(Part 2) Best eating disorder books according to redditors
We found 637 Reddit comments discussing the best eating disorder books. We ranked the 164 resulting products by number of redditors who mentioned them. Here are the products ranked 21-40. You can also go back to the previous section.
Looking at the summary of that book on Amazon...
They say don't judge a book by its cover, but I'm going to do the opposite, be very judgmental here and say that this summary doesn't fill me with the hope that this is a measured take on ED recovery or healthy lifestyle habits. It seems like precisely the sort of summary that'd be a motherlode of fatlogic. Maybe I'm wrong and it's just bait to get HAES advocates to read it, who knows?
Still, the message of the person writing this... Yeah, an anorexic probably needs to let go of the fear of gaining a healthy amount of weight. But you know what? It's been said here before, by ED sufferers, that nothing makes an anorexic run away in screaming panic from the thought of treatment and recovery quite like the idea that they'll end up obese.
Yeah, if you're BMI 15, you need to let go of the fear of gaining weight. If you're BMI 25, not so much.
I highly recommend Eating in the Light of the Moon: How Women Can Transform Their Relationship with Food Through Myths, Metaphors, and Storytelling.
So here's what you do:
Get her one of these, they're grip strength trainers and you can get her one for about
$4$8 or a pack of them for$10$20 (sorry, they've raised their prices). They're especially good for rock climbers but make great tools for working out in the car or at the office.Then, get her a used copy of a book on sizism or which serves to humanize the kind of people she mindlessly hates. Two easy to read but good young adult novels are "Fat Kid Rules the World," by K. L. Going (which Matthew Lilliard has made into a film, partially because of its punk environment) and "Big Fat Manifesto" by Susan Vaught (this one has a female protagonist). Another good choice would be "Fat: The Anthropology of an Obsession" by Don Kulick. This one is more for adults and might be slightly more academic. You can get all of these for less than $2 apiece on Amazon, and you may even help to diminish some hate in this world. Good luck!
[Edit]: If you are really against pointing out someone's faults through an anonymous gift exchange, you could also get her a fitness book like The New Rules of Lifting for Women, which is highly recommended for female fitness geeks, especially if she doesn't yet lift weights.
A book that really helped me is "Food: The good girls drug"
https://www.amazon.com/Food-Girls-Using-Control-Feelings/dp/0425239039
Academic/bodybuilder here.
Must Read: Paul Morrison's essay "Muscles" in this book: http://www.amazon.com/Explanation-Everything-Essays-Subjectivity-Cultures/dp/0814756743/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1453961661&sr=1-1&keywords=the+explanation+for+everything+morrison
"Sportsex:" http://www.temple.edu/tempress/titles/1571_reg.html
Below find some other titles that might be of interest to you, just from poking around. The fat studies volumes will have a lot of citations that direct you to sources with statistics and qualitative analyses of benefits that those who are normatively attractive receive that fat people do not.
http://www.amazon.com/Handbook-Sports-Studies-Jay-Coakley/dp/0761949496/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1453961740&sr=1-3&keywords=Sexing+the+Athlete
http://www.amazon.com/Handbook-Sports-Studies-Jay-Coakley/dp/0761949496/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1453961715&sr=1-3&keywords=Sexing+the+Athlete
http://www.amazon.com/Fat-Anthropology-Obsession-Don-Kulick/dp/1585423866/ref=pd_sim_14_3?ie=UTF8&dpID=41aO9pm4UnL&dpSrc=sims&preST=_AC_UL160_SR105%2C160_&refRID=1FEQQPNTHTKQNR8C432B
http://www.amazon.com/The-Studies-Reader-Esther-Rothblum/dp/0814776310
http://www.amazon.com/Fat-Shame-Stigma-American-Culture/dp/0814727697/ref=pd_bxgy_14_2?ie=UTF8&refRID=0QZSPEB6ZP13399RS2DC
http://www.amazon.com/The-Body-Key-Concepts/dp/1845205901/ref=pd_sim_14_4?ie=UTF8&dpID=31xCL-of-wL&dpSrc=sims&preST=_AC_UL160_SR107%2C160_&refRID=1FEQQPNTHTKQNR8C432B
I’ve lost 100lbs before (and unfortunately gained it back, I’m back down 45 lbs) and probably know where she’s at. It’s really fucking hard to keep going after losing so much and realizing that you have so much left to lose. You feel tired, burned out, and suddenly like everything you’re doing is unsustainable and for naught because even though you might be thinner - you’re not happier. You can’t eat anything and you have to obsess over every calorie and it fucking sucks. And then you plateau and it’s even worse.
I started doing the Intuitive Eating Workbook and that’s really helped me find my motivation, and a significantly healthier mindset. There’s also a really great book that goes with it. It’s not a diet book. It’s all about mindset and creating sustainable changes. It doesn’t give meal plans or anything. It’s literally all about mentality.
If you're using it as a coping mechanism, you need to replace it with a new coping mechanism. CBT can be really helpful. There are some workbooks available for you to go through on your own (if you don't have access to a therapist), this one is on amazon
You said you are still binging.
> but last night I did binge due to
https://smile.amazon.com/Intuitive-Eating-Workbook-Principles-Relationship/dp/1626256225/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1539699058&sr=8-4&keywords=intuitive+eating
The water hasn't cured you, but you sound like the way of thinking that intuitive eating presents would line up with the way you think about things.
>excessive pickiness around food can set you up for issues with weight
This feels so familiar.......
> saying "hey, I'm at my goal weight, time for dessert seven days a week!"
A diet should probably include six months to a whole year of weight maintenance so satiety hormones can get back on track.
So maintaining the weight would be part of the diet.
Maybe that works?
And this is the workbook.
>Would you tell a fat person who wants to lose weight to just "let it go" and eat whatever they want to eat?
I would. It sounds counter-intuitive, but it's a very real way out.
I've struggled with eating disorders. I've been both obese and severely underweight.
Sure, you can force away body fat through rigid methods. It's really not that hard. But the psychological issues that underly compulsive eating will remain, and you'll just end up developing self-destructive orthorexia instead.
First of all, don't you think fat people are fully aware of how counter-productive their dietary habits are? Of course they are. What one must recognize is that food in excess happens to be a relatively (compared to other drugs of abuse) socially accepted way of self-medicating psychological pain. It's easy to get away with and to rationalize.
The problem? You know how bad your habits are. And you shame yourself. Shame leads to psychological pain, and the only way you know to self-medicate is by eating, and so you get at it again. It's a self-feeding (heh) mechanism.
One issue is also that many fat individuals are not very mindful when they eat, and so they rarely eat 'what they actually want', and instead they eat out of self-soothing habit. A food binge is the most intoxicating thing ever. In one sense, it's a 'letting go of control', and it's total freedom, but that freedom is only restricted because you've imposed that control-scheme on yourself in the first place.
The release-aspect of "Ahh fuck yes, I can finally do this! ALL IN BABY!" only comes because you've spent all day every minute all week thinking "I musn't do this, this is bad, I'm a bad person, why am I doing this? This is a bad habit. Stop doing it. You're stupid. You're bad. You're useless. You shouldn't. You musn't. Why can't you stop?" The release comes from a temporary rejection of that control scheme. But if you never had that control scheme in the first place, the forceful rejection of it wouldn't appeal to you. That's the paradoxical nature of the situation.
The most tricky pattern one can recognize is this: "I musn't do X. Alright I've decided, I will never do X again." followed by "Shit, shit, shit. I did X! Fuck. What now? I'm fucked, might as well do it all day long." repeat the whole ordeal, except next time it's all week long, and then all month long, because why not you're already fucked, right?
The solution? Don't blame yourself, because it'll only lead to fear. Instead, seek to understand the pattern. Don't seek to control behaviour according to some ideal you have in mind, instead observe it, deeply, and seek to re-adjust it according to your true honest understanding of the situation. Be mindful (meditate) when you eat, make it a ritual of focused awareness. Do the same for masturbation, and you'll see that the 'desperate' aspect of it will dissolve soon enough.
A single orange peeled and eaten in a mindful manner will taste a thousand times better than the largest plate of [insert favourite food] eaten in a mindless binge. It will also, probably, last a lot longer ...
Related note: Most people don't actually know what true hunger feels like, because they eat according to the clock and not according to the bod, and they can afford to not fast/starve for long periods of time. The first step in 'solving' any 'problem' related to the body, is to listen the fuck up to what the body is telling you, and not to an endless stream of external 'advice'. If you're really hungry, steamed plain broccoli will taste just as good as the smoothest chocolate you've ever eaten.
For a more in-depth discussion on eating disorders (and self-destructive patterns in general), I'd suggest the book Women Food and God: An Unexpected Path to Almost Everything by author Geneen Roth. It's aimed at women who've struggled with compulsive eating, body dysmorphia, and so on. But the underlying message spreads much wider.
It's all about control. We fear losing control, but we also love losing control. We want to lose control 'on our terms'.
The other side of it is: If there was no control to begin with, then you can't fear the loss of it, nor can you love the loss of it. The love, or the fear, is instead eternally present with you. You choose which one to manifest.
I'd also suggest https://www.amazon.co.uk/Overcoming-Problems-including-Dysmorphic-Disorder/dp/1845292790/
I haven't read that book, but it's part of the Overcoming series which teaches self-directed CBT for various mental health issues.
> models who smoke won't be allowed to work since it's an unhealthy habit.
Are you seriously comparing smoking to an eating disorder? There is no denying that the fashion world is at fault for pushing this twisted view of how a body should look like. Most fashion labels absolutely view skinny as the ideal. And specifically want their models to be skinny. I'll give you some examples.
Teenage girls who are patients at Sweden's larget eating disorder clinic are being scouted by model agencies. Some have BMI as low as 14, one was so sick she was wheelchair bound.
Hungry: A Young Model's Story page 95. Coco Rocha being told at 15, "You need to lose more weight. The look this year is anorexia. We don't want you to be anorexic, but that's what we want you to look like."
Ralph Lauren photostopping a model's waist in an advertisement. Her head was bigger than her waist.
Karl Lagerfeld of Chanel saying that people prefer skinny models and opposers are "‘These are fat mummies sitting with their bags of crisps"
Even Andreas Lebert, editor-in-chief of Germany's most popular women's magazine admitted that ""The whole model industry is anorexic." and "For years we've had to use Photoshop to fatten the girls up".
Louisa von Minckwitz, owner of Louisa Models said she understood the rage about underweight models but doubted that readers really wanted to buy a magazine to look at ordinary women.
Here are some female models who have died from anorexia nervosa.
Hila Elmalich. Elmalich died weighing 22 kilograms/49lbs, age 34. Her eating disorder had started around the time that she started her career at 13 years old.
Ana Carolina Reston At the time of her death, age 34, she weighed just 40 kg/88 lbs/ at a height 1.73 m/5 ft 8 in.
Sisters Luisel and Eliana Ramos Luisel died at age 22, weighing 44kg/96.8lbs Had a diet of lettuce and Diet Coke for the three months before she died.
Isabelle Caro Perhaps the most seen anorexic model in the "No Anorexia" campaigns. At her worst, she weighed 25kg/55lb and slipped into a coma.
Edit: formatting
This is the book: https://www.amazon.com/Brain-over-Binge-Recovery-Guide/dp/0984481745
I dealt with this when I was your age. It was really rough.
You don't have a lack of discipline, at least, it's not that simple. You have an eating disorder. Please...please seek help for this. It's going to hold you back until you do. Please, read this book if you're so inclined. It will do a much better job than I ever could of framing this in a bigger picture:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B000FCJYFK/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1
I love you, and I wish you nothing but the best. And I remember being your age, and dealing with this shit, and the short answer is that I can promise there is an outcome available to you that has this all not mattering to you, very soon. At least, from my perspective it will feel that way. Because the truth is that being your age was some of the worst times of my life, and it doesn't matter to me now.
I am 35, I went through this when I was 15 or so, and I now work in what is your equivalent of the greatest animation job ever. So please seek help for this thing that is bogging you down, and at some point you'll look back on these years and be proud of yourself for getting through it.
If you do think you have an ED then I recommend seeing a psychiatrist (not psychologist) to get a diagnosis. If you can't afford treatment I recommend 2 books that helped me work through my ED when I didn't have any health insurance Leora Fulvio, Reclaiming Yourself from Binge Eating and Kathryn Hansen, Brain Over Binge. They were simply God-sends. I know exactly how you feel. It takes time to work your way back up, but with patience, self-love and persistence, you'll be able to do it.
Yeah, it's a term for someone suffering from anorexia - the only people I really hear using it are girls who avidly read Wasted, though. :/
I'm...working on it. I went to therapy last year for it and the first therapist I saw told me that with what I told her, I really needed to get on medication or I would never take control of it. I did not like that, so I found someone else that would be interested in working with me and doing cognitive behavioral therapy. I didn't want to get on medication and just call it a day. I wanted to learn coping skills and add tools to my mental toolbox to help me break down my cycles of binging.
After I got with another therapist, I was assigned a book -
https://www.amazon.com/Relaxation-Reduction-Workbook-Harbinger-Self-Help/dp/1572245492
And I also got this one - https://www.amazon.com/Binge-Eating-Compulsive-Overeating-Workbook/dp/1572245913
Brain Over Binge is recommended here quite often, but I haven't read that one.
As for recovery? Well, as I said before, I'm still working on it. Currently I am 5 days binge free. My longest streak so far has been about 65 days and I'm proud of that. Am I going to slip up again in the future? Maybe. Am I going to binge today? No. That's the important part. I'm not going to binge today and tomorrow morning I'm going to wake up and do it all over again.
I'm a diagnosed ADHD person and in typical fashion, I haven't finished Your Life Can Be Better yet. It's chock-full of tips for folks with ADHD to learn how to person more effectively. However, I've already gotten a couple of great tips out of what little I've read, and I recommend checking it out. Here are those tips and a few others.
I'm sure their list of famous alumni is long.
If you know, Are eating disorders still a big problem there? I cant imagine they have gotten better, with all of the competition in a boarding school setting.
I did Overeater's anonymous and for about 4-6 months it really helped me and then I went back to my ED, I think because it was an avoidance thing rather than dealing with my underlying issues (though it def may work for other people). The Chemistry of Joy workbook was helpful to me and this book was a bit fluffy but the ideas in it are the same ones I've been working on w my therapist that have really helped me stop binge eating: https://www.amazon.com/When-You-Refrigerator-Pull-Chair/dp/0786885084
Another user on this sub posted that the book Brain Over Binge cured her bingeing, and I was feeling very desperate like you sound here, so I bought the book immediately. I got it on Kindle so I started reading it right away, and I couldn't stop reading. I'm almost done with it, and it's already helped stop a binge for me twice.
I've been trying to find the post I saw the comment in so I can thank the person who posted it, because I honestly feel "cured" right now. It's only been 2 days so of course I don't know if I am but I feel very positive.
Here's a link to in on Amazon for anyone interested: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01AZQJ1D0
Qcontinumum has great words for thoughts. First therapy, plus medication. I started taking medication a couple weeks ago because I was tired of feeling so depressed. I've already been in therapy for awhile. See what is covered by your insurance, it's absolutely worth it.
Second this book: https://www.amazon.com/When-You-Refrigerator-Pull-Chair/dp/0786885084 is what got me to stop being obsessed with my weight/food and actually lead me to lose weight too. It is very rare for me to have bad thoughts about my body now and it's been about 4 years since I've read it. If your library doesn't have that check out other books by the author, I've heard they're good too.
10lbs is nothing to have gained so far. My friend who is also overweight actually ended up thinner after pregnancy because she didn't gain a ton during. It sounds like you might be similar you don't have that much more to go.
You need to work on communicating with your bf. Either you weren't in the best head when talking about your feelings and could have come across accusatory or you were really well spoken and he is not validating your feelings. Your feelings on him doing those things are valid and should be expressed. Try to talk about things after you know how you want to say them and make sure he is mature with his listening.
Not saying your kid is a picky eater, but this is a great book on feeding kids: https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/162625110X/ It's a totally down to earth guide on children and food; removes all the stress from the parents. A lot of kids get stuck in ruts on they only want certain foods or it has to be in certain containers, or parents are forcing kids to "just try one bite" etc. anyway, I could go on and on. It's written by a speech language pathologist and a family doctor who both specialize in feeding issues.
Or it could be because your kid likes to talk at meals. :D
I wonder if you and your husband would be interested in doing something together.
Go to Amazon (or your favorite book site) and search for: binge eating disorder workbook
and look through the results and see what might be a good fit for you. Buy two copies -- physical copies with paper pages that you can write on. Make sure it's a workbook that asks you questions and makes you work through your answers. This book is an example of a book that you write your answers in. I haven't tried any of these personally, so you'll have to choose on your own.
You and husband together do two chapters each week. Share your answers. Bring him on the inside of your secrecy veil. Turn off the shame -- this is a disorder and it's fixable, it's not a moral/ethical failing or make you a bad person. So shame/guilt is misplaced, but you do have work to do and without therapy options then you are your own therapy.
Talk through the questions. Share openly. He's your husband, he's an intimate. He isn't a therapist and he will do things that therapists shouldn't -- and you'll both have to muddle through that. But if you think you can do it, this is an option.
Ok, I get what you're saying, but 'slight OCD' sort of isn't a thing. Either you meet criteria for the disorder as defined by the official Diagnostic manual or similar, or you don't have OCD. The 'D' is for disorder. If it's not dis-ordering your life (as in, causing you an actual problem going about your daily business) it's just part of natural human variations in mood and personality. Some people have a natural tendency to get fixated on things a bit, but there are specific features that distinguish OCD from just generally thinking about a thing you're interested in a lot. There's usually a massive element of guilt or fear to the OCD theme, so just having a lot of thoughts about a body part tends not to be OCD per se. Unless you also somehow believe your hairline is immoral, dangerous, or committing criminal acts when you're not looking :P
However, you're entirely right, having frequent obsessive irrational thoughts over part of your appearance IS usually classified as Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD), if the thoughts are strongly affecting you, intruding into your mind even when you'd prefer to think about something else, and present for long periods of time (like, multiple hours every day). Thinking that you're balding at 18 years old sounds pretty irrational, tbh. Also taking daily pictures of your hairline and repeatedly asking multiple professionals and people online to confirm that your hairline is ok, yet never being satisfied with their answers...these are suspiciously BDD-like traits. As is being 'afraid' to get your hair cut.
If this problem persists, it might be an idea for you to consult the BDD foundation (here's their website: http://bddfoundation.org/ ) for advice and resources, and possibly ask your doctor to refer you to mental health services. They will be able to confirm what your issue might be and help you with treatment to re-train your brain into a healthier patterns.
If you don't think it merits seeing a doctor yet, you can try DIY-ing the right therapeutic techniques with a self-help book. Assuming it is something along the lines of BDD (and if you get the book and none of the examples sound like you at all, obviously....reconsider), this one's written by a well-known expert in BDD and OCD and might be helpful to you: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Overcoming-Problems-including-Dysmorphic-Disorder/dp/1845292790/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1481808500&sr=8-1&keywords=body+dysmorphic+disorder
Here's the original source text on HAES to get you started. The Kindle edition is only $1.99. And it's a really engaging read.
Oh my god, same tbh. Like yesterday I just… inhaled a bunch of grapes, and did so today for breakfast, and then went back for other stuff that I normally never would’ve.
On one hand, part of me is like ‘oh no I’ve flipped around and I’m binging out and this is terrible and I’ll never be normal again’ but I think one thing that is helping is like I’m trying this based on stuff that was in the Fuck it Diet book where it… actually outlines feeling precisely this way, and takes you through it in terms of why you’re reacting like that and what’s going on mentally.
While I don’t necessarily agree with everything in the book - and in fact, disagree pretty hard with some areas - the parts where it describes like - basically thinking of it as if your body has been NOT eating for a while and on that level doesn’t KNOW that the food supply it now has access to isn’t going to suddenly stop again (i.e. you’ve been putting your body through an artificial famine) it’s just going to overload on things.
So what she suggests is just to give in to it, to kind of like - not forever - let yourself reassure your body that food is going to be there, that it doesn’t HAVE to be anxious, that you CAN have it if you want it, and to think of that as the first step of recovery. Only after that initial reassurance is there on a very subconscious level (and I know in my case, it definitely isn’t yet) can you start to actually return to some kind of normalcy.
That’s why I’m treating the way I just am craving fucking everything as a chance to like just sit back and log exactly what it is I’m craving and in a way trying to enjoy or go with it. Like, what DO I want? How is my mood affecting me? Was this worth it? Did I enjoy it as much as I expected? And seeing it as part of a process and letting it take as long as it needs, mostly.
As someone who has a bit of a history with EDs, I was starting to read Marya Hornbacher's [Wasted] (http://www.amazon.com/Wasted-Memoir-Anorexia-Bulimia-P-S/dp/B003JTHRBO) when I came across the following quote. I totally changed my perspective on why EDs are more common today, why I had my run with it, and that being someone obsessed with basically making myself disappear wasn't healthy in any way. Also that I was stronger than that; my value has to do with who I am, not my waist measurements. It just really got me thinking.
Here's the quote:
"That is, to me, a far cry better than once upon a time, when it and I shared a bed, a brain, a body, when my sense of worth was entirely contingent upon my ability to starve. A strange equation, and an altogether too-common belief: One's worth is exponentially increased with one's incremental disappearance."
Im currently working through this:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/0984481745/ref=cm_cr_othr_mb_bdcrb_top?ie=UTF8
Its amazing. We binge for the simple reason we have the urge to binge. Not for deep psychological reasons. Its a hangover from our hunter gathering past where behaviours that resulted in high caloric food were rewarded and resulted in urges to repeat the behaviour.
If you recognise the urge, you can dismiss it- without will piwer- its no longer a battle (fighting against the pain of a psychic wound or ravaging adduction) its dismissing a bad habbit. I cant do it justice but its a concept that was new to me bug spoke to me after a lifetime of therapy and soul searching as to what emotional baggage was causing this behaviour. Im so excited for the future now without this albatross around my neck.
This is part 2 of the other reply. I separated it because the other was getting long and this will have a different flavor to it anyway. I'm trying to collect resources here that will act as the best substitute for what you will get in therapy that you can start using to make a difference now. I'm no expert of course, but I've been down a few of the same roads before and I at least know part of what they will tell you in advance :)
> Well I am extremely panicky about going downstairs as I really don't know my grandparents well. Also they don't like the food I cook (strong spices) so they make little comments. Also, I have a fear I have always had, of eating in front of people. Plus I can't stand eating noises. I can get food no problem, I always try to have some carrots and fruit in my room along with some bread, but it's not really a replacement for a home cooked meal. I also (irrationally) fear people judging me if I buy something.
These are the areas in addition to the anorexia where therapy will be the most beneficial. There are a few main things that therapy will provide for you, and some of them you don't have to wait for a professional to tell you to start getting benefits. The first thing you get in therapy is patient education. In your case, "What is anxiety, how often and in what ways does it affect people, and what treatments or strategies tend to be effective for managing this?", and "What is anorexia, how often and in what ways does it affect people, and what treatments or strategies tend to be effective for managing this?". It's dangerous to assume that just because you are personally experiencing these phenomena that you know the answers to these questions... In my case, my biggest struggle has been with depression, and even well into my treatment in professional therapy, I didn't understand that "feeling sad" wasn't even a necessary component of depression, and that really held me back for a long time from understanding/believing that depression was truly what I was going through.
To this end, I've gone and done some basic searching to find the reading that I would do if I were in your shoes. These are by no means the only or best resources, but given that I know very little about eating disorders, the random google search will tend to be far more practical and informative than it will be misleading:
http://www.recoveryranch.com/articles/eating-disorders/eating-disorder-your-life/
http://www.womenshealth.gov/publications/our-publications/fact-sheet/anorexia-nervosa.html
http://psychcentral.com/disorders/eating_disorders/
The second main thing that therapy will help you do is to learn how you interact with the world, and how your mind processes information it receives. In particular, most of these processes are invisible to us if we don't really slow down and learn to recognize the signs, and there are ways that they can go wrong, so that the information that reaches our conscious mind has been severely distorted as compared to objective reality. I want to emphasize here that there is no magic to therapy... it's pretty common in today's society to have this mental image of going into therapy and talking about your problems for an hour and then somehow the fact that you told all of this to a stranger suddenly makes you feel better. If that were the case I would tend to suspect such a person wasn't really in that much need of therapy in the first place. In my experience, the biggest gains from therapy come out of the work you do every day between sessions to change your mental state and environment. The professional guidance is important and useful to figure out where to focus your limited resources to have the most beneficial impact, and to help you understand what is and isn't genuine progress so that you don't fall prey to the traps of your own thinking, but the hard work is really done by you.
With that in mind, I think you might find some benefit from a good self-help workbook or two. The workbook aspect is key here, because a lot of the relief will come by actually doing the exercises recommended by the workbook, and answering the questions thoughtfully and learning about yourself during that self-reflection. These are the same things that therapy will generally ask you to do (although much more personalized and with other complicating factors taken into account), and I think you could expect at least some initial benefit. It will also help make the therapy sessions more productive once you are able to get to them, since you have some idea of what you are already trying to do, and the therapist will be able to help you understand the finer points more readily than if you are going in blind.
For anxiety and panic, the following two workbooks both come recommended by my therapist and my wife's (she also has panic attacks, though not as frequently now as before):
http://www.amazon.com/Anxiety-Phobia-Workbook-Edmund-Bourne/dp/1572248912
http://www.amazon.com/Panic-Attacks-Workbook-Program-Beating/dp/1569754152/
For the eating disorder, I suspect that something similar would be a good idea, but I unfortunately don't have any direct experience with this so I can't make any informed recommendations. The first book below is the most applicable that I can find that has reasonable reviews (although not as many as I would generally prefer), and the second is the most highly reviewed book that I can find about the relationship between food and emotions in general, but I think it tends to focus on overeating to avoid other emotional problems rather than a food disorder itself. This still could be helpful though because the relationship between food and emotions is always complicated, and a better understanding of this might help alleviate the fears you describe about weight gain and such.
http://www.amazon.com/The-Body-Image-Workbook-Eight-Step/dp/1572245468/
http://www.amazon.com/The-Food-Feelings-Workbook-Emotional/dp/0936077204/
That's a lot for now, I'll stop here and wait to see what you think of all this :)
How about Fat, I had this text for my anthropology of food and eating. I suspect you might find a little bit about beauty in there.
I love journaling. It can be so, so effective. There is power in cultivating a mindset where you are able to identify and express your feelings and deal with them without needing to bury them or distract yourself. I found books like Starting Monday and Food & Feelings Workbook to be really great resources on this topic. They teach a lot of stuff that is similar to what I've learned in therapy, but without the co-pay.
I've also seen a ton of benefits from incorporating mindfulness and meditation into my life. Since I started practicing my stress levels are much lower and I'm better able to manage my emotions and life's ups and downs. I practice Loving Kindness Meditation, but there are so many different kinds out there that each person can find what works for them.
Also, if you're not ready for therapy, try a book like this one https://www.amazon.com/Conquer-Picky-Eating-Teens-Adults/dp/1986385930/ref=sr_1_3?keywords=adult+picky+eating&qid=1564585969&s=books&sr=1-3
Professional counseling will absolutely help! I also recommend reading the book Eating in the Light of the Moon. It completely changed how I look at food. I struggled for a long time with anorexia, binge eating, over exercising and did a lot of work to get me healthy. But up until I read this book I really never understood why I struggled. Seriously, I've bought copies for all my female friends and if you were standing next to me I'd give you mine. It will change your life!
>X-posting this from /xxfitness. I realize this is not the typical progress post seen here but I believe it will still be useful to some of you.
>
>
>Hello all.
>What you clicked for:
>
>
>
>These are 9 months apart. August 2015 125lbs in the first, couple weeks ago and 145lbs in the second. Not pictured is a mid-point around the holidays where I was 155+lbs at a higher body fat % and didn't want to take any photos of myself. I drew on some underwear because I like to hang out naked and I don't want to scandalize you.
>
>Here are some more of my current body but in a glamour light to show my baby muscles:
>Unflexed/Flexed
>Back/Upper Body
>
>I know that physically this may not be a dramatic transformation but mentally it has been a game-changer.
>
>
>
>Workout:
>I am currently on week 6 of Strong Curves Bootyful Beginnings
>+one day where I do 3x8-12 assisted wide and narrow grip pull ups, 3x10-20 Cable Crunches and 3x12-20 Captain's chair knee raises
>+1-2 days of running 2-3 miles
>I also do about an hour of walking as part of my typical day.
>
>Diet:
>Currently reverse dieting, still have not found my maintenance
>As of this week:
>2300 35c/25p/40f
>Trying to eat 100% clean but reality gets in the way so more like 80-90%
>
>Story Time
>I have always been slim but am not naturally as thin as the first photo, and I have been even thinner. When I was 17 I got scouted to model (The one terrible photo of me in high school that I could find), . After dropping 30+ lbs to meet the industry standard of 35" (or less) hips I worked all over the world both on the runway and in print. It was an amazing opportunity and I am generally so thankful for the experience, but it was not easy to maintain that body and it was not healthy. As someone who had never before done any dieting or exercise for weight loss, who was caught up in the excitement of a new world, it took me a while to realize just how unhealthy I had become. And by then I had already grounded myself in a world where even a half inch gain can negatively affect your income and reputation. I didn't count calories then but I would guess I probably averaged less that 1000 net calories/day. Less if it was show season. I would try to go as long as possible before eating, saving up calories for the evening when I was alone and then binging on whatever foods I deemed "safe".I tried my best to remain healthy within those parameters, but obviously it wasn't possible.
>
>Last summer, after a couple years off, I decided to get back into modeling. In my off time I had allowed myself to gain weight but still viewed my thinner days as ideal. I decided to drop the weight again. I had convinced myself, somehow, that the trouble I was having with maintaining a sample size body before was due to lack of discipline, and not my body fighting to sustain itself. I didn't manage to get quite as thin as before but I got close enough and signed to an agency and booked jobs. I liked being back in this industry, surrounded by wonderful, weird, creative and talented people. But I was starving again and doing tons of cardio, burning calories i didn't really have to spare. I was anxious, depressed and the feeling of failure within my job was spreading to all other parts of my life.
>
>I struggled to reconcile wanting to be healthy with wanting to fulfill my professional duties. I found support in reading other models' struggles with meeting the industry standards and I thought hard about what I want from life and I decided I wanted a life where I was happy. So I ate. And I freaked out as I gained weight. I went to castings and didn't fit into the clothes. But I kept going.
>
>I have only been lifting regularly for four months now. I am not runway thin and I am not ripped but I am stronger and happier than before and that's all that matters. My mood is more stable and positive, I sleep better. I am no longer binging and restricting regularly and craving food constantly. I don't say no to social interactions because I'm worried of being around food. Recently I've actually been struggling with eating ENOUGH to sustain my activity and muscle development (never thought I'd say that). But I am also conscious of not replacing my old bad habits with a new unhealthy obsessions and all-or-nothing, perfectionist mentality. My approach to fitness and nutrition is fluid and changing as I constantly absorb more information and test out new rep ranges, rest periods, macro splits and etc. I fully expect failures along the way.
>
>Instead of trying to push my body into a pre-conceived ideal shape I am taking healthy, balanced actions towards a healthier me and letting them shape my body in turn. I am very lucky to have the full support of my current agency in this. I am no longer a "straight" size, and certainly not "plus" which puts me in an odd place as a model. I don't know what this means for the future of my career and that's ok. I have thighs, my hips will never be straight and narrow, I had to rip an old dress open to free myself because my shoulders got stuck. And yes, shaving my armpits has gotten more difficult. But I'm building myself up instead of tearing myself down and that is so much more satisfying and rewarding :).
>
>TL;DR: eating, lifting, no couture shows on my horizon
>X-posting this from /xxfitness. I realize this is not the typical progress post seen here but I believe it will still be useful to some of you.
>
>
>Hello all.
>What you clicked for:
>
>
>
>These are 9 months apart. August 2015 125lbs in the first, couple weeks ago and 145lbs in the second. Not pictured is a mid-point around the holidays where I was 155+lbs at a higher body fat % and didn't want to take any photos of myself. I drew on some underwear because I like to hang out naked and I don't want to scandalize you.
>
>Here are some more of my current body but in a glamour light to show my baby muscles:
>Unflexed/Flexed
>Back/Upper Body
>
>I know that physically this may not be a dramatic transformation but mentally it has been a game-changer.
>
>
>
>Workout:
>I am currently on week 6 of Strong Curves Bootyful Beginnings
>+one day where I do 3x8-12 assisted wide and narrow grip pull ups, 3x10-20 Cable Crunches and 3x12-20 Captain's chair knee raises
>+1-2 days of running 2-3 miles
>I also do about an hour of walking as part of my typical day.
>
>Diet:
>Currently reverse dieting, still have not found my maintenance
>As of this week:
>2300 35c/25p/40f
>Trying to eat 100% clean but reality gets in the way so more like 80-90%
>
>Story Time
>I have always been slim but am not naturally as thin as the first photo, and I have been even thinner. When I was 17 I got scouted to model (The one terrible photo of me in high school that I could find), . After dropping 30+ lbs to meet the industry standard of 35" (or less) hips I worked all over the world both on the runway and in print. It was an amazing opportunity and I am generally so thankful for the experience, but it was not easy to maintain that body and it was not healthy. As someone who had never before done any dieting or exercise for weight loss, who was caught up in the excitement of a new world, it took me a while to realize just how unhealthy I had become. And by then I had already grounded myself in a world where even a half inch gain can negatively affect your income and reputation. I didn't count calories then but I would guess I probably averaged less that 1000 net calories/day. Less if it was show season. I would try to go as long as possible before eating, saving up calories for the evening when I was alone and then binging on whatever foods I deemed "safe".I tried my best to remain healthy within those parameters, but obviously it wasn't possible.
>
>Last summer, after a couple years off, I decided to get back into modeling. In my off time I had allowed myself to gain weight but still viewed my thinner days as ideal. I decided to drop the weight again. I had convinced myself, somehow, that the trouble I was having with maintaining a sample size body before was due to lack of discipline, and not my body fighting to sustain itself. I didn't manage to get quite as thin as before but I got close enough and signed to an agency and booked jobs. I liked being back in this industry, surrounded by wonderful, weird, creative and talented people. But I was starving again and doing tons of cardio, burning calories i didn't really have to spare. I was anxious, depressed and the feeling of failure within my job was spreading to all other parts of my life.
>
>I struggled to reconcile wanting to be healthy with wanting to fulfill my professional duties. I found support in reading other models' struggles with meeting the industry standards and I thought hard about what I want from life and I decided I wanted a life where I was happy. So I ate. And I freaked out as I gained weight. I went to castings and didn't fit into the clothes. But I kept going.
>
>I have only been lifting regularly for four months now. I am not runway thin and I am not ripped but I am stronger and happier than before and that's all that matters. My mood is more stable and positive, I sleep better. I am no longer binging and restricting regularly and craving food constantly. I don't say no to social interactions because I'm worried of being around food. Recently I've actually been struggling with eating ENOUGH to sustain my activity and muscle development (never thought I'd say that). But I am also conscious of not replacing my old bad habits with a new unhealthy obsessions and all-or-nothing, perfectionist mentality. My approach to fitness and nutrition is fluid and changing as I constantly absorb more information and test out new rep ranges, rest periods, macro splits and etc. I fully expect failures along the way.
>
>Instead of trying to push my body into a pre-conceived ideal shape I am taking healthy, balanced actions towards a healthier me and letting them shape my body in turn. I am very lucky to have the full support of my current agency in this. I am no longer a "straight" size, and certainly not "plus" which puts me in an odd place as a model. I don't know what this means for the future of my career and that's ok. I have thighs, my hips will never be straight and narrow, I had to rip an old dress open to free myself because my shoulders got stuck. And yes, shaving my armpits has gotten more difficult. But I'm building myself up instead of tearing myself down and that is so much more satisfying and rewarding :).
>
>TL;DR: eating, lifting, no couture shows on my horizon
. . . How we talk about what we do matters. All bodies have cravings. When we talk about our decisions in ways that require taking responsibility for our behavior, we're more likely to succeed. But sure, if you'd like to continue fearing your body, go for it.
>I don't know how, but I'm losing by changing my relationship with food -
Actually, it sounds like you know EXACTLY how, which is great! Take credit for it. It's not magic. It's work.
Edit: Also recommend this Geneen Roth book! I really do wish you well.
See a therapist. They can help you not only sort out some of the shit in your life, or at least help you learn how to deal with it, but help you learn to separate food from your emotions and develop a healthy relationship with food. Seeing one who specializes in eating disorders/weight issues may be particularly helpful. If you can't afford a therapist, try checking with your city council for programs that provide these types of services for no or low-cost. Other options include support groups and self-help books designed to teach you about healthy eating in a mental health context, such as this one.
You know what you need to do, but it seems like other things going on in your life are (rightfully) taking more attention than slimming down. I think it's really, really important that you deal with those issues first or at the same time as dealing with your weight.
Good luck to you!
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Overcoming-Problems-including-Dysmorphic-Disorder/dp/1845292790/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
In addition to Yalom and Oliver Sacks:
The Center Cannot Hold: My Journey Through Madness by Ellen Saks
Man's Search For Meaning by Viktor Frankl
Wasted: A Memoir of Anorexia and Bulimia by Marya Hornbacher
The Mummy at the Dining Room Table - Eminent Therapists Reveal Their Most Unusual Cases and What They Teach Us About Human Behavior by Jeffrey Cottler and Jon Carlson
This and a used copy of this. Thank you for the contest!
Eating in the Light of the Moon is a book that I really related to. It's not direct stories of recovery, but it's inspiring nonetheless.
Bibliophile. Taking this picture made me realize how badly I need to clean and re-organize that shelf. Anyway. That top row is DVDs, so disregard that. Next is true crime books (I'm a major true crime junkie), and the bottom row is anything that isn't true crime. I used to have a ton more books, but I think a lot are at my moms, or lost to various moves over the years.
As far as recommendations, I love Wasted by Marya Hornbacher. It's a very good but heavy read.
I'm not sure what kind of feeling you're hoping to get, but as far as quality goes I can't recommend Wasted: A Memoir of Anorexia and Bulimia highly enough. The subject matter is grim, but the woman is a genius, and her writing is beyond beautiful. It's a beautiful, dark book with jagged edges, and extremely well-researched.
Good luck on your journey. This is a good book for working on your relationship with food. https://www.amazon.com/Food-Feelings-Workbook-Course-Emotional/dp/0936077204/ref=zg_bs_282911_28?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=XDKGNFRQYP1DPHZMJ7FA
Oh - and how could I forget - read everything you can get your hands on by Geneen Roth.
I LOVE her. Love love love. She changed my life; my whole outlook on my body and weight and how to live without letting it rule my life.
The easiest to start with is this:https://www.amazon.com/When-You-Refrigerator-Pull-Chair/dp/0786885084/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8, and the 'When Food is Love' is also amazing.
Awesome! I’m about 1/3 of way through her second book too which is also amazing.
The Brain over Binge Recovery Guide: A Simple and Personalized Plan for Ending Bulimia and Binge Eating Disorder https://www.amazon.com/dp/0984481745/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_RYm4AbW05MTFQ
Eating in the Light of the Moon
She was actually reading it for herself when I walked into my last session. It hasn't arrived yet and I've never really read anything like this before so I'm not sure what to expect, but I'm hoping I find it useful.
It's hard for me to say, as I'm an unusually internally directed person, aka stubborn. For me, change always comes after an ugly realization I can't deny or ignore. Marya Hornbacher's book "Wasted" was definitely eye opening for me- I saw all my symptoms in her experience. It's a wonderful book, I personally think it should be taught in schools. https://www.amazon.com/Wasted-Anorexia-Bulimia-Marya-Hornbacher-ebook/dp/B000FCJYFK/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1538339555&sr=8-1&keywords=marya+hornbacher
Another thing that shifted my opinion on what was going on was learning about starvation experiments- the subjects, all totally normal men, developed those same anorexic symptoms. Through those stories I began to realize I might really be sick, and taking it seriously definitely helped me to turn it around.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Minnesota_Starvation_Experiment#Results
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Minnesota_Starvation_Experiment#Related_work
I do have a funny memory of the time when I didn't want to eat around other people. I was married then, and once my ex realized what I was doing he 'put his foot down' for the only time in our marriage. He insisted on us eating at the same time, and if he saw me eating he'd come and sit by me and refuse to leave. I knew he was right, and in his own hostile, controlling way he did help.
​
This book has been helpful to some people who are trying to stop binge eating: https://www.amazon.com/Brain-over-Binge-Recovery-Guide/dp/0984481745/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1500762860&sr=8-2&keywords=binge+eating
Didn't work for me, but a lot of people found it to be a useful tool.
need in mobi
https://www.amazon.com/Food-Girls-Using-Control-Feelings-ebook/dp/B004GB1IEG. $5
​
There's a ton of books, blogs, & podcasts that deal with emotional eating. You may not like them all but here are some recommendations:
Finally, while you are still in this low place, I would recommend filling up on foods that are high volume/low calorie so you don't find yourself quite as hungry for foods that are low volume/high calorie. Snack on carrots, broccoli, bell peppers, etc. before you tackle the oreos, ice cream. But by all means don't deny yourself the food, just eat some carrots first and if you still want ice cream after, have at it.
This is not an issue about weight loss ultimately. You need to deal with the interplay of food & emotions first. Weight loss can come after that.
The binge purge cycle is totally detrimental. That's something I deal with as well. I'm not technically bulimic, but it's the closest clinical term.
I have also used laxatives as a tool for losing weight (we don't keep them in the house anymore). Not only is it extremely dangerous for all the reasons you listed, but the laxatives also become less and less effective over time. My issues came when I could no longer actually have normal bowel movements, even with a large dose of the laxatives.
It was an incredibly embarrassing situation that I don't ever talk about. I put my body in so much jeopardy. I'm sure that it impacts my ability to lose weight now, too.
I also deal with dysmorphia (the clinical term for distorted body image). I've pretty much come to terms with the fact that what my head sees and what the mirror shows and what pictures show rarely match. I also have the added bonus of a weird weight distribution. I'm one of those people that when someone hears how much I weigh they say, "that CAN'T be true!!!" and I'm like, "bitch come over here and I'll show you..." According to BMI (which I do realize is not a great measurement, but does provide a benchmark) I am obese. I ran a marathon 26 days ago, though.
Agh, I also can't remember where I was going with this.
Give your wife a hug. Let her know she's not alone. Let her know that you're so glad she's getting help and that you're proud of her for being strong today.
I definitely recommend that you get a good night's sleep. That will help the world seem a little brighter <3
As for reading material, Food: The Good Girl's Drug is the book I had my mom read to help better understand where I was. It's a little playful, but it covers some of the distorted thinking and patterns that you likely see in your wife.
I wish you the best of luck. <3
Thank you for your reply, I really appreciate you taking the time to provide me with information and share your story!
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This must be so challenging and frustrating for both you and your step son. My initial thought was along the lines of waiting until he was hungry, but we need to get more creative. In my research I found some books you might be interested in:
&#x200B;
- Food Chaining Book
- Picky Eating
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This dietitian specializes in ASD: https://www.jennyfriedmannutrition.com/
I don't know her at all but her Instagram is fabulous and she has an inexpensive eBook.
I've been reading this book, which I've found really helpful: Food The Good Girls Drug
It's part book and part journal, and it's been nice to get in touch with myself and see that other people have had similar problems.
A great book that's helped me recently has been this: http://www.amazon.com/Food-Girls-Using-Control-Feelings/dp/0425239039. It's Food: The Good Girl's Drug. It helped cement in my head that what I was doing was actually disordered eating and not just laziness, and helped me sort through my thought process.
I haven't read this before, but it looks good. I found the PDF manifesto and kindle ebook, it's only $1.80, so I'll read that for sure.
>I'll promise to eat regularly next time I'm manic if you will
I'm pretty much hypomanic right now, I've been hypomanic to manic for the past several months, which has been ... crazy. Much better than being depressed, however, since I'm usually the euphoric manic type, so it basically feels like I'm on coke all the time, which is not a bad thing.. especially as a former coke addict, I feel like I'm high without having to spend the money. I take a lot of supplements and /r/Nootropics so that has a lot to do with it. I'm off all psych meds and have been doing very well by using meditation and other techniques to keep my emotions under control. I am well aware of my triggers and always try to stay conscious of my state of mind and emotions. It seems to me that this is a big problem with bipolar people, they are too closely identified with their emotions. Eckhart Tolle has helped me a lot in this regard, to be more watchful of my own state of mind rather than identifying my own sense of self as my emotions, I identify as being in a a higher state of consciousness, I am that who observes my own life as it unfolds. This has helped me tremendously. I have a history of being a psychonaut, any my past use of psychedelics and entheogens has helped me tremendously, it is now a part of who I am and I'm grateful for what I have learned. I think it's pretty obvious to you now that I'm at least currently hypomanic/borderline manic. But I'm OK, really. It's Sunday, I don't have any stress, anxiety, etc. I'm just happy, really happy, honestly. This is my day off. However, when I'm at work, that's a whole different ball game. That is what I'm trying to work on, and you have helped me today, so thank you!
>yes.. you caught me.. i'm secretly you .. or possibly a talking cricket. :P
This is especially funny to me, because I actually believe that we are all just facets of the same ONE consciousness. ;-P
If you want to read something that I wrote recently, that I find personally mind-blowing, check this out:
http://www.reddit.com/r/DebateAChristian/comments/qkf7m/what_is_your_strongest_arguments_1_that_the/c3z27o8
Do not feel ashamed of this. More people struggle with selective eating than you realize.
Maybe this workbook can help:
https://www.amazon.com/Conquer-Picky-Eating-Teens-Adults/dp/1986385930/ref=asc_df_1986385930/?tag=hyprod-20&amp;linkCode=df0&amp;hvadid=316651574325&amp;hvpos=1o2&amp;hvnetw=g&amp;hvrand=16234498011871383615&amp;hvpone=&amp;hvptwo=&amp;hvqmt=&amp;hvdev=m&amp;hvdvcmdl=&amp;hvlocint=&amp;hvlocphy=9029705&amp;hvtargid=pla-516358702954&amp;psc=1
I read their book for parents of extremely picky eaters (ARFID or SED) and thought it was worthwhile.
Good luck!! I think you’re already ahead of the game by being willing to work on this at the MTC and being open with your mission president.
Good--I really think that this is a matter of finding the underlying causes of your emotional eating, not just overcoming it through sheer willpower. You might also check out the book Women, Food and God.