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I'm sorry for your experiences, and I hope you find peace in healing now. It's a really interesting but very difficult topic to explain, and I'm genuinely sorry if I made a lot of typos, I'm currently running on only a couple of hours sleep, and a very foggy brain, so I expect it's a quite jumbled though I did try to proof read it! And it is very long too (though before the proofread it was a couple of pages longer and a lot less sensical).

I didn't mean it in a bad way, I just hope that by answering you it may help you as well as others. After I was diagnosed, my therapy terminated for other reasons, plus I think my therapist didn't have the answers I was looking for. So I spent a huge amount of money on investing in different books, some I've read and some I'm still reading, from so many different backgrounds. A lot of what I wrote was paraphrased from different books, but predominantly from this one (https://www.amazon.co.uk/Understanding-Treating-Dissociative-Identity-Disorder-ebook/dp/B007NYFJZW/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?keywords=Understanding+dissociative+identity+disorder&qid=1569369921&s=gateway&sr=8-3), which had a lot of info on both the formation of DID, as well as clinical and real life history of DID (and its previous names during understanding of it) throughout history. It's a fascinating read but it seemed to paint such a clear history, awareness and understanding of DID that I'm genuinely surprised that some still debate its reality. I wished when I was reading that, that the information I learned was more easily accessible (and affordable) as though it could be misused by some, it really helped me be able to connect a little internally and improve my outlook on so much of what I was experiencing. It was also useful to explain so much of what I'd been invalidating myself with. So I over share! One time I typed up a huge chapter word for word from the book and posted it somewhere online.

I had never heard of attachment, or heard about examples of ways that could affect an infant so profoundly that weren't directly due to horrific people, it was able to help me come more to terms with both "good" and bad experiences in my childhood I'd been invalidating myself and various Parts over and I was able to accept them a little better. So I really am glad it was of any use. Though it really is a little down to "just" differences between personal abilities to survive/cope, which I hate because there's nothing concrete or logical about it, but it is what it is. Maybe one day I'll learn something else that will make more sense from another book. I really hope so.

:)

Might I recommend this book! Its called Jekyll on Trial: Multiple Personality and Criminal Law by Elyn Saks

https://www.amazon.com/Jekyll-Trial-Multiple-Personality-Disorder/dp/0814797644/ref=mp_s_a_1_1/144-8101392-0225552?ie=UTF8&qid=1542156254&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=saks+multiple+personality&dpPl=1&dpID=5125x7XRVEL&ref=plSrch

Its thick but fascinating. Elyn Saks is a renowned individual who has studied DID and law a great deal. She also wrote The Center Cannot Hold, which is her personal story of her life with schizophrenia. Its rough but its so hopeful. She's very well educated and inspiring.

It's not a stupid post.An identity crises is different, in that it mainly refers to presentation and what you want to be. Identity crises are not usually about who you are but what kind of person you are. There is a component of this in dissociation, known as Identity confusion (the change in the presentation of one's identity). However, dissociation such as DID or OSDD also entail Identity alteration (Who you perceive yourself to be), depersonalization (feeling like your not yourself), and derealization (feeling like the world isn't real or is unfamiliar).

A book that helped me a lot was The Stranger in the Mirror: The Hidden Epidemic. The book is written by a leading expert on dissociation and covers a lot of the symptoms and experiences in detail. It also offers a non-clinical assessment scale that can help you determine whether you should get it looked at. The book is not without controversy, although the author does take steps to address those criticisms. While I wouldn't take it as your sole source of reasoning, I did find it useful.

https://www.amazon.com/Healing-Fragmented-Selves-Trauma-Survivors/dp/0415708230

This is the book \^.

I found that at least two of my "emotional parts" experienced marked relief from their trauma when I applied the advice in the book.

Interestingly, "Tom" did not seem to respond to any of the advice in this book. It was another system that I introduced him to on Discord who recognised him as a "persecutor alter" and was able to help calm him down a bit.

Here’s a link to the book. I have a pdf copy. But it does not format well