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I'm 36 and have never had a committed relationship. I read this book and it was just what I needed. I stopped thinking it was me, and realized it's really just a matter of luck. I'd also rather be by myself than with someone just to be with someone. Might be a good time to take a break (especially from OLD) and work on your confidence. Make some female friends that might have some advice.

RE: sex I agree with the comments below that every person is basically a blank slate. Just communicate and be attentive to what they like and it will be great.

Have you read the book Attached yet? I think it might give some insight into things. I'm currently reading it, and it's been making me think a lot about my own attachment style, how that has played into previous/my current relationships.

But as others have said, it wasn't anything you did or didn't do. It wasn't a case of 'if I did x, then we would have lasted!'. I think it was more about incompatibility, as it seems he wanted to keep things at arm's length while you wanted a close relationship. And there's nothing wrong with that!

Take some time and heal. Lots of internet hugs.

I have given this book to many friends and used it as a Bible to exit a relationship. You will look at the title, maybe even the description, and think it doesn't apply to you. Then you read it and... 💡

Co-Dependent No More By Melody Beattie

Also recommend the amazing The Language of Letting GO

I enjoyed Alan Watts - The Book. This man certainly did not give unwarranted fucks!

https://www.amazon.com/Book-Taboo-Against-Knowing-Who/dp/0679723005?crid=T8358G0DP00B&keywords=alan+watts+the+book&qid=1527056347&sprefix=alan+watts+the+book&sr=8-1&ref=mp_s_a_1_1

Yeah, no offense, but that would be a deal breaker for me as well, whether you intend to quit or not.

Also, pardon the unsolicited advice, but I was a heavy smoker for 12 years--the kind of person that everyone thought would never quit and I quit with ease with the help of this book and I haven't touched or even wanted a cigarette for 12 years now: https://www.amazon.com/Allen-Carrs-Easy-Stop-Smoking/dp/0615482155/ref=sr_1_3?keywords=how+to+stop+smoking&qid=1557176223&s=gateway&sr=8-3 There's not better time to quit than now. Smoking really is going to be a deal breaker for a lot of guys, sorry to be blunt.

One about human sexual behavior that ends up being good reading for the non monogamously inclined, but might also be a good read for everyone: Sex at Dawn

Sounds like you have something of an anxious attachment style. I read this book a few years ago and it helped me understand this phenomenon and handle my own anxiety better.


https://www.amazon.com/Attached-Attachment-Find-Keep-Love-Find-ebook/dp/B0049H9AVU/ref=sr_1_3?keywords=attached&qid=1558895740&s=gateway&sr=8-3

I'd recommend https://www.amazon.com/How-Talk-Anyone-Success-Relationships/dp/B013GXDRKC/ref=sr_1_1?crid=5LR0RULGN468&keywords=how+to+talk+to+anyone+92+little+tricks&qid=1569245444&sprefix=how+to+talk+to+anyone%2Caps%2C165&sr=8-1

Even if you just pick up one or two parts that really speak to you then it's worth the read in my opinion.

Check out It Didn't Start With You - it might help. It helped me.