear and misinformation, but teaching your daughter about sex is fundamentally teaching her about her health. The more you can remind yourself of that, I think the less weird it'll feel to talk to her about it.
The internet has a wealth of information about sex for people of all ages. This is great for you, because the more of that you take in, the more normal it'll seem to talk about it out loud. My parents read me Where Did I Come From when I was a kid, and I remember it being straightforward, informative, and positive. There's a movie, too! Scarleteen.com is a sex-positive website for young people to learn about sex and while it might be too advanced for an 8-year-old, it would probably give you some good language for whatever you talk about. Laci Green's youtube channel is also very good. Same caveat -- maybe too advanced, but would be good for you to try to find a new tone for thinking and talking about sex.
You have an opportunity here. Your daughter is going to grow up and she's going to have sex. If you start talking to her openly about sex, in an age-appropriate way, you'll plant some important seeds. First, she'll have words for her body parts, what they do, and how they work. This is medically important -- she needs to be able to tell somebody, you or a doctor, if something is different, painful, or otherwise wrong. She needs to know that it's OK to talk about her body. Second, you'll be able to teach her hugely important concepts like privacy, boundaries, and consent. It is never too early to teach a child that they need to knock before opening a closed door, that their body belongs to them, and that they can tell people not to touch them. Third, healthy sexuality IS important for a person's happiness. Sex shame and body shame make people less happy, and you want the people you love to be happy.
Haha, the "birds and bees talk" is just a common euphemism that people give to parental sex education and, honestly, the idea that you should be having this discussion with your children AFTER they are already sexually mature makes absolutely no sense to me.
I knew what sex was from a very young age, my parents never tried to hide it from me or make it a shameful thing. There were no "stork" stories or any of that crap. I remember them reading Where Did I Come From to me in primary school. This book is awesome, by the way, and I would recommend it to the OP for her child. It's very sex positive, contains just enough imagery and explanation to make everything easy to understand but not be too graphic, and explains sex and the process of pregnancy in simple terms.
My parents used to read Where Did I Come From to me when I was that age:
If I remember it does say something about love. It doesn't say ejaculation, but it says something along the lines of... until they feel like they'll explode, and then they do. Then it talks about sperm, but that's just the beginning.
Most of the book talks about the baby in the mother's womb, the umbilical cord, and childbirth.
As for the gay thing... no matter what your personal beliefs are, same-sex couples cannot create children without a sperm donor or surrogate mother. Male + female is kind of a requirement.
I was about her age when I started asking very pointed questions about where babies come from. this book is great. The graphics are hysterically bad, but the info really "dumbed" everything down to a four year old level and I was able to understand for the most part. Props to you for wanting to have this discussion early. There's no logical reason to wait and let them figure it out in their own. They usually get it wrong, and end up experimenting to figure it out. Best of luck!!
Where Did I Come From?
They read me this book when I was like seven or eight.
These two books are classic and very appropriate for her age. They address both puberty and sex with clear descriptions and accurate terminology. Think of it as something you would explain, like the seasons and the earth tilting on its axis. It doesn't need to be overwhelming or taboo.
You want her to be comfortable coming to you with questions.
My parents read them to me, and I read them to my girls several times over the years.
I just lent our copies to the neighbors. I hope they work well for you!
Just BTW, Amazon links include all kinds of unnecessary crap, most of which can be omitted. You can cut it down to "/dp" and the ISBN, e.g.:
http://www.amazon.com/dp/0818403128 ("What's Happening to Me?" An Illustrated Guide to Puberty)
http://www.amazon.com/dp/0818402539 (Where Did I Come From?)
Although leaving the title in can be useful
Where Did I Come From
My mom bought this book for us when we were little. It's a very frank, honest, and appropriate book for small children. I knew about the biology basically before I started school. Something possessed me to bring it on the school bus one day, and after much sniggering and laughter, a lot of kids really got into it seriously. I feel 7 year old me did a great service to society that day. Sneak a copy to every niece, nephew, cousin or friends kid that you can. It can only do good.
"Where did I come from" and "What's happening to me?"
I read both as a kid, plan to pay it forward once my yungins are old enough
This looks remarkably like a kids book I had when I was little,Where Did I Come From?.
Pretty much the first thing I ever remember reading was this, so I guess I never really had any misconceptions.
The easiest (and maybe one of the best) ways is to get one of the many books that are geared for young children about sex. They introduce sex in an appropriate and understandable way and provide an opportunity for you to enter into a discussion with your child.
This is a great first book and appropriate for an 8 year old.
my parents had us read this awful book.
it seriously messed me up a bit, why do they feel the need to make adults overly hairy and fat. At 6, I assumed that ALL adults ended up that way and was terrified of growing up.
That one was the very first one, I was like six or seven. I kept asking my grandma where babies came from and she probably told my parents because she didn't want to have the sex talk lol. I snuck that book on the school bus a few times and my friend and I would look at the illustrations and giggle to each other, because sex is funny to little kids.
This one was probably more embarrassing than the first, I got that when I was like 9, but I remember I would reference that book many times so it did come in handy.
From this book
Oh god. Gave me a short book called "where did i come from" to read. I proceeded to hide in my room for a half hour dying from embarrassment
EDIT: Found the book
When me and my brothers were little, my parents read me the book "Where did I come from?" by Peter Mayle. My dad would read it to us like any other story, and show us the illustrations. He never made a big deal out of it, made it just like any other story only about our bodies.
This answered a LOT of questions about human reproduction that I didn't quite know that I had. A lot of kids my age were completely clueless, comparatively speaking. It had such an effect on me, even 30 years later I remember the name of the book and recommend it to everyone who needs it.
As a wee lad, my grandma gave me some similar books (in English of course) that were very enlightening:
Are you asking about Where Did I come From?
I had that too! It's still around
I did have some misconceptions though. I thought that the guy peed in the girl while the girl peed at the same time and that if a guy and a girl's pee met outside the body, like in the sewer, it would create some sort of sewer monster. I had an active imagination.
Gob bless my mom then. As soon as I first asked she brought out the book Where did I come from Then she answered any questions I had. She also took time to point out while sex isn't wrong some people will do and say things just to get it. She taught me to not do anything unless I was ready regardless of what the other person wants. Her openness allowed me to have a appreciation for sex as well as, the wherewithal know to respect myself and to make sure those I sleep with respect me as well.
Did anyone else get this one?
My sister had the misfortune to be given it. I had The Care and Keeping of You.
My parents had me read both of those books in my youth, and i have no regrets :)
That book is Where Did I Come From? My mother (a single mom) gave me that book on a two-hour car trip, and made me read it out loud. That was my "talk," and nearly the grand total of sexual discussion with my mother in the 30ish years since.
Yeah, it was around when I was a kid, but my parents got me this nonsense instead...not terrible, but the pictures were weird. I mostly remember a cartoon of a sperm dressed in a top hat and tails, holding flowers, and the description of an orgasm as a very pleasurable sneeze, lol.
Where did I come from?
What's happening to me?
Ugh it wasn't.
Edit: Here is the sex book
Here is the body book
We also will answer any questions. I highly recommend getting Where did I come from. It's a really good book that explains everything & is for kids.
Where Did I Come From?
What's Happening To Me?
Two of my favorite books growing up. My WASP-y parents certainly weren't going to have "the talk" with me. When my mother discovered I'd had sex (by reading my journal) her response to me was, "What are people going to think?".
My mom was a conflicted feminist. At least she made sure I had the facts about sex and puberty, even if I later left her clutching her pearls over me actually having it at 16.
This book has been passed around in my family. There's also "Whats Happening to My Body?"
Just don't make it into a big deal - awkward.
Ahh, I thought it might have been this one: Where Did I Come From?
I remember reading that when I was little.
Funny story, got it back in a box of books my Mother dropped off with us last year. My son promptly snagged it at took it to school. THAT was a really fun conversation with the school administrators.
I remember reading this book as a kid and we are using the same one to teach our kids now :)
Where Did I Come From?
> she doesn't know how she got knocked up.
Oh! I know this one! My mom and dad just told me about this. Gave me a book and everything.