(Part 2) Top products from r/EatingDisorders

You wrote:

>I will go through periods of binging, trying not to eat, and overall avoiding food while still trying to maintain a semblance of a normal life.

Overeating leads to undereating leads to overeating and on and on. The body really wants balance. Consider learning about hunger hormones. The body is wired to survive at all costs, and any undereating, especially if it is repeated, sends the hunger hormones in to overdrive. The cycle is hell, and part of the hormones's job is to make you think incessantly of food: the body fears its survival here. The key is balance, and when you start to eat regularly, it takes a while for the body to find balance, I'd say at least a week for the worst to subside. Try 3 healthy, energy giving ,fresh food (not packaged) meals by the clock, with three small (100-300 calorie, fresh fruit or protein rich) snacks in between.

>This has proven difficult, and I hate myself when I do eat

It is not unusual in our culture for people to not appreciate themselves. For me, I spent a lot of time learning to appreciate myself. It is work, and it is very worthwhile. Our self-talk seems to fall into comfortable ruts, and depressed mind likes depressed thoughts. Depressed mind does not want to change. It took me years to work through, and it made a huge difference. You can change your self-talk and learn to appreciate yourself. Here are some links that explain this further. Refuge Center, or the Mayo Clinic, or if you search for "affirmations" that could help.

Learning to be grateful for what you have right now (ability to see, to walk, to breathe easily, etc) can help you create positive thoughts, which, if nothing else, means you're not spinning out in negative ones. The disordered mind will try to negate these positive thoughts, it will fight them, and it's hard, but stick with the truth.

Learn to appreciate your inner qualities, such as your kindness, your sincerity, your creativity, your generosity. Train your mind to tie in a specific example of your actions showing this, such as. "I gave my dog attention and this is one way I am kind." "I spontaneously sent my aunt a postcard and this is one way I demonstrate my generosity," etc. A book, Reflective Journaling (free pdf version) has some good sections on learning to appreciate yourself. Also, Radical Acceptance is quite good, too.

>I see skinnier girls than me on the street, and hate myself even more.

This is comparing mind at work. There will always be people lighter than you, and always people heavier than you. A way to overcome jealousy is to be happy for another's happiness. If you think someone is more attractive, be happy for them. Just as if you had some success and you wanted friends to be happy for you, give what you want. Just be happy for them. Jealousy is a form of anger (aversion, you don't want it that way), which is said to be like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.

Also, our media portrays thin women as happy and sexy and successful, and has brainwashed us to believe that unless women look like 14 year old girls, we're not going to be happy or sexy or successful. Take an objective look at natural women's bodies. Go to a shopping mall, or other public place where there are a variety of ages present. Notice that most women over 22 have curves, and we don't look anything like a 14 year old, or an actress or model trying to sell a product-- remember, movies are products that movie makers want to sell.

Please seek help, if not your parents, then a teacher/professor, a medical doctor, or perhaps some of the links in the sidebars and the phone numbers they provide. More power to you!

This is a really really excellent book on caring for ED individuals. It's geared towards family members, but is an excellent resource for a care team as well.

Skills-Based Learning for Caring for a Loved One with an Eating Disorder: The New Maudsley Method

I'm the father of a 15 year old daughter who has been in AN treatment since she was 9. She's been in individual therapy, iop, partial, residential, and inpatient through a program where I live (not Emily program). It can indeed feel overwhelming. Personally, I found the the most important things to remember were:

1. She's still your daughter. Love her, no matter what
   
   
2. Your daughter is ill. She is not just being stubborn, or rebellious. She needs help.
   
   
3. Her care team has a lot of experience with this. Work with them. Don't be afraid to ask questions.
   
   
4. Look for, and cherish all improvements, no matter how small.
   
   
5. Take care of yourself. It's not a sign of weakness if you need help getting through this yourself
   
   
6. It's not your fault she has an eating disorder
   
   You don't mention which ED she has. These are a couple of books I really liked. Obviously AN-oriented.
   
   Brave Girl Eating: A Family's Struggle with Anorexia - by Harriet Brown
   
   Decoding Anorexa - How Breakthroughs in Science Offer Hope for Eating Disorders by Carrie Arnold
   
   The folks at Emily Program can recommend others. Learn as much as you can.
   
   
   Never give up hope.
   
   
   Feel free to pm me

My nutritionist recommended Embody by Connie Sobczak. It REALLY helped me begin to let go of achieving the "perfect" body. I honestly give it credit for the amount of progress I've made regarding having a healthier outlook on eating/exercising.

https://www.amazon.com/embody-Learning-Unique-quiet-critical/dp/0936077808