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A huge thing to take care of ASAP: get rid of the echo! A better microphone (I got a $20 USB microphone not unlike this one with a stand that I already had, but something more like this would be a good idea) is a boon. In the room you're in, consider having items that don't bounce sound. There's wall tapestries that can really help cut down on that. And plenty of noise cancelling padding that you can stick on your walls too that are cheap.

Past that you clear your throat a lot and apologize. It gets a bit distracting. Drink water ahead of time and consider sipping as you go. It's nice you maintain regular commentary. Not much downtime. As far as specific commentary, you can probably spend more time talking about what you're immediately doing and putting more energy into the discussion. That's an issue I have too is I'm pretty flat when I do commentary and admittedly most people want more energy. Personally I hate the ADHD bouncing off the walls people, but then again if you have a better audio recording it'll likely come through better. I personally also don't like the vulgar language you use, but that's my personal taste.

One last thing, you're recording at 720. That's not bad itself, but later on you might want to consider sticking with 1080p. You're going to spend hours uploading a 10 minute video, but the video is dramatically more clear. Especially with a video that has text and smaller details, it really makes a difference.

Long story short, getting into putting serious effort and making solid quality early on is going to be a great boon in the long run. First off because you'll get a good reputation for quality content across all your videos and because you'll get into a habit that will make editing and production faster and streamlined. That said, don't batter yourself if what you offer early isn't up to par. You're going to get more comfortable and better with practice.