Top products from r/AmItheAsshole

We found 83 product mentions on r/AmItheAsshole. We ranked the 669 resulting products by number of redditors who mentioned them. Here are the top 20.

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Top comments that mention products on r/AmItheAsshole:

u/[deleted] · 8 pointsr/AmItheAsshole


Man, I gotta say, my heart breaks for you. I am so sorry for the unnecessary pain you've burdened, not only as a kid but as an adult. Also, I'm so sorry about your step-mom, you've really been dealth a shitty hand.

Honestly, you should seek therapy to discuss your childhood. While the normal person would react with rage against biomom, you seem to have gone the opposite direction. Not only are you not cutting her from your life, it seems like you're trying to sell her on being a grandmother.

Your mom is emotionally manipulating you. She's not talking to you because she wants to control you by withholding love and affection, that is if she's even capable of showing love.

You need to cut her out completely. If there is to be reconciliation, it needs to start with her. SHE should be the one hopping on a plane to visit her son and grandchildren. SHE is the one who should come crawling back to you for forgiveness. SHE should be showing up at YOUR doorstep.

I'm worried about you. You're holding on to this hope that you can convince your mom to be in your life. You can't make her do that, she made her choice when she walked out on you the first time. You need to accept the fact that your mom is never going to be the parent you need her to be. You need to mourn that loss, and you need to talk to someone who can guide you through the healing process.

I want to first recommend you pick up a copy of "No More Mister Nice Guy" by Robert Glover. This is the best guide for teaching men to overcome emotional manipulation and growing past the failures of their parents. I think you'll find a lot of wisdom in the book and quite a few times you'll feel like Glover is narrating your life.

Additionally, I'd like to pray for you as you start this healing process. Despite the failures of your biomom, I do believe you have a heavenly parent who will reciprocate back the love you're trying to give someone else.

All the best and good luck.

u/kt-bug17 · 4 pointsr/AmItheAsshole

I’m really sorry for what he’s put you through. You didn’t deserve to be lied to or disrespected. He definately left out A LOT of context by excluding his history of bad finacial choices.

I know this isn’t /r/ relationships but I’m going to give you the same advice that I’ve given to people over there: Date someone for who they are right now, not for who you hope they’ll turn into one day. Most people don’t make major changes in lifestyle, personality, or behavior. People only make big changes if they genuinly want to make a change for themsleves. They certainly don’t change just because someone else wants them to, not even a significant other. In other words: Don’t date a project!

If being more financially responsible and being honest was a priority for him than he would have taken steps to do those things by now. He hasn’t because they’re not priorities for him. And if he comes to you with promises of change now that you’ve broken up with him I can’t tell you wether or not they’re ones he’ll follow through on. You know him best. But don’t be surprised if you take him back and after a few weeks/months he gets comfortable and goes back to his previous behaviors.

> But I'm a total giver. ... I will buy them whatever they need. I love them. I help bc I don't want people to ever feel like I felt when I was a kid. This is a personality flaw. My ex owes me $1k, etc. I'm a sucker.

It sounds like you need to learn how to set and maintain boundaries with other people when it comes to money. Generosity is a virtue, but if you are being so generous that you are enabling other poor financial choices to the point thah its hurting your finances or mental/emotional wellbeing then it crosses the line into a problem. And yes, you were eneabling your BF, just like his mom does, by loaning him money whenever he runs out.

You need to learn how to say no to people- being a kind, generous person does not mean being a doormat. I’d encourage you to look into a few theraphy sessions to go over this issue (though I totally understand that not everyone can afford that). If that’s not an option the book Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No To Take Control of Your Life and it’s companion workbook are good reads (it has some religious undertones but the lessons on setting boundaries can apply to anyone).

Tynap- you sound like a kind, honest, hardworking, responsible woman who has her life together. Don’t sell yourself short by settling for a life partner who doesn’t live up to the standards you hold yourself to.

u/broadzillajones · 2 pointsr/AmItheAsshole

NTA. Forgiveness takes time. The best thing for her to do would have been to apologize for how she treated you, explained her recent diagnosis, and express how she hopes that you could one day forgive her. But it doesn’t sound like she’s far enough along in her treatment to recognize this.

The only way I would ever consider you to be an asshole in this situation would be if you were now going around telling everyone and talking shit. “The crazy bitch really was crazy!” You know? But it really doesn’t sound like that is the kind of person you are.

You were definitely a victim in this and you deserve to be happy. Actions speak louder than words and it’s up to her to try to better herself.

If you ever find yourself in a similar situation I recommend reading Stop Walking on Eggshells. You can’t give into a persons demands just because they have a mental illness. Not only will it encourage their poor behavior, but it’s also not fair to you to feel as though you need to endure the abuse just because they ‘can’t help it.’

I hope she takes her diagnosis seriously and puts in the work needed to live a happy and healthy life. I’m also incredibly happy you are able to see your self worth and walk away from a toxic relationship. You deserve to be happy. Wishing you both the best.

u/Fey_fox · 2 pointsr/AmItheAsshole

YTA, but well intentioned.

In the comments you said you’ve been gentle and supportive in the past. It’s hard to watch someone you care about stay and return to an abusive relationship, and I get why you snapped.

Sometimes the best way we can be a friend is to be straight with them. How you spoke to her was harsh and could have been better worded. However I don’t think you were wrong in calling her out and pointing out she was repeating an abusive pattern.

I would strongly recommend you get this book for yourself and one for your friend. Lots of very smart people get sucked into abusive relationships. It can happen to anybody, because it doesn’t happen overnight. People who abuse can be loving, charming, kind at times. If a person only caused pain nobody would be with them. By learning how to recognize red flags early and by listening to our instincts we can better protect ourselves.

You can call people out without putting them down. I think you should apologize for calling her stupid, but stick to your guns about how you feel and how you’ve seen this happen far too often. Sometimes we gotta be the canary in the coal mine for the people we love.

Good luck

u/Skippyilove · 1 pointr/AmItheAsshole

NTA from what I've read here.

A few comments.
> I feel really bad but I really don't have any other solution for this

you can truly turn temporary defeat or negative circumstances into opportunities of an equivalent benefit with enough inventiveness.

> given how she surprised me with this trip out of nowhere, I don't even know what to do....

you can find books on subjects like this. not to offend but Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents might be worth a read, and in all earnest I might need it more.

anyhow, you're NTA but it's probably also important to recognize that this loomed enormous in her life given she was in a rehab facility, she was probably scheming of ways to connect.

"It's harder to be kind than to be clever" is something Jeff Bezos, the richest man alive cited as a defining piece of advice given to him in his life. I think it's true, and it's especially true of children with troubled parents.

u/ErkyFolkor · -1 pointsr/AmItheAsshole

NAH - pregnancy is hard for everyone involved. I spent many nights sleeping in on the edge of our full sized bed during our first pregnancy, but it didn't adversely effect my sleep so it's not fair to judge. If you can't sleep like that then it's perfectly fine to sleep on the couch, but you should still cuddle and spend time with your partner.
The vomiting is another issue. She's past her first trimester, so it should be getting better, but there are some things you can do to help prevent it. B-6 and doxylamine work for my wife. Also, they make bags that are easier to throw up in and can be kept in convenient locations. 50 Pack Emesis Bag, Disposable Vomit Bags, Aircraft & Car Sickness Bag, Nausea Bags for Travel Motion Sickness

u/jaimedieuetilmaime · 1 pointr/AmItheAsshole

I don't think you're an asshole at all—you modified plans quite a bit to accommodate their needs even when it seriously inconvenienced you. But you desperately need to set up more defined boundaries, because you're letting yourself get walked all over. To me, these people have shown that they are not good friends to you: they are selfish and unthinking, and they're unwilling to compromise or admit that they were wrong. Tim in particular really grates on me, because he didn't apologize in the slightest for your inconvenience. You deserve friends who are excited to spend time with you, and who are willing to compromise. In an ideal world, friendships are reciprocal: both parties are equally invested and equally supportive to one another.

In this situation in particular, though, you are not going to get an apology. Tim doesn't think he did anything wrong, and seems to have had the intention of changing the plans when he first agreed to them (maliciously disingenuous). I suggest that you to cut all ties with Tim and his fiancée if you can, because this inclination to deceive (and use) you is likely to get worse. You may be able to keep a casual acquaintanceship with them if you really want to, but I don't see that they're acting like your friends at all.

Back to the boundaries for this particular situation: when you begin making plans that you don't feel comfortable with (or when you're conceding out of obligation instead of joy), that needs to be your limit. Whether that was when he wasn't willing to discuss a shorter trip (what my limit would've been), or if it was when he said they'd leave to pick you up around 10pm (what it sounds like your breaking point was), that was the time to make a choice: either you drive separately, and you can stay one night (they do their own thing, and y'all just meet up for dinner/ the concert); you cancel the trip; or offer to go together in the morning and stay afterward. When you conceded to their plan, you gave of your time and your mental health, but you gave under compulsion and not joy. That breaking of boundary is your responsibility—it's only healthy to give what you can, even if someone asks for more (because there will always be selfish people). Your boundaries are yours to take care of, and when you make compromises like this situation, it's harmful to everyone involved and to your relationship.

If you want to be more intentional with your boundaries, I strongly recommend this book.

u/tyronnebiggums_1 · 1 pointr/AmItheAsshole

Kick her ass out. It's your house, and you have every right to say who can and cannot stay in your home. Additionally, I feel like you need to set clear boundaries with your sister, for some reason she feels like she has the power to tell you what to do in your house. I recommend this book, it deals with boundaries around family relationships:, best of luck friend.

u/madmaxturbator · 618 pointsr/AmItheAsshole

did you put these in there?

you're obviously the NTA here. legally you might actually get into trouble at least here in the US? I am not sure.

but fuck that, this douche bag grabbed TWENTY of your nerds to guzzle down? it's a good lesson for all your stupid friends to not grab stuff without asking first.

I am consistently generous with friends - I will happily give away my sandwich at lunch if a buddy's hungry. but if you paw at it, or take it without my permission then fuck off.

u/randomwtf2 · 26 pointsr/AmItheAsshole

You absolutely lock your door every single time and just flat out tell her "I'm locking my door. This is not negotiable."

In addition to locking your door, get a few other things:

u/lsingsank · 3 pointsr/AmItheAsshole

Unfortunately I’m not too familiar with them, but looks like amazon has a fairly cheap one that works for all sizes:

Yeah it seems like she’s crazy wasteful, I’d suggest getting ready for a confrontation (before installing the fridge lock if you’re up to it, otherwise she’s likely to bring it up afterwards). She sounds like a huge mooch

u/strawberrypockystix · -1 pointsr/AmItheAsshole

My bf used a book called “Training the Best Dog Ever” to train his dog, and he said it was an excellent book.

u/Slammogram · 1 pointr/AmItheAsshole

I wanna add! Buy emesis bags! Like in the hospital! They’re awesome!!!

50 Pack Emesis Bag, Disposable Vomit Bags, Aircraft & Car Sickness Bag, Nausea Bags for Travel Motion Sickness

Added: have youse tried Zofran?

u/FewReturn2sunlitLand · 1 pointr/AmItheAsshole

I know what you mean. I grew up with two brothers and I found out that they were eating ice cream every day after school and that's why we never had ice cream left for family nights. I started doing the same thing because it was the only way I could get something approaching an equal share. My poor mom had to buy separate sweets for herself that were strictly off limits to the rest of us. Luckily, in our family, leftovers and things bought with your own money and properly claimed were respected, so I started doing the same thing when I got a job.

You need one of these until your husband can learn his lesson.

u/staticthreat · 1 pointr/AmItheAsshole

Flip the bagel sideways on cutting board or plate, pinch the top positioned part with your thumb and index finger, insert knife in space between fingers and carefully slice downwards through the bagel. Poof sliced bagel!🥯

You can always slice a bagel for him the night before to avoid any further issues.

Is there a possibility the original bagel slicer wasn't good enough? There are many items with excellent reviews on Amazon.

u/Zombiewski · 1 pointr/AmItheAsshole

What is it about weddings that makes people into such entitled assholes?

You're NTA, OP, in the strongest possible terms.

My mom did the exact same thing, down to the literal tantrum, before my wedding, and I wish I'd put my foot down and stuck with my original "no". It's tough, because it is just a day, and having my cousin there didn't ruin my wedding or my memories of it, but my mom's behavior certainly tainted the day and our relationship from that point on.

Your mom's not going to change, and you have to decide if this is the hill you want to die on, but you are most assuredly NTA if you go through with it.

(This book helped me a lot. You may want to check out r/raisedbynarcissists as well for coping strategies.)

u/melonlollicholypop · 1 pointr/AmItheAsshole

Definitely not the asshole.

Please read this book: The Gift of Fear

u/JeanGreg · 4 pointsr/AmItheAsshole

Yes, like some of these...
50 Pack Emesis Bag, Disposable Vomit Bags, Aircraft & Car Sickness Bag, Nausea Bags for Travel Motion Sickness

u/jencurry · 3 pointsr/AmItheAsshole

Based on your previous post, I sort of suspected that your MIL has borderline personality disorder. These stories fit the pattern perfectly. I’m not a mental health professional, but I grew up with a parent with BPD and have been working through this for years (usually with the help of a therapist).

If I’m correct, this is not about who is the asshole and who isn’t — it’s a mental illness. Take a look at this book, and if it rings true to you at all, give it to your husband:

u/firenoodles · 2 pointsr/AmItheAsshole

Have HIM purchase the groceries. Purchase your own groceries and keep a lock box if you must to separate the "good stuff" from the cheap foods.

Btw, NTA.

He's acting very selfish and hogging the food. It's not "first come, first served" in a household or a loving relationship. My boyfriend tries to make sure I have the bigger pork chop, and I always give him extra steak. You ideally want a partner that wants more for you, not less.

Idk. Not saying break up but try the fridge lock and the separate groceries for a bit.

u/solo954 · 7 pointsr/AmItheAsshole

Unfortunately, it's not gonna stick. I read a good book recently, Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents and one of the take-aways for me is that my parents are not going to change, and expecting them to will invariably lead to disappointment (best case) or me experiencing more toxic behaviour (worst case).

I have maintained a marginal relationship with my parents, haven't cut them off completely, but whenever I talk to them now, I never expect them to be better than they are.

u/literal-hitler · 261 pointsr/AmItheAsshole

Just so you know, you can cut off amazon links after the /dp/###### part

You can even remove the description line, if you really decide to care.

u/dogGirl666 · 5 pointsr/AmItheAsshole

> such a thing as gut instinct

I think the book The Gift Of Fear goes over this.

u/ElvisQuinn · -18 pointsr/AmItheAsshole

EAH. She’s pregnant and you’re getting butt hurt that she doesn’t give you enough room in the bed. She found a pillow that makes her comfortable enough to sleep- that’s awesome, a lot of pregnant women are unable to. I’m sure you two can find a temporary solution where you both can sleep during pregnancy. You sleeping on the couch doesn’t have to be reactive to a fight- it can just be that you both are honoring that sleep is important for both of you. As far as her puking goes, she should of figured out a way to not vomit everywhere by now. I know it’s tricky with pregnancy bc it’s uncertain when the continuous nausea will actually lead to vomiting, it can escalate so fast. I recommend getting emesis bags- you put them right up to your mouth, so she can’t miss, and you can leave them all over the house, so she really can’t miss.

u/00Lisa00 · 573 pointsr/AmItheAsshole

NTA but You can get around this two ways. Replace the whole knob with a locking one. Keep the old one and put it back when you leave. Or even easier buy a rubber wedge and put it under the door. Shepherd Hardware 9133 Heavy Duty Rubber Door Wedge, Brown $3.49 problem solved.

u/crazybunny19 · 2 pointsr/AmItheAsshole

NTA. These are some serious red flags. He's reckless, rude, and he doesn't care about you (or anyone else). He doesn't care about your safety or comfort. I was with a narcissist for 24 years, and while I don't know enough about him to say for sure, he certainly fits the bill. He treats you like shit. There is no way you can word any suggestion, let alone a complaint, that won't piss him off. I highly recommend you read this book. I'm betting you will see a lot of similarities to your husband. I can also hook you up with some support groups if you're interested. Shoot me a message if you want.

u/CommentingUser1488 · 2 pointsr/AmItheAsshole

It's one of these:

You just kinda set it up and let it do its thing. My neighbors, when they do have their dogs out late, give them a collar that I believe shocks them when they bark. They go around growling which I can still hear to a lesser degree but I find that less of a humane solution than the birdhouse

u/NotARobot-IPromise · 2 pointsr/AmItheAsshole

NTA. His behaviour is very concerning to me. I feel like it might be a good time to look for a new place to live.

In the mean time, you might want to consider getting a doorstop (a rubber wedge that you wedge under the door, like this:

They’re meant to keep doors open, rather than closed, but they’re very inexpensive, no installation (beyond shoving it under the door each night) is required, and I think it might make it harder for your (very creepy) roommate to barge in.

u/dozer14328703 · 1 pointr/AmItheAsshole

We use these in our hospital. I've used these and they work. It's also small enough to fit in a pocket/purse. NAH. Not everyone can handle bodily fluids. 50 Pack Emesis Bag, Disposable Vomit Bags, Aircraft & Car Sickness Bag, Nausea Bags for Travel Motion Sickness

u/chupacabrette · 33 pointsr/AmItheAsshole

You can also eliminate the url altogether. Put what ever text you want in brackets in front of the url info, then parentheses around the link:
[amazon link](url address)
amazon link

u/Savhbelle · 1 pointr/AmItheAsshole

NTA. But as a preemptive measure, you may want to check into getting some of these:

u/OneTwoWee000 · 1 pointr/AmItheAsshole

Get a door stopper to prevent the door from opening when you are within your space.


u/HillPeople2017 · 4 pointsr/AmItheAsshole

I used these for car rides during the first half if my pregnancies...

50 Pack Emesis Bag, Disposable Vomit Bags, Aircraft & Car Sickness Bag, Nausea Bags for Travel Motion Sickness

u/bklynpeter · -7 pointsr/AmItheAsshole

ESH Lifetime Brands Hoan Bagel Guillotine Slicer, White , 9.25" x 7.00" x 3.88" - 5086739

u/bobaimee · 5 pointsr/AmItheAsshole

This is very cheap and very hard to get through

Shepherd Hardware 9133 Heavy Duty Rubber Door Wedge, Brown

u/Euro-Canuck · -28 pointsr/AmItheAsshole

OMFG this has to be the single stupided AITA iv seen yet... go on fucking amazon and buy him a bagel slicer. YTA or more accuratly YT-Moron for not thinking of this instead of pissing him off and not buying bagels.

u/Desert_Fairy · 1 pointr/AmItheAsshole

Adulthood means putting up with shitty room mates.


But this might help

Lockabox One | Compact and hygienic Lockable Box for Food, Medicines and Home Safety

u/Captain_Shoe · 2 pointsr/AmItheAsshole

NTA. Also, get a portable travel door lock. No swapping door handles required, and not too pricey.

u/Jovet_Hunter · 8 pointsr/AmItheAsshole

NTA And the fact that they are acting like such spoiled, entitled little brats is all the proof you need they’ve been stealing. You may want to look into getting a couple of these. When they complain, just let them know you don’t think you can work a combo in your sleep so this should fix the issue.

u/ralphonsob · 1 pointr/AmItheAsshole

ESH, but you could have worked around the problem for $19.95.

u/ClassyFarts · 34 pointsr/AmItheAsshole

Angry and controlling men seem to think that there is no way they can be abusive if they don't physically hurt their wife.


Wish I could give your wife this book.

u/sixtyearths · 3 pointsr/AmItheAsshole

Yes, you were.

> I got pissed off at them and

Stop blaming your hateful and harassing decisions on anger. You made the choice to do this and you should own it.

> User then goes into a mental breakdown and

How dare you harass someone for days and blame their mental state when they take action to remove you from their life. You are abusive and your actions are straight out of the abuser's playbook.

> I genuinely didn't see myself as one

You still don't see it. See yourself for how you are before you seriously damage someone in your life.