Best hand drums according to redditors

I believe the drums they are playing are called "frame drums." I don't know if these links below are what you are looking for exactly, but it should get you on the right path.

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I honestly think its gonna be cheaper for you to get a $100 Chinese banjo off Ebay or craigslist. Its gonna sound better too. If you take the neck and tuners from a guitar the string spacing is gonna be off and its gonna be difficult to switch to an actual banjo after. If you plan to use a tambourine as the pot you still need a tailpiece, bridge, armrest. I don't think its feasible to build something that resembles a banjo for leas than the price of a very cheap Chinese banjo. The material costs are gonna be close and not to mention all the timel its gonna take and the end product won't be something worth the effort.

That being said. If you still wanna build one, look for a 10" frame drum or bodhran.
https://www.amazon.com/Remo-HD-8510-00-Fiberskyn-Frame-Drum/dp/B0002F7KGK/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1536944358&sr=1-1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&dpPl=1&dpID=41LVEiM8ZAL&ref=plSrch

Ebay has cheap strings, tailpieces, and bridges. You're gonna need a nut that'll hold the strings at the proper height but that'll also ensure proper spacing. I think the hardest part is gonna be getting the neck done. You can either look for a cheap neck or try and modify the guitar neck to work. Modifying would require cutting down the width and length I believe.

Another concern would be the tension in the drum frame, the strings are going to be compressing the drum frame around the neck and tailpiece so you'll need to add a stiffening mechanism.

PDP also has one that's even cheaper.

http://www.amazon.com/Pacific-Drums-DW-Timbale-Chrome/dp/B000GGV2DM

I'm actually going to go against the grain here and say that you should avoid one with a cross-brace even for a beginner (though absolutely go for a tunable with a synthetic head). No reason to develop bad habits or dependencies, and playing without a brace isn't really any harder to learn.

One of my past bandmates played one of these for quite a bit while he saved for his Alfonso, and loved it (he called it his 'black sheep'). It's got a much bass-ier sound than you'll find from most (not bad on the surface, but something to know), and was pretty fun to play. I don't play bodhran often, but I'm considering getting one of these for myself - it's a decent intermediate instrument with a beginner-level cost.

I've also heard folks say some nice things about the Meinl ones available on Amazon, though I haven't gotten to play one myself.

And, as mentioned elsewhere, Albert Alfonso and Metloef are widely considered to be excellent drums. If your SO is already a practiced bodhranista, one of these makers may be a good bet.

Outside of those recommendations, my thoughts:

• Size (diameter) isn't what matters. I've got a 18" (or so) diameter bodhran, and it doesn't sound any better or louder than the 14" diameter drums I linked above (actually, the smaller but deeper ones sound nicer to me, in addition to being of better construction)
  
• Tipper use will vary with playing style. Most bodhrans come with a stock tipper that works well for basic styles, but might actually encourage bad habits, ergonomically-speaking. This one's going to be hugely personal to the player, though, so it may be best to hold off on buying a ton of tippers until your SO has a chance to get a feel for it (if they're a beginner - if they're not, they probably already have a larger collection of tippers than underpants - the things breed like crazy once you get started).

I have this one. It's definitely smaller than all the ones I've seen being used in the instructional videos I've been watching, but so far, I like it. The reviews basically paint it as a sturdy kids'/beginners' drum, but since that's exactly what I wanted...

I'd also suggest a cheap (like $30-60) aluminum darbuka. Amazon link. There are other sizes, but that's a sweet spot imho.

The darbuka/doumbek is a simple drum to play and awfully durable. The two basic sounds (the doum, and the tek) are a good low/high sound that makes working on simple rhythmic patterns easy and you'll start to develop the left/right skills at the same time. Add a foot tambourine and shaker and you can start working on 4 way coordination.

Sticks and a pad are a good start, but they can get boring. Adding a cheap hand drum is a good way to keep music from becoming a slog through a technique book.

$330 new, seems a little steep for the Goodwill! They should sell it on eBay. REMO Djembe, MONDO, Key-Tuned, 16" x 27", SKYNDEEP FIBERSKYN, Contour Tuning Brackets, Kintekloth Finish https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0002IHEEK/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_oM1VCbQ75WY13

Any decent music shop with a good percussion section should be able to help you.

Alternatively, online is of course an option. (US links below as they are the easiest but you can still search for the same product more local to you)

The djembe you listed has a 14" head (they come in different sizes). If you must get a goatskin head like the original then this is the type you are after,
or the same from Amazon

If you just need a suitable head there are other brands that might be a bit cheaper, such as this one

Timbale

Get one of these. That's easily the best $20 I've ever spent on anything, ever.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B000GGV2DM/ref=redir_mdp_mobile

just going to throw this cheap beauty out there http://www.amazon.com/REMO-Buffalo-Diameter-Depth-Standard/dp/B0002I1EW8

Ive wanted to do exactly what you posted for a while but not sure if there was other interest. It would be great to get him a large djembe drum. I would donate to this if you do set it up.

The old ways are best

This is what I used for the banjo head. You may want to go with a 12" if going with a full scale length. My banjo is only 23" scale length.
http://www.amazon.com/Remo-Fiberskyn-Frame-Drum-10/dp/B0002F7KGK

Here are the plans I followed. The main thing I did different was how I attached the neck.
http://www.bluestemstrings.com/pageWineboxBanjo1.html

maybe you already live inthat world, not collapsable but..
http://www.amazon.com/X8-Drums-Black-Backpacker-Djembe/dp/B005PX9SZ0