(Part 2) Top products from r/BabyBumps

I am due in November so this is more of a blind-leading-the-blind sort of list, but take what works for you and leave out what doesn't:

• Car seats (yes, seats. We went with an infant seat that was part of a stroller+car seat combo, and a convertible seat for when it gets older.) - we wanted new ones for safety since you can never be sure that a used car seat hasn't been in a crash, even if it isn't expired yet... plus... re-use for baby #2 someday (it shouldn't expire before my ovaries do)
  
  
• Pack & Play - I know some people use these, some don't. We know that my partner's family is a good 1.5-2 hours drive away, and his mother especially is super baby crazy so we're likely to be doing several weekend visits. Plus, we plan on setting it up in our downstairs living room so I don't have to tromp all the way upstairs every time baby naps.
  
  
• Diaper bag - we were really lost choosing one. I let my partner choose whatever he thought he'd feel comfortable carrying around. I just requested the option that it could be carried backpack-style (I like having some hands free), so he found one that converts from tote bag to backpack.
  
  
• Baby carrier - we chose the Lillebaby complete all seasons because we wanted something that worked for newborns.
  
  
• Car seat cover - "shower cap style" so it sits over the infant seat and doesn't interfere with baby or the car seat straps. November baby in a harsh winter climate, and I personally preferred this style to the tent/blanket style ones that hook onto the handle of the car seat
  
  
• Car Mirror - because I'm paranoid and want a way to be able to visually check on baby when the car seat is rear-facing. These usually attach to the headrest of the seat.
  
  
• Baby Spoons, bowls, snack and sippy cups - for 6+ months old
  
  
• Baby Bottles - despite our goal of having baby exclusively breastfed, I know there are times (i.e. babysitting, partner bonding time, I'm-too-tired, car trips where it's inconvenient to stop) when I'm not going to want to breastfeed at the boob. So we registered for a few bottles that should be compatible with the breast pump we want, along with the uber slow flow nipples.
  
  
• Drying Rack - we went with the Boon Lawn/Grass style drying rack. It is currently being used to dry dishes, and we love it. I don't care if we never dry a bottle on that thing, it's an awesome drying rack.
  
  
• Boob pads - I asked for Bamboobies, but nobody had gifted any so I ended up buying some myself when my boobs started leaking. I'm not thrilled with the quality - I feel like I could've sewn some better ones, but I wanted those because of the purported wrinkle-free heart shape. If I were to do it again, I'd just buy whatever generic circular boob pads had the best reviews and price, or make my own.
  
  
• Feeding Pillow - we went with a boppy, and registered for a spare cover. Turned out we just ended up getting a used one and gifted a spare cover, so it worked out just fine. The spare cover is because I hear it can get messy.
  
  
• High Chair - for 6+ month. Husband specifically wanted the kind that you can take camping (baby will be 6+ months for camping season next summer), and I managed to find one that specifically had a hard tray, because I heard the foldable fabric tray just dumps all the food into baby's lap.
  
  
• Bibs - we originally registered for the sleeved Bumkins bibs, but our friends gifted us a Aden & Anais Burpy Bib with rave reviews about it, and we loved that it was both a burp cloth and a bib so we shifted gears and asked for more of those. They don't have the food trap, but I love that they're multi-purpose.
  
  
• Hooded bath towels - yeah, we could use regular towels... but I heard these are more convenient because baby is likely to void themselves after a warm bath, and they're smaller than regular towels so you won't be doing an excessively large load with adult towels.
  
  
• Washcloths - for some reason we have zero adult washcloths. We just use those poufs. So having some on hand for baby seemed like a good idea - I doubt baby needs the pouf to exfoliate.
  
  
• Bath rinser - the kind that keeps the water out of baby's eyes. Necessary? probably not. Useful? we'll see in November.
  
  
• Tub spout protector thingy - because I already gave myself a giant bruise bathing the dog and hitting my back on the faucet - so this is half for me, half for keeping the baby from bumping their head on the faucet of the tub.
  
  
• Baby tub - I hear this is also unnecessary, but they are also super cheap. We got "the blue tub".
  
  
• Nursery decor / wall art - because I'm too cheap to buy it myself if it's not a necessity. Our walls are currently bare.
  
  
• Baby clothes hangers - we like the ones with clips so they keep the clothing sets together.
  
  
• Crib/bassinet/co-sleeper - we'd have registered for a crib and bassinet if we weren't getting loaner ones. Heck, we're registered for a crib anyway because it matches our nursery colors - so either we get one gifted, and it matches - or we're just gonna use the borrowed one that doesn't match because we're very frugal
  
  
• Changing table / pad / covers - We got a good deal on a used changing table at a rummage sale, but it didn't come with the pad. So we just registered for a generic $20 changing pad and a couple covers (because apparently accidents happen and these things need frequent washing). We might not have even bothered with the table and just used one of those portable pads on the bed/couch, but we can't pass up good rummage deals.
  
  
• Portable changing pads - see aforementioned changing table. We want one to go in the diaper bag.
  
  
• Crib sheets - we want the QuickZip ones. I would register for 2-3 in case there are accident(s) at night or naptime.
  
  
• Humidifier
  
  
• Diaper caddy - totally not necessary - just use whatever bin/basket/container that you want to hold a few diaper changing supplies in. Or just use your diaper bag. Whatever floats your boat. We just wanted something nice looking to leave in the living room, so we registered for a cheap basket style thing. Totally reusable after baby is out of diapers.
  
  
• Baby Monitor - all we cared for was sound. We registered for one with video, because it's almost the same price. If it were reasonably cheaper to just get the sound version, we wouldn't have bothered with video. Depends on your level of comfort.
  
  
• Baby safety kit - with thermometer, nail clippers, bulb syringe, that sort of thing.
  
  
• Baby gate - we originally registered for this, then removed it when we just bought it ahead of time to keep the dogs contained.
  
  
• Baby Medicine Kit - we registered for the little remedies kit. Yes, we're within 5 minutes of a 24-hour grocery store. No, we don't want to have to do that when baby is putting up a fuss because of gas or whatever. We'd rather have some meds on hand in the medicine cabinet.
  
  
• Diapers - we went with cloth. Go with whatever you choose.
  
  
• Diaper pail
  
  
• Booties, hats, & scratch mittens - basically the articles of clothing nobody thinks to buy
  
  
• A couple outfits we REALLY like in sizes people aren't likely to get us - to be fair, we didn't announce gender and have gotten very few articles of baby clothes. Usually, when we do get them, they're 0-3mo and 3-6mo sizes. Make sure you're registering for clothing sizes for the correct weather of that age range - for us it means winter clothes for 0-6 month, and summer clothes for 6+ month.
  
  
• Sleep sacks / swaddles - we got a lot of these
  
  
• Baby socks - I specifically requested and registered for these, and have not been disappointed. People love baby foot items, like shoes and socks. I hear you can lose a lot of these, so I wanted a lot of them.
  
  
• Infant "tummy time" gym - I made the mistake and registered for one of these. I got three. This is apparently a favorite off-registry gift to give people. Beware.
  
  
• Teething toys - Sophie the Giraffe was pretty obvious, but I'm concerned the dogs will take it as a squeak toy.
  
  
• Soft toys / lovies - We got one from our registry, and people also love gifting teddy bears, so we got a bunch of those.
  
  
• Baby Links - I registered for these because I heard it's great for attaching to strollers/high chairs so toys don't get thrown and lost.
  
  
• Bouncer/Rocker/Swing - I literally registered for it like that (thanks BabyList). I want EITHER a bouncer, rocker, or swing. Just basically a place to set the infant so I can cook/clean/shower/laundry/whatever.
  
  
• Activity Center/Jumperoo/Exersaucer - another "pick your favorite" registry item. I just wanted one that could be used for a partially mobile infant to be set down so I can get stuff done around the house.
  
  
• Baby Books - I registered for a couple as examples, and have been a couple off-registry ones. I asked for board books on the registry, because I feel we'll just use the library for most other books that aren't likely to be chewed on.
  
  
• Gift Certificates - I registered for gift certificates from Goodwill, Once Upon a Child, Half Price Books, as well as the online shop that sells my favorite type of cloth diapers.
  
  Our goal was to register for anything that could be used in the first year - but we own our house and have storage space. If we didn't, I think we'd just have registered for items used before 6 months.
  
  I did get a lot of receiving blankets despite not registering for any. I also got a lot of basic white gerber onesies, which I hear are awfully tiny and shrink in the wash so I haven't opened those at all.

I have really struggled with this myself. I am considered high risk because of pre-existing type 1 diabetes, but I am exceptionally healthy, have an almost-normal A1C, and am doing everything within my power to make this a very healthy pregnancy. Thus far, it has worked. Baby is measuring smack in the 50th percentile and there is not a single indication of anything amiss. Even my OB has admitted that I am healthier than most of his "normal" patients. Personally, I want to be in a hospital because if something goes wrong (like I bleed out or have some horrific complication), I want medical staff to be able to assist. These things are rare, but they happen. But, I am doing everything I can now to have as normal and intervention-free birth as possible. Here are some of the things we are doing (note: I have not actually given birth yet, so have no idea if these things are going to help me achieve that goal):

1. I read the book Natural Hospital Birth. It has some great tips for dealing with a "natural" birth in the hospital environment.
   
   
2. I plan on refusing certain things and not following certain rules. So far, I am refusing cervical checks. They increase your risk of infection and premature rupture of the membranes and have no real benefit. If your membranes rupture too early, you can end up with an induction. Inductions when you're not dilated and more likely to end in c-section. When I get to the hospital, I have no qualms refusing to follow certain policies that have limited benefit and can cause more problems (e.g., not eating and drinking while in labor, allowing hospital staff to manage my blood sugar/insulin when I know I can do a better job, refusing constant monitoring so that I can move around and keep things progressing, etc). I am definitely still worried about the hospital part, but I am practicing in my head as much as possible.
   
   
3. I am learning to say NO (see #2). I plan on exercising this ability once in the hospital. If there is no clear medical indication for it, I plan on saying NO to pitocin (which is given routinely for no medical reason other than to speed things up), artificial rupturing of my membranes, cervical sweeps, epidural, etc. I actually really have to try and avoid an epidural because of a previous complication from one. I know this is all going to be hard, but I am preparing myself and my SO as best I can.
   
   
4. We hired a doula. The hope is that if I am able to go into labor naturally, she can assist with pain management at home and limiting our time in the hospital. Once I'm in labor, I am going to try and avoid the hospital for as long as possible. The doula we hired is also a trained midwife assistant so she can do things like cervical checks when I'm in labor to help us figure out the ideal time to go to the hospital. If you can wait until about 7cm or so to be admitted, they are going to push far fewer interventions. I know this will be hard, but again, we are trying to prepare as best we can. We also have a fetal doppler at home so we can do things like monitor the baby's heart rate on our own.
   
   
5. The big thing with OBs is that they have all these rules about not going past 40 weeks. This is, to some degree, absurd because 40 weeks is just an average. But if you get past 40 weeks, many OBs will start to push for the induction (or tell you their practice "requires" one). I am doing EVERYTHING in my power to speed this process up. I walk at least 3 miles a day, swim, do Pilates, and am taking some supplements that supposedly help with ensuring you go in labor a little faster or more smoothly. Yes, some of this is up to mother nature and whatever the baby needs, but if I can safely help things along, I am going to do that. While this part is beginning to feel like a full-time job of its own, I at least feel like I'm doing everything in my power to make this happen the way I would prefer (and I'm in really good shape for someone who's almost 9 months pregnant!!)
   
   
6. I have found an OB who at least doesn't fight me too much. Yes, he is still an OB and has his beliefs that cervical checks are necessary and there's nothing wrong with inductions. But he at least (so far) seems to respect my opinion and desire not to do certain things. And he claims to be fairly low-intervention. He has been very supportive of me staying at home as long as possible when laboring (that really surprised me). He actually told me flat out that if I don't want interventions, I should try and stay at home as long as humanly possible because once in the hospital, it gets harder to fight things.
   
   Through all this, I am trying to remember that labor and birth is unpredictable. I very well may end up with a c-section or induction because of things outside my control. While I have done all the above things, I am trying to be OK with needing intervention if it's necessary. I am trying to remind myself that the end result (a healthy, happy baby) is the ultimate goal.
   
   Personally, I have lost a lot of confidence in the medical profession throughout my pregnancy. Doctors do NOT know everything and I have learned how to assert myself and (politely) refuse certain things. I have spent a great deal of time reading posts on here and doing my own research about the birthing process so that I can make as informed a decision as possible during labor and delivery. Information is very powerful and NO ONE can force you to do something you do not believe is in your (or your baby's) best interest.

We did:

Four-week "comprehensive childbirth" class at our hospital, which I really liked and am glad I took. The instructors were all either nurses or former nurses at our hospital and were familiar with our hospital's policies and standard practices, so I now feel very comfortable with what might happen during our birth; also, it turns out our hospital is pretty awesome. It was also actually some nice bonding time with my husband, especially when we practiced having him coach me.

One night breastfeeding class, also at the hospital. Informative, but not necessarily anything I couldn't have learned on my own. It was good to hear about the breastfeeding support that my hospital offers, but I suspect I would have found out about all of that anyway during my stay.

Watched the DVD series Laugh and Learn about Childbirth. It was nice to have a second perspective, and there is so much to know about childbirth that there was material covered in the videos that wasn't covered in our class. The instructor has an interesting style which we found to be hit or miss, tonally, but overall it was a good use of time. We also have Laugh and Learn About Breastfeeding, but haven't watched it yet.

I also read (I've been to the library more in the past two months than in the previous two years...):

• Ina May's Guide to Childbirth (highly recommend; very empowering)
  
• Husband Coached Childbirth (The Bradley Method) (seemed a bit dated, even though it was an recent edition, and a bit "out-there" for me)
  
• The Official Lamaze Guide: Giving Birth with Confidence (recommend)
  
• Pregnancy Sucks: What to Do When Your Miracle Makes You Miserable (a fun and quick read; more helpful for general pregnancy than labor and delivery)
  
• Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy: From Doctors Who Are Parents, Too! (also more helpful for general pregnancy)
  
  My husband is reading The Birth Partner, Third Edition: A Complete Guide to Childbirth for Dads, Doulas, and All Other Labor Companions, and likes it so far.
  
  I still have HypnoBirthing: The Mongan Method: A natural approach to a safe, easier, more comfortable birthing; The Birth Book: Everything You Need to Know to Have a Safe and Satisfying Birth (Sears Parenting Library); and Natural Hospital Birth: The Best of Both Worlds on my reading list. About three weeks to go; we'll see how far I get.

First-timer here who's hoping to go without pain meds. Here's my plan, loosely based on things I've picked up from reading Ina May's guide to childbirth and some Bradley Method books.

1. Avoid an induction if at all possible, i.e. let my body begin labor when it is ready to.
   
   
2. Labor at home for as long as possible. (Keep in mind, I live five minutes from the hospital. If you live farther away or might run into traffic, take note of what others have said here about how much it sucks to labor in the car.)
   
   
3. Change positions as needed. Know what positions are helpful in what circumstances (such as all fours to help ease back labor). There was a helpful one-page document posted here a few days ago about labor positions, but I'm having trouble locating it. If I find it, I'll update this post with a link. Try out other things like laboring in the shower or on the toilet, too. I really don't think there is one single perfect position for each woman to use the entire labor - I think it will help to move around into different positions as things progress.
   
   
4. Think of the pain as "work." As in, this is my body working to get my baby delivered. Don't be scared of it; know that it's happening for a reason. Prior to labor starting, read about what the uterus and cervix are doing during contractions, and what to expect as far as how the contractions will change in timing/strength and how your mental/emotional state will change throughout labor. I've been finding the information in Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way really helpful for this. Not only does it go into how the uterine muscles work to dilate the cervix, but it also goes through the "emotional signposts" of labor so that you can know in advance how you might feel at each stage.
   
   
5. Focus on relaxing through the pain. This goes hand in hand with number 4. I think that if I tense up and fight the pain, it will make the whole process take longer, so I'm going to focus on relaxing into it. That is totally not a natural reaction to pain in humans, so this is the one that I'm most unsure I'll be able to do properly when the time comes! This is one area where I still feel unprepared at this time. I think the biggest key will be breathing. I'm not planning to do the Lamaze-style breathing, because I think it will make me tense. Instead, I'm going to try for deep, slow abdominal breathing.
   
   
6. Labor support - if you can get a doula you like and feel comfortable with, I'd do it. If you have an SO who will be there with you, encourage him or her to prepare for the labor and birth alongside you, learning the same things about what your body will be doing and how you might feel. They can also learn some techniques for helping you, like backrubs and counterpressure.
   
   
7. Don't start "working" until you have to. Early labor can take a long time, and I think if you're intensely focused on "holy crap, I'm in labor!" that entire time, it can really wear you out and increase your feelings of "I've been doing this forever, I can't take it any more!" later on in labor. I'm planning to have a bunch of other stuff I can do/focus on in the beginning, such as: painting my nails, coloring in a coloring book like this one, watching a movie, watching ASMR videos on YouTube, going for a walk, baking cookies, playing with my dogs, and playing cards and board games with my husband.
   
   
8. Try to get a care provider who is on board with your unmedicated birth goal. I'm still working on this myself! I currently have an OB, and I don't think she is really on the same page as me with regard to my desire to not use pain meds. I'm interviewing a midwife this week to see if I can find a better fit there. Either way, talk to your care provider beforehand and explain your goal. I'd present it as, "this is what I am hoping to do; I know things can change in the moment, but my goal is to avoid using pain meds." I'm also putting together a one-page birth plan, and in it, I ask the staff to please not offer me pain medicine; I will ask for it if I want it.
   
   If you can't tell, I've been thinking about this a lot, too! I hope there is some useful info for you in what I've rambled about here, and good luck for your upcoming birth!

I agree with you about the towels and wash cloths. I found a full sized towel easier to use than the tiny baby one, but to each their own. I was given a TON of wash cloths, but didn't use them until my kid started solids, then they came in handy to wipe off her face and hands. You don't need baby specific ones though, any will do.

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Since you're having a winter baby, I recommend reading this article on keeping kids and babies warm and safe in the car seat. Bulky coats are actually quite dangerous. And I recommend one of these if you live somewhere where it gets really cold. Kept my winter baby in Canada nice and warm! No matter what bunting bag you get, make sure it goes on the carseat like a shower cap, not behind the straps at all. Once your kid is in a convertible seat, it's tougher since the seat stayed in the car and therefore was quite cold. So I would use lots of fleece layers and made a carseat poncho.

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Clothing: I also recommending getting a couple sweaters for a winter baby. I had two in each size. I also don't see any sleepers on your list, they are an essential for me! One item of clothing instead of many is WAY easier in the constant diaper changing days. On really cold days, we'd actually layer pants and a sweater over a sleeper, to keep her extra warm (and have built in socks!) I'd say have at least 5 onesies, and 3-5 sleepers.

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Pacifiers: I recommend only having one or two on hand. I ended up having breastfeeding problems, and my LC discouraged the use of pacifiers because it was apparently encouraging my kid to CHOMP. I never used one again. It was actually nice, since it was something I didn't have to worry about in the diaper bag, and we never had to wean her off them. I have picked up two for this upcoming birth though, I will use them if I need.

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My essentials, but many people do without:

- For me, sleep sacks are essential. I never figured out swaddling, and sleep sacks made things so much easier. I love the halo sleep sacks, and the newborn one has velcro flaps for swaddling.

- Baby bathtub. I really don't know how people bathe babies, especially tiny ones, without a baby bathtub. They are so tiny, delicate, and very slippery when wet.

- Travel system stroller. Being able to click the carseat into the stroller was amazing. I'm a c-section mama who has disastasis recti in pregnancy, so baby wearing doesn't work very well for me for very long. A stroller helped me get out of the house, which saved my sanity. This also meant the carseat was never left in the car to get cold, which I felt was important with a winter baby.

- Carrier. Though I couldn't use it for very long because of my core, sometimes when we were out and about she'd start to fall apart, and popping her into the carrier solved that right away. If you don't get a stroller, you'll definitely want a carrier. I loved my Tula free to grow carrier. Easy to use, and worked on both my husband and I.

I had similar concerns before my son was born 3.5 months ago. It seemed like everyone had trouble, so I was fully prepared for a miserable experience and was mentally steeling myself to power through for the sake of my baby. And then... it was super easy. No real latch issues. Minimal pain. No supply issues. Used a bottle day 2 and pacifier at week 2 without any nipple confusion. When needed, we used formula here and there without any problems. It's pleasant and sweet for me to nurse him and it's been a wonderful bonding experience! I was lucky, but I also think people with good experiences don't tend to comment online about them as much, so maybe they're underrepresented.

I will say that if it's in the budget, stocking up on some supplies, including just-in-case supplies, was helpful. It's great to have them on hand the second you need them - I'm not sure I would have thought to go out and buy them in the moment otherwise - and also provides some peace of mind before the baby comes knowing that you're prepared.

For me these included:
Earth Mama Angel Baby Nipple Butter - use early and often!
Hydrogel pads - Ameda, Lanisoh and Medela all make them; they are reusable over a 72 hour period or so and they feel AMAZING, especially when refrigerated first (I used and liked the Lanisoh; I snagged a bunch when the price dipped to ~$3). Don't wait till it gets bad to use these!
Lanisoh heating/cooling pads - cooling is soothing and especially nice when you're milk comes in; heat is good for encouraging let down and helping with any clogged ducts
Medella SoftShells - The least essential of the bunch, but a nice-to-have if you want to slather on nipple butter but not stain your nursing bras/tanks or just want to allow some more airflow. Worked great for me but possibly not for everyone's anatomy?

As I'm writing this I remembered many of these recommendations came from this excellent (and now recently updated) Lucie's List article on breastfeeding prep.

You can't predict how this stuff will go but for as much as there is to worry about, there's also a lot to look forward to with nursing. Good luck!

Since I just bought a bunch of stuff off of amazon for baby #2 today I can go over some things I found useful.

Bouncer: I didn't have one with my son, but wished I would have. I had bought two different types of fancy swings, and my son hated them (plus they are big and bulky). But a bouncer would have worked great because it is nice and portable, so things like showers would have been so much easier.

A Moby or a Mei Tai wrap: I loved these with my son. They were perfect for grocery shopping so I didn't have to lug around a giant car seat that takes up a whole shopping cart (PSA never put an infant carrier in the infant seat of a shopping cart). Plus it kept all the strangers grubby hands off my baby. It amazed me the amount of people who would just walk up and touch my sons face when he was in his car seat.

Lots of footie PJs: They are so much easier to deal with till they are about 3 months.

Night gowns for babies: Like these are awesome for nighttime. the bottom part is open so no need unbuttoning or unzipping and waking baby up even more.


Burp clothes (gerber cloth diapers): Like These. Don't waist your money on the cutesy burp clothes in stores. They are thin and horrible material. Plus they barely cover your shoulder. These are what the hospital used as burp cloths and they worked so great! They are super thick and huge (covers your whole shoulder). My son had bad acid reflux so there was a lot of spit up.

Receiving blankets I didn't use them for swaddling (my son hated to be swaddled) But they work great when used on top of a changing table cover, or on a couch/bed. They save you from having to wash the changing table cover a zillion times. And are a great to throw in the diaper bag for an outing to use on changing tables.

Boppy: I used my boppy so much! They are great for breastfeeding, but also for laying baby down for tummy time.

These were just some things that helped me. Hopefully some of it you find helpful =)

It's painful in the beginning, if the baby is latched on correctly it shouldn't hurt as much but until your nipples toughen up it's sore. I used nipple cream all the time to help with it, you can also try a nipple shield if it hurts a lot.

My sister got me these and whether you breastfeed or not they're wonderful for engorgement!
https://amzn.com/B0070767DU


If you can make it through the first two weeks things get a lot easier. It's a good feeling seeing your baby putting on weight and growing, knowing it's all from your milk. It's also nice to have that ability to comfort them anywhere. I've never really had supply issues, you just have to make sure you eat and drink enough. I fed my first on demand early on to establish my supply and let her decide when she wanted to eat instead of scheduling her and that helped, some foods like oats help too.

There's actually a subreddit entirely devoted to this called /r/breastfeeding if you want to check it out. I would definitely recommend breastfeeding though because it's a beautiful experience and it makes you feel so proud knowing your body created and then fed your baby. Good luck!

I did the pitcher of formula & fed it to the baby cold, and it was a lifesaver. Before that I felt like all I ever did was make bottles! And the whole time my baby would cry and cry, begging for food. Now it's just pour twist serve, easy as pie.

I was very prepared to handle engorgement, and here's what I gathered from research, asking for advice here, and talking to my doctors:

1. Don't pump, as it will signal your body to make more milk; but it's ok to take a hot shower (gives you a bit of a letdown) or hand-express just a little to relieve pain.
   
2. Buy a REALLY supportive sports bra. Like the kind for high-impact exercise. It shouldn't be too small/tight as that can contribute to mastitis, but you want to keep those puppies as motionless as possible to minimize pain.
   
3. They used to give prescription meds to dry you up, but they no longer do that because it can cause blood clots (iirc).
   
4. Heat stimulates letdown and production, so don't use heat (unless you REALLY need that hot shower). Instead, ice it up. It helps with minimizing production and relieves pain (and lasts longer than cabbage leaves). I got these awesome boob-shaped ice packs.
   
   Then, I got very lucky and my milk never came in. My boobs felt sore and tingly for a day, so I was all geared up for the pain to start, but instead the next day I felt totally fine. It isn't guaranteed to come in. I hope you will get lucky too!
   
   One last note, there are SO many things I LOVE about formula feeding. I first chose formula for the exact reason as you, unsafe medication, but it turns out I love it so much, I would do it again even if I wasn't still on those meds. I hope it goes really well for you too!

So, I totally breastfed one kid and then pumped exclusively for the next, and for the third breastfed a little but mostly pumped and then when I was sick of pumping, I switched to formula.

A couple of things to know about breastmilk production. First is that the initial wave of hormones that triggers the production of breastmilk comes from the delivery of the baby and the placenta. Your milk will come in whether you do anything or not. But, to maintain your supply, you need to empty your breasts and stimulate your nipples about 8 times a day. It doesn't have to be in 2 hour intervals around the clock. A baby doesn't cue to eat at exactly 2 hours around the clock. When you breastfeed you follow the baby's cues. If you are exclusively pumping, then you can pump more frequently in the day and then at night give yourself no more than one 4-6 hour stretch for uninterrupted sleep. Don't go more than six hours without pumping or feeding a baby unless you are trying to decrease your supply, because that is what will happen. If you do go more than six hours, beware that you can get plugged ducts or mastitis. Your supply regulates at 12 weeks, so the first 12 weeks if you want to develop your full supply, it's important to keep up the frequent breast emptying and nipple stimulation. After that, you can go further apart and some people are able to pump as few as 4 times a day with a couple "power pumps" throughout the week (pumping on an off for 10 minutes over a 1 hour period to simulate cluster feeding). But some people need to keep up the eight pumps for the duration of pumping, so you will figure out what works for you. If your goal is not to provide breastmilk only, you can pump less and give some formula, but your supply will tend to gradually dwindle. That might be what works for your family.

Some people do use formula during the very early days of breastfeeding and there is actually evidence that this can increase rates of success because it decreases frustration and allows the baby to have more energy for effective breastfeeding. So you don't have to be afraid of formula. But you do have to stimulate the nipples and empty the breasts. :)

If you are doing a combination of pumping and breastfeeding, the easiest way is to just breastfeed when you are home and then pump when you are away from the baby. In your situation (going back to work), if I liked breastfeeding, I would probably start out breastfeeding and maybe add in 1 extra pump a day if it's not too onerous. Then once your are working, you pump throughout the day while you are away from your baby. Some people breastfeed overnight (this is good for your supply and bad for your level of fatigue), some people use pumped milk or formula. Personally I found this all to onerous with my third, so I mainly pumped because I preferred it to breastfeeding, and my husband and I took turns giving the bottle at night. When I switched to powder formula I would keep bottles prefilled with water and a premeasured formula container at the bedside. Add formula, shake, feed baby. When I went back to school he was 8 weeks, and I rapidly dropped pumps, used up the rest of my freezer milk and guilt free switched to formula. My plan for all future babies is to provide breastmilk for approximately six weeks and then to give formula after that. This is based on my own personal experiences with breastfeeding and my current lifestyle (work full time). You will find what works best for your situation and your family. Some people are able to pump and breastfeed and provide milk for over a year, and they are happy with being able to do so.

Other little tips:

Get a pumping bra or make one by cutting holes in a sports bra.

A lot of moms store their pump parts in the fridge in between pumps and wash and sterilize once a day. This might be an acceptable practice with full term kids (I felt fine doing it with mine after the first six weeks) but for newborns, for milk donation, and especially for any preterm babies it is very important to thoroughly clean the pump parts with soap and water and air dry every single time. Which sucks because preemie moms have enough on their plate, but the evidence suggests that cleaning is an important part of safe milk handling for preemies.

Lastly, I haven't had a chance to try one of these personally (they came on the market after I weaned the last baby) but a lot of my friends have raved about this for use during a feed: https://www.amazon.com/Haakaa-Silicone-Breastfeeding-Manual-Phthalate/dp/B01F8W7CF0

Books

These are the only ones I bought and read:

• The Baby's Owner Manual
  
  
• Pregnancy Instruction Manual
  
  
• The Pregnancy Countdown book
  
  I love this Subreddit and just how easy breezy and fun the conversations were while still being helpful. I found these books had a similar feel to them.
  
  ----
  
  Baby Bump
  
  I'm pretty petite and really didn't start showing until 24-ish weeks? Then is was like BOOM. There's a baby in there. So, I bet it's coming sooner than you think. I honestly was able to sleep on my stomach late into the 2nd Tri - which made me very happy.
  
  ----
  
  Food
  
  I just ate what felt right at that moment. I had a lot of food aversions and it was just hard for a while. Eventually, I found things that worked and then the aversions tapered. I've been eating cashews a lot lately... Milk hits the spot... I'd say keep trying until you find something!
  
  ----
  
  TIMING
  
  I didn't really have a "timeline," and my OB would remind us and help us figure out when to do some things like, call the insurance company, schedule classes, etc. I preferred to take the classes later so the information stayed fresh.
  
  As for a car, we started that early because we knew we had two cars to sell/trade and wanted to make sure we found something we both really liked.
  
  Make a list of what you want done before baby comes and place it according to "MUST HAVES" / "NICE TO HAVES" -- that helped us prioritize and made it feel more managable.
  
  Hope some of this helped!!

You don't need 3 swings/rockers - pick one.

You don't need 2 strollers - pick one.

You don't need 2 activity mats - pick one.

You don't need 2 cribs - pick one.

You don't need 2 mattresses - pick one.

You have 3 different bottle types; I'd recommend choosing just one and not bother getting another brand unless your baby has issues with that one. You don't want to unbox, sanitize, etc. and risk not being able to return the other set.

I don't see the point of those "wet and dry wipes" organizer pouches; a ziploc bag works just fine if you want to carry small amounts of wipes with you.

As far as baby carriers go, I recommend Lillebaby over Infantino, hands down. They sell some of their styles in Target, but you can get more on the Lillebaby website or Amazon. You may want opinions from /r/babywearing, or go to a local Babywearing International meeting to try out carriers before choosing one.

Things I don't see:

• Washcloths
  
• Towel/robe
  
• First aid essentials (thermometer, nail clipper, Nose Frida, baby Tylenol, baby Motrin, diaper rash cream, Aquafor, hair brush, shampoo, etc.)
  
• More sheet sets. My daughter just had a nose bleed last night and that means we only have one more fitted sheet that isn't stained in some way. Get more! Haha.
  
• Baby monitor - totally a personal choice, but I recommend one.
  
• Muselin blankets or swaddles. I know you have the velcro swaddles, which are great, but sometimes baby just needs a light blanket in the car seat or in their swing. Even though my daughter is almost 2, we still have a swaddle cloth in her diaper bag. I use it to cover the ground if she wants to play on the floor somewhere that's filthy (like an airport terminal).
  
• Burp cloths. We always used these tri-fold diapers as burp cloths - they're not trendy-looking, but they're cheap and very effective.
  
• Other basic clothing items like footie PJs, pants, hats (since you're having a winter baby, assuming you're in the northern hemisphere), etc.
  
  I always recommend Lucie's List when it comes to having a basic, not-overdone registry. They talk about essentials (not fluff) and sort things by price.
  
  You may also want to post this in /r/beyondthebump rather than here, since everyone in Beyond The Bump have already had a kid.
  
  Good luck!

I bought this. It's 70 bucks off list price and is quite fantastic. The changer comes off easily and there is tons of storage. Plus the bassinet area is pretty nice albeit a bit flimsy if you take it out of the playard. Same with the changer area... I'm probably not going to use either like the picture because of how 'flimsy' they are out of the playard. Another grip I have with it is you can't use the whole bassinet area because of the storage under the changer.

If baby is going to be sleeping in it full time, I'd personally go for something a bit different. Like this or this.

That'll work okay, but the only problem is if you want to change baby and use the changing table you'll have to flip the newborn napper over to access the changing table.

I love the one we got because of the price, but honestly I would've sprung for this instead because it's awesomeee... You can strap baby in, use it as a rocker elsewhere. And the changing table folds in half to help with 'space' as the baby gets older and uses the bassinet or the bottom piece. If I didn't register for a rock 'n play I'd probably return my pack 'n play for one with a cuddle cove.

Edit: grammar and clarity.

Double Edit: You can also go for a rock 'n play. I have tons of friends that swear by them and had their baby sleeping in them for a while until they started getting stronger (about 4-5 months old). I also registered for this. It has an auto-rock feature now. It'll make up for the lack of a newborn napper/cuddle cove and also serve double purpose because it moves around so easily.

Also, I work at a university and we have a great childcare program for kids as young as 6 weeks old. There is a LONG waiting list. I suggest googling or asking your student support coordinator if your school has this and if so, how you go about applying. It's only mildly more expensive than a at-home daycare and I love it because it's mostly nursing students and students going to school for early childhood development. They actually want to be taking care of babies. I went to a university daycare program as a little kid and it was amazing, they taught me Spanish and good eating habits and I just have really fond memories of it.

Also, start telling friends and family and don't turn your nose up at hand-me-downs and buying used clothing/furniture etc... Personally, we are going to use this as a crib and changing station, because cribs are expensive and this way we can take his crib with us if we want to. Keep your mind open and stay on this forum, you'll learn a lot!

Most importantly, congratulations!!!

Absolutely no issues with flying during pregnancy. Some airlines restrict pregnant women from flying past ~36 weeks, but I think that's because they don't want you going into labor in their airplane cabin at 32,000 feet. After getting thru security, buy a bottle of water for your wife. I was on a 2-hour flight over Christmas and was dying of thirst waiting for the drink cart to come down the aisle. Also, give her the aisle seat if possible so she can walk the aisles periodically to keep the blood moving and access the bathroom quickly if needed.

As for books, I've read a lot of good ones. I've liked the Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy, and Elisabeth Bing's Six Practical Lessons for an Easier Childbirth and Ina May's Guide to Childbirth for info on labor and delivery, and The Happiest Baby on the Block and the Wonder Weeks for infant care. Also The Birth Partner is a great book on delivery for both pregnant women and husbands. If you can find a secondhand bookstore near you, check it out--a lot of people sell off these types of books once they're done with them.

Congratulations, and welcome! SO and I just found out about our incoming bundle of cuteness on Monday, had our ultrasound to rule out ectopic on Tuesday, and it has been a whirlwind ever since. I have been on the depo shot for 2 years, and I only missed one cycle (was due for a shot 7/1, conceived around 7/15). We are due April 11th, but they may change it to the 16th! As far as not drinking, I would go with the "new medications, can't drink" thing. It's something people shouldn't question, and if they do it is easy enough to explain. Just be prepared to answer the questions ahead of time!

One of my favorite books from my last pregnancy, especially for our dear sweet men, is The Pregnancy Instruction Manual and [The Baby Owner's Manual] (http://www.amazon.com/The-Baby-Owners-Manual-Trouble-Shooting/dp/1594745978/ref=pd_bxgy_b_img_y) once little one is here. They are easy to read and sort of hilarious!

Again, congratulations!

So I know you were asking about the POANG in particular...but since you mentioned price...this is the recliner we got for our nursery...it's in a similar price range: https://www.amazon.com/Baby-Relax-Mikayla-Recliner-Microfiber/dp/B00VAS7QS0/ref=sr_1_1_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1498160535&sr=8-1&keywords=nursery%2Brecliner&th=1

I mean, it's not going to be as nice as a Lazy Boy, but it's pretty comfortable! And I'm 5'4" but it's got a tall back, and it would definitely work for your 5'6". I will say, if I sit with my ass all the way back in the chair, I can't reach the ground, but that's cause it's a pretty deep cushion. It reclines, rocks, and swivels, which is nice.

(on a related note: I think it's really comfortable...but I don't actually nurse in it, lol. I have a hard time getting my kid in a good position to feed without a nursing pillow, and it's not easy to get in a recliner, put the nursing pillow in my lap, and then a baby on top of the nursing pillow. So I did a lot of nursing on the main couch or in my bed, where I could lay the baby down next to me, set up my pillows, and then pick up baby and put her on the pillow. It's obviously easier now because she's 8 months old, but I still think it's easier just to sit on the ground and nurse her)

I just got this wedge pillow last week (I'm 26 weeks) and it has already made a huge difference:

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01N06ZFIX/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o02_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

I carry it from the couch (when I'm watching TV on the evenings if I lay on my side) to my bed at night. It has relieved a lot of the soreness I was getting just from the heavy weight of my stomach as I laid on my side.

I also HIGHLY recommend good maternity pajamas. I was wearing everything else maternity by early in my second tri but was able to hang on with my old pajamas till recently - they were jersey material and I just kept the elastic under the bump. Well my bump has been hanging out the bottom so I finally got some maternity pj's and I love having nice, pretty pajamas again, and I'm so much more comfortable. I got a nursing style so I wll be able to wear post-partum too. (These are what I got: https://www.kindredbravely.com/collections/nursing-pajamas/products/the-davy-nursing-pajamas?variant=39442624270 )

I was/am in the exact same boat - first kid, limited funds, starting from scratch, going through reviews and prices drove me insane. It took me probably three months to get my registry together, and, even then, I am still switching things up, lol.

lucieslist.com was invaluable while picking everything out. I highly recommend you check it out.

What we have bought ourselves that fit our tight budget:

Graco Comfy Cruiser Travel System. We had already decided to go with that car seat, given that it seems to be the top-rated budget option, and the stroller ended up being a much-needed bonus. We go on walks a lot, so it works for us. If you don't need the stroller, the seat itself is, I think, only ~$100.

The Pack N Play, which I've heard from literally everyone and their mother is almost a necessity.

Because we don't have an IKEA near us to get our hands on a swanky $99 crib, we bought this DaVinci crib. We still only ended up paying $100 for it, as we found it on sale, however, we would have paid the $200 for it, given that the reviews are good, and, when compared to some other cribs that cost $400 and up, the price isn't bad at all.

As for the rest of the registry, we have on there a Moby wrap (affordable baby wearing, yay!), nail clippers, outlet plugs, nursing pads, a wipes case, a baby tub, baby wash, assorted crib sheets, waterproof crib sheets, Pack N Play mattress, and sheets to go with, crib mattress (we actually bought this one when we found it on sale for $20, and it's just fine), receiving blankets, dirty diaper bags (because we aren't getting a diaper pail, just a small can with a seal-able lid), changing pad, and a cover to go with, pacifiers, Dr. Brown's Gia Nursing Pillow, a bottle brush, bottle warmer, thermometer, booger sucker, camera to monitor the baby, and a few other assorted things that I couldn't really find a definitive "best in class" for, so pick at your own discretion: diaper bag, swaddles (although I've read good things about the Summer Infant brand), bottles (we're going with Phillips Avent), a bouncer (we got this one), and a swing.

I agonized over this stuff for what felt like forever, lol, so I hope it helps you and saves you some hair-pulling. It's all so overwhelming!

Definitely look into medication from your doctor! Some may work better than others. The medication my doctor prescribed me didn't work so great :/ Ended up sticking it out and lived off crackers and lemon water with a ton of ice cubes for weeks. Even with the medicine, this was really still the only stuff I could handle.

I hope it goes away soon! It's absolutely miserable. By week 15 I was feeling closer to normal, and it slowly improved since then :) but I definitely got to my mental breaking point around week 12 or so. :( Try to hang in there!!

I've heard some great things about these little candies, that you can order online that have some ginger, I think, that have good reviews to help alleviate morning sickness. https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B005AYE8UE/ref=mp_s_a_1_1_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1479132747&sr=8-1&keywords=preggo+pops+lollipops&pi=SY200_QL40&dpPl=1&dpID=51CHnoD0i5L&ref=plSrch I didn't get around to ordering them myself, but I heard good things about them!

Deep clean the bathroom - especially the tub. They'll tell you to take lots of baths to help with postpartum healing, and that will be nicer in a sparkly clean tub.

If you think you have enough burp cloths, buy a few more. I did not anticipate just how useful they are.

Buy this thing. It looks silly, but it's so much better than the one the hospital gives you that it not even funny. Dermaplast and Tucks pads are great, but this thing brought me the most relief of all.

While you're at it, stock up on granola bars and instant oatmeal. They're faster than fast food. Our freezer space is limited, so meal prep was impossible. But granola and oatmeal are shelf stable.

Get a few novels. Infants like to hear your voice, but their comprehension isn't there yet so it doesn't matter what you say. It's nice to read while nursing. For the first weeks they don't actually look at picture books, so you can read anything you want, not just baby books.

Find out what the daycare wants you to have in advance. That way you don't have to go shopping on your way home with the baby on the first day to pick up the things you didn't know they would need.

Get a box to stash the clothes baby grows out of. It happens sooner than you may think. I was sure that mine would be in newborn clothes still when I returned to work. He grew out of them in just over three weeks. He's now working on outgrowing all his socks.

And then get more burp cloths. Not kidding.

My DH and I didn't do anything special before trying, or while trying, aside from me using a ovulation predictor test daily that I ordered from Amazon (there are some really cheap ones that work well) and my husband keeping his laptop off his lap.

As for gaining too much weight while pregnant - everyone is different. I eat when I'm hungry and I try to eat healthy. First and second trimester I was right on for weight gain, exactly where I should be. Third trimester my weight has been bouncing all over the place and my diet/lifestyle haven't changed at all. I think your body has a lot more say over your weight gain than what you put in your mouth sometimes. I'm eating healthy and not ridiculous amounts, so I'm not going to worry about it until after I give birth, I can try to lose weight then.

I avoided all parenting magazines like the plague. Every one I looked at was pure advertising, or advertising dressed up to look like articles. I stuck to this subreddit, talking to my OB and This and this book. They were informative, enjoyable to read and pretty unbiased. DH and I also took a childbirth class, breastfeeding class and newborn care class through a third party company affiliated with our hospital.

These are things I wish I had invested in the first time around OR that I did invest in and was so glad I did:

• Some Depends. I know that no one really wants to wear adult diapers but they were amazing when my water broke. I was completely soaking through the most absorbent overnight pads I owned in about 10-15 minutes and the hospital was 45 minutes from my home. I finally remembered I had some Depends "just in case" and oh man 1 of them lasted the last 20 minutes or so I was getting stuff together, the trip to the hospital and the time it took to get settled into a room in L&D. I'm pretty sure it would have lasted a good bit longer also if needed. 10/10 highly recommend.
  
  
• At least 1 good peri bottle. Yes you'll get one from the hospital probably. But do you really want to carry it around the house or always have to go back to the same bathroom because it has your peri bottle? I have a 2 story townhome and I hated being downstairs and then having to go all the way back upstairs just to pee because that's where my peri bottle was. I know stairs sound like no big deal but that first day or two home from the hospital they really feel like a big deal. Plus the peri bottle I got from the hospital started looking like it was going to break just any time, which would of course be awful. I finally invested in a Fridet mom washer and I can highly recommend it. It was easier to use than the peri bottle I got from the hospital and it felt far more durable.
  
  
• Tucks pads. My hospital supplied them during my stay but didn't give me any to take home when I was discharged. They were still the best thing ever for the first week or two (or longer, I'm not sure) after discharge.
  
  
• This is one I've never seen anywhere probably because it's a very uncommon problem. I really, really wish I had seen it somewhere though because it would have saved me so much agony. If you have sensitivities to some commercial pads like Always you should 100% invest in some cloth PP pads. I get bad eczema from Always pads. Like really bad: my skin blisters, gets super hard, cracks and then peels till I have no skin left in the affected area. I thought "oh I'll just avoid Always pads and I'll be golden!" WRONG. So wrong. I didn't take any pads with me to the hospital because I thought they'd supply pads. They did but I apparently had a very similar, though not quite as bad, reaction as I do to Always pads. And then once my skin was already so incredibly irritated even pads that are normally very safe for me were too much. The only pads I could use without a lot of pain, itching and worsening of the skin problems were cloth pads. I ordered some on-line but it took a couple of days to get them and those days I spent waiting were the worst. So if you have issues with "normal" disposable pads please learn from my mistakes and get some cloth pads ahead of time. And take them to the hospital with you. Also figure out some way to do something similar to the "padcicles" everyone talks about with the cloth pads or using something else that isn't a disposable pad. Having something cold down there after delivery is so amazing.
  
  
• Reusable breast pads. This is especially true if you fall into the category mentioned above of people who have sensitives to disposable menstrual pads. Apparently disposable nursing pads are made with something similar?
  
  
• Get a donut pillow to sit on for those first couple of days home if you have a vaginal delivery. Alternatively, if you have a mini snoogle you can use that. This is so important. It was the only way I was able to sit without tremendous pain those first couple of days home.

Counseling is great (if you find a counselor you like), another idea to complement it:

Read a few books together on the topic:

- The Second Shift

It is structured around parents who both work outside the home -- but you also have a second (and third) shift working in the home, and it might help shift his perspective and spur discussion.

All Joy and No Fun: The Paradox of Modern Parenthood by Jennifer Senior

Baby Makes Three

Disclaimer, the only one I've started reading yet out of the three is The Second Shift. I'm really just sharing my plan with you :P

​

Another thing that has helped in my relationship is making specific, concrete requests, and putting them on a schedule.

So, for you it could be:

- I will need a nap multiple times a week due to first trimester exhaustion. Can you either watch the kid or arrange childcare when I need this rest?

- He should bring you a treat once a week as a token of the stuff you're giving up (flowers, special dessert, organic rasperries, foot rub, give him a list of things that would float your boat).

Can definitely recommend this one:

https://www.amazon.com/Graco-Playard-Bassinet-Changer-Rocking/dp/B005UV0USQ/ref=sr_1_1_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1484625131&sr=8-1&keywords=pack+n+play+cuddle+cove

This was my older daughter's main crib until she turned 2. As a newborn in a small apartment, we loved having the little "cuddle cove," which served as her bouncy seat/rock n' play and the changing table was nice for the first few weeks to have right next to my bed. It comes with a little diaper organizer that attaches, plus an attachable nightlight which was awesome for checking if she was breathing without waking her up, plus changing those midnight diapers without turning all the lights on. Plus it's cute and matches my bedroom decor :) Can't wait to get it out again for #2.

Congratulations!!!!! I read Magical Beginnings, Enchanted Lives by Deepak Chopra. It's a good book on pregnancy and offers some good tips on relaxation, nutrition, etc. It's kind of a holistic, eastern meets western philosophy book. I really enjoyed this because it treats your pregnancy as a beautiful journey.

For babies, I have read [Secrets of the Baby Whisperer] (http://www.amazon.com/Secrets-Baby-Whisperer-Connect-Communicate/dp/0345479092/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1374606157&sr=1-2&keywords=baby+whisperer) and Happiest Baby on the Block. Both came highly recommended by other moms.

Seconded - when I was pregnant I LOVED Baby Bargains.

This gift will help her save money and not feel overwhelmed about all the choices of baby gear.

I would get the Baby Bargains book and The Pregnancy Instruction Manual. It's an easy, entertaining, funny read.
http://www.amazon.com/Pregnancy-Instruction-Manual-Troubleshooting-Parents/dp/1594742456/ref=pd_sim_b_2?ie=UTF8&refRID=1BN4W2EAEGN45HWCJXM5

Queen Rose is just over $50. It works in a lot of positions, and can be used as a nursing pillow later. https://www.amazon.com/Queen-Rose-Shaped-Pregnancy-Removable/dp/B01B5ITZ4M

I wasn't expecting it to feel so good. I'm super comfy. Like when I wake up I can't feel any weight on any of my body, it's like I'm floating in warm jelly. And it's so much easier to turn over in the night, I don't have to move anything but myself. Before I had a pillow under my head, a pillow hugged to my chest, and a pillow between my knees. This is all of those things, on both sides, so you just turn over and you're done. It's really nice.

I'm going to use this thing every night until baby's here, take it camping, and bring it to the hospital. I don't think it's amazing quality, but time will tell. Even if I destroy it by the time the baby comes, I think it will be well worth the price. If I get to use it as a nursing pillow, I'll go from very impressed to avid fan girl.

I’m so sorry you’re having such a rough go. :( Whoever decided to call it morning sickness was very cruel for giving us that expectation.

I’ve only thrown up maybe 3 or 4 times now (and I’m 9 weeks tomorrow), but I’m nauseous almost constantly. I’ve gotten a lot of relief from sucking on ginger candies , drinking peppermint tea, Preggie Pop Drops, and eating very small meals throughout the day when the nausea lets up a little bit.

If you’re having trouble eating enough, I’d definitely recommend some protein shakes and Clif bars. When I know I need some calories/protein/sugar, those two things help a lot. And since they’re generally small portions with a lot of nutrition, I feel they hold me over. I’ve also really enjoyed smoothies when I feel my blood sugar might be low but I can’t handle a full meal.

I hope this helps, and that you find some relief soon!

Your husband is a douchebag. Sorry. When he can carry and push a baby out of HIS hoo-ha, he can freakin' decide what birth he wants. His resistance/ambivalence to your plan/emotions/desires just really blows. If I were in your position, I'd be so effing pissed. It really doesn't matter what research your provide him. It is really easy to critique all research. If he's made up his mind and is deadset...well, what can you do?

Require that he read these two books:

• http://www.amazon.com/Childbirth-without-Fear-Principles-Practice/dp/0953096467/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1314615929&sr=8-3
  
  
• http://www.amazon.com/Husband-Coached-Childbirth-Fifth-Bradley-Natural/dp/055338516X/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1314616093&sr=1-2
  
  I had 2 of 3 of my girls at a free-standing birth center with a certified nurse midwife. I wish I had just used a certified midwife and had a homebirth. Yeah, my births were great. They could have been better. Birthing at home, IMO, would have been much more comfie.
  
  I had to have an emergency induction for my third because my water was low. There is a time and place for medicalization of the birth--and that time is when it becomes dangerous. Birth, itself, is not a dangerous process. I hated my hospital birth. I felt like goddamn prisoner. They had this two page checklist of tasks that they were requiring I complete before they would allow me to check out. What? Seriously? After I gave birth at the birth center, I was able to go climb into my own bed at home in two hours. And I delivered in what was supposedly the most baby-friendly maternity ward in the COUNTRY: Loma Linda University Medical Center. Jesus, if that is the most baby-friendly maternity ward in the country, the whole country has a long way to go. Yeah, sure, they do rooming-in; tons of free breastfeeding paraphernalia; and beautiful, spacious, private post-partum rooms, but there is so much more to birthing and bonding than that!
  
  My eldest daughter summed it up nicely when she asked me why a birthing friend chose to have her birth at a hospital, "Why is she going to the hospital? She's not sick."
  
  Also, my husband was on board with the midwife because his mother had completely safe births using midwives, also.
  
  Edited for formatting.

Kimono-style shirts for while cord is still attached.

https://www.amazon.com/Gerber-Birdseye-3-Ply-Prefold-Diapers/dp/B007VBYVWE/ref=sr_1_1_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1487257675&sr=8-1&keywords=cloth+diaper
These are great as burp cloths and wiping up milk while feeding.

Muslin blankets are our favorite. I got a 4-pack of Aden & Anais blankets and we use them every day. They were good for swaddling early on. They don't take up a lot of space.

Scratch mitts! Your baby will scratch its face otherwise.

We barely used our bathtub. You could probably skip it for now and just sponge bathe your baby as needed. They don't get really dirty and frequent baths dries out their skin anyway. I sponge bathe once or twice a week.

A few pacifiers to try. Our kiddo likes the Dr. Browns.

Saline spray for when you use the Nose Frieda.

Cold mist humidifier if your air is dry.

Nursing pillow. Nipple ointment. Nursing tanks for you.

I just use a towel on the bed for diaper changes.

Subscribe to Enfamil and Similac and they'll send you formula sample containers, so you can just keep something on hand in case you need to or choose to supplement at some point.

DAPPLE! This cleans bottle parts a lot better than regular dish soap.

Ina May's Guide to Childbirth and Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way have been two fantastic resources for me. I highly recommend them if you're more into the natural side of childbirth, and I even found them to be a great prep for what's to come even though I haven't really made my mind up about natural vs. ... whatever else happens that day lol. But I felt that they gave a more accurate (and positive) description of what birth is like than any other source I've read so far.

EDIT: for links

Sympathy on the insurance/pediatrician front ... my hospital let me preregister without actually filling out that part of the form, though now I'm thinking I'd better check with my insurance and make sure that's ok with them!

For baby bathtubs my sister gave us the standard cheap blue tub which looks like it will work in the sink too, but we'd also looked at this one which seemed compact yet roomy enough for an older baby because it's more upright. But I haven't tried either out yet.

Oh and for furniture, I've had a good experience with Schneiderman's (several locations around town), but I have heard of other people getting delayed delivery. Some friends went to Becker Furniture and seemed happy.

I'd highly recommend reading "And Baby Makes Three" by John and Julie Gottman. Or, they also have a workshop called "Bringing Baby Home" which is wonderful prenatally or postpartum.

The few things we did with my first that was VERY helpful, was:

1. We set one time every week to check in, and that stayed consistent. We do a Sunday lunch together as a family, and asked, very deliberately "How are you doing?". This was awesome because it meant I didn't bring things up in the heat of the sleep-deprived moment. If it still bothered me by Sunday, I brought it up.
   
2. We figured out what Three things we needed for our own mental health. For my husband, that's a shower, exercise, and sunlight (also, sleep). For me, it was a four hour stretch of sleep, getting outside, and space when I'm "touched out".
   
3. Hearing "You're right, it's not fair, you are taking on more than me" was the most relieving thing I had heard at any given point.
   
4. (in retrospect) Muddle through, be as kind as you can, and it'll get better eventually.
   
   I found that most executive functioning, communicating well, maintaining my ability to laugh at myself were nigh impossible in the toughest of times. We totally got through it, but we didn't have the connection we do now. I anticipate that with trying to manage the needs of two little ones, my own, and my husbands, we're in for another rocky number of months, but I do feel confident we'll reach the other side.

I started Expexting Better but I'm not a numbers/data person so it came across as irritating to me. Tons of people like it and recommend it though so it's worth a shot!

My midwife recommended Ina May's Guide to Childbirth and The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth. A doula friend recommended anything by Dr. Sears.

We read Husband Coached Childbirth and took the class and it focused heavily on its relaxation methods and had a few exercises that are not difficult but have made a difference in my comfort. Mostly kegels and pelvic rocks. But the relaxation practice is key for getting through contractions. I've also heard good things about hypnobirthing but haven't looked much into it.

My hospital offered a deal where you can do the 5-week childbirth class, the one-time newborn care class, and the one-time breastfeeding class for $90.

There's also an organization here called Healthy Start that offers free classes. We're doing the free childbirth class now, and will take a combo of breastfeeding/newborn care in August.

The downside of these classes is you don't get the specialized methods you would get from a private instructor, like Bradley or hypnobabies. The class we're in has been very general, although still helpful... mainly because the instructor is very familiar with the hospital where I'm delivering, so she has given us a lot of hospital-specific tips.

EDIT: I'm also going for natural, and this book was recommended to me. The pictures are pretty dated, but so far I do like the content!

It’s beautiful but I agree with your friend. My LO is only 5 days old and I’ve spent more time in the glider than anywhere else. Comfort is key. Is there somewhere else in your house you can put it?

This is the one I have and it has been a dream.

John Gottman's And Baby Makes Three is a great guide to preserving your relationship with your SO. Husband and I read it together, and we found it very reassuring and helpful. It started several thoughtful, productive conversations about our expectations for this journey and how we will support each other through it.

If these are the ones you're talking about on Amazon, I bought them. They're not particularly attractive, but they're comfortable and supportive. I'm a 36C heading towards D now, for reference- I think if I was much bigger, I would need more support. I also think the pads will get a little bumpy as I keep washing them, but I'm going to switch them out for nursing pads soon anyway so I'm not too concerned. For $25 bucks, they work and like another bumper said, I don't want to spend too much money till my milk actually comes in and my boobs explode.

No issue with traveling at this point... I travel for work and have had my fair share of running to the bathroom with nausea with my last pregnancy.

To make things easier for you, check almost all your bags if at all possible. Make note of your OB's on call nurse line. You'll want that :) Carry some extra plastic bags. I carried gallon sized zip lock bags for a while in case of emergencies. I also carried a ton of small snacks and water and tums. Those things helped make travel easier for me. Make sure you get up and walk around at least once an hour.

As far as books go, I second the mayo guide to a healthy pregnancy, Natural Hospital Birth, and Art of Breastfeeding. I have PCOS so I picked up a diet book for pregnancy for PCOSers as well.

Edit: I second the pregnancy pops and ginger ale too.

Double Edit: If you are uncomfortable going through the scanners you can ask for a pat down instead of going through the scanner. The TSA people are totally understanding about this.

I've read several; my favorite one is The Nursing Mother's Companion. It's straightforward and comprehensive. (I'm also going to buy her Nursing Mother, Working Mother book.)

The standard The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding is also a good one; however, if you're going to be a working mom like me, you have to read around the judgy parts. It's clearly biased toward SAHMs and full-on attachment parenting - not that those are bad things at all, but that dynamic of the book might not be for everyone.

KellyMom is one of the best breastfeeding websites out there, and there's also a sub here: r/breastfeeding.

I actually hate my snoogle, and haven't used it successfully once, but I am 5'10". I've read comments from other tall girls that it doesn't work right for us. However, I LOVE my wedge pillow, and I always have it under my bump every night.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01N06ZFIX/ref=cm_sw_r_tw_dp_x_19jizb1ZVCPCZ

I also use it to prop my laptop on and it's AWESOME.

I didn't realize how much Preggie Pops were helping me until I ran out of them! They're a little pricey, and I haven't tried other hard sour candies, but they definitely help me a lot. They make ones with vitamin B6 too. I also got ginger candies which help too, but I don't like the taste.

Thanks for the advice!! And for the Silicone Breast Pump!! link for the u.s.

I actually had no idea that this was even a thing until my mom had mentioned something to me the other day. She told me I would have to put a towel or something over my other breast while the baby was eating. I had NO IDEA!! So, this thing is going on my registry.

Also, she's SUPER ADORABLE!! I love those eyes!!

My midwife recommended The Birth Partner to my husband - she said it's amazing and she recommends it to every birth partner that walks into her office.


There's also The Bradley Method - which is husband-coached childbirth. I've heard good things, but my husband wasn't too into this method since he thinks he might crack.

I'm reading HypnoBirthing now and relaying everything I learn to him. I'm going to pick up The Birth Partner for him from my midwife's lending library for him to read and we're also going to start watching HypnoBirthing classes on YouTube - I'm really hoping that'll be good for us.

I second this! Baby isn't quite here yet, but we have it setup and LOVE it.

For reference

I had a less expensive two piece on my registry at first, but my mom convinced me that if I was going to splurge on something in the nursery, this would be the furniture to do it on... I have a feeling that she's right.

Okay. Baby brain, had to actually google it. The brand is Serola. Here's an amazon link: https://www.amazon.com/Serola-Sacroiliac-Hip-Belt-Medium/dp/B000NIFVLW/ref=sr_1_1_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1482089010&sr=8-1&keywords=serola%2Bsi%2Bbelt&th=1

I'm on mobile in the bathtub currently, so my apologies if that doesn't link easily! It's an expensive belt, so if you can get it through insurance, that's the way to go. I have two and alternate them. This one is nice because you do have the option of wearing it against your skin( mine is too sensitive) and its washable. I alternate between two of them. I have one for work and one for home/sleep.

Also, for all the ladies on this sub, women's health physical therapy is a thing! They are going to help you out better than any regular PT like myself, especially if you have issues postpartum!!! I went to one myself because this pain was out of my league!

I'm a side sleeper who has slept with a pillow between her knees for the past decade or so. I tried a body pillow and hated it (too bulky, too heavy, too hard to change sides or positions) and figured a giant pregnancy pillow would be even worse. Plus, I like snuggling with my husband in the night. I ended up with the boppy wedge pillow and love it. It's not bulky, but I can shove it under my belly for support. It's easy to move when I switch positions, doesn't prevent snuggling, and, as a bonus, fits easily into a suitcase for travel.

I haven't given birth yet, but I've really enjoyed Natural Hospital Birth: The Best of Both Worlds.

My baby is due this week so I'm not speaking from experience, but everything I have heard says wait on the nursing bras. You won't know how big you're going to get until your milk comes in. I've already gone up from an A to a C, but I know when my milk comes in I will probably go up another cup size. I went out and bought three different bras in different sizes to have when I come home from the hospital (who wants to go bra shopping with a week old?). After the baby is a few weeks old and I know my size I will go out and get more.

As far as maternity bras, depending on your size and needed level of support, I would get something soft and stretchy that can grow with you - again, how big the ladies will get is up in the air. I did like these underwear. They run really small, so buy up.

PIDAY Women's Under the Bump Cotton Maternity Hipsters Panties Multi Pack https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01GPWF81C/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apip_nVoKtEtHCOZrz

I'm sure there are a ton of other things you will need from Amazon. How about maternity clothes? Burt's Bees Belly Butter? Boppy wedge pillow for sleeping (life saving!)

Boppy Pregnancy Wedge with Jersey Slipcover, Scalloped Trellis White https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01N06ZFIX/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_LHMWzb55NVRVX

My chest seems to be going through yet another growth spurt at 32 weeks, so I bought [this well reviewed 3-pack of nursing bras](Women's Full Cup Lightly Padded Wirefree Maternity Breastfeeding Nursing Bra Size L, 3PCS/Pack(Pink-Black-Beige) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01EFNPD7W/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_FNsAybWFAQS96) on Amazon. They haven't arrived yet, but they look comfy enough to wear for the next two months of maternity and then get me started in the postpartum time. For what it's worth, I started with a 34C pre-pregnancy and am now probably a 38D. My L sized sports bras still fit just fine. I switched to bras with no underwire by week 10 due to boob growth.

We had the very basic sling-style one (https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000067EH7). Worked just fine, never had issues with the sling. My LO was pretty petite at 6.5lbs, I think I remember other moms in my bumper group saying they had issues with bigger babies not fitting quite right.

My biggest bath-time tip is to run a hot shower before bringing baby in so the room gets warm and steamy. My LO loved baths - it was like spa time for him!

4th degree tear here, it gets better but it feels like it won't for a while.
I was given an inflatable cushion to sit on and I absolutely had to use it while sitting.

There were days when I really didn't think I was healing, and then around 6 weeks I started feeling way better, by 8 weeks I felt almost normal. It sounds like a long time when you're in the bleeding shit hole that is post-partum, but it will blur together.


I bought the fridababy momwasher (https://www.amazon.com/FridaBaby-006-Fridababy-Fridet-MomWasher/dp/B00VO65XB0)
I liked it better than the perri bottle.


Those ice packs the hospital gives out were essential for the first couple days, then I used witch hazel pads and dermoplast on huge hospital pads. They helped cool everything down and stop itching.

Take motrin for the pain and stool softeners for longer than you think you have to. I stopped because I thought the first poo was the part I had to worry about and regretted it.

Drink a ton of water, this is not nether region related but my ankles reaaallly swelled about 4 days PP and the only cure was drinking a ton of water. Be sure you remember to eat. With learning how to breast feed and being in pain, I didn't want to eat PP either.

Good luck and enjoy the babe!

The one I use is called Serola. I find though it doesn't help much with sitting but helps with walking around quite a bit. Sitting for long periods killed me. I ended up leaving my desk job on short term disability around week 34. Alternating sitting/standing/laying down at home works best. Lots of pelvic floor exercises. Also just keeping your legs together as much as possible. I find rolling over in bed much easier is i squeeze the pillow between my legs tightly. Getting out of the car I keep my legs together and swing around to get out. Really just thinking about basic movements like this has helped the pain a lot. Also the pubis/SI joints can move out easily so avoid anything too heavy especially weight being carried unevenly. (For example a laundry basket on one hip) Try and keep your hips centered as much as you can. Hope this helps, here is a link to the belt I use.

http://www.amazon.com/Serola-Sacroiliac-Belt-Medium-34-40/dp/B000NIFVLW/ref=sr_1_25?ie=UTF8&qid=1396204989&sr=8-25&keywords=back+support+belt

My hope is to do a natural, hospital birth. I'm currently reading this book and am feeling assured by it. The hospital we are using allows women to labor in positions other than their backs and they let you adjust the lights/have music/take showers/walk/etc. My mother had four natural births in the 70's all under 8 hours from start to finish and my sister has had similarly quick and uncomplicated births, so I am hopeful. I'm thinking of hiring a doula as well to handle some of the advocacy issues.

It worked out great actually! I figured that most people have a target nearby and for those that would prefer to online shop, there was Amazon. I also found better deals on certain items on Amazon vs target. The bath tub we have is - The Blue Tub We don't fill it up every time we bath LO we just put him in the sling part and pour water over him (and keep a washcloth on his belly to keep him warm).

If she's interested in a natural birth, read Husband Coached Childbirth and The Birth Partner - they're what you would learn in a Bradley Method Class. There are a lot of good tips for making your wife feel comfortable while she's in labor.

http://www.amazon.com/Husband-Coached-Childbirth-Fifth-Edition-Bradley/dp/055338516X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1343354598&sr=8-1&keywords=husband+coached+childbirth

http://www.amazon.com/Birth-Partner-Third-Childbirth-Companions/dp/1558323570/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1343354644&sr=1-1&keywords=the+birth+partner

I'm planning a natural birth in a hospital, too! So far my only preparation has been reading Ina May's books and I really enjoyed the book Natural Hospital Birth. I also plan to hire a doula who has tons of experience working at my particular hospital. We plan to have 2 formal meetings before birth to talk about how the transfer will go and get reassurance about dressing/eating/drinking/moving/vocalizing however I want once I'm there. Having a doula with me continuously through labor is really important to me!

I am planning a VBAC in September. /u/Dubaus pointed you in a good direction. In addition to Ina May, I read The VBAC Companion which I found very informative and helpful.

I also hired a doula because I am planning on having a hospital birth with a very large OB group. While my OB is extremely VBAC friendly, not all of her partners are, and it's not guaranteed that she'll be at my daughter's birth. She is the one who suggested it actually. I'm also going to labor at home for as long as possible to avoid unnecessary interventions. Along that line, another book I read if you are having a hospital birth is Natural Hospital Birth.

Hope this helps!

Wow. That is awful!

Did you get a hand pump as a back up after that? It’s a good back up for folks that can’t afford a full second pump.

I’ve heard good things about the Haakaa and put it on my registry.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B01F8W7CF0/ref=mp_s_a_1_2_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1527714056&sr=8-2&keywords=haakaa+breastpump&dpPl=1&dpID=51y0lBYeyEL&ref=plSrch

Honestly? I feel VERY well informed about my pregnancy and have used very few books. My resources have been:

• This sub
  
• Google (for symptoms/immunization info/basically to look up any term or concept I don't understand)
  
• Ovia App (to check out what's happening developmentally each week)
  
• Youtube (for things like birth videos, or doula/midwife/hospital pregnancy & birth classes)
  
  The two books DH and I have enjoyed are more 'user manual' type books. Hugely informative, but easy/fun reads and not preachy:
  
  https://www.amazon.com/Baby-Owners-Manual-Instructions-Trouble-Shooting/dp/1594745978
  https://www.amazon.com/Pregnancy-Instruction-Manual-Troubleshooting-Parents/dp/1594742456/
  
  This was hugely helpful with the early ultrasounds - trying to figure out what they're doing, and what i'm seeing on the screen:
  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zGC_RPqCKuU&t=508s
  
  

I would like to second The Baby Owner's Manual for your boyfriend.

I recently got the Caring for Your Baby and Young Child, 6th Edition: Birth to Age 5, which is a great reference for all sorts of "what do I do about this?" questions. It's written by the American Academy of Pediatrics.

I also really like The American Academy of Pediatrics New Mother's Guide to Breastfeeding and The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding for some basic step-by-step suggestions for starting breastfeeding and continuing at different ages.

I am a fan of Graco pack and plays that have the basinet and changing table attached. It's perfect for the first few months when the baby sleeps in your room and take up so little space for their function.

Here's one I like: https://www.amazon.com/Graco-Playard-Bassinet-Changer-Rocking/dp/B005UV0USQ/ref=sr_1_4_s_it?s=baby-products&ie=UTF8&qid=1481487182&sr=1-4&keywords=graco+pack+and+play

Sure! I wanted to wait until after baby was here to invest in good nursing bras as I know my size will probably change so I didn't mind going the cheap route for the last few weeks.

Women's Full Cup Lightly Padded Wirefree Maternity Breastfeeding Nursing Bra Size L, 3PCS/Pack(Pink-Black-Beige) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01EFNPD7W/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_vTQqzbPRVB3SN

I loved these Hofish ones when I was pregnant and also love them now for breastfeeding (although I’ve now replaced the pads in them with some bamboobies pads).

I got the Boppy Pregnancy Wedge. I read about all the different pregnancy pillows and just couldn't see spending the money on a big one that I may not end up using. I used it to support my preggo belly mostly, but it can also support the back. Personally, if I needed any other support I'd just use one of my extra bed pillows along with this.

Boppy Pregnancy Wedge with Jersey Slipcover, Scalloped Trellis White https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01N06ZFIX/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_vASQCb1ECWF30

I also recommend trying to bring baby and husband with you to the wedding for reasons mentioned by other posters.


If you would feel more comfortable with baby at home, I’d recommend getting the haakaa to build up a little supply for when you are gone. You suction it to the opposing breast when breastfeeding and it collects leakage/let down. I wish I had it in the beginning days when I was leaking everywhere. This way you don’t have to worry about pumping!

I'm training to be a psychotherapist so I am biased, but I really think couples therapy should be standard when you're going through a big transition like this - you're smart to identify growing resentment as a threat to your marriage, and it's best to address it early on before it become truly toxic. Too many people wait to go to couples therapy and by the time they do, it's past the point of no return. The marriage expert John Gottman talks about resentment being the #1 killer of marriages, and also wrote a book about maintaining your marriage after a baby called And Baby Makes Three. It would be a good idea to read that book and maybe How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids, which I've gotten many recommendations for. Good luck!

Epidural will also result in a fever after a while.

I was fortunate enough to not get a foley bulb...I feel like so much has changed in the last 10 years, because I'd never heard of it before reading "The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth"

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01EFNPD7W/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apip_VHRTaHsyxVhYk

These are awesome for me. They come with bra extenders because I don't know how big I'll get. I'm 25 weeks. I'm a 36c pre-pregnancy and got a large. They're so comfortable and the pad helps hide my huge pregnancy nipples.

We used this one and were so happy with it
https://www.amazon.com/First-Years-Comfort-Newborn-Toddler/dp/B000067EH7

Great for newborn, infant and toddler. We used it in the sink then moved it to the tub before switching to real tub baths at some point. Thanks lucies list!

We're going to be using this tub. My sister used a similar one for her 5 kids and loved it, it fits pretty much any sink, and is shallow enough I can find a spot to stash it in my older house, which is lacking in storage.

I loved The Bradley book. It's the only book that I've found that has explanations on what muscles, hormones, etc do what during labor, and what baby does during labor with their reflexes, etc. It has a lot of hokey relaxation techniques but I mostly skipped those and just read about the science. Just knowing what your muscles & hormones are doing during labor helps dramatically.

I've been reading The Happiest Baby on the Block and it's made me feel so much more confident about dealing with a fussy/colic-y baby. The basic premise is that babies are actually supposed to stay in the womb for another few months, but need to be birthed early because of their big heads. So they're unprepared to deal with the world, and that makes some of them extra fussy. He goes over a bunch of techniques for recreating the womb experience to calm the baby down- swaddling, shushing, etc.

Thanks! It's from Amazon, here's the link:
Baby Relax Mikayla Swivel Gliding Recliner, Gray Microfiber https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00VAS7QS0/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_TYR7ybJKXNDA0

See also The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth. It addresses all of the issues on this list plus more; in particular, I was interested in the information about the dangerously, stupidly high incidence of C-section in this country. I feel it is much better to educate myself now than to assume my OB is going to make all the best decisions later.

Yep... But since it is huge and overwhelming and reads like a textbook, I also got The Pregnancy Instruction Manual for good info in smaller doses.

This is the one I got and I LOVE it. Even will check a bag just to take with me on a trip! Couldn't sleep without it!
QUEEN ROSE Full Body Pregnancy... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01B5ITZ4M?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share

Yeah! I almost forgot to mention peri bottles my favorite one is the mom washer it's very inexpensive on amazon

I really enjoyed "The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth."

Yes absolutely, not only is it a million times cheaper but it will allow you to get ANY sleep on those nights when they are on different schedules! There are whole sections of the breastfeeding book The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding devoted to nursing twins. It's not any harder than nursing one baby, it just takes a little more time in the beginning when you are nursing on demand to get your supply established. I would call your local LLL leader and ask her for the info of a local mom with twin breastfeeding experience.

this book was a really big help for us, we haven’t given birth yet but reading that helped us have some really good conversations that we were dancing around and to understand what was happening and why.

Yes, I would recommend the book. For me it was very informative about pregnancy, labor, and medications. It is biased on having a natural birth, but like I said, it explains all the other options.

http://smile.amazon.com/Natural-Childbirth-Bradley-Way-Revised/dp/0452276594

The book "The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth" has great research backing its information on birth and the medical interventions that can be performed and what their risks are.

I bought this pillow and I LOVE it. My husband doesn't love it, because it cuts down on our snuggling in the middle of the night, lol, but it makes a huge difference in my sleeping.

I've heard the milk catchers are good for sexy times when we can leak.

I'm going to be using an affordable passive collection silicone pump ( this model ) to collect the milk from my other breast during nursing.

I had an SI joint injury before getting pregnant and it's only gotten worse the more pregnant I've become. The chiropractor provided temporary relief but even that started to fail. I tried stretches, strengthening exercises, heat, ice, massage, and finally physical therapy. The physical therapy helped the most because she taught me how to brace muscles in my abdomen/pelvic floor to minimize movement in my back when I'd have to get up or down. The other thing that took some of the edge off was this belt: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000NIFVLW/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o05_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

There are cheaper ones but this one has been the best in terms of support and not slipping. I still feel pain but I'm at least mobile now and not trapped sitting on a stool in a very specific position or on my side in bed.

I got this one and it is literally the best pillow ever!:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01B5ITZ4M/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_rEbYAbJQRGSMN

Drawer organizers are from IKEA, you get two large squares, two rectangles, and two small squares in a pack for like $7.99 or something. (Found them online: http://m.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/art/30300281/ ) Dresser is the HEMNES from IKEA.

The chair is this one: Baby Relax Mikayla Swivel Gliding Recliner, Gray Microfiber https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00VAS7QS0/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_zz5Qyb39H7W52

This is the one I got I love it.

Queen Rose U Shaped Pregnancy Body Pillow with Zipper Removable Cover (Pink and Blue) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01B5ITZ4M/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_91mfzb7YQZDXJ

I got this one on Amazon (prime) and it's pretty firm!

Preggie Pops (http://www.amazon.com/Three-Lollies-Preggie-Assorted-Sickness/dp/B005AYE8UE) were really helpful for me. They come in herbal favors and sour fruit flavors. Lemon or green apple were my faves.

this book made me excited to have a fussy baby! "Happiest Baby on the Block" by Harvey Karp, MD

We got a pack-n-play set that has a changing table + removable rocker/bassinet thingy from amazon, and that's stationed next to my side of the bed. It's stocked with diapers & wipes. I also have a nursing basket that will travel wherever I decide to feed, with snacks, burp cloths, nipple cream & breast pads right next to it. We're lucky that our nursery is kind of an en suite room off our bedroom, so I can walk 10 steps to the glider if I want to rock little one.

I am doing a modified pelvic tilt and it helps me. I keep my knees not too spread out, lift my butt up as much as I can without it being painful and squeeze.

I am currently lying in bed with my SI belt on! It really helps with getting in and out of bed and tossing/turning. This is the one my PT recommended:
https://www.amazon.ca/Serola-Sacroiliac-Belt-Medium-34-40/dp/B000NIFVLW

Get the vag-sprayer that has the flipped nozzle.

I didn't and then I had carpal tunnel so bad I couldn't feel my fingertips. It wasn't impossible to to use the one the hospital provided but the flipped nozzle would've been easier.

Link for those interested, I've been using it and love it. I tuck the sheet under the 'leg' that's to my back, wrap it over me and this way it gives me back support. Only problem with it is the cover is a pain to get on after washing.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01B5ITZ4M/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_thZOAbEQMWSX4

I would check out this book. Admittedly, I haven't read it in a few years because I bought it when I was pregnant with my son, who is almost 3. But it really helps identify some issues that you might want to have an opinion on, and helps look at some evidence without having a clear bias.

With that being said, no one can stop you from eating if you want to. And if you don't want to fight about it, just go eat in the bathroom ;)

I tried one of those giant u-shaped pillows and disliked it for many of the reasons you said. I ended up with my regular pillow for my head, a body pillow for my legs/hip support, and a boppy wedge pillow under my bump. I really think the wedge helps relieve some of that backache and pressure!

Which Pack and Play did you register for? The one I want has a bouncy chair with it, so I'm not going to register for a separate swing or anything either.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B005UV0USQ?colid=QY2U0MCE4MR4&coliid=I315S19832OJI6&psc=1&ref_=wl_it_dp_o_pd_nS_ttl

So, would this be something like this? https://www.amazon.com/Gerber-Birdseye-3-Ply-Prefold-Diapers/dp/B007VBYVWE/ref=sr_1_3_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1506274314&sr=8-3&keywords=burp+cloths

I liked this book:
http://www.amazon.com/The-Baby-Book-Everything-About/dp/1491518235

Edit: Also http://www.amazon.com/Happiest-Baby-Block-Harvey-Karp/dp/0553381466/ref=pd_sim_b_1?ie=UTF8&refRID=0CS7A9MYGEXRD9AJ9SFT

Don't get too caught up in Sears books though. I don't have nearly as much money as they do, so I will not be able to do all the things they suggest. I still know a lot more now than I did before.

Highly recommend this book for breastfeeding info--
https://www.amazon.com/Womanly-Art-Breastfeeding-Completely-Revised/dp/0345518446/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1510694737&sr=8-1&keywords=womanly+art+of+breastfeeding

This book will help you feel empowered and normalize breastfeeding: The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding

Check out the lansinoh 3in1 breast therapy pads... they help SO MUCH when you're engorged or have a clog.

https://www.amazon.com/Lansinoh-TheraPearl-Breast-Therapy-Count/dp/B0070767DU

This! The pregnancy pillow I bought was around $60. For me, that would have been worth it even for a month of good sleep, but your feelings about this may be different. I bought the Queen Rose pillow: https://www.amazon.com/QUEEN-ROSE-Pregnancy-Maternity-Washable/dp/B01B5ITZ4M/ref=sr_1_3_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1522717223&sr=8-3&keywords=pregnancy%2Bpillow&dpID=41iKKWBiZTL&preST=_SY300_QL70_&dpSrc=srch&th=1

Came here to recommend Penny Simkin's The Birth Partner and Ina May Gaskin's Guide to Childbirth (already recommended) along with Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way.

We used this one. Baby slept in the bassinet all over the house wherever we went. It was never for unsupervised sleeps though, we had an Arm's Reach for that.

Graco Pack 'n Play Playard with Cuddle Cove Rocking Seat, Winslet https://www.amazon.com/dp/B005UV0USQ/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_LZ7EAbMQE08VT

I got these ones

It looks like they're just soft cups you can pull out and put nursing pads in.

Something like this?

I've been wearing these since week 8 or so of my pregnancy. I'm normally a 32DDD or something ridiculous and I'm filling out a size large. I will say- the boob shape it gives you isn't the best but idk how good my boobs could look right now while still wearing a comfy bra. They are massive.

These and these are the ones someone had recommended in a previous thread

I went with this one. A lot of moms in my Facebook mom group raved about it and it's through Amazon Prime, so easy to return if things don't work out :D

According to Henci Goer there is documented links with the hormonal balance and synthetic interventions.

Not exactly a parenting book per se but it does deal with the transition to parenthood and parenting:

https://www.amazon.com/Baby-Makes-Three-Preserving-Rekindling/dp/140009738X

This book is amazing.

how about this?

Physical therapy, consistently doing stretches she gave me, a [Serola belt] (https://www.amazon.com/Serola-Sacroiliac-Hip-Belt-Medium/dp/B000NIFVLW/ref=sr_1_1_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1500244574&sr=8-1&keywords=serola+sacroiliac+hip+belt?) on walks, prenatal yoga, a Snoogle.

https://www.amazon.com/Three-Lollies-Preggie-Assorted-Sickness/dp/B005AYE8UE

This was the brand I personally had but I also used Wint o'green Lifesavers too

I've got my eye on this one. We're probably going to have to downsize a few months after the baby is born, so I'm looking for things that are multi-use and that we will use through multiple stages.

I think this is it?
https://www.amazon.com/Baby-Relax-Mikayla-Upholstered-Recliner/dp/B00VAS7QS0/ref=sr_1_4?s=home-garden&ie=UTF8&qid=1479760687&sr=1-4&keywords=grey+recliner

https://www.amazon.com/FridaBaby-006-Fridababy-Fridet-MomWasher/dp/B00VO65XB0/ref=asc_df_B00VO65XB0/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=198079638645&hvpos=1o2&hvnetw=g&hvrand=8437128229911092654&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9005292&hvtargid=pla-393808505021&psc=1

I bought the Fridet

The hospital will also give me a peri bottle, so I plan on keeping one in each bathroom so I'm not carrying it around.

I got this one as soon as I found out I was pregnant because I was a hardcore stomach sleeper. Now I can't sleep without it!

This one https://www.amazon.com/Queen-Rose-Shaped-Pregnancy-Removable/dp/B01B5ITZ4M

these helped me a bit. Also, peppermint lifesavers. Ultimately, my doctor gave me a prescription for diclegis. This may just be an old wives' tale but I always heard that tough morning sickness was a sign that the pregnancy was going to stick. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you guys.

For less messy amazon links you can extract the part after "/dp/" in

https://www.amazon.com/Lansinoh-TheraPearl-Breast-Therapy-Count/dp/B0070767DU/ref=sr_1_3_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1484417101&sr=8-3&keywords=breast+gel+pads

and make it:

https://amzn.com/B0070767DU

Or via smile link:

https://smile.amazon.com/dp/B0070767DU

___

BEEP BOP

Plz send any recommendations to my owner via PM

Are you going to a physical therapist? I have sciatica and several herniated discs in my back. I've been going once a month up until recently, and we've upped to once every two weeks (due to increased pain bc my body is finally changing - I didn't show until late, I'm 24 weeks now and still barely showing). We expect to be once, or even twice, a week by the time I'm delivering.

Edit to add: My PT had me get a SI joint band (I got this one from amazon https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000NIFVLW) that I wear whenever I walk long distances - so I can still take our pupper for a walk and stuff. It's magic - if I forget to put it on I can hardly walk a mile, if I wear it I can walk however far I want. It's to help combat the relaxin spreading my hips apart, which causes pain when you do a lot of walking bc they're out of alignment.

I had a natural birth in a hospital. I think as long as you go in there knowing exactly what you want and your husband is on the same page so he can be your advocate when you can't do it yourself you will get everything you need.

I decided to use the Bradley Method (husband coached childbirth) for my labor. I really think it helped, I didn't take the classes but I bought 2 books about it. I felt prepared with the information I had.

As soon as I went in I made it known to everyone what I wanted. No meds, intermittent monitoring and necessary staff only. Literally the only person I saw the whole time was my nurse every couple hours. My water broke before I got to the hospital but no contractions, they literally walked in with pitocin and if I didn't know any better I would have let them give it to me! I told them I didn't want it, the doctor let me know that was ok but if by midnight I didn't start contracting I had to or baby was at risk. Luckily by 7pm everything got going on its own, I labored for 12 hours in the dark with my husband by my side and only saw any other hospital staff when I pushed, as soon as my baby was born everyone left the room and we got 2 hours together alone to nurse and get some rest.

So... movies, tv and other works of fiction are seriously NOT where you'd want to get childcare or healthcare advice. Even if they're correct, it's a coincidence. Even internet research needs to be read with a critical eye.

Google and read about SIDS. Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. And talk to your OB and/or Pediatrician when your child is born if there are special circumstances involved.

Generally, the advice nowadays is to always have the baby sleep on its back. With no blankets, a firm mattress with just a fitted sheet and no bumpers, even. The idea is to keep airflow open at the baby's face.

Humans have a reflex where if they don't get enough oxygen, they wake up or their bodies just force themselves to breathe. But this reflex is apparently not very well developed in infants, so they might be ... just stopping.

That said, babies do seem to prefer sleeping on their fronts and sides - source: Harvey Karp, MD., Happiest Baby on the Block.

Mine is probably going to be a back sleeper, unless there's a reason why she can't... but if I'm rocking her to sleep in my arms, she might be on her side or front.

There are a lot of things that can make breast feeding hard. When I had my first, we failed at breastfeeding and I felt horrible about it for years. Through this pregnancy I have been watching tons of breastfeeding tutorials and reading all I can about it. I definitely had DMER, a condition related to breastfeeding that, at the time "didn't exist".

Babies can have lip and tongue ties, making a good latch impossible. Having a poor latch can be painful, leading to cracks and blisters.

Mothers can be pressured not to feed on demand, reducing supply. Having uneducated support or negative support can really hurt the chances of succeeding at breastfeeding.

All that can be hard for SAHMs. Add in working, pumping, and the pressure that comes with it and it gets really hard. In a perfect world all jobs would meet standards and support pumping moms, but this world isn't perfect. At my job that I had with my second, I had to pump in a supply room which was a swing open door. There was a surveillance camera pointed right at me. Not to mention that I had no backup and would constantly get interrupted.

At this point you should build up your knowledge about your rights and how to succeed. Remember that as with any "women's issue" there is this expectation that if you're a real woman you have the information built into you, and if you fail, it's all about your inability to complete a simple lady task. While in reality there is a lot that can go wrong and good information is something you have to demand.

I suggest the womanly art of breastfeeding (Amazon link) and YouTube videos hosted by lactation consultants like oasis lactation