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I'm very sorry your parents are treating you this way. My parents treated me very similarly as I was growing up, and as an adult out of the home. They stopped when I set boundaries and followed through, though.

I really encourage you to decide what are some firm boundaries you would like, tell your parents clearly what they are, and then follow through with whatever consequences you set.

For example, "Do not comment on what I'm eating, or I will leave the house." Or maybe, "Do not comment on my body size or activity level, or I will not talk to you." I know that following through on the consequences can be really rough, especially if you are living at home or are dependent on your parents. But it's okay to set these boundaries and important to protect yourself.

As a side note, it's okay to ask your coworkers not to comment on your appearance, too. People often react badly to these kinds of requests; it's common to hear, "it's just a compliment," or "you're being too sensitive." You can respond however you like and feel is right, but I find that people are disarmed and shut their mouths if I can smile and say, "I'd appreciate you not doing it anyway. It really affects me."

For your personal journey towards self love and self acceptance, I might suggest a counselor/therapist. It really helped me out a lot (and mine coached me through setting boundaries with my parents). I also really recommend this book, if you're interested in trying a guide book on your own: Dr. Deah's Calmanac, by DEAH ANNE SCHWARTZ. http://www.amazon.com/DR-DEAHS-CALMANAC-INTERACTIVE-CULTIVATING/dp/0991235304

You are perfect just the way you are and entitled to find what makes your body feel good. Good luck!

I recommend reading the book Lessons From the FatOSphere by Kate Harding and Marianne Kirby. That's my body acceptance bible. it's the first FA book I read and it saved me.

as far as your daughter goes.. unfortunately she's going to be surrounded by the idea that her worth is tied in with her appearance. For me, with my nieces. i don't tell them how beautiful or cute they are, i tell them how strong, brave, and smart they are. With my son I make sure he knows there's nothing wrong with my body. I'm not ashamed of my belly- when he was a little younger he used to like to play the drums on it and I let him. He would even do it in public.. no problem at all! I've never criticized my looks or my weight.

If I were you I'd also read up on princess culture- try Cinderella Ate My Daughter as a starter.

I remember I used to think that when I was recovering from my ED, too. I had my eating disorder through the ages of 11 till 21. My weight is stable now, something that I never thought possible. If you read the book Health At Every Size, the author goes in detail how the body has its natural set-point, and how it maintains that set-point. The body is an amazing thing, so you are gonna be alright!

As for distractions, breathe. Bring your attention to your breath, throughout the day, to stay calm as best as you can (don't be discouraged if it isn't a quick fix, it takes time). By continually focusing on your breath, even during behaviors, you can lessen their blow, and begin to think more rationally throughout them. Keep this habit up for a few months. Its worthwhile!

Also, check out EFT. I think you can learn it easily online. I know the blogger Gala Darling used it to overcome her ED, and I tried it for a year. While it didn't cure me, it definitely helped me eat just a little bit more and include some potentially triggering foods.

I can definitely understand that need to be a sickly kid. Its like...if I remain sick then no one can tear me down. No one can hurt me when I hurt myself. I get to control that. It takes a long time to fight that voice, believe me! But, gradually, with time and effort, you can tell it to shutup.

I'll be frank: This book helps me to keep eating. The exercises within it are basically this: identify how you are feeling, then form thoughts that feel better, that bring you relief.

I remember this past year I wasn't doing the exercises, and slowly the idea that veganism or cutting out certain foods started to sound like a good idea. The past four months I have been doing them again, and I am eating normally again, thank god! It can be difficult at times, because I have found that with each minor stressor that I clear out, I am then confronted with the pain from the trauma of my childhood. So, I gotta smooth that out. Its interesting how this core pain, definitely fueled my eating disorder for all of these years. It was much easier to deal with not eating than it was to face this pain.

Take control of your response to stress, and you'll be sending a powerful message to your body that it's okay to eat. Pm me with ANY questions!!

I feel you. I didn't grow breasts until I was 13 or 14, and when I did, they were A-cups. When I was a teenager, I was insecure about them and wished they were bigger, and throughout high school and college I exclusively wore push-up bras to try to hide how flat-chested I was. It didn't help that I dated people who weren't nice to me about it: one girl I dated made fun of me for having smaller breasts than her, and a guy I dated made sure to tell me that my breasts looked "small and lopsided."

I can honestly say that I love my breasts now. I wear what are basically training bras: two layers of fabric to make my nipples less visible, but no uncomfortable wires or padding to try to look like I have a body type that I don't. They're super comfy. I wouldn't have agreed at 18, but now at 23, I feel like my breasts are elegant and convenient. As far as plunging necklines, you sure as hell can wear them if you want. Look at this picture of Keira Knightley, dude. With small breasts, you can pull off even lower necklines than most women while being perceived as elegant and classy.

My #1 recommendation to you, which helped me a lot, is to get yourself a copy of this book. The author photographed 100 women's breasts, from ages 18 to 101, and interviewed them about their lives and their relationships to their bodies. The best thing you can do for yourself is to get a sense for what real women's breasts look like, outside of media and porn. See how breasts of different sizes change with age and how almost all women have something to dislike about themselves. It really helped me change my way of thinking about my body.

Maybe it's time for a new therapist? You seem to still have a lot of cognitive distortions, like labeling, magnification, should thoughts, jumping to conclusions, mind-reading, disqualifying the positive, etc. I also recommend the book Feeling Good: A New Mood Therapy, which can teach you how to counteract some of these distortions on your own.

#relate! I am in the same shoes, I hate it when I can hear my thighs rubbing together- and I have a perfectly healthy BMI!
I will say that pettipants and sliders have saved me a lot of stress when it comes to wearing skirts! It's like wearing shorts under them and a lot of them are really light and airy, and they keep your thighs from chaffing! Here is a link to a pair of pettipants for reference :)
https://www.amazon.com/Underworks-Pettipants-Culotte-Bloomers-4-inch/dp/B005I6F16Y/ref=sr_1_5?keywords=pettipants&qid=1555621804&s=gateway&sr=8-5

I think it is very likely you have BDD. I'm not qualified to diagnose of course, but I've done a lot of reading about it and you sound like a textbook case. Here is a book about BDD that discusses CBT and other treatment options, it's very thorough and I would really recommend it.

I'm 31 and my therapist worked with me on this topic a lot. This is a good resource she recommended that has many exercises which will help with self-esteem issues.

https://www.amazon.com/Self-Esteem-Workbook-Glenn-R-Schiraldi/dp/1572242523

I'm going to recommend the book Overcoming Body Dysmorphic Disorder to you. It has helped so much with my issues and I think it could be helpful to you. Please, if you can afford it, go see a therapist who can do CBT with you. Admitting you need help is not something to be ashamed of, and therapists will not judge you.

Hi there - I think you might be meeting with some downvoters because this is largely seen as a "safe" space for fat acceptance.

How health and weight intersect is complex, and of course, we'd have to be idiots not to hear the incredible amount of social pressure dedicated to selling that particular message you mention - being fat is bad, IT MAKES YOU DIE! And yet many of us are happy, healthy fat people.

Unless you're their doctor, it's never, ever acceptable to tell someone to lose weight for their health. If shaming or concern trolling worked, we'd all be thin.

You might want to try reading Lessons from the Fat-o-sphere to gain a little insight.

Have you ever considered changing your diet? Seriously, I've struggled with acne since a teen as well. Went through two rounds of Accutane and it still came back. I finally tried the Paleo diet two years ago and it all cleared up within a month. No joke. These days, I only ever have minor breakouts around my period, or if I'm more stressed than usual :)

I recommend you read this book. It changed my life, and it's all backed by science.

It's been a while since I read the 2005 Broken Mirror and I no longer have it to compare, but the 2009 book seems to cover some stuff I don't remember seeing. Maybe compare the two via Amazon previews? (Also, the newer paperback seems to be on sale for $5.98!)

Can I post links here? “Fearing the black body, the racial origins of fat phobia” is on my reading list.


Fearing the Black Body https://www.amazon.com/dp/1479886750/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_YWiMDbWEXVHM6

If it’s going to do real harm to your mental health I would call in sick. Your mental health is much more important than following through with the obligation. (they’ll find someone else or shoot a different scene and life will move on - there’s no real reason to do it if you know it’s bad for you)

On your sick day I would read body positive power by Megan Crabbe. I hope you find it as healing and mindset changing as I did. 💕