Reddit reviews Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation In Everyday Life
We found 14 Reddit comments about Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation In Everyday Life. Here are the top ones, ranked by their Reddit score.
It seems she used Mindfulness Meditation and Yoga according to her papers here: https://www.nmr.mgh.harvard.edu/~lazar/publications.html
And the best source I can recommend for the basics is 'Wherever You Go, There You Are' by Mr.Kabat-Zinn.
Good luck!
You will never make anywhere near a US salary anywhere outside the USA.
I came back a few years ago. Not only that, you might not even find a job outside the USA.
You also present them with visa and language problems.
You can look on JobServe for contracting roles in a lot of countries, but don't expect US rates.
Location will not change anything, in fact it is very difficult. Like they say, "Wherever you go, there you are."
You will be the same unhappy or happy person you are wherever you go - just without language skills to match your peers.
Fuck yes, meditation completely turned my life around since I started doing it last summer. Zero medication, high-paying salary (just got the job) and starting a family with my wife. Life is good.
This is a nice little summary of my adventures in self-improvement over the last year. It's long, but hopefully has some useful stuff for you guys:
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Like reality, it was messy. I was lucky enough to have ADHD co-morbid with depression. So much fun!
I tried the chemical + traditional psychotherapy route first. Learned a few things. Tried something like 5-6 anti-depressants as well as a few stimulants here and there for ADHD over the years. Lets just say that this was a dead-end for me, and an expensive/unpleasant one at that.
Probably the biggest single factor to start things off (at 26) was meeting my wife. Having an external motivator (something to give a fuck about) is more helpful for self-improvement than some people might realize. However, it will not fix your shit, I promise. I discovered the things that helped me while being with her, but she did not herself fix a goddamn thing ;).
But as to the specifics? I've covered a few of them in my other comments and I'll copy-pasta a few in here along with some new additions.
Meditation
I don't put this out there lightly. It's a discipline and requires effort. Daily. Yes, as daily as you can manage. A quote from this article from Time Magazine:
> One recent study found evidence that the daily practice of meditation thickened the parts of the brain's cerebral cortex responsible for decision making, attention and memory
Unless you're like my wife and already posess an absolutely phenominal memory/attention span, meditation is the skill you will use to work on all of the other skills you need to quit sucking at.
I just so happened to read a book on meditation from Audible. Then I looked up meddit's book list and read a few more.
I've been meditating almost daily since last year and life has improved massively in about a bajillion ways. If anyone is actually curious for the details, please ask!
Mental Voodoo
So, one of the interesting concepts I discovered during my research into meditation is the idea of "no-self" from the Buddhist tradition. That is direct knowledge from your own perspective that the "self" (e.g. ideas, feelings, memories) encoded in your evolved-ape mind is a fabrication. The notion of an eternal or detached "you" that is. I'm usually crap at explaining this part so please chime in if you suck less at it.
I gained a lot of knowledge regarding the subject, but the real trick was knowing the reality of it in a subjective sense. That is, to *really accept the reality of it. In writing, it probably sounds similar to accept a new belief system (philosophical, religious, whatever), but it's the exact opposite.
It is accepting the truth of things in the moment as they are happening, and then letting that truth go. If it's actually true, your opinions/thoughts/feelings on the subject don't really fucking matter in any objective sense. What is, is. What isn't, isn't. If "you" really exist, then letting go of that truth won't really affect anything in reality. Unless it does ;). But probably not.
Ciaran Healy has actually written something rather revolutionary on the subject called "One Song". It even has a falsifiable thesis! Science nerds know why this is important. Anyhow, it's long as fuck, but this guy pretty much nails the fundamental problem of human suffering and how to tackle it at the source. It was actually some of Cairan's earlier writing that helped me understand this shit in a very visceral sort of way.
In addition, there is an unaffiliated group that will actually help you question your assumptions until you "get" it. Doesn't seem to work for everyone, and not everyone needs it, but for those that do it's life-changing. They're called Liberation Unleashed. Really nice people.
Fitness and Nutrition
Now that you're a monk on par with the Buddha himself, it's time to pay attention to the shit in front of you. The most obvious place to start is to get yourself not feeling like dog shit. Comparing how I felt a year ago to today, it's pretty depressing to think about what "normal" was to me. It was not normal. It was just shitty.
So I started lifting because my wife enrolled in the The Reddit Body Transformation Fitness Challenge. I started reading /r/fitness and bodybuilding.com and all the goodies in between. I chose StrongLift's 5x5 (daily progression) to get started for the fitness challenge, and then transitioned to Wendler's 5/3/1 (monthly progression) about 6 months in because I'm 30 and this shit is hard. I also do cardio shit as well because I want to be less fat.
Once I started lifting, I started giving a shit about eating right because MAH GAINZ! I do even lift, and nutrition is large part of whether or not you actually make any progress. That means calorie/macro counting, getting the right supplements and eating quality food. This has the added benefit of making you feel FUCKING AWESOME MOST OF THE TIME. Not all of the time, but your new "normal" after doing this for awhile makes your old "feeling good" really sad in comparison.
Here are the essential (best bang for your buck) supplements that you are probably failing at getting enough of:
Also, pretty much all of the above supplements will improve symptoms of depression if you are deficient. Seriously!
Miscellaneous Thoughts - ADHD lol
So that's a fucking novel right there. Meditation, mental voodoo, actually taking care of yourself in real life (as opposed to mental masturbation) seem to be very effective at extracting people from depressed or otherwise shitty states of being. This is all still ongoing for me. I lift four days a week, make sure my nutrition is on-track and attempt to pay attention to what's in front of my face instead of obsessing about my thoughts/emotions ad-infinitum.
Sure, shit all still happens and I get thrown for a loop. I described "emotions" to my wife as being in a little boat on a big ocean getting tossed around. Emotions just happen for no goddamn reason in particular. BUT, they give you important information that you probably shouldn't ignore. Mediation is super-helpful for helping you learn which is which. Sometimes you just stay in your little boat and hold on for the ride, and do nothing else until the storm passes. Other times you need to row like crazy to get out of the way of that gigantic tanker coming your way.
Compulsive thinking is another thing meditation/voodoo helps. You start to realize that your thoughts ARE NOT YOU. "You" are simply awareness of the moment. Emotions and thoughts fill in your awareness, but you absolutely do not need to entertain all of them. When you sit and watch your breathing in meditation (at least at my level) thoughts are still very intrusive and take your attention away. But then you bring it back to the breathing. And bring it back. And bring it back. Eventually, you get good at it! Thoughts/feelings become less compelling and you can let the less helpful ones go.
I'm happy to answer in more detail if you have questions on any part of this folks. I've gleaned most of this from Reddit funny enough. It's nice to be in a position to give back.
Wherever You Go There You Are, by John Kabat-Zinn is a great book on the art of meditation. It helps you to be aware of yourself as you go through the day.
I totally understand your rant. I have been in the same situation hugs. I recommend this book http://www.amazon.com/Anxiety-Phobia-Workbook-Edmund-Bourne/dp/1572248912 and possibly a therapist who specializes in anxiety.
and this book: http://www.amazon.com/Wherever-You-There-Are-Mindfulness-ebook/dp/B0037B6QSY/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1394415608&sr=1-1&keywords=wherever+you+go+there+you+are
Also, it helped me to do something that actually made me happy. Its hard when you are sort of just going to school and working because you aren't really living in the present.
When I used to live in a warm climate near the beach...that really helped because it was somewhere I loved to go and loved to be and I actually felt fulfilled. I'm stuck in frozen college land right now and I can't wait until I graduate.
Jon Kabat-Zinn's "Wherever you go there you are" is also nice
http://www.amazon.com/Wherever-You-There-Are-Mindfulness-ebook/dp/B0037B6QSY/ref=pd_sim_kstore_2?ie=UTF8&refRID=0TSK2HQ0MDZ3N8GEGSV1
That is a part of the title of his book.
i've heard, wherever you go there you are...I think some dude wrote an esoteric book on meditation of the same name
Thank you so much!!!
I truly believe that at this specific time in my life, Austin is the perfect place for me to live and grow. But of course, I also realize that Wherever You Go, There You Are.
You bought the wrong book I think. Not even sure that one is meditation related. Here is the one I was thinking of
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Wherever-You-There-Are-Mindfulness-ebook/dp/B0037B6QSY/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
I hear you, I was on 'autopilot' until my mid 40's.
Books I liked:
Mediations
Quiet
Mindfulness
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Remember, society (including Reddit!) and family is what put you on your path. Become introspective and find your path, as it is defined by you!
That has been the best part of divorce, for me.
Wherever You Go, There You Are is a nice, short intro that doesn't get into any of that stuff you want to avoid.
It sounds like she might benefit more from Cognitive Therapy. Even though it's oriented more toward depression, the exercises in Feeling Good are easy to adapt to anxiety.
Too many comments to see if this has already been suggested, but this book on mindfulness was very helpful to me. I also think CBT will be helpful here, but her therapist probably already knows that. If the therapist isn't working I think you should switch to a different therapist. I went through 3 before I found someone I "clicked" with. Also, maybe show her the comments in this thread?
The Mind Illuminated by Culadasa
The Way of Zen by Alan Watts
Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind by Shunryu Suzuki
Wherever You Go, There You Are by Jon Kabat-Zinn