(Part 2) Top products from r/Blackfellas

I would advise you to read alot. Like, alot alot. If you do the wrong thing in a scene it can really screw the person up.

Coconut oil is your friend. It's a good lubricant, it makes rope less grating on the skin, you should use it if you decide to get into wax play.


https://bdsmgeekshop.com/ is a good shop for beginners. Do note that they source some of their things from China (i've found their supplier. If you know how to use taobao.)

http://www.ohjoysextoy.com/ is easy to understand reading material. (they're comics) You might find something you want to try.

Communication is key really. You should always be talking to your partner about this stuff. Even in the middle of the act. "Is this too tight? Did I hit you too hard? Are you comfortable with this? Do you remember your safe word? You can say no, if I'm pushing too hard."

BDSM is alot more about trust than it is about sex.

Be sure to read about aftercare, that's one of the most important things to do.

Read this stuff (if you want)

https://www.amazon.com/She-Comes-First-Thinking-Pleasuring/dp/0060538260/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1501800170&sr=8-1&keywords=cunninglingus

Just do alot of reading.

You can get into your local kink scene on Fetlife. Just be aware that since you're a black man, you'll 100% be fetishized with all the stereotypes. Be sure to be clear about things you want and don't want. Always tell someone where you're going(If you have an iPhone keep your location services on and tell a friend you iCloud log in information), always meet in a public place.

Reading the following for at risk youths for a program my local library runs afterschool:

• Binti by Nnedi Okorafor | Highly recommend this one as it is very short and incredibly poignant, particularly for young men/women of color, but still meaningful for anyone.
  
• The Three Musketeers by Alexandre Dumas | You cannot go wrong with a classic like this.
  
• Shadowshaper by Daniel Jose Older | This one is also meant for young men/women of color, I love it, especially for creatives.
  
• Underground Airlines by Ben Winters | I actually just finished reading this one. I'll let it's blurb speak for it: "It is the present-day, and the world is as we know it: smartphones, social networking and Happy Meals. Save for one thing: the Civil War never occurred."
  
  Currently reading for myself:
  
  
• Age of Myth by Michael J. Sullivan
  
• Sweet Silver Blues by Glen Cook
  
• The Liminal People by Ayize Jama-Everett
  
  And then I'm reading a bunch of comics/graphic novels, but these are the ones I'm really enjoying at the moment:
  
  
• God Country by Cates Shaw and Wordie Hill
  
• Chew by John Layman and Rob Guillory.
  
• The Wicked + The Divine by Gillen McKelvie and Wilson Cowles
  
• Southern Bastards by Jason Aaron and Jason Latour

Some more information:

The woman who took the original photo also photographed the cover and copyright information. The name of this textbook is Prentice Hall Classics: A History of the United States by Daniel J. Boorstin and Brooks Mather Kelley, and this edition was published in 2007. Here's how Amazon describes it:

> Prentice Hall proudly introduces Classics— collection of our most beloved and timeless programs. The Prentice Hall Classics line brings back some of our bestselling programs with the added benefits of a new reduced price and an updated copyright. With Classics, you can count on: solid traditional instruction, a proven approach and sequence to the content, a return to your favorite program, and more value!

> A History of the United States' well-told story and classroom-tested resources are designed to address your changing curriculum needs. Exceptionally written by distinguished author Dr. Daniel J. Boorstin, along with Brooks Mather Kelley, the program incorporates key themes that help students develop a sound understanding of American history.

The first edition of this textbook was published in 1983. When it was revised in 1989, the publishing company forced them to revise the sections on slavery and the CRM due to racism. Several comments from the original tweet suggest that this passage came from the 1992 edition, though I'm not sure anyone's done a true comparison (but if this is post-revision, what did it look like before?!)

Also, Daniel J. Boorstin died in 2004 and Brooks Mather Kelley died in 2013.

Edit: Also, this woman's daughter is in a public charter school in Texas.

Back before I got married I enjoyed going out.

I'm 5'10, medium heavy build, I think I'm pretty handsome. I can't dance, but I can out dress most people, even my boys. Back when I was clubbing multiple nights a week, I'd usually be slightly overdressed. It was always an icebreaker.

Confidence is the key. I read this book at 18. I'm high right now and can't remember how to put links.

https://www.amazon.com/AskMen-com-Presents-Bar-Bedroom-Pleasuring/dp/0061208523

It's corny, but it definitely helped my game.

Currently reading two books:

Watchmen - Reluctant to admit this is my first time getting around to reading it. Loving it so far.

and

Equal Justice Under Law - The autobiography of Constance Baker Motley. She penned the original complaint in the Brown v. Board of Education case. She was also the first Black woman to argue a case in front of the Supreme Court.

As someone in tech, these interviews don't really test smarts, programming skills, or IQ. Just that you can grind leetcode.

Tech interviews are all really just a game with a huge amount of luck involved. Sometimes you get all problems you've heard before with lenient interviews, sometimes you get a bunch of leetcode hards with interviewers who expect you to write a proof before solving it. I definitely wouldn't consider someone smarter or dumber then me based on how they did in an interview.

It's tough after a rejection but it's good that you're going to keep applying. Time is on your side and Google will probably be knocking on your door again in 6 to 9 months anyway.

As far as impostor syndrome I'd recommend reading this book https://www.amazon.com/Mindset-Psychology-Carol-S-Dweck/dp/0345472322

It barely mentions impostor syndrome specifically but the skills taught in it are almost directly related.

Here is a very good book. It details the white racial foundation of feminism in relation to white supremacy and more. I highly recommend everyone read it.

Here is a link to the book:
https://www.amazon.com/White-Womens-Rights-Origins-Feminism/dp/0195124669

Trying to cop a new laptop but I'm stuck between 2. Idk if anyone knows anything about laptops but I'd appreciate some opinions if anyone does

Samsung Notebook 7 with 512gb - $600

Microsoft Surface Laptop 3 with 256gb - $950

Both are 13" with 8 gigs of RAM. Both have i5 chips too but Samsung is 8th gen vs 10th gen on the Surface. Honestly I kinda want the Surface I'm just trying to justify the extra $350

> It's no accident that women report on surveys that they have the best talks with their partners under three conditions: on the phone (they don't see him piddling around to reduce his excess arousal)

This is what makes me dread going from a long distance relationship to living with my SO. I am a pretty good listener, and I do pay attention to her. But that's because right now I have the space to do stuff other than just sit there and be awkward as fuck. This will obviously change when I live with her and she's going to feel slighted because I'm not giving her my undivided attention.

I read a book earlier this year/end of last year: "You Just Don't Understand: Women and Men in Conversation" by Deborah Tannen. This book also reflected my experiences as a man pretty well by saying that boys grow up in a hierarchical culture of masculinity. The way we navigate our world is based on somehow getting on top or positioning ourselves as some sort of authority. But, and this is the kicker, this is how we bond with other men. When these same tactics are applied to our interpersonal relationships with women, they don't "translate" because women grow up in a completely different feminine culture with it's own set of rules. ("Why can't you ever listen to me" doesn't mean just listen to them, for example).

Anyway, I think a large part of why feminism doesn't appeal to men is because feminism is for women. I know, that seems tautological, but I mean, feminism is for women in terms of how women approach the world. Tannen's book and your book suggest to me that "Meninism" needs an entirely different approach that takes into account feminist critiques of men's behavior. Hierarchy is important to boys and men. And what that means materially, I think, is where we can make some huge strides in terms of addressing our problems as boys and men.

Good time as any to plug The Cooking Gene, by Michael W. Twitty. This is basically his life's work.

I'm a huge fan of corporate confidential. Retaliation is real, but if something this bad happened then the company probably won't risk it.

I'm reading Grain Brain
and
Alexander Hamilton

Groove Music: The Art and Culture of the Hip-Hop DJ by Mark Katz. You should be able to find it in your local library...

I just bought this book to begin studying for the Security+ but I've been slacking.

As for guns I've never really wanted to own one. I've always wanted to take a class though in case of zombie apocalypse.

The fuck? Obama released a book two months before the election in 08. Hillary released a book in 2016 two moths before the election. People release books before elections. It’s a thing. You see what I mean about reaching?

Edit: here’s the links to the books. Check the release dates


https://www.amazon.com/dp/0307460452/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_t1_mnCBCbRMJ0BDC

https://www.amazon.com/dp/1501161733/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_t1_5oCBCb0V3QJDE

Again, I don't believe this post is saying here look this is the evidence of institutional racism. Its saying these are some of the results.

It does matter. Because as you well know asking a picture to explain to you the causes and "prove" racism is impossible. So I have to assume your point is to say that these disparities are not caused by racism, otherwise the comment is of little to no value.

If you want to read up on the causes, I suggest you start here:

http://www.amazon.com/The-Meritocracy-Myth-Stephen-McNamee/dp/0742561682

http://www.amazon.com/Institutional-Racism-America-Louis-Knowles/dp/0134677382

A lot of you are really playing yourselves with Marianne Williamson and letting yourselves be reduced to single issues...wow she talked about reparations...what about every other stupid thing that came out of her mouth?


> "If you think any of this wonkiness is going to deal with this dark psychic force of the collectivized hatred that this president is bringing up in this country, then I’m afraid that the Democrats are going to see some very dark days,"


https://twitter.com/marwilliamson/status/1004406534028349446

> The answer to depression is more scientific research only if you think of it simply in biomedical terms. The medicalization of depression is a creation of the medical industry. For millennia depression was seen as a spiritual disease, and for many of us it still is.


https://slate.com/technology/2019/07/marianne-williamson-anti-science-stances-investigated-presidential-race.html

>Then there are the examples that really do get the science wrong—situations where Williamson just has a strong feeling that things aren’t as the scientific community sees them. She lists genetically modified organisms as a source of corruption in our food system, which seems to stem from a distrust of large companies. But scientists contend that GMOs are perfectly safe. In her 2010 book, A Course in Weight Loss: 21 Spiritual Lessons for Surrendering Your Weight, she writes that fat “is a repository of twisted, distorted thoughts and feelings that didn’t have anywhere else to go.” Fat and how much one has are actually, in large part, just a feature of one’s body, in the same way that height is, coupled only to some extent with what one eats and how one works out. She’s suggested that antidepressants and even research into the biological factors of depression exist just because of the industry. In Tears to Triumph: Spiritual Healing for the Modern Plagues of Anxiety and Depression, she writes about the “practical application of love and forgiveness as medicine for the soul”; yes, exactly what you’d expect from a self-help author. But she also explains how she’d been diagnosed with clinical depression and refuses to treat it with any kind of medicine, as if that’s the goal to which everyone should aspire.

But I mean she talked about flint and reparations, which is clearly more important than the fact that she might be nuts.

It's not our job to re-educate people with screwed up their views on slavery, segregation, and their lasting impacts on society. Especially in this subreddit of all places. Especially if they come out swinging in defense of slavery with the same bad faith arguments racists have been using for literally hundreds of years now. We don't have the time for those kinds of remedial lessons you could have been asking for BEFORE you drew the line in the sand. A lot of ink has already been spilled explaining it in detail for people with your mindset, and you could even search this subreddit to see why that mindset is a bad one from the start.

https://www.google.com/search?q=it%27s+not+black+people%27s+job+to+teach+you&rlz=1C1CHBF_enUS853US853&oq=it%27s+not+black+people%27s+job+to+teach+you&aqs=chrome..69i57.9707j0j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8

And I know you can put in that effort, bc you've already shown that desire in a previous comment you made in r/AITA.

But don't expect black people to suddenly flip a switch and take you by the hand in a comments section where you were making arguments defending slavery. That's not how this works.

edit: I'll do you this solid, though. I'll link you some videos, books, and podcasts for homework.

The fallacy of blacks selling blacks: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pJ5zizWjSko

an easy video series about one black queen dealing with the Portuguese: https://youtu.be/EBbYxLmCO6c

Why Race Matters by Cornel West, 25th anniversary: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=cornel+west&ref=nb_sb_noss_2

Reconstruction and the Gilded Age book bonus: https://www.amazon.com/Republic-Which-Stands-Reconstruction-1865-1896/dp/0190053763/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=reconstruction+and+the+gilded+age&qid=1573323568&sr=8-1

Codeswitch podcast: https://www.npr.org/podcasts/510312/codeswitch

a great podcast on whiteness as a political, economic, and social construct: https://www.sceneonradio.org/seeing-white/