(Part 2) Best dating books according to redditors

Jump to the top 20

We found 1,391 Reddit comments discussing the best dating books. We ranked the 252 resulting products by number of redditors who mentioned them. Here are the products ranked 21-40. You can also go back to the previous section.

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Top Reddit comments about Dating:

u/Niekisch · 42 pointsr/CringeAnarchy

I wish you bullies would leave Tariq alone. His video on the Art of Mackin' - along with his best-selling book, available now on Amazon for only $15.95!! - have proven invaluable in my quest to woo a fair m'lady.

Who cares if he's a paranoid, race-baiting mental case who sees white supremacists behind every blade of grass? By using Tariq's tried and proven methods of mackin', men are guaranteed to increase their player ratio by at least fifty percent (50%)!!!

u/[deleted] · 28 pointsr/seduction

I am obsessed. Here is my current collection:

Most of these you can find on thepiratebay / etc, but I own a hard copy of all of these except for The Mystery Method, which I read probably 5 times before I found Magic Bullets (actually don't own that either, just the pdf). I'll add to this list if I think of more.

Must Reads:

Magic Bullets - Savoy ==>> [Torrent] it's expensive!

  • This book is so excellent. It's like a PUA encyclopedia. It walks you through the process, and cites every major text along the way.. none of this "my way works best" crap, but not afraid to make judgments either. For pickup books that employ some form of the M3 Model (however loosely.. which I think means: everyone except Ross Jeffries), this is the authoritative text. If you have an approach that is proven, important, and credible, then it is probably cited in this book.

    Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion - Robert Cialdini

  • I got this book because it is #1 on this list. Turns out, it is the modern version of Dale Carnegie's How To Win Friends and Influence People (see review below).. only this time, it's by someone who knows a thing or two about applied psychology (which either didn't exist back then, or was too under-developed to matter). This guy freaking went undercover as a used car salesman, working with fundraisers, etc. Interestingly enough, I bought this book in the same order as The Game, and in chapter 1 Strauss mentions reading Cialdini's book to prepare for a trip to Belgrade with Mystery, which was his formal introduction into the PUA community.

    The Art of Seduction - Robert Greene

  • I'm not done with this one yet, but I will say this: if you have a conscience, don't read this. It really is a fascinating study of seduction, but it does focus on seduction as a tool to victimize people.. That said, unlike your typical pick-up type book which does not bother to categorize gamers' personality types, this book categorizes different "types" of seducers. This is extremely helpful because you can figure out what type of seducer fits you best, and what things you need to focus on to improve your game.

    How to Win Friends & Influence People - Dale Carnegie

  • This book has sold over 15 million copies. It was originally written in 1937, but has been revised once or twice since it became the best selling self-help type book of all time, which it probably still is. He walks you through the basic principles of how to motivate people.. what works, what doesn't.. etc. Fun, easy, captivating read. It looks thick, but I think I unintentionally read it cover to cover in one sitting the first time I read it in college.. so it's a quick read.


    Should reads:

    The Game - Neil Strauss

  • I think this is one of the best selling pick-up type books. I liked reading it, but it was less of a tutorial book and more of an autobiography.. it does get the job done though. It also is a very entertaining read, and if you doubt that PUA stuff actually works, this will prove to you otherwise because Strauss was a very timid and ugly mofo, but he fucked Jenna Jameson.

    The Mystery Method : How to Get Beautiful Women Into Bed - Mystery, Chris Odom, Neil Strauss

  • This introduced me into the world of PUA my senior year of college when I inadvertently stumbled upon a torrent of it (I was probably looking for something to jerk off to. How poetic). I downloaded it just to skim through it skeptically, but this book eventually introduced me to a whole new world. This is an excellent staple / beginner's text, even though I now recommend Magic Bullets because it is so much more objective and inclusive of alternate styles and approaches along the way.

    How to Get the Women You Desire into Bed - Ross Jeffries

  • Not done with this yet, but Ross Jeffries is a freak (not meant to be insulting to him). I have no doubt that his methods are effective, but they are very different. And he really seems a bit evil, as opposed to merely mischievous like most other PUAs are. I haven't decided how incompatible, if not just different, his methods are with the Mystery / Strauss crowd.. but then again, I have never field tested any of his methods myself.

    Truth in Comedy: The Manual of Improvisation - Charna Halpern, Del Close, Kim Johnson

  • A close friend of mine who studied improv in New York lent me this, and I forgot about it until recently -- but it is a very short but brilliant book about comedy. I'm listening now to David DeAngelo's Cock Comedy series, and I realized that almost everything he's saying is straight out of this little text. It's not really something essential for pick-up, which is why I wouldn't put it in Must Reads, but it is excellent nonetheless.


    Meh, they're alright:

    The Pickup Artist: The New and Improved Art of Seduction - Mystery, Neil Strauss

  • You can definitely get some good stuff out of this book, but the whole thing comes across as an excuse for Mystery to brag about how awesome he is. He seriously spends an entire chapter (maybe more) telling a story about him bragging to other PUAs. He does deserve it though, the man is the single most influential PUA ever, if not the most successful in the field.

    Rules of the Game - Neil Strauss

  • This is one of those books that you read once a day for 30 days, and write down statements of intent right in the book like "it is my goal to lose my virginity before my next birthday in 3 months." Probably good for beginners, but I skimmed through this after having been gaming in the field for several months.

    Haven't read yet:

    What Every BODY is Saying: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Speed-Reading People - Joe Navarro, Marvin Karlins

  • This looks really good.

    NLP: The New Technology of Achievement - NLP Comprehensive

    Easy Mind-Reading Tricks - Robert Mandelberg, Ferruccio Sardella

    Palm Reading for Beginners: Find Your Future in the Palm of Your Hand (For Beginners (Llewellyn's)) - Richard Webster

    There are also some good videos out there (links are to torrents. these are all several hundred $$):


    Excellent Videos

    The Annihilation Method - Neil Strauss

  • I met a guy who said he was looking around his apartment for things to sell so he could afford the $375 this costs. apparently he didn't think to check thepiratebay ;)

    Mystery and Style

  • The videos of Mystery in here are just excellent. It's very interesting to see Mystery actually interacting with other people (not in a set), since he is the god of pick-up.

    Decent Videos

    Psychic Influence - Ross Jeffries

  • This is interesting.. I'm not much of a Jeffries guy though, mostly because he's the most oddball of the group, and I haven't studied his material enough.
u/79trombones · 18 pointsr/seduction

“Confidently, unapologetically and assertively show your honest intent to a woman while simultaneously remaining outcome independent.”

The above theory clearly defines in one statement why some men are successful with women while others fail. While it may seem simple on the surface, on a deeper level this statement encompasses all the previous principles mentioned thus far. Without a thorough understanding of the previous chapters, this theory can easily be wrongly interpreted and erroneously applied. The theory can be broken down into its two parts: showing honest intent and being outcome independent.

Honesty has been a staple principle throughout this entire book. When being truly honest, your conduct is fully congruent and consistent; ergo your thoughts, words and actions are continuously aligned. Showing honest intent is synonymous with acting in a man to woman frame. Men who try to hide their interest or are ashamed of their desires are acting dishonestly. By acting like a friend, these men only ever become a woman’s friend. Every time you spend time with a woman that you like and hide your interest, you are actively lying to her. Dishonesty tells a woman that you are either faking who you are in order to hide your inadequacies or are trying to manipulate her into liking you. These behaviors stem from an internal belief that you are not good enough as you are.

Being honest extends well past your interactions with woman and into how you choose to live your life. While it is important to be honest with others, it is also critical that you are honest with yourself. Perhaps by now you have realized that the same core beliefs it takes to be successful with women mirror those needed to be successful in life. All the attractive traits and behaviors mentioned in this book are beneficial to you regardless of your interest in attracting women. Your attractiveness to women comes as a consequence of improving yourself as a man. You become an attractive man by living a life of authenticity and integrity. You become authentic when you are pursuing your purpose, and living your life in accordance to what you value. Even if you lack what others would define as “success,” you keep your integrity by knowing that you are acting true to yourself. This is the deepest form of honesty. You accept yourself as you are. You do not lie to yourself to protect your ego. You work at becoming who you want to be, not what others have determined as being worthy of praise, love or approval. Fulfillment, confidence and self-respect come from living a life that is in line with your values. When you show how much you value and respect yourself, you gain the admiration of others. Lead a life that you are proud of, and thus a woman who shares your values would be proud to join.

Being outcome independent means that no matter the response a woman has to your advances, the outcome does not affect how you feel about yourself. By remaining completely secure through temporary “rejections,” you show the highly attractive traits of confidence and lack of neediness. As one pulls themself out of scarcity and into abundance, one naturally becomes more outcome independent.

Outcome independence stems from believing that you are enough as you are. This is the deepest form of abundance. If you are truly content with yourself, then you do not require validation, approval or positive reactions from others. When others sense this, they know that you are not seeking any type of value from them, and that having you in their lives can thus be beneficial. This also puts them at ease by indicating that you will not burden them with being responsible for your emotional state.

Showing honest intent means that you are willing to express to a woman your interest in her. Outcome independence means that you are completely comfortable accepting that a woman may be unreceptive. Persistence often works with an available woman when you act with honest intent and are outcome independent. Women admire persistence when it illustrates the healthy sense of entitlement of a man who is confident of what he wants, but who also does not become emotionally distraught upon not getting it. This fulfills a woman’s wish to feel desired, but not in a needy value seeking sort of way. Any type of persistence which lacks honest intent and outcome independence will instill disinterest, discomfort and even fear in women.

From Book: Fundamentals of Female Dynamics

u/SensualAva · 18 pointsr/polyamory

While I disagree that mono-poly relationships are never compatible, some work really well, it doesn't sound like it will work for you.

Here are some resources if you want to investigate more:

Poly Resources

A Guide To Hunting Unicorns: By A Unicorn
https://fetlife.com/groups/107/group_posts/1775830

https://www.unicorns-r-us.com

couples privilege
https://tacit.livejournal.com/578925.html

10 rules for good Polyamory
https://sexgeek.wordpress.com/2007/06/10/10-realistic-rules-for-good-non-monogamous-relationships/

The Polyamorist Next Door
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-polyamorists-next-door

https://greatist.com/live/learn-your-monogamy-style

If you're a straight man this book is supposed to be decent:
Playing Fair: A Guide to Nonmonogamy for Men into Women (Thorntree Fundamentals) https://www.amazon.com/dp/1944934383/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_EDXDCb95FBK5K


Podcasts:
Poly Weekly
http://polyweekly.com/

Multiamory
https://www.multiamory.com/

Erotic Awakening: (kink and poly podcast)
http://www.eroticawakening.com/

Loving without Boundaries
http://lovingwithoutboundaries.com/podcast/

events list:
https://polyevents.blogspot.com/2014/08/upcoming-events.html?m=1

u/ElectronGuru · 12 pointsr/bigdickproblems

There’s a basic sequence

  • flirting

  • seduction

  • sex

    And if you try to skip the first two and aren’t a natural, three will be harder to come by. This guide can help:

    How to Succeed with Women,

    https://www.amazon.com/dp/0735204357/
u/GGGilman87 · 11 pointsr/CringeAnarchy

You can't forget his contributions before he became a filmmaker, in publishing books on the art of mackin' - like The Art of Mackin' or The Mack Within. He pretty much went from Black PUA to "We Were Kings" to full blown conspiracy nut and obtuse Twitterer over the years.

u/ManGoingHisOwnWays · 8 pointsr/MGTOW
u/r_sucks3 · 8 pointsr/hapas

I watched some of it and he got to this point where he claims Roosh V stole stuff from him. I looked up his books, check this out.
https://www.amazon.com/Mack-Within-Tariq-Nasheed/dp/1594481792

Notice the woman on the front cover.

u/Kitt_55 · 8 pointsr/seduction

Fundamentals of Female Dynamics The pick-up bible for engineers

u/hoIds_up_spork · 8 pointsr/datingoverthirty

I mean here is a source from an SB who's against this shit test talking about it. And here is the 'headphone test' is listed on a master post of tips and tricks for SBs. Another example of the headphone test listed on a sugar baby master list. The headphone test apparently originated with the book 'Ho Tactics ' which is literally about "mindfucking" men into spending money on you and is a sugar baby BIBLE.

Other examples of people talking about the headphone test: on the sugar lifestyle sub on Reddit / on a forum for strippers

u/Maldoror1869 · 7 pointsr/polyamory

Since your partner is a straight male, you should both check out this blog post and this book about nonmonogamy for men who are into women.

You should also both be aware that some of your rules are going to make it extremely difficult for him to find additional partners, especially the prohibition on partners coming to your apartment and the financial restrictions. Those will likely be deal-breakers for many polyamorous women, who want at least the option to go on a vacation with a partner or go to his place (which would preferably be his own place, and not the apartment he shares with you, but I guess you two maintaining separate living quarters is out of the question). Also, are other men allowed to spend money on you, buy you expensive gifts, or go on vacation with you? If so, you may want to re-examine why you're ok with this double-standard, and if your partner is.

I see that you edited your initial post and removed the part where you said "our relationship comes first." However, if you still believe that inside, be aware that that will also limit your partner's chances of finding someone. Many polyamorous women won't settle for such a clear hierarchical demarcation. Read up on "couple privilege" and try to move away from that line of thinking. Your partners' other partners are people, too, and you need to fully accept that his relationships with them are as serious and important as your relationship with him.

Finally, if your partner actually used the word "cuck" then he needs to drastically change his way of thinking about women, relationships, and the world in general, before trying to date.

u/Emack76 · 7 pointsr/sex

Buy a copy of this book and read it together. Then try some things.

Then, just for the fun of it, get this book too and explore some more.

Have fun!

u/TempestTcup · 6 pointsr/RedPillWomen

I think there might be some books out there by women orbiting the manosphere, but I don't know any. The Surrendered Wife is a good book to read, and she also has The Surrendered Single.

u/wolfsboi · 5 pointsr/askgaybros

Talk talk talk. That's the secret to any relationship - esp poly.

Poly means different things to different people. There is no one correct way. Poly is what you and partners decide it is. Everyone has different reasons about why they are poly.

Personally, I think that it is cruel to expect everything I want from one person. I have enough love to share and my lovers all have different roles in my life. I tired poly when I was not ready and got consumed by jealousy and relationship drama. We make mistakes and we learn. It takes a LOT of emotional maturity, patience, and trust to be in a healthy poly relationship. Poly is not for everyone and it doesn't need to be. Nothing wrong with monogamy if that's your thing.

I think people are more fascinated with the idea of poly. And reality is not always that glamorous. So many people want a quick peep into the lifestyle. The taboo is alluring. But many people also cannot get over the possessiveness and insecurity. No matter how secure you are in yourself and how strong your relationship is, being in a real life poly situation will bring up insecurities and challenge your relationship. If you both work on it together, you will become more close and trusting of each other. It can also drive a wedge between you both.

I would also suggest any of the the below books.

u/myexsparamour · 5 pointsr/DeadBedrooms

It does sound like you and your husband may be sexually incompatible, but possibly you're just both just inexperienced and unmotivated to develop the skills to be great lovers to each other. There are lots of books and tutorials that you could both use to make your sex life really mind-blowing and passionate, but you'd both need to be willing to work on it. It (probably) won't get better if you are the only one who's willing.

If you want to go that route, She Comes First (for him) and Passionista (for you) are two books that get good reviews.

If you communicate your concerns, but your husband really isn't on board with working on this, you still might be able to make some progress by being more dominant in bed. You've been very vague and hesitant in expressing what you need up til now, and it sounds like your husband is on the submissive side. He may respond really well to you taking charge, if you can overcome your inhibitions (or not, it's impossible to know until you try). But it's also possible that you and he are sexually incompatible, and that he just doesn't want the rougher, more passionate sex that would be satisfying for you.

u/Xata27 · 5 pointsr/nonmonogamy

You need to stop looking at it from her angle. Of course she’s going to have more dates than you. That’s just how things are but while you rarely get matches she has to sift through hundreds of people before she finds someone that’s she thinks is cool enough to go out with.

She’s going to have more physical intimacy with her other partners. I think that if you give it time you’re going to have regular partners that you hookup with.

Being a straight male things are different. If you’re really serious about non-monogamy check out: Playing Fair: A Guide to Non-monogamy for Men Into Women by Pepper Mint

u/dreampizza · 5 pointsr/RedPillWomen

Hi!! I HIGHLY recommend The Surrendered Single. The author, Laura Doyle, is hugely popular in this sub. She gives incredibly insightful and actionable advice for single, RP ladies. This book changed my life and I can't recommend it enough to single RPWs looking for their captains.

u/Cloud_Riverdale · 4 pointsr/relationship_advice

Dude, you are incredibly lucky that she is willing to tell you this. If you want a quick run down of what she's asking for, try these links:

https://www.wikihow.com/Be-a-Bad-Boy

https://www.majorleaguedating.com/traits-bad-boys-nice-guys/

When you parse out what they're describing... None of this is actually about being "Bad" or "mean" to people. It's about having self confidence and standing up for yourself.

Here are some book recommendations:
No more Mr Nice Guy: https://www.amazon.com/No-More-Mr-Nice-Guy/dp/0762415339

Models: Attract women through honesty: https://www.amazon.com/Models-Attract-Women-Through-Honesty/dp/1463750358

What women want when they test men:
https://www.amazon.com/What-Women-Want-When-They/dp/1515234045

The last one is "Sex God Method" by Daniel Rose. You have to pirate it, because on amazon it goes for $750. https://www.amazon.com/Sex-God-Method-Daniel-Rose/dp/0557036488

Of all the books, Sex God Method is life changing if you're willing to apply it. This book completely changed my life.

It's not that she wants you to literally be mean, she wants you to stand up to her and stand up for yourself.

She is doing you SUCH a favor by being so honest and up front with you. Seriously. Many guys in your situation just get cheated on, or dumped, or both. Yes, you read that right.

u/SeaRegion · 4 pointsr/Christianity

So on the /r/ChristianMarriage sub, we have a resources page that hits lots of the top names across the Christian romantic relationships spectrum. The problem with dating books is that dating is such a transient status in the Christian world that you're not going to find much written specifically about dating beyond viewing it as a means of getting you into a marriage or protecting you from marrying someone who's not a good match for you. This said, I honestly would recommend engagement books as a good starting place.

This said, I've heard good / great things about these:

u/LoouisCuCK · 4 pointsr/opieandanthony
u/psykocrime · 4 pointsr/relationship_advice

> TL;DR: I'm 22 and have only had one relationship. How do I meet new girls to date? Specifically, how do I approach them in a bar/club and during the day?

A couple of thoughts to help you out:

First, remind yourself of this "Guys are just really ugly girls." (It's a metaphor OK, don't go too far with it) and ask yourself if you're comfortable talking to strange (to you) males? If the answer is "no," then you need to work on the basics of conversing with others. So, start with the basics:

How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

How to Talk to Anyone by Leil Lowndes

How to Instantly Connect with Anyone by Leil Lowndes

How to Start a Conversation and Make Friends by Don Gabor

If you've got basic "conversation / small-talk with strangers" nailed, then there is a fair amount of good material out there on how to start conversations with girls; and how to interact with them in a positive way. See:

The big honking list of openers put out by TSB and the books The Game, The Mystery Method, and/or The Pickup Artist.

Robert Greene's The Art of Seduction is a valuable read as well.

FWIW, I think you'll get more useful answers to a question like this on /r/seduction. /r/relationship_advice seems geared more towards managing an existing relationship, whereas /r/seduction is heavily focused on the "initiation phase." There is a TON of material out there on how to overcome anxiety about approaching women, TONS of stuff on how to be a better conversationalist, stuff on how to amp her attraction for you, etc., etc.

Two links that might be of use to you:

New to Seddit?

Fast Seduction.com "You Are New"

Good luck!

u/ratatatkittykat · 3 pointsr/aspergers

You might like this book:

Designer Relationships

u/GetDePantsed · 3 pointsr/TheGirlSurvivalGuide

Try this book - it rocked my SOs world: Passionista: The Empowered Woman's Guide to Pleasuring a Man.

u/RoundRobinofLocksley · 3 pointsr/TrueChristian

Jesus loves you. Jesus cares. God has a plan for your life. And you know He will always be there.

I'm sorry for the pain and hardship that you've gone through. The authorities in your life were not fulfilling their role. They did not help you to protect your heart. But there is healing through Jesus Christ. I know because I've experienced that healing myself.

You said that you cannot imagine your life without this person. Let me offer you some counsel. In Proverbs 29:18, the Bible says "Where there is no vision, the people perish." I want to help you create a vision for your life that is wholly devoted to Christ.

If you're like most people, you've spent over a decade preparing for higher education such as college or a career. Well, we go to college for four years and then most don't work in the field they studied in. But how much have you studied about God's plan for marriages and families? If you're like most people, probably very little. I know I had no idea what a good marriage was supposed to look like. I knew my mom had been divorced three times and I knew I didn't want that, but I had never seen or heard of another way!

But there is another way, there is God's way. God has standards that should become your standards when seeking a relationship. The Bible says we are not to be unequally yoked with non-believers. This means that first and foremost the man you marry must be a Christian that has been washed in the blood.

The Bible says that those who do not provide for their household are worse than unbelievers. This means that the man you marry must be committed to working hard to provide for his family.

The Bible says that husbands are supposed to wash their wives in the Word of God as to present them blameless even as Jesus cleansed His bride, the church, from all sin so as to present them blameless. This means that the man you marry must be committed to leading his family spiritually. He must be committed to praying with you, for you. He must be committed to reading the Bible with you and to edifying you and to helping you grow in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.

When you renew your mind with this vision, I dare say that you will not even be able to imagine your life with your former non-Christian partner.

A couple of incredible books to read:

https://www.amazon.com/What-He-Must-Be-Daughter/dp/1581349300

https://www.amazon.com/When-Writes-Your-Story-Expanded/dp/1601421656

If you think $20 is too much to invest in your future, I'm more than happy to buy these books for you as long as you commit to reading them. I believe wholeheartedly that they will provide you with a vision that shows you the incredible Biblical plan God has created for marriage.

u/georgelass · 3 pointsr/offmychest

Congratulations on recognizing that you need help and deserve better than that! I'm going though a very similar situation. After I was cheated on, I struggled with self-image and setting boundaries for myself. It's really easy to feel like you aren't good enough after someone cheats on you and can really mess with your head. One thing that has been helping is that i made a small goal every day of something that would make me proud of myself. It could be really small like: I will register to vote or I will drink more water throughout the day. At first it was difficult to think of positive things about my day. After a couple of weeks of this my outlook changed. I was feeling more gratitude than depression and I was slowly accomplishing things that were meaningful to me.
If you find reading helpful, there were a few groups that helped after i left an abusive relationship. I'm assuming you're a woman but if I'm incorrect, please disregard most of my list of book suggestions.

These books really helped me get on track with learning how stand up for myself and find the relationship I deserve:

1 The Nice Girl Syndrome this book is an interesting look at the gender dynamic and how society tells girls to be compliant and quiet instead teaching them to set of setting firm boundaries.

2. [How to Spot a Dangerous Man] (https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0897934474/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1475170298&sr=8-1&pi=SY200_QL40&keywords=how+you+spot+a+dangerous+a+man&dpPl=1&dpID=51qLu6M10CL&ref=plSrch) It certainly has an interesting title. This is not a man-hating book at all. It just shows what abusers, addicts or emotional predators look like and how to avoid them to find the good guys out there.

3.Boundaries This book is great for anyone. It helps you recognize your rights and teaches how to set boundaries in your life. Learning how to have this control was essential in my recovery.

Stay strong.

u/ColorinColorado36 · 3 pointsr/relationship_advice

Here's the thing - healthy attracts healthy, drama attracts drama, unhealthy attracts unhealthy. People don't generally go more than 1-2 points above/below where they are at (see link below for scales).

How emotionally/relationally healthy are you? Self-aware? Mature? BOUNDARIES to know what are problems you're responsible for vs others? Do you have a 'rescuer' complex where you want to be the protector of a girl in need?

I'd also advise looking over your enneagram and see where you fall in the levels of health for your type. Counseling and other personal growth are essential to changing your path (it takes WORK just like getting into physical shape, getting into emotional/relational shape takes time).

IME people can grow 1 level of health per year (and that's with dedicated work b/c changing thinking patterns/habits takes a long time). So if you're currently a Level 4-5, you're picking up girls who are 5-6 (or even 7). You need to be a 3 at least to have a healthy, stable relationship.

Enneagram Types:
https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/type-descriptions/

Click to learn your type. Also examine what in your family's history might have set you up to be attracted to women with major issues. Are your other relatives codependent? How do they handle boundaries? Here's a book on boundaries in dating: https://www.amazon.com/Boundaries-Dating-Healthy-Choices-Relationships-ebook/dp/B000SEHPZG

u/window_gazer1357 · 3 pointsr/dating_advice

If you are interested in a book, [The 3% Man] (https://www.amazon.com/Winning-Heart-Woman-Your-Dreams/dp/0692552669/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1501271173&sr=1-1&keywords=the+3+man) is one that I have heard men describe which pretty much hits the nail on the head.

u/tesstorch · 3 pointsr/BDSMAdvice

Can second the idea of you coming along to the Pro Domme at least the first time to watch and maybe understand some, even if it feels super uncomfortable. In my marriage, I'm the kinky one, and he's vanilla. HE actually arranged for us to go see a Pro Domme together... so I could experience irl submission (yummy) and he could watch, learn (get hard, LOL). If she's a good Pro Domme, you can each talk to her in advance, if you like, and tell her some of what is going on. This context was helpful for our session, and she was almost like a sex therapist, too.

Going forward, the good thing about him seeing a Pro Domme is ... that she's a PROfessional. She isn't interested in stealing him from you, building a relationship with him, etc. From a fidelity standpoint, I think it's the safest option for him to fulfill these needs within your marriage.

There are a number of good books about carving out some sort of poly arrangement in a marriage, much like your husband described. One that I thought was good was "Designer Relationships" by Michaels and Johnson.

u/politicalconspiracie · 2 pointsr/videos

I'm telling you that you are completely misunderstanding (I think purposely) of what stuff like this is trying to do.

> And since it's aimed at guys that we already know are socially inexperienced, how are they going to know that that's not how it actually works?

That's the point dude. This type of stuff is for people to gain expereience and learn from their mistakes and failures. Otherwise they would never learn how to flirt with girls and would wind up being pissed off pathetic loners their whole life.

I've been there man. I was the "nice guy" before that put women on a pedastal and thought if I was just nice enough, then I would earn the girls love or attraction. And that type of thinking is just toxic for everyone involved.

It took reading books like No More Mr. Nice Guy and The Game to learn how to have healthy relationships with women where I was open about interest in the other girl.

And it obviously worked for me, because I used these techniques when I met my now current wife. She had no idea I was using these techniques until I told her about it down the road, and now we just laugh about it. She never thought I was being creepy and she didn't even realize I was using these techniques.

But, it took a lot of failures with other random girls that were awkward encounters at first until it became natural.

I've been married for about 3 years now and we have an amazing fulfilling and loving relationship.

u/tramp_named_olean · 2 pointsr/Advice

It's not an infallible rule book, but it will give you an idea of how to flirt and such. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B007MAXHUG/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1

u/PistolasAlAmanecer · 2 pointsr/intj

You're going to love the on-the-nose title: https://www.amazon.com/dp/0735204357/ref=cm_sw_r_awd_8rJeub0SCB2FE

u/YokohamaFan · 2 pointsr/japanlife

Yeah, it is a thing here. It happened to me many times. I asked my Japanese friends about it and they told me the same. I once asked a girl about but she kind of evaded given a concrete answer.

The Introduction of Modern Romance tells a similar story so maybe it's not exclusive to Japan (click Look Inside to read).

u/pageboysam · 2 pointsr/OkCupid
  • Shorten sentences to make them easier to read. Add playful positive description. You're trying to hook a girl with charm, not tell your life story.
  • Mention social particulars that may set you apart from the crowd in a positive way: Brewing, marijuana, and tattoos (in your pic) are great examples.
  • Give direct examples of awesomeness like what "interesting things" you've created to eat and drink, or that one "live music" show you really really liked.
  • Do NOT mention negative things like "creepy winks" or "awkward guys". Although you don't mean to, you'll subconsciously be associated with them. Be associated with positive things and awesome guys instead.
  • Read blogs.okcupid.com. They have some extremely helpful information.

    As a reference, I read half of How to Succeed with Women and, though I almost upchucked halfway through it, I learned a lot about how to be attractive at the conversational level.
u/melonzipper · 2 pointsr/AskWomen

To be honest I learned a lot from reading She Comes First, the first half of the book is about your anatomy and the second half is about potential approaches you might enjoy :)

Conversely, he made another book for pleasuring the penis called Passionista with a similar layout.


If you like reading about sex, this one is pretty damn good too: Bonk

Reading about sex is fun because you not only do you get to learn more about yourself and/or your partner, but also some fun mechanics and potential exposure to things you might like to try.

u/FearNotDaniel · 2 pointsr/Catholicism

I'm sorry for your pain brother. The devil hates the Church, and the devil hates marriage, and he has been using the world to attack both with a new ferocity for the last three generations. I am so sorry that you are a victim of that. But stand fast and put on the armour of God (Ephesians 6!). The victory belongs to Christ and with His Spirit you can overcome the battles you are faced with.

Pray to Our Lady to stay pure for as long as it takes, and thank God that you do at least have the teachings of the Church and the grace of the sacraments to protect you - I had neither of these until I finally came to know God in my 40s, and though I now have a beautiful and committed Catholic wife, our marriage is attacked daily by the effects of our previously sinful lives outside of the Church.

What I have heard, anecdotally, among younger married Catholics, is that long non-marriage relationships are a very bad idea, for the reasons you have outlined and experienced. If you are not discerning marriage with someone, you should not be dating them at all, and if you don't feel after a year at most that you are sure you should marry each other, then it is time to part ways, give yourself and the other a chance at finding someone more obviously suitable.

Some recommended reading:

  • Seraphic Singles, blog by a traditional Catholic lady who is now married so not updating it any more. It's mostly aimed at women, but apart from having some useful posts specifically for men, the rest is still quite enlightening. Her main tip for men seems to be: traditional Catholic women want to find husbands, but it is our job as men to lead the process, to do the asking out and to lead the discernment process
  • Boy Meets Girl non-Catholic book on Christian "courtship", which proposes a plan for specifically, intentionally dating with a view to discerning marriage

    The alternative, of course, is to try not to think of marriage so much at all, put more effort into serving God and the Church, keep trying to grow into authentic manhood and leave it in God's hands. I'm not saying you should do this, and I understand very well the problem of lust, but it's something to think about. At least consider the possibility that you may be at risk of allowing marriage and/or sex to become an idol in your life and thus taking your attention away from God and your pursuit of holiness. One book I can recommend, if you think this may be a factor, is Wild at Heart by John Eldredge.

    And whatever you do, do everything in your power to avoid pornography, masturbation and other sexual sins. Which basically means accepting you don't have power and you need God's grace.

    Also, I think the closer you get to God, the more your opinion of what is attractive in a woman will change. I'm not at all suggesting you should marry someone you find physically repulsive, but remember you have been brainwashed by a broken world to expect sexual arousal based on the external appearances of women you know nothing about. Figure out what character traits in a partner you need to make a successful, Catholic marriage and they are very different from what the World tells us we should expect. When your hearts are united with God, and you are both committed to marriage His way, then I firmly believe that He will give you the grace of great and satisfying sex too, but it will be nothing like we are conditioned to expect by pornography and Hollywood. Proverbs 31:30 seems to have an opinion on this.

    I hope and pray that your frustration and disgust, when you offer it to God, will be turned around by His grace into a determination to change the world for the better, to pull the world back from the traps that the Devil has set for us, to raise a good Catholic family and to use your experience and wisdom to help lead the next generation back towards the Truth. Amen?!
u/wingchild · 2 pointsr/videos

That's a talk by Matt Hussey, author of Get the Guy: Learn Secrets of the Male Mind to Find the Man You Want and the Love You Deserve.

He's a columnist for Cosmo, and is listed as a "dating expert" for the Today show. In short, he's a handsome face who writes dating advice books for women who read traditional "women's magazines" and watch daytime television. The audience at his talks is a self-selecting group of women looking for the secrets that will make a man fall in love.

u/swingthatwang · 2 pointsr/TrollXChromosomes

https://www.amazon.com/How-Spot-Dangerous-Before-Involved/dp/0897934474

the workbook you can find on piratebay. probably the book itself on pdf in google

maybe print one out for her. or spend your time with her talking thru this. i feel like sometimes with these friends, they know you'll be there as a source of comfort where they want their boyfriend to be. and at least personally, using our hang time together to focus on this instead of consoling her (ie enabling/cushioning) this behavior has helped her make her own decision to drop his ass. but that's my specific case.

u/crono09 · 2 pointsr/Christianity

I think that this attitude is the product of the book I Kissed Dating Goodbye written by Joshua Harris. It gained a lot of traction among Christians in the late 1990s and spawned a competing book called I Gave Dating a Chance. Harris doesn't actually think that dating is wrong, but he advocates a different attitude towards dating. Much of what he says is semantics. He advocates going back to courting instead of dating, but his definition of courting resembles what many people would call dating. In the end, he does make some good points about society's attitude towards dating, but he doesn't make a very good argument for getting rid of it completely. I haven't read it yet, but he apparently wrote a sequel called Boy Meets Girl: Say Hello to Courtship after he got married.

u/Frandaman760 · 2 pointsr/virgin

Well first off, I don't see the ultimate goal as just having sex. I see the goal as finding a women to grow in a relationship with, that doesn't have to be your goal, but that's how I look at it. I just want to try to get some dates and see where it goes, I don't have raging success but I'm lightyears away from the shut in I was 6 months ago. Women can offer you much more then just sex, even if it's just a simple conversation that leads to nothing.

You mention a sort of one and done with sex, that's certainly not what I'm looking for, but if that's what you want, I'd imagine today's dating services and hookup culture could help make it work. Just got to get out there. Yes, the struggles will be there, but track your progress and give yourself pats on the back. You used a Mt Everest analogy, just think of the progress and growth you'll have after completing that climb. It certainly won't be as hard the second time, right? And if a girl is having sex with you you are fairly likely to be able to get another date or whatever if that's what you want.

> Consider this: Can you tell me how much work does an extroverted man have to put in to do the same thing?

Probably a lot less, but there is no equality. Just focus on improving yourself, compare you to you. Personally, I try my absolute best to look at things from a growth standpoint. I used to be scared to approach even women that I already knew, I would have trouble holding conversations with anyone, scared to express myself and the like. But I improved, I talk to more people(anyone), I calmed down my toxic inner voice, etc. and I'm quite proud of the progress I've made so far. I won't presume to know your situation or the struggles you've had but you can improve too.

> I don't agree that the "less outspoken" guy with social limitations should automatically accept being lower value.

I absolutely agree with this, I'm sorry if I implied otherwise. Make your own value, don't let your self-worth be defined by others. Kind of off tangent but I made a concerted effort to improve my posture a few months back and I was shocked at how much better I felt, and the reactions I got from not just women but men was much better, much to my surprise. No one will believe in you if you don't believe in yourself.

There's a lot to be said about this stuff man and I certainly don't have all the answers, but I would just say to go out there and be the man you want to be and damn what anyone else thinks. There are billions of women out there, more then enough that you can find one where you both suit eachother. There is only one /u/Aeon199, be the best you can be.

Before I go I'll just recommend some books(and a youtube channel) that helped me turn my life around so to speak.

  1. Corey Wayne's "How to be a 3% Man"
    • (I got it for 10 bucks on IBook) At first glance it's a trash dating book that's bound to be full of bullshit. But it helped me immensely to understand women and get my passion back. At the absolute least, I urge you to check out his youtube channel, he has many, many helpful videos. He's not perfect, sometimes you'll shake your head, but the dude changed my life and he recommended both the other books I'm gonna list. Here's a video, maybe not his best but it seems relevant, and I enjoyed it when I watched a little while back. "See yourself as a High Value Person" Edit: Also Never Doubt Your Own Value

  2. Dale Carnegie's "How to Win Friends and Influence People"
    • Absolute classic. Helps you to fine tune your social skills giving real life examples of the tips it provides. Easy to find and can get it cheap, I got it for 3 bucks in IBook. I think they should make people read this one in high school, I know that college business classes sometimes have it as required reading. Dramatically helped me improve my social skills in general.

  3. David Deida's "How to be a Superior Man"
    • This one is a little heavy, it's not a dating or social advice book per se, it's more of a guidebook about what masculinity is, I feel like I understand myself much better after reading it. From the passion you feel from watching a touchdown in football(just an example) to your drive to accomplish to your raw attraction to particular females, this book goes into it. It gets spiritual and perhaps a little loony a bit later in the book but it's really good. I recommend you read it if you like the first two.
u/Odd_Thoughts · 2 pointsr/Christianity

I've read The Sacred Search, and thought that it was awesome. It taught how we can use the brains that God gave us to find a good potential spouse. The basic gist was, "Here's what you should be looking out for.... and, yeah, okay, the Holy Spirit does something too, don't ignore Him along the way."

Then I read When God Writes Your Love Story, and it blew my mind. It was the complete opposite approach, and focused on trusting God with your whole life, including your choice and timing of your spouse.

I don't think that either approach is inherently wrong or sinful or wasteful. But I ended up choosing the second option, and it's changed my whole spiritual life in a profound way.

u/ZinkWattoomGazork · 2 pointsr/Christianity

> Then I read When God Writes Your Love Story, and it blew my mind. It was the complete opposite approach, and focused on trusting God with your whole life, including your choice and timing of your spouse.

That book is everything that I Kissed Dating Goodbye tried and failed to be.

u/mlbontbs87 · 2 pointsr/Christianity

Read the book. Then read the followup book, Boy Meets Girl. Both are by Joshua Harris. Both give sound advice, once you understand the advice. Then you will understand where this mother is coming from, and useful dialog will result.

u/Katholikos · 2 pointsr/Catholicism

Ah close - Modern Romance. Thanks for jogging my memory! I was at work and couldn't really look.

u/nonkn4mer · 2 pointsr/funny

If you're truly looking for a book to help you talk to women or learn how to play the field or at least get a shot with someone you think is out of your league, read "How to succeed with women". This isn't a funny post for Internet points, but an honest recommendation for a book that changed my life years ago. My friends and I, all computer nerds, read this (dubbed - the black book) and every one of us has positive results. If you suck at the game, or want to increase your odds, do yourself a favor and at least make this a bathroom reader for a few weeks.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0735204357/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?qid=1411708347&sr=8-1&pi=SY200_QL40

u/MillerWong · 1 pointr/zootopia

Excuse me sir, I'm afraid falling down from stairs especially in a PRISON is unlikely to happen. And hitting others is totally not tolerable and whoever did it will face solitary confinement and being taken to Max prison afterwards. So you're pretty safe inside there wink

Speaking of guitars, I just remember my brother did learn a few guitar lessons before. Months later he quitted it, probably lost of interests already. So we have a spare guitar lying somewhere inside the store room waiting to be dusted. I tried to sell it online but to no avail. But I'm not really fond of it.

I wanted to learn violin last year. I decided to give out after enquiring few music centers. It's quite costly but it's still affordable for me, but the thing is they told me violin takes years to master it. I did know every instrument needs a long time to practise. They recommend me to learn guitar instead. Because violin is like piano, it's best to learn when you're still a little kid. As a big fan of classical musics and opera, this bad news hit me hard. That's only the reason why I wanted to learn violin though. But anyway, I still enjoy these musics as usual. But I wish I had the chance to watch them live. The countries which nearest to mine and helding the concert are either Japan or Australia. I prefer Australia, then I'll have the chance to watch it in Sydney Opera House. Wooooooooo. Never been to Australia. But not so fast yet, this short trip is gonna cost me about 1 year gross pocket money.(Maybe a 4D3N trip) Holy Mother Of God, that's a lot! In order to achieve my maybe biggest dream, I'm learning stocks right now. I planned a 10k portfolio which will be carried out several months later. Hopefully, it will bring me enough profit for the next year's trip. But I still have another problem- my parents. Well y'know my parents are kinda conservative, I doubt they will let their child travel along to another country.

There's no need for a CD if you don't have or miss it, google it and you will the HD version which I did. I know it's pirating, but... that's the only way for me.

Watch out we got a badass over here! Now I need to get a revolver inside my holster. Preparing for a future dueling. Hehe.

The sub will die out soon or maybe eventually few years later, once the community stops making arts. Comic is the one going to die out first, then maybe fanfics and arts. It's rare to find new comics now, but I'm glad I bookmarked alot of comics before. About comics, I know there's only 5 left which are still making and updating. Savage Company, PL PG, Spintherella's, Kulkum's, and Mead cooperating with Anon's. Not sure there's more or not, these are what I have in mind, at 1:30am. You're scared of those stuff, don't you? evil laughs

I don't have any love experience before. But I do have few ideas that might help you. First off, I want to know do you like or love her. It has different meaning. The previous one is maybe lust; the latter is like we said 'My Judy' someone you want to live with her forever. Or maybe you like the characteristics of her, and wanna be friends with that sweet little girl? I'll leave it that for you. For tips how to approach girls, I just have a nice book which will do the job flawlessly. This book might be a little costly. Oh and the author has a Youtube channel too, here. I bookmarked this book long before, maybe I'll buy it somewhere in future.

Anytime man, I'm already started my holiday.

u/pipboy90 · 1 pointr/dating_advice

It helped me to understand what it means to be an emotionally-centered, confident man, and what women are actually attracted to.

I didn't have a clue about these things growing up. My father was emotionally unavailable, I was teased in school for being skinny, and I enjoyed video games and reading more than sports or cars. There wasn't a good masculine role model in my life.

This left me unprepared for high school, and when I did find girls that were attracted to me, I didn't know what to do with them. I figured if I acted like the jerks that I grew up with, they would like me. Turns out they just thought I was a jerk (go figure).

My lack of success and insecurities with women continued into college, but instead of acting like a jerk, I would end up being a doormat. I wasn't until my first "relationship" ended that I decided I needed to fix this part of my life and read the book.

It made me do a total 180 in terms of what I thought was expected of me as a man. Like removing a veil over my eyes. I recommended it to a friend and it did the same for him. I'm in a much healthier place now, mentally and physically, and my self-esteem is high. It's not something that changes overnight, but over time.

Two more books that I've read more recently which are also great are No More Mr. Nice Guy and The 3% Man

u/berlinal · 1 pointr/polyamory
u/Iron_Man_9000 · 1 pointr/relationship_advice

Glad to hear you broke it off, your relationship sounded quite upsetting. If you want more insight on how to avoid this issue more in your next relationship, here is a useful book for you:

​

https://www.amazon.com/What-Women-Want-When-They/dp/1515234045

u/adrun · 1 pointr/booksuggestions

Matt Hussey wrote a book called "Get the guy", which is aimed at single women, but I think it has a lot of important messages about independence, self-worth, and confidence that could have some relevance to your situation. Hussey also has a blog with a "keep the guy" section that might be more applicable.

u/McWitt19 · 1 pointr/AskReddit

http://www.amazon.com/Pickup-Artist-New-Improved-Seduction/dp/0345518195

This. This is what you need. I got to pick this book to read, analyze, and relate communication and psychology theries about relationships for a class last semester. I view myself as a guy with average confidence/ability to meet/pickup girls, but after reading this book, I got a hell of a lot better at it. BUY THIS BOOK it will help you develop your game and reduce stressing about meeting women.

Or, get drunk, go to party, mack on hoes.

good luck

u/tryanotherJuan · 1 pointr/RedPillWomen

No problem!

It's a book. I got my copy on amazon.

http://www.amazon.com/The-Surrendered-Single-Practical-Attracting/dp/0743217896/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1409767508&sr=8-1-fkmr0&keywords=the+surrended+single

I would say once would be enough as long as you are very clear in the way that you communicate. That being said, if he is the one bringing it up you could certainly talk about it more.

He also needs to know that if he asked you, you would say yes. Not that you have to say that outright, but again, he will know by the way you treat him.

Perhaps more experienced (i.e. married) ladies would have a different perspective?

I think it's also about holding firm boundaries. If you say, for example, that you don't want to live together before marriage, then don't agree to live together thinking it will get you what you want. To me, that's where the manipulative behavior comes in.

The right captain cares about your happiness and your desires. I think your job is just to make your desires clear and then he can decide if that is something he is able to do and wants to do.

Seriously, the book is really great. I highly recommend it!

u/sedditzoolander · 1 pointr/fPUA

I haven't finished this book yet, but so far, it looks really good:

https://www.amazon.com/Get-Guy-Learn-Secrets-Deserve/dp/0062241753/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1474257235&sr=8-1&keywords=get+the+guy

Give it a try.

Edit: Also, I shot you a PM

u/LittlegirlEntomology · 1 pointr/AmItheAsshole

NTA.

Also?

Buy this book. It will save your marriage.

https://www.amazon.com/What-Women-Want-When-They/dp/1515234045

u/tessiegamgee · 1 pointr/sex
u/78trombones · 1 pointr/seduction

Fundamentals of Female Dynamics Book about core principles which you can systematically apply. Any strict system which does not take into account a situation's context will fail you.

u/mnemosyne-0002 · 1 pointr/KotakuInAction

Archives for the links in comments:

u/horseyhorseyhorsey · 1 pointr/KotakuInAction

I bet they won't be banning The Mack Within: The Holy Book of Game. By Tariq "K-Flex" Nasheed any time soon will they?

u/ayriana22 · 1 pointr/BDSMAdvice

Listen to your gut, if things feel off there is a good reason for it.

This book isn't specific to BDSM but it does help a lot with recognizing red flags and avoiding bad people before you get involved with them.https://www.amazon.com/How-Spot-Dangerous-Before-Involved/dp/0897934474

​

Some other warning signs would be getting too sexual too quickly, no discussion of boundaries, likes, dislikes, limits etc. Automatic assumption of dominance/ownership without allowing time for the relationship to progress organically. Or just generally being a jerk are also good signs that you should run away fast.

u/terevos2 · 1 pointr/Reformed

> I only wish I had your wisdom.

It was only after being a fool for many years prior.

> I think the fathers of the girls I dated would have given me a funny look if I talked to them about that stuff or asked them permission to do anything.

Yeah, you gotta know your audience, who you're dealing with. I wouldn't recommend that approach with every father of a girl you wanted to date.

> I have a daughter and a son on the way now, and when they are older I want them to take your path.

When Boy Meets Girl was a very helpful book to me. It's best to approach the book as a source for wisdom in relationships, rather than this is what you have to do kind of thing.

u/KeronCyst · 1 pointr/offmychest

> I think sometimes he doesn't know how much his words sting.

No, he doesn't. And if I know a thing or two from my own experiences as well as general human behavior, his feelings died/were dying at least 1-2 months ago, if not earlier, and he just hid it all that time (which is what the person with the waning feelings always does—so it's not just him), for the sake of tradition/comfort/familiarity/desire to avoid conflict.

It looks like he did this too long and now it just burst at a terrible time. But also, a year is just a number. If a year was 337 days, you would have reached that arbitrary "goal" already. So it's not a big deal to not "reach" a number. I mean, heck, that's already longer than mine was!

> He says things like "we probably won't know each other in 10 years" and stuff like that, not knowing how much it hurts and stings me.

Thaaaaaaaaaaaat's a super-red flag. That's atrocious, even. If your SO is saying things that even a platonic friend wouldn't say, I'd high-tail it outta there immediately, or at least bluntly say "wut" to his face and crucify the issue on the spot. In my opinion, relationships teach you to just be blunt about everything. As Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend of the fabulous book Boundaries in Dating insist: "Nip it in the bud." Nail down problems right away as they appear before they grow into more menacing clouds later.

> He makes me laugh, he gives me a safe space whenever I'm sad, he's just fun to be around and makes me feel so good about myself.

That is great stuff. The problem is that he has to feel the same about himself. And if they don't, sometimes people don't always talk or express it or they downright lie/sugarcoat to make the other person feel better. That's why, ever since my breakup, for life, I will always silently yet relentlessly probe other people's personalities to try to anticipate anything that they're not saying. I could probably invest more analysis time into body gestures too, but people are just too different that I think words are king in this regard. But yeah, never ignore flags/signs, never try to force things... occasionally it works but way more often than not, it doesn't. Very sorry about your troubles. You can get through this!

u/aensues · 1 pointr/MensLib

He mentions it a lot in his stand up and in Modern Romance

u/chopstyks · 1 pointr/Buddhism

Ron Louis and David Copeland.

This is the one: How to Succeed with Women.

u/BrooklynGuy111 · 1 pointr/AskMenAdvice

It's these guys on the internet who give out advice about how to get girls interested in them. It was made famous by this book. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B007MAXHUG/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1.

Even if it is a pick up artist gimick that he is doing, I wouldn't necessarily assume that he's fully immersed in it and using some elaborate system (though maybe he is). If you're a guy and you just google around for advice about dating you're bound to stumble across this stuff at some point. Could be some isolated piece of advice he stumbled upon. But in general if a guy is doing something that is both weird and deliberate on a date I would assume it's some weird piece of pick up artist advice.

u/mellowfish · 1 pointr/Christianity

So, the issue here is that marriage isn't just a paper you sign. The whole point of marriage is that you are joining together as one flesh with your bride. It is an archetype of God and this bride, the church.

Sex is that physical act of joining as one flesh, so it is supposed to be done in a marriage and not outside one.

----

As far as avoiding temptation, it is all about boundaries. It is different for each couple, but in general, you need to limit the touch. Many couples choose not to front hug (hence the jokes about side-hugs) or cuddle. Other common limits are no touching below the waist or sitting in each other's lap.

The idea of these kind of rules is that by limiting yourself you avoid being in a bad situation.

A helpful book is Boy Meets Girl: Say Hello to Courtship which talks about how to create these rules for yourself, among other things.

u/Climbing_a_Mountain · 1 pointr/China

I think you trying judge me on my short query I have asked this question just to clarify my options. I have been around dating community on the internet for a while. Is this book somehow related to this or this? I will read it if it has something different. At this point of my life I take women easily I have been through several girlfriends without any pains or issue. But right now I am more focused to handle my career.

u/ShaktiAmarantha · 1 pointr/sex

You're right, there's a definite disparity. I think the problem is that you can cover giving a good blowjob pretty well in an article, and there are thousands of blog posts online already on the subject, not to mention the thousands of porn videos.

I haven't read it, but you could try Passionista: The Empowered Woman's Guide to Pleasuring a Man by the same author as She Comes First.

Hmmm.... Now that I look, there are actually quite a few titles on Amazon about giving blowjobs & handjobs, but reading some of the negative reviews isn't encouraging. The only one I can recommend from personal experience is a DVD called Blow Him Away!. I reviewed it here.

I think the biggest problem with giving recommendations is not knowing how experienced the reader is. If you're a virgin with little experience, a good guide has to be one that starts at a very basic level. If you're experienced and looking for expert-level tips, the same beginner's guide is going to be a waste of time.

Besides oral, I think the areas that most women need the most help with are cowgirl position, anal sex, and edging (making a guy last a long time at a really high level of arousal, so his orgasms are extra intense). Here are some things to help:

u/JackGetsIt · 1 pointr/JoeRogan

Here's a book I wish I would have read at 18. Hope you give it a shot. It's short.

https://www.amazon.com/Fully-Engaged-Using-Practicing-Daily/dp/1608684326

For women this (Title looks scammy but it's legit):

https://www.amazon.com/Winning-Heart-Woman-Your-Dreams/dp/0692552669/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1504194930&sr=1-1&keywords=3+percent+man

I have more if you're interested.

u/PercivalThePervert · 1 pointr/GoneErotic

Ok, can we do this book next? Although we can to this one or this one too!

u/funnybillypro · 1 pointr/podcasts

[Sex Stuff] The Manwhore Podcast: A Sex-Positive Quest for Love - Ep. 178: Hairy Porn and Age Play with Nikki Silver

Nikki Silver is hairy. Very hairy. Lives in the woods surrounded by feminist literature hairy. Nikki creates porn that caters to those who fetishize natural body hair. Her site, Naughty Natural, showcases sexy women with armpit hair, facial hair, leg hair, and big, beautiful bushes. “I was a little sex maniac,” the Long Island native shares when asked how she got into the porn industry. Nikki Silver joins me for an unshaven episode of The Manwhore Podcast! ALSO: my summer intern shares her worst college sex story!

PLUS: incest roleplay, ManwhoreCon, age play, Designer Relationships, cats, and stinky pits!

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Check out Nikki Silver (NSFW)!

NaughtyNatural.com

Twitter: @xNikkiSilverx

Get yourself a copy of Designer Relationships: A Guide to Happy Monogamy, Positive Polyamory, and Optimistic Open Relationships. It’s the first poly book to teach me something new.

My summer intern may be leaving us, but you should still follow her on social media! IG: @beahirsch

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u/CLSosa · 1 pointr/dating

Holy fuck dude why'd you hit her up so much?

I know if I went to a wedding, on a saturday night too the next day I probably would be all over social media on sunday, posting pics, looking back on vids, etc.

Imagine if instead of texts and fb messages you left her messages on an answering machine back in the 90s. If you came home and some chick you made out with a few times called and left 2 or 3 messages in a row all in ONE DAY. You see where i'm going with this? This is what texting and messages are in OUR era.

I think by sunday night she probably already was turned off by that, and then you sealed the deal with calling, and even more messages. We ALL want what we can't have, so being slightly allusive, i'm not talking bullshit games high schoolers play but just a liiiiiiiiitle out of reach makes us want it even more. So you being so insanely available and desperate for her responses took all the chase away from her.


Honestly I would definitely recommend reading the book Modern Romance, it's partially funny, partially dating advice, just overall a good read, and I guarantee if you read it you'll completely see where you went wrong on this situation.

u/SnapshillBot · 1 pointr/MGTOW

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u/wrongontheinternet · 1 pointr/relationship_advice

How to Succeed with Women by Ron Louis and David Copeland for the men.

How to Succeed with Men by Ron Louis and David Copeland for the women.

I haven't read the latter but I am currently working through the former and I have found it to be pretty good. I like the way it distills the key ideas of seduction without becoming a sleazy pickup artist manual itself. The major downside is that it has this habit of inserting small promos for other books/audio/courses by the authors related to particular topics. For example, it will discuss how to approach and start a conversation with a woman and then inform the reader that the authors wrote this excellent book on the topic called How to Talk to Women, with CD's of real dialogue situations!

Also, I'm not sure if it's just me but the example "characters" they use to explain the difference between effective and ineffective seducers seem somewhat contrived. It just gives me this vibe that these are people who have been made up just to prove the point that the book wants to prove.

u/Fiftyfourd · 1 pointr/sex

So something like this book for pick up art?

And this is the Mystery Method book for anyone interested.

u/codewizbambam · 1 pointr/seduction

Wrote that from my mobile. To spell the links out, what can be helpful for you are those:

https://www.amazon.com/New-Rules-Attraction-Keep-Make/dp/1402266529/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=arden+leigh&qid=1554639308&s=gateway&sr=8-1

https://www.amazon.com/Art-Seduction-Robert-Greene/dp/1861977697/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=art+of+seduction&qid=1554639377&s=gateway&sr=8-1

https://www.amazon.com/Introducing-NLP-Psychological-Understanding-Neuro-Linguistic/dp/1573244988/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=introducing+nlp&qid=1554639402&s=gateway&sr=8-1

​

Besides those, a lot of the knowledge base in PUA comes from stuff like

https://www.amazon.com/Evolutionary-Psychology-New-Science-Mind/dp/1138088617/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=evolutionary+psychology&qid=1554639453&s=gateway&sr=8-1

There's probably some more books for both genders, but there's also quite a market for books just for females (like the one by arden leigh), where you can find all sorts of things, like even exotical stuff like

https://www.amazon.com/Ho-Tactics-Uncut-Spending-Sponsoring/dp/0692258841/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=ho+tactics&qid=1554639560&s=gateway&sr=8-1

but the issue is pretty much the same one as in the dating / seduction / pickup niche for us guys, you stand in a huge pile of crap and have to search for the gold nuggets on your own.

​

u/RapedByPlushies · 1 pointr/AskReddit
u/bmw17 · 1 pointr/Christianity

This book which a friend gave to me a few years ago. We each read it a few times. When I started a relationship with this girl a while back, I asked her to read it. We've been going strong with no issues. The friend that gave me the book asker her boyfriend to read it as well, and they have been rock solid. Great read.