(Part 2) Top products from r/Anxiety

Hi there! I have been living with anxiety and OCD for as long as I can remember, and in more recent years depression has come onto the scene as well. It's hard to give situation-specific advice since you didn't provide information about your particular brand of anxiety (like triggers, frequency of panic attacks, etc.), but I can break down what I have found works for me. I hope my experience with combating anxiety will be useful to you!

• Tip No. 1: If your anxiety is severe enough to affect or impair your daily functioning (for example, your ability to work or school, have healthy relationships, and basically make it through the day in a bearable way), get help. There is assistance available even for those who are uninsured or financially strapped, especially in metropolitan areas.
  
  
• Tip No. 2: Therapy has honestly been the most beneficial and effective part of my treatment. I would even go so far as to recommend it without reservation to anyone suffering from anxiety, especially if their symptoms are on the milder end of the spectrum. I strongly believe that therapy should be the primary line of defense in combating anxiety. That's right, I said it, not medication. Of course there are exceptions to this rule of mine, such as in crisis situations (following a suicide attempt, hospitalization for a severe panic attack, etc.), but in my opinion, many people tend to jump straight to medication before exploring other options and then find themselves disappointed with often lackluster results. As a bit of a caveat, sometimes it does take time to find a skilled therapist that you can trust and connect with. This may be especially difficult with social anxiety or if you have had a bad experience with therapy in the past. Keep at it. It'll more than likely be worth it in the end.
  
  
• Tip No. 3: If therapy alone is not enough, medication prescribed by a mental healthcare professional is a valid option. In my experience with friends and such who received psychiatric medications from their primary care physicians, the results were often mixed or negative. The simple fact is that while PCPs are great for lots of other health concerns, the mind is not their area of expertise. A psychiatrist, psychiatric nurse practitioner, or psychologist (in states where they can prescribe) is much better equipped to recommend, adjust, and switch medications when necessary than your average general practitioner of medicine. And just like finding the right therapist, finding the right medication often takes patience and persistence. If you have specific questions about medications (I have been on several SSRIs and mood stabilizers in the past), feel free to ask away. And finally, don't expect medication to fix everything. It won't. I know that might seem obvious, but I've seen a lot of people stop taking medication when they shouldn't have just because their life wasn't immediately fixed. At their best, meds just make life easier to confront, not easier to live.
  
  
• Tip No. 4: Something that has been unexpectedly helpful in combating my own anxiety is doing lots of research about literally everything that scares or concerns me. It started when I was first prescribed medication and I was afraid of side effects, so I went online and started reading up on them. Yes, there were horror stories, but the majority of people don't spontaneously combust on antidepressants, and that made me feel better. From there, I started researching my phobias, like flying. Just knowing the mechanics and realistic risks of things that cause you anxiety is often enough to put mild anxiety to rest.
  
  
• Tip No. 5: Books like this can sometimes be useful for learning techniques to quell anxiety, such as thought stopping (a personal favorite of mine) and other relaxation techniques. They're especially great in times when you can't see a professional for whatever reason, because they're designed to model therapeutic techniques.
  
  Sorry for writing you a bit of a novel, but I wanted to make sure that I covered everything and explained myself well. Also, please note that I left off a lot of other techniques that are highly effective for many people (such as mediation/prayer) because I personally have not had success with them. That obviously doesn't mean you shouldn't explore them, in fact, I encourage you to. Everyone is different. I hope that what I have learned thus far in working through anxiety is useful to you.

So I took an Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction class, which are offered at a lot of colleges, psychiatry clinics, etc. throughout the U.S. And to be honest, I'm not sure if I would have been able and motivated to learn on my own, but I think some people are capable of doing that. If you want to try it on your own, the book I received as a part of taking the class is here on Amazon for $16.31, and it comes with a CD of guided meditations including three body scan meditations of various lengths (15, 30, & 45 minute versions.) However, I wouldn't be surprised if you could find free body scan guided meditations on youtube, although I'm always wary of freebies for starters because you can't always be sure the qualifications of the teacher. Both of the authors are PhD's. The workbook sets up a good structure for learning by yourself, but I think I needed the class to feel held accountable for practicing, and make me feel like I was "doing it right." Which you later learn is sort of a silly thought, because there's really no right or wrong way to do it except to let it happen... I know that probably sounds weird, but I'm sorry I can't elaborate more, I'm still learning myself.

I hope that answers your question. I wish I could send you the mp3 of one of the guided meditations to test the waters, but my computer with the file is broken.

I promise I'm not paid to say any of this, by the way. When I was first looking for something to help me, I was worried about people claiming viable treatment who were really just preying on those desperate to get help. Which are the worst sort of snake-oil-peddling jerks...

If you have any more questions, you can pm me and I'll answer to the best of my ability. I hope you give it or something like it a try :)

YES, you absolutely can. I developed anxiety around the same age as you, and had no access to real therapy either. It was sink or swim - I could either stay like it, or find a way to help myself. It took time for me to actually come to the conclusion that helping myself was even possible, but I did, and it paid off. I now rarely, if ever, have panic attacks, and I'm generally much more resilient to stress and uncertainty.

What I did will most likely sound too simple and perhaps unrealistic, but hear me out. I bought a Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) book. It basically became my bible. I read it all, took notes, did exercises, and followed it down to the letter. It was difficult, and it took time - but I began seeing an improvement after about 2-3 months. After about 9 months - 1 year, I was a different person. I was helped by it so much that I recommended it to my SO, who has OCD, and he's way better for it now as well. Once you learn the techniques, you can use them at any time, and for almost any kind of anxiety/stress/fear.

My father has always had a 'if I can't get someone else to do it, I'll learn it myself' attitude, and I suppose that was what I was doing. I wanted to be my OWN therapist, so I could be fully self-sufficient again. Due to various family issues/history, I was absolutely against taking medication (which my doctor did offer me, immediately, having had only ONE panic attack...that alone disturbed me enough to make me want to go it alone). The self-help approach suited me as I'm quite studious and self-motivated, and am generally interested in psychology, so reading the book was fun as well as beneficial. If that sounds anything like you, you'd probably get on well with it.

(This is the book I used - there are lots on the market now though: http://www.amazon.com/Cognitive-Behavioral-Therapy-Teach-Yourself/dp/1444170295)

Anxiety, for most people, is not an incurable problem. Specific disorders can be, and some types of fear can be very hard to shake, but from what you describe, that isn't you. You're aware of what's happening, you've looked into your options, and you're being pro-active about it. Those are all really good things :) And, while giving yourself time to get better hasn't worked out how you wanted it to, it's also encouraging that you allowed yourself the time in the first place. A lot of people try to push themselves through anxiety to the point where they really get ill, but you've taken care of yourself. Aside from CBT, I think self-care, being kind to yourself, is one of the best things you can immediately do to help things - both physically and mentally. If not telling your mum allows you to do this more easily, then it's not essential to rock the boat right now. You might want to at another time, or maybe if you feel you need support.

One last thing - panic attacks are scary, but they can't actually hurt you. They are nothing you can't handle - you already have handled them, and are still standing. It feels like you're in danger, I know, but it's important not to fear having them. Being afraid of panic is basically being afraid of fear itself, and that gets you in a bit of a pickle. Creating a mantra can be helpful (mine is 'everything is temporary', but whatever calms you is fine). I also have a breathing exercise that I find easiest to do when panicking - it's basically to just make myself exhale for as long as I can. No counting, no concentration necessary, you just breathe out for longer than you breathe in. A doctor told me it breaks the cycle of hyperventilation. I hope that helps you :)

The longer you live, the more people you'll meet who feel the same way. It's always chance encounters, too- neither of you want to open up for fear of looking stupid but once you do you both feel tremendously relieved that you share the same concerns. A lot of this will be abundantly clear after high school when you look back and take a broader view of things.

Don't worry too much about relationships. Everyone develops at a different pace and not always consistently in all areas. Just remember- douchey, unlikable people don't have the gift of self-reflection. If you feel self conscious, you're doing things right. :) Others will like you too. And girls your age (with their own myriad internal problems) will likely relate to your anxiety more than you know.

If you have time over the summer take a look at the book The Introvert Advantage. It eased my mind before I understood myself.

It's been well over a decade since I was in your place so I'm sure I've forgotten a lot of what it was like, but take heart- you're doing well.

I've been going to counseling for several years and been through several therapists. It's hard to find a good fit. It should be a good balance of you talking about your everyday and long term problems and your therapist offering ideas and solutions to them.

I also see a psychiatrist as therapists can't prescribe medication. I take Xanax for panic attacks and have GAD. I'm currently on my 4th doctor as well. They should be trying different medications if you're having undesirable side effects. A lot of them should be stopped gradually.

And while I understand about not wanting to be on medication some people need it. When functioning on a day to day basis becomes too difficult it becomes harder to treat your problems at the source. Especially if you are just struggling to get through your day one hour at a time.

Please don't give up on your behavior professionals. Keep searching until you find a good one and they can recommend others.

I don't know how much you like reading but even before my first counseling appointment they suggested a book which helped me quite a lot. Relaxation and Stress reduction workbook and since then I found Feeling Good Just do yourself a favor if you do decide to buy them and not get workbooks on your Kindle. Much easier to copy pages than print screenshots.

Hope it helps and best of luck to you :)

Ok, I've found some great stuff. The first two articles are fantastic. I haven't read the book, but it's got great reviews and seems to be a good resource. The other two are good as well, but the first two really hit the nail on the head:

1. When Someone You Love Has Anxiety
   
2. The Things I Learned About Anxiety - That Only People With Anxiety Could Teach Me
   
   
3. Loving Someone With Anxiety - Understanding and Helping Your Partner
   
   
4. 10 Things you Should Know If Your Partner Has Anxiety
   
   
5. Anxiety and Depression Association of America - Spouse or Partner
   
   I hope this stuff helps. Maybe if he understand what you're going through he'll be a little more considerate of your feelings...
   
   Found some more stuff:
   
   Short video about anxiety v. Stress: https://youtu.be/S8-zfk9_lhg
   
   Brief video about high functioning anxiety: https://youtu.be/M96FS4aeNNU
   
   

Another anxiety battle! Lol. Try not to overthink your questions. Just ask simple ones. Almost like first date stuff. Do you like to travel, have any pets, hobbies, etc. Then once you find that subject to open yourself up, it just flows from there. It may take a few tries, but you will soon discover the good conversation starter questions. Always remember - it is more often than not the case where your anxiety is trying to convince you that you aren't doing something right, sounding stupid, appearing awkward. If you have any prep time before such interactions (and this may sound silly) but look in a mirror and tell yourself you are smart, you are funny, you are interesting and the things you have and want to say are important. Wash, rinse and repeat 😊

If you are a reader, I would highly recommend:

Change Your Thinking: Overcome Stress, Anxiety, and Depression, and Improve Your Life with CBT https://www.amazon.com/dp/1600940528/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_nuIiDbD9J76ZN

What I've learned in multiple shitty jobs is that we're usually a lot more resilient and adaptable than we think. That job is going to be hell for you in the beginning, but something worth remembering all the time is that it will become easier and easier with repetition. You might not ever like it, but it will certainly become easier to tolerate, and one day looking back it will just be a mild annoyance in your life/career.

Edit: A more practical tip is listening to good audiobooks on the topic of how to understand and deal with people. You can start with Dale Carnegie, but I'm sure there are modern alternatives focused on the retail life.

If you look at some of the diagnostic criteria for different phobias or anxieties and things, it seems like there's always a line for "and these thoughts/fears cause the person significant distress." I think it's normal for most people to feel shy and awkward and fear judgement. But, if it's causing you distress or you think that figuring out a way to get past it would significantly improve your life, then it would probably be worth it to talk to the counselor. Some places pro-rate based on income, so it's worth looking into. When I was looking into treatment for a phobia, it seemed like it would cost ~$1000 which seemed like too much. But when I thought about it, I realized that if I could spend $1000 and never have to spend time worrying and feeling sick about it again, that would be the best money I'd ever spent.

So, it's really subjective in the end. If you think about your quality of life right now, is it pretty good or do you think it could significantly improve? If you think it could be a lot better if you no longer had to deal with anxiety, then it's probably worth getting help. The counselor is a good step. My university publishes the statistics for how many people talk to the mental health clinicians at some point and it is a huge proportion of the student body. It's not weird to talk to a counselor and it doesn't mean something is wrong with you, because it's absolutely normal to have at least some period of your life when you're confronted with something challenging.

If you decide that your life could be better if you were able to get over some fears, you should talk to the counselor before worrying about how to manage the treatment costs long-term. Until you start looking into it more, you can't predict how much it will cost. And, even if you do find out later that it's too expensive or the affordable places are inaccessible by public transportation, there are books and online programs that can be useful. I found this one to be useful in the time I was waiting to get an appointment. It gave me some strategies to use in the meantime, and it also meant that once I started seeing a therapist I had a little bit of a head start.

tl;dr You have to just think for yourself about what your fears are costing you and what your life might be like without them. If you think your life would be better without anxiety you should look into treatment because it will be worth it.

Dale Carnegie's How to Stop Worrying and Start Living is a classic. A bit dated today, perhaps, and not the most in-depth or scientific option, but the basic principles all still apply. And it's a great way to really get a solid practical grasp on your anxiety issues and start working on them immediately by taking concrete steps. Carnegie is excellent at keeping the reader engaged and putting his advice into easily understandable and relatable terms. I still think of his "day-tight compartments" metaphor all the time.

I took a mindfulness/CBT combination class that used this workbook. We did most of the exercises in class, but it also comes with a CD so that you can do the guided ones at home. In fact, if you don't even want to buy the book, the audio and guides for the exercises are available for free online! The book is very useful if you like to write down how you're feeling and keep track of how the activities went. I unfortunately didn't finish the class due to exam stress, but before I started to slip, I found doing the meditations every day really helped me. Good luck!

I have had GAD since I was 15 so I applaud you for seeking professional help. Exercise won't cure cancer for sure (I've had that too) and it may not eliminate GAD, but it certainly will not hurt and may actually help. Exercise "messes with brain chemistry" in a very good way. This book by a neuroscientist explains what exercise does to your brain: https://www.amazon.com/Spark-Revolutionary-Science-Exercise-Brain/dp/0316113514

So go to therapy, definately take your meds but your parents may actually be on to something.

Nope, not quite, but it's by the same author.
This is the one I got:
The other one could be as good or better though, I'd be interested to find out. Maybe read a few pages and check out his sample meditation to see if you like the guy's voice.

There's a lot of scientific evidence for it—I did a quick google and found some stuff, although there are probably better explanations than what I found in a few seconds.

There was a study done in the past five years—at Yale IIRC—that indicated that exercise is equivalent to anti-depressant medication in treating depression.

Here is a psychologist being interviewed about what exercise does to the exerciser's mind.

Here, the American Psychological Association (APA) explains that exercise improves the brain's ability to handle stress, which in turn should reduce anxiety.

There's no cure-all; the one thing you need to do is actually a lot of things that will work together in a perfect storm to reduce and possibly eliminate your anxiety.

About exercise:

• don't worry about whether you feel a "runner's high"—it usually does come, but after at least several weeks of training
  
  
• what you are after is not only an endorphin rush; exercise is being shown to actually change the structure of the brain in positive ways, not the least of which is to be more resilient and less prone to anxiety
  
  
• if your pulse seems too high, slow it down. Remember, you're not out there to prove you're Superman/Superwoman. Speed and endurance will come; think of your mind/body as an engine that you're working on. You need to build it up before it's ready to race.
  
  
• Exercise is not punishment. Too many people get the idea that running/exercise is a way to do penance for bad behavior. You're out there to do good to yourself because you deserve it.
  
  I got a lot out of this layman's book about the effects of exercise on the brain (based science from the past 10-20 years); you may want to look at it.
  
  PS: I found this interesting article in The Atlantic about exercise and depression as well; looks pretty good, and it's from last year.
  
  edit: grammar

Ha, that reminds me of the book 'The Highly Sensitive Person' by Elaine Aron. I should really continue it. Helped reassure me lots years ago but I never finished the thing.

You're gonna do great.

> I will absolutely look into getting that book, though! Thank you so much!:)

I think is very good. Another one that I recommend if you have time is: https://www.amazon.com/Worry-Cure-Seven-Steps-Stopping/dp/1400097665/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1520362680&sr=8-1&keywords=the+worry+cure

This book allowed me to improve my anxiety so much - I highly recommend it. The way the chapters are structured makes it really easy to learn and practice CBT yourself, and there are templates for worksheets.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Cognitive-Behavioural-Therapy-Relationships-Self-Help/dp/1444170295/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1421683414&sr=8-1&keywords=teach+yourself+cbt

I did try an anxiety treatment site that involved payment, and the information I got from it was just as good as the information I got from free sites. I would look into books instead, there are some books that outline specific programs to follow to deal with your anxiety. I bought "An End to Panic" (http://www.amazon.com/End-Panic-Breakthrough-Techniques-Overcoming/dp/1572241136/) because my old therapist wrote it, and there's a lot of good information in there as well as some worksheets for chronicling your anxiety and your progress.

I'm an atheist too and I've also experienced death anxiety for about 8 years on and off now. It got really bad after my dad died, but nowadays it rarely hits me. It's still there if I allow myself to think too hard, but I try not to.

I found reading the book Staring at the Sun to be useful. It won't remove your death anxiety entirely, but it may help reduce it or help you manage it: https://www.amazon.com/Staring-Sun-Overcoming-Terror-Death/dp/0470401818

It might be a bit much to give into anxiety this much, but this is a door brace that could give you peace of mind. I've actually got one for my place because I'm on the ground floor.

Sounds like Obsessive/Intrusive Thoughts, which are very very common with anxiety. If it's negatively impacting your life, I definitely recommend seeing a therapist. If you're unable to, I found this book was lots of help, even though I have no compulsions, just the obsessions.

Sure man... there's some great TED talks out there:

Brene Brown: The power of vulnerability

Jane McGonigal: The game that can give you 10 extra years of life

Amy Cuddy: Your body language shapes who you are

And if you change your mind about the books:

The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook

The Highly Sensitive Person

At Last a Life is good, but it's essentially plagiarizing Dr. Claire Weekes Pass Through Panic. I highly recommend these audio tapes, they saved my life. http://www.amazon.com/Pass-Through-Panic-Freeing-Yourself/dp/1565119703

While not necessarily a "self-help" book and not specifically directed at people with anxiety, I've found "Party of One" (A Loner's Manifesto) a pretty good read, especially if you've been alone for most of your life.

I used to get terrible anxiety over this. I lived alone and got to the point where I was sure every little noise I heard at night was someone breaking in to rob/kill me. I was keeping myself up all night, sleeping with the lights on, checking in closets and under the bed every night...it was bad. What helped the most was to remember what I can control vs. what I can't. I can control whether the doors and windows are locked. I bought one of these for my front door. I got a can of pepper spray that I keep in my nightstand drawer. After that, anything that happens is out of my control, but I at least feel safe knowing I've done what I can. Also, don't read or watch anything you find triggering before bed. For me, that meant staying off /r/NoSleep and not watching crime shows!

Here's an example of one on amazon http://www.amazon.com/Master-Lock-265DCCSEN-Dual-Function-Security/dp/B0002YUX8I they just go under the door handle securely so the handle can't be turned. They usually have little stoppers on the bottom too so they resist if someone tries to come through the door.

College is especially tough for Introverts, almost as bad as High School! If not worse. You can't generalize about the behavior of an entire species like that, although I still wrestle with that thought myself from time to time. Go to libraries and cafes and maybe you'll meet an introverted boyfriend! It's essential for an introvert to have at least one person they are close to, but don't feel bad if you don't have that, he/she will come!

Check out either or both of these books, they spoke to me and helped me a lot:

http://www.amazon.com/Party-One-The-Loners-Manifesto/dp/1569245134

http://www.amazon.com/The-Introvert-Advantage-Thrive-Extrovert/dp/0761123695/ref=pd_sim_b_2

https://www.amazon.com/Change-Your-Thinking-Overcome-Depression/dp/1600940528

You sound like CBT would help you. It is focussed on changing harmful cognitions. This book will be a great start and really open your eyes into the shit you put yourself through but also look into seeing a psychologist who has CBT training. You language about manning up etc. is classic beating yourself up behaviour and a key driver to anxiety. PM me if you want more advice.

Hey Bob, I found it on Amazon (hope its right one): http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/1565119703?psc=1&redirect=true&ref_=od_aui_detailpages00

From the reviews this looks promising. Just ordered, should arrive Tuesday. Can't wait to try this.

He definitely has spells where he'll go a period of time with little to no anxiety, and seemingly out of no where it'll come back. Sometimes him just sitting next to me just BEING anxious makes me feel uneasy so he'll go into the bedroom, lie down and just do some deep breathing to calm down. We bought him this workbook so he has something to learn/focus on while he's anxious. When his anxiety was really bad he devoted an hour a day to this workbook. Being proactive about trying to calm down always makes both of us feel better.

This book helped me out alot

www.amazon.com/dp/1572241136/ref=cm_sw_r_other_a

Is this the book you're talking about?

I can definitely relate to everything you mentioned here. Lately it's become pretty overwhelming for me, and I'm struggling to figure out what to do. I've been trying a bunch of different techniques/tools to cope with the stress and the anxiety but mostly it has been frustrating how ineffective they have been. And I also have the same issue on Sundays/Mondays, Sundays in particular are rough for me, I'm always depressed.

For what it's worth I can tell you the things which have helped me the most so far are mindfulness-based techniques, and cognitive-behavioral techniques to reduce the amount of worrying I do (a pretty good book for that is 'The Worry Cure', it's on amazon https://www.amazon.com/Worry-Cure-Seven-Steps-Stopping/dp/1400097665/ ). I've also found regular exercise and yoga is helpful.

Another big thing I've had to do is make a conscious effort to try to work with thoughts about my job which are extremely stressful, for example I make sticky notes with quotes that help me try to cultivate gratitude/appreciation for my job. Or I'll try to catch myself when I'm really stressed, and do deep diaphragmatic breathing, or stop and make a list of 5 things I'm grateful for about my job. Sometimes I watch documentaries that help provide perspective on my job stress (I watched 'Devil's Miner' recently, and it's harder to complain about my job after seeing what kids in Bolivia do for work https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Devil%27s_Miner ).

Anyway, you're definitely not alone! Hope you can find some ways of feeling better soon.

My wife has anxiety and this book helped me a lot.

http://www.amazon.com/Loving-Someone-Anxiety-Understanding-Harbinger/dp/1608826112

You are definitely not alone. http://www.reddit.com/r/Anxiety/comments/1y3tct/i_dont_know_how_to_get_rid_of_my_biggest_fear/

The book Staring at the Sun: Overcoming the Terror of Death by Irvin Yalom was quite helpful for me. http://www.amazon.com/Staring-Sun-Overcoming-Terror-Death/dp/0470401818

Hey there! I've had panic disorders on and off for a few years (it's an ebb and flow, as are most things), and I've found this book really really helpful. It explains symptoms and includes worksheets, which I found instrumental in helping me lessen the frequency of my panic attacks.

Sorry to not elaborate more or give details (too tired) but this book really helped me so much when I was dealing with bad death anxiety. Good luck.

I relate to a lot of this. Lots of anxiety in my family, on both sides. I was born and raised to have anxious tendencies. First thing you should take to heart: you can get through this and get better than you've ever been before.

It sounds like you realize your thoughts are the problem. Negative, irrational, horrible thoughts that just rip around and around your mind. You need to get control of them by learning to recognize them when they first arise and to let them go. They are just thoughts. Peoples' minds throw lots and lots of thoughts at them to see what they're interested in. Anxious people take one look at a horrible thought and get transfixed by it. We brood over it for hours and hours. We wind up giving them all of our attention, and they make us feel horrible.

If you can't seek help until late August, buy this book: Mindfulness: A practical guide to finding peace in a frantic world. You can download it on your iPhone or iPad, Kindle, or whatever. Seriously, trust me on this one.

Here is an article where the author explains how mindfulness helped her get over a lifetime of anxiety. It has had profound effects on me as well. Its effects can take hold in a matter of days or weeks.

I get pretty stressed at work too. I remember a few years ago during a particularly stressful period at work, I started getting anxiety/panic attacks out of nowhere. They were absolutely terrifying and made my life a living hell for the month or two I had them.

I highly recommend meditation and "Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction," commonly referred to as "MBSR," for lowering stress. MBSR is a program to help people implement meditation and 'mindfulness' in their lives. Meditation has helped me reach a state of deep relaxation and focus on a daily basis. The benefits of meditating regularly carry on even when you're not meditating. I find myself reacting less to my stress and negative emotions, instead simply observing them. Today, I was feeling stressed and I found myself thinking, "I'm feeling tense, this is interesting. I wonder what exactly is causing all of this muscle tightness." I didn't fight it, I accepted it and observed it with curiosity. You might find some benefit from it too.

http://www.amazon.com/A-Mindfulness-Based-Stress-Reduction-Workbook/dp/1572247088/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1395635248&sr=8-1&keywords=mindfulness+based+stress+reduction

I'm doing ACT. Dunno if it'd help you or not but it feels like the anti-CBT for me. Rather than replacing thoughts, it's about not fusing/identifying with them.

If you're a book kind of person, I'm using Things Might Go Terribly Horribly Wrong (but I'm also seeing a therapist, too -- although I should add that I'm out of crisis now and into rebuilding.)

If nothing else you might find it a nice change from the "fix what's broken" approach. ACT's approach is more "everyone's broken to some extent, here's how to handle brokenness".

The "standard" book for ACT is Get Out Of Your Mind And Into Your Life.

I've heard this book has helped some who are highly sensitive:

https://www.amazon.com/Highly-Sensitive-Person-Thrive-Overwhelms/dp/0553062182

also this search results page on utube has some info that might help you to feel more that you are not alone in the issue:

https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=highly+sensitive+person

​

Your high sensitivity is not a flaw, as many would have you believe. It is an evolutionarily intentional genetic trait. An advantage in some situations.

​

One tip I've heard on reddit, is that when someone hurts your feelings, don't just hold it in; tell them with your words, how their words made you feel and specifically why. Doesn't work on everyone, but lots of people will apologize. Most people don't actually want to hurt other peoples' feelings.

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I have always been highly sensitive. I have the crying issue too. It has lessened a lot as I age. I've become a bit more self-righteous over the many years though. When someone disses me these days, I tend to turn to anger more often than sadness, unlike when I was in my twenties. However when I can't express my anger, like with a customer, all I can do is focus on being empathetic of how much it must suck to be them, that is, to be an asshole. To have shit coming out of them every day.

-I genuinely feel happier thinking that at least I am not willing to say such asinine things that hurt others' feelings. Then I put on a fake smile, and go into ultra-professional mode. It is not thick skin. It is a mask. They can't see me, because I am not going to open myself up to them on a personal level, just going to say the professional lines that I am required to say, with a smile that isn't even real. I basically start acting a role, like a movie actor does. I couldn't be this way all day mind you, it is just until the asshat leaves.

-Skip to 35 seconds in this vid to see an example of me with my professional mask on:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kq9Q9-U0vrc

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I feel hate every time I hear someone tell me or someone else to "grow thicker skin".

So sorry to hear this. It sounds like you're experiencing intrusive violent thoughts; [this is very common, nothing to be ashamed of, and is nothing to fear.] (http://www.ocduk.org/types-ocd)

Have you ever been diagnosed with OCD or 'Pure O'? [Here is a booklet explaining the difference between mainstream clinical Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder and Pure O.] (http://www.ocduk.org/pure-o)

tl;dr Pure O involves frequent distressing intrusive thoughts impacting quality of life, but which you lack compulsion to act on.

edit: OK knife-checking, I spoke too soon sorry; so it's more likely you have mainstream clinical OCD. As you can see on the links above, checking rituals are common compulsive behaviours with OCD and intrusive thoughts, but they reinforce the fear of uncertainty and thus increase anxiety around intrusive thoughts! It's a form of [magical thinking, a cognitive distortion very common for people who have
OCD to find themselves engaging in.] (http://evolutioncounseling.com/magical-thinking/)

The important thing to remember is thoughts are not facts! Just because you think, say, that you want to slap someone (let's keep it mild for now) doesn't mean that you'll actually do it. So it is with even the most severe thoughts of harming, even killing someone. In fact, the very fact you are extremely distressed about these thoughts, is a good sign that you're unlikely to act on them! :) Psychopaths and sociopaths wouldn't think twice about such thoughts and might even indulge them. Likewise, those most at risk of suicide have a much more passive, resigned acceptance of fate, with a troubling lack of being affected by such serious ideas, almost at peace with the idea of death,. You are here screaming "I don't want to die," which strongly suggests that these are intrusive thoughts, and not suicidal intentions or ideations.

What differs the average person from a OCD or Pure O sufferer is the significance that they attach to intrusive thoughts. Most people can just have them metaphorically go in one ear, out the other.However, people on the OCD and anxiety spectrum are more prone to have fears of loss of control and identify as a person who appreciates control. Therefore they perceive lack of control, even over one's thoughts, as more of a moral character flaw than the average person. This means that the thought distresses them even more, exacerbating stress symptoms and anxiety, increasing a fear of intrusive thoughts and their significance, increasing the feeling that one needs to perform a compulsion and creating a vicious cycle.

As an example of a sexual intrusive thought… A person not suffering from OCD might think for 10 seconds something awful like "man, I'd love to sleep with my friend's 14-year old daughter, she's really hot" but then they'd briefly notice it, think "wow, what a silly thought, the mind is a weird thing sometimes haha" and carry on with their day. Contrast to a person with OCD who may have such a thought, then ruminate over whether they are secretly a pedophile and ephebophile, tell themselves "I am an awful person and must be punished or arrested for thinking such disgusting criminal thoughts," catalysing a crippling depression and social phobia from fear of hurting children.

So the most important parts of recovery are to accept:

i) I am not 100% in control of my thoughts, and that is OK

ii) Just because I have a passing thought, doesn't mean I want to act on it

iii) Just because I think bad things, doesn't mean I am a bad person

All of this can be conditioned into your mind by practicing some form of mindfulness such as meditation on a regular basis, and getting in the hang of observing one's thoughts and feelings, without judging them or attaching any significance to them. Just observe, and let it pass.

The r/OCD sub specialises in these issues, but we can support too. Do you have a university counsellor to speak to? Mine were very helpful when I was at my worst, as was my GP. They'll explain everything I have in more detail.

If you don't have specialist support available, I cannot recommend these books enough.

1. Overcoming Obsessive Thoughts, by Purdon&Clark
   
   
2. Brain Lock, by Jeffrey M. Schwartz
   
   Remember-you are NOT what these thoughts say you are. I believe that you are a good person. But, in the long run this reassurance that the thoughts are nothing to be afraid of should not come from me or anyone else, or it'll create a reassurance-seeking cycle of checking behaviours. It's up to you, to teach yourself this. But I have faith in you.
   
   
   Take it easy friend :) good luck! Here if you have any questions.

Yes, I have panic disorder and my main symptom is a fear of dying. It is usually brought on by physical symptoms (chest pain is my most common symptom) and at my worst I was having obsessive thoughts almost constantly and developed agoraphobia.

Medication has helped me. So has my mother. She also has panic disorder and its nice to have someone to talk to and relate to. I would not have made it as far as I have without her.

I'm still terrified. I still have obsessive thoughts sometimes, but I'm slowly learning that it means that I need to live my life to its fullest potential. I think what scares me most is how you can be alive one second and dead the next (accident/homicide/etc) and I more fear the absence of my life than actually dying. The fact that I will cease to exist terrifies me.

I think about it a lot when I drive (I'm scared of car accidents) and when I hear tragic stories on the news. I hate myself for it, but I always put myself in the victims shows and try and imagine what happened. Horrid.

I don't know how to cope with it yet. I don't know if anyone truly does. But reading Things Might Go Terribly Horribly Wrong. http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1572247118/ref=redir_mdp_mobile