(Part 2) Best fatherhood books according to redditors

https://www.amazon.com/Expectant-Father-Ultimate-Dads-Be/dp/0789212129/ref=sr_1_1_sspa?gclid=Cj0KCQjwn8_mBRCLARIsAKxi0GIQZAT9DkdzjY93ocM6HSo5H1ReLLLmiAW4UEe55jnVC91WEfYiD_waAh8AEALw_wcB&hvadid=174213914372&hvdev=c&hvlocphy=9011162&hvnetw=g&hvpos=1t1&hvqmt=b&hvrand=4452630806437102253&hvtargid=kwd-810889235&hydadcr=24629_9648897&keywords=so+your+going+to+be+a+dad&qid=1557414688&s=gateway&sr=8-1-spons&psc=1

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Your lives are GREATLY going to change after a baby. Especially the first few years, you're going to need to be a TEAM. He can't just off and go skiing at his leisure without some sort of plan or support system for you and if you need him to be there, then he's just going to have to make that sacrifice and vice versa. Having a baby is a huge responsibility. Maybe the reality of it hasn't hit him yet and it does take a while for men, but maybe this book will help him and his expectations. Maybe you two could even sit down and read it together. My husband and I read books about marriage and parenting together because my husband hates reading, so I read them out loud and he listens and responds. It's a great bonding tool but also a great resource for the future.

http://www.amazon.com/Strong-Fathers-Daughters-Secrets-Father/dp/1596980125

After my daughter was born, my wife suggested I read this book. Took me about 3 days to read... completely changed my perspective on how different males/females really are.

The biggest thing I took from this book is that, as a father, you are your daughter's first love. So treat her like that. Be caring, loving, a good listener, and have empathy. But, also be the alpha male. Be a morally, strong leader.

For all the fathers out there, I HIGHLY recommend this book.

Congrats. We're expecting twins early next year. These will be our first, and I've been reading books like crazy to get prepped. the one that I found the most informative to me was this: Becoming a Father: How to Nurture and Enjoy Your Family .

Good luck, I hope this helps.

Sounds like a great opportunity to depend on God and grow in faith.

Books:

http://www.catholicgentleman.net/book/

http://www.amazon.com/Imitation-Christ-Dover-Thrift-Editions/dp/0486431851

http://cart.dynamiccatholic.com/Free-The-Four-Signs-of-a-Dynamic-Catholic-p/1fs-sc.htm

http://www.amazon.com/Christian-Fatherhood-Burnham-Steve-Wood/dp/0972757163/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1463572670&sr=1-2&keywords=christian+fatherhood

http://www.ignatius.com/Products/JWAY-P/josephs-way-the-call-to-fatherly-greatness.aspx

http://cart.dynamiccatholic.com/Free-Every-Mans-Journey-p/1emj-sc.htm

http://cart.dynamiccatholic.com/Free-Mission-of-the-Family-p/1motf-sc.htm

http://cart.dynamiccatholic.com/Free-A-Father-Who-Keeps-His-Promises-p/1fkp-sc.htm

http://cart.dynamiccatholic.com/Free-The-One-Thing-p/1ot-sc.htm

http://cart.dynamiccatholic.com/Free-Journey-to-God-p/1jtg-sc.htm

CDs:

https://www.lighthousecatholicmedia.org/store/title/facing-your-fears

https://www.lighthousecatholicmedia.org/store/title/the-3-stages-of-the-interior-life

https://www.lighthousecatholicmedia.org/store/title/contemporary-sainthood

https://www.lighthousecatholicmedia.org/store/title/becoming-the-best-version-of-yourself

https://www.lighthousecatholicmedia.org/store/title/discerning-god-s-will

Much more at:

http://dynamiccatholic.com/

https://www.lighthousecatholicmedia.org/

http://www.ignatius.com/

Typically a single father family will do better than a single mother family, although considering that it is much less common it seems likely that many of the men who would end up being single fathers are simply more engaged parents.

I can't cite any research on this, but I suspect fathers with custody deny access to the mother with less frequency than mothers do. This is based mostly on my own experience with many separated fathers. Whether this is out of the goodness of their hearts or out of fear of a judge reassessing a case is a personal thing.

Research is limited, partly because single fathers are rare compared to single mothers and partly because there is still a a cultural dismissal of fatherhood. I did find this paper which suggests that academic performance between single-mother and single-father families are roughly the same (with two-parent families outperforming both).

Warren Farrell, who wrote a book called "Father and Child Reunion" says:
>While the intact family is the winner, Father and Child Reunion makes it clear why, if divorce cannot be prevented, children being primarily with their dads gives children more of both parents than when they are primarily with their mothers; reduces a mother's economic dependency on a man, and reduces men's ten times greater suicide rate after divorce.

>Does Dr. Farrell conclude, then, that men are better at fathering than women are at mothering? No. But he does conclude that we have been waging a "War Against Fathers" – and mothers and children are among the losers.

I don't know of any research on two fathers, although I imagine they would tend to do a decent job since they would have to actively seek out a child instead of just having one "just happen" to them.

Sounds like this is your first? Congrats on becoming a dad!

If it helps, from what I've heard I think that's pretty common. Can I recommend a book? I really like The New Father. There's some sections in there that talk about how to deal with situations that sound very similar to yours. (I tried to dig up the section that I was thinking of so I could copy-paste it, but I couldn't find it - sorry.)

I'd start by making sure you're having lots of honest communication with your fiance. In your post, you talk about how you're feeling, but you don't mention her feelings. Why is she acting this way? Is she exhausted? Overwhelmed? Different people react to stress in different ways, so don't try to work backwards from her actions and guess at her motivations. Communication will be key here!

Some concrete advice:

1. See if you can set up a ritual that allows you to have 15 minutes of conversation with one another every day, no exceptions. You may also find it helpful to have a "no-kid-talk" policy, to give yourselves a break from your infant-centered lives.
   
   
2. Read that dad book! I've found it really helpful.
   
   
3. For intimacy, try taking some of the pressure off. Not all intimacy needs to lead to sex. What if you offered your fiance a no-strings-attached back rub?
   
   
4. Talk to your fiance about postpartum depression. It affects a lot of new parents - the percentage is very high! I'm not saying that's what's going on here, but be aware it could be a factor.

Is this it?

Find out what foods you need to avoid while pregnant (including how much caffeine is safe, what herbal teas are off limits, and which fish have high levels of mercury), and what drugs you should not be taking (e.g. ibuprofen is typically not baby friendly). There are different schools of thought around all of this and a lot more.

As far as books, "What to Expect When You're Expecting" is a best seller and not a bad place to start. https://www.amazon.com/What-Expect-When-Youre-Expecting/dp/0761187480/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1525410573&sr=8-2&keywords=maternity+book

Once you get to the buying stuff stage the book "Baby Bargains" is pretty good. https://www.amazon.com/Baby-Bargains-Secrets-Saving-strollers/dp/188939257X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1525410646&sr=8-1&keywords=baby+bargains+book+2018

If you're totally lost, you can always reach out and connect with a Doula (even early in pregnancy) - though this can be pricey. Doulas have a wealth of knowledge. The hospital that you will deliver at also probably has resources and links set up on their website.

https://www.amazon.com/Thank-Being-Amazing-Love-Journal/dp/1540363767/ something like this would be meaningful and personal :)

Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters is very Christian-centric, which may or may not be your cup of tea. In case it isn't, here are a few alternatives:

What I Told My Daughter

Dads and Daughters

A Father's Guide to Raising Daughters

I have a daughter, and while I understand that eventually there will be issues in her life that are girl- and woman-specific, my philosophy is that she is still my child first. It's about guiding a child into becoming a person who makes good decisions in their life. Which means I suggest looking more at parenting books that talk about the kind of parenting style you hope to use first, you know?

I'll definitely check that one out. Hoping This one helps too

Baby will likely be asleep when you go home. Stop off and get mom whatever she wants to eat. Her diet has been restricted, so she may kill for a Sub or hot dog something.

Mine had a C section. Really cool to watch, not that scary or gross. Doctors really tug on the baby sometimes to get it out, don't freak. Having some stuff from home, especially pyjamas and a pillow, are wonderful. Prego pjs will still fit. She won't get that much smaller at first.

For right after, this book saved my life. We checked it several times a day for the first few weeks instead of constantly calling our Dr.

It's not about finances but...
My brother gave this journal to our parents last Christmas. https://www.amazon.com/Fathers-Legacy-Terri-Gibbs/dp/0849995736/ref=mp_s_a_1_28?keywords=memory+journals&qid=1554607353&s=gateway&sr=8-28
If you'd love to share your memories with your daughter butt don't know how, this questionnaire is creative start. But that depends on what you wish to communicate to her and family. All I know is you can find a way to still be a part of her in a journal.
Good luck on your adventures my reddit friend!

I bought my husband this with our first child and he loved it! He learned so much in a format that didn’t make him feel like an idiot. Highly recommend this book and we buy it for all our new dad friends when they have diaper parties! Men unfortunately just do not like researching things like this publicly. We have found that when given this book as a gift they will read it but won’t seek it out on their own. My husband was SO supportive through both our pregnancies and births and I absolutely think it was because he had this book. He asked informed questions at our dr appointments and after them at home, when we had to have an emergency cesarean with our first, I was freaking out. We had had a failed 36 hour induction, and he was like the calm in the middle of a proverbial shit storm through it all. Get “dude, you’re gonna be a dad!” And I believe there’s a follow up too called,”dude, you’re a dad!”

Edit: here’s a link to the follow up. It deals with what to expect in the first year, what to look out for as signs of ppd, and the changes to expect in your relationships and how to manage them.

https://www.amazon.ca/dp/1440541124/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_t1_-4t7CbJ992GAK

Perhaps read this?

To add to that advice, I wish I had done a guided father journal with my dad.

I LOVED having one for my son. I was quite meticulous in filling it out, and am going to do the same for the next. We were gifted one for son (which turned out to be a $40 album so I won't be buying that for my second), but I like this one a lot: https://www.amazon.ca/gp/product/161519097X/ref=ox_sc_act_title_1?smid=A3DWYIK6Y9EEQB&psc=1

I bought this for my soon to be daughter (due the 14th of October - canadian thanksgiving weekend)

https://www.amazon.com/Baby-Album-Sophie-girafe%C2%AE-Second/dp/1615195033/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3Q3GBCC0AG9FT&keywords=sophie+the+giraffe+baby+book&qid=1567002188&s=gateway&sprefix=sophie+the+giraffe+baby%2Caps%2C155&sr=8-1

I know this sounds silly but actually this book It's a really easy read, but has some great stuff in it. I got it for my son's father because it actually had stuff pertaining to our specific situation in it.

Please note: "How to Raise a Boy Feminists Will Hate" is an Actual Title. http://www.amazon.com/Raising-Boys-Feminists-Will-Hate/dp/1618080458/ (Doug Giles)

Other Titles By Giles:

Raising Righteous and Rowdy Girls
http://www.amazon.com/Raising-Righteous-Rowdy-Girls-Giles/dp/0983175128/

Rise-Kill-Eat: The Theology of Hunting from Genesis to Revelation
http://www.amazon.com/Rise-Kill-Eat-Theology-Revelation/dp/1495109348