(Part 2) Top products from r/AsOneAfterInfidelity
We found 2 product mentions on r/AsOneAfterInfidelity. We ranked the 22 resulting products by number of redditors who mentioned them. Here are the products ranked 21-40. You can also go back to the previous section.
It's definitely more than that. My IC loaned me a book to read, After the Affair by Janis Spring. My WS has been reading it too. We are finding it very helpful, and I highly recommend it, especially if MC is not an option. It's $11 on Amazon, and they might have it at the library (https://www.amazon.com/After-Affair-Healing-Rebuilding-Unfaithful/dp/0062122703/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?keywords=after+the+affair+by+janis+spring&qid=1567124389&s=gateway&sprefix=after+the+aff&sr=8-1)
You really need to get into IC again. I know it’s expensive but it sounds like it should be put into the budget even if you have to cut out other things. Your insurance may cover it.
My husband feels this way often, but he had these type of problems before his affair also. It is very painful for me to be with him while he hates himself. I often feel guilty because I get frustrated since the self pity or self hatred seems so self centered. I don’t mean that in a mean way. It is just hard when all my energy has to be on making him feel better about himself so he doesn’t drink himself to death or find validation somewhere else. Now that he has finally gotten into IC he is doing so much better. He is not completely past it, but it has helped a lot. We also started a marriage class at church which has helped him a lot since he was raised in church.
You have to learn to have self compassion and start to forgive yourself. It doesn’t mean excusing the affair. It just means letting go of the self loathing. It is dangerous not only because it can exacerbate depression and suicidal thoughts, but the next time someone else makes you feel good you could put too much weight on that external validation instead of finding it within yourself.
I wish you well.
Edited to add a book you might find helpful.
Self-Compassion: The Proven Power... https://www.amazon.com/dp/0061733520?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share