Christmas Tree Beard Kit

Turn yourself into a moveable Christmas tree with this kit. Pop the box open and you’ll find everything you need for the ultimate festive facial fuzz transformation. Except for maybe an angel headpiece. Comb in a slick of green shimmer, clip on the lightweight baubles, and people will be hanging decorations off your face in no time. Gone are the days of gluing individual pine needles to your stubble! Not that you or anybody else ever did that, because you’re not insane. When you’re done, you’ll look good enough to put in the corner to slowly wilt until January when you’ll get put out on the street.