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Hey friend, first off - go easier on yourself. Part of the process of making progress comes when you believe you're worth the effort and start treating yourself as well you would someone you love. It sounds corny, but really it's huge because it shifts your priorities pretty drastically in the direction of making positive changes.

I've been exactly where you are. I'm still working on getting better everyday. By posting and asking for help to change you've already gotten better today. Now get a little bit better tomorrow. Than again. Marginal, consistent improvement eventually adds up to exponential change. Just like your bad habits took years to creep up and form, your good habits will take time to establish.

Sometimes understanding how your brain works can help you to change the way it works. Check out: The Power of Habit.

Model yourself after people you admire. If that's not anyone you know personally right now, look to your cultural heroes. Read/listen/watch about how they started out, what choices they made and habits they formed early. If you can't think of anybody to emulate start here: 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People, then start browsing related books from there. Educate yourself on HOW to change.

Figure out your WHY. Why do you want to make these habit changes? Write it down. Look at it everyday, and put it in your mind. Let it affect your choices and shape your habits into better habits.

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There's tons of motivating material out there in the world - if you find it helpful, put it in front of you more often. Recurring bursts of motivation can get you over the initial hump of building discipline to form new habits. Also, this video from Will Smith genuinely inspires a different way of thinking about yourself and the world (seems like a joke, but Fresh Prince is inspiring as hell.) That's all I'll list, go out and find your own inspiration.

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Good luck.

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TL;DR - Every *morning tell yourself...

“You are going to start working out, stop smoking, start a new hobby, and most importantly become a man.”

Then do it in the smallest way possible. Next day, add to it. Repeat. Repeat. Prosper!

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EDIT: fixed some typo's.

You are not alive so that you may entertain yourself as much as possible and then die. You are meant for more. The search for more- discovering, then rediscovering why you're here, what your gifts are, this will last your whole life.

Discipline helps you accomplish something. But you need to figure out what to accomplish. The good and bad news is nobody knows. This is yours, and everyone's internal journey.

Use your gifts, involve other people. Are you a good singer? Sing for others. Are you a good cook? Cook for others. Are you strong? Help people move. Are you smart? Create an app, invest wisely, cure a disease. Are you really good at shooting a rubber-band from your fingers? Make youtube videos about it. Perform for sick kids in hospitals. It doesn't matter how big or small your gifts are. Share them.

I will give you an example from my life. I'm in my early 30's. I'm a good writer and speaker. My goal in life is to help others feel less alone. My strong social senses are insight and empathy. I like making others laugh, I like challenging regularly accepted ideas and tinkering with fringe ideas. So- I write friends letters, emails, Facebook messages to connect with them. I write funny personal essays and read around my city/online. I exercise to be confident/attractive (enough) to the opposite sex. I volunteer at Special Olympics coaching soccer. I seek out people going through hard times and connect with them, look them in the eyes and allow them to be who they are. I volunteer at the skid row mission. All of this helps and strengthens my soul. But for money, I program. I chose programming because I can enter Flow states during it, so even though it's work and can often suck, it can be really rewarding. Read Flow and design aspects of your life around it: https://www.amazon.com/Flow-Psychology-Experience-Perennial-Classics/dp/0061339202. It's taken me my entire life to figure all of this stuff out about myself, and I'm still learning and growing. One day I may hate all of this.

Let me give you some examples of where I lack discipline: I wanted to write a book 5 years ago. I started it, never finished. Discipline will help me finish it, but knowing myself was what allowed me to know I had the ability to write and something worth saying. Also, some days I just play video games for 10 hours. I ignore everything. Discipline helps limit/reduce those days.

I want you to think about the idea of production and consumption. When you watch TV/Youtube, you are consuming. Reading a book, consuming. Eating pizza, consuming. If you make your parents spaghetti, you're producing. Paint a picture, producing. Arrange flowers into a bouquet and then give them to someone, producing. Find a good balance in your life between these things. Everyone is different. The fact that you wrote this post makes me think you're a little high on consumption and a little low on production. Decide how you're going to change, then use discipline to execute those changes.

Have you heard of the Kitchen safe?
https://www.amazon.com/Kitchen-Safe-Locking-Container-Height/dp/B00JGFQTD2

I would suggest to start here. This book along with meditation helped me get my act together. I went from a C student to an A student. Chunky to fit.