Best funny erotic books according to redditors
We found 222 Reddit comments discussing the best funny erotic books. We ranked the 65 resulting products by number of redditors who mentioned them. Here are the top 20.
We found 222 Reddit comments discussing the best funny erotic books. We ranked the 65 resulting products by number of redditors who mentioned them. Here are the top 20.
Just going to leave this here.
https://www.amazon.com/Conquered-Clippy-Erotic-Digital-Desires-ebook/dp/B00UJ01WBW/
Well, uhh... there are all sorts of people in this funny world we live in.
https://www.amazon.com/Conquered-Clippy-Erotic-Digital-Desires-ebook/dp/B00UJ01WBW/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1509554987&sr=8-2&keywords=clippy+romance
well you asked
These, however, are all too real:
http://amzn.com/B00QZJWD0U
http://amzn.com/B00UJ01WBW
http://amzn.com/B00O14EKZM
Has no one ever heard of Chuck Tingle around here? Clippy Erotic Fiction is a thing!
For those looking for more, t-there's a book too.
God please if there's a hell let it be gentle
In the other thread they mention a whole book.
Those have nothing on Conquered by Clippy: An Erotic Short Story . Nothing tops the frank eroticism of Clippy.
That's on the milder side of Clippy's erotica:
https://www.amazon.com/Conquered-Clippy-Erotic-Digital-Desires-ebook/dp/B00UJ01WBW
https://www.amazon.com/Conquered-Clippy-Erotic-Digital-Desires-ebook/dp/B00UJ01WBW
Links to the short fiction nominations, which are mostly published online for free:
Best Short Story
Best Novelette
https://www.amazon.ca/Conquered-Clippy-Erotic-Digital-Desires-ebook/dp/B00UJ01WBW
Seeing as how this is the actual name, and premise of a fiction book, I think you're wrong.
"Alien Stripper Boned From Behind By The T-Rex"
My Dad Wrote a Porno!
Yes, I know how it sounds... but it is absolutely hilarious. It is three friends: Jamie, James, and Alice who commentate as Jamie reads aloud an "erotic novel" written by his dad. There's no feasible way to describe it where it doesn't sound disgustingly odd. Their British accents make smut sound posh (in my opinion) and they are incredibly witty. The writing is awful and is one giant r/badwomensanatomy post, so it is funny, not sexy. Obviously it contains foul language and adult topics, so it may not appeal to all. That being said, everyone I have forced to listen to it is now addicted: male and female, aged 25-58! There's a subreddit, too, but it's not super active.
The book is called Belinda Blinked, and can be found on Amazon. You can read some reviews there, mostly by people listening to the podcast.
https://www.amazon.com/Conquered-Clippy-Erotic-Digital-Desires-ebook/dp/B00UJ01WBW
Rule 34
Plus this erotic short story
Here is also one with Clippy
https://www.amazon.com/Conquered-Clippy-Erotic-Digital-Desires-ebook/dp/B00UJ01WBW
Did he?
There's a couple different routes you could go.
I've not used it myself, but Vellum is spoken of as the one of the nicest options. It's also quite pricey, but you could easily pay somebody to format it for you if you don't want to shell out the hundred or so bucks to have the program yourself.
Scrivener is another app that is spoken of highly. I've used neither of them personally, so take that with a grain of salt.
You could hand format it. Salacious Stories made a guide for erotica shorts, but I would imagine it would work for novels. It has the added advantage of Sal being a moderator on here who chooses to spend his free time being super goddamn helpful, and so if you have questions you can ask him directly.
The easiest route would be downloading it as a docx, ands chucking that into Kindle Create.
I'm not a formatting guru (though there are quite a few who hang out here), so I can only be of limited help, but that's the advice I'm capable of giving.
Congrats on getting your first novel done! Here's a celebratory tune I wrote just for you.
♪ Those smutbux will be coming round the mountain when they coooome ♪
♪ Those smutbux with be coming round the mountain when they coooome ♪
♪ Well enough with the chatter ♪
♪ Give me my happily ever after! ♪
♪ Those smutbux will be coming when they cooooooome ♪ ♪
https://www.amazon.com/Conquered-Clippy-Erotic-Digital-Desires-ebook/dp/B00UJ01WBW
omg this is real.
Some erotica relevant to your comment
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Conquered-Clippy-Erotic-Digital-Desires-ebook/dp/B00UJ01WBW
Clippy was featured in an erotic novel called "Conquered by Clippy: An Erotic Short Story"
You can buy it here
Here you go.
Wait, and get this too!
this is relevant
https://www.amazon.com/Conquered-Clippy-Erotic-Digital-Desires-ebook/dp/B00UJ01WBW
Even I never get the goddamn title right. :)
A
DirtyFilthy BookStoryin aPrettyFancy DressHave you seen his other book?
Conquered by Clippy
I want to use Amazon's 'Read for Free' on this, but I share my Kindle account with my dad...
thank you please CRITIC my book as a bud and a HARD friend. this is important to KNOW yourself and to [learn that all books are real thank you] (http://www.amazon.com/Leonardo-Decaprico-Finally-Award-Pounds-ebook/dp/B01BNZMD5A/)
please understand that i am the top dog and best author of our generation
Mandatory Link:
"Savaged by Systemd, an Erotic Unix Encounter", an actual book you can buy:
https://www.amazon.com/Savaged-Systemd-Erotic-Unix-Encounter-ebook/dp/B075DYXZW1
It's super easy to learn, honestly I would recommend anyone who self publishes to learn this part of the process because it is best to have fine control of it.
So learn up on some basic CSS, read this book but instead of doing all the stuff she says about formatting the text in word (search and replace), copy and paste your word document into this tool and let it do allll the work for you.
Otherwise, play with different CSS on your title pages (look at other authors for ideas), learn to embed custom fonts (fancy), and learn how to code a TOC from scratch (not hard! it's basic css).
I use Sigil personally because it gives me fine control of everything. You can use Calibre as she instructs, but Sigil is XHTML and will get pissed off if you screw anything up so it's a bit safer to me.
Why hand formatting instead of just grabbing Vellum and formatting for people? Vellum doesn't teach you shit, and you'll give people a better KENP by doing handformatting. You can do all that fancy Vellum shit with handformatting, and you can squeeze more pages out of it which is what everyone wants. How many more pages?
Some more schmuck uploaded this long ass story from a word document to Amazon and got 200 pages out of it. Using proper formatting, it went to 600+ pages. That is an uncommon example, but handformatting is nearly always better.
Re: formatting — there’s a guide by SalaciousStories on the FAQ that’s only 2.99 or something. I’m not familiar with Udemy or Skillshare, but I really wouldn’t pay for a course on it. Good luck!!
ETA: so my guess is I can link this one?
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00WIPMMEC
https://www.amazon.com/Savaged-Systemd-Erotic-Unix-Encounter-ebook/dp/B075DYXZW1
This is some Conquered by Clippy bullshit going on
Only Memes? https://www.amazon.com/Savaged-Systemd-Erotic-Unix-Encounter-ebook/dp/B075DYXZW1
https://www.amazon.com/Savaged-Systemd-Erotic-Unix-Encounter-ebook/dp/B075DYXZW1
I think you should check this out if that's the case.
I'm going to second Henkel's guide being out of date and broken. I used his guide to format my first novel and my KENP was atrocious. Salacious really took the time out of his day to help me fix it. Use his book instead, it's up to date!
Filthy Book in a fancy dress
Avoid using Word to create anything with HTML coding. In my experience, Word likes to add all kinds of kludgy bloat to the file to make it really damn obvious you coded it with Word. You want to use a far more barebones text editor like Notepad, Notepad++, or Jarte (there are others out there as well) if you're going to manually format. I wouldn't be surprised if something about how Word is handling the HTML coding is what's fucking up your font display.
Edit to add: For a good guide on formatting, you might consider checking out A Filthy Book In A Fancy Dress. There's a lot of step by step explanations in there on how to handle manually coding your books.
OK, I'll start things off. I had a pretty good week - sales picked up from the previous week, and my latest stories are doing pretty well.
The most important thing though is that yesterday I successfully hand-coded an ebook! Using the great guide "A Filthy Book in a Fancy Dress" as well as Guido Henkel's guide, I was able to reformat an existing book, add in all the backmatter, convert it to an epub file, upload it to Amazon and test it out on my new Kindle - and it looks great! I strongly recommend both those guides to anyone who is thinking about starting hand coding. I was helped by the fact that I'm very computer savvy, but I think anyone could get the hang of it with some practice!
So this week the goal will be to reformat a bunch of my existing books, starting with the newest books and the top sellers. Extra smutbux, here I come!
Would the quality of such fiction be comparable to the masterpiece of fiction that is Conquered By Clippy?
So, I couldn't find any definitive answer to this saddly... though one link sent me on a dive down quite a rabbit whole leading to... this . Doesn't really clear anything up... at all.. and now I feel moderately uncomfortable having this irl Clippy staring me down all day o_O. Maybe I'll turn him/her to face the door in my office to stare down visitors instead.
This is all you need: https://www.amazon.com/Savaged-Systemd-Erotic-Unix-Encounter-ebook/dp/B075DYXZW1
Now that I got that out of the way, on a serious note, I have been looking for books like this too for some time.
Russinovich is a writer a great writer. I have only read Trojan Horse but his other novels are on my to-read-at-some-point list.
Didn't like Freedom by Suarez that others have suggested, it had it's moments but overall, meh.
Dan Browns Digital Fortress was also a very enjoyable read at least for me. I know some people can't stand his style of writing but check it out if you're interested in crypto.
I don't know how to reply to this so I'm just going to say that clippy is a rapist.
I got a bundle with Write. Publish. Repeat., Let's get Digital, and How to Market an E-book. Good stuff. I think they have a podcast too, though I forget what it's called.
Did you use tabs to get the indents? I can pretty up the format, but honestly, taking out all the tabs is just too much work. There's this book you can check out too.
Clippy really wants dat ass.
EDIT: JESUS IN HEAVEN WHY? http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Minions-Me-Erotic-Short-ebook/dp/B0175BAXNK/ref=pd_sim_sbs_351_4?ie=UTF8&dpID=41PsoWs4i5L&dpSrc=sims&preST=_OU02_AC_UL160_SR100%2C160_&refRID=0JYG5TS1NN540NP49R2H
Conquered by Clippy: an erotic short story
By the same author:
http://www.amazon.com/Conquered-Clippy-Erotic-Digital-Desires-ebook/dp/B00UJ01WBW
You can use Amazon's preview as you publish, but the best way to get a clean finished product, IMO, is converting everything to .mobi before you upload. You just get so many chances to look at it as the reader will see it.
I use a combo of what I've learned from Guido Henkel, u/SalaciousStories' A Filthy Book in a Fancy Dress, and my own experiences and techniques, but the last step is always to open it up in Kindle Previewer and see exactly what the customer will see.
The author seems to have other stories about being "taken by technology" and one about minions
Yeah, I use Calibre for every one of my books.
Is it as flashy as Vellum or some other software for ebook formatting? By no means. But it's free and it will get the job done. And, frankly, learning how to use it is probably time well-spent, even if you end up moving on to different software in the future. /u/SalaciousStories has a book called Filthy Book in a Fancy Dress that taught me the basics of how to use Calibre and I highly recommend it.
That may be so, but surely this is the pinnacle of cheap erotic fiction.
My Dad Wrote a Porno on yksi parhaista ikinä. Kolme brittiä. Yhden isä on kirjoittanut erotiikkaa. Poika lukee isänsä pornoa kappaleen per jakso (neljä kirjaa/kautta yhteensä). Mahdotonta repeilyä koko ajan. Kirjassa ei mitään eroottista ja itse kirjailija tuntuu olevan jonkin verran kujalla naisen anatomista yhdynnän mekaniikasta.
The Dollop yksi omista suosikeista. Kaksi jenkkikoomikkoa. Toinen kertoo lyhyen tarinan ameriikan lähihistoriasta ja yhdessä kommentoivat, äimistelevät ja 'näyttelevät' sitä. Tarinat historiasta yleensä jotain aivan vitun sekavia, joka tekeekin podcastista niin hyvän kun perustuu tositapahtumiin. Yksi omista lempparijaksoista #271 Uber, jossa käyvät läpi millainen paarma Uberin perustaja Travis Kalanick on.
13 minutes to the moon kannataa kanssa katsastaa. 13 jakson mittainen mini-podcast jossa käyvät läpi ensimmäisen kuulaskeutumisen minuutti-minuutilta.
https://www.amazon.com/Savaged-Systemd-Erotic-Unix-Encounter-ebook/dp/B075DYXZW1
[Clippy features in amazon erotic novels now] (http://www.amazon.co.uk/Conquered-Clippy-Erotic-Digital-Desires-ebook/dp/B00UJ01WBW) NSFW
It's probably this one: https://www.amazon.com//dp/B00WIPMMEC/
Current reading list
How about something like this:
If you're looking for more control over what your book will look like when published (i.e. page breaks before chapters, special chapter headings, etc.) you will want to look into hand-formatting. Here are a couple of books that go into further detail: Here and here!
A Filthy Book in a Fancy Dress is a good place to start for hand formatting books.
I think the standard rec for hand formatting is sal's Filthy Book in a Fancy Dress...
There are also free ebook templates on the web, all you need to do is ask Google. But... if it gives you such a headache, why are you messing around with HTML in the first place?
Any particular reason why you don't want to upload your file as doc/docx?
Alternatively, there are plenty of free formatting options - like using Calibre, a plugin for Open Office (like Writer2Epub), an add-on for Sigil, or online services like Reedsy.
Oh yes.
Yep and it actually looks like it's the sequel to this book
I use /u/SalaciousStories' hand-formatting book, A Filthy Book in a Fancy Dress. It's great! I highly recommend it.
There are a couple of things to be aware of. Calibre no longer automatically generates a mobi book when converting your zip documents to epub. You need to do this manually. If you don't want an extra TOC at the end of your book, make sure to check the "Do not add Table of Contents to book" option on the Mobi Output tab.
I have bad news about clicking an image in a mobi ebook. From what I can find, Mobi does not support that option. I tried everything I could to get it to work, then searched the net and discovered it isn't possible. You need to add a text link before or after the image with instructions to click there. It sucks, but that's the only way I could get it to work.
If anyone knows a solution to this problem, please share!
I don't know if you can use hosted images in an ebook. I wouldn't recommend it. What if something happens and the link doesn't work, or if the reader isn't connected to the net? I read most of my ebooks offline, so that would certainly be a problem for me.
I recommend embedding the image in the ebook itself. I use the "Save for Web" feature in Photoshop to reduce the size of my files if size is your worry. I don't know what software you're using, but check to see if it has a similar feature. I use <img src="image-name.jpg" alt=""/> to embed my images. Just make sure all images are included in the zip file you hand off to Calibre.
Hope this helps. Best of luck!
4 star erotica: "I like it when your hands bend be to take that large load of paper. mmnm"
I write in VIM hand-formatting as I go. Before I start a story I run a custom bash, script story.sh, that builds a cast, outline, blurb and story file. The story file populates with a pre-formatted table of contents and chapters in html.
After I'm finished I run another script that builds epub's, mobi's, pdf's for all platforms as well as shrinking my cover file into various size jpg's for all platforms. It populates front and backmatter based on pen name (stored in seperate folders), with unique backmatter for each storefront.
The same script uses pandoc to convert to doc, docx for nook and d2d. Still tweaking to get clean documents that can be uploaded directly to nookpress.
Not an ex-coder, just a hobbyist but if you're interested I'd be happy to send it over. It's taken the P out of PITA when it comes to actually publishing and once I have a book ready it takes about half an hour to publish it.
epubs throw no errors on kobo or google play. That took a looooong time to figure out.
I love the dark comfort of the command line and love vim. I know there's a VIM vs. EMACS flameware that's been raging for centuries but have not had time to delve into it. Care to elucidate the difference?
Also, props to /u/SalaciousStories book Filthy Book in a Fancy Dress . That really helped me get my css act together.
Filthy Book in a Fancy Dress (I was just about to edit my comment to recommend it, too)
Two books that I've seen recommended here and found really helpful, though they're more about the meta and marketing side of self-publishing:
A Filthy Book In a Fancy Dress, will help you format your ebooks and make them more appealing:
https://www.amazon.com/Filthy-Book-Fancy-Dress-Formatting-ebook/dp/B00WIPMMEC
And Naughty Ink, which deals with marketing your books, including sections on everything from keywords to bundles, specific advice for each of the big self-publishing websites, etc:
https://www.amazon.com/Naughty-Ink-Erotica-Publish-Successful-ebook/dp/B00L8ERJVU
Is it this one?
Super helpful guide.
Vellum is insanely easy to just jump into using. Yes, it's got a stiff price tag, but I think it's just one of those "the cost of doing business" things. Plus it's obviously a professional write-off (so is a laptop or whatever you write on). The books come out looking beautiful, and all the research I've done has Vellum at the top for best KENP count.
That said, hand formatting allegedly can get you a little more if done correctly. I don't at all have the time to get into learning it, but if I did, I'd probbly go with /u/salaciousstories 's book on how to do it. I know people who've read it and rave about his guide.
But yeah, Vellum if you just want to click and go. It's so damn easy, the books look incredibly professional, and your KENP is basically the best you can get.
Clippy has its own erotica on Amazon.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00UJ01WBW/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_srKjzb6VBHQV2
https://www.amazon.com/Savaged-Systemd-Erotic-Unix-Encounter-ebook/dp/B075DYXZW1
https://www.amazon.com/commit-murder-Michael-Warren-Lucas/dp/1642350125
Not Chuck Tingle, but...
Archives for the links in comments:
----
I am Mnemosyne 2.1, Actually, it's about ethics in governing. ^^^^/r/botsrights ^^^^Contribute ^^^^message ^^^^me ^^^^suggestions ^^^^at ^^^^any ^^^^time ^^^^Opt ^^^^out ^^^^of ^^^^tracking ^^^^by ^^^^messaging ^^^^me ^^^^"Opt ^^^^Out" ^^^^at ^^^^any ^^^^time
After I published 69 Modern Slut Tips, people reached out and asked if I was going to publish something similar for men. This little ebook is the answer to that question!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Introduction: The Modern world can be a confusing and difficult place to navigate, even with dedicated and clever sluts all around you. That’s why I’ve published these Modern Gentleman Tips to help you find your place in the world - preferably with a modern slut wrapped around your cock.
Pay close attention and in these 69 tips, I’ll show you the ways of a true and dedicated gentleman when dealing with sluts.
Enjoy and have fun with all the modern sluts of the world.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
1
When a slut misbehaves, it’s not only important to deny her your cock, but also to make sure she is present to witness another slut getting used by your cock.
Let her begging and pleading fall on deaf ears. Make sure she knows that you are disappointed and that’s why the other slut is getting to have fun with your cock. Make sure she understands that being a good slut is the only way she can get access to the cock she craves so dearly.
2
Once you turn eighteen, even your best friend’s mom is just another set of holes for you to use. If she’s on her way out, making her give you her panties, then pissing into her open mouth and having her swallow every last drop is just common courtesy.
Make sure to call her a filthy whore, a dumb slut, or a cock-hungry bitch. After all, it’s important to show your best friend’s parents proper respect and to treat them well.
3
When you see a woman who’s having a bad day, it’s your responsibility as a man to help take her mind off of her troubles. Nothing a woman’s mind off of everything else, like a thick, spit-lubed cock in the ass.
After you’ve fucked her into a drooling, whimpering, mindless mess, she might even pass out. She’ll be thankful that you’re such a kind, attentive, and decent fellow.
Remember, when in doubt, wreck her ass.
4
When watching a film, a slut can become excited, scared, agitated, or just need some extra comfort. By allowing her to stroke your cock, you give her the sense of strong, steady, dependable masculinity she needs.
If she’s having a particularly difficult time, offer to allow her to suck your cock. There’s little that does more to calm a slut’s nerves than a shot of cum.
Be a proper gentleman and let her use your cock.
5
Just because you can’t stand to look at her stupid, aggravating, bitch face, that doesn’t mean you should neglect your duties as a man.
Remember, you can still wreck her whore ass with your cock, without even looking at her. If you’re creative, you can even take out some of your rage and aggression while giving her the pain and humiliation she craves.
What is a bad bitch, but a good man’s job?
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Read the rest on
So, here are my first two shorts. I have had one sale, and 0 page reads. First one was live 10 days ago, the other went live Sunday morning. So, something is off between keywords, blurb, cover. Or all of it. Any comments, no matter how painful are appreciated!
Story 1 https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07H91YFV6
Story 2
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07HLNBY5J
Sorry for formatting, on mobile
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00UJ01WBW/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_erUezbQ038BWV
> Anyone have tips for formatting?
Oh boy do I! Honestly, for the first few months of shorts, I just did things on Google docs then uploaded a docx file to Amazon. That worked fine and looked okay and let me focus on what was important: writing more shorts.
If you want to get fancy there's a bunch of way to go: you can use Scrivener, apparently, as you're doing. If you have a Mac and want them to look really pretty you can get a program called Vellum (there are ways to get it on your PC, too, by simulating a Mac, if you really want Vellum). The two programs I've heard mentioned for Windows (or Mac) are Jutoh and Sigil.
Finally, if you want to invest a fair amount of time learning stuff, don't get frustrated very easily, and want complete control over your books, you can do something called hand formatting. That's where you go in and use HTML to make your manuscript look nice. I just learned how to do this and find it quiet satisfying. Check out A Filthy Book in a Fancy Dress by Cooper Kegel and Zen of eBook Formatting by Guido Henkel. Henkel also has a series of blog posts if you want a quick overview of what you're getting into. Both of the books are free to read with Kindle Unlimited though, I believe, and you can get a free month of KU if you're not already signed up. It's quite useful for doing market research anyway.
But, anyway, if your just getting started I'd say: just make it look nice in a Word doc and upload that.
P.S. I don't really know what I'm talking about. Just repeating what I've learned so far.
This wall poster
A wonderful way to clean your cat RIP Lue
NSFW begins here
Anything by this man His books include
Whatever this book is about the microsoft word paperclip
Freshman Year is a light hearted, slice of life novel of a boy named Trent who is coming to terms with his sexuality.
I find some adult novel. Like the kind that I usually wouldn't get. I read a funny but very smutty novel series that was about purple aliens banging earth girls. ( http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B0051WQ97K?pc_redir=1412329858&amp;robot_redir=1) Idk if it was the stress but I thought all the jokes and silliness just made me laugh out loud!
Where you can buy the book!
> A Filthy Book In a Fancy Dress, will help you format your ebooks and make them more appealing: https://www.amazon.com/Filthy-Book-Fancy-Dress-Formatting-ebook/dp/B00WIPMMEC
I'm planning on buying Vellum before my next book, and I'm hoping that will take care of formatting for me. Maybe wistful thinking...
> https://www.amazon.com/Naughty-Ink-Erotica-Publish-Successful-ebook/dp/B00L8ERJVU
I'll read through this. I'm only in Amazon, so some of the information might not be relevant, but I always find a few gems of info. Great that it's in KU!
Thanks for the links.
"No reasonable person" Come on there's Clippy erotic novels https://www.amazon.com/Conquered-Clippy-Erotic-Digital-Desires-ebook/dp/B00UJ01WBW
https://www.amazon.com/Conquered-Clippy-Erotic-Digital-Desires-ebook/dp/B00UJ01WBW
I'll just leave this here...
Sexy Clippy? May I present Conquered By Clippy: An Erotic Short Story
> Christie Aackerlund doesn’t need help with anything. So when the world’s biggest technology company offers to fly her to a remote location and investigate an alien artifact, all by herself, she’s all like “I’ll do it!”
> But the artifact isn’t what it seems, and soon an overly helpful giant living paperclip is getting her all bent out of shape.
> Conquered by Clippy is a 4000 word short story featuring sexual situations with digital assistants. It’s for super mature audiences only.
Ima gonna leave this right here for you: https://www.amazon.com/Conquered-Clippy-Erotic-Digital-Desires-ebook/dp/B00UJ01WBW
There have been less reasonable people
This is a good example of what I'm meaning.
https://www.amazon.com/Accidental-Abduction-Alien-Book-ebook/dp/B0051WQ97K?ie=UTF8&amp;ref_=zg_bs_7620220011_26
Although there is an entire sub-section dedicated to this, so go have a look to get a good example of what I'm talking about here.
http://www.amazon.com/Best-Sellers-Kindle-Store-Humorous-Erotica/zgbs/digital-text/7620220011#1
Yo, check out Salacious's book from KU. [A Filthy Book In A Fancy Dress] (https://www.amazon.com/Filthy-Book-Fancy-Dress-Formatting-ebook/dp/B00WIPMMEC?ie=UTF8&amp;keywords=a%20filthy%20book%20in%20a%20fancy%20dress&amp;qid=1464386351&amp;ref_=sr_1_1&amp;sr=8-1).
There's a whole section in there on hand coding. Takes a bit to learn. I'm not claiming to like hand coding at all, but that book makes it a ton easier.
Why not learn to handcode?
Two good books on how:
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00WIPMMEC/
https://www.amazon.com/Word-Kindle-Publishing-Microsoft-Formatting-ebook/dp/B078PVHFH1
Here are all the local Amazon links I could find:
amazon.com
amazon.co.uk
amazon.ca
amazon.com.au
amazon.in
amazon.com.mx
amazon.de
amazon.it
amazon.es
amazon.com.br
amazon.nl
amazon.co.jp
amazon.fr
Beep bloop. I'm a bot to convert Amazon ebook links to local Amazon sites.
I currently look here: amazon.com, amazon.co.uk, amazon.ca, amazon.com.au, amazon.in, amazon.com.mx, amazon.de, amazon.it, amazon.es, amazon.com.br, amazon.nl, amazon.co.jp, amazon.fr, if you would like your local version of Amazon adding please contact my creator.
I’ll just leave this here
Hi,
I only started publishing last week and I have two books up. Both are in the transgender category which maybe isn't popular. How do you know what categories are most popular? I will have to branch out. Anyway because I am so new, all critiques or comments about any aspect of these productions are welcome--and be as blunt as you like. Thanks!
This is the newest one:
Candy's Halloween
[my other book] (http://www.amazon.com/Bangkok-Cocktails-Kella-Z-Driel-ebook/dp/B01CK40RFQ/)
http://www.amazon.com/Leonardo-Decaprico-Finally-Award-Pounds-ebook/dp/B01BNZMD5A/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8
Wrote my second erotica. Free until the 19th. I've also started to work on my novel, but that's not a big concern of mine for now.
For me coding is less hard than forcing myself to do a boring thing lots of times! The process goes like this:
1.) Google something like what I want to do. (Hope someone already did something similar.)
2.) Copy it. Make the changes to apply to my particular situation.
3.) It does something. Not what I wanted it to do. Cry. Swear.
4.) Google something slightly different and splice in the new information.
5.) Does it work? If so, yay! If not, go to 3. Repeat until forever.
Here's the little bit I stared at for 30 minutes until I figured out what I was doing wrong (and therefore what was right):
line = re.sub(r'<p>','<p class=first>',line)
line = line.replace('</span>','')
splitstring = line.partition('<span>')
line = splitstring[0] + '<span class=fletter>' + splitstring[2][0] + '</span>' + splitstring[2][1:]
which basically takes a line of the document which is encased in <p><span>[words]</span></p> tags and moves the span with my first letter class around the first letter.
It is simple and silly and dumb and I yelled at it and I sent my partner angry unicorn .gifs about it and when it worked at last I got up out of my chair and did a small dance in the middle of the room.
Hat tip to "Zen of Ebook Formatting" and "A Filthy Book in a Fancy Dress", the latter of which I can never ever search for ("A Naughty Book in a Pretty Dress"? "A Dirty Book in a Classy Dress"? "A Slutty Book in a Lovely Dress"?) and end up searching for BOOK DRESS FORMATTING DAMMIT until I find it.
https://www.amazon.com/Filthy-Book-Fancy-Dress-Formatting-ebook/dp/B00WIPMMEC
https://www.amazon.com/Zen-eBook-Formatting-Step-step-ebook/dp/B00KJAH4HS/
EDIT: to add a closed paren. you might think I would be on the lookout for that stuff after coding all day but APPARENTLY NOT
Hello!
This is my book.
I'm actually going to be changing the title and cover, but general suggestions for the cover (I made it myself) would be nice! My main concern is about the blurb and what I might be able to do to improve it.
I also had a question about the formatting. I use Kindle Create for my formatting, and I don't really get what the difference of using Scrivener or Vellum is. It seems like Kindle Create does an OK job, but I don't have experience with any other program. What are the general perks of those that would make it worth purchasing those?
Thank you in advance!
Thanks for sharing. Here is a little something for your efforts: https://www.amazon.ca/Conquered-Clippy-Erotic-Digital-Desires-ebook/dp/B00UJ01WBW
There's 15 chapters in book 3. You can see the chapter titles (spoilers) here, click the Look Inside button: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Belinda-Blinked-continuing-relentlessly-continues-ebook/dp/B06Y1WP666
No but if you're interested here's some pterodactyl erotica Amazon is selling that you might enjoy. Personally I'm more a fan of Tetris erotica though recently I've grown a bit of a taste for Clippy erotica.
Non-mobile: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00FYZ4TUI/ref=kina_tdp?ie=UTF8
^That's ^why ^I'm ^here, ^I ^don't ^judge ^you. ^PM ^/u/xl0 ^if ^I'm ^causing ^any ^trouble. ^WUT?
Weird. I just saw this erotic ebook involving Clippy promoted on Twitter. Dude gets around.
Here is the mobile version of your link
I'm still reeling from Microsoft Clippy.
Do yourself a favor:
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00UO7WOAS/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_hsch_vapi_taft_p1_i1
Apparently because he publishes them in ebooks, the one containing this story will cost you $4: http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B00FYZ4TUI/ref=kina_tdp?ie=UTF8
fwiw this also exists
about the author
http://www.amazon.com/Conquered-Clippy-Erotic-Digital-Desires-ebook/dp/B00UJ01WBW