(Part 2) Best parenting & relationship books according to redditors

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We found 2,138 Reddit comments discussing the best parenting & relationship books. We ranked the 762 resulting products by number of redditors who mentioned them. Here are the products ranked 21-40. You can also go back to the previous section.

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Subcategories:

Pregnancy books
Adoption books
Aging parents books
Family activity books
Family health books
Family relationship books
Parenting books
Parenting & family books
Special needs parenting books
Fertility books
Babysitting & child care books

Top Reddit comments about Parenting & Relationships:

u/Todd2point0 · 29 pointsr/atheism

I remember when I was around 5 or so this arrogant prick named Phil Phillips came to our church to speak on the evils of toys. This guy was a traveling evangelist and a quack pseudo psychologist. He talked about how pretty much Care Bears, Smurfs, Barbie, Thundercats and every other 80's toy was a tool for the devil in Hollywood's secret cult agenda to convert kids into vessels for satan (I'm not exaggerating this shit).

Because of this motherfucker, my mom thre out EVERY LAST ONE on my Thundercats, Silverhawks, G.I. Joes, Super Powers action figures, and any other thing I may have had that was the devil.

To this day I hate that man with all the fire of a pissed off five year old watching the my toys go in the trash to be taken to the dump.

He also wrote a book called "Turmoil in the Toybox" it sells on Amazon now between a penny and five bucks I think. If anyone can stomach the amount of bullshit this dude shovels, its a good insight into the delusions of some Christians or the work of a smart marketing man attaching a fear to something and preaching about it to make money. Either way the fucker cost me Lion-O.

Here is the link to it on amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Turmoil-Toy-Box-Phil-Phillips/dp/0914984047/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1373900730&sr=1-1&keywords=turmoil+in+the+toy+box


u/Eliz824 · 24 pointsr/toddlers

My two favorites have been:

Brain Rules for Baby by John Medina

How Toddlers Thrive by Tovah P. Klein

​

I listened to both via audiobook, narrated by the authors.

Medina is a neuroscientist and totally geeks out about the long term studies and advice that can be pulled based on observable and repeatable outcomes.

Klein runs a research facility that doubles as a daycare/preschool connected with a university that studies early childhood behaviors.

​

Both are clearly experts in their field, and their advice is rather similar, but both bring a fun perspective. They're both parents as well, and very clearly love their kids as well as put their money where their mouth is!

​

u/Wdiz4 · 22 pointsr/hapas

>I'm also skeptical of, or at least biased against, the idea that my wife married me for social-status reasons. She's far from socially undesirable herself, and is smart enough to get into a medical specialty that'll allow her a far higher income than mine in a few years.

Just the fact that she has higher earning potential than you, solidifies my bias that Asian women marry for whiteness. Whiteness itself is social status is a racist world. A lot of the stories in this subreddit are of Asian women who had high status, marrying down for white men. Just this past month, there was this Ivy league-educated woman from an upper class family marrying a deadbeat cook. There's also this woman who had a masters degree and came from a wealthy Chinese family who was bankrolling her deadbeat white boyfriend who ended up killing her. The definition of internalized white supremacy that leads to WMAF means that Asian women will hold lower standards for white men, because having a white spouse and future white kids is something thats valued by these women. Yea, your case is not as extreme as the two I mentioned, but this is the racist world we live in that you benefit from as a white man.

For anyone who plans on having half-Asian kids, I will always recommend this book by Sharon H. Chang: Raising Mixed Race: Multiracial Asian Children in a Post-Racial World, and her talk. The author is hapa herself, married a hapa, and has a hapa son, and her book published last year is the most comprehensive work out there on mixed Asians. You should understand that your children will considered Asian by society, as dictated by white society, but they will struggle to identify as Asian too. They will have little to no representation, and as parents of hapas who are monoracial, you should educate yourself, instead of blindly believing myths like that your kid will not face racism, that people will not constantly be questioning your children's label to them to rank them in society based on how white or how Asian they look.

u/bubonis · 19 pointsr/Parenting

Highly recommended. My daughter turns seven next month and we've gone through about half the activities in there.

u/stepmomstermash · 16 pointsr/stepparents

You sound like an amazing step dad! I think you should keep on keeping on.

Keep in mind that teenagerdom brings about interest in sex. So it is likely a weird thing for her to even consider loving you at this point. She's now trying to break away from her child self and grow into her adult self. Love and loving physical contact with parents starts to get weird, add in that you aren't her bio and... I'm sure you can imagine how mixed up that can make a person feel.

If you feel like you are both having a good time and she wants to hang out, keep doing it, having a bond with you will be good for her in the tumultuous teen years to come. If you feel like she maybe isn't as into it, keep offering with sincerity and don't let a no hurt your feelings. It has everything to do with being a teenager.

I would highly recommend reading Get Out of My Life, but First Could You Drive Me & Cheryl to the Mall: A Parent's Guide to the New Teenager, Revised and Updated, as well as Queen Bees and Wannabes, 3rd Edition: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boys, and the New Realities of Girl World, and for the boys Masterminds and Wingmen: Helping Our Boys Cope with Schoolyard Power, Locker-Room Tests, Girlfriends, and the New Rules of Boy World.

u/m2guru · 14 pointsr/stepparents

Read and follow this book. If you are diligent, it will change everything. It takes work. Hubby needs to be on board.

Raising Your Spirited Child, Third Edition: A Guide for Parents Whose Child Is More Intense, Sensitive, Perceptive, Persistent, and Energetic https://www.amazon.com/dp/0062403060/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_9o71BbPH5QVCB

Bottom line: you are in control, you just need to remember that, and find the method of behavior modification that works with your SS.

u/ZhuanXia · 14 pointsr/financialindependence

I'd like to see those numbers. There is no way they cost that much. I'd recommend your read Selfish Reasons to Have More Kids.

Most money spent on kids is wasteful signalling. To get politically incorrect, every study we have on enrichment programs, the importance of teachers, any of the other expensive nonsense people spend on children, shows that intelligence (yes we can measure intelligence, no I do not want to get into an argument about it) and grit are mostly genetic.

This is freeing, as it means you are not obligated to waste you money and time ferrying you children around to various enrichment activities or fighting tooth-and-nail for the best school districts. Things will work our however they are going to work out.

In terms of life outcomes, almost all your important influence on your children will happen at conception.

Feed them, love them, teach them to read and do some math. This should not cost you 1 million dollars a kid.

And you are not obligated to pay for college. If college costs are putting you off having kids think about it this way: will your future kids prefer to not exist or to get student loans?

u/IranRPCV · 13 pointsr/exmormon

I am so sorry that you are placed into this situation by your family, but you have to live an authentic life true to yourself if you wish to be happy. There is not enough money in the world to make doing otherwise worth it.

I recommend reading Carol Lynn Pearson's No More Goodbyes

u/micdalli · 12 pointsr/legaladvice

On top of advice already given here, grab a copy of Divorce Poison by Richard Warshak. I know parents in a situation similar to yours and they told me this book was really helpful.

u/CharlesBarkleyGG · 11 pointsr/hapas

http://www.amazon.com/Raising-Mixed-Race-Multiracial-Post-Racial/dp/1138999466

tell them at an early age who they are, that they are mixed and they will be different. tell them that this this is ok and they don't have to be like everyone else

after that generally good parenting applies

no helicopter parenting, encourage physical exercise, instill good self discipline, don't stress on education too much, don't let schooling get in the way of education, let them find a passion and support it. do vaccinations.

u/acbain · 10 pointsr/exjw

Buy and read this book ASAP. It saved my custody case when I went through nearly everything that you described!! Here’s the description:

>> Your ex-spouse is bad mouthing you to your children, constantly portraying you in a negative light, perhaps even trying to turn them against you. If you handle the situation ineffectively, your relationship with your children could suffer. You could lose their respect, lose their affections-even, in extreme cases, lose all contact with them. The conventional advice is to do nothing, that fighting fire with fire will only result in greater injury to the children. But after years of consulting parents who heeded such advice with no success, Dr. Richard Warshak is convinced that this approach is wrong. It doesn't work, and parents are left feeling helpless and hopeless. DIVORCE POISON instead offers a blueprint for effective response. In it, you will learn how to distinguish different types of criticism, how and why parents manipulate their children, how to detect these maneuvers, and how these practices damage children. Most importantly, you'll discover powerful strategies to preserve and rebuild loving relationships with your children.
>>
>>DIVORCE POISON is a time-tested work that gives parents powerful strategies to preserve and rebuild loving relationships with their children-and provides practical advice from legal and mental-health professionals to help their clients and safeguard the welfare of children. Whether they are perpetrators of divorce poison, victims of it, or both, parents who heed Dr. Warshak's advice will enable their children to maintain love and respect for their parents-even if their parents no longer love and respect each other.
https://www.amazon.com/Divorce-Poison-New-Updated-Bad-mouthing/dp/0061863262

u/OneTwoEightSixteen · 9 pointsr/todayilearned

https://thesocietypages.org/socimages/2008/02/06/correlations-of-iq-with-income-and-wealth/

Being smarter is correlated to a higher income.

http://www.bc.edu/content/dam/files/schools/cas_sites/psych/pdf/critique_income_.pdf

"Consider that both school attainment (mean
number of years of schooling completed) and intelligence
are highly heritable, both heritability coefficients (h2s)
between .60 and .80"

https://www.amazon.com/Selfish-Reasons-Have-More-Kids/dp/046501867X

This is a good book that goes into depth on how many of our traits seem to be tied to our genetics.

u/effortlessnetinho · 9 pointsr/hapas

Sharon Chang (a hapa) wrote a great book about raising half asian kids:

https://www.amazon.com/Raising-Mixed-Race-Multiracial-Post-Racial/dp/1138999466/ref=sr_1_cc_1?s=aps&ie=UTF8&qid=1482567027&sr=1-1-catcorr&keywords=sharon+chang

She also has a blog here:

http://multiasianfamilies.blogspot.com/

This sub is a little crazy for everyone, pretty much TLDR: kids of white male and asian women deal with self esteem issues while growing up. While kids of white women and asian men usually don't.

u/HappilyMeToday · 9 pointsr/BabyBumps

Happiest Baby on the Block is a great book for anyone/everyone.

Baby Brain Rules is one both my SO and I enjoyed, lots of science there.

We did not really read any books on the childbirth topic, just internet and a 5 week course at the hospital. I wish you luck!

u/KeenDreams · 8 pointsr/atheism

She had good intentions in doing everything she did. Including taking inspiration from this wretched book and raising me to be a fundamentalist.

Doesn't change the fact that it was wrong and fucked up.

u/bvot · 8 pointsr/Parenting

this book . I read it, but my wife didn't. I was on the fence about having more children. We had three healthy, awesome kids. Why take the chance, you know? My wife, however, is a great mother. She loves being pregnant, she loves giving birth to our children, and would probably love nothing more than to immediately get pregnant again after having our last one.

After I read this, I really felt better about going for the fourth child (and possibly soon the fifth).

u/ayriana · 8 pointsr/stepparents

Someone on here suggested "Get out of my life, but first could you drive me and Cheryl to the mall?" and I read it this past week. I definitely found it useful. There were chapters that were almost word for word things he said he "wished he knew what to do" about. There were a couple parts that I read out loud to DH and he kind of dismissed me. I told him that he should read it and he was not interested at all. It's frustrating because yes, my son is a lot younger and DH is a more experienced parent, but at the same time- I have experience working with teenagers (education). Not to mention, I used to be a teenage girl who had some of the same behaviors that are frustrating him. Sometimes I think he just wants to complain about a problem more than solve it.

u/impotent_rage · 8 pointsr/exmormon

>When it comes to gay issues, most Mormons have only the muddiest understanding of what life is like for gay people or about the doctrinal reasons their LDS leaders say and do the things they do. In fact, most Mormons have only the muddiest understanding about what their church leaders are really saying about homosexuality. The message of understanding and compassion has not trickled down. And this is dangerous, because most LDS children who grow up to be gay are born and raised in families that feel they must choose between accepting and supporting their child and staying with the church that defines their lives.


This is why EVERY member of the LDS church needs to read Carol Lynn Pearson's books, Goodbye I Love You and No More Goodbyes. These are books which are written by a faithful mormon, to other faithful mormons, so they can be received without challenging a mormon too hard or offending them too deeply. But they also are the perfect education on what homosexuality really is. The first book is the story of her homosexual husband and their failed and tragic marriage. The second book is all the stories of homosexual people who have come to her and told her their story since the first book was published. You can't read these books without leaving ignorance and prejudice behind. It should be required reading for every single church member.

In fact...any of you who has a mormon on your christmas giving list, I would HIGHLY suggest giving these books for christmas.

u/kaihatsusha · 7 pointsr/AskReddit

Dad wisdom to my daughter:

  • Self-reliance: If your fingers aren't strong enough, use a tool.
  • Ethics disappointments: Only you can decide what kind of person you want to be.
  • School: You may already know most of this stuff, but college/employers need to see the scores.
  • Love: Families come in all kinds. I don't care if you love a boy or a girl. Just be safe and happy.

    Any question she asks indicates she's ready for an honest, informative (age-appropriate) answer.

    I try not to be a slob or a couch-potato in my relaxation time. I've always got hobbies and goals to pursue, and open to her involvement if she chooses to watch or help. Hopefully, she will always be able to keep herself occupied when she has time alone.

    And buy a copy of Fifty Dangerous Things You Should Let Your Children Do.
u/Candlelight25 · 6 pointsr/exmormon

Be patient with yourself, but persistent. You'll get there. I'd recommend getting yourself a copy of this book. You can get a used copy fairly cheap on Amazon, but it's worth more than it's weight in gold. Don't go down the road of celibacy. I have close friends who took that road and now they're miserable and lonely. It breaks my heart.

u/RuhWalde · 6 pointsr/stepparents

Get out of my Life, but First Could You Drive Me and Cheryl to the Mall is a good one for dealing with teenagers, though it's not specifically intended for steps. Although it definitely focuses on the child in the sense that it aims to help you understand why they act the way they do, it is all in the context of understanding that the adults in the household have needs and feelings too. It really helped me understand my SD better.

u/[deleted] · 6 pointsr/Parenting

My little one used to have tantrums regularly. Not anymore. I read a book that helped a lot.

The book is called
Raising a Spirited child

I read probably half of the book and found enough useful information that I could implement right away that I never actually read the whole thing.

u/tbessie · 6 pointsr/childfree
u/TheTallestOfTopHats · 6 pointsr/exmormon

Statistically speaking, you likely missed out on some happiness, but you'll get a lot of happiness from your kid when they (and you) are old so you'll come out ahead. Plus, you actually don't have to be quite involved in their lives as most people think.

Kids are essentially happiness bonds, unless they die or turn out to be pyschopaths or something.

u/aglet · 6 pointsr/stepparents

Definitely sounds like it's time for you to disengage. You shouldn't be parenting your stepkids more than your partner is willing to, and you definitely shouldn't measure your self-worth by how your stepkids treat you. It's actually pretty normal for stepkids to keep their stepparents at a distance, especially at first. And yes, even at 2 years in, you are still in the earliest stages of blending your family, which takes on average 5 to 7 years.

If you're concerned that parental alienation is happening, as others have suggested in this thread, I highly recommend reading Divorce Poison. Gives some good suggestions for recognizing PAS and counteracting it as best you can when the kids are with you. Good luck! We dealt with that shit for years and it definitely was not easy. <3

u/drb226 · 6 pointsr/latterdaysaints

I'm floored at how accurately you have described me and my feelings.

> As a gay mormon, Elder Oak's talk makes me feel that living life is impossible. I really do want to get married and have a family, but it's impossible. Marrying a woman is my idea of a nightmare, marrying a man won't be acceptable to God, my family, and society. I feel I'm painted into a corner.

That sounds exactly like me a few years ago. Exactly. Except that I hadn't told anybody else at that point; it's the sort of thing I would only tell myself via an inner monologue. Being in the closet is a very, very lonely feeling, and so confusing.

> I feel like there is a gaping hole in the plan of salvation for those who are LGTB.

This is exactly how I have felt, and how I feel now. It makes me feel like the church is treating me as second class. As unimportant. "Oh, just shoehorn yourself into this plan that caters to straight people." It doesn't work like that. Feelings of love are the most profound thing; if anything is of God, it's love. How can my deepest, most profound God-given feelings possibly be wrong?

----

I urge you to learn more about the painful intersection of Mormonism and homosexuality. I highly recommend:

  • No More Goodbyes, a collection of true stories assembled by Carol Lynn Pearson. Her autobiography, Goodbye I Love You, is also a great read.
  • Gay Mormon Stories podcast. Self explanatory. The latest episode (as of Oct 9, 2013) is a recounting of various LGBT people's affirming spiritual experiences and definitely worth your time.

    North Star was mentioned. Evergreen is a similar organization, which I believe has more official church support than North Star. While those two are focused on dealing with homosexuality within the context of being an active member of the church, another group called Affirmation is more focused on LGBT people accepting themselves first, and letting their church interactions come after that. I have little experience with any of these three groups so can neither recommend nor caution against any of them.
u/CyanJustice · 6 pointsr/childfree

As a kid, I thought that kids had a lot of things geared toward them, but it was ultimately a grownup's world (mature TV shows, freedom of mobility, etc.). I wonder if times are changing. Like, we kids had our fun and our parents put us first, but we were given boundaries, rules, and taught lessons that come with parenting. We learned that kids don't have to be included in everything, and we could only attend certain events when we were older. And if we did go to an event for the parents (Idk, like if we were dragged to a Tupperware party), we would bring a book/video game and quietly entertain ourselves or play with the other kids without disturbing the adults. There was a book I've been wanting to read here that pertains to this issue.

Edited for grammar.

u/loosepajamas · 6 pointsr/BabyBumps

Absolutely no issues with flying during pregnancy. Some airlines restrict pregnant women from flying past ~36 weeks, but I think that's because they don't want you going into labor in their airplane cabin at 32,000 feet. After getting thru security, buy a bottle of water for your wife. I was on a 2-hour flight over Christmas and was dying of thirst waiting for the drink cart to come down the aisle. Also, give her the aisle seat if possible so she can walk the aisles periodically to keep the blood moving and access the bathroom quickly if needed.

As for books, I've read a lot of good ones. I've liked the Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy, and Elisabeth Bing's Six Practical Lessons for an Easier Childbirth and Ina May's Guide to Childbirth for info on labor and delivery, and The Happiest Baby on the Block and the Wonder Weeks for infant care. Also The Birth Partner is a great book on delivery for both pregnant women and husbands. If you can find a secondhand bookstore near you, check it out--a lot of people sell off these types of books once they're done with them.

u/ReddisaurusRex · 5 pointsr/Parenting

Congrats! Here are my tips . . . (Cut and pasted from another post.)

  1. Stay positive - your attitude/outlook can really make a difference :)

  2. Watch (don't read/or read after watching) The Happiest Baby on the Block film (see below.)

  3. I see you are a reader - I felt like after reading the below books and listening to my parent friends' experiences, I was prepared for almost everything pregnancy and the first couple years of parenthood threw at me (I learn best from reading, and this was just my personal method that worked for me in making confident and informed decisions, or figuring out where to go for more research) - I know a lot of people don't learn best this way/get frustrated trying to implement something really specific if it doesn't work for their baby, rather than just taking pieces of everything they've heard/read about and adapting it to work for them.)

    These helped me make better decisions because they presented me with many options to try for trial and error, or good jumping off points for further research. I have honestly never had a "what do I do now?!" parenting moment because I have read so much that I have back up plans in my pocket if the first thing I try doesn't work. I have also never had any of the struggles with my son that a lot of people have around sleeping, eating, behavior, etc. and while I know some of that is because we have a healthy kid, I truly believe a lot of it comes from being an informed parent who explores all the options and tries the ones that have the most evidence for working well in combination with what feels right for me and my family.

    I tried to just list the neutral/middle of the road books that are fun and/or give enough indepth information on most sides of an issue to be a great jumping off point for exploring particular parenting styles, options, etc.

    In no particular order:

  • Bringing up Bebe - Tells the parenting story of an American expat. living in Paris, and how she observed different parenting techniques between American and French families, and how that plays out in children's behavior. It is a fun "experience" story and I think it lends some interesting insights.

  • Pregnancy, childbirth, and the newborn - I think this is the most informative, neutral, pregnancy book out there. It really tries to present all sides of any issues. I can't recommend this book enough. From here, you could explore the options that best fit your needs (e.g. natural birth, etc.)

  • Taking Charge of Your Fertility - Look into this if you find you are having trouble conceiving, or if you want to conceive right away. Really great tips on monitoring the body to pinpoint the most fertile times and stay healthy before becoming pregnant.

  • The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding - This is published by Le Leche League and really has everything you need to know about breastfeeding, pumping, etc. After baby is born, kellymom.com is a good resource for quickly referring to for breastfeeding questions later, but seriously don't skip this book - it is great!

  • Dr. Spock's Baby and Childcare - Really comprehensive and probably the most widely read book about every aspect of child health and development (and also a lot of what to expect as parents.)

  • NurtureShock - by far the most interesting book I've ever read in my life. Basically sums up research on child development to illuminate how many parents and educators ignore research based evidence on what works well for raising children. If you read nothing else in this book, at least read the sleep chapter!

  • What's Going on in There? - This book was written by a neuroscientist after becoming a mom about brain development from pregnancy through about age 5. It has some of the same research as NurtureShock but goes way more in depth. I found it fascinating, but warning, I could see how it could scare some people with how much detail it goes into (like how many people feel that "What to Expect When Expecting" is scary.)

  • Happiest Baby on the Block - There is a book, but really you can/should just watch the DVD. It has 5 very specific techniques for calming a fussy baby. Here are some recent reddit comments about it. Someday I will buy Dr. Karp a drink - love that man!

  • The Wholesome Baby Food Guide - this book is based on a website which has some of the same information, but the book goes way more in depth about how to introduce food, with particular steps, to set baby up for a lifetime of good (non picky) eating habits.

  • A variety of sleep books, so you can decide which method you might be comfortable with (I believe the Baby Whisperer and Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child are pretty middle of the road, but you can look into bedsharing (The Dr. Sear's books) or the other end (Babywise) as discussed in other comments already here, etc. - these last two links I am letting my personal bias show - sorry, but I just think it is good to know all sides of an issue.)

  • Huffington Post Parents section often has "experience" articles, and browsing subs like this can help with that too.

  • A lot of people love the Bill Cosby Fatherhood book too, but my husband and I haven't read it, so I can't say for sure what is in it, but I imagine it is "experiences" based

  • The Wonder Weeks - describes when and how babies reach developmental milestones, what to expect from those, and how to help your baby with them.
u/thursdayborn · 5 pointsr/waiting_to_try

I highly recommend that you read the book "All joy and no fun: The paradox of modern parenting. " I think it does a good job of trying to puzzle out why the research seems to show that having children makes people unhappy, and yet people also say that having children is one of the best things that has happened to them. I found the book overall reassuring, but I do think it's good to go into having children with the understanding that the first few years are especially hard (including the pregnancy! Not to mention possible miscarriages and infertility) and will put stress on the relationship, especially if you can't afford to hire people to do a lot of the child care and house work.

There's all sorts of unpleasant things to talk through about having children. Would you ever terminate a pregnancy for medical reasons? What happens if one of your children dies, at any age? What if they're in critical condition with brain damage? Would you "pull the plug" or keep them on support and potentially have a changed child to take care of indefinitely? Does the answer change depending on how old the child is? You don't need to have answers, but it's good to touch base and have some idea of where each other is coming from.

http://www.amazon.com/All-Joy-No-Fun-Parenthood/dp/0062072226

u/durbinmj79 · 5 pointsr/Survival

There's a book that addresses a lot of what you're talking about. It's "50 Dangerous Things". The author writes about letting your kids do things that we probably did as kids that taught us very valuable skills.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/0451234197/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_AYRAybKE8WJKE

u/mommystinky · 5 pointsr/Parenting

I was having similar thoughts and questions when my DD was around that age. Bought the e-book version of All Joy and No Fun: The Paradox of Modern Parenthood by Jennifer Senior. It addresses this very topic with great real-life stories and insights. She also has a TED talk on the subject you can find on YouTube.

u/giveer · 5 pointsr/horror

You labeling those pictures of a demon as "subliminal" is incorrect labelling. It's not subliminal, you can see it with the naked eye with no prompting. He could've worked for the Department of Witchcraft and Child Sacrifice - it doesn't change the fact that the images aren't subliminal.

>I truly don't understand people like you.

I used to be like you. Horror stories of secular music, "Turmoil in the Toybox" books, Hells Bells - anti-rock n roll videos, subliminal messaging, demons in children's toys and movies. Yeah, I've been there. People like me didn't make sense to me back then either.

u/frugalwater · 5 pointsr/raisingkids

My wife and I like Brain Rules for Baby by John Medina


It's him explaining what certain studies have shown regarding different aspects of childhood, such as the effect television has on kids under the age of 2. That something you're looking for?

u/LizardBurger · 5 pointsr/dankchristianmemes

100% serious. I would also say that experience wasn't completely atypical in an evangelical Christian family in the 80s or early 90s. Luckily, we've chilled out a little since then.

The book

u/fleebnork · 4 pointsr/WaltDisneyWorld

My wife and I booked using Small World Vacations and couldn't be more pleased. They will help you get things set up and find the best deals. The Fall discounts were announced yesterday and my wife got an email from SWV at 7:45am with the update.

Also, you really should get a copy of the Unofficial Guide. It has reviews of EVERYTHING, including rides, hotels, restaurants, shops and they don't pull punches if something isn't good. It is the most thorough source I can recommend. It includes exhaustively researched information, down to small details like which rooms are the quietest, bus travel times from each resort, etc.

The UG also includes touring plans, to help you make the most of your time and minimize standing in line.

Do not underestimate how complex WDW can be! It's a huge resort with four theme parks. Doing some planning beforehand can save you hours of standing in line.

Good luck!

u/thaen · 4 pointsr/Parenting

It's also the fault of your genetics, for what it's worth:

http://www.amazon.com/Selfish-Reasons-Have-More-Kids/dp/046501867X

(so say adoption and twin studies)

u/liliumsuperbum · 4 pointsr/BabyBumps

"Brain Rules for Babies" by John Medina may be of interest to you. I haven't read "Expecting Better," but based on the blurb it seems the two books have similar goals: providing peer-reviewed information and avoiding the propagation of myths.


At the beginning of my pregnancy, I worried I wasn't doing enough to optimize fetal development. There's so much information to be found on pregnancy and child care, I kept wondering, "Which advice should I follow? What helps and what hinders?" It was overwhelming! I'm a FTM, and I've never been around babies, so I was clueless. The pregnancy chapter in "Brain Rules" really simplified it for me: take care of yourself physically and mentally and let the fetus do it's thing. The book continues to cover relationships, brain development, emotional development, and moral development with similar clarity.


I have a few other books such as "What to Expect the First Year" but I just keep them around for reference, haven't actually read all the way through them. Other books I've considered buying are "Mind in the Making" and "NurtureShock."

u/rproctor · 4 pointsr/WaltDisneyWorld

There are a dozen similar resources, but as a default I recommend you pick up the Unofficial Guide.

http://www.amazon.com/dp/1628090006

You will have a much better time with a plan.

u/sblanky · 3 pointsr/Parenting

For the teen years, my favorite is "Get Out of My Life, but First Could You Drive Me & Cheryl to the Mall"

https://www.amazon.com/Life-First-Could-Drive-Cheryl/dp/0374528535/

u/Readbooks6 · 3 pointsr/exmormon

> Carol Lynn Pearson

I was going to suggest another book by her - No More Goodbyes: Circling the Wagons Around Our Gay Loved Ones

https://www.amazon.com/No-More-Goodbyes-Circling-Wagons/dp/0963885243/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8

u/jbristow · 3 pointsr/daddit

The only "fatherhood" book I could stand: Be Prepared

The only "baby" book I could stand: (and they have a good Toddler one from the same series)
Baby 411: Clear Answers & Smart Advice For Your Baby's First Year

u/Anna_rampage · 3 pointsr/AgainstHateSubreddits

> Now how many do you think would have seen us together and assumed I was fetishizing her and that she hated Asian men or whatever the suggestion is. Someone who applies those assumptions on the regular would have seen me with her, at a party or just walking down the street, buying groceries together, and just have that belief re-enforced, despite being wrong in this case.

I don't assume that.

> "Seems to be a trend" is a bit of a cop out, an apology to absolve one of the intellectually lazy, shallow, negative generalizations that are about to follow.

Wouldn't you say that it's a trend that the_donald is often transphobic or islamaphobic? There is a new dude from /r/the_donald saying they have a traditional wife but "will be well rounded kids with no identity issues." Maybe twice a week? If you don't believe me come join the sub. Do I think all white guys dating asian girls fetishize them? No. That would be grossly hypocritical. I have a white ex.

> but is anyone really benefiting from a conversation that seems to revolve around and reinforce these generalizations?

Is it radical to ask couple to analyze why they are together and to make sure it isn't because of internalized racism or fetish and to make sure it truly is of love? Better couples with internalized racism or fetish don't have kids. It's not a good home environment. Racist people are not competent to raise mixed race children. They will only make their children's lives miserable.

Who is benefiting, I would say future hapa kids who are born from the a toxic environment need people to relate to and become comfortable in their racial identity, it's one place you won't be othered for being hapa. I would say it's a community by hapas for hapas mainly.

Oh and it's also benefitting future parents. There have been several threads asking for advise to what people thought their parents got right and got wrong and how to help raise a healthy mixed kid. Making sure people have access to hapa representation and common mistakes is also important. These are great booksr on raising mixed race.

http://www.amazon.com/Part-Asian-100-Hapa-Fulbeck/dp/0811849597?ie=UTF8&*Version*=1&*entries*=0

http://www.amazon.com/Raising-Mixed-Race-Multiracial-Post-Racial/dp/1138999466?ie=UTF8&*Version*=1&*entries*=0

u/bookchaser · 3 pointsr/raisingkids

He's advising other people take risks, risks he has not taken himself nor could he truly understand.

Does he have a book out?

Edit: Yep. His ideas are not new or novel, and the people beating this drum in the media have a book to hawk.

u/captaingoodnight · 3 pointsr/disney

Get The Unofficial Guide. It's $12 and changed my life (in regards to WDW).

u/dermanus · 3 pointsr/MensRights

I'm in the middle of a good book that talks about how much of school is more about training conformity and obedience than about creating properly trained critical thinkers.

Mindless application of the rules in a situation like this seems like a great example of that kind of approach. I read this situation like a good teacher being pushed out for political reasons.

u/CTSVERROR · 3 pointsr/Divorce

Ahh OK. Well good luck. This book might help Divorce-Poison-New-Updated-Bad-mouthing

u/Olgaar · 3 pointsr/TheWayWeWere

There's an author, Jennifer Senior, who wrote All Joy and No Fun: The Paradox of Modern Parenthood. She believes it was 'round about the time when child labor laws went in to effect where children really went from being something with specific, quantifiable economic value to the family, to being something which we vaguely describe as "invaluable" or "irreplaceable". But that change is a recent one and one she argues our society still hasn't completely adapted to, in large part because of all the other changes in society and family structure during that time.

The book focuses largely on US culture and society. I have to sheepishly admit I didn't finish it. But what I read was interesting (though somewhat female-centric), and I wish I had finished it before I returned it to the library.

u/kittyjam · 3 pointsr/stepparents

Stepmonster was great. I read half the damn book to FH. May I recommend some books for parents of preteens in general--may help you understand why she is the way she is.

Get out of my life!

Untangled

My personality type dictates that I have a really hard time sympathizing with people. I did a shit ass job of trying to understand my SD12's feelings for like three years. I also resented her and had too much anger directed at her instead of where it was supposed to go (myself for how I reacted to her). Finally all clicked for me a year ago and I read a lot of books to get me to that point (I was also against having children....until I met her!) Good luck and hang in there.

u/tentacular · 3 pointsr/atheism

I am not qualified to judge his interpretations of the evidence, but I find John Allegro's theory that Christianity arose out of a hallucinogenic mushroom cult of ancient Jews pretty interesting.

u/part_irish · 3 pointsr/Parenting

My son is also "spirited," though in slightly different ways. I've found Raising Your Spirited Child really helpful. "Spirited" kids are intense and it takes a lot out of you. I'm a SAHM but we had to put my son into part-time preschool because I just couldn't handle him 24/7. I will say the more exercise he gets the better his behavior is. When he was two he could walk a mile or two at a time, hike up easy mountains, etc. and it took that much exertion to zap the energy he would otherwise put into tantrums.

As for the screaming: I would say it's a phase, even though it's been months. My son didn't scream but he whined all day long. I told him I wouldn't do what he wanted unless he asked in a "big boy voice" and then demonstrated what that sounded like. The most important part is not giving in to the screams.

My son is now approaching 4 and we feel that he's struggling with some sort of anxiety. Since both you and your wife have anxiety it's not impossible that the screaming is just his terrible coping mechanism for his own anxiety.

As far as a break, would he watch cartoons? Daniel Tiger or old school Mister Rogers are fantastic. Daniel Tiger especially focuses on social education. Maybe start with the "Grown-ups come back" episode in case he's still struggling with separation anxiety?

u/golin · 3 pointsr/mycology

better to learn both poisonous and edible.

Eastern US

Mushrooms of the Northeastern United States and Eastern Canada The most recently published for the NE

Mushrooms of the Northeast by Walt Sturgeon An excellent pocket guide, Walt does a good job mentioning the lesser known look alikes.

Mushrooms of Northeast North America A great guide for beginners, with many pictorial and dichotomous guides to ID fungi.

Mushrooms of Northeastern North America Has the most species listed for the NE.

u/KingSnazz32 · 3 pointsr/personalfinance

I have four kids and wish I had a fifth. I think too many smart, thoughtful people talk themselves out of having kids, and too many people who are . . . well, other than smart and thoughtful are having them.

A child is not just a source of outgoing funds, either. Assuming you like children (and if you like nieces and nephews, you'll love your own kids even more), then they are more rewarding than anything else you'll do. If you are a good parent and have good kids, your children will also be your support in your older years (I don't mean financially), as well as hopefully provide you with the grandkids that will be even more fun, and far less work.

A book that I wish I'd read earlier that I recommend to both parents and those thinking about having kids, is Selfish Reasons to Have More Kids. There's a strong economic case in that book, as well, so it's not off topic.

u/acaciopea · 3 pointsr/BabyBumps

What to Expect (so patronizing, I couldn't even finish it)

The Mayo Clinic guide (horribly written, really dumbed down)

I wasn't thrilled with the Hypnobirthing book (the Monghan Method). I actually get the purpose of the technique and took classes but I had to wade through a lot of woo. That book could have been a booklet and they could stand to elevate the reading level a bit.

I read probably every book on baby sleep ever published. The one I think is most underrated is the Ferber book. Regardless of your opinion on the so-called Ferber method, there's a lot of great sleep science in that book. Didn't like the Baby Whisperer at all, and not because I had an issue with the methods but the writing and tone. My god.

Since I've trashed a bunch of books I'll make some recommendations:

Birth Day: A Pediatrician Explores the Science, the History, and the Wonder of Childbirth This isn't so much a what to expect but covers what is going on during pregnancy and childbirth. It's super interesting and very well written. I wish more people knew about this book.

Your New Pregnancy Bible pro: very detailed, lots of info. con: no one edited the damn thing

I actually liked the Happiest Baby on the Block but I thought it could be half as long.

Baby 411 This is more for when they're born but it's really straightforward and gives you summaries of current thinking on most things baby-related. Then you can do further research.

u/Dikaneisdi · 3 pointsr/BabyBumps

Get yourself this book - https://www.amazon.com/Commando-Dad-Basic-Training-Elite/dp/1849532613

It's a book aimed at dads, but honestly I found it more helpful than a lot of mum books. My partner LOVED it and recommends it to everyone. It's basically written like an army training manual for newborns, and it has lots of common-sense advice, lists of equipment you need, and step by step points for dealing with daily things like changing, feeding, sleeping etc.

Also - start saving as much money as you can NOW. Look for second hand items (except for a car seat - safety is key and you don't know the history of a secondhand piece of safety equipment). The baby doesn't need much for its first few weeks - somewhere to sleep (like a Moses basket), a few onesies, some blankets and burp cloths, nappies, wipes, and bottles etc if you're pumping/using formula. A stroller and a carrier will come in handy too. That's pretty much it.

Best of luck to you both!

u/starry-starry-starry · 3 pointsr/raisedbynarcissists

Yep. Any time I got back home from spending the night at a friend's house or simply went away from nfather to hang out with a friend, and I came back cranky, it was all my evil friend's fault that I was "acting like such a little bitch!" It couldn't be that I was tired from riding my bike with my friend, staying up all night, swimming, or doing any other activity that would cause me to be tired and cranky.

Right before I got married, my nfather told me he had a dream that Mr. Starry kicked me out of the house because (in the dream), I was an alcoholic. Something about this just didn't sit right with me. Why would you tell me this? Especially right before I'm getting married. I called him a few days later and expressed my discomfort, telling him that it took a few days to process things in my mind about how it didn't feel right for him to tell me about that dream. I told him I felt like he wanted Mr. Starry to dump me so I would have to come back home and live with him. He told me "Sounds like your mother has divorce poisoned you against me!" Nfather just loved to accuse my mother of divorce poisoning me against him, when he was the one who brainwashed my younger sister and I against her when he got a bogus order of protection against my mother in order to get her kicked out of her own house so he could move his girlfriend and her kids in. In other words, nfather alienated us from my mother, and not the other way around. Ns love to project, and for a while there, I truly believed that my friends were bad people simply because nfather said they were. It took me a long time to learn to truly think for myself without nfather's influence.

u/black_frost · 3 pointsr/atheism

When I was younger, this book was given to my parents and needless to say it made my young life "un-fun"... People really do take that shit seriously.

u/light0507 · 3 pointsr/DeadBedrooms

My ex was abusive, so I understand. The lies can do a lot of damage. The problem is, as many as you recognize as such, there are lies you haven't recognized yet. I am nearly four years out and just today realized another lie she told me! The term is "gaslighting" if you want to look it up.

Beware the quiet. He is probably winding up for something - either a big attack or a big push to get you back.

My children were young adults when I told them, so they had some maturity. I stayed for them until they were grown. It's a decision I'm still conflicted about, but I think now it was on balance wrong. I did protect them in most of the ways I had hoped, but left them open to things I was ignorant of. The family was dysfunctional so there's that too. There's no getting around that with an abuser.

Co-parenting is difficult with these types. I haven't read it, but my support group recommends Divorce Poison by Dr. Richard Warshak.

Glad you are already feeling better! It's an unusual time. For me, I went through some of the most difficult times ever, but was also happier than I'd been in my life. Quite a roller coaster!

u/ProfessorLX · 3 pointsr/todayilearned

The Sacred Mushroom and the Cross

a GREAT book by John Allegro that if you are at all interested in this type of stuff I would 100% recommend. Whether it's true or not I'm not going to speculate, but there is some very interesting "evidence" (evidence in quotes since he is using paintings and the bible for reference) that seems to support his theory.

also as a follow up, by Jan Irving and directly reviewing and critiquing The Sacred Mushroom and the Cross is: The Holy Mushroom: Evidence of Mushrooms in Judeo-Christianity

u/SoundSalad · 3 pointsr/self

Absolutely. Perhaps it was due to intentional ingestion of mushrooms or other psychedelics. Some theorize that our ancestors may have been under the influence of psychedelics when they saw God - "The Sacred Mushroom and the Cross". Terrance McKenna theorized that mushrooms were responsible for the emergence of language. Google Stoned Ape Theory.

u/Suziannie · 3 pointsr/WaltDisneyWorld

This book is actually a really great resource as it not only covers the where and the what, but it contains some great example touring plans that might help you plan your days there if time is a factor.

I always buy one before each trip as a way to formulate a plan of attack. It can be a great resource!

u/fishlabrat · 2 pointsr/daddit

Baby 411: Clear Answers and smart advice for your baby's first year (https://www.amazon.com/Baby-411-Clear-Answers-Advice/dp/1889392510). This book is straight forward and was recommended by multiple pediatricians (my wife's an obgyn resident and has multiple pediatrician friends from med school). Also second The Happiest Baby on the Block.

u/MancombQSeepgood · 2 pointsr/daddit

Fantastic gift. Here’s a book to go with your new aesthetic

u/solarsavior · 2 pointsr/atheism

Here is a good list of sources for anyone that takes interest in this. I don't consider all of the information to be 100% correct, but I think it is a far better explanation than "the Bible is the literal word of God" or "the Bible is a work of fiction."

http://www.skyscript.co.uk/sunheath.html
The Astronomy & Astrology of the Solar Hero Myth by Robin Heath
(33 year cycle of the Sun)

http://www.amazon.com/Sacred-Mushroom-Cross-Christianity-Fertility/dp/0340128755
John M. Allegro - The Sacred Mushroom and the Cross: A Study of the Nature and Origins of Christianity within the Fertility Cults of the Ancient Near East
(John M. Allegro was on the team that translated the Dead Sea Scrolls)

http://johnallegro.org/Allegro-SundayMirror.htm
Sacred Mushroom and the Cross, Sunday Mirror Series, 1970, By John Marco Allegro
(book excerpts and such)

http://freemasonry.bcy.ca/history/paine_t.html
Thomas Paine’s Origin of Free-Masonry
"The Christian religion and Masonry have one and the same common origin: both are derived from the worship of the Sun. The difference between their origin is, that the Christian religion is a parody on the worship of the Sun, in which they put a man whom they call Christ, in the place of the Sun, and pay him the same adoration which was originally paid to the Sun"

http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.ushistory.org/more/images/rising-sun-chair.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.ushistory.org/more/sun.htm&h=699&w=378&sz=75&hl=en&start=1&sig2=JDPvZst_3LbBTYFQa8pLaw&um=1&tbnid=sy5L25DqCbtgpM:&tbnh=139&tbnw=75&ei=2eSeSIy0G5SypgTiu8TgBw&prev=/images%3Fq%3Drising%2Bsun%2Bchair%2Bwashington%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26safe%3Doff%26sa%3DN
The Rising Sun Armchair (George Washington's Chair)
(something I find of interest as the Sun is clearly depicted and it looks like an amanita muscaria mushroom directly above it, my best bet is that Freemasons know much of the knowledge from the ancient mystery schools)

http://www.amazon.com/Jesus-Christ-Sun-God-Cosmology/dp/0835606961
Jesus Christ, Sun of God: Ancient Cosmology and Early Christian Symbolism (Paperback) by David Fideler
(I still struggle to understand much of what is in this book. It is some of the knowledge of the mystery schools. It is a very deep book.)

http://www.amazon.com/Pagan-Christ-Recovering-Lost-Light/dp/0802714498
The Pagan Christ: Recovering the Lost Light (Hardcover) by Tom Harpur
(an excellent book and an excellent first read for anyone interested in this subject,
Tom Harpur was an Anglican minister, a CBC Documentary was even done called "The Pagan Christ", it was recently re-broadcast as an InFocus episode on HDNet)

http://www.calendar-updates.com/info/holidays/us/easter.aspx
(how the day of Easter is calculated)


http://m_euser.tripod.com/gmass/kmarchiv.htm
Links to Alvin Boyd Kuhn and Gerald Massey archives

"Alvin Boyd Kuhn and Gerald Massey have done a lot of research into the myths and religions of this world.

Alvin Boyd Kuhn wrote many books documenting his in-depth research into the pagan origin of Christianity. You can find an overview of his work here

Gerald Massey was the teacher of Kuhn. Massey was one of the few truly independent researchers of religion. He was known for his vast knowledge of religious symbolism. Among his works you can find research respecting ancient Egyptian civilization (see: Massey lectures) and its symbols. He wrote about the Christian belief too. Take a look at his work"

(many books written today on this subject, like those of Acharya S,. are mostly based upon the works of these two men)

http://members.cox.net/deleyd/religion/solarmyth/christ2002.htm
Solar Mythology and the Jesus Story
(great website by David W. Deley's who has studied this topic, many links from his site, one of the first places where I started finding information)

http://www.pocm.info/
Pagan Origins of the Christ Myth
(another great site showing that the story of Jesus is a retelling of more ancient stories)

http://www.pharmacratic-inquisition.com/Pharmacratic-Inquisition_Sales_Page.html
Pharmacratic Inquisition
(website by two guys that have studied much of this, although I don't consider their studies to be 100% correct, they offer interesting ideas and they have an interesting video, watch their DVD online for free)

u/Mithryn · 2 pointsr/atheism

Books on the subject:

In the slums of India, homeschooled education outdoes the private education
The Beautiful Tree
(http://www.amazon.com/Beautiful-Tree-Personal-Educating-Themselves/dp/1933995920)

Literacy rates went down since public education was introduced and much much more (written by an award winning teacher who left the system)
Weapons of Mass Instruction
http://www.amazon.com/Weapons-Mass-Instruction-Schoolteachers-Compulsory/dp/0865716315

http://www.sonorannews.com/archives/2010/100707/commnews_homeschool.html

Here is the difference we see in our homeschool:

Class size: Most teachers I've talked to say the ideal class size is about 6 kids. That's the maximum we allow in our homeschool (mini-school, as we take in neighbor kids at times). With 6 kids, they all get independent attention.

Curriculum: Instead of a massive one-size fits all, we can tailor the message to each student. One kid loves dance, so she gets math problems related to dancing. Another loves car engines, so they get car engine math. Both care about math.

The big one everyone will bring up: Socialization
I know this may be hard to believe, but we don't lock our students in the basement and teach them about jezzus all day and the evils of evolution. We do co-ops with many other families in the area. Other home schooled kids are used to being treated like adults and making decisions. The result, my kids have never yet had their heads flushed in a toilet. They don't struggle with making friends, and they look at bullies as bizarre and rare things that they can walk away from.

How socialized are the kids in school really? They only interact with kids in their grade (home school kids often learn along side teenagers and little kids and see that everyone has valid opinions. My kids don't discriminate based on age with who they play with in the neighborhood, making them popular).

Time benefits: We don't have to wait in lines, fold our arms and put our heads on our desks while each child brings their test up to the front. The result is that we can teach in 4 hours what regular school does in 8.

Field trips: Public schools can only afford about one or two a year. We do one or two a month. Including private interviews with restaurant owners, ballet dancers, and leads in plays. The Zoo specially arranged so my daughter could see the cougars fed (she loves cougars).

Hall-Pass: My kids can make up their own minds when they go potty, and no one stops them. The concept that an adult would remove your right to a basic biological function is just bizarre to them.

The only real problem with private schooling is a parent needs to stay home and want to teach, but as long as you have that, there is no reason in the world that kids couldn't learn way more with a little support than in a false, forced environment where conformity and factory-like working conditions are the norm.

I understand not everyone has the luxury to do this and that makes me sad, but the idea that public school is superior than a caring, attentive adult and a small class size is bizarre to me.

u/UnicornToots · 2 pointsr/beyondthebump

Wonder Weeks - it's a book and it has a nice smartphone app to go along with it. It's amazing how accurate it is when it comes to anticipating developmental "leaps", explaining why babies are acting like they do at certain ages, and clearly explains how to do appropriate play/games/interaction with them to help them through the "leaps".

Edit: Also, a lot of people only use the app, but I highly recommend getting the book. It gets into much more detail and is incredibly useful!

u/optimaloutcome · 2 pointsr/Parenting

First: Congrats!

Sounds good that you guys are already sitting down and talking things through. Fact of the matter is that you'll never be 100% prepared to have a kid, nor will you be prepared for what your kid does tomorrow. They change so fast and it's all new to you. Your instincts to nurture and love should get you a long way, and stay smart/ahead of things when it comes to daycares, school registration, supporting your kid, etc.

When I found out my wife was pregnant I was the same age as yourself. I found that reading books written for "dad" weren't for me because they were too cliched in their approach. I purchased, and read, this book: Caring for your young child birth - age 5 by the APA. Also get yourself a copy of Baby 411. That book talked us off the ledge and kept us out of the ER a number of times.

The other thing I did to prepare was to get consumer reports to research cribs, car seats, etc, etc, etc. That helped me quite a bit to narrow down the field, and then I cross referenced reviews and pricing on Amazon and my local baby stores.

New dad pro tip: Build the crib inside the baby's intended room. Assembled, it probably won't fit through the door so if you build it outside the room, get ready to rebuild it inside anyway :)

Also, take care of your lady. She's going to go through some serious shit for the next 9-10 months. Support her, be there for her, care for her.

u/phoresy · 2 pointsr/Drugs

That makes a lot of sense. There is a writer that contends that Jesus was actually a Psilocybin mushroom. His name escapes me at the moment however he wrote a serious historical account of this. Also Terence McKenna has mentioned more than once that the sacrament in the Roman Catholic tradition is actually fake and the the mushroom was/is the real sacrament.

Edit: it might be this book

u/Mcnugget84 · 2 pointsr/Septemberbumpers2017

My co-workers gave me this book. I will be getting a copy for my MIL as a lot of things kids wise has changed since her other grandchildren were babies.

u/igarett · 2 pointsr/exmormon

Grab a new or used version of the book "No More Goodbyes" by Carol Lyn Pearson. Read it before you come out to the family (it's a quick read) and then handed off to your parents to chew on. When I told my parents about my better half (they already knew I was gay), I handed this book to my mom and told her she wasn't invited to meet him until she read the book. In my experience, it isn't threatening for TBMs to read this book because it is written by a very well know Mormon women who made her reputation with Relief Society women in the 80's with LDS poetry. She also penned the primary song "I'll Walk With You" which was secretly about her experience with ostracized members of the LGBT community like her ex-husband.

Edit: forgot to mention that you can also buy digital copies of this book and send then to their e-readers. My mom read a physical copy but I noticed that she would hide the cover because it had the word "gay" on it. I realized that E-readers are more low key and sent it to my dad and grandparents in that format.

u/kgazette · 2 pointsr/weddingplanning

Hi there! We are also doing a Disney World honeymoon (I read your edit that it's Disney World in Florida, not Land in California, and realized I might actually be helpful!). It will be our first time to Disney World, as well. I've used mostly http://yourfirstvisit.net/ to plan for us. It's targeted toward a family of four going, but I found enough useful tips (including money-saving tips!) for a couple. There are also books that have tips about doing a honeymoon specifically - my sister gave me a copy of this guide: http://www.amazon.com/Unofficial-Guide-Walt-Disney-World/dp/1628090006

Both things cover the whole process of booking from head to toe, so definitely check out at least Your First Visit, since it's a completely free website :)

As far as packages, we did book a resort package (Magic Your Way package) which includes tickets that get you into each park (except the water park, I believe?), but only into one park per day. (So if you start your day in Epcot, for example, Epcot is the only park you can get into for the rest of the day, but the next day you can go to Magic Kingdom, then Hollywood Studios another day, etc.).

I think $2200 is doable, but it definitely depends on how many days you want to go for and how fancy of a hotel/resort room you want. I think the info on the website I linked will help you determine that (it did for us! We decided to splurge on the Pirate-themed rooms at the Caribbean Beach resort, and to stay for 9 days, but to save money by going at a cheap time of year rather than right after our wedding).

Hope this is helpful to you, and HAVE FUN!

u/kinderdoc · 2 pointsr/Parenting

The No-Cry Sleep Solution, So That's What They're For-breastfeeding basics, baby 411.
As a pediatrician, lactation consultant and mother, please avoid:
Babywise it has been condemned by the American Academy of Pediatrics and La Leche League for its bizarre recommendation that newborns be put on a feeding and sleeping schedule that is pretty much designed to lead to breastfeeding failure, attachment issues, and failure to thrive. The reviews on amazon tell quite a story--some of the 1 star are former 5 star submitters who realized that their baby wasn't "good" or "obedient" or "quiet", they were starving like little Romanian orphans and had given up making noise because they were just ignored. If I could put every copy in an incenerator I would.
The Vaccine Book, a wildly misleading tome full of misinformation and fearmongering. For accurate vaccine information, please read Dr. Paul Offit's Vaccines and your child. He is a vaccinologist, meaning that he has devoted his entire professional career to studying vaccines. Dr. "Bob" is a general pediatrician, like me, and has no additional training in immunology, virology, microbiology, or vaccines.

u/twiceblessedman · 2 pointsr/philosophy

I can tell you how I think we get there, but I don't think we can know exactly what it'll look like.

I think we need to listen to more educators like this man (excuse the hokeyness of the video, it really is quite interesting and informative, and I suggest watching at 1.5x speed) who says we need a drastic overhaul of the education system in America, because we're being dumbed down.

Everyone alive today was born in the era of propaganda, so frankly we're already corrupted. We need to take that into account when we look at psychological studies -- everyone we test has been exposed to our society since birth, so their behaviors aren't necessarily indicative of humans by default.

In the video I linked above, Gatto says that the first requirement of elite private schools is to make certain that kids have a firm understanding of human nature before graduating. I think that this is necessary to teach all humans -- we have to know how we work! If certain people have a much better grasp on how humans work than others, they have enormous advantages. We need to even the playing field and give everyone the knowledge they need to protect their minds.

I also think we need to remove intellectual property law entirely. Humans deserve the knowledge collected by our predecessors. Information is power, and people are hoarding it for themselves when it could be used to better humanity.

u/asterysk · 2 pointsr/hapas

Raising Mixed Race: Multiracial Asian Children in a Post-Racial World (New Critical Viewpoints on Society) https://www.amazon.com/dp/1138999466/ref=cm_sw_r_other_awd_xqp-wbGP6GQAV

u/Burn-Baby-Burn · 2 pointsr/Parenting

This book has helped me immensely for a number of years with my 'spirited' daughter.

Raising your Spirited Child

u/oatmeal_pie · 2 pointsr/beyondthebump

Baby Center has descriptions of baby games by week of development, and you can sign up to have them emailed to you each week. Wonder Weeks also has a variety of ways to interact and engage with your baby during each of the growth spurts. I rented the ebook for free through my local library using the Overdrive app. You can also take her to a mommy & me yoga class or any other mom & baby meetup to talk with other moms, give baby a chance to see other babies, and get more ideas of things to do together.

Music also helps. When I'm bored with baby games and just staring at her, I'll turn on Spotify. It usually inspires me to sing and dance with/at her.

That being said, everything is brand-new and amazing to your baby. She's only been on the planet for 3 months, so she's never seen a washing machine, a spoon, a tree, a dog, or a tax form before. I would just strap baby into an Ergo carrier and take her with me as I checked the mail, grocery shopped, walked around the neighborhood, tidied the house, etc. Or I'd plop her in a bouncer while I did laundry, washed dishes, did my hair, etc. If she got fussy or needed something I'd attend to her, but otherwise she was happy to watch me go about my business. Bonus points if you narrate to her.

Your local kid resale store or pop-up consignment sale (ours are called Kid 2 Kid and Rhea Lana) will have several jumparoos, and I bet several of them will be multi-colored. It's something that's only been used for a couple of months and my baby will only use for a couple of months, so why buy not buy used? It's better for the wallet and the planet.

u/OptimisticCapybara · 2 pointsr/June2019Bumpers

My favorite for infants was Happiest Baby on the Block: Happiest Baby on the Block

My favorite for toddler is "Raising Your Spirited Child": Raising Your Spirited Child

My favorite for breastfeeding was "The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding": Womanly Art of Breastfeeding

My favorite for pumping at work was "Work, Pump, Repeat": Work, Pump, Repeat

​

u/Cantholditdown · 2 pointsr/foraging

Here are the 2 guides I am using to research foraging. The plant guide is pretty good. I give it a 8/10. It just needs a few more pictures because it doesn't show all stages of growth. The mushroom guide is pretty incredible! 9/10. It has a subsection specifically for edible mushrooms and specifies poisonous look alikes side by side. I use these in conjunction with youtube to research foraging. The mushroom guide is very pocket sized. The plant guide is larger and would require a small backpack to comfortably hike with it, but it isn't by any means bulky. It is like 6x8 with 120 pages or so.

Jusy FYI, I am mostly and armchair forager so far. I have foraged for wineberries and raspberries in NJ but that is about it. PM me the area you live in. Might be able to explore with you.

Plant foraging
https://www.amazon.com/Northeast-Foraging-Flavorful-Wineberries-Regional/dp/1604694173/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1491754003&sr=8-1&keywords=northeast+foraging

Mushrooms
https://www.amazon.com/Mushrooms-Northeast-Simple-Common-Mushroom/dp/1591935911/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1491754115&sr=8-2&keywords=mushroom+guide+northeast

u/instalight · 2 pointsr/BabyBumps

My mum got me Brain Rules for Baby for Christmas, and so far I'm finding it interesting. It's less of a 'how to' sort of book and more looks at the psychology of babies and children and how they process things.

Like another commenter I also have What to Expect the First Year' and it's kind of dry, but I think it might be useful for some specific issues.

u/Muttly2001 · 2 pointsr/Random_Acts_Of_Amazon

Pandora's Mystery Summer Box of Goodies.

What makes me tick: my 2.5 year old daughter, video games, reddit, the National Stuttering Association.

Best part of my week is when my daughter and I go out to a restaurant and have out daddy/daughter date night.

Book for my daughter and I

u/throw_it_away_alex · 2 pointsr/Parenting

He sounds so much like me at his age! I've dubbed the problem of unschoolable creative kids "Artist's Syndrome." I'm not sure what you can do for him short of homeschooling, but you might want to check out the John Taylor Gatto books on schooling bright kids when you have a chance (Dumbing Us Down is a great one). You might also look into some alternative online schools as well (K12, etc), because it sounds like he is miserably depressed in the one he is in. Par for the course with Artist's Syndrome.

Kudos to you for handling all this at 19!

u/AnneeDroid · 2 pointsr/mushroom_hunting

I am moving to Mass in a few weeks and eager to go mushroom hunting!

I got this field guide on Amazon (along with a few others) but I liked it the most: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1591935911/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o01_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

It's got tons of pictures. My favorite thing is that it starts with listing 'Top Edibles' and 'Top Toxics'. Also, it lists common lookalikes for all the mushrooms and tips for telling them apart.

Only eat the ones you're super confident in identifying, but the field guide is a fun guess + check when you're still learning

DM if you'd want a novice mushroom hunting buddy. I'll be in the south shore area

u/tigrrbaby · 1 pointr/suggestmeabook

My top parenting book, All Joy and No Fun ( https://www.amazon.com/All-Joy-No-Fun-Parenthood/dp/0062072226 ) doesnt give any actual advice, but shares anecdotes and research that give you a better understanding for what is "normal" among middle class American parents, comforts you that your experience is standard, and establishes a basis for making parenting decisions (what you actually want out of life, for you and your kid).

It doesn't give the answers directly to your question, but it lays a baseline for you to figure out where you want to end up at the end of having raised a kid so you can decide how to get there.

it is likely to have the added benefit of strengthening your understanding of your wife and what parenting is like for her.

>Thousands of books have examined the effects of parents on their children. In All Joy and No Fun, award-winning journalist Jennifer Senior now asks: what are the effects of children on their parents?

>In All Joy and No Fun, award-winning journalist Jennifer Senior tries to tackle this question, isolating and analyzing the many ways in which children reshape their parents' lives, whether it's their marriages, their jobs, their habits, their hobbies, their friendships, or their internal senses of self. She argues that changes in the last half century have radically altered the roles of today's mothers and fathers, making their mandates at once more complex and far less clear.

>Recruiting from a wide variety of sources—in history, sociology, economics, psychology, philosophy, and anthropology—she dissects both the timeless strains of parenting and the ones that are brand new, and then brings her research to life in the homes of ordinary parents around the country. The result is an unforgettable series of family portraits, starting with parents of young children and progressing to parents of teens. Through lively and accessible storytelling, Senior follows these mothers and fathers as they wrestle with some of parenthood's deepest vexations—and luxuriate in some of its finest rewards.

>Meticulously researched yet imbued with emotional intelligence, All Joy and No Fun makes us reconsider some of our culture's most basic beliefs about parenthood, all while illuminating the profound ways children deepen and add purpose to our lives. By focusing on parenthood, rather than parenting, the book is original and essential reading for mothers and fathers of today—and tomorrow.

u/MiaAlgia · 1 pointr/TwoXChromosomes

I had a crappy father, but he pressed me to work hard at math. That was good.

He was a construction worker and every time he fixed something around, he made me stand there and hands his tools to him, so I can fix just about anything around the house.

Here's a book on how to raise a smart and happy child.
https://www.amazon.com/Brain-Rules-Baby-Updated-Expanded/dp/0983263388

Now that my daughter is a toddler, the pediatrician recommended this book
https://www.amazon.com/1-2-3-Magic-Discipline-Effective-Parenting/dp/149262988X

Don't let her watch Disney princess movies if you can help it, except Brave is probably good http://national.deseretnews.com/article/20551/disney-princess-culture-may-not-be-great-for-the-future-of-little-girls.html

I play the Winnie the Pooh educational videos for her, so that's what she likes: 123's, Shapes and Sizes, ABC's.

In order to deal with talking to her about sex, which you may need to do as early as age six, read this book https://www.amazon.com/Girls-Sex-Navigating-Complicated-Landscape-ebook/dp/B0111YAT0Y

I am so deeply disturbed by what girls have to deal with now days. It's so much worse than when I was a teen. Worrying about my daughters keeps me up at night.

u/Grant_18 · 1 pointr/Parenting

It's aimed directly at dads but I'm sure mums would enjoy it too.
Commando Dad: How to be an elite dad or carer.
Takes you through from birth to 3 years, apparently Prince William used it according to Amazon. I found it a fun read, if you're into SAS style books and that sort of army lingo.There have been loads of offshoots too
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Commando-Dad-Elite-Carer-Birth/dp/1849532613

u/apullin · 1 pointr/Unexpected

You probably can solve some of your problems "with a spear", so to speak. Watch this TED talk and then buy the book the guy is talking about, 50 Dangerous Things (You Should Let Your Children Do).

One of the thing that he lists is: throwing a spear. Spears existed all over the world in separate cultures, and date back to the very beginnings of human existence. He makes that point that there is a very primal structure in our brains that involves the aptitude and ability to throw a spear.

So, going out and playing with a spear, throwing one, and accessing that part of your brain that had 50,000 years of design influence to be useful for spear-throwing could net your a real benefit.

u/Not_Pictured · 1 pointr/askscience

If you are interested in having children yourself, or already have children I have read a wonderful book combining the nature/nurture debate and parenting. "Selfish Reasons to Have More Kids." http://www.amazon.com/Selfish-Reasons-Have-More-Kids/dp/046501867X

It uses nothing but repeatable scientific studies to deliver the facts, and then draws some pretty unprecedented conclusions. Very educational.

u/chinese___throwaway3 · 1 pointr/hapas

Hey, I would say that there are a lot of folks here who are just letting out anger. But there are a lot more resources today for raising biracial kids. Check out the book Raising Mixed Race

u/datahoho · 1 pointr/mycology

I recently bought Mushrooms of the Northeast: A Simple Guide to Common Mushrooms (Mushroom Guides)
Marrone, Teresa
and not happy about it

I think next time i'll buy Boletes of Eastern North America i hope it"s less generic. (it's the shame there is no preview of couple pages)

u/caffeine314 · 1 pointr/baby

Wow -- what a great response. Thanks for sharing!

The book you mentioned -- I see two. Which one would you recommend? Both?

http://www.amazon.com/Wonder-Weeks-Stimulate-Development-Predictable/dp/9491882007

http://www.amazon.com/stimulate-development-predictable-magical-forward/dp/9079208019

Thanks!!

u/DWShimoda · 1 pointr/MGTOW

> Yeah, like the only legit education is formal education.

This is what people seriously believe... even though the OPPOSITE is in fact true.

To wit:

  • IT'S OFFICIAL: College Students Learn Next To Nothing

  • Many Students Learn Little to Nothing in College. Surprise?


    And many other articles/studies besides -- not to mention various "anecdotal" verification (I've always been able to easily identify people who were "trained/certified" in mundane things like "How to use MS Office" -- versus those who are "self-taught" {self-motivated to learn from the manual, plus puttering around, etc} -- those who are "trained" are invariably almost entirely IN-competent {barely able to perform the most basic tasks}, whereas the self-taught tend to be anywhere from competent to SUPER-competent; and the same applies with a host of other things as well).

    ---
    >Check out this book if you already haven't:

    >https://www.amazon.com/Dumbing-Down-Curriculum-Compulsory-Schooling/dp/0865718547

    Can't recall if I've specifically read that one, but in general I am well aware of (and have read several/most of) Gatto's works*... and frankly, that book (and others like them) -- deep-dive though they seem to be -- actually BARELY scratch the surface of the REAL problems: the entire concept of "schooling" is broken/fallacious at nearly EVERY level (beyond the "plan/conspiracy" aspect that Gatto focuses on).

    -
    * Also books by John Holt -- including "How Children Learn" and "How Children Fail"; and probably I would most highly recommend one of his LAST books (published posthumously) entitled "Learning All The Time"

    ---
    >Some of it might be insecurity. They want their kids to be dependent on them. That might one reason why there are so many 30 somethings still living at home.

    Dependent... or CO-dependent; and yes that does indeed seem to be one VERY likely motive (increasingly so as people have fewer & fewer kids).

    And -- even ignoring the near-pervasive frequency of narcissism and alcoholic (or child of alcoholic) codependency issues -- it stands to reason that a parent who has only one or two children WILL almost certainly have a higher degree of (unconscious/subconscious) motivation to "cling" to (and even undermine/disable) one or both of them so as to keep them around**, even more so as people's statistical likelihood of living to extreme old age increases; whereas the parents of prior generations (with a half-dozen or even a dozen or more kids), could almost take it for granted that one or more of them just naturally WOULD still be around/near and willing/able to help them.

    -
    ** The "worry/concern" that is oft-repeated here in /r/MGTOW -- i.e. the "Aren't you afraid of dying alone???" line -- is IMHO full-evidence/proof by itself that people are HIGHLY likely to do this to their kids.

    ---
    >Seems to be a widespread phenomenon!

    Again, indeed. And increasingly MORE pervasive as "woman power" (state power acting on behalf of women) grows; IME nearly all "married guys" are at least partially "cucked" in this regard (even if & when they are not actually "technically" being "cucked/cuckolded").

    -
    Very -- and increasingly MORE -- RARE is the man who "puts his foot down" and ACTUALLY "sets the rules" in his own home, regarding his own children. (And one of the reasons why I am NOT bothered about NOT having biological children -- 'cause there is no way that *I* would endure/allow myself to be turned into a doormat in that fashion -- I'd go down "fighting" to prevent it {which of course is ultimately pointless relative to the fate of the kids: doesn't do them a damned bit of good if you're dead, in jail, or forced to be absent from their home/unable to properly raise/guide them}.)

    ---
    >Yep. That is another widespread phenomenon. Those who actually "do" the work are not worthy of respect, at least not as much as those who are "in charge" while doing nothing productive. There is also the "nerd" lable that is applied to talented techies and engineers. They are considered lower status than sales and management types (not that I am implying that salespeople and managers types are all bad people, they are considered higher status by default).

    Exactly... our society/civilization has become "perverse" in many many ways; sexual perversity is in fact sort of the LAST aspect of "perversity" to become manifest.
u/drago8452 · 1 pointr/MGTOW

> "everything" is best learned in "schools."

Yeah, like the only legit education is formal education.

> Underlying it all a pervasive notion that only "professional TEACHERS" should be teaching kids things (gov't schools, tech schools, college, company sponsored 'training' courses, etc).

True.

Check out this book if you already haven't:

https://www.amazon.com/Dumbing-Down-Curriculum-Compulsory-Schooling/dp/0865718547

> Yet they -- inexplicably (other than the above nonsense; and as I noted usually "mumbled" in an only semi-coherent manner, said as if they themselves don't really believe any of it) -- refused, or otherwise failed, to pass on that instruction to their own kids: I've known guys who work as mechanics who never even taught their own sons how to even CHECK fluids on a vehicle, much less CHANGE oil or do any other repair work (brakes, whatever). And absolutely ZERO instruction in anything else with "tools" etc.

Some of it might be insecurity. They want their kids to be dependent on them. That might one reason why there are so many 30 somethings still living at home.

> You have to seriously wonder how much the "wife/mom" (cue "suburban soccer mom" type meme) rules in those kinds of households/families ... just how completely emasculated, belittled, henpecked & controlled are these guys?

Seems to be a widespread phenomenon!

> like that the wife {despite probably NOT having actually obtained a college degree -- even a worthless one -- herself} nevertheless feels she married down; that she HATES the fact that hubby ever worked/works "blue collar"... and nevermind that said job/career pays for her home, clothes, food, vacations, etc etc etc {in fact that probably plays into it: resentment overriding/replacing gratitude or even appreciation/respect}.)

Yep. That is another widespread phenomenon. Those who actually "do" the work are not worthy of respect, at least not as much as those who are "in charge" while doing nothing productive. There is also the "nerd" lable that is applied to talented techies and engineers. They are considered lower status than sales and management types (not that I am implying that salespeople and managers types are all bad people, they are considered higher status by default).

u/CooCooCoco · 1 pointr/beyondthebump

Baby 411 Basically every time I call the nurse at the pediatrician's office they give me the same exact advice so I just use it unless symptoms get worse.

u/curiouslywanting · 1 pointr/InfertilityBabies

My friend gave me this great book before I had my first:
The Baby Owners Manual & Trouble Shooting
It's a funny, well designed book that is straightforward with all of the basics covered.

The other book that I would recommend is Baby 411
It's a really great book for reference when you are worried about everything - behavior, feeding, sickness, sleeping, etc...

u/SammyD1st · 1 pointr/Natalism

This is one of my favorites:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B004OA64Q6

And here's a 50 minute documentary:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lZeyYIsGdAA

u/kitchendisco · 1 pointr/InfertilityBabies

My husband loved this. It's well written by an ex soldier now stay at home Dad.

It's funny but not patronising.

Clearly written & gave him so great advice about what to expect & how to support me after birth, through breastfeeding etc

Commando Dad: How to be an Elite Dad or Carer. From Birth to Three Years https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1849532613/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_42vuybAPXQHW3

u/Onerealhapa · 1 pointr/hapas

Yep... I'd say you got about a 1/3 odds, depending on location, political views, empathy, cultural respect. You get those down, and there's a very high chance your kid will be fine. Fuck those up tho... and there's a risk they're going to get the answers to life's questions from somewhere else. Recommended reading: Raising Mixed Race by Sharon Chang. Get's to the heart of what you want. No "you're so progressive" fluff... just a nice distilled "what do I do with my biracial kid" book.

u/reeksofhavoc · 1 pointr/conspiracy

Also see this book The Mushroom and the Sacred Cross.

Edit: I forgot to put [funny] in the title.

u/thealienelite · 1 pointr/worldnews
u/genida · 1 pointr/politics

"At the start of WWII, millions of men showed up at the registration offices to take low-level academic tests before being inducted." - "Eighteen million were tested and 17,280,000 were judged to have the minimum competence in reading necessary to be a soldier - a 96 percent literacy rate."

"This was a two percent fall-off from the 98 percent of ten years earlier, but the dip was too small to worry anyone."

"Six years later, another war began in Korea and several million more men were tested for military service. This time, 600,000 were rejected. Literacy in the draft pool had mysteriously to 81 percent from 96 percent, even though all that was needed to classify a soldier as literate was fourth grade reading proficiency." - "The Korean War Group had recieved most of its schooling in the 1940's while the conflict with Germany and Japan was being waged. It had more years in school, with more professionally trained teachers in attendance, and more scientifically selected textbooks than the WWII men. Yet, it could not read, write, count, speak, or think as well as the earlier, less-schooled contingent."

"A new American War began in Vietnam in the middle 1960s. By its end in 1973, the number of men found non-inductible by reason of inability to read safety instructions, interpret road signs, decipher orders - the number found illiterate in other words - had reached 27 percent of the total pool."

"By 1940, literacy as a national number stood at 96 percent for whites, 80 percent for blacks. Four of five blacks were literate in spite of all disadvantages. Yet, six decades later, the Adult Literacy Survey and the National Assessment of Educational Progress reported a 40 percent illiteracy among blacks - doubling their earlier deficiency - and a 17 percent rate for whites, more than quadrupling it. Yet money spent on schooling in real terms had grown 350 percent."

From John Taylor Gatto's book Weapons of Mass Instruction.

AnarchistPrick might have been a touch inflammatory, but what he's getting at is not without merit.

u/Arguron · 1 pointr/Libertarian
u/E_T_Smith · 1 pointr/rpg

> This led them to a book called Terror In the Toybox

Do you mean Turmoil in the Toybox, by Phil Phillips? Amusingly, the daft Mr. Phillips wrote a whole series declaring the satanic evils of pop culture, including Saturday Morning MInd Control, Halloween and Satanism, Dinosaurs: The Bible, Barney & Beyond, The Truth About Power Rangers and of course Turmoil in the Toybox II.

u/anecdotal-evidence · 1 pointr/TwoXChromosomes

> I insist on getting the school side of his life right, I am not compromising there.

By the time a child is a teen, they should already know how to take responsibility for their academics. If you still need to hound him about schoolwork, that's not good. It's not your role to do that. Enlist the school, see if they have academic support classes that can teach him how to be more organized. Insist he (NOT you) talk to his guidance counselor; perhaps he's in classes that are beyond his aptitude level. If it's a lack of being challenged, his counselor can help get him into more demanding courses. Or, encourage him to look into courses of study outside of what is offered in the school. Find something that makes him excited and motivated. Learning isn't all done in a classroom.

Important here is that he takes the initiative. You can coach and nudge, but resist the urge to do it all for him. If he's only a few short years from going to college, he's going to need to know how to do this on his own, because you won't be there. I know (based on what you wrote elsewhere) you want to be there, but you shouldn't be holding his hand in college. You shouldn't be holding his hand now!!

You need to let go, let him fall down and make his mistakes and learn from them. It's not the end of the world if he gets lousy grades in high school. It's normal to think that, but it's simply not true. He's got an entire lifetime to get his act together.

I will share that two of the most successful people I know nearly flunked out of high school. Okay, one was a solid D student. The other actually did flunk out. The D student (my sister) went to community college, got her act together, graduated a solid C student... then went on to a career in sales where she makes $300K. She excels in sales - she does not excel in classroom learning. The other person flunked out, spent a few years floundering around, decided to change her life, went back for her GED, worked part-time jobs while sending herself through college over a period of years, and now is also in sales, making $300K.

Then there's story after story of computer whizzes who don't go to college but found start-up companies.....

> What's more I need to push him to go out more and meet more of his peers and I do it, because he'd turn into a hermit (computer addicted hermit) if I let him.

What you are doing here is telling him there's something "wrong" with his personality that needs to be "fixed." Your job as his mother is to accept him as he is. It's possible he's an introvert. It's possible all these "peers" are into drugs, and he wants no part of it. You just don't know.

It's also possible that home is where he recharges his batteries, and he's completely different outside of the house. My youngest (16) is like this. When she's home, you can't get her off the computer, t.v., or her nose out of a book. She withdraws completely, and acts grumpy and hermit-like. But when she's out of the house, she is ON - an extreme extrovert, chatterbug, go-go-go!! She tells me that when she comes home, she just wants to unplug and relax...

I highly recommend this book to you:

http://www.amazon.com/Life-First-Could-Drive-Cheryl/dp/0374528535

as well as this one:

http://www.amazon.com/Primal-Teen-Discoveries-about-Teenage/dp/0385721609

One more anecdote I'll share, about my oldest, nearly 18 now. She has her first job this summer, as a camp counselor with small children (age 5 and 6). I was very concerned about this, because at home, she is irresponsible, easily distracted, daydreams a lot, and doesn't seem to like children at all. She has a half-sister and she doesn't get down on the floor and play with her. If the house was burning down around her ears, she'd never notice... etc, etc...

Guess what? The camp is reporting that she is the BEST counselor they've ever had!! That the children all adore her. That she's attentive, responsible, etc, etc.... they even gave her extended hours! Complete surprise to us....

But, not really. This is the way it is with teens. You get the bad side at home - because it's safe for them to be bad, to regress. Meanwhile, they are completely different outside of the house. They are busy making you proud. You cannot judge how your son acts at home, as how he acts outside of the home.

u/glorious_failure · 1 pointr/science

He's a bit opinionated, something I feel stems from his deep involvement in the issue. Read him and find out.

His biggest book is available online.

Alfie Kohn might be of some interest as well.

Is he though? Much of it speaks true, but clearly that's not enough. Especially on reddit, and I'm not the one to argue for all of this, I've done enough of that and no one cares.

Oh, wait, I'll throw in some Chomsky.

u/weavves · 1 pointr/predaddit

A couple of books were really helpful for my wife and I. Namely: The Wonder Weeks and The Happiest Baby on the Block. They help get into your kid's head and understand how he's growing, learning, changing. Also really helpful for encouraging and enriching his life. I still refer to the first one now and then, and Felix is a full-blown toddler.

But really? No one knows what they're doing when it comes to parenting. Books and classes and things can help, but your best teacher on how to be a dad is going to be your kid. Every child is different, and when yours arrives you will learn everything about being a parent from him or her.

Oh, and PS? You will worry about every hiccup and every cough and when your child is finally asleep you will be checking every five minutes to make sure they are still breathing. It's all part of parenthood!

u/VonGator · 1 pointr/BabyBumps

Pick up a copy of Baby 411! I just got a copy for my baby shower and it's AMAZING on what it covers. I feel like it will be a go-to for me for sure.

u/dustgirl · 1 pointr/Parenting

It sounds like you might benefit from reading Raising your spirited child . If nothing else it will give you some reassurance that your high energy kid isn’t the only kid like that. :)

u/Damaso87 · 1 pointr/LifeProTips

Here's the tip I give all my friends:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1628090006?pc_redir=1409111205&robot_redir=1


Buy. This. Book.


Seriously, it's amazing. I'm on mobile right now, but I will gladly post the reasons this book is fantastic, if there's interest. It's essentially the cheats codes for Disney rides and planning.

u/ntrontty · 1 pointr/beyondthebump

Something that might be helpful to you: I just got myself a new book that was highly recommended to me by other parents. It covers the growth spurts all kids fo through in their lives that can make their parent's life hell for some weeks.

So, apparently, there's a big developmental jump happening between week 23 and 27 of baby's life. With your LO turning 6 months, that would put her right there, right?

So baseline is, baby suddenly can do new stuff - see more, process more, understand more, which is vool, but she needs time to adjust to all of this new information.
Meaning: less sleep, more fuzzyness, needs lots of cuddling but is really hard to calm down. Apparently, from 27/28 weeks on, it should be better again. Maxbe knowing it will pass, soon will help?

Maybe you want to look into it. I believe this is the english version. https://www.amazon.ca/gp/aw/d/9491882007/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?qid=1464988755&sr=8-1&pi=SY200_QL40&keywords=van+de+rijt&dpPl=1&dpID=51xJRFfI3eL&ref=plSrch#productDescription_secondary_view_div_1464988877986

u/Zooshooter · 1 pointr/foraging

I have the Upper Midwest version of this mushroom guide. I really like it. It has top edibles, top toxics, and look-alikes for both with toxic look-alikes in the case of the edibles. There are no drawings, all reference pictures are color photos. The mushrooms are also divided by physical structure, colors, etc. Highly recommended.

u/InkslingerS · 1 pointr/predaddit

Our stack of books is about a foot high and growing, and my favorite book so far has been Brain Rules for Baby, a book with a lot of great guidance backed up not just by anecdotes but also sound science. As a counter to our instincts to be over-protective, the other book my wife and I have both really enjoyed is 50 Dangerous Things You Should Let Your Children Do.

u/zig_anon · 0 pointsr/MapPorn

There is tons of peer reviewed twin studies. I was just trying to post an easy to read summary

The current view is now (quietly among many) much more nature that influences who we are both in IQ but also temperament

In the 1980’s many though it was all nurture including gender tendencies

What is not nature (remaining 25-50%) does not seem to be clearly nurture from parents either (assuming they are not traumatizing kids). It is more random

I first came to this when I was having kids and read this book

https://www.amazon.com/Selfish-Reasons-Have-More-Kids-ebook/dp/B004OA64Q6

It’s actually somewhat liberating in a way to watch all the other helicopter parents stress out

u/musteatbrainz · 0 pointsr/AskMen

Hey man. I was (and still am - 9 weeks to go!) in a similar spot. Everyone is offering good advice, but I would recommend checking out a few books to get your brain thinking about the right things (primarily logistically but also emotionally):

We're Pregnant! The First Time Dad's Pregnancy Handbook - short/easy week-by-week dissection of the pregnancy and what you should be doing to prepare along the way.

Commando Dad: Basic Training: How to Be an Elite Dad or Carer from Birth to Three Years - another short/easy read that reads like a field manual and is actually written by a navy seal. While the first book above is more focused on pregnancy, this book is more focused on what the hell to do after pregnancy.

Eat, Sleep, Poop: A Common Sense Guide to Your Baby's First Year - Although it's written by a pediatrician, it's a very simple read and very practical. Covers less logistics and more focused on health, development, sleeping, eating, etc.

These books will help put you in control of the situation and will help you lead the charge for you and your wife.

I also definitely recommend attending every prenatal appointment with your wife (and lining up a doctor ASAP - first appt should be around Week 6), as well as whatever pregnancy/baby classes your hospital offers.

As far as gear, primary items are bassinet, crib, car seat, stroller, bouncer. But you have plenty of time to figure that stuff out. Check out Lucie's List and of course Amazon for helpful reviews. BuyBuyBaby can also be a good resource - they have in-store registry consultants who will give you an entire tour of the store and provide you with some helpful advice. Both BuyBuyBaby and Amazon have 15% off end-of-registry coupons to help you save toward the end.

Feel free to hit me up with any specific questions :)

u/FortuitousFred · -1 pointsr/todayilearned

This is the amazon page for a book written by an Economist discussing twin and adoption studies that suggest the genetic effect is much stronger than the effect of parenting style.

I don't have links to the actual studies, but you can read some little snippets from the author here, here, and here.

If you're interested in learning more, I recommend the book. I thought it was a great read. I found those links with just a few seconds googling as well, so I'm sure it wouldn't be too hard to find more.

u/testing78378 · -6 pointsr/relationships

>What people mean is that you might be able to be pressured into it anyway, and if so, of course you'll love your kids and do your best to be a good mom, even as you resent their very existence.

Speaking for myself, when I was in my teens and early 20s I couldn't imagine having kids; now that I'm a bit older, I realize that people who don't have kids merely go through life, accumulate a pile of baubles, and then die: very few of us have much long-term meaning beyond our children. As people age, I think they realize it more and more.

This isn't to argue that EVERYONE should automatically have kids, but kids are easier than many middle-class American parents believe. The book at the link is called Selfish Reasons to Have More Kids, and it might be worth reading.

As for the OP: The question is really, "Do you and/or your BF want kids in the next two years?" Since the answer is "No" ("The good thing is he wants to wait several years to even start thinking seriously about a family as we are both quite young"), keep dating him and don't worry about it. I also hate to say this, but there's a decent shot you'll break up for other reasons before the kids issue comes up.

u/vaporfunk1111 · -7 pointsr/AmItheAsshole

Not sure about their reason. Here’s mine.

Dumbing Us Down -25th Anniversary Edition: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling - 25th Anniversary Edition https://www.amazon.com/dp/0865718547/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_b8cVDbKFTKS4J

Also, the fucking Duggars forever poisoned the idea and cemented the negative connotation.

u/conantheking · -9 pointsr/energy

It's pathetic. I blame broken families and 'higher education.'

Critical thinking does exist. It is tangible, provable, teachable.

https://www.amazon.com/Deliberate-Dumbing-America-Revised-Abridged/dp/0966707117

https://www.amazon.com/Dumbing-Down-Curriculum-Compulsory-Schooling/dp/0865718547/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1500933340&sr=1-3&keywords=john+taylor+gatto

Unfortunately, the indoctrination is so complete and the academic masses are so smug and arrogant, there's no getting through to them. They wear their ignorance like a shield.

What's so funny is that they have the zeal of a medieval Catholic clergyman. Haha, the irony is too deep. These are faith based Philistines. Only their faith is in a corrupted political ideology posing as science.

u/terkistan · -15 pointsr/forwardsfromgrandma