(Part 2) Best stress management books according to redditors
We found 1,592 Reddit comments discussing the best stress management books. We ranked the 275 resulting products by number of redditors who mentioned them. Here are the products ranked 21-40. You can also go back to the previous section.
To start with Buddhism
Get a copy of the book "What The Buddha Taught" by Walpoa Rahula ( a Buddhist Monk )
It is an introductory book to Buddhist teachings.
It is written in very clear language and it is very short.
Despite being short (151 pages) it covers all of the most important teachings very well.
"What The Buddha Taught" is old enough to be in many libraries and used book venues.
You can also download a free PDF version of the book .
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For anxiety and anger have a look at these links from the wiki:
Dealing with Painful Emotions, Anxiety, Depression, or Panic Attacks
Above all else get therapy.
Also do these self care things ( what works for anxiety will also work for depression and vice-versa )
Lavender oil capsules ( approved for the treatment of anxiety in Germany)
All you have to do now is enforce set times in the day to where you're only allowed to read the list and can only do the tasks, e.g. between 6pm and 9pm every day, and you've implemented the very popular GTD system.
The main thing is to not worry about anything else when you're doing a task, and focus only on that. Getting ideas out of your head is very important in being able to focus.
10,000 hours are required for proficiency in any field of deliberate practice. They "only" reached ~3000-4000 hours of practice over 7 years. If they did a 3 year retreat with 10 hours a day like many Tibetan monks do, they would blow through that plateau - that's for sure. The Tibetan monks that have been investigated all show a much heightened gamma-wave amplitude in the brain and overall unionization of brain waves. This is accompanied by immense pliability of both body and mind and waves of bliss at all times along with compassionate wisdom arising from absorption.
B. Alan Wallace, who was leading the practice of the study participants, recommends shamatha or calm-abiding meditation which is what some call concentration meditation. It is the ability to hold your mind one-pointed on an object of your choosing for extended periods of time until stillness permeates and your mind doesn't move or flick from thought to thought, emotion to emotion or object to object.
Shamatha is described like this by him in his wonderful book which I recommend to everyone called The Attention Revolution:
>Following the realization of the ninth stage of attentional balance, after months or years of continuous, full-time practice, you are primed to achieve shamatha. The nine preceding stages entail many incremental changes, but the actual accomplishment of shamatha involves a radical tran- sition in your body and mind. You will be like a butterfly emerging from its cocoon. This shift is characterized by specific experiences that take place within a discrete, relatively brief period of time.
>According to accounts from the Indo-Tibetan tradition of Buddhism, the first sign of the achievement of shamatha is the experience of a sense of heaviness and numbness on the top of the head. This allegedly happens to anyone who experiences this transition, regardless of the specific method followed. It is said to feel as if a palm were being placed on the top of your shaved head. It’s not unpleasant or harmful, just unusual.
>
Something remarkable must be taking place in the cortical region of your brain at this point, but so far, no one has monitored the brain correlates of this shift using magnetic resonance imaging or an electroencephalograph. This physical sensation on the top of the head is symptomatic of a shift in your nervous system (or network of vital energies) that is correlated with gaining freedom from mental dysfunction (daushtulya), a general state of mental imbalance characterized by stiffness, rigidity, and unwieldiness. Consequently, you achieve a state of mental pliancy (prashrabdhi), in which your mind is fit and supple like never before.
>From a contemplative perspective, when the mind is dysfunctional, or prone to laxity and excitation, it is hard to generate enthusiasm for healing the afflictions of your mind or for devoting yourself to virtuous mental activity. Once you are free of such mental dysfunction, you can focus your mind without resistance on any meaningful object or task, and such a mind is now said to be fit, or serviceable. This is the key to achieving optimal mental performance.
>Following this sense of pressure on the top of your head, you experience the movement of vital energies moving in your body, and when they have coursed everywhere throughout your body, you feel as if you were filled with the power of this dynamic energy. You are now freed of physical dys- function, so your body feels buoyant and light like never before. Both your body and mind are now imbued with an exceptional degree of pliancy, which makes them remarkably fit for engaging in all kinds of mental training and other meaningful activities.
>When physical pliancy initially arises, the vital energies catalyze an extraordinary sense of physical bliss, which then triggers an equally excep- tional experience of mental bliss. This rush of physical and mental rapture is transient, which is a good thing, for it so captivates the attention that you can do little else except enjoy it. Gradually it subsides and you are freed from the turbulence caused by this intense joy. Your attention settles down in perfect stability and vividness. You have now achieved shamatha.
>Padmasambhava described this state as follows:
>"Flawless shamatha is like an oil-lamp that is unmoved by the air. Wherever the awareness is placed, it is unwaveringly present; awareness is vividly clear, without being sullied by laxity, lethargy, or dimness; wherever the awareness is directed, it is steady and sharply pointed; and unmoved by adventitious thoughts, it is straight. Thus, a flawless meditative state arises in your mindstream; and until this happens, it is important that you settle the mind in its natural state. Without genuine shamatha arising in your mindstream, even if awareness is pointed out, it becomes nothing more than an object of intellectual under- standing. So you are left simply giving lip-service to the view, and there is the danger that you may succumb to dogmatism.
>Thus, the root of all meditative states depends upon this, so do not be introduced to pristine awareness too soon, but practice until you have a fine experience of stability."
>The initial achievement of shamatha is described as preliminary or as access to the full realization of the first meditative stabilization (dhyana). The Buddha declared that with the achievement of the first meditative stabilization, one is for the first time temporarily freed from five types of obstructions (avarana), or hindrances (nivarana), that disrupt the balance of the mind.96 These are (1) sensual craving, (2) malice, (3) lethargy and drowsiness, (4) excitation and anxiety, and (5) uncertainty. Buddhaghosa commented that as soon as the counterpart sign arises, the hindrances are quite suppressed, the defilements subside, and the mind becomes concentrated in access concentration.
>When you first gain the mental and physical pliancy associated with the freedom from these hindrances, you experience a rush of bliss that appears to be a symptom of achieving an unprecedented level of mental health. The Buddha was presumably referring to this bliss as a sufficing condition, or immediate catalyst, for the achievement of samadhi. Here is one of his more detailed accounts of this experience:
>Separated from pleasures of sense, separated from unwholesome states of mind, one attains to and abides in the first stabilization, which is accompanied by coarse examination and precise inves- tigation, born of seclusion, and is joyful and blissful. And one drenches, fills, completely fills and pervades one’s body with joy and bliss, born of seclusion so that there is nowhere in one’s body that is not pervaded by it.
>With the realization of access to the first stabilization, five mental fac- tors associated with that level of samadhi arise, which directly counteract the five hindrances.
>~~~
>A significant difference between access to the first stabilization and the actual state of that stabilization is that in the former, you gain only a tenuous freedom from the five hindrances, whereas in the latter, your immunity to them is stronger. There is a similar difference in the stability of the five fac- tors of stabilization. There is a corresponding difference in the length of time you can remain immersed in such sublime states of focused attention.
>With access to the first stabilization, you can effortlessly remain in samadhi for at least four hours at a stretch, without the slightest perturbation from either subtle laxity or excitation. But once you have achieved the actual state of the first stabilization, samadhi can be sustained, according to Buddhaghosa, “for a whole night and a whole day, just as a healthy man, after rising from his seat, could stand a whole day.”
Me too. It saddens me that at 40 years old, I have finally confronted the truth about my ADHD. My whole adult life, I knew I was smart, but I also thought I was stupid, lazy, inherently flawed. I thought I would never be understood, or normal. I envy 'normal' people and I have prayed, and wished I could be like them. I am beginning to accept who I am, and that I can get better. I suggest reading "You Mean I'm Not Stupid, Lazy or Crazy?". Every page has something that has happened in my life.
As an exercise to train the mind, it is useful and scientifically backed.
http://www.amazon.com/Relaxation-Response-M-D-Herbert-Benson/dp/0380815958/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1280405037&sr=8-1
Yep.
> Perhaps it's symptomatic of ADHD, which I had been previously diagnosed with?
ADHD can absolutely be a factor in chronic disorganization! Here's some resources that might help you:
The book You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid, or Crazy?! by Kate Kelly, et. al.. comes highly recommended from the ADHD world. It's written by adults with ADHD for adults with ADHD to help you understand better your specific challenges and how to overcome them--not just with house cleaning, but with organizing other areas of your life (you can get the audio version at this link if you prefer.)
There's also a ton of videos on YouTube about dealing with housecleaning when you have ADHD. I suggest viewing a few of those to see what can help you.
Finally, don't forget about /r/ADHD. They've discussed housecleaning in the past:
Congratulations! That's wonderful!
> adrenals, cortisol, blood sugar, and hormones connected to libido
These test results may be the key. The common element for all of them is probably chronic stress. The level of stress doesn't have to be all that high, but if it never goes away, your adrenal glands keep pushing out the adrenaline, noradrenaline, and cortisol, and they will increase your blood sugar levels and reduce your testosterone and oxytocin production, which reduces your libido, makes sex less fun, and makes it harder to connect emotionally with your husband when you're touching each other.
High chronic levels of cortisol also impair your immune system, cause long-term neurological damage, and are particularly bad for your long-term health, so this is worth tackling for more reasons than just restoring your libido. (Although that's reason enough! :)
Unless you have a glandular problem, like a hyperactive pituitary or something wrong with the adrenals themselves, the best results usually come from learning to manage your stress levels better. This includes things like making lifestyle changes to get more sleep and exercise and time outdoors, rearranging your normal routine to exclude predictably stressful encounters, and practicing effective stress management techniques like regular meditation, which has proven to be quite effective at lowering cortisol levels in the blood.
I went through a major libido crash and DB episode many years ago and my SO and I managed to get through it by working on stress and changing the way we had sex. In particular, I definitely recommend becoming a faithful meditator. It takes a little bit of discipline at first, but all it takes is 10-20 minutes and it very quickly becomes part of your daily routine.
Two articles that may help you figure out what is best for you:
And two books:
I hope these help, and that you have many more great experiences like this one!
A lot of people would probably recommend mindfulness/vipassana meditation, CBD therapy or some similar approach to just accepting the shit hand you've been dealt. Personally those techniques tend to fail miserably with this situation in practice. My personal beliefs are a little kooky and based somewhat on chakras, prana, and kundalini, and the Chinese ideas of qi and meridians. Also, medical science to some extent. Combining these disparate paradigms I have come to the conclusion that you can't use your mind to heal your mind. Let your body do the healing, and your mind can relax and watch. Depression is as much a disorder of your body (and I don't mean just brain) as your mind (and brain).
The first step is to learn to both relax your body and focus your mind. Here's how, from The Relaxation Response, a classic on the physiology of tranquility:
>1.
Sit quietly in a comfortable position.
>2.
Close your eyes.
>3.
Deeply relax all your muscles,
beginning at your feet and progressing up to your face.
Keep them relaxed.
>4.
Breathe through your nose.
Become aware of your breathing.
As you breathe out, say the word, "one"*,
silently to yourself. For example,
breathe in ... out, "one",- in .. out, "one", etc.
Breathe easily and naturally.
>5.
Continue for 5 to 15 minutes.
When you finish, sit quietly for several minutes,
at first with your eyes closed and later with your eyes opened.
Do not stand up for a few minutes.
>6.
Do not worry about whether you are successful
in achieving a deep level of relaxation.
Maintain a passive attitude and permit relaxation to occur at its own pace.
When distracting thoughts occur,
try to ignore them by not dwelling upon them
and return to repeating "one."
>With practice, the response should come with little effort.
Practice the technique once or twice daily.
I'd say even five minutes is enough to help. In case you missed it, there is one key step: relax. I really hope this helps you, if you have any questions feel free to hit me up here or via pm.
>Why did they decide to stick around until someone else practically dragged them out?
It's actually a common reaction in emergency situations.
Argh, I can't find an online citation right now. I read about it in The Unthinkable: Who Survives When Disaster Strikes - and Why by Amanda Ripley
>Please be as practical as possible as I am willing to give my very best this time. I just don't know how.
Highly recommended
Note: Medication and supplementation takes about 4-6 week to kick in
*Herbal agents such as St. John's wort can cause problems in combination with other medicines. It is therefore important to pay attention to possible interactions when taking several medications.
Reading List Recommendations
Coming from around 10 years experience witth depression and social anxieties. I have read about 100 books, many of them revolving around psychological and physiological health issues.
> I think depression caused by a real malfunction in the brain is much rarer than most people believe.
I didn't believe it neither... until my doctor showed me brain scans of a healthy brain and a depressive brain. The difference is notable. Depression is caused and cause atrophy in certain brain zones. It's a vicious cycle.
You might be interested in reading The Instinct to Heal by David Servan-Screiber. It deals with ways that the body and emotional brain naturally (the instinct part) uses to overcome depression. No drugs involved. The author is prominent psychiatrist and neuroscientist, so everything is fairly scientific.
I keep mentioning this planner but honestly it's good. You could start making a daily checklist and keeping track of what you manage to do that day; set a bed time, a getting up time, and have something to get up for: maybe a shower or a cup of tea. Something you can look forward to. Then, when you've got that down, add a bit more, like maybe going for a walk. Going outside proper helps.
Getting into meditation was the game changer for me. Especially training wise. This book is awesome. No muumuu-jumbo spiritual bs just pure physiological benefits.
https://www.amazon.com/Relaxation-Response-Herbert-Benson/dp/0380006766
First of all - the courage and resilience your daughter had to face in the fear of rejection and discrimination to be open and comfortable who she really is. *Touches my heart*
I have worked with both transmasculine/feminine youth (under 21) for years and found this book to be very helpful for both the youth and the parents in psychoeducation and opening a dialogue with questions that may arise: https://www.amazon.com/Queer-Transgender-Resilience-Workbook-Orientation/dp/1626259461/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=lgbtq+trans+resilience&qid=1571163905&s=books&sr=1-1
Love wins. And the world needs more moms like you...
It's an actual book, too! https://www.amazon.com/Little-Book-Calm-Paul-Wilson/dp/0140285261
Amazon UK. For £8.18, I think I'll buy this :)
I've just finished a five week meditation course and it did for me for what I couldn't have done alone: Make me sit and focus (intentionally) for minutes (even more than an hour) in a room full of people who were trying the same thing that I was.
I've also been reading a great book called The Attention Revolution (A bad title for technically-angled book)
For the first time in my life, I can actually harness my own mind and bring my focus to a point.
The idea that meditation solves the ADHD problem is really a no-brainer: By using the practice of focusing one's attention upon an object of desire, you can collect your projected, scanning, sweeping attention and put it to good use.
Any of you who are attention deficient should really consider the meditation route. It's been one of the biggest, most beneficial changes in my life.
I'm off the sit and do nothing. Cheers, Reddit.
Come on, this is just another advertisement for your website.
I've seen several links to that site and all the content is utterly generic "worry less" "meditate more" "try to remove stress" - I haven't seen any real unique content. If you're aiming for content building or blogging on the topic, you're missing the mark. It appears as though you're repackaging and reselling pleasantries (Total Value = $1,103 All Yours for Only $47) in place of actual peer reviewed medical advice.
I recommend anyone dealing with anxiety to visit their local library and check out The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook.
Looks like depression indeed. Go see a doctor.
Causes of the depression itself can be various. By talking more in details of your situation with your doc, he might find those causes.
I was going through something similar years ago. I read David Servan-Schreiber's book about curing depression without drugs. Helped alot. Try to get a hold of it. It's called The Instinct to Heal.
The snatch, in particular the viking warrior protocol, really hits your nervous system hard. The explosive, complex movement requires a strong burst of nerve activity to activate all those muscles.
This ties into mood via polyvagal theory. In particular, vagal tone. Yoga helps people relax by using breathing patterns and movements to improve vagal tone and thus emotional regulation ability. Snatch is kind of the opposite. Possibly some yoga-ish cool downs could help, certainly after a lot of snatches it is important to do something to help calm down. I've found Trauma Release Exercises to be helpful for that.
Look up The Revolutionary Trauma Release Process & Shake it Off Naturally by David Berceli. He gives you the background and a bunch of exercises to do that exact thing. There is a lot of information about the questions you are asking as well.
As for the exercises, I've only tried a bit of it and experienced a couple minutes of what you described and never went back even though it was a positive experience. Your post has inspired me because that sounds amazing!!!
https://ilovedbt.com/dbt-handouts-worksheets/
this site has so many useful worksheets.
https://www.freeprintablemedicalforms.com/preview/DBT_Diary
the dairy card has been super useful for me.
eventually i bought this planner diary thing. it has been very useful for me.
https://www.amazon.com/Dialectical-Behavior-Therapy-Wellness-Planner/dp/1936268868
if you cant buy something like that, either printing out diary cards are using them in something like GoogleDocs , also works too!
Hope it helps.
I really like this planner
The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Wellness Planner: 365 Days of Healthy Living for Your Body, Mind, and Spirit (The Borderline Personality Disorder Wellness Series) https://www.amazon.com/dp/1936268868/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_oo3Lzb13E03A9
Apparently it's a Wellness Series so brb researching series.
I use the planner and I think it's pretty cool. I wish it had more pages to just write but I have a nice notebook for that
>I failed a college course because I was too afraid to do public speaking.
I did too. Shit sucks, I've gotta work on it.
/u/TomasTTEngin is right though, behavioral therapy can fix this if you go through it.
A strategy I've been considering is going to toastmasters in conjunction with using the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy techniques from this book.
Supposedly CBT really does work surprisingly well. There was a recent study about people with social anxiety who did a self taught online CBT course and in only 9 weeks they showed it caused actual structural changes in their amygdalas (fear-processing center of their brain). I'll see if I can find that one, but yeah, there is hope to change!
Edit: Here's that study
Some form of dysautonomia perhaps?
As far as the anxiety, since you can't tolerate meds, try meditation or relaxation exercises. A great book on the subject is Full Catastrophe Living. You might find a program for it at your local hospital. It's not a quick fix, it will take weeks of practice, but it's very helpful.
/r/meditation is another place to look. On YouTube if you search for "yoga nidra" you will find lots of relaxation videos. The other advantage of meditation is that if you have trouble sleeping at night it can help you get the rest you need.
You might be able to tolerate some nootropics for your anxiety:
• Take 300-600mg Ashwagandha root extract standardized to ~5% withanolides and 200mg L-theanine in the morning
• Take more L-theanine as needed for extra relaxation and focus
• Take 200-400mg of magnesium citrate before bed
You need to understand the cycle of anxiety in order to understand how your body convinces itself that shit is real.
The cylce is Initial fear > causes your nerves to release adrenaline > causes your body to create fight or flight symptoms > causes more fear > more adrenaline > more symptoms.
in short: fear > adrenaline > symptoms > more fear and so on.
The "cure" is to let go of the initial fear, that first warning sign, let it float and give it no meaning.
I'd highly suggest to you to read that book:
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B009PFN4IQ?ref=dbs_P_W_faw_dp
its a must for anyone who suffers from anxiety, a book from 1962 that teaches how to cure anxiety for good (not instantly tho).
Stan Grof is fantastic. I actually got to meet him a couple weeks ago. Anyway, Gabor Mate has a great book on this subject that's worth reading for anyone interested.
Won't disclose my exact age but it is similar to yours <21.
Snacks: If you get hungry, drink water first then go for something to eat. Depending on your height and weight, you will need a different amount of water. I use an app called 'Water your body'.
A good healthy snack I would recommend is granola or seeds. If you have a blender or a food mixer then you can try making yourself smoothies.
I used to drink 5 cups of coffee a day. Coffee fueled me, if I didn't have coffee I just shutdown. It was not good. Since completely giving it up (completely cold turkey), I have found I have better natural energy levels and just feel better in general. It's really great.
Getting fit: Gyms are expensive. If you don't want to shell out for one, order yourself some weights, such as the one here and start doing curls and other weight based exercises. You can also try some of the work outs on this website, there are lots of workouts for abs, biceps etc. Also check out /r/Fitness
Code: Get stuck? Use stackoverflow, your question has been asked a million times, trust me.
I'm not sure on your ability, but many have suggest codecedemy. I would recommend this too but also coursera.org and udemy.com they contain hundreds of free (or cheap) courses.
You can also try youtube, there are lots of channels dedicated to programming, such as this one here. He works on Game programming (which is a really good way of learning), he includes the resources and the videos are very well done.
General: If you just want to generally improve then try learning a new language. I am currently learning Spanish (using Duolingo) and Korean (using a variety of resources, such as memrise, koreanfromzero and koreanclass101), I've made new friends because I'm learning these languages using an app called 'Hello Talk'. It makes you a more interesting person.
You can also try picking up a hobby. Sounds generic but try playing the guitar or another musical instrument, this will also improve your hand-eye coordination. Kill two birds will one stone and start cycling lots.
Another huge thing, is get to sleep early. I speak as a bit of a hypocrite on this one but going to bed at around 10:30pm really helps my energy levels through the day and helps me to be sharper.
Skin care: You didn't mention this specifically but thought I'd throw it in anyway. I have found that drinking 2L of pure water each day really helps with my skin. I also highly recommend vitimin B5 (found in most B multi-vitimins. sometimes listed as Pantothenic acid) as well as Omega-3 (I use a tablet but you can use the liquid).
Another good tip is to change your pillow cases every couple of days, if not every day.
Obviously I do not know your skin type, but these are things that worked for me.
Getting things done: Again, didn't mention this but I often find this a problem.
I have recently starting using Trello to coordinate all of my todos. Keep a very detailed to do list or you will forget it. To not have to remember anything about what to do is satisfying because rather than worrying about what homework you forgot or whatever, you can simply look at your todo list and work through it. Here is a good read on this principle. (You can find the pdf online).
A principle I use is that if it takes 5 minutes or less, then just do it now. Tidy your room for 5 minutes, it may look like a horses stable but it really doesn't take long.
I hope this helps! Obligatory wall of text apology.
http://www.amazon.com/Attention-Revolution-Unlocking-Power-Focused/dp/0861712765/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&amp;s=books&amp;qid=1265875762&amp;sr=8-1
Welcome to /r/Stoicism
With that said, Stoicism isn't something that can be absorbed in a day. It takes a long time to really internalize it.
Until then, take a multi-faceted approach:
These 3 will help you get closer to internalizing Stoicism but more importantly, give you a procedural plan to tackle your problem.
Hi, /u/themotherfuckingfox. I think there are several tacks you can take that will help, and it's important in doing any of them to recognise that they a) don't provide instant relief, b) require effort and c) don't automatically prevent panic attacks and anxiety.
I should add, I'm badly agoraphobic and I am almost hypocritical to offer this advice because I don't always follow it. That said, when I more or less follow more elements of it than not, I do far better than when I don't follow it at all. The shitty thing to recognise is that no matter how well you do these things, you still get bad days. Improvement is slow, and it will feel frustrating, but if you force yourself you will feel it. No miracles, no magical bullets, but it gets better, and at 25 it's definitely not the end of the line: far from it. Good luck. :)
P.S. I forgot to ask if you're a smoker (or indeed a drinker). If so, quit (both). It helps.
Oh wow...I'm doing this myself...huge pain in the ass :-)
The most important part is to understand you anxiety...there are lots of different kinds and typically people have multiple forms from multiple sources.
For instance there is generalized anxiety, specific anxiety, social anxiety, anticipatory anxiety and the list rolls on and on.
Once you have a better idea of where you anxiety comes from you can try to use different techniques to parry it - breathing, meditation, desensitization to that what causes the anxiety.
A therapist might be worth a try if you think the anxiety is affecting your life to the point where you aren't enjoying it.
At the very least I'd recommend this book (that was recommended to me by a therapist.) While I'm still working on taming anxiety I have a much better idea of what's going on with myself...and that does help.
Godspeed :-)
I’ve been doing exercises from this book for many years. Highly recommend!
https://www.amazon.com/Healing-Power-Breath-Techniques-Concentration/dp/1590309022
Summer before last I broke up with my ex and my last parent died in the same week. This was after months of poor sleep and job stress. I got the "just watch the sensations" advice. Like you, it didn't help and even made it worse. Band Aides are great for cuts, not so much gaping wounds. Yogic types, Buddhist types, and shrinks love to give this advice out and they really shouldn't unless they have experience using it with people. While it is great for experienced meditators with mild issues it is not a good thing for everyone in every situation to do.
Take a long walk next time, then finish up with a LONG stint of walking meditation concentrating walking as slowly and smoothly as you can tai-chi style. Concentrating on moving continuously and slowly will calm you down.
Also listen to this video by a Buddhist monk on the subject:
Ajahn Brahm : When Panic Attacks
Also, try
When Panic Attacks by Dr. David Burns
From the book above the author said these thoughts often come up during a panic attack and keep them going longer:
If you remind yourself of evidence to the contrary of those thoughts it will help blunt the edge
During that summer I talked it out with a shrink.
He told what made panic difficult to deal with is that is a blended emotion, consisting of several emotions happening at once. People don't know what they are feeling and get frightened. He said panic is a mix of
It didn't make it go away, but when I felt panic it helped for me to go through this list and try to identify which things in my life might be contributing to those emotions and what was possible to do about them.
Lastly you might want to try the breathing exercises from the book The Healing Breath. It was written by two medical researchers who did clinical studies on people doing breathing techniques from many traditions. They modified the techniques based on their research and there are a number of exercises for treating anxiety.
Type 1 diabetes sounds pretty scary, so I can understand why you would worry so much about your future. But if you take good care of your body (eat healthy foods, exercise, take your medication, etc.), then that much worrying is probably going to be counterproductive.
Have you considered going to a therapist to get help with your anxiety?
By the way, I found When Panic Attacks helpful for my own anxiety.
I have a great deal of affection for Japanese culture and it's the place I most want to visit someday, but I must address one thing: the misconception that there wasn't any looting in Japan after the tsunami. The general line of thinking seems to be there wasn't any, while we Americans acted like animals after Katrina. This simply isn't true.
The classic non-spiritual book on the health benefits of meditation was The Relaxation Response by Dr. Herbert Benson ....a "real" doctor. Available used on Amazon for $.01 + $3.99 shipping... Nirvana for $4.00.
It's long in the tooth and I'm sure has been supplanted by other books and studies over the years, but it'll get you started and give you some scientific background with no BS.
The Relaxation Response is the original in the genre.
Books by Jon Kabat-Zinn, founder of mindfulness-based stress reduction.
/r/meditationpapers for a distillation of recent research.
Absolutely, theres a whole body of research on this
If it happens again you will deal with it again. Try not to put unreasonable pressure on yourself in the sense that the world will end if you're not perfect from today forward. You have challenges unique to yourself. Things happen that are out of our control. Then we remember who we are and what we're trying to accomplish. Then things happen again that cause us to forget. Sometimes we forget just for a little while, sometimes for a long time. But eventually we come back and remember what we were trying to get done. This cycle happens for everyone, just on different scales.
> I'm already in therapy and I have a psychologist they all know about it already but are not seeming to help
Remember you're paying them. So if what they're providing you in session isn't helping, seriously consider switching therapists. Keep going. Don't give up on therapy. But find someone else. It's ok to shop around if the person you're seeing isn't helping you feel better and help you be more confident in your reactions to life's daily challenges. Each time you leave their office you should feel like they gave you a technique to practice, a book to read, or helped you walk through a situation that has been bothering you and you just feel better about it after talking it out. If you decide your current therapist isn't helping, have a new patient appointment lined up with someone else as soon as you can. You can just call your present therapist's office and let them know you've moved on to try someone else.
You should have some king of homework to do between sessions, whether you decide on what that will be yourself or your therapist gives you something to work on. Try this technique, take this online class, read this book. But it all needs to be laser focused on your goals for therapy. Why are you there?
Writing helps. You can write a list out of your therapy goals. You want to cure A, B and C. You want to understand your relationship with your potential spouse or parents? You determine your goals. But then keep the therapist on task. For example, if spending five sessions talking about your parents hasn't made it better at all, why not? What's not getting done? Other priorities will come up and it's ok to switch gears some sessions. But you want to get back to your list of things you're trying to accomplish as soon as you can in the next session. You can even have a checklist to run through the first fifteen minutes, a few minutes on each one, then the remaining 45 for a deep dive on what you're working on that is most important, like anger management, personal resilience and mood management, etc.
Really work hard on not getting mad at yourself for getting mad. That only makes it last longer when you are already agitated and then start beating yourself up for it. Treat each incident as a learning experience. What happened? How were you feeling when it started? Were you already feeling bad? Or did something catch you off guard?
Everything that gets pushed down or ignored comes back. The more we try to maintain a plain, flat, placid facade, the more the volcano rumbles. And it can literally start to come out of nowhere. Tiny, unimportant things can make us blow up. What we are working with is fight-or-flight, regulated by the amygdala. The question is how it gets suddenly turned on by trivial things and how to see it coming a little better and ways to turn it back off.
So what we need to do is figure how to let a little gas out of the tires throughout the day so we're not walking around so tightly would up all the time. How do we do that? That's what the basic anger management techniques are for. There are plenty of online classes you can take and more books than time to read. But when we have a lot more going on at the same time, it’s a real challenge.
Keeping a journal helps. Write down what happened that made you upset. Any personal incident or interactions with others. You don't have to write a lot, just the most obvious, important details of what happened. Then, when you've calmed down you can go back over it to reflect on how it unfolded and how your reactions changed, sometimes over the course of just a few minutes.
You don't have to write every day. It's there for you when you need it. If you have trouble sleeping, keeping it by your bed with a good pen lets you write the thoughts that keep you up at night down so they're not rolling around keeping you awake. They will still be there on paper in the morning, so you don't have to worry about forgetting them and can address them once you've had a good nights' sleep. You're allowed to rest. Daily life is easier if you get appropriate sleep. Protect your sleep like gold.
That's one of the most powerful aspects of the journal. It's a memory aid. You can use it to create a to-do list and calendar, etc. But you can also use it to keep a list of what you are trying to accomplish. You can set your personal goals and track how well you are meeting them. Like your own project management system but extremely simplified. Bullet Journal (like bullet points) is just one method but I like it because it's a form of fast journaling, making it as easy as possible to get the info you're trying to keep track of on paper and all in one place.
If no one has recommended books on trauma and healing, these are very different books but I hope one of them might help. The Body Keeps the Score or When the Body Says No. I am only writing from the knowledge of someone who has deal with anger management too and been in therapy a long time but I hope some of this helps. Hang in there!
A couple links for getting The Attention Revolution:
Read The Worry Cure. He has got several strategies for dealing with the "What if" scenario.
> I slightly disagree with both of you. I am taking antabuse to stay sober because I know I can't stop myself on my own. I am going to stay on the meds for at least 3 months, maybe a whole year. In the back of my head I keep thinking, "what will I do when I come off the meds?" Will I relapse? I know that I am unable to have 'just one' and I know I am powerless to stop myself on my own. What will I do? Honestly, I am scared shitless.
I respect your thoughts and concerns but I offer up another way to look at it that may or may not help or just may plant some seeds for further food of thought.
There are different types of worry that stem from what we call "Cognitive Distortions" more specifically is what is referred to as "fortune telling & catastrophizing." The concept is that (please understand and take to heart that this in no way shape or form a judgement of you nor towards you by me; I am just using you as an example of explanation based on your reply) you are experiencing / performing the acts of fortune teller and predicting things that may or may not happen far far down the line when in reality you have no idea what the future holds.
The second, catastrophizing, is that you are automatically going to the worst case scenario of the fortune telling that is taking place. There is a psychological explanation behind it but I don't want to muddy up the thread worse than I have already so if you would like that information let me know and I will post.
There is what is referred to as "productive and unproductive worry." Quick references that you can draw your own parallels to your concerns aforementioned.
I highly suggest anyone that would like to make steps towards worrying less and coping to check out "The Worry Cure" by Dr. Robert Leahy I have two copies in paperback, a copy downloaded to my Kindle app on my cell and to the desktop on both laptops and my FTP server so I can access it anywhere.
Day by day. Day. By Day. Focus on healthy productive worry. Time will progress day by day and something may click, something may change, the meds work and you are off of them...feel my flow?
Right now you are sober and that is what counts sir. You have completed step 1 of a 12 step program of recovery: You have acknowledged and admitted that alcohol is impacting your life and or those around you in a negative manner, you are powerless over it and you have the desire to stop.
I also plant this seed with the caveat that I do not know what that medication is or does but would you rather take a pill for a year once or twice a day or would you rather continue to beat the everlasting crap out of your body and brain, put yourself directly in front of the speeding bullet and feel like shit everyday you wake up after drinking?
Food for thought. I hope it had some value to you or someone else. I have a background in the human behavior realm as I was a psychologist, then LE, then sales - to which I lost the job due to my 2nd DUI and then to my current role. I do not proclaim nor ever will that I am an expert as you can read my post history and see that I just had a meltdown on the 4th of July and the old saying in the industry is completely true: "You have to be a psycho to be a psycho." ;-)
Keep on keeping, be righteous.
J.
Maybe you should save up just a little bit for a therapist. Also, this book is great:
http://www.amazon.com/Worry-Cure-Seven-Steps-Stopping/dp/1400097665
I definitely feel ya in regards to 'medical anxiety'. I kind of always have a mild hypochondria thing going on, but my anxiety spikes like mad anytime I have a medical issue that causes, say, an ER visit.
If you have finals coming up, that means you're in college of some sort- is there a counselor or therapist at the university you could speak to? I know I have a bad habit of waiting to get treatment until my panic is out of control, and it'll be much easier to deal with if you catch your fears early.
At the least, maybe seek out this book. I was skeptical when this was recommended to me, but it has a lot of good stuff to say. In particular, I'm thinking of a set of steps they lay out when you think you're in medical danger or have the 'I'm gonna die' feeling.
Hope it gets better for you soon. Anxiety is just one of those things that ebbs and flows.
Do you have a kindle account? If not get one and read these books:
When Panic Attacks
Constructive Living
The Confidence Gap
The Dare Response
Just download the samples and see which one resonates with you most that you might like to read. Seriously potently life changing stuff. These have been invaluable techniques for me personally.
Fellow black female INFP checking in! So glad I'm not the only one anymore! It's nice to have other people that know what it feels like when people assume that you're mean/stuck-up just for being introverted and not like the extroverted black people in the media. Also the struggle of trying to overcome stereotypes surrounding black academic performance under the added burden of ADHD.
I don't have a lot of real-life resources; everybody suggests therapy but it's hard to find a non-black therapist that understands how your different struggles intersect, or a black therapist that you can trust won't judge you like other black people have done your whole life. Here are some resources that I've personally found helpful and maybe you will, too. My favorite book about adult ADHD is You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid, or Crazy?! It talks about everything, from social situations to treatment options. The website IntrovertDear is pretty heavily focused on INFX types and has helped me feel less lonely and more understood. There's also a nice podcast called "Therapy for Black Girls" that focuses on issues that affect the mental health of black women. You can also PM me if you need to talk/vent!
Spend time working on your issues with anxiety and panic attacks.
This is a good book that was helpful to me - It's in plain words, and easy to comprehend and especially pertinent and useful to anyone with issues with their nerves.
Who knows if you're an 8 or a 5 really. When under extreme stress and anxiety your true type is incredibly hard to discern.
I struggled with this for a while (and still do) and saw a therapist for a short time who specializes in chronic pain (closest I could find to chronic illness). She definitely gave me some good tools to help keep things in perspective.
She recommended this book if you want to check it out. I honestly never finished it... https://www.amazon.com/Full-Catastrophe-Living-Revised-Illness-ebook/dp/B00C4BA3UK
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>Overall I'm interested to hear what the more medically minded people in this sub have to say because it was difficult for me to evaluate some of the claims this book makes.
Unfortunately I am not 100% medically minded but I felt the first half of the book did a good job of explaining the correlation between High ACE and then subsequent poor health.
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>(Side note: This book's explanation of meditation and how it works was really interesting to me and I would like to read more about it. I've been hesitant to add meditation to my daily routine because I find it hard to motivate myself to do something that I'm not sure has scientific backing as I hate wasting time. If anyone knows of a book along those lines, about proven health benefits of meditation and how it works, I'd like to read it. I read "10% Happier" and it ended up just being a memoir.)
Have you ever looked into Jon Kabat-Zinn? He has a really good book that talks about the health benefits of meditation. https://www.amazon.com/Full-Catastrophe-Living-Revised-Illness-ebook/dp/B00C4BA3UK/ref=sr_1_2?keywords=jon+kabat+zinn&qid=1558459638&s=gateway&sr=8-2
His book resonated with me and has helped me through some tough times.
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>I have an ACE score of 3 and am well aware of my trauma's impact on my mental health but I had never considered how it may impact my physical health. I think that was a valuable thing to learn and I'll probably try journaling about it soon. There have definitely been times in my life where I was marinating in stress, and that can't be good on the body.
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>Really curious to know what others think!
I can relate to your comments, and I feel like for the past 4 years since I had my son I have been marinating my body in stress and it has definitely caught up to me.
I suffered with panic attacks and thought I was going crazy and/or had a terrible cancer. The book "Hope and Help for Your Nerves" gave me my life back. I got over crippling panic disorder without drugs and without a psychiatrist... well, actually, I briefly tried prozac and klonipn, but the prozac made me more nervous and I worried about getting addicted to the klonipin. (Intense worries like that are part of the illness)
"Hope and Help for Your Nerves" by Claire Weekes is an amazing book. It was written in 1962 by a female family practice doctor in Australia and is the greatest resource someone with panic disorder could hope for. Her terminology is delightfully archaic but she understands every symptom, thought and nuance of panic disorder. You feel like she knows you and is speaking directly to you.
I was up a lot of nights with my heart pounding with chest pain and having difficulty breathing and hot flashes and reading her book (well, chapters 1-7 anyway) over and over again got me through it and got me back to normal.
http://www.amazon.com/Hope-Help-Nerves-Signet-ebook/dp/B009PFN4IQ/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&amp;ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1379892156&amp;sr=1-1&amp;keywords=claire+weekes
Please read the Amazon reviews. The is a young doctor that wrote a particularly touching one about the book saving him as a medical student. A recurring theme in the reviews is how much they wish Dr Weekes was still alive so they could thank her.
It's $6.
If I can make a recommendation it would be to read this Hope and Help For your Nerves by Dr Claire Weeks I've read it last week in the midst of my taper and it put a lot of perspective on what's anxiety and what it can do and convince you of. It also has helpful methods of coping as well.
One possible reason is that there are different types of fat and people often fail to distinguish them and even some scientists sometimes fail to note the difference as a confounding variable.
From Robert M. Sapolsky's book about the biological stress response "Why Zebras don't get ulcers."
> Time for one of the great dichotomies revered by fat cell aficionados: fat cells located in your abdominal area, around your belly, are known as "visceral" fat. Fill up those fat cells with fat, without depositing much fat elsewhere in your body, and you take on an "apple" shape.
> In contrast, fat cells around your rear end form "gluteal" fat. Fill those up preferentially with fat and you take on a "pear" shape, being round-bottomed.
> The formal way to quantify these different types of fat deposition is to measure the circumference of your waist (which tells you about the amount of abdominal fat) and the circumference of your hips (a measure of gluteal fat).
[...]
> This stimulation of visceral fat deposition by glucocorticoids is not good news. This is because if you have to pack on some fat, you definitely want to become a pear, not an apple. As we saw in the chapter on metabolism, lots of fat is a predictor of Syndrome X. But it turns out that a large WHR [waist-to-hip-ratio] is an even better predictor of trouble than being overweight is.
Another subtlety is that the often used Body Mass Index only accounts for weight, not fat specifically (much less which type of fat as explained before). So aside from the extremes, it does not really tell you much about the figure type (athletic, chubby, skinny-fat, etc.).
As a consequence some people get hung up on the flaws of the BMI and throw out the metaphorical baby with the bathwater.
Then there is the philosophical argument that people have the right to decide themselves how they want to look.
I used to have such problems with this, but it turns out I wasn't "lazy," it was ADHD. It never gets better by willpower alone, but by smart application of coping techniques and medication.
a book that might help
You're not alone!
My diagnosis changed everything for me. I finally had answers to things. It took a long time to realize that I'm not lazy, stupid, or crazy. (That's also the title of a very useful book, by the way. I can recommend it.)
But after getting help, I made it through college--twice! And I tried writing a freaking book, just to show myself I could take on a big project and see it to the end. And I did it! I don't think I ever would have been able to do those things without getting help.
The diagnosis happened and suddenly everything made sense. Or it started to. Hopefully, your visit will open some doors for you. Change things for you like it changed things for me. I'm also upset at having been cheated out of so many years, but there are even more years ahead to be not-cheated-out-of! For us both!
You should definitely get a Little Book of Calm.
might i suggest the little book of calm
This is the link to Amazon
If you want to understand it, read The Unthinkable: Who Survives When Disaster Strikes and Why. No, seriously, get your hands on a copy one way or another -- it's a good read, and contains disaster psychology information that is absolutely vital.
Anyway, what you're describing is one of the known quirks of human group psychology that people really, really need to understand so that they can overcome it. Something nearly identical happened in the Towers on 9/11 -- people delayed evacuating when they could see fire and smell smoke, and then dithered in the stairwells on the way down. Many people have died because of a known bug in the human brain that you can train yourself to overcome.
Sorry if this comes on a bit strong, but it really is a very important book. I'm buying copies for my friends and family members and sitting on them until they read it.
There is an excellent book called The Unthinkable about different reactions people have during disasters. I highly, highly recommend it.
audiobook torrent in case you want to listen along after you buy it:
http://theaudiobookbay.com/audio-books/the-unthinkable-who-survives-when-disaster-strikes-and-why/
http://www.amazon.com/Unthinkable-Survives-When-Disaster-Strikes/dp/0307352897
The bumps between the sections of concrete highway do not count ;)
Outside of seeing a therapist I've found that meditation and exercise are the best ways to deal with lowering my overall anxiety level. Several years ago I had a significant bout of anxiety and panic attacks that were pretty debilitating. I ended up seeing a therapist who specialized in anxiety disorders (I've dealt with panic attacks nearly my entire adult life). He introduced me to simple meditation and breathing exercises that really worked in reducing my overall baseline anxiety levels.
The meditation exercises allowed me to better cope with periods of new stress simply because my overall anxiety level was now starting at a lower position whenever new stress/worry showed up. If my overall anxiety level was hovering around a 7 out of 10 and some new stress showed up it was easy for it to go right to a 10 out or 10. With the meditation exercises it brought my overall level down to around a 4 out of 10. When new stress showed up I would still experience worry and anxiety but it wouldn't send me over the edge into panic attacks and the cycle of worry that would keep me amped up for weeks on end.
There are a couple of good books dealing with this. The Relaxation Response and Don't Panic that were really helpful.
If you choose to see a therapist (something I've found very helpful multiple times throughout my life) look for one specializing in anxiety disorders and cognitive behavioral therapy. They can help you reframe the way you think about anxiety and stress and help provide new coping mechanisms.
The meditation routine is like a discipline. You have to keep it up in order for it to work. I've gotten out of the habit of doing it (like right now) several times only to pick it back up again when I realized I was getting myself into a bad place.
Hope this is helpful. Good luck!
https://www.amazon.com/Relaxation-Response-Herbert-Benson/dp/0380006766#
Read The Relaxation Response by Dr. Herbert Benson. Any library would probably have this. Its meditation written by a cardiologist without the Woo.
Also managing stress and trauma!!
Yes I do.
Particularly helps when you are new to somewhere or something until some action becomes a habit.
Even after then if working on something important I'll often create a check-list to make sure I've thought of everything possible.
I've extended this way beyond software development though also. I have all kinds of lists for a variety of subjects.
See; http://www.bulletjournal.com/
Read; http://www.amazon.co.uk/Getting-Things-Done-Stress-free-Productivity/dp/0749922648/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&amp;ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1398676861&amp;sr=1-1&amp;keywords=get+things+done+david+allen
I just finished the life changing magic of tidying, which is excellent, and has made an immediate difference.
The Getting Things Done is deservedly famous too.
You need to acquire the skill of picking outcomes that you want to achieve and then working towards completing them (even if you don't know how at the outset). Seems like you've got the vision / ambition side down. I would really recommend the book Getting Things Done by David Allen to help you understand the process of moving projects to completion: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Getting-Things-Done-Stress-free-Productivity/dp/0749922648
> What exactly will happen if I tell them?
I would simply tell him/her them the next time you meet with them once you get settled in that you would like to talk about something else that has happened in the past that has adversely impacted you. Tell them flat out you have a lot of trepidation about bringing this up out of fear of judgement and their reaction. At this time they will likely tell you its perfectly fine to bring up anything. And then tell them that you are in a sexually abusive relationship, you were sexually molested by both of your parents as a child and you want to work on getting through some of the feelings surrounding the events in order to keep up your progression of improving your mental well being.
Only go with the details initially as far as you feel comfortable. Once its out, the therapist will know further down the line when to bring the topic up, when to not bring it up, when you are talking about it when to press you and when to ease off depending on your vibe for the day.
If it would help you, I'm willing to help you go through a dry run if you think it would be beneficial to help with your comfort level in approaching the topic. Feel free to let me know.
Check out a book by Dr. Robert Leahy called "The Worry Cure" as its amazing and will really help with the fortune telling and catastrophizing amongst other things. Its written in plain English, not a bunch of psych lingo.
I sincerely congratulate you on your successes thus far and hope that you continue down your path of healing. Its a life long journey, but one that's worth keeping up. Think of yourself as 'Forest Gump' when he just starts running back and forth, back and forth, all across the United States. That's you, but you aren't running away, your running to.
I have read the beginning of the following book:
https://www.amazon.com/Worry-Cure-Seven-Steps-Stopping/dp/1400097665
I recommend it, but my n=1 experiment is still running :P
I'm the same way. Mine is both physical and mental, but the physical problems are especially bothersome. Lightheadedness, dizziness, etc...the rapid heartbeat has definitely improved since I started with the beta blocker. Same with the palpitations (that sensation of having skipped a heartbeat). The beta blocker I take is called propranolol. They also use it as a preventative med for migraines, which I great, because I just so happen to also get migraines!
But anyway, yeah. The beta will probably only affect the physical manifestations of panic.
Ativan is in a class of drugs called benzodiazepines. I've never tried Ativan, but I've taking Xanax, another benzo, on and off since I was 19. They're bittersweet. They're very good to have on hand for acute symptoms (like, when you panic while driving and you're far from home), but they're dangerous to take every day. It's reaaaaallly easy to develop a tolerance for them...and it's very easy to get addicted.
Then, there's also Buspar...it's an anti-anxiety drug in a class of its own. It plays with your serotonin levels, but not in the same way that an SSRI would. It's better for GAD, from what I hear, but I've tried it before for panic. Honestly, it did nothing for me. I hear that it doesn't do much for many people, either. But then again, it has very few side effects. So, that might be a worthwhile thing to try, too.
Oh, and biofeedback: http://psychcentral.com/lib/2006/an-introduction-to-biofeedback/
Basically, you get hooked up to a few different sensors that measure your heart rate, your belly expansion (breathing), your hand temperature, your skin conductance (sweat), and...something else, maybe. I can't remember. Anyway, these receptors give you a real-time display on a computer screen of your physiology. You can watch, live, as your levels rise when you think of something anxiety-inducing...and, likewise, you can watch your levels fall when you do something that calms you. The goal of biofeedback is to train yourself to learn precisely how to calm your nervous system down. You'll techniques to slow down your heart, slow down your breathing, warm your hands (which reduces anxiety), and so on. Useful stuff!
Oh, and have you done any research into vitamins yet? There's a great chapter in The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook about nutrition for anxiety. It's important to get appropriate levels of magnesium, B vitamins, and a few other key things --
http://www.amazon.com/Anxiety-Phobia-Workbook-Edmund-Bourne/dp/157224223X
Maybe Google Books will let you preview the Nutrition chapter! Or, well, heck...it's a very worthwhile book to buy in whole.
Get his book:
http://www.amazon.com/Anxiety-Phobia-Workbook-Edmund-Bourne/dp/157224223X
Dude, 100% it's anxiety. I wouldn't be surprised if you start getting pannic attacks. Go to a Dr and get some meds for the short terms. Long term, prob some CBT , and check this out
https://www.amazon.com/Healing-Power-Breath-Techniques-Concentration/dp/1590309022/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?adgrpid=56307339336&amp;gclid=Cj0KCQjwn8_mBRCLARIsAKxi0GKb78mRVW8EAsB9ZS6kw1lM0XP__La9jKVW3Fa6dfDnbxGjXHyfD2UaAopaEALw_wcB&amp;hvadid=274736233105&amp;hvdev=m&amp;hvlocphy=9003445&amp;hvnetw=g&amp;hvpos=1t1&amp;hvqmt=e&amp;hvrand=7707094056570275669&amp;hvtargid=kwd-297246907360&amp;hydadcr=22161_10176614&amp;keywords=the+healing+power+of+the+breath&amp;qid=1557461536&amp;s=gateway&amp;sr=8-1
Read The Instinct to Heal, its really good I just read it today and it has a lot of discussion of non-med treatments for depression at least.
The Instinct to Heal: Curing Depression, Anxiety and Stress Without Drugs and Without Talk Therapy https://www.amazon.ca/dp/1594861587/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_0J9UCbAF7QQ7Y
Lots of beginners have reported getting a lot of value from Missy Vineyard's book, "How You Stand, How You Move, How You Live". I've read it myself and it explains the concepts clearly, and really goes into the core of what Alexander Technique is, which is much more about how you use your mind rather than how you try to use your body.
The best way is to get some hands on teaching though, which can be challenging because of cost and proximity to a good teacher. If you can find a good teacher and can afford to do at least say 6 - 10 lessons then you'll probably notice is a big change.
Books can go a really long way if you apply them and with the help of some imagination. I say that because a lot of coaches and actors are against learning from books thinking that you can ONLY learn in a class. I’ve learned SO many applicable tools through reading about acting. Check out Stanislaski’s “An Actor’s Work.” It’s a new translation of his original texts, and it’s amazing! He covers the craft in great detail, and he has chapters on muscular release, which includes finding your center of gravity, and chapters on the voice and physical embodiment.
An Actor’s Work:
An Actor's Work (Routledge Classics) (Volume 153) https://www.amazon.com/dp/113868838X/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_E5F6AbB5V1JW3
And here’s a great but dense book on the Alexander Techniqe:
How You Stand, How You Move, How You Live: Learning the Alexander Technique to Explore Your Mind-Body Connection and Achieve Self-Mastery https://www.amazon.com/dp/1600940064/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_U4F6AbTNM71Y4
Cheers!
I've been reading this one. It's helped me out a lot so far. I highly recommend it.
http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1600940064/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?qid=1416896932&amp;sr=8-1&amp;pi=AC_SY200_QL40
Good luck!
Its your choice, not your dads but hiding is a bitch. Better to know where they stand and be open than avoid them and hide.
Plus, they may come around. Your dad's predictions may be wrong. I certainly predicted my dad would not be supportive but he was supportive but was the first other than my wife and kids I felt comfortable presenting around.
If they're not supportive, welll... that sucks but at least you won't hide. You can then work on resilience skills and stick up for yourself in a nice but firm way.
Your dad has issues with having to deal with them. He needs help with resilience too. If you want to work with him on practicing what to say when conversations become uncomfortable including ways to change the subject or stand up for oneself, maybe consider doing that before coming out.
Here's a good book for practicing resilience:
https://www.amazon.com/Queer-Transgender-Resilience-Workbook-Orientation/dp/1626259461
Men with compulsive patterns have one thing in common: abandonment trauma from a very early age. This requires constant medication through a hijacked reward circuit see: www.yourbrainonporn.com. Because of early conditioning an addict believes himself to be a flawed human being; the worst worst. Toxic shame as an identity becomes dehumanising and increasingly unmanageable.
Recovery involves making contact with this primal pain. It's ugly work. There are many tools available:
https://7chan.org/lit/src/Robert_Glover_-_No_More_Mr_Nice_Guy.pdf
http://www.amazon.com/Healing-Shame-Binds-Recovery-Classics/dp/0757303234/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1398108453&amp;sr=8-1&amp;keywords=healing+the+shame+that+binds+you
http://www.amazon.com/The-Revolutionary-Trauma-Release-Process/dp/1897238401/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1398108520&amp;sr=8-1&amp;keywords=david+berceli
Good places to start. Nofap is a great platform but the flavour is often day-counting, minimisation, rationalisation and denial.
Unconditional self-acceptance is the big win.
Number one, take a deep breathe and tell yourself that you are still you. You haven’t suddenly changed into someone else, you haven’t lost you’re identity. You aren’t bpd. You have bpd.
Number two, but these two books: DBT® Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition https://www.amazon.ca/dp/1572307811/ref=cm_sw_r_sms_c_api_Uk80Ab8EPAW4R
The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Wellness Planner: 365 Days of Healthy Living for You... https://www.amazon.ca/dp/1936268868/ref=cm_sw_r_sms_c_api_tl80AbV4W8531
They will be super useful for your dbt. And make sure you do dbt! It’s life changing and is honestly the biggest, best treatment.
Number Three: ask yours loved ones to do their research. There are tons of great books out there, if they can understand your disorder they can be a support for you.
I hope this helps. I just know those are things I wish I had known a lot sooner.
The two I found the most useful are This one which is the first one I started with. Once I went through that book I then got This one along with the manual. I then got myself this diary to keep track of using the skills.
I didn't find all the activities helpful, I think it's about picking and choosing what feels good/works best for you.
I ordered this one!
https://www.amazon.com/When-Panic-Attacks-Drug-Free-Anxiety-ebook/dp/B000GCFVV0
I've dealt with the same things in my relationship. I'm also in my first (and hopefully lifelong) relationship and I feel the same sort of separation anxiety sometimes. Even when we are just going to be apart for a day I get all depressed and anxious. We've been together four months now (almost five) and he's become such an important part of my life, and being with him has become part of my daily routine. When we don't get to see each other, I feel like my day is thrown off.
I went to Disney World with my family about 2 months into our relationship and we were apart about 10 days. I dreaded the lead up to it (even though I was also excited about going to Disney World) and I had that ache in my chest the first day. I just knew he'd realize he wasn't really in love with me and that he'd dump me through text or something (which never happened of course...) Luckily it got better (though I did have a sort of depression episode on one of the days, which was caused by a couple of other issues...) We Facetimed together, texted, and talked on the phone for a little bit each day, and that made it easier while being apart.
I had the same questions about over-dependency also, but I've come to the conclusion that those feelings are because you're still building trust with one another, and for anxious people like us, it's a lot more difficult to learn to trust someone else, so to compensate we get a little clingy. I still get anxious when I know we're not going to see each other, but it's not NEARLY as bad as when we first entered into a serious relationship with each other.
A few things that have helped me get through those times are... Being honest with one another. We agreed, right from the start, that we would always be honest about how we're feeling with one another. My BF also deals with some depression / anxiety so he knows what it's like. I've been open with him about my hyper-anxiety issues and about how my mind takes small things and blows them out of proportion. He can usually tell when I'm having a "flare-up" (as I like to call them) and if he asks what's wrong, I usually tell him "I'm dealing with some anxiety right now, my thoughts probably aren't rational, so let's talk about it later when I'm thinking rationally again, ok?" In those few times, he's just backed off with the questions, held me if we were together, assured me it's going to be ok, and then we talked about it later when I felt better.
I also started looking into cognitive therapy techniques. These specific ideas in particular have helped me quite a bit.
Anyway... I've gone on way longer than I intended and probably moved into things that aren't even part of your issue, but there it is anyway... If you're interested, here's a link to the book that helped me a bit:
https://www.amazon.com/When-Panic-Attacks-Drug-Free-Anxiety-ebook/dp/B000GCFVV0/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&amp;qid=1482052893&amp;sr=8-1
Also, here's a link to the anxiety journal I made for myself based off of stuff from the book (I spreadsheet pretty much every part of my life lol!) Disclaimer: I'm not a professional. This is just something I've made for myself based on information given in the book above, which I've found helpful for me. (Also, don't judge me too harshly on my thoughts written in it... I'm leaving them in it just so you can see what I do. I know they're pretty melodramatic...)
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1i6XTy5OkRNjfaoGnwHqSZjtWZUuJkbqaBvhP-RwKPI8/edit?usp=sharing
I'd suggest ya read this
https://www.amazon.com/Relaxation-Response-Herbert-Benson/dp/0380006766
The Relaxation Response by Herbert Benson is the book recommended to me by my therapist. It's not a cure all by any means but having 15-30 minutes of peace every day makes a difference.
I recommend Herbert Benson's The Relaxation Response on relaxation meditation. Especially if you want something far from New Age and based on research.
You can't so much will yourself to stop thinking about something, but you can work to change how you react to these thoughts. Tell yourself to stop thinking about a pink elephant. What are you thinking about now?
I would suggest two things: get organized and practice meditation. There are so many different tools available these days for organizing your life. KeePass is an excellent tool for managing all your accounts and passwords. It uses encryption that's currently impossible to crack, and all you have to do is remember the master password. Use a service like Google Calendar to record all events and have it send email or text reminders. Write in a journal as often as possible to clear your head and organize your thoughts, then review that journal often so you can see those thoughts in a different light.
Meditating is an amazing tool for centering yourself and calming an overactive brain. How to Meditate is one of the better books on the subject. The Relaxation Response is excellent as well. It's a discipline that you practice and become better over time. It's just like riding a bike. Don't expect yourself to get it on the first try.
Overall, it's not so much your thoughts as it is your reaction to them. Mindfulness meditation will help you observe the thoughts as they occur and rather than getting caught up in them and experiencing all the fear, doubt, and worry, you'll recognize their irrational nature and allow them to pass on their way.
relaxation response
>Det är självklart att den avancerade teknologin, vårt avancerade samhälle etc har bidraget till ett lyckligare liv.
Intressant observation. Vad grundar du detta påstående på? Många moderna sjukdomar och oönskade sinnestillstånd är nämligen direkt kopplade till den stress som uppstår till följd av all hets och framtidsdyrkan.
Ett fåtal exempel är koncentrationssvårigheter, generaliserat ångestsyndrom, klinisk depression samt missbrukarbeteenden.
>Personligen så siktar jag på att nå min högsta potential. Har nyligen fått min första riktiga jobb och siktar på att jobba mig uppåt. Jag vill lära mig mer om organisation och struktur, få arbetserfarenhet kort och gott.
Tittade du på videoklippet jag länkade till? Det du beskriver är nämligen precis den vanföreställning som oerhört många lever med. Det är den närmast religiösa tron på att meningsfullhet i livet endast går att uppnå genom en ständig strävan efter ett (illusoriskt) mål.
Varför vill du lära dig mer om organisation och struktur? Varför vill du få det du kallar arbetserfarenhet?
Missförstå mig inte. Jag ser inget problem i att arbeta, däremot ser jag ett problem i att arbeta (och studera) för ett mål som inte existerar. Studier, forskning, kreativa övningar och arbete bör alla vara mål i sig själva. Ens huvudsakliga syssla i livet bör vara ovillkorligt meningsfull, utan krav på framtida prestation och resultat.
Jag studerade varken matematik eller teoretisk fysik för att jag hade ett mål i sikte, utan jag gjorde det enkom för att det var roligt och för att jag upplevde en i arbetet inneboende meningsfullhet. Detsamma gäller min heltidssyssla (forskning och viss undervisning) samt mitt skapande av musik.
>Med att spela musik så blir det inte roligt att vara på samma nivå och ständigt spela samma låtar.
Ännu en intressant observation. Att vänja sig vid en låt så pass att man direkt hamnar i ett flow när den framförs är nämligen bland det mest njutbara som går att uppleva i musikväg. Visst improviserar man ibland, men det sker spontant och man gör det inte för att man känner att man uppnår ett framtida mål.
Detsamma gäller matematikstudier; man utforskar inte den matematiska världen för att man föreställer sig ett framtida mål, utan för att man upplever en villkorslös mening i de intellektuella och de kreativa aspekterna av arbetet.
>Man vill lära sig mer och bli bättre, såklart. Detta är detsamma i vårat samhälle. Man jobbar för att att effektivera och förbättra allt ständigt. Det är inte logiskt att anse att det är något negativt.
Jag förmodar att detta är vad man får lära sig under sin uppväxt, men anser du alltså att man inte bör ifrågasätta de rådande normerna?
Se gärna detta klipp (även detta är omkring två minuter långt) gällande effektivisering inom grundskolan. Kohn har även författat boken Feel-Bad Education som disktuerar ämnet mer utförligt.
Varför vill du effektivisera allt? Du talar om logik, men du har själv inte konstruerat ett logiskt giltigt argument som talar för din vilja att sträva efter mer och bättre.
Du verkar basera din tro på rena auktoritetsargument och naturalistiska felslut. Har du studerat argumentationsanalys, kritiskt tänkande eller logik på någon nivå högre än den som eventuellt lärs ut vid gymnasiet (formellt eller på fritiden)?
Vad är det du personligen försöker uppnå med din effektivisering?
Kort och gott: När du står inför döden, vad tror du dig då ha fått ut av din ständiga strävan efter effektivisering?
(Du springer i ett mentalt hamsterhjul för att du tror att det tar dig till ett odefiniterat (och odefinierbart) mål; det är fullt möjlig att stiga av hjulet och istället ta sig en joggingrunda i vacker skogsmiljö, och på så vis njuta av det medan det sker, utan att allt hänger på hallucinerade framtidsvisioner.)
OP, you may be interested in a book called "When the Body Says No". If you read it and find that what it says feels true in your own experience, you may find a path to heal your auto-immune disease challenges. https://www.amazon.com/When-Body-Says-Understanding-Stress-Disease/dp/0470923350
Either, I have an anxiety disorder too, or what you described sounds pretty normal to me! I think it's perfectly reasonable to wonder about the things you described - I guess the important question is how does thinking about these problems make you feel. You mentioned that it makes you feel like you don't have your shit together, and I find when you have a lot of stuff on your mind it's easy to feel overwhelmed - like you don't have a grip on things. What I find helpful (and I really should get in the habit of doing this daily) is having a journal on my computer where I just pour out all my thoughts. Anything on my mind I just start typing and it really helps me explore the issue, and when I've done this for everything on my mind I really feel like I've a got grip on stuff. I suppose this only works if you can touch-type though because it means you don't have to think about what you are typing.
In terms of organisation, there are a number of books out there on time management, but tbh it sounds like most are just trying to make money without offering decent advice. There are two decent books though:
Getting Things done - http://www.amazon.co.uk/Getting-Things-Done-Stress-free-Productivity/dp/0749922648
and the first things first section of this book - http://www.amazon.co.uk/Habits-Highly-Effective-People/dp/0684858398/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&amp;ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1394873069&amp;sr=1-1&amp;keywords=7+habits+of+highly+effective+people
I see you are already doing meditation and working out which are apparently both great for dealing with anxiety on a physiological level.
The first few chapters of this book helped me.
http://www.amazon.com/The-Attention-Revolution-Unlocking-Focused/dp/0861712765
I can definitely relate to everything you mentioned here. Lately it's become pretty overwhelming for me, and I'm struggling to figure out what to do. I've been trying a bunch of different techniques/tools to cope with the stress and the anxiety but mostly it has been frustrating how ineffective they have been. And I also have the same issue on Sundays/Mondays, Sundays in particular are rough for me, I'm always depressed.
For what it's worth I can tell you the things which have helped me the most so far are mindfulness-based techniques, and cognitive-behavioral techniques to reduce the amount of worrying I do (a pretty good book for that is 'The Worry Cure', it's on amazon https://www.amazon.com/Worry-Cure-Seven-Steps-Stopping/dp/1400097665/ ). I've also found regular exercise and yoga is helpful.
Another big thing I've had to do is make a conscious effort to try to work with thoughts about my job which are extremely stressful, for example I make sticky notes with quotes that help me try to cultivate gratitude/appreciation for my job. Or I'll try to catch myself when I'm really stressed, and do deep diaphragmatic breathing, or stop and make a list of 5 things I'm grateful for about my job. Sometimes I watch documentaries that help provide perspective on my job stress (I watched 'Devil's Miner' recently, and it's harder to complain about my job after seeing what kids in Bolivia do for work https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Devil%27s_Miner ).
Anyway, you're definitely not alone! Hope you can find some ways of feeling better soon.
OCD, if not purely obsessional, is better treated with Exposure/Response Prevention in the context of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, so you probably need a therapist. Having said that, if you want to address by yourself your issues, you may want to read The anxiety and phobia workbook.
Ditto what the others have said, but in addition you MUST nip that anxiety in the bud or it will consume you. Get this: http://www.amazon.com/Anxiety-Phobia-Workbook-Edmund-Bourne/dp/157224223X and work through it before you begin teaching.
As a teacher, you will have SO many responsibilities and troubles on your plate that you will need handeling stress perfected.
Would highly recommend a psycho-somatic technique that approaches “correcting” posture from both fronts. It’s called the Alexander Technique, and, while used more commonly by actors, singers, and performance artists, it offers a great toolkit for everything from how you stand to how you sit (and the transition between):
How You Stand, How You Move, How You Live: Learning the Alexander Technique to Explore Your Mind-Body Connection and Achieve Self-Mastery
The meat of the practice is visualization techniques through specific mental cues - not of the “chin up! back straight!” variety - but under the headings of “conscious inhibition” and “direction,” that are meant to not only improve posture and movement, but to break you out of conceptual ruts of how you imagine the very self that moves (much in the same way Betty Edwards’ book on drawing tries to make you “unsee” the bad symbolic representations of objects that have been conditioned in your mind).
I know this sounds like a bad, overlong “one weird trick” advert...but it really was thought-provoking info for me. The book I posted is a great introduction to the method, though they do recommend the best way to achieve mastery is through the aid of a hands-on teacher. That being said, if nothing else, the things it talks about does help to open up that ever sought after increase in creativity and lateral thinking.
Alexander Technique. I learned a lot from Missy Vineyard's book, [How You Stand...](https://www.amazon.com/How-You-Stand-Move-Live/dp/1600940064). I noticed results right away, and the more I practiced, the more profound the results became.
I also find meditation helpful. I've done a handful of different types of meditation. The most relaxing by far, for me, was loving kindness (metta). I used this simple YouTube video/audio from Emma Seppala.
Edited for formatting.
Pdf that might just be viruses: https://www.e-bookdownload.net/search/the-queer-and-transgender-resilience-workbook
Same Book for money: https://www.amazon.com/Queer-Transgender-Resilience-Workbook-Orientation/dp/1626259461
Second book on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Gender-Quest-Workbook-Exploring-Identity/dp/1626252971
Yes, waiting can be hard. It took 4 months to get into a gender therapist in Boston. It is worth it though. In the meantime there are some books that may help them to better understand their feelings and options. There are two workbooks that I read that were okay:
A Guide to Gender - The Social Justice Advocate's Handbook and the author is great and this Ted Talk he did is awesome.
Some others are:
Perhaps these will help them and even yourself find your answers.
Hey there, this is a really good question. There is a fine distinction between habitual complaining (unconscious) vs feeling your feelings (conscious processing). Habitual complaining goes on and on because it's unconscious. Consciously feeling your feelings allows them to be acknowledged and move through you. Here are a few ideas:
When a person has a reaction to something in their environment, there’s a 90 second chemical process that happens in the body; after that, any remaining emotional response is just the person choosing to stay in that emotional loop.
Something happens in the external world and chemicals are flushed through your body which puts it on full alert. For those chemicals to totally flush out of the body it takes less than 90 seconds.
This means that for 90 seconds you can watch the process happening, you can feel it happening, and then you can watch it go away.
After that, if you continue to feel fear, anger, and so on, you need to look at the thoughts that you’re thinking that are re-stimulating the circuitry that is resulting in you having this physiological response over and over again.
Consider that you don't have to behave in a certain way to deserve love and friendship. You are worthy as you are, right now today. We are all imperfect and struggle internally. I hope that's helpful. - Shannon
That's ok. Another book that's helped me in this area is The Revolutionary Trauma Release Process: Transcend Your Toughest Times https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1897238401/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_Q2o5BbHVM9P8T
The book tells you how to release the tension from your muscles and fascia using some basic exercises that uses shaking. Weird I know, but if you read the book it makes sense.
Let me know if I can help with any more information.
I bought a book on amazon. Paperback is $14, kindle version $10.
http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1897238401/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?qid=1395733660&amp;sr=8-3&amp;pi=SY200_QL40
That sounds like a great idea. I did the same, I got Marsha Linehan’s DBT workbook and did it with my therapist. I also found this day planner to be so useful in my early sobriety to track my moods and keep myself on track.
Edit: DBT is a type of therapy that was made to use with borderline personality disorder, which I don’t have. But I still found it super useful for my diagnoses even though it wasn’t specific to that.
I too am an android user, and have not found any dbt related apps that have kept my attention. The only mental health apps that have helped have been for general CBT techniques :(
For now I use this planner which is cool but you know, not digital. If you find a good one please update your post or comment!
I have both of these:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/1572245131/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o07_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1
https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/1936268868/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o05_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1
The diary is really good for keeping track of how I feel and keeping healthy. The workbook is great for more in-depth work when I have time, I've learnt a lot from it.
Feel like I should say this obviously is no replacement for actual DBT. Unfortunately it isn't offered on the NHS where I live!
Here's some info on CBT and other treatment. I also found this book to be helpful, along with this workbook. :)
Man, that's the kicker, isn't it? I think that's one of the most difficult things to do, especially when you don't understand exactly what's going on yourself.
It helps if you can find a doctor who is an expert in ADHD, especially in adults (which presents differently than in children, and differently in women than men). They know what to look for that isn't as well known and are less likely than a general practitioner to pass it off as someone else. They should actually administer a series of questionnaires to help diagnose you. With kids they often have ones for teachers or parents as well. I'm not sure how they handle that with adults.
Remember ADHD is like a lot of spectrum disorders in that there are a lot of symptoms and not everyone gets all of them (in our case probably only most of them) and what you do get varies in severity (and that itself can change over time).
If you haven't, I suggest finding a list (or lists) from reputable medical sources of ADHD symptoms, print it out, mark the ones that qualify and take it with you to your appointment. Be ready to talk about each one and things like how frequently it's a problem, anything you notice that might trigger it and how it's affecting your life. Not all symptoms happen all at once, so maybe give it a couple weeks working on the list until you feel like maybe everything is covered. Take notes about all with you if you feel like it'll help. Maybe even keep a dated diary with notes about symptoms each day. It'll help legitimize your claims.
It's possible if you're asking for adderall or stimulants specifically, that's part of why you're getting brushed off as just drug hunting. It is a problem but some doctors are worse about not paying attention than others. Do some research into non-stimulants (which like I said if you've got anxiety might be a better choice anyway - I've done both - and guanfacine has been my lifesaver) and bring that up and it might make you seem more genuine.
And maybe I'm totally wrong here and nobody string me up, but perhaps don't mention the PTSD right away, especially since so many doctors are focusing on that. While it's important to disclose stuff like that to your doctor, and it's possible it's triggering anxiety that's making your ADHD worse, it's a separate thing entirely caused my trauma and not and not from biological factors, therefore I think for the sake of proper diagnosis, not incredibly relevant.
Once you are diagnosed, getting a good therapist really does help. I put that off for way too long. Mine is an expert in ADHD (and actually has it himself, though he didn't drop that bomb on me until I'd actually been seeing him for like 9 months). He's been great about helping me feel like diagnosis is valid, helping me understand what's going on (including things I never knew were symptoms or caused by symptoms) and suggesting coping mechanisms to help me deal with it in addition to medication. I'm in my 30s now and was diagnosed in college, and I just started seeing mine about a year and a half ago. In hindsight I should have done it sooooo much sooner.
And I've not actually read it, but I've heard good things about this: https://www.amazon.com/You-Mean-Lazy-Stupid-Crazy-ebook/dp/B003719FSW
Hope that helps.
First, can you drop a class? That's the primary source of your stress. Check and see if your school has a student health center or counselors. They are a great resource for teaching stress management skills like mindfulness, meditation, and cognitive therapy, and they are often free.
Different strategies work for different people and personalities. Since I don't know your exact situation and personality, I can tell you things that I do for myself.
Make time for yourself to unwind. Don't study all day, every day. It won't make your grades better, trust me. Study hard, but give yourself breaks and a set time to close the books and call it quits for the day. Then do something enjoyable. Take a walk, call/hang out with a friend, watch some Netflix, find a dog and pet it. Don't guilt yourself for not studying.
Make sleep a priority Seriously, don't stay up late studying or pulling all nighters. You don't study well or remember things when you are tired. And sleep is essential for giving your body time to recover from the day and it's stresses. I found my grades and mood improved when I got a full night's sleep, even when it meant giving up an extra hour or two of study.
Check what your body is doing when you feel stressed. Are you holding your breath? Clenching your muscles? Relax and take long, deep breathes and relax your jaw and fists. This helps signal your body that you are not in mortal, physical danger and it can stop the flight or fight response that triggers the release of cortisol.
Give yourself permission to not have perfect grades. I don't know if you are a type A perfectionist, but I sure am. I was convinced I had to had perfect grades or my future would be adversely affected. Truth is, most employers don't care what your GPA is, they don't even ask. They don't care that you were summa cum laude or whatever, it looks nice on a resume and stuff, but that's about it. They are more concerned with how well you would work with other people, that you have a degree in whatever field you are seeing work in, and are trainable. It's ok to have a B or C every once in a while. Don't lose sleep over it and don't beat yourself up over it.
These are just a few out of many things to help your stress. Stress management is a skill that can be learned and practiced, and in my opinion ought to be taught in every high school and college. These things helped me get through an accelerated nursing program with my sanity intact and good grades to boot.
I would also recommend the book "Why Zebras Don't Get Ulcers" (I'm aware of irony of me adding more reading to your already rigorous course load, lol!)
Anyway I'm curious to see how this works for you! Give me an update sometime and let me know if you have any questions!
Mostly commenting here in case someone else comes along with a more proper answer...
I'm assuming you're asking for literature, as in the studies he's citing as he goes along, etc. I don't have that, but you can probably get a lot of them from looking at the "textbooks" for the class. In the first lecture, he mentions these 2 books as essentially the "textbooks" for the course:
Why Zebras Don't Get Ulcers, Robert Sapolsky
Chaos: Making a New Science, James Gleick
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Later on, he also brings up Stephen Wolfram's A New Kind of Science
And since that lecture series was done, in 2017, Sapolsky published a book, Behave: The Biology of Humans at Our Best and Worst, which has TONS of overlap with the lecture series. He doesn't go into the same exact stuff, especially in the later chapters versus the later lectures, but he follows the exact same pattern of explaining the biology of human behaviors. He even tells a lot of the same stories and personal insights.
It wouldn't surprise me if the vast majority of the literature he cites in the lectures are all referenced across those books, too, so it would be a totally valuable avenue to dig in on. I haven't personally read through the first two all the way yet (I'm about halfway through Zebras right now). Behave is worth reading in addition to the lectures, despite the huge overlap, imho, and probably lists most of the same studies he cites in its Notes section.
I can empathize with having a severe and debilitating fear, because I have been there. Also like you, I am badly psychosomatic and this is something I still struggle with daily. I have had various health issues/focuses since I was young but the past few years have by far been the worst. I won't go into detail on what my problem is, but know that I also fear an undiagnosed or missed medical condition that may kill me suddenly. I too have been to the doctor, ER, and urgent care multiple times. And I too have been told there is nothing wrong with me.
These are the things I have done to try and help myself.
You may have already tried all of these things without success, but I would give them another shot if you have. I felt hopeless, like you. There were days I feared even leaving my bed. I'm in graduate school, as I believe you are as well, and I know that we are both under a lot of stress and the expectations are high.
We have over-analytical minds, which help and hurt us. I hope that this is helpful for you and please reach out to me if you ever need advice, need to vent, or just want to talk.
Best wishes my friend.
Why Zebras don't get Ulcers
https://www.amazon.com.br/dp/B0037NX018/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&amp;btkr=1
This is very much my experience. My current partner has very similar ADHD presentation to me and every time one of us forgets something or derails a conversation or
takes 3 tries to leave the house there's no shame or disappointment, it's either commiseration and affirmation, or even a kind of celebration of how much we are on the same wavelength. Kind of the opposite of you I guess, most of my friends do not have ADHD and I can see them get annoyed with the roundabout way I tell stories and how I constantly interrupt (getting that under control slowly I think).
Have you brought up this concern with your girlfriend? I mean obviously I wouldn't frame it as "my friends get me better than you," but more of a "sometimes I feel misunderstood when it comes to my ADHD" might motivate her to try to see things more from your perspective. This book is also a really good resource.
Full Catastrophe Living by Jon Kabat-Zinn has helped me enormously.