(Part 2) Top products from r/BreakUps

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We found 17 product mentions on r/BreakUps. We ranked the 27 resulting products by number of redditors who mentioned them. Here are the products ranked 21-40. You can also go back to the previous section.

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Top comments that mention products on r/BreakUps:

u/h20hhh · 2 pointsr/BreakUps

I understand. Its the feeling of rejection. We want to be loved and admired and when someone says they feel things aren't going right, you feel like something is wrong with you. This is the time to arm yourself heavily with self esteem tools. Take care of yourself and remind yourself that there is nothing wrong with you. That you have much to offer and are a great person. Magnificent. Astounding. Wonderful. If you're experiencing what I am, you might be feeling potential separation anxiety.

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These are some affirmations I am using that could be helpful...

  1. My distress is a result of brain chemistry and I’m not crazy. Just temporarily off balance.
  2. My anxieties and insecurities don’t necessarily reflect what’s really going on or what he’s thinking or feeling.
  3. Just because he broke up with me doesn’t mean that what we had wasn’t real. It’s simply not real any more.
  4. I shall respectfully honor his request for space.
  5. Seeking contact (stalking, pleading) does not bring relief, it only brings shame.
  6. Instead of thinking, I have to get him to tell me the truth, change his mind, stop cheating, etc., I shall stop caring what he does or how he feels.
  7. It is a mistake to heed the voice inside my head that urges me to seek him out. That voice comes from pain, insecurity, and fear and is not the BEST me.
  8. When that voice is triggered, I shall turn toward myself or a good friend for reassurance, not him.
  9. When I am triggered, I shall mindfully observe my physiology and let it wane without trying to fix it. Rather than thinking I have to see him and recapture what was, I shall think, Oh, look at that. I’m having an anxious moment. This too shall pass. Also try unfurrowing your brow. A calm face leads to a calm mind.
  10. When triggered, I shall give myself a 90-second timeout for my physiology to calm down—and I shall not renew my distress by focusing on what’s upsetting to me.
  11. I shall not measure my worth by his attitude toward me. His attitude is a reflection on him, not me.
  12. He’s just not that into me, and I shall spend my time with people who appreciate me. Life is too short to do otherwise.
  13. Distance from him is what heals me. Whenever I try to get close again, it’s like picking off a scab and making it bleed. I’m only forcing myself to go through the agony of withdrawal all over again. When a scab has formed, I shall let it heal over completely.
  14. I shall not justify seeking closeness as an attempt to keep my lover as a friend. I cannot afford a friendship until I’m completely over him and no longer even remotely triggered. And it’s okay if we don’t remain friends. Moving on is a sign of personal growth.
  15. It’s okay for me to feel sad that this relationship has ended. As I grieve, I am moving toward healing.
  16. I am a growing, changing person and can learn from this experience.
  17. I shall take the high road and behave in ways that have dignity and restore my self-respect.
  18. I shall do what nurtures my health and wholeness. (Natural serotonin and dopamine boosters include physical activity, sunshine on my skin, smiling, and good nutrition including plenty of protein, vegetables, B vitamins, and bananas.)
  19. When I take care of myself, I feel confident, optimistic, attractive, and authentic.
  20. The more I behave like a sane person, the more I’ll feel like a sane person.
  21. To resist focusing on a dead relationship, I shall focus on living my BEST life.
  22. I shall seek out what energizes me, not what drains me.
  23. I shall remember that my success is the best revenge!
u/nerdwordbird · 6 pointsr/BreakUps

Just like what u/robertosnow said. This has been true for me too. At first I hated it when talking to people they'd say "well it's time to focus on yourself now", because I wanted / needed to talk about HIM and what is he thinking and how is he feeling and how can I make this pain stop.... so do it, vent about it. Let it out and FEEL the feelings. That's the way through it, that's how to make it slowly go away.

What I started doing is writing down all the stuff my friends would say in response (because some of it was really valuable advice which I just couldn't absorb at the time), and reading back over it a couple weeks later was a gold mine of insights - including into my own obsessive thoughts.

A book which has been invaluable to me is The Wisdom of a Broken Heart which was written after the author's own heartbreak, and is so understanding that you could start it right away even in the midst of your own fresh pain. It gives methods to quiet the anxious inner voices, how to keep your heart open despite the pain, how to connect with the wonderful stuff inside you - yes it's somewhat spiritual but certainly not religious (she's buddhist but nobody reading this book would need to believe in Buddhism). Really highly recommended.

And YES, you will get through this, YES it is going to get much much easier. There will be up and down days for weeks or months, but let yourself feel the feelings, work on taking really good care of yourself, and it definitely WILL get much better. Good luck! PM me if you want to.

u/Mamma_cita · 7 pointsr/BreakUps

Hey, it’s been 6 months for me and I recently started reading the book Women who love too much, the process of accepting I fit this book’s premise so well is painful, but acceptance will bring freedom and I am trying to heal so that I can learn from this pain. I highly recommend the book. Leaving you the link here: Women Who Love Too Much: When You... https://www.amazon.com/dp/1416550216?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share

u/handsfree_riptide · 2 pointsr/BreakUps

Earlier this year I had a breakup with my ex who had several mental health problems including BPD. She began another relationship after a month or two and we kept in touch and were even "friends" for about 6 months afterwards. When I learned she had described him as the first person who ever really cared about her, I said screw it and we've been out of touch for a few months now. I think you can understand the disappointment and pain for me that in the end I never was able to make her feel loved or truly cared about.

I've struggled a lot with that. I don't know whether to believe it or whether it's just crazy. We were together 5+ years and she never felt cared about? Sometimes I have all these doubts about what kind of a person I must be that my partner felt that way. When she started seeing this new fellow she told me I never cared about her needs whereas with him it was easy. I felt so angry because the whole damn relationship was my taking care of her needs and her yelling at me if I screwed up or wasn't completely neutral or cheerful about it. She told me I wasn't even half of a considerate person. And like I said, I still for 6 months after the breakup was trying to prove her wrong, even as she was making me feel this bad about myself and I was doing terrible in terms of my own mental well being.

As much as I've struggled with it, I'm actually grateful I heard that thing about the new guy caring for her in ways I never did. It snapped me out of the "fog" and made me realize that she has no idea what a healthy relationship is or what adults caring about each other actually means. She wanted a parent-child relationship. I remember realizing at some point while we were together that it felt like I was living with a teenage daughter who hated me. At the time I didn't know why or what to do about it, but I remember feeling that way. Her and this other fellow broke up after 3 months, I assume because she had the same kinds of expectations.

I read a book called Codependent No More which explained a lot about how I felt as I tried to fulfill that role over the years and the damage I'd done to my own needs and sense of self by inevitably placing her's first. I cannot recommend this book enough. Other concepts that I learned about and recognized deeply:

FOG (Fear Obligation Guilt)

[JADE](
http://outofthefog.website/what-not-to-do-1/2015/12/3/jade-dont-justify-argue-defend-explain) (Justify Argue Defend Explain)

Karpman Drama Triangle


If she contacts you and you find yourself compelled to respond, examine your feelings closely and be mindful of why exactly you want to respond. Be on the lookout especially for feelings of obligation or guilt, or feeling sorry for her. Those aren't the basis for an adult relationship. Don't react. You have a right to trust your own perception of things and validate your own feelings. Take your time with everything and make your own life easy. You took on responsibilities in this relationship that weren't yours and were impossible to fulfill. Now enjoy the lightness of being yourself.

Sorry if that is presumptuous. In my reading on BPD it seemed these were common experiences of their partners. I hope some of it is useful and you can get on with your life and heal soon.

u/kaylinpickles · 3 pointsr/BreakUps

also try this book by jackson mackenzie. he talks about how we often look to external distractions, work, addictions, perfectionism, social media etc but those only serve to feed our protective self which is the ego but never reaching the core wound. the only way to reach the core wound is actually through inner work which is unconditional love, compassion and forgiveness for yourself, acceptance, mindfulness, practicing nonjudgement etc :

https://www.amazon.com/Whole-Again-Rediscovering-Relationships-Emotional/dp/0143133314

patience is the key i guess. if shes really meant for you she WILL come back, you really need to believe this.

u/joshw220 · 2 pointsr/BreakUps

Here are some fashion references that I used and helped. It was also the style bible not fashion bible. lol

http://www.amazon.com/AskMen-com-Presents-The-Style-Bible/dp/0061208507/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1372205417&sr=8-3&keywords=details+men%27s+style+manual

http://www.amazon.com/Details-Mens-Style-Manual-Ultimate/dp/159240328X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1372205417&sr=8-1&keywords=details+men%27s+style+manual

http://www.amazon.com/Esquire-The-Handbook-Style-Looking/dp/1588167461/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1372205417&sr=8-2&keywords=details+men%27s+style+manual

Dealing with conflict and having long relationships was something I had to build over time, and most of that will come with just working toward being the ultimate man woman desire. Having confidence, good direction in your life, lots of friends, good hobbies, good manners, being gentleman, having boundaries and standards. Don't be insecure or clingy. I didn't just read one or two books I read about 40 and at one point it became an obsession to be this ideal man woman desire.

u/passionatereds · 2 pointsr/BreakUps

This is exactly what I needed to hear right now. I have not heard of this guy before, but man, he has quite the imagination! I really enjoyed his style, and of course, this message. Thank you for posting this. I'll now be adding Sex at Dawn to my reading list!