(Part 2) Best mental health books according to redditors
We found 1,096 Reddit comments discussing the best mental health books. We ranked the 300 resulting products by number of redditors who mentioned them. Here are the products ranked 21-40. You can also go back to the previous section.
Ok, I realize this going to against everything everyone is ever going to tell you, and my experience is a little different because our kids were planned, but I wish someone -anyone- had told me this 15 years ago. Yes, it is a lot of work. Yes, they're expensive. Yes, it changes your relationship with your SO. And the relationships with your friends. And your family. Hell, even your work relationships change. Here's the thing though. IT'S NOT AS BAD AS EVERYONE TRIES TO MAKE YOU BELIEVE. I would have had kids years ago I had known what it's really like.
The relationship with your SO? Talk about the big things now, before Little One is born, and make sure that you're both compromising, that both of your feelings and beliefs are going to be reflected in how you intend on raising them. How are you going to go about religion? How do you both feel about punishment, both what should be punished and how? Childcare? How often do you intend on going out with friends after baby's arrival? Are you comfortable with all your friends being around your kid (seriously, a lot of our friends turned out to be people who though we enjoyed their company, were absolutely not people we wanted around our daughters)? How about family members? How about food? How often is too often for burgers and fries, do they get soda before they're 10? Have these conversations now, before they're actually an issue, and revisit them often, because things change once you get into the swing of things. Know that there will be days where one of you is 'done', and be willing to be tagged into extra duties for those days. It's OK to get burnout, it doesn't make you -or her- a bad parent, and it's so much easier to deal with if there's two of you having each other's back.
They are work. Sleep sucks for those first couple months, and that old saying that everything takes longer with kids, hahahaha....you have no idea. But you're going to find out. And it'll be ok. They sleep a ton those first few months, the first week is terrifying, but after that the adjustment is gradual, and by the time they're awake for any amount of time, you'll have already forgotten about how things were before they came along. Even the worst colicky screaming babe grows out of it eventually, and becomes a normal lovely child, it's just a matter of waiting it out. Unless you're exclusively into extreme sports, you'll figure out how to include kiddo in your hobbies and past times. Sure they might change a bit, daylong hikes become family friendly hour long jaunts, grand strategy computer games become Monster Loves You, but the feeling you get when they enjoy something that you've made them a part of is just, indescribable. You're gonna be surprised how fulfilling a good game of peekaboo is.
And those expenses? There are going to be costs you can't avoid (helloooo childcare! Also, spring for a brand new crib and carseat), but for the most part, you don't have to sell the family cow to get by if you don't want to. Babies don't care if their clothes and toys came from Goodwill. Food banks have baby food, but really all you need is a blender, there's not really a reason they can't eat what you eat. Things might get tight sometimes, but you'll always have resources available to you, your kid isn't going to go hungry. And if you two can keep your chins up, and smiles on your faces, and not stress out, your kid will never know. You're both in school, by the time your kid is in social situations where they can compare their socioeconomic status to those around them you'll all be in a much better place. So don't sweat the small stuff.
You have more resources available to you than any parents ever before. Books, doctors on call, parent groups. Read the books together. A chapter or two every night laying in bed. /u/cedarhouse1377's advice was spot on. What To Expect When You're Expecting is a great read and easily digestible. What to Expect the First Year is also very good. Your Baby's First Year is dry, but very informative. Babycenter.com has answers to a lot of the questions you have for the next few years. When you feel yourself start to panic, don't discount the value of Dr.Google. The internet is always awake, and we're always here for you.
That's your kid. They're going to be ok. You and So are going to be ok. You're smart. You're capable. You got this.
Most of all, congratulations. It's worth it.
*Edited to give proper credit to /u/cedarhouse1377. Sorry I misspelled your username!
That’s ridiculous. I had an amazing vegan pregnancy and had not problems at all. It’s perfectly safe to be v eggar while pregnant, especially because we regularly avoid most of the foods that can be extremely dangerous for pregnant women.
Here are two resources I used while in pregnant.
https://www.amazon.com/Everything-Vegan-Pregnancy-Book-Lifestyle/dp/144052551X/ref=mp_s_a_1_6?keywords=vegan+pregnancy&qid=1569798429&s=gateway&sprefix=vegan+preg&sr=8-6
https://www.amazon.com/Vegan-Pregnancy-Survival-Sayward-Rebhal/dp/0980144035/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?keywords=vegan+pregnancy&qid=1569798525&s=gateway&sprefix=vegan+preg&sr=8-3
But doing a quick amazon search shows a lot more. Eat a varied diet, don’t overload on vegan junk food and you’ll be fine.
For the birth process, I found Penny Simkin's The Birth Partner incredibly helpful.
During the first year, I also got a lot out of Baby 411.
I think things have to change with malpractice insurance. It has to. We are losing MDs doing births at all because of this. Our cesarean rate is also rising - we are losing any resemblance to natural birth in the hospital. In fact, I hear the word "natural birth" to mean "vaginal birth".
Doctors are given lower malpractice premiums when they have higher cesarean rates. This is not acceptable!
We used to be shocked at Brazil's 95% cesarean rate. I think we're well on our way. In my community, 40% of first time moms have cesareans.
I hope that we can find inroads that are free from malpractice protocols that allow docs to collaborate with midwives for teaching, safety, and general empowerment of women. I see other countries doing it, but unfortunately, our healthcare and malpractice system does little to help this goal of mine. :(
Our maternal and infant mortality rates are dismal. And it's not because we're using less technology or interventions. It's because we're using more. I really recommend a book called Expecting Trouble: The Myth of Prenatal Care in America by Thomas Strong, MD. He's a third generation MD, second gen OB and he has some amazing insights. Mainly, leave high risk and surgical birth to OBs, turn all other care over to midwives for better outcomes...and look at technology more judiciously.
Other books I recommend are:
Born in the USA: How a Broken Maternity System Must Be Fixed to Put Women and Children First by Marsden Wagner, MD
Pushed: The Painful Truth About Childbirth and Modern Maternity Care by Jennifer Block
Birth: The Surprising History of How We Are Born by Tina Cassidy
Lying In: A History of Childbirth in America
Above all, I wish that more providers would see that the motherbaby is one unit. They are not antagonists towards each other. Less intervention is better and if we could move towards more evidence-based practices we might see better outcomes.
Again, it all boils down to allowing doctors to practice freely. We have to see malpractice reform.
For most women, it's simply a pH issue. Check out "Woman: An intimate geography." It can probably be helped only the slightest bit when he changes his diet (avoiding fruit and veg isn't good for anyone anyway).
When he's not cumming inside you, your vag, as you know, is a pretty clean, balanced place. Smells fine or has a clean, yogurt-ish tang. However, throw in that very alkaline cum and the whole system gets thrown out of whack. Unfortunately, that allows anaerobic bacteria to flourish.
From her book (I just happen to be reading it now).
> Distressingly the microbes make trimethylamine, which is the same substance that gives day-old fish its fishy odor. They make putrescine, a compound found in purifying meat. They make cadaverine, and I need not tell you from whence that chemical was named.
Your only real solution is to stop having sex regularly where he comes inside you. It will give your vagina a chance to reobtain it's homeostasis.
edited to add: Your vagina is normally fairly acidic, with a pH of 3.8 to 4.5, so it's more acidic than black coffee. His ejaculate is 7.2-8. Those are extremely different.
I don't know if you've come across this series, but I saw it recommended on here and really enjoyed it. The midwife in the video says basically there are two types of nerves, and if you're lucky enough to have one kind, you may not feel as much pain. Many women feel like they can't do it during transition, but they make it through! And some women that get epidurals don't experience relief from them.
Do you have someone attending your birth? If they know that during transition, you might feel this way, they can coach you through it and remind you that it's almost over. They can also use counter pressure on your back and hips to help drown out the nerve signals telling you there's pain.
Reading birthing stories in Ina May Gaskin's Guide to Childbirth and Spiritual Midwifery is what made me feel comfortable with a natural birth. I enjoyed the books much more than the movie, but there is a movie with some of these stories in it if you're not a big reader.
I bought the book The Impatient Woman's Guide to Getting Pregnant after seeing someone on this sub mention it and I'm actually enjoying it so far. I was reading it last night with some wine since AF slowed up and I like how it actually addresses the emotional tolls of this process without just being technical or medical. My husband says he likes the book already because I gave him a list of things we are going to change and he likes that I have a plan rather than just saying I feel hopeless and don't know what else to do. I know a lot of this is out of our control, but as an anxious person who likes to have a plan even having one or two new things to try or consider makes me feel less powerless. My temp drop shipped today too so I'm excited that I'll have more accurate data to use. This is the first time in a couple months of this process that I'm feeling more optimistic again so I'm hoping it lasts. My husband agreed to start a multivitamin too after discussing what I had read last night so I'm happy about that.
I was given a few but they were all crap.
I'd recommend "Baby 411"
https://www.amazon.com/Baby-411-Clear-Answers-Advice/dp/1889392596
it was super useful advice.
Pregnancy takes 9 months whether you have 1 kid in there or 5. Your post and comments make it sound like you think having twins makes the pregnancy take twice as long.
Maternity leave isn't to recover from being pregnant. It's to take care of the child and recover from giving birth. Her lady parts will be very sore, she will probably have a tear from her vagina to her butthole & will have stitches. It will be hard for her to poop. Child birth is the part that she needs to recover from, not from being pregnant.
Weather 2-3 months unpaid is long enough time is a whole other debate. But that's how plenty of other women do it. These should all be things you consider before getting pregnant.
It sounds like you have no idea how pregnancy or child birth works. I highly recommend you buy the book What to Expect When You're Expecting and start reading up ASAP.
Oh sweetie, I think this is something everyone thinks about, and I don't know if you ever really feel "ready" to have kids. I know that I didn't--but 2 healthy kiddos later, we figured it out. We wanted to wait until we both had jobs, had our living situation figured out, and had been married for at least a couple of years. We felt "ready" and we started to try. I was still terrified when I found out I was expecting. Only you and your partner can decide when you feel "ready", but realize that it will never be the perfect time to have kids. Also, as a woman, you do want to keep in mind that the older you get, the harder it might be to get pregnant. (Not for everyone, but statistically.) It's something to keep in mind as you plan.
If you feel like you might be almost ready, talk to your partner about it. Talk about your hesitations. Are they big giant roadblock? of just little speed bumps? Does he have any ideas on how to work through them with you? Are you scared about being pregnant? having the baby? caring for the baby? What are your (and his) concerns?
Once you feel like you have worked through your major concerns, maybe set a date to stop trying to prevent (you have been using something to not get pregnant, right? that's important too) or a date to start trying. We waited until after a big trip we had been planning. Then, keep talking. Share your fears with him. Talk through them together. Maybe do some research or learning. It helped me to read about what to expect. Some books that I enjoyed or found helpful were:
​
Pregnancy Related:
Babies:
​
If you like to read, maybe give one or two a shot. You can also check out /r/Parenting and/or /r/BabyBumps to see what real parents are saying. Try to find some local moms to talk to about their experience--they can be a good support group later too.
If you are a planner, do some checking on things that you might need to know about (daycare, pediatricians, etc) if that makes you feel better. Look at costs, locations, ratings, whatever you need to do to feel secure.
Realize that even if you decide you are "ready" you may still freak out a little bit once it happens. Having a baby is scary and life changing, but that's okay! You can do this! You are awesome!
Also, here's a little secret that no one talks about --no one knows what they are doing with raising kiddos, we all just fake it til we make it and muddle our way through the best we can. I still feel like I'm just pretending to be an grown up with kids.
I found your comment interesting because I remembered that I just read in The Impatient Woman’s Guide to Getting Pregnant, “One more thing to be cautious about putting in your mouth: ibuprofen painkillers such as Advil or Motrin, which many of us take without even thinking about it. Ibuprofen is an anti-inflammatory, and ovulation is an inflammatory process. So it’s not a good idea to take ibuprofen in the days before ovulation.” However, she also does recommend many foods consistent with a Mediterranean diet.
I really liked this book: The Baby Name Wizard, Revised 3rd Edition: A Magical Method for Finding the Perfect Name for Your Baby https://www.amazon.com/dp/0770436471/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_.xvMybKP5A34J
It gives some interesting ways to categorize names too. Like if there is a nickname you both like, it'll help you find a name for the shortened version. Or if you both like names that are similar (girlier, short and sweet etc) you can look through the list of other names like that.
https://www.amazon.ca/Baby-Name-Wizard-Revised-3rd/dp/0770436471/ref=pd_lpo_sbs_14_t_1/143-2650797-1059622?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=Y1P4W0R96QM7B6DSCH6V
My friend's, which I didn't steal...
I really liked preparing by reading Mindful Birthing. I didn't try out each practice, but the overall approach was key for me to get through labor without an epidural. One breath at a time!
Good luck to you!
My favourite is definitely Expecting Better, as the author looks at the actual scientific evidence behind most common pregnancy do's and don'ts.
I've also bought:
And I've just ordered a pile of books from the library:
With 18.5 million copies in print, "What to Expect When You’re Expecting" is read by 93% of women who read a pregnancy book . . .
https://www.amazon.com/What-Expect-When-Youre-Expecting/dp/0761187480/ref=zg_bs_4676_1?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=T16C49BSRFPCH5EQAYV7
I'd grab a good book. This one talks about a lot of considerations that you might not think to mention. It might even make you feel more comfortable with that process, but hopefully not too comfortable or you might lose the squeamishness that has the potential to make your story ring more true.
Well in "Woman: An Intimate Geography" Natalie Angier explains it that mammals traditionally had sex with the man entering from behind the woman ("doggy style", etc.) and so men associated the shape of women's buttocks with sex.
The idea is that women who had large breasts were more likely to have intercourse with men in face to face positions, because the men liked the look of breasts because they reminded them of buttocks. Having sex in face to face positions included more eye contact, which lead to more oxytocin release upon orgasm which lead to stronger pair bonding and love which created a more stable bond between parents and more involvement in children's lives from their father because he was so in love with the mother.
The other hypothesis Angier covers is that breasts are so aesthetically pleasing that women who had spare food or supplies were more likely to give it to the women with bigger breasts.
This sounds goofy, but it's still a really good book.
Congratulations! My wife is due in July, and we both have enjoyed reading: http://www.amazon.com/Expectant-Father-Advice-Dads-Be/dp/0789210797/ref=pd_bxgy_b_img_c
I worry about what it is going to be like being pregnant and vegan all the time, since I figure it's going to happen sooner than I think! So, I tend to remember some of the resources that I come across.
Disclaimer: I am not a nutritionist, doctor, or medical professional, so these are suggestions for further resources, not scholarly advice.
When you say your diet is "pretty simple," does that mean simple as in a lot of "whole" foods where most of the preparation is done at home? If this is the case, eating a varied, calorically-sufficient diet will do a lot of good--that "well-planned" diet thing. Of course, processed isn't necessarily a bad thing--remember that basics like fortified nondairy milk, tofu, and even seitan are "processed." However, each of these can still be healthy (especially because baked tofu, rice, and veggies is easy and healthy for those nights you/your wife won't want to cook).
As far as supplements, B12 is of course the big one. For a complete look at general vegan nutrition, and some discussion both of vegan pregnancy/raising vegan kids, take a look at Vegan for Life, which is an accessible but science-based look at how to manage macro and micronutrient consumption while being vegan (including a look at supplements.)
You may want to take omega-3, but consult your doctor; I think research is pretty clear these days that they're good for you, but YMMV, especially during pregnancy. Ovega-3 has both DHA and EPA from algae sources; the conversion rate of ALA omega-3s, found in plants, is pretty low and not well understood, so flaxseed oil (while great) is probably not going to suffice.
Colleen Patrick Goudreau discusses supplementation and makes some suggestions for resources.
Pocket reference! The Vegan Guide to Pregnancy is pretty well-reviewed, from what I know, and I hear it recommended. Also, poking around Amazon from there will help you find some additional references. Probably worth it to have a few books on hand, as well as the internet.
Other thoughts:
Good luck, and congratulations!
My OB recommended this prenatal - which I like -
Vitafusion Prenatal Gummy Vitamins, 90 Count (Packaging May Vary) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B003IP8BC8/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_jol2DbKQEYCDP
I also liked this book the first time I was pregnant -
https://www.amazon.com/Mayo-Clinic-Guide-Healthy-Pregnancy/dp/1893005607
Call an OB to schedule your first appointment - which may be 8 weeks out or so. Ask them if there is anything they recommend before your first appointment.
Oh hon, I feel you. This gets me because I felt the same way. I still do. I have a 19 month old toddler.
Start here: Parenting from the Inside Out.
This book will really help you decipher your family, and really give you hope and tools for not reproducing their problems onto your little beauty of a tiny awesome person.
It's pretty straightforward and incredibly useful.
Then read this and this. Yes read them while you're pregnant because again they will give you hope and insight.
Buy this book and start reading it now too. We call it the Baby Bible in our house.
It's a survival manual for the first year of their life. It has everything. I don't know how many times we've pulled it down and flipped to the index at 2:00 am. It's better than Google. It's fantastic. (That said, it has an angle like all parenting books, even though it tries not to. They are attachment parenting writers. Nothing wrong with attachment parenting per se, just an awareness all parenting books have angles, even the impartial ones.)
Also, if you're anything like me, avoid all the happy, glowing, blowing-stardust-and-glitter-up-your-ass, pregnancy books out there. These did nothing but enrage me. I'm talking about What to Expect and similar. Unless you like stardust and bullshit, avoid avoid avoid.
Basically if you go to a thrift store and there's 8 copies of the damn pregnancy or parenting book on the shelf, don't buy it.
Instead check out books like this and this and this.
Now I haven't read those exact books, unlike all my other recommendations above, all of which I've personally read as a scared, overwhelmed pregnant lady or new mom. But as long as you stay in the 'brutally honest' lane and away from the 'syrupy sweet, guilt laden, shame' lane, then you'll be fine.
Even in 2019 there's a mountain of mommy advice bullshit books out there. Keep your instincts and your wits about you, don't forget who you are. Stay strong. And work on yourself with books like Parenting from the Inside Out and the How to Talk books.
I read this book years ago and am now rereading it.
It's both very informative, very terrifying, and very awesome.
It explains in one of the early chapters basically what zeneparker said :)
https://www.amazon.com/Birth-Surprising-History-How-Born/dp/0802143245
Based on what I've seen on here, I think most of these questions are dependent on your provider, and are great things to ask during your phone call!
For me:
Oh, also this book helped me with confidence and how to handle criticism and made me feel less alone: https://www.amazon.com/Vegan-Pregnancy-Survival-Sayward-Rebhal/dp/0980144035
There is another book out there called The Everything Vegan Pregnancy Guide which gives more in depth info on the dietary stuff. I found it to be all stuff that I already knew but it's nice having that info all in one place for reference or to educate others.
On a general "what to expect" level, The Birth Partner has been tremendously helpful in prepping us in lieu of classes.
I don't know if this book has anything about inductions, but I read the first few chapters before I had to return it to the library and it gives a pretty comprehensive history of birth practices, so I imagine it would.
https://www.amazon.ca/Birth-Surprising-History-How-Born/dp/0802143245
WONDERFUL IDEA! I'm going to follow suit and do this too. If you've read any of Ina May's stuff (here and here), you'd probably jive with her way of referring to "contractions." She calls them "rushes." Which helps to disassociate yourself from all of the painful baggage that has been attached to the word.
I'm 17 weeks with my first, so I don't have personal experience to draw from yet - but I'm going for it with as much preparation as possible. I'm an over-preparer. :D
We're going with CNMs (certified nurse-midwives) at a birth center. Because it's an out-of-hospital birth with hospital transfer for emergencies, there's very few interventions available for normal births. Throughout even the first trimester they've heavily stressed preparation. Here are some things they've emphasized:
https://www.amazon.com/Baby-411-Clear-Answers-Advice/dp/1889392596/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?hasWorkingJavascript=1&keywords=baby+411&qid=1567196311&s=gateway&sr=8-1
We have this! Seems to have every answer 😁
I bought this one from Amazon and really like it!
As You Grow: A Modern Memory Book for Baby https://www.amazon.com/dp/194451547X/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_HeAqDbV1FEHQE
This book is small, but invaluable for it's support, hints, tips and recipe ideas. Tells you all the basics of getting what you and baby need.
Vegan Pregnancy Survival Guide https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/0980144035/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_4BfpDbHWKDV3V
I used it through my first pregnancy which was wholly vegan. Now have a wonderfully healthy 4 year old so don't let people put you off.
And Congratulations!!
I don't mean to be an asshole, but that book fucking sucked.
This book is much better :
http://www.amazon.com/Expectant-Father-Advice-Dads-Be/dp/0789210797/
Definitely Taking Charge of Your Fertility! There is a reason it's the #1 recommendation on all the TTC-related subs - it is comprehensive and will likely teach you so much you never knew about your own body, and learning about it is the best way to maximize the chances of conceiving quickly once you want to (and avoid doing so when you don't). My second book recommendation is The Impatient Woman's Guide to Getting Pregnant. It's more specifically about conceiving/pregnancy broadly than just how your body and cycles work, as TCOYF is. I particularly enjoyed its chapters on age in relation to fertility and on gender selection methods. The author is a PhD and it's full of studies and statistics, which I appreciate, but delivered in a conversational way.
For me, I think it makes sense to just take it one step at a time - there will be 9 months to read all about pregnancy progression and babies once I actually achieve pregnancy. So while I'm WTT, I'm really just interested in reading about the next step, which is fertility and TTC.
The Nursing Mother's Companion has been recommended to me by several people, though I haven't read it yet. I have been reading the AAP's New Mother's Guide to Breastfeeding, which is okay so far.
If you are talking about a baby book like a keepsake book, we have this one and really like it. book
I'm not sure if you just want to complain (which is totally valid) or if you want actual advice, since we've struggled with names, too. If you just want to complain, ignore the next paragraph.
It's really hard for either of us to just generate a list of names we like, so we bought a book of baby names. We bought a dresser for the nursery that took forever to assemble (drawers were unassembled), so while one of us assembled the other would read through the book, and any name I/he didn't hate, we said out loud to the other person. If the other person didn't hate it either, it went on a long list that had about 40-50 names. We then separately made lists of 10-15 names that we liked best from the long list, and finally made a shorter list of names that we both had on our individual lists. We still haven't settled on a name, but we have it down to two!
I liked this one Pregnancy for Dads
Doesn’t treat you like an idiot, has some humour.
Don't read the other replies. Most women, on Reddit or elsewhere, have only heard of the rhythm method, which is ineffective. Fertility Awareness Method, on the other hand, is very reliable. It does take a lot of learning at first, but once you get the hang of it, it's very easy and doesn't require much time at al, and contrary to the popular belief is highly effective. And it's so much more than just a way of avoiding pregnancy; not only does it make you more in tune with your body, it can tell you so much about your reproductive health in general, and some practical benefits - for example, you will know exactly when your period is going to come, even if it's irregular (and, no, you don't need a regular cycle to make use of FAM, that's another myth, due to confusion with the rhythm method). No more pregnancy scares. It can even serve as a pregnancy test, or indicate a miscarriage, as well as some common fertility issues.
If you want to try it, read Toni Weschler's "Taking Charge Of Your Fertility", it will explain everything you'll ever need to know about FAM (and about your menstrual cycle and fertility too.) It's extremely comprehensive. After you read it, you'll become more educated on your reproductive health than ~99% of women. It gets a bit dense at times, delves quite deeply into the biology of it all, but it's still easy enough to follow.
We've had a couple of scares already, made more poignant and terrifying after suffering a miscarriage earlier this year at the 7-week stage, but having made it through to 13 weeks now, we're feeling a lot more confident that everything's going to be ok.
This is our first child, so it's all new and exciting for us. I've already got a list of things to do to our flat, and will be getting my DIY hat on for the next few months. Plus actually buying a car, as we'll now need one of those (we live in London and don't currently have any use for one), as well as a million other things.
I've been reading my baby book (this one) religiously, and it's actually been a big help in figuring out that what she's going through isn't quite as unique as I had thought. Reading through various posts here, I'm glad to see that there's loads of us in the same boat too!
this is somewhat true, though in the days of twilight sleep they used very "high forceps" to pull babies out.
and with twilight sleep, you didn't really sleep. it was a combo of a heavy anesthetic with an amnesiac. essentially, women were strapped down because they would writhe and kick and sometimes hallucinate. if you received twilight sleep, you just never remembered.
here are a couple good looks at the history of childbirth:
http://www.amazon.com/Pushed-Painful-Childbirth-Modern-Maternity/dp/0738211664
http://www.amazon.com/Birth-Surprising-History-How-Born/dp/0802143245/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1348108086&sr=1-3&keywords=tina+cassidy
Reading this book honestly changed how I felt about GD entirely. It helped me really understand some good eating options, how to mix and match, and be confident in my ability to diet control. Is it a major bummer that I can't give in to every craving now (hello, milkshakes, french toast, and kids cereal)? yep. Do I love how I have been feeling (and looking!) since I've switched to the GD diet? absolutely. As others have said, I am looking forward to keeping control of my weight gain and hopefully having an easier time after LO is here losing it all again.
Good luck! You've got this!
My dad got me a Haynes workshop manual which I thought was pretty funny. It's got loads of good info in it too.
Exactly - I was going off the + OPK on CD15.
If you haven't yet, pick up a copy of Taking Charge Of Your Fertility and The Impatient Women's Guide to Getting Pregnant. They're both super helpful in understanding your cycle, and temping. (and quick / easy reads, particularly the latter)
Btw, I'd also recommend charting your CM.. Charting is all about getting multiple data points to try to pinpoint what's going on - the more data, the better!
I'm having a good time with Happiest Baby on the Block (though I think it's really slow and repetitive, and their "conclusions" (it isn't this, this, or this, so it MUST be this) are a bit, uh, presumptuous; I think the book is spot on for how to treat the baby, especially in the "4th trimester") and The Nursing Mother's Companion. And these aren't baby books, but my husband and I are also reading Ina May's Guide to Childbirth and The Birth Partner to prep for labor.
I have a few more books on my shelf to reference just in case, like Sears' The Baby Book: Everything You Need to Know About Your Baby from Birth to Age Two (but I am wary of anti-vacc notions of the book), Brain Rules for Baby, and for fun, Experimenting with Babies.
I found The Expectant Father to be a pretty good read. My wife has read "What to expect" but from my shoulder-surfing, it's more geared to women (including have somewhat insulting "For the Father" sidebars about what women should tell their husbands)
Instead of the normal fruit for sizes, it uses sports balls. It also does a lot of encouraging for the dad to be involved, and covers the "everyone is asking how she's feeling" and also covers stuff about sympathetic pregnancy.
The Expectant Father is awesome. My husband read and loved it for our first child and is now reading it again for our second. It's got everything you could imagine. Let's him know what is happening to me and the baby and why, then has all the things dads may worry about. There was even a financial section about planning for monetary issues. He swears it is the best.
I just ordered this book for my husband. It seemed practical and non-patronizing. A lot of the other dad books seem to be written by dumbass frat boys. I wanted something that would help him understand what's going to be happening without a lot of boob and fart jokes.
One of my wife's friends wrote this one...not a bad book, I suppose. Lots of good information about pregnancy, things that are good to know from the dad's perspective.
The one your wife is going to read, and you should also read, is the classic What to Expect book. That's sort of the "pregnancy bible", lots of really good information in there, most women read it.
Another one that I really got a lot out of is If Your Kid Eats This Book, Everything Will Be OK. That's written by an ER doctor who talks about how to tell the normal illnesses and maladies that aren't worrisome from the ones that you actually do need to be concerned about. It's saved my wife and I from a handful of ER/Doctor's Office visits.
The final one is the one I recommend over anything else. If you buy no other books/dvds, buy this one. It might save your life, sanity, and/or marriage:
The Happiest Baby On The Block
I'd recommend both the book and the DVD, but if you only get one, get the DVD. Hell, many libraries carry it.
Any and every parent I know who has watched it basically thanks Harvey Karp for making the first 3 months entirely bearable. It teaches you how to soothe a screaming infant, quickly and calmly...it makes for a happier child, and happier parents. Buy it, or rent it, or whatever...just make damned sure you see it before d-day.
Outside of that, a quality swing that plugs in (not one that runs on batteries...you will spend the difference in cost between the two on batteries) can be great. Our little girl, along with a few of our friends kids, all loved the Ocean Wonders one by Fisher Price...although for whatever reason, it seems to be ridiculously expensive on Amazon. I believe we paid 150 or 200 for it brand new. Worth every penny...cheap swings are just that: cheap. They aren't comfortable, they aren't well made, and they don't work for particularly picky infants (e.g. my daughter). I have a few friends who had more laid-back kids who have said that the cheaper swings work, so if money is tight that's something you might wait on until you meet the child:)
For most baby stuff, you get what you pay for. The stuff that works is going to be expensive because it works. I tell most of my friends that my experience is that you buy the best rated thing you can afford (just because it's expensive doesn't necessarily mean it's good, always find product reviews!).
Anyhow, through the pregnancy, the best thing you can do is just be interested and involved. Try to remember that your wife/partner might seem to lose her mind a few times, and it's mostly hormones...so let the crazy slide a little bit more than usual.
Other than that, just square yourself with the idea that your old life is done, and you now have a new one. Everything changes with kids, and the more OK you are with that, the better you will be as a dad. It's the best change you could ask for, and most dads will say that they wouldn't go back to the life of video games and nightly partying for anything in the world now that they are dads. It's worth giving all of that up a million times over. But don't fight it. Don't tell your wife that she can handle being home with her one-month old alone because you're stressed and need some time with your boys. Don't say that you can't get up in the middle of the night because you have an early tee time. Don't tell her that you shouldn't have to help clean up the kitchen because you worked all day.
That kind of stuff comes naturally to most guys, and I certainly hope it does for you. You find that when you just let the change envelop you, instead of trying to shoehorn your old lifestyle into your new life, things are easier and much more fun. The change is good, and it is inevitable. Fighting it just makes you, your wife, and your child miserable.
Was thinking of this one.
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Baby-Manual-Conception-Haynes-Workshop/dp/1844257592
Get the Vegan Pregnancy Survival Guide! I loved it!
Vegan Pregnancy Survival Guide https://www.amazon.com/dp/0980144035/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_dxGDAb12D9D0J
Your anthropology professor was regurgitating "evolutionary psychology," which is widespread folk-knowledge bullshit.
There's tons of great resources that show how the "Battle of the Sexes" narrative is misleading, but there's a really great one that tackles the evolutionary psychology theory in this book by Natalie Angier: https://www.amazon.com/Woman-Intimate-Geography-Natalie-Angier/dp/0385498411
(see chapter "Of Hoggamus and Hogwash" if you're interested).
Congrats!
Two books we got
The baby manual
and What to expect when your expecting
11-12 weeks is fine.
Lots of apps out there that track pregnancy and what you need to be doing.
Baby 411 is a great book with LOTS of info.
I was indecisive so got As You Grow - which looked like more keepsake book, The Baby Book - think this one is a bit more fun possibly (I really enjoyed the Belly Book), and Q&A a Day for Moms. The first and third book you can get at Target online and use the 15% off registry completion discount on them.
Woooooord. bodies are humbling annoying thing. I have been reading this book on mindful birthing to cope. She says pregnancy and labor really immerse one in "horticultural time" - when things unfold as they do, in contrast to our non-agrarian cultural emphasis of linear "clock time" (or something like that). It helps a little bit when i am in my grumbliest. https://www.amazon.com/Mindful-Birthing-Training-Childbirth-Beyond/dp/006196395X
This is referred to as FAM, the fertility awareness method. Daily temperature readings at the same time, when graphed, indicate a spike in temperature during ovulation, which is followed by consistent high temps. Pregnancy does not occur unless an egg is made available through ovulation, which is generally a 1-3 day window. The rest of the month is home free, though one should be careful leading up to predicted ovulation times. There's a great book on this called Taking Charge of Your Fertility, it's basically the Bible of FAM.
nah man, dont worry about it. breath, it will come, your daughter's energy will tell you. just don't let family influence you and your wife.
focus on the birth, everything else kind of falls into place.
if they have birthing classes there, go. try to get as prepared as possible. write the birth plan together even if it goes out the window.
my wife bought me this book. I quite enjoyed it.
ladies, please stop reading here.
for the men, birth is a real shitty, really worrying camping trip, take a ton snacks (both salty and sweet, things that are easy to eat) take drinks (lots of water and isotonics) .
scout the area, is there a place where you can go buy her fresh coffee, some pastry and other things she may like near by ?
prepare to be hot , cold , cramped and uncomfortable through the process.
but its about her(and the little her) remember that and it will all be worth it in the end.
good luck buddy.
Also, to clarify (since I was on my phone before) - I think the recommendations by diabetes professionals/educators (and most dieticians) are way above what is necessary. But if you do wind up with GD again you can expect to hear the same from them and should be ready to defend what you're doing.
From what I could tell the 175g minimum is arbitrary and based on a (faulty) assumption that basic human needs are 100g minimum + 75 for being pregnant. (see this book: https://www.amazon.com/Real-Food-Gestational-Diabetes-Conventional/dp/0986295000)
Hitting 150-160g per day has worked for me (typically with 50g of that being fiber) but if my numbers were high I'd restrict carbs further.
What I have seen is that people who have never done keto get cautioned by their doctors against going keto for the first time in the middle of a pregnancy. From your earlier comments I didn't understand that you'd been keto up until recently, and was also unsure if you were simply confusing keto diets for diabetic low carb diets - and those aren't the same at all. Keto definitely may be better for you (especially if it's worked for you in the past!) and lots of people swear by it even during pregnancy. I personally worry a little about keto's effect on organ development based on the study I linked, so I wouldn't lower my carbs to that degree even if my numbers were high, but many many people have great pregnancies and healthy babies using keto.
Sorry if my earlier comment sounded in any way dismissive of your background/experience with keto!
MY SO was given this as a joke present.... but its is SO USEFUL. I had no experience of newborns at all and this has helped us out in so many 'uhhh, say whaaat?' moments. http://www.amazon.co.uk/Baby-Manual-Conception-Haynes-Workshop/dp/1844257592/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1419702895&sr=8-1&keywords=haynes+manual+baby
I'm reading a book called ["Mindful Birthing"] (http://www.amazon.com/Mindful-Birthing-Training-Childbirth-Beyond/dp/006196395X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1418133918&sr=8-1&keywords=mindful+birthing). It is helping me a lot. If you are open to mindfulness techniques, I think it could really help you.
Your body needs nutrients, not “meat” or “dairy”! That’s very bizarre and very behind the times on those nutritionists, how annoying.
I’m vegan at 4 months, no problems whatsoever so far. My midwife basically asked me right off the bat at 8 weeks how much calcium and protein I’m getting and then said “you’re obviously doing great and have a very good handle on everything, there’s nothing to worry about here.”
My first recommendation is to try plugging what you eat into Cronometer to see how you’re already doing. Just do a typical day, or better yet log for a week to see how you do on average over several days. This was how I knew what to tell my midwife and how I know what gaps to watch for (eg, I don’t always get a ton of potassium, which is common for Americans but like who even knows that?).
If you google “vegan pregnancy” a few books come up, available on amazon - I haven’t checked any out myself because I’ve heard they’re mostly pretty introductory, but I’m sure they can help with some of the initial planning and everything. I’ve heard good things specifically about The Vegan Pregnancy Survival Guide. I know I’ve seen some blog recommendations around too, hopefully someone else has some good ones to add but I’ll hunt around bc I really should have checked them out by now myself too!
For supplements just like as a general idea, I personally take Ritual prenatals (that’s my referral code FYI for a discount just in case but can totally just take off the share part too) with a vegan vitamin C gummy (to aid iron absorption) and vegan probiotics in the morning. At night I take choline and vegan DHA/EPA, and a TUMS for calcium if I didn’t have enough broccoli and spinach during the day (the Ritual prenatal doesn’t have calcium because it interferes with iron absorption, and it doesn’t really have enough choline or EPA). That’s like very specific to me wanting to micromanage what I take because full multivitamins make me super nauseous, there are plenty of vegan full spectrum prenatals that would be way cheaper and easier 🤣
Just to add a different opinion. You can do other tests beside the glucose drink. If you are still in your first trimester you can do an A1c test (a proxy for average blood sugar over the past 3 months). But since blood sugar and insulin resistance change so much during pregnancy you can't do it past the first trimester. You can also opt to do at home blood sugar monitoring if you are comfortable pricking your fingers and have the discipline to stay on top of testing. This blog (by a registered dietitian and autor of a great gestational diabetes book has great info about the glucose test here and here. She also had a good post of GD myths.
Edit: I 100% think you should get tested...via the glucose drink or other method. I just think women are often forced into the glucose drink screening even when it isn't the best method for them (ex. if they are low carb or keto) and deserve to be told about other options if they aren't comfortable with the glucose drink.
In addition to hypnobirthing, perhaps also read into mindful birthing - I am reading this right now and I think I like it better than hypno...
http://www.amazon.com/Mindful-Birthing-Training-Childbirth-Beyond/dp/006196395X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1452619540&sr=8-1&keywords=mindful+birthing
edit - did not take a hypno class, just read the book*
>the inherent nature of nurturing in women and protectiveness in men
Ew also I want to vomit because of views like this. Pop psuedo evolutionary psychology is my largest pet peeve. Go read some critiques of the sexism in evolutionary psychology and the challenging theories that get ignored. I recommend Woman: An Intimate Geography as a good starter.
For books, I've been enjoying:
I have not enjoyed The Expectant Father, because I feel it goes into too many details about what can go wrong, and frankly, I don't want to read that unless I need to.
The first three listed books are light hearted and easy to read, and provide lots of useful information.
The best tip I can offer, which I got out of one of the books is to write your wife a note every week. I write a couple paragraphs talking about how the last week went for us, and then talk about the little things she does for me that will make her a great mom (such as making me coffee in the the morning even though she doesn't drink it). Yes, I realize she won't make coffee for the baby, but she will do things for him/her even if she doesn't like it, to make them happy.
Find out what foods you need to avoid while pregnant (including how much caffeine is safe, what herbal teas are off limits, and which fish have high levels of mercury), and what drugs you should not be taking (e.g. ibuprofen is typically not baby friendly). There are different schools of thought around all of this and a lot more.
As far as books, "What to Expect When You're Expecting" is a best seller and not a bad place to start. https://www.amazon.com/What-Expect-When-Youre-Expecting/dp/0761187480/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1525410573&sr=8-2&keywords=maternity+book
Once you get to the buying stuff stage the book "Baby Bargains" is pretty good. https://www.amazon.com/Baby-Bargains-Secrets-Saving-strollers/dp/188939257X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1525410646&sr=8-1&keywords=baby+bargains+book+2018
If you're totally lost, you can always reach out and connect with a Doula (even early in pregnancy) - though this can be pricey. Doulas have a wealth of knowledge. The hospital that you will deliver at also probably has resources and links set up on their website.
Oh, and this book helped a lot! http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1558327207?pc_redir=1395275083&robot_redir=1
https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1558328807/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1519765721&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=the+birth+partner&dpPl=1&dpID=51b4Sezn8YL&ref=plSrch
This book is about natural labor and delivery. It's technically geared toward those who will be helping you through labor, but it's fantastic for mother's too! I truly feel this book helped me through my natural labor. It gave great ideas for coping mechanisms as well as an in-depth walk through of the stages of labor and what to expect in each. I highly highly recommend if you're planning natural birth!
I really like Oxford's A Dictionary of First Names. It's mostly a list, like your standard book, but with better research and helpful lists of variants, plus a bit of info on different name categories and trends with the history behind them.
Laura Wattenberg is one of my favourite more casual, commercial baby name writers. She focuses primarily on the cultural aspect and I find her book "The Baby Name Wizard" is more insightful than most. It's very cognizant of trends but not too judgey. However it's very much a theme/style-grouping kind of book. I like that it shows popularity charts for each of the names.
Neither of these is great for OP's purposes but I figure I'll throw it out there in case it's useful to someone else.
Much better resource, IMO:
The Nursing Mother's Companion, 6th Edition: 25th Anniversary Edit... http://amzn.com/1558327207
A friend got me the nursing mother's companion book for my shower and I referred to it frequently in the early days. If you know her size, nursing bras and tank tops come in pretty universal styles and I found I didn't have enough of those beforehand. Burlington coat factory surprisingly had a nice selection. Also nursing pads, lanolin, burp cloths, a nursing cover, a boppy or i preferred the my breast friend pillow . If she will be pumping, breast milk storage bags, a pumping bra. I used my pumping time to keep up with my 'happiness project one line a day journal,' which would be a nice gift for anyone. I snacked on a lot of breakfast/granola/trail mix bars in those days. Any quick and easy healthful snacks would be good. Drinks too - gotta stay hydrated!
Oh and don't forget we have to keep taking prenatals for as long as we breastfeed, so a bottle or two of prenatal vitamins would be wonderful!
Here's a dissertation on the topic of unassisted childbirths: http://ir.uiowa.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1387&context=etd
The estimate is 5,000 in North America per year. There are many valid reasons to consider it. My wife did not feel respected at all in her first labor. So we are planning for an unassisted (home) childbirth for our child on the way. She feels safer birthing at home than at the hospital. We much better prepared this time around, read books (Labor Progress Handbook, Husband-Coached Childbirth, Spiritual Midwifery, and Guide to Childbirth), and taking a Bradley Method course.
If someone is courageous/desperate/traumatized enough to consider unassisted home birth and share such with you, your conversation with her will likely be more productive by starting with finding out her reasons. This will likely help you meet her where she is. Feel free to post back about how the conversation evolves.
Along with the basics, I recommend getting the book Baby 411. As a new mom, this book helped immensely. It explains every common physical ailment and quirk infants have and is designed to be searchable. The index is by symptom and very easy to use. Every time I wondered whether I should take my son to the doctor, it covered the symptoms and whether or when I should seek medical attention. For run of the mill issues, it said what to do. It's my go to baby shower gift, along with 3-6 mo clothes.
Baby 411: Clear Answers & Smart Advice for Your Baby's First Year https://www.amazon.com/dp/1889392596/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_VjysDbET35BSF
Oh, also read anything and everything you can written by Ina May Gaskin, but especially Spiritual Midwifery.
"Doing It At Home" is going to be a great Podcast for you and your husband, since it's a husband & wife team and the podcast includes a lot of information about the Dad's perspective, too!
Here is a link to "Taking Back Birth" as well, since I didn't add one earlier.
I don't think that HomeBirth is the right choice for everyone, and I would never attempt to convince someone that they should do it. However, I also believe that the right to CHOOSE where and how a Momma delivers is a fundamental right.
A lot of the reasons why people advocate for hospital birth is because they're scared about what can go wrong - and for high-risk Mommas those fears may absolutely be warranted - however, for low-risk Mommas, that very fear is the thing which may cause complications in the first place. There is evidence that shows that Mommas who feel comfortable and empowered in their birth choices have easier labors, less complications, and when issues do arise, they feel more satisfied with the outcome than Mommas who are informed about what is happening to them and have little choice in the situation.
The most important thing to remember about homebirth is that while some people think it is "irresponsible," in truth, YOU as the Momma are the one who is taking the responsibility of the birth outcome onto your own shoulders. It is your responsibility to educate yourself, understand your choices, and make the decisions that are right for you and your family. It is really the most responsible way to birth in the sense that YOU own the responsibility. You're not handing the responsibility off to a Dr, or even your Midwife. If you decide you want to transfer to hospital for an epidural, you can! A Midwife is there to assist you in your journey, not call the shots. They are there to handle the medical side of things, which they have been adequately trained to do. And in the vein of being responsible, it is your choice how you respond to people's reactions. YOU are in charge of your birth. YOU are the one who gets to set the tone for people's responses. If YOU are grounded in your decision, you can come to a place of understanding - if not necessarily agreement - with those who stand in a different place than you. This is your life, and your journey into Motherhood. This is the first opportunity of many in which you get to act as MOTHER and rise into a place of empowered self authority.
But again, educate yourself. So that when people throw those fear questions to you, "What if..." you KNOW the what if. Understand what risk factors are required for transfer. Understand what steps are taken when X, Y, or Z scenario occurs. Knowledge combats fear. Knowledge is empowerment.
You are going to be an excellent Momma, and I wish you a beautiful and empowered birth experience, and a beautiful healthy baby <3
P.S. sorry for the wall of text!
I recommend this book:
http://www.amazon.com/Dads-Pregnant-Too-Expectant-expectant/dp/1402211333
I totally feel you about the frat boy books. I bought my husband "Dad's Pregnant too!" [Amazon] (http://www.amazon.com/Dads-Pregnant-Too-Expectant-expectant/dp/1402211333) and he really enjoyed it.
Hi - I thought I should suggest adding my book favourites, as people keep asking about books and my top 2 aren't on the wiki:
Bumpology by Linda Geddes - similar to "Expecting Better", this is more research-based advice on pregnancy, from a New Scientist journalist
Pregnancy for Men - the whole nine months, by Mark Woods - an amusing without being blokey book on pregnancy for husbands and partners
Sorry for the UK amazon links!
I'd been worrying about this, too! I picked up this book, The Nursing Mother's Companion, and it's really answered a lot of my questions so far. (I know nothing about breastfeeding either)
We have this one that we LOVE. It’s great because it’s gender neutral and even works for same-sex parents (like my wife and I). I’ve found it pretty easy to keep up with because I love writing in it.
I've read the Mayo Clinic Guide and I really liked it. Tons of information, week-by-week info, and you can trust the source.
I'm currently starting Expecting Better by Emily Oster, and I honestly can't say I'm impressed right now. I just finished the alcohol section, and while I get what she's saying that you shouldn't be freaked if you have a drink or so, I find her conclusions somewhat dangerous in general. After college, I worked in a drug and alcohol program performing research (this wasn't a rehab program--most people were in their 20s-30s and drank socially), and most people do not realize how much they drink when they drink (either by day or by week). They were often shocked to realize how much they actually drink. It's very easy for most people to overdo it. I don't care that she finds the abstinence recommendation offensive and thinks that "pregnant women can think for themselves." That's great. We can. But most people have a hard time judging exactly when a drink is a drink, and it's better in general to just say "hey, keep out of it." End rant.
I also have Ina May's Guide to Childbirth in my closet. It was gifted to me after my cousin gave birth to her second and final (along with two full bags of maternity clothes) 😱 I believe that batch also came with What to Expect, a baby name book, and I think maybe one other. I'll get to these eventually!
I am thinking about reading Mindful Birthing for the reasons you mentioned. It's one of the only things I've found that is meditation meant for birth that is not hypnobirthing-related.
Also, a 75% c-section rate is unlike anything I've ever heard! Holy cow.
As far as google searching goes, try to stick to medical journals or reputable studies. Otherwise, you're gonna get so much conflicting information it'll make your head spin. There are a number of books available, as well - two of the favorites around here are the following (linking on Amazon in case you're interested):
I really liked The Impatient Woman's Guide to Getting Pregnant when we were trying to conceive and then the Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy once I was pregnant
First of all, congrats!
Some links for you:
https://www.amazon.com/Expecting-Better-Conventional-Pregnancy-Wrong/dp/0143125702
https://www.amazon.com/What-Expect-When-Youre-Expecting-ebook/dp/B01DCHZE3A/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&amp;ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1500708061&amp;sr=1-1&amp;keywords=what+to+expect+when+you%27re+expecting
https://www.amazon.com/Be-Prepared-Practical-Handbook-Dads-ebook/dp/B000SEKFZI/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1500708024&amp;sr=8-1&amp;keywords=be+prepared
https://www.amazon.com/What-Expect-First-Heidi-Murkoff-ebook/dp/B00KVRDACW/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&amp;ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1500708115&amp;sr=1-1&amp;keywords=what+to+expect+the+first+year
Read the birth partner (https://smile.amazon.com/dp/1558328807/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_t1_wRVNBb7PCPJG3) and be a calm presence.
Feed the shouty end.
Wipe the shitty end.
If they are crying, repeat the above.
And buy this
https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1844257592/ref=cm_sw_r_other_apa_W-Jczb2AR97E4
This sounds like normal pregnancy to me. First tri in particular has a lot of symptoms.
Set up your doctor's appointment with an OB. They will do an ultrasound to confirm that a) there is a baby in there, and b) that it's not an ectopic pregnancy. They will also provide you with information and help you set up your next appointment.
Switch your vitamins to a prenatal that contains folic acid. It will ensure that you are getting the right amounts of everything your body needs now. If you don't usually eat much fish, then you may want to consider one with DHA. Mine are a two pill combo; one with DHA and one is the regular prenatal vitamin.
Get a pregnancy/baby book from the store or the library. It will answer a lot of the questions you've been asking and reassure you about what's normal. I recommend the Mayo Clinic book because it gives a lot of great information without fearmongering.
As for diet, don't skip meals and make sure you are drinking a LOT of water throughout the day.
Here is a list of foods you should avoid during pregnancy. It's from the American Pregnancy Association.
As for what your SO said about waiting to tell, it's pretty common to wait because of the risk of miscarriage early in pregnancy, but it's really up to you. We told our parents right after our first appointment when the doctor confirmed that the pregnancy was viable. Your decision.
Welcome! We have a bunch of info on the sub, if you want to check out the sidebar. Please feel free to pop into the daily chats -- I think it's a lot of acronyms and stuff at first, but everybody's new at some point, and you pick it up pretty quickly.
If you're interested in doing some pre-IUD-removal reading, I would suggest Taking Charge of Your Fertility (long but definitive) or The Impatient Woman's Guide to Getting Pregnant (shorter).
I enjoyed Dad's Pregnant too.
Dad's Pregnant Too
It has a bunch of funny quips and storys about being a father. Looking
back it really helped me relax and understand that you don't have to prefect to be a good dad.
Good, WTE sucks anyway.
Our body, ourselves the pregnancy edition is really good.
http://www.amazon.com/Our-Bodies-Ourselves-Pregnancy-Birth/dp/B001IV5W80/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1334665215&amp;sr=8-1
The Birth book
http://www.amazon.com/The-Birth-Book-Everything-Satisfying/dp/0316779075/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&amp;ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1334665234&amp;sr=1-1
I haven't read Ina May's books, but they should be pretty interesting (especially if you're interested in a more natural approach).
This is not a birth book per se, but it has amazing information. It may be better to wait until after delivery, though:
http://www.amazon.com/Birth-The-Surprising-History-Born/dp/0802143245/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&amp;ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1334665328&amp;sr=1-1
http://www.amazon.com/Pregnancy-Men-Mark-Woods/dp/190541062X/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&amp;ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1334264131&amp;sr=1-3
My boyfriend loves this book!
When we got married, my wife was directed to this book: Taking Charge of Your Fertility.
It takes some effort, but the payoff is that you don't have to use a condom every time.
A great guide a relative got us was Baby 411. This will answer just about any questions you have. I also recommend The Wonder Weeks app. I received the advice about it on this, or similar, subreddit. Everyone said it was very accurate as to when babies have leaps in development and therefore more fussy than usual. I can attest so far that it has been really accurate and will give you a lot of great information about what's happening to your baby in real time. It costs a whopping $3 on the app store. It tracks your baby based on the due date, not birthday, since development of a baby in and out of the womb is the same.
&#x200B;
My understanding is you don't need to have the volume very low. Babies can't hear for shit yet at that age. We also have a 5 week old so we are in the exact same position as you. If you want to test it turn a "Shhhh" or white noise sound on really high and see how they react (relaxation). Slowly turn it down until they stop reacting. You will see just how much your baby can really hear. We had a photographer come over a couple weeks ago and the white noise she had going would've woken up neighbors. The baby stayed in a very deep sleep the whole time. Beyond that how do you think people with multiple kids do it if there needs to be a quiet house all the time because that is not the case. Turn the volume to normal and you will be fine.
https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1558328807/ref=mp_s_a_1_1/131-7515100-3860509?ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1522309876&amp;sr=8-1&amp;pi=AC_SX236_SY340_QL65&amp;keywords=the+birth+partner&amp;dpPl=1&amp;dpID=51b4Sezn8YL&amp;ref=plSrch
They don't come with one but you can get one: http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/1844257592
The Houghton-Mifflin blurb compares it to Natalie Angier's "Woman", but your critique tells me enough to know that Angier's book is far better in its coverage of its own topic.
She is a good writer, and her book, while dated, is still worth reading.
I think you handled the situation quite well!
Condoms are a pretty reliable method. They're not as effective as hormonal contraception, but if you use spermicide and plan b as backup you should be fine!
A lot of people will push you to consider starting the pill. The pill is a good birth control choice, but it does have side effects. It is not a magical pill where nothing bad can happen -- of course you know this, but I wanted to talk about some of those side effects. The pill can cause you to have serious emotional mood swings, make you depressed, throw off your sex drive to the point you don't even desire sex (which may continue, even after you stopped the pill), give you an increased chance of stroke, flare up acne, cause weight gain, cause hair loss -- basically it really has the potential to mess with your health.
Not all women have bad side effects, but most women do have a few of these as a result.
You really need to consider if the side effects are worth that extra couple percentages of effectiveness.
Of course there is the copper IUD -- which uses no hormones, but is not the most fun thing to have inserted.
If you are worried about getting pregnant, but want to continue with condom usage, I would recommend ensuring you always have new condoms on hand. Keep them in a dry, neutral temperature at all times. Possibly have a plan b on hand, in case of emergencies.
I would also suggest that you read Taking Charge of Your Fertility so that you can better understand your cycle, and work to avoid having sex on your most fertile days.
Lastly, you should have a discussion with your boyfriend about what you would do if you did have an unexpected pregnancy. It's important to have that on the table before the issue arises. If you are both comfortable with termination, it's not the worst idea ever to have some money saved for that just in case. The procedure is often expensive ($500-800+) and you really don't want finances to be the ultimate deciding factor forcing you into a situation.
I hope this helps.
Never saw the cover of Woman: An Intimate Geography, I take it?
(And, yes, that is an affiliate link. Google it yourself, if you'd rather.)
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Pregnancy-Men-whole-nine-months/dp/190541062X
My husband and I really enjoyed this when pregnant with #1 and have bought it for lots of expecting couples since! It's funny in places but has a lot of excellent information and is broken down into months, he used to read it out loud to me at the start of each month. It only really covers pregnancy (and maybe when you come home from hospital) so you'd need a different book for baby rearing
http://www.amazon.com/Dads-Pregnant-Too-Expectant-expectant/dp/1402211333
I highly recommend it.