(Part 2) Top products from r/DecidingToBeBetter

Jump to the top 20

We found 38 product mentions on r/DecidingToBeBetter. We ranked the 282 resulting products by number of redditors who mentioned them. Here are the products ranked 21-40. You can also go back to the previous section.

Next page

Top comments that mention products on r/DecidingToBeBetter:

u/IGaveHerThe · 3 pointsr/DecidingToBeBetter

Just be careful, it's easy to fall down the rabbit hole of 'thinking you're being productive' but working ON things instead of "In" things. (Meta-procrastination is reading a book about getting organized instead of getting organized.) You should strive to have the simplest, most boring system that actually works for you. It's very easy to get caught up in the trap of researching the latest and greatest fad rather than actually doing the hard tasks that need to be done.

The 'classic' is "How to take control of your time and your life" by Lakein. This is the most generic, 1970s version of time management possible, but is helpful to understand as it is kind of 'responded to' by multiple other authors, even if they don't call him out by name.

Another frequently referenced work is "7 Habits of Highly Effective People" by Covey. This gets mentioned in a lot of places. It is a 'top down' style.

For a completely different perspective, try "Getting Things Done" by Allen. This will lead you to realize how many commitments that you have made. It is more 'bottom up'.

Finally, some of the most interesting stuff in this space that I have read is by Mark Forster. His latest book is here. And his blog is here.

At a high level, it is always useful to think about the utility of what you are doing - that is, making sure you are doing the right things, even if you are doing them slowly (working on your most important tasks), rather than doing low value tasks efficiently (man, I can read email quickly). Peter Drucker, Tim Ferriss (Four Hour Workweek), etc.

Other ideas/Books to research: JIT/Kanban, 80/20 'rule', "Eat that frog" by Brian Tracy. Smarter Faster Better by Duhigg, The Power of Habit also by Duhigg I also very much enjoyed. The Magic of Tidying up by Kondo might also give you some insight into cleaning out your commitments.

Hope this helps. I have read all of these so let me know if you have questions I guess...

u/big_red737 · 1 pointr/DecidingToBeBetter

Thanks, I'm glad it was helpful for you. I still have a lot of "baggage" to work through, a lot of issues to resolve and heal but this was a good start. Congratulations on your one year of sobriety! That reminds me of another book I've heard about. I'm in the middle of reading a book called Brain Over Binge written by a woman who overcame her binge eating disorder. I'm using it as a starting point in dealing with my own food and eating issues. In it she talks about reading the book called Rational Recovery by Jack Trimpey, which is what helped her finally kick her binge eating problem after years of therapy doing nothing. It's actually a book about addiction recovery and just by chance she happened to try looking at books about addiction recovery in the bookstore instead of eating disorder books. This is the one she picked up. It talked about drugs and alcohol addiction but she just simply replaced that with the word "food" in her mind as she read it and it clicked for her. It talks about making a clear distinct separation in your mind and recognizing that the urge to engage in using the substance is coming from the primitive survival brain (same with things like anxiety which does have its place), but that it's the conscious human brain that is choosing to actually follow through and give in to the urge again. The primitive brain does not have the power to make you actually act. It's a bit more complex than that and she explained it better but she was able to take that knowledge and apply it to her eating disorder. I'm trying to use that and apply it to my anxiety.

Also, if you aren't familiar with this yet, you may want to try /r/raisedbynarcissists. I don't really have any experience dealing with that but it sounds like you're on the right track. You may also want to explore Childhood Emotional Neglect and what happens when we don't get that love and emotional support that we need as children as we are learning to navigate the world. It's about exploring emotional literacy and emotional intelligence, recognizing our feelings and knowing what to do with them in a healthy positive way (i.e. handling them properly instead of using drugs, sex, food, alcohol, things like that to cope). I'm slowly exploring that myself (for me it's food and learning how to communicate better). We need to work at connecting the dots with how we behave as adults to our past, recognizing that, understanding how that affects our behaviour, and resolving those feelings. Good luck!

u/tkyjonathan · 1 pointr/DecidingToBeBetter

I will try to help:

  1. Try to focus on how much she is enjoying it and you will ignore your own issues. When things are better, remember to enjoy it yourself at some point.

  2. I still have this problem. Its less now, but hasn't fully gone away. I put my fingers in my ears during take off. I take 2x paracetamol before as well. It helps, but its always a little bit there. For the rest of the flight, try to focus fully on something else like a book or a movie.

  3. Get very strong probiotics to help soothe this down.

  4. Practice stoicism. I really like this book https://www.amazon.co.uk/Guide-Good-Life-Ancient-Stoic/dp/0195374614/ref=sr_1_3?keywords=joy+of+stoicism&qid=1572033849&sr=8-3
u/graz2342 · 22 pointsr/DecidingToBeBetter

Honestly, there is nothing wrong with you. Speaking up in a group of people is hard unless you are comfortable with them and I don't believe that is the reason you struggle to develop relationships. Sure, if you're confident and witty, then it's a foot in the door, allowing you to start developing a relationship - if you are always on the edge of things then it becomes more difficult.

I was always on the edge of things in high school. I would sometimes try and insert a comment but it would be forced because I was desperately trying to get myself noticed. When you are in that frame of mind, you aren't relaxed and it becomes far harder to contribute to the conversation.

I used to think this was a fundamental flaw of mine until I got to university and developed a group of friends that actually valued me. I felt relaxed around them and my personality started to come through more.

There are a couple of books that I've read that have really clicked with me. You sound a lot like me, so I think they will help.

u/kaidomac · 1 pointr/DecidingToBeBetter

The best system I have ever found for keeping track of 100% everything is GTD:

https://www.amazon.com/Getting-Things-Done-Stress-Free-Productivity/dp/0143126563

It is not easy to learn, but it does cover the entire A to Z spectrum of getting your act together. It requires a lot of studying from the book, setting things up, and adopting new habits. It boils down to a few core ideas:

  1. Capture every single commitment you make to yourself or others
  2. Process those commitment into actionable items by asking "what's the outcome desired?" and "what's the very next physical action required?" for every single captured commitment.
  3. Sort those into appropriate places so that you will, without fail, remember to do them

    I mean, that's all there really is to it, right? You get a task, you figure out what needs to be done, and then you remind yourself to do it. Simple example: you are running low on milk. You capture "buy milk" into your system (paper notebook, app, doesn't matter). When you do your sorting process (multiple times a day), you put that into your Shopping List. The next time you go to the store, you see "buy milk" on there and voila, you've completed that commitment. Applying this to everything in your life is literally life-changing. NOTHING ever again falls through the cracks, gets lost, or gets forgotten.

    The system is also extremely clear about how you use a calendar. Calendars are considered sacred space. Only appointments go there, not to-do lists. Everything else is managed by context...stuff you do at work, stuff you do at home, stuff you do at the grocery store, and so on. That way, all of your commitments are not only clarified, but presented back to yourself as ready-to-act-on tasks in the appropriate context.

    The recent metaphor I've been using is that it's equivalent to surfing: the ocean of "stuff" is going to be pounding waves on you relentless until you die. You can either get pummeled by those waves, or you can effortlessly ride the crest of the wave & stay on top of things on a daily basis. And once you've really, truly learned how GTD works, even if you "fall off the board", you can easily get back on and get back to staying on top of things, so even if you have an off day or take vacation or just get burned out, it's not a hopeless cause.

    Again, be warned, it is a hefty system to adopt. Lots of new habits & things to learn, and it takes awhile to really "get" the whole entire picture, but once you do, it's so awesome & so simple that you'll wonder how you ever lived without it. That's just from my experience, growing up under-achieving & struggling with undiagnosed ADHD. It is possible to get on top of things & stay on top of them, and also get back into things when you fall off the wagon. David Allen has it figured out!
u/mavnorman · 5 pointsr/DecidingToBeBetter

I've read some of them. Those that I read are indeed good.

However, in the context of deciding to be better, I'd recommend to drop Pinker's "Blank Slate". It's a good book, but it's mostly about an academic and political debate. If you already accept that genes affect the mind, there's a better way to spend your time.

I'd also recommend to replace Kahneman's "Thinking, Fast and Slow", and Ariely's "Predictably Irrational" with "The invisible Gorilla" by Charbis and Simmons. The latter book covers a similar ground to the first two, but it does so with less personal anecdotes.

I'd also recommend to replace the books from Oliver Sacks with Eagleman's "Incognito. The Secret Lives of the Brain." Eagleman is also funny, he covers similar ground, but his book is a bit more systematic.

u/Lynne253 · 2 pointsr/DecidingToBeBetter

This is a great suggestion and worth looking into. I hope there is less stigma about mental health, and if anyone reading this feels embarrassed by the thought of needing help I hope they take another look at their feelings to see if it's not just old fashioned attitudes they were taught when they were younger.

I like self help books, I got a copy of "The Healthy Mind Toolkit" by Alice Boyes, PhD Link to Amazon. From the blurb: Blending scientific research with techniques from cognitive behavioral therapy, this engaging book will take you through the steps to address this overarching problem, including how to:

• Identify the specific ways you're hurting your success in all aspects of your life
• Capitalize on the positive aspects of your extreme traits instead of the negatives
• Find creative solutions to curb your self-defeating patterns
• Practice self-care as a problem-solving strategy

I'm going to go through it and take the quizzes and see if it helps. I tried meditation before but it just didn't stick, but I think I'll try it again.

u/12aptor · 3 pointsr/DecidingToBeBetter

I believe that educating yourself about shame is the best thing you can do for yourself and ultimately others. Read (or listen to) "Daring Greatly" and "Neurosis And Human Growth". These books have lead to discovery which has lead to understanding which has lead to peace, for me. 100% chance they will help you too. :)

---

https://www.amazon.com/Daring-Greatly-Courage-Vulnerable-Transforms/dp/1592408419/ref=sr_1_3?keywords=daring+greatly&qid=1567279095&s=gateway&sr=8-3

---

https://www.amazon.com/Neurosis-Human-Growth-Struggle-Self-Realization/dp/0393307751/ref=sr_1_1?crid=EQAV5UKFJ9YP&keywords=neurosis+and+human+growth+karen+horney&qid=1567279160&s=gateway&sprefix=neurosis+%2Caps%2C197&sr=8-1

u/Iwonttakeitanymore · 1 pointr/DecidingToBeBetter

Thanks to /r/stopdrinking and this book, I have been sober now for 173 days. Each day now is a new record.

If you want to be sober, you can be! This has been one of the best decisions I've made in my life.

Good luck if you decide you've have enough and take steps to quit.

u/KolevDarko · -2 pointsr/DecidingToBeBetter

I will recommend 12 Rules for Life by Jordan Peterson (https://www.amazon.com/12-Rules-Life-Antidote-Chaos/dp/0345816021/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=12+rules+for+life&link_code=qs&qid=1565288435&s=gateway&sr=8-1)

He connects the mythical the ancient with the modern in such an interesting way. Just 10 pages in you will feel like the hero of your life and you will search for responsibility and mature in the process.

This description of mine probably doesn't do it justice. I can't recommend it enough.

u/fizikz3 · 1 pointr/DecidingToBeBetter

https://www.amazon.com/Daring-Greatly-Courage-Vulnerable-Transforms/dp/1592408419/ref=pd_lpo_sbs_14_t_0?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=3MBPZTFM5WMT8VNW4YPX

​

author did an incredibly popular ted talk which is the very short version of this book. I highly recommend this book to EVERYONE.

​

https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability?language=en

​

\^36 million views and counting.

u/misterlight · 2 pointsr/DecidingToBeBetter

Check out the book "10% Happier", it's very well written and explains it clearly.
Non affiliated Amazon link

u/mcfandrew · 11 pointsr/DecidingToBeBetter

Read Getting Things Done by David Allen. The things I like about the GTD system:

  1. As soon as you begin adopting the system, you see results in your clarity

  2. It doesn't demand a particular medium (i.e., the system doesn't require a particular proprietary software or booklet or anything)
u/photios-knut · 3 pointsr/DecidingToBeBetter

First, if this is clinically severe, I'd earnestly suggest that you find an appropriate Cognitive Behavioral Therapy practitioner to help you. Specifically, look for someone who's familiar with "exposure therapy", as described in Face Your Fears by Tolin

Exposure therapy is incrementally facing your fear while not engaging in avoidance behaviors. Impressively, doing this in your imagination seems to be almost as effective as doing it in real life.

You might also find some cognitive distancing techniques appropriate, especially if you use them to distance yourself from your anxieties while you engage in the activities you know you need to do. This ACT meditation is my favorite
Cognitive Distancing

u/SchoolSupernintendo · 3 pointsr/DecidingToBeBetter

Book recommendation: "There Is Nothing Wrong With You" by Cheri Huber. It's a very accessible "self help" style book about Zen meditation and awareness practice. Huge breakthrough moment for me with regards to combating shame/self-hate/self-doubt. I had it on a wish-list for years and failed to buy it because my brain was like "Clearly there is something wrong with you" but it ended up being the first meditation guide I found that felt possible/do-able for me. Worth a shot yo.

https://www.amazon.ca/There-Nothing-Wrong-You-Self-Hate/dp/0971030901

u/princess_robot11 · 1 pointr/DecidingToBeBetter

Here are some books that I have read and have found to be helpful. Check to see if your library has them.

Toxic Parents

Emotional Blackmail

Running on Empty

u/THE_FUZBALL · 1 pointr/DecidingToBeBetter

"The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck" by Mark Manson makes some good points.

https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B019MMUA8S/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_88RBzb7SBNFRB

u/redneb94 · 3 pointsr/DecidingToBeBetter

I'd suggest adult education courses and work towards your highschool diploma.

Also just finished reading this book... Might give you some motivation https://www.amazon.com/Cant-Hurt-Me-Master-Your/dp/1544512287

u/world_citizen7 · 6 pointsr/DecidingToBeBetter

Can't Hurt Me: Master Your Mind and Defy the Odds by David Goggins is a book that is VERY highly touted. Its about mental toughness, discipline, work ethics, etc. I havent read it yet, but just look at the amazon reviews, I dont think I have EVER seen a book with over 3000 reviews maintain a 4.8 rating!

https://www.amazon.com/Cant-Hurt-Me-Master-Your/dp/1544512287/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=Can%27t+Hurt+Me%3A+Master+Your+Mind+and+Defy+the+Odds&qid=1564364652&s=gateway&sr=8-1

u/[deleted] · 1 pointr/DecidingToBeBetter

Stress Inoculation Training and Exposure Therapy are both very effective. This book provides a self-help based approach.

You may want to find a therapist who specializes in this.

u/phoenixrising8580 · 8 pointsr/DecidingToBeBetter

I’ve figured this out : laundry sanitizer !!! I didn’t even know it existed. Behold :

Lysol Laundry Additive Sanitizer, 41 Ounce https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07QCQFGY4/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_62itDb18K6KA4

u/rationalitylite · -7 pointsr/DecidingToBeBetter

Some ideas in 4 categories:

Body Language:

u/red_cheese · 10 pointsr/DecidingToBeBetter

The Subtle Art of not giving a fuck by Mark Manson

Many of the books mentioned in this thread borrow from the basic tenets of Stoicism. Mark Manson's book is almost a distillation of the idea of "How to be a stoic" and his writing is very relatable.

u/tinspoons · 1 pointr/DecidingToBeBetter

I would suggest it's a perception problem. Anger is normal, AND you don't have to see things in the same way you have. Here's a book that helped immensely. If you see things from a pov of what you don't have/didn't get, you'll always be mired in anger. This book would help you see things a little differently and, hopefully, release some of this.

u/tanaciousp · 2 pointsr/DecidingToBeBetter

There is nothing wrong with you. Let me say this again, there is nothing wrong with you. Now repeat this to yourself: "There is nothing wrong with me."

Modern society raises us with this idea in our heads that we're constantly, yet subtly told that there is something wrong with us. It's simply not true. When I get down on myself, as you're struggling with I read this book and remind myself "There is nothing wrong with you".

u/MapleSyrupHockey · 1 pointr/DecidingToBeBetter

Sorry for asking, but are you experiencing lots of stress? are you the highly neurotic type?
Before determining that you need willpower to control and suppress these actions I think it might help to find out why you are doing these things first. Find the root of cause, address them, and acknowledge them.

  1. Oversleep: ask yourself why you hate it, is it distracting your normal life? Are you shaming yourself? why are you furious of your sleep? are you not getting enough sleep?
  2. Biting finger: why are you doing it and when do you do it? I used to bite my finger when I was in high school but I was also in lots of stress back then. My way to combat that was to chew gum, apply finger nails, and always play with some fidgeting toys, but it really stops when I focus on something bigger than my stress (work, art, focusing on making my life better).

    Book wise I would recommend [The Confidence Gap]{https://www.amazon.com/Confidence-Gap-Guide-Overcoming-Self-Doubt/dp/1590309235/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1521352956&sr=8-1&keywords=the+confidence+gap} as this really brings me to a new perspective and changed how I do things in some ways.

    Edit: spelling