Top products from r/Fencesitter

We found 11 product mentions on r/Fencesitter. We ranked the 9 resulting products by number of redditors who mentioned them. Here are the top 20.

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Top comments that mention products on r/Fencesitter:

u/Kael_Climate · 5 pointsr/Fencesitter

I don't know about articles but there's a really good book about it. It's called "The Baby Decision" and I reckon it's a must-read for every fencesitter.

Very comprehensive, quite objective and if your aren't a hardcore CF or wannabe parent - it could really help you.

Good luck with deciding.

u/noxious_toast · 16 pointsr/Fencesitter

I just finished a book (more a collection of essays) called Nobody's Mother. I really enjoyed it, would recommend. It's written by a bunch of older women who made the decision to be childfree, and each of their essays circles around questions like do they ever regret their choice, do they feel less meaning/significance in their lives because of it, etc. If nothing else, it's nice to know you're not alone in agonizing over what really is a super complex decision :)

u/molotovmimi · 3 pointsr/Fencesitter

They're two different books of hers that she talked about in a podcast I love.

Cribsheet is about raising a healthy human puppy and Expecting Better is about the actual pregnancy itself and all the conventional wisdom that doesn't seem to be backed up by any hard data.

u/PookiePi · 3 pointsr/Fencesitter

I've never read it myself, but I've heard good things about Dad's Behaving Dadly.

It sounds like exactly what you're looking for. From my recollection, it's a collection of essays and stories written by different dads about all sorts of different subjects relating to fatherhood. There's a second book in the series too if you read this one and want more.

u/queenofthebongo · 40 pointsr/Fencesitter

Pregnancy, breastfeeding and recovery are hardly insignificant. The physical toll is immense, of course, but an increasing number of studies document the ways in which a woman's brain is also permanently altered by these processes.

But putting that aside, I'm afraid it's naive to imagine that liberal egalitarian couples manage to parent equally. You might want to check out the below-linked book, an academic study of heterosexual couples in the first year of parenthood. In fact, the researcher finds, the couples most committed to equal parenting -- and who, before kids, had truly equal partnerships -- have the hardest time with the transition. None are entirely successful in equal parenting -- NOT through any fault of their own, but because our entire culture is geared toward placing the main burden on mothers.

link to book

So yeah. It's almost always an easier job to be the dad, even if a man's intention is to be a totally equal partner. To change this would require us to change the very way we as a society imagine parenthood, to say nothing of the necessary infrastructural changes to do with work, leave, childcare, and so on.

u/amarylliseva · 4 pointsr/Fencesitter

Why don’t you give him a little bit of homework? There are two books that I think he should read to get a better grasp of what child rearing entails and what it will do to your marriage: the first is called All Joy and No Fun: The paradox of modern parenthood. The second is called All the Rage: Mothers, Fathers, and the Myth of Equal Partnership.

Maybe he’s not a reader. So what? If having kids is something he wants, and your conversations about your concerns aren’t having an impact on him, then him committing to read and discuss these books with you will at least show that he’s willing to do some work toward understanding how you’ll both be in this together. And if he’s not willing to do the work of reading the books… Girl, that in itself tells you a lot.

u/permanent_staff · 3 pointsr/Fencesitter

I appreciate that you give serious consideration to the ethics of bringing new beings into existence. If you want some more structure to this thinking, David Benatar's Better Never to Have Been is well worth the read. His argument is very rigorous and persuasive.