Best health & maturing books for children according to redditors
We found 129 Reddit comments discussing the best health & maturing books for children. We ranked the 32 resulting products by number of redditors who mentioned them. Here are the top 20.
Yes to this! It's a great intro to pretty much anything that could be tricky development-wise! There's two versions: one target for girls 8-11 and one for girls 12+
This is really important! Child sexual abuse numbers are still way too high. Teaching your kids the correct terms for their body is a way to prevent it as predators/abusers typically use pet names. Teach your child if this happens to come to you immediately.
As for how to approach it, I know some people that use the book “It’s so amazing” with their nine year old. It is very detailed about both male and female bodies, reproduction, pregnancy, and birth. But, it also keeps it age appropriate so the kid doesn’t become uncomfortable. They make a younger and an older version too so it gets more detailed as it goes on. Talking about sex and the education behind it is so important. A lot of TED talks explain how to go about this well and I’ve found them really helpful. A lot of sex education comes from home and school. School information can sometimes show that sex is shameful, when it shouldn’t be! We need to teach our kids that from a young age. I know talking about it all is super awkward and weird, but if you don’t, google will(imagine a young girl typing in girl body or teen sex). Talking about it is hard, but maybe reading it is easier. I’ll attach the link for the book, and hopefully it helps! Good luck and you’ve got this!
https://www.amazon.com/Its-So-Amazing-Families-Library/dp/0763668745/ref=pd_lpo_sbs_14_t_0?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=E8XDFE84ABZKP9R4N61N&dpID=512fzB-d8ZL&preST=_SX218_BO1,204,203,200_QL40_&dpSrc=detail
Guy Stuff: The Body Book for Boys is by the same author and covers all of those topics.
Probably because they gave the name and author in the title! :)
Amazing You!: Getting Smart About Your Private Parts https://www.amazon.com/dp/0142410586/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_c3k3Db9G5SY4Q
I think getting him a book on puberty is a really good idea. You can't just shut this away and expect him not to be curious. I found porn at a pretty young age -- I think I was 9 or so. As far as I can tell, I've turned out to be a healthy individual when it comes to sex. My mom did talk to me about it, basically she said that she understood why I was curious but that I was too young to be visiting those kinds of sites, that they were for adults and not realistic, etc. She also got me a couple different books on puberty and I remember spending a good amount of time on sites for adolescents that explained things like puberty.
It's unfortunate that you're the one who's going to end up dealing with this, but someone needs to talk to him and it doesn't sound like your mother will. 7 is really young to be processing the nuances of porn and sexuality. Ideally, you'll continue to have conversations with him as he grows older and you can broach more complicated or serious topics like healthy sexual relationships and STDs.
For now, here are some resources:
Scarleteen -- Really good sex education website for adolescents
What's Happening To My Body? -- I had a girl's version of this book when I was younger, and it's really good, very detailed. There's also a companion book, My Body My Self, that's designed to be more interactive, kids are supposed to journal or answer questions or write about themselves in it, but it's also got a ton of information.
Good luck!
> I don’t want her to hate her period or to be miserable.
yeah. that's going to happen regardless.
> her doing things like sleeping lots, barely eating, having cramps in her back, crying and other above mentioned behaviors are normal or if I should be worried
That all sounds normal to me.
Take a picture of her preferred brand and put an emergency box of pads and tampons in her bathroom, just in case it comes out of the blue. Check her bathroom regularly and make sure she's stocked up on supplies.
Yes, I inferred from your post that she uses pads, but if she needs tampons, then she'll have them.
Has she found a pain medication that works for her cramps? For me, Aleve was the only thing that worked.
Get her a book if you haven't already. This one is great.
Aerie might have something that will fit her and that she likes, have you looked there?
As far as books, I don't recall the name offhand, but I think there was one like what you're looking for published by American Girl. I'll see if I can find it.
Edit: Found it! http://www.amazon.com/Care-Keeping-You-Younger-Revised/dp/1609580834/
http://www.amazon.com/Care-Keeping-You-Older-Girls/dp/1609580427/
My daughter was only a few months older, and i was caught off guard. I was 13 when my period started, so the thought that she would be starting at 10 had never occurred to me.
A book I thought was great was "The Care and Keeping of You 2". Well written and helpful.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/1609580427/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_ktQMDbJ6F11NQ
I HIGHLY recommend: The What's Happening To my Body Book for Girls. It's what I learned on but the book is updated very often to include new information. It's informative but in a way that kids can undesrtand (without being super dumbed-down). Lots of useful pictures, lots of positive messages. I love this book! I read it cover to cover and referenced it many times throughout my pubescent years when I had questions.
Good luck!
Edit: If that one seems too advanced, try The Care and Keeping of You. It's mostly about hygiene and puberty. They are going to need something more informative in a few years, though...I find that book to be rather incomplete and it raised more questions for me than it answered.
http://www.amazon.com/The-Care-Keeping-You-Younger/dp/1609580834
This was a great one. It's made by American Girl, and it's for younger girls, but talks about periods and all that. :)
http://www.amazon.com/The-Care-Keeping-You-Older/dp/1609580427/ref=pd_bxgy_b_text_y/188-6395898-6290800
That's volume 2, for "older" girls. It might be better? Maybe just get both and let her peruse.
My sister is the same way, a very young 12. We gave her this book and it was gentle enough that she could read it without crippling embarrassment. It's also American Girl, which means it's "cute" and "cool" for a young-hearted girl that age!
>I had this whole thing planned. I was going to get her the book, "Our Bodies, Ourselves", buy her some feminine products, some chocolate, and just be as open and supportive as possible
You can still do these things! Maybe choose a book more suited to reading level, but they are out there.
I was trying to find my favorite kid book on menstruation and I THINK this is the one -- but maybe check it out at a library first. As I remember it was really easy for me to "get" without feeling gross and shamed.
You sound like a fantastic mom. I think as long as you are a parent that she can come to (maybe with encouragement) when she's hurt, confused, or cranky, you should be great.
Maybe approaching this as perfectly natural would bring you closer together? Since she is quite young, maybe start with just a general book about bodies developing? You can work your way up to the more complicated stuff. Don't freak out about this, as that might make her believe it's unnatural and wrong -- as a young child, she's probably only going to have a really basic understanding of what's going on. Answer her questions, but don't make her afraid of what might be lurking in her chest/privates. If she's not ready to talk about any of this stuff, tell her that's ok, but make sure she has access to books and that whenever she wants she can change her mind.
Don't put the cart before the horse, but once the horse is ready, don't spook the horse with a scary fucking cart full of misery and periods!
Also -- if your sister had to point them out, are you sure it's not possibly a little lingering baby fat? It may have been early and I didn't notice, but I think I was like I was maybe 10 when I started "developing breasts" -- but it's not like they ballooned over night. I want to say it wasn't noticeable until high school. I was ashamed of them, of course, but my mom let me wear what I wanted -- if she favors baggy clothes or tighter shirts, (or better yet -- feel fabulous in any outfit!) all you need to do is support her and frequently remind her that you two can talk about anything.
If someone bullies her, makes her feel like a "freak", let her know that you can handle the problem, in a way that will not draw attention to the situation, especially if she's a shy girl. Don't demand she wear a bra and be an expert on menses. You buy her clothes, so if she's not ready for the undershirts, maybe try to find materials that are a little less clingy, or buy larger sizes because she's growing into such a lady! The idea of a regimented, rule-based approach to this might make her feel overwhelmed. Just give her the information and resources she needs :)
Curious -- have you noticed any other pre pubescent signs? (Hair under there, body odor, etc?)
TL;DR: You'll be fine. Don't give her any information she isn't ready for or doesn't ask for. Don't talk about it in terms of HAVING to do stuff -- wear bras and what to do when it happens.
The same authors of "Care and Keeping of You" are publishing a book for boys this month: Guy Stuff: The Body Book for Boys https://www.amazon.com/dp/1683370260/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_RDyIzb3GY79MF. Our doctor got an advanced copy, she recommended it.
I read mine Human Body Theater (Amazon link). It goes over the functions of all the organs in the body. In my experience, knowing that all the organs do something different and unique made it really easy to explain what the uterus, vagina, penis, testicles all do without any issue. It's for older kids, but my kid got basic info out of it at 3 years old, and found it entertaining.
I also got her the book How You Were Born (Amazon link) which has photos of a baby in utero, and shows the various stages of gestation. It glosses over how the baby got in there, but it's a good start.
Lastly, this book The Amazing You! Getting Smart About Your Private Parts (Amazon Link) has diagrams and goes over all the functions of what each set of genitalia does. It's great for your preschool age kids.
I don't think 9 is too young to talk to him about this sorta stuff, especially if he's bringing it up.
There's a whole series of age appropriate books that talk about sex and where babies come from and stuff. We got this one for my SS8:
It's So Amazing!: A Book about Eggs, Sperm, Birth, Babies, and Families (The Family Library) https://www.amazon.com/dp/0763668745/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_d9h3Db0JWRC2S
https://www.amazon.com/Whats-Happening-Body-Book-Boys/dp/1557047650
Seriously though this vid is awesome, great job.
You must not have tried too hard.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/1683370260/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_Rz5UBbDN27MFF
https://www.amazon.com/Whats-Happening-Body-Book-Boys/dp/1557047650
We have this book and my 4yo loves it. Loves that she has 'egg parts'.
However my husband told her that sometimes babies come out through a cut in the belly (because that's not in the book) and she freaked the hell out and cried for 20 minutes about how she never wants to have babies. And she loves babies to the point where she's said she wants to be a baby doctor.
She's in a funny super anti-pain phase right now. She had the same reaction to me telling her that getting her ears pierced would hurt, but has since gotten over being afraid of that.
This happened to me too. Why oh why don't they ask the boy parent about this sort of thing?!? That is what he is there for!
For my son, we've gotten books from this series:
http://smile.amazon.com/Its-So-Amazing-Families-Library/dp/0763668745/ref=pd_bxgy_b_img_y
There is one for older kids and one for younger kids. They might be available at the library, but I've noticed that books about the body are helpful at very random times.
We also have this:
http://smile.amazon.com/Usborne-Complete-Book-Human-Body/dp/0794515576/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1406293750&sr=1-2&keywords=usborne+body+book
Which is very helpful for when there is a sudden interest in bones or DNA (frackin' kid friends giving all sorts of ideas). There is a younger version of it as well, I just didn't bother.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say that I don't think anyone ever taught him how to properly take care of his own body. It sounds like he knows why he smells, he showers twice a day thinking that's what other people do when they smell; they shower!, and he's not understanding why he still smells despite "doing what everyone else does". It's my take on this that no one ever taught him how to properly bathe and clean his body. I don't really know how to approach this. I'm female, and when I was starting puberty I would shower... let the water pour on top of me, but I didn't actually wash my hair or body. I don't know why but I didn't. I started to smell. My Mom noticed, obviously, and bought me a book called The Care and Keeping of You. It was an American Girl book and it really helped me understand how I needed to take care of my body. I was unsure of how to ask for help because I was embarrsed and for a while just chose to live with this. Maybe you could find a male-equivalent of the book my mom got me. Buy some products and stash them in your bathroom. Tell roommate you got some stuff that he's welcome to check out and use. Leave the book on the back of the toilet as poop reading material. He might pick it up when he has privacy and might gain some info he was too afraid to pursue on his own. I know the male version exists. I'll look for the title for you.
Other things you can do to help him and not alienate him:
___
EDIT: This seems like the closest to the Care and Keeping of You I had, but for boys but based on reading through some reviews, I think "What's Happening to my Body?" might be the best book to leave somewhere roomie can find and look through in private. If some jackass down the hall comes into your room making fun of it, just say someones mom brought it up to the dorm and you guys like to laugh at it. But keep it in the bathroom so that it can be looked at when smelly roomie is alone. He knows he smells, and I'm sure he wants to know how not to smell despite what he says. It sounds like deflection because he is shameful, but hides behind pride.
Oh, this horribly embarrassing but great book: What's Happening to My Body?
I work at American Girl and they have this book called "The Care and Keeping of You 2: The Body Book for Older Girls"
Also on Amazon for a lot cheaper... http://www.amazon.com/The-Care-Keeping-You-Older/dp/1609580427
One of the most popular books that we sell, and it's really helpful all around. 5 stars on amazon, even read the reviews! Awesome book, for a great price.
Has he read any books about his body or taken sex ed yet?
It's normal when going through puberty to be uncomfortable with your body, the changes.
If he is worried he is "small" he may not realize that he is still growing and changing. Maybe he is comparing himself to the other boys or things he has seen online. (Does he understand the concept of grower verse shower?)
http://www.amazon.com/The-Boys-Body-Book-Everything/dp/1604333529
http://www.amazon.com/Whats-Happening-Body-Book-Boys/dp/1557047650
/r/askmen may be helpful but I'd recommend /r/daddit.
I found this book at the library when I was twelve and it was extremely helpful. lots of diagrams about what you should expect at different ages/stages. (the link has a "look inside" option so you can see the table of contents). definitely something young girls should read!
As the daughter of a single father I just want to see keep up the good work!
My dad and I started reading "What's happening to my body? A book for girls" when I was around your daughter's age. It gave both of us an understanding about what was going to happen in the future. We also used it to help with my reading and comprehension. He would read a page or two and then I would read a page or two. At the end of the chapter we would discuss. It really brought us closer together and even to this day we can talk about anything without worry.
There are many books like this but this is the one I have experience with so here is a link: https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1557047642/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1477958185&sr=8-1&pi=SY200_QL40&keywords=whats+happening+to+my+body+book+for+girls&dpPl=1&dpID=51Mdy6zOdgL&ref=plSrch
Also, if you do happen to tell other adults make sure she isn't around to here. My mom who I spent weekends with spilled to beans to all the other moms at one of my brothers baseball games while I was sitting right there with her. I wanted to die (in the dramatic pre-teen angst kind of way). Good luck!
My body, my self is pretty good for generally accepting and understanding puberty.
I got my daughters 2 books - they're for different age ranges but they introduce "the birds and the bees" well (with a silly cartoon bird and bee, who have different interest and comfort levels with discussing everything).
It's So Amazing (recommended for ages 7-10) and It's Perfectly Normal (for ages 10 and up)
It's a little cheesy, but I love this book:
The Care and Keeping of You 2: The Body Book for Older Girls
https://www.amazon.com/dp/1609580427/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_OKYXCbGS01X9Y
It is geared toward kids a bit, but it's a perfect comprehensive guide on all those little things you should be doing. Don't get hung up on using the right nighttime eye cream. Just get all the basics down and you're good to go!
Sex Is a Funny Word.
Fantastic book that speaks directly to kids. It’s LGBT inclusive and sex positive, and it doesn’t get bogged down in definitions or make normative declarations. And it’s fun to read.
I think any kid would enjoy and learn from this book, and come away from it feeling good about themselves.
Edit: Oops, I see this is the first book in your list. Good start!
That book is meant for younger kids, but there are two additional books written by the same authors aimed at older kids It's so amazing! for 7-10 year olds, and It's perfectly normal for 10 and up.
Some general life advice... being 15 can be rough. Hell, being a teenager at all is rough. I'm sure you've been through a sex ed class, but if you haven't, I'd suggest you pick up a What's Happening To My Body? Book For Boys, and maybe The Bisexual's Guide To The Universe, if it won't get you into trouble. If you don't have a library card, get one. They're free and easily the best investment you can make. No one can ever take your knowledge from you.
Basically, right now, it's wise to put off dating and wait until you hit late high school or college, when people are generally a little more stable and a little less crazy. Hormones make folks do all sorts of stuff, and some of it will be a bit regrettable in the long run. Don't worry so much about getting your 15-year-old self laid, start setting the foundation to getting your 18 to 25 year old self laid. You'll have much better prospects and more freedom then.
If you're into reading, read. Expand your mind, expand your vocabulary. You'll need it for the SAT and for college. It will help your social life immensely if you can carry on an interesting conversation. They say a man who reads lives and dies thousands of lives, while the man who doesn't read lives only once.
Similarly, you're probably just starting or just about to start puberty, which means you're going to get taller and more muscular. This is a great time to get fit or get toned. Even just walking around your neighborhood in the afternoon will help. Exercise improves your mood, which can be really important during the teenage years. Also, if nothing else, you'll need those leg muscles and that stamina for fun things later. Hiking is excellent.
If it hasn't already, your metabolism is probably going to spike and you're suddenly going to be able to eat everything. You will probably feel like you're eating Mom 'n' Dad out of house and home. This is normal. You will probably get much taller, and your body will get bigger. Your face will break out and it'll feel like you're fuzzy all over. This, too, is normal. Don't worry about it, don't panic, and don't stress about acne. It happens to everyone. It's one of life's great ironies that at a moment when our bodies are full of hormones and all sorts of friskiness, that we tend to look our worst. That's normal, don't worry about it. You're growing and becoming something greater, so take advantage of it. Focus on preparing and making yourself really shine a few years down the road.
If you've got a hobby, put some real time into it. A good hobby or two will really help improve your life; it's important to have something you can feel passionate and capable about. Similarly, try the different clubs in school. Some stuff is really pretty cool, even if it may seem a little weird or dorky at the outset. For example, I joined the Model United Nations on a whim when I was in high school, and it was one of the best experiences I ever had. I still miss it, over a decade later, and it's part of what spawned my interest in global politics.
If you can, start setting aside a little money now. You'll thank yourself when your first car blows a head gasket, when you're trying to wrangle your first bills together, or when you're trying to figure out how many meals you can stretch out of a 24 pack of ramen. Your family is supporting you right now, try to appreciate it while it lasts. There's a personal finance merit badge that you need for your Eagle. It may sound boring, but pay attention to that; there's a lot of skills there that you will need in your near future.
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And some sex advice, while I'm at it. Condoms: They have expiration dates, and they generally keep for roughly three years. They're one of those things it's better to have and not need, than to need and not have. Depending on the state you're living in, you may not be able to enter an adult shop until you're 18 or 21. That's okay. You can get condoms and lube at most pharmacies, and sometimes the grocery store. If you're going to have penetrative same sex, you're going to need lube, especially your first time. Your first time is assuredly going to be awkward, both with a male and with a female. Take your time and don't rush. Don't sweat it. It's awkward for everyone, just keep talking to your partner and listen to what they have to say. Being a giving lover is a skill worth having.
When it comes to toys, etc, don't use anything stiff or hard on your rear. Start small, get something medium-soft, and stay clean. It helps to use a condom on your toys, and "too much" lube is almost enough. Try to stay away from anything homemade, too. You can get stuff online pretty easily, and you can usually order stuff with a prepaid gift card that acts like a credit card, such as an American Express card. You can also get these at grocery stores. Similarly, a small tool box with a padlock can be a handy investment. I'm not encouraging you to hide or lie to your parents, just that sexual stuff is personal, and it's generally no one's business but yours.
Clear your browser history.
Also, porn makes everything look better than reality. That's kind of the point, and they can sink all sorts of money into making their actors look amazing. Don't stress about it. No one's perfect in real life.
(Facebook's the same way. When you look at other peoples' facebook pages, you're seeing their highlight reel. Meanwhile, you're living through all of your behind-the-scenes stuff, and life can be messy. Don't compare yourself to others, we're all living through the messy stuff as best we can. Be compassionate, a kind word goes a long way.)
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Let's see, what else...? Brush your teeth, wear deodorant, and go sparingly with the cologne. That stuff is strong, and if you can't smell it anymore, don't go reapplying it in the middle of a dance or giving it to all of your friends like I did. We must've had an aspen-scented cloud around us, and we never knew. :P
Your parents can sometimes feel like big jerks when you're a teenager, it can feel like they don't understand and they never will. It's true, it's been a while since they were teens, and they may have forgotten what it's like. However, your parents care about you and they know a lot, so learn what you can. Learning how to cook is an excellent skill and it will help you out a lot. Cooking your own meals will help with your health, your budget, and your ability to impress a date. Learn what you can now, while you've got the freedom to do so.
As an afterthought, don't forget that there's a ton of people in real life and here on reddit whom you can ask for advice. If you're embarrassed, you don't have to give your name and you can fake up your details if you need to. Hang in there, it's all going to be okay. I know it's cliche, but that whole thing about "It Gets Better"? Yeah, it really does. Sometimes we spend so much time and effort trying to find something, that when we stop looking, we'll turn a corner and it'll slam right into our face. Life's funny like that. Don't panic about your situation, try not to compare yourself to others. Work on you, first and foremost. You're stuck with yourself for life, so make sure it's a good one. =\^.~=
tl;dr: I took the time to write this, please go back up and read it. Use your brain, use your common sense, trust yourself, and start preparing now to be awesome when you're starting out as an adult. That first step out on your own can be hard, and there's a lot of stuff that may take you by surprise. Be Prepared.
Yep! A couple of notable ones:
https://www.amazon.com/Its-So-Amazing-Families-Library/dp/0763668745/ref=sr_1_1
https://www.amazon.com/Sex-Funny-Word-Bodies-Feelings/dp/1609806069/ref=pd_sim_14_4
​
http://www.amazon.com/The-Girls-Body-Book-Everything/dp/160433004X
Also always thought it was a "code phrase."
My parents gave me this [book] (http://www.amazon.com/Its-So-Amazing-Families-Library/dp/0763668745/ref=pd_sim_b_2?ie=UTF8&refRID=1WAPDW8MB1Y1BWQ31CHB) when my mom was pregnant with my younger brother (7 years difference) and told me if I had any questions to come ask either of them. The book was pretty good. It covered eggs, sperm, fertilization, puberty, babies and different family structures; using cartoons and commentary at a level that a 7 year old could easily understand.
When I was around that age my mom had gotten me a book that had lots of stuff about periods, how to use tampons, and other puberty/changing body/general health stuff. It was great because I felt so awkward about talking about it, so I could just read it in private. There may be something better out there but I believe it was some version of this: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1609580427/ref=pd_lpo_sbs_dp_ss_2?pf_rd_p=1944687662&pf_rd_s=lpo-top-stripe-1&pf_rd_t=201&pf_rd_i=1562476661&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_r=1WNWA8PSZM2G3FR8VAKQ
Also if she is worried about bothering her aunt/female relative or embarrassed to talk about it, maybe you could help set up a time for them to just hang out or get lunch or something? Like, not framing it as a time for her to ask questions or anything, just to spend time together, and then she might feel more comfortable as a resource.
This is a great book. http://www.amazon.com/Whats-Happening-Body-Book-Boys/dp/1557047650
Maybe give her a book like this one to read. Try to get her out of the house(like, take walks together for chatting purposes, added bonus of helping with period pain) when she's on her period- is she uncomfortable with the period itself, or the accompanying bloating, fatigue and/or cramping? An emergency "feel better" kit of water bottle, snack bar(protein bars tend to be helpful), ibuprofen or midol and some iron supplements(chocolate optional). Letting her know that most women go through this -every month- may help. Maybe get her a little day planner and some stickers to track her periods when they happen so she can work out next potential period to feel more confident about it without being overt about her "period planner". You can get free apps that do the same thing, but it's nice to have a paper copy, and it gets you in the habit of day planning.
A friends mom did this, I was so ridiculously jealous when I found out about her "emergency stash" of feel better stuff. When I started getting regular periods my mom said "And? Want a gold star?" Feel the love.
I'd suggest getting an age-appropriate book to discuss with him, such as The Boy's Guide to Becoming a Teen (for pre-teens) or What's Happening to My Body? Book for Boys (for older teens). It's Perfectly Normal is another great one aimed at both girls and boys, about age 10 and up.
My mum gave me this when i "came of age". Didn't think I'd find it that helpful but it was pretty insightful.
here ya go
Welcome to parenting with porn :D And uhh... you want to share that link with us? For science? Aherm... KIDDING....kinda... LOL
I've had four kids hit that point, two boys and two girls, and several more coming that way soon. Here's my recommendations...and feel free to take/leave what does or doesn't work for you:
It's about finding a balance. You got this mama. I promise.
My mom put a condom on a banana and that was mortifying but I'm glad I saw one IRL before I had to see a guy put it on. She also gave me this book which I would read with my door locked, also mortifyed that that would go in there.
https://www.amazon.com/Boys-Body-Book-Everything-Growing/dp/1604335742
This article has a slideshow of options: http://www.todaysparent.com/family/family-health/puberty-books-for-boys/
online resources:
http://www.beinggirl.com/my-period/first-period/
http://kidshealth.org/kid/grow/girlstuff/period_school.html
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Girls-About-Periods-Growing-Up-Stuff/dp/0340878282
http://www.amazon.com/Period-Girls-Guide-JoAnn-Loulan/dp/0916773965
http://www.celebrategirls.com/books.htm
also, expect her laundry to be kinda messy. its hard to figure everything out at first, and it may take awhile (years, sometimes) to really get a handle on how messy it can be. sheets are going to have stains on them, her underwear, pants, etc. the longer the stain sits, the harder it is to get out. I suggest getting a few black pairs of underwear for her that she can wear during that time. stains wont show up. the laundry thing can be very embarrassing. If she doesnt already do her own laundry i suggest that you teach her.
try posting this to female centric sub-reddits, such as, r/women, or r/twoxchromosomes.
There is a top rated series that has been around for years and is constantly updated:
https://www.amazon.ca/Its-Not-Stork-Families-Friends/dp/0763633313
https://www.amazon.ca/Its-So-Amazing-Babies-Families/dp/0763668745/ref=pd_aw_fbt_img_2/136-1458463-9877260?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=0763668745&pd_rd_r=1276f820-7e54-11e9-a800-798d64934000&pd_rd_w=yWMmI&pd_rd_wg=VeLzc&pf_rd_p=318fc841-c654-436b-9e98-a4e2694ba626&pf_rd_r=MCSQGCMT881D674448T7&psc=1&refRID=MCSQGCMT881D674448T7
https://www.amazon.ca/Its-Perfectly-Normal-Changing-Growing/dp/0763668729/ref=pd_aw_fbt_14_img_2/136-1458463-9877260?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=0763668729&pd_rd_r=8806a471-7e54-11e9-b06b-1967775fe31c&pd_rd_w=MRz2Z&pd_rd_wg=eITPH&pf_rd_p=318fc841-c654-436b-9e98-a4e2694ba626&pf_rd_r=HN5SAZ8QJYDZZ0CAPQJJ&psc=1&refRID=HN5SAZ8QJYDZZ0CAPQJJ
Each book is aimed at a different age group - the title “Its Perfectly Normal” is aimed at ages 10 and up.
My son is only 6 weeks old but I already have the series of books on our shelves. He’s got a long way to go before these conversations start, but I loaned them all to my sister to read with my 7-10 year old niece and nephew and they thoroughly enjoyed them and the conversations and questions that followed.
Sounds to me like you handled it well. Does she have any "appropriate" sources to consult when she is curious? Our daughter has these books:
We read them with her, and they are in her room so she can look at them on her own if she wants.
> it’s still not allowed at her age
I just read some study about how drug talks with kids are more effective when parents explain the why behind things, so make sure you are doing this. I'd probably say something about how porn is a completely unrealistic portrayal of adult sexuality, and how since she is just learning, it can teach her things that are not true, and that could make it harder for her to good meaningful relationships later in life.
Oh honey, that's normal!
I think you did fine, but leaving the onus on him to come to you with questions might not work out. I suspect that a lot of kids aren't very comfortable or very willing to come to their parents with embarrassing questions right out of the blue. And lecturing doesn't do much good. The best approach, in my opinion, is to have short, ongoing, regular conversations about sexual and reproductive health, especially as his development continues and the conversations need to get more specific about some of the details. The more you talk about it, the less awkward it gets, and he'll be more likely to ask questions when it just becomes part of a normal conversation. Also, there are tons of great books about sexual and reproductive health and puberty out there. Get him three or four books and let him read. Get him the girls versions, too, so they're not a complete mystery. I'll include some recommendations below.
Here are some of the things I've added to the conversations I've had with my kid, specifically about porn:
-Pornography only shows actors performing sexual acts for the camera. Typical intimate, physical, sexual relationships between two people don't look very much like porn, so don't be fooled into thinking that's what a sexual relationship really looks like.
-Whether or not watching pornography is ethical or moral is something I think people need to decide for themselves. A lot of people think it's unethical for the following reasons: a) it doesn't show realistic relationships and distorts people's sense of what sex should look like; b) the actors, especially the female actors, are often exploited because they were in a vulnerable position and were taken advantage of; c) there are problems with things like human trafficking; d) some of the actors are underage; e) it can cause problems with addiction and desensitization; f) how would you feel if it was your daughter or sister performing? Do you think you should treat other people's daughters or sisters any differently?
But other people would say there's not a problem with looking at porn, especially if you're careful about the above problems. And a lot of people watch porn, so it's not weird or unusual. But deciding if it's right or not will have to be up to you.
If you do decide to watch porn, I would say -- as with anything else -- do it in moderation, and make sure it's not affecting your ability to have healthy relationships in real life.
Good books on puberty and reproductive and sexual health:
American Medical Association Girl's Guide to Becoming a Teen
by American Medical Association et al.
American Medical Association Boy's Guide to Becoming a Teen
by American Medical Association et al.
What's Happening to My Body? Book for Boys: Revised Edition
by Lynda Madaras et al.
My Body, My Self for Boys: Revised Edition by Lynda Madaras et al.
The Care and Keeping of You 2: The Body Book for Older Girls
by Cara Natterson et al.
What's Happening to My Body? Book for Girls: Revised Edition
by Lynda Madaras et al.
I could not convince my son (now six, but this went down when he was four) that girls had something called a vagina and did not pee out of their very long bums! Since he has a little sister, he has asked how babies get out (and was totally grossed out) but not how they actually get in, although he does know that a man and a woman make a baby together.
Anyway, as much as I want to be that parent who has no problem discussing this stuff with my kids, neither me nor my husband are particularly comfortable with it, and so books have become my friend. I like this one: http://www.amazon.com/Amazing-You-Getting-Smart-Private/dp/0142410586, because it explains why male and female bodies are different, but does not get into the whole intercourse thing. I am pregnant with number three and expecting some more questions, and so I plan on getting a few books that explain intercourse.
Also, I have found this book really helpful in working my way through sexual development and simply being more comfortable with what is happening and what is going to happen. I highly recommend it!
http://www.amazon.com/Everything-Never-Wanted-About-Afraid/dp/1400051282/ref=sr_1_fkmr3_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1425408023&sr=1-2-fkmr3&keywords=questions+you+never+wanted+your+kids+to+ask+about+sex
Sorry I can't make pretty links.
It might be time to get Amazing You to talk about body parts and which ones are private.
This is a great book for 7-10 yr olds. [Sex is a Funny Word] (http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1609806069/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?qid=1463585952&sr=8-1&pi=SY200_QL40&keywords=sex+is+a+funny+word&dpPl=1&dpID=61dh3h-pXdL&ref=plSrch)
Here is a link to the American Girl book in a boy's version:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1604335742/ref=pd_lpo_sbs_dp_ss_1?pf_rd_p=1944687762&pf_rd_s=lpo-top-stripe-1&pf_rd_t=201&pf_rd_i=0545237513&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_r=1BKGX26M5BQH84M3H111
I got this for my 10 year old son. I like that it covers other ground like social relationships, good general hygiene and general self-care in addition to the stuff on puberty. Having a go-to book in their possession is really important -- if they are curious about anything in particular, they can read up on it discreetly. As open as I am with my son, I know he is still shy/embarrassed to talk about certain things.
Seems like this one has great reviews http://www.amazon.com/Amazing-You-Getting-Smart-Private/product-reviews/0142410586/ref=dp_top_cm_cr_acr_txt?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=1
Ok, when I was a kid, my mum bought me a book that we saw at a market stall. I saw it and wanted it. I still have it! It was my bible and I will pass it down to my daughter :-) it’s called The Period Book: Everything you don’t want to know, but need to know.
Here’s a link to it on amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Period-Book-Everything-dont-want/dp/0749917059
Edit: you can get an up to date version here: https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/161963662X/ref=pd_aw_sim_14_3?ie=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=RRJS56S9K1SWXWX4DWKB&dpPl=1&dpID=41zNNl9PrxL
Check out http://www.amazon.com/Care-Keeping-You-Older-Girls/dp/1609580427/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1395121650&sr=1-2&keywords=american+girl+body+book . I haven't seen this one yet, but the one for younger girls was pretty good. Also, this is a good resource http://kidshealth.org/parent/growth/sexual_health/development.html. There's tons of information online about normal sexual development, and it's good to teach your girls about "good" touch and "bad" touch - especially since a bunch of idiots have had sex ed removed from schools. You need to get your wife on board with these things - she'll be at least as big of an influence as you are in terms of comfort with their bodies and development. Your job is mainly to treat your wife well, be respectful towards other women and to not freak out when they start dating. The not freaking out part will be hard since you know how teenage boys think and you know damn well they will go as far with your daughters as they can and half of them will run if things get rough. Teach your daughters that they should never go farther than they want, that they should not always be pleasing others and that they need birth control and condoms when they start having sex. And also teach them that sex is an intimate act that is beautiful but will also leave them vulnerable (at least in the beginning). It should be enjoyable but shouldn't be shared with everyone.
Kids are exposed to things much earlier than they were in the past. And way before their emotional development is ready for it. So watch for signs that your daughters are asking questions or learning things from other kids. Have private talks with them to give them information when this happens because you don't want them learning about sex from the wrong people. Put secure settings on your computer so that they don't see porn because a lot of it can get rough and violent, and they will never be able to un-see it. Girls are not empowered by looking sexy. They are empowered by being strong and confident and being loved as whole people - not sexual objects. If your girls are valued for who they are, they will be comfortable and confident and they will grow into their sexuality on their own.
There are good books for his age, and if you can't wait for those to arrive, you can tell him what breasts are for (in mammals in general too!).
This is the book we used, but there are probably newer ones on the market now --
http://www.amazon.com/dp/0142410586/ref=wl_it_dp_o_pd_nS_ttl?_encoding=UTF8&colid=3S2VIGJW764KF&coliid=IAHCYGO5N2852
Edit: forgot to say that I discussed sexual reproducation with my kid in the context of animal mating in general. That's where babies come from (and also mammal versus non-mammal differences).
Curious boys. There are some great books out there for kids his age.
My (then) four year old was flipping through It's so amazing! and she came to a page that had a man and woman together under a blanket. She exclaimed, "They are squishing together to make a baby!" The book has been sitting in plain sight for years and my baby figured out how the sperm and egg got together before my (then) eight year old. Anyway, I highly recommend the book.
I found this on Amazon
https://www.amazon.com/Whats-Happening-Body-Book-Boys/dp/1557047650
And here's the book:
Puberty Boy https://www.amazon.com/dp/B017X7FGD8/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_87pUBb1K0D6Z8
I would definitely recommend this book for her. I had an older edition but my sister and I found it really helpful growing up.
You don't have to have all the answers but it's important for her to feel comfortable talking to you about things and you being worried about her is a good sign IMO.
It's So Amazing:
https://www.amazon.com/Its-So-Amazing-Families-Library/dp/0763668745/ref=pd_bxgy_14_img_2?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=0763668745&pd_rd_r=E8406R5F8R7CPXBCJMXN&pd_rd_w=NgT8C&pd_rd_wg=qdlYo&psc=1&refRID=E8406R5F8R7CPXBCJMXN
/u/Paralily & /u/atomic_winter - you win!
Send me addresses, or put the books on your wishlists from these links, and I will have the books sent out ASAP!
(edited to add links, bc derp)
The hell we shouldn’t give young kids the whole talk. I was giving the other kids in kindergarten sex Ed lessons. That’s what happens when you live on a farm...animals fuck, it’s unavoidably in your face. I had the mechanics down very early. And so did my kids.
Books to normalize talking about sex:
It's Not the Stork!: A Book About Girls, Boys, Babies, Bodies, Families and Friends (age 4+)
https://www.amazon.com/Its-Not-Stork-Families-Friends/dp/0763633313
It's So Amazing!: A Book about Eggs, Sperm, Birth, Babies, and Families (age 7+)
https://www.amazon.com/Its-So-Amazing-Families-Library/dp/0763668745
It's Perfectly Normal: Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sexual Health (age 9+)
https://www.amazon.com/Its-Perfectly-Normal-Changing-Growing/dp/0763668729
I was looking at this one, and it seems great. I also found that they made a boy version of "The Care and Keeping of You" called Guy Stuff. These might be good in combination, as Guy Stuff focuses on personal health/hygiene/wellbeing, and I know I found that information valuable at his age.
Someone else here recommended amazing you - getting smart about your private parts to me and my 4 year old liked it.
It gets into basic sex ed for preschoolers which may help explain why they are private. Anatomically correct names, sperm and eggs = baby, but not any actual "sex" part of the sex ed. But it explains the private part functions and how they will change as kids grow, etc... its written with 3 - 5 year old kids in mind.
It seems silly, but I was ten, and my mom took me out to dinner and let me ask her any questions that I had. That helped reassure me. She gave me The Care and Keeping of you, which /u/prettylittlefox already linked, and The Period Book was helpful too.
Congrats on your 39 days!
What kind of resources and support system do you have available right now? Other family members? Regular therapist? Insurance? Inheritance?
Just the cleanup must be a huge process and I bet it would help if you could get some professionals in to help.
I’ll link you to appropriate resources...
Some good books to start with:
The Care and Keeping of You 2: The Body Book for Older Girls https://www.amazon.com/dp/1609580427/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_B3-rDb9D8J3T3
Personal Hygiene? What's that Got to Do with Me? https://www.amazon.com/dp/1843107961/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_C5-rDbWSY6ZK3
Hygiene and Related Behaviors for Children and Adolescents with Autism Spectrum and Related Disorders https://www.amazon.com/dp/1934575429/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_b6-rDbM1213Q1
Taking Care of Myself: A Hygiene, Puberty and Personal Curriculum for Young People with Autism https://www.amazon.com/dp/1885477945/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_F6-rDbC0SF8R2
I think you need a trusted source for basic Sex Ed, that you probably missed. A source that you can go back and reference.
Some really good Sex Ed books, with lots of pictures/comics, (which are for teens, but I think they're really good) are written by Robie H. Harris. You can get them on Amazon.com:
Maybe you can find them at your local library?
Other than that, I honestly learned a lot from good internet sources and wikipedia. Learn to think critically about what is a good source of information. Plus, you can always ask your family doctor or gynecologist; and therapy is a great idea too.
I suggest the book Amazing You! I don't know how to link all pretty like but here is the amazon page:
http://www.amazon.com/Amazing-You-Getting-Smart-Private/dp/0142410586/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1405356222&sr=8-1&keywords=amazing+you+getting+smart+about+your+private+parts
Dad of 10yo who just started her period here. I highly recommend this book, as it was highly instructional for me as well as her. This is also a great opportunity to reinforce your relationships with your women pals, especially those with daughters of their own.
Sure
https://www.amazon.com/Its-So-Amazing-Families-Library/dp/0763668745/ref=zg_bs_3214_2/161-8990773-1667619?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=BS12GM4BFDV42MQ1GRXJ
This is what they gave my kid, and I think it's a good book, no pejorative, information that is up to day, starts with the basics. Don't be ashamed because you are learning a little late - you are learning facts, and that's the most important thing.
https://www.amazon.com/Whats-Happening-Girls-Revised-Third/dp/1557047685
I am 99% it was the 1990ish edition of this, I've been trying to remember since I posted because it wasn't coming to me.
It's So Amazing!: A Book about Eggs, Sperm, Birth, Babies, and Families.
My parents gave me two books called The Care and Keeping of You and The Care and Keeping of Me pre-puberty. They were very helpful, and written a level little me (9 year old, maybe?) understood.
I just looked, and it seems they've revised the two books into one for younger girls, and one for older girls. I haven't read these, but they're probably still great. They answered a lot of questions I didn't even know I had, and prepared me for stuff I would have been scared of. In fact, I was so well prepared I was excited for my first period, not freaked out at all. I'd highly recommend getting one for your daughter.
The Care and Keeping of You for Younger Girls
The Care and Keeping of You for Older Girls
We gave our son this one, but there should be a bunch in any large bookstore over in the "parenting" or "teen" sections.
This is the book my parents got my sister and me and I was exactly the same way as OP: fascinated and read it many times. Just another option:
The Period Book: A Girl's Guide to Growing Up https://www.amazon.com/dp/0802777368/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_Yzt-ybXGX4B0J
Was it My Body, My Self?
http://www.amazon.com/Whats-Happening-Body-Book-Boys/dp/1557047650
Just got this book for my kids (9, 6 and 2) and really like it!
http://www.amazon.com/Amazing-You-Getting-Smart-Private/dp/0142410586
Agreed - consent is so important to teach. If anyone is looking for a really good book for kids that teaches about consent and sexuality from a broader perspective than the male centric - penis in vagina male orgasms = sex, Sex is a Funny Word is an amazing book. Highly recommend!
I was given the old version of What's Happening to my Body Book for Girls. It is very long and very clinical and I read the SHIT out of that thing. I plan on giving my daughter an updated version. Some of the info on AIDS etc is outdated now so it wouldn't be right to give my copy to her, though I still own it.
If you have boys and are looking for a good, comprehensive book about puberty that teaches actual scientific facts this book is great. What's Happening to My Body? Book for Boys: Revised Edition https://www.amazon.com/dp/1557047650/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_z32PzbNKMPJYJ There's a girl's version too. Both versions talk about the opposite sex's experience with puberty as well, but in a respectful way. None of this 1950's crap.
No, seriously, you need to read this.
https://www.amazon.ca/dp/1683370260/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_t1_IErRDb9NE58VD
Our kids liked [Its So Amazing] (https://www.amazon.com/Its-So-Amazing-Families-Library-ebook/dp/B00XJQZCGY/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1E0EQIICAZKA1&keywords=its+so+amazing+book&qid=1555365287&s=gateway&sprefix=its+so+ama%2Caps%2C133&sr=8-1)
I think it's quite normal for him to look. I think before buying him one, I might also buy him something like this as well.
Probably this one. It has a very different cover oh so many years later, but this book is still one of the most popular.
There is a book published by the American girl Co, you might want to get her. http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B00BHI2GVU?cache=31e2278a3799e709c219cf8a94cd9a1e&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&qid=1406900973&sr=8-2#ref=mp_s_a_1_2
I don't have experience with this yet but I saw this book on amazon the other day and perhaps it could help your kiddo? I imagine he is on the younger side for the book but still in appropriate age range.
You might draw on It's So Amazing! by Robie H. Harris and Michael Emberley.