(Part 3) Top products from r/ForeverAlone

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We found 22 product mentions on r/ForeverAlone. We ranked the 111 resulting products by number of redditors who mentioned them. Here are the products ranked 41-60. You can also go back to the previous section.

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Top comments that mention products on r/ForeverAlone:

u/captaincrawdad · 17 pointsr/ForeverAlone

This is an incredibly standard case. I see a lot of people giving you sympathy and talking about their similar situation, but you aren't going to get better until you take a step back and actually analyze the situation.

Do you "love" this girl because she has all of the virtues that you value in a person, or is it because she is the first and only female that has let you have sex with her? Clearly, if there is some random bro that she would rather fuck than you, you were mistaken about something. This is the "Halo Effect." You projected all of your illusions upon her. You've always dreamed of what it's like to have a girlfriend and you simply believed that the first girl who gave you a passing interest was the perfect one. This is not the case.

Now let's be realistic. This girl probably thinks you're a nice guy, easy to talk to, etc. However, she probably finds you mostly unattractive, or at the very least an embarrassment to be seen publicly with. I don't know how you ended up as friends with benefits, but clearly she doesn't see you fit enough for a relationship. She probably knew that she would end up cheating you and devastating you more than she did by breaking it off early.

That being said, you can NOT continue to be friends with this girl. It is impossible. You will only prolong your torture. Delete her number, remove her as a Facebook friend, get rid of any way of contacting her. Once you do that, you'll be free. Once she doesn't make any effort to make amends, you'll realize how little your friendship means to her and HOPEFULLY you'll realize that you were wrong about her the entire time.

Finally, in order to really remedy this situation, you need to get some self respect. Get a sense of life. It seems as if you put your entire self worth, your whole life, and your happiness squarely on the shoulders of another person. Learn to appreciate that YOU are the sole justification for your existence. Learn to be happy with who you are on your own. Love yourself, because if you don't why would anyone else want to love you?

Sure Katherine is a shitty person for leading you on as much as she did, probably fueled by her guilt of your eventual heartbreak and the desire to maintain the outlet for her emotional spewings. HOWEVER, this situation is NOT her fault. It's YOURS for not seeing her for who she truly was. It's YOURS for valuing her as much as you did. It's YOURS for making her the sole key to your own happiness. If you can fully comprehend and accept that, you will feel infinitely better.

My recommendation? Never speak to her again (even if she reaches out to you), partake in your favorite hobbies (or start a new one), and read Atlas Shrugged. It will change your life.

u/PuzzlePirate · 4 pointsr/ForeverAlone

> When I see bizarre, broad generalizations being made about women

When you run into something like this you should always try to think about what the other person's life experience might be that leads them to their beliefs.

For example: Let's say you meet a man, or a teen, who tells you "women don't like sex". A man who thinks this may have a life experience of growing up both unattractive and being surrounded by male friends & family who are also unattractive. In his life experience, as well as those he is close to, women will express little to no sexual desire in front of them. Sometimes women will do this as a self-defense measure against catching the attention of men they are not interested in. Other times this man's life experience will be constrained because he's never been around when women meet attractive men. This can happen because we all live in our own social bubbles and often don't pay much attention to others outside of our bubbles.

An unattractive man who lives his life around other unattractive men may spend his lifetime never seeing the "I want you" look in a woman's eyes. If he never sees that look, weather at himself or those around him, he may not believe it exists.

Back in the days we all lived in small towns you may have an entire town of unattractive men who have never seen women expressing sexual desire. With our more mobile country and social media it's becoming harder to be so sheltered, but it still seems to happen from time to time. I think it probably is more common among teens because they tend to be more self-focused.

>If someone, especially a women, wants to give you a little nudge in a different direction it might actually, maybe be worth considering.

If she's a lesbian who's been in relationships, than sure. But if you've never had the experience of seducing another woman then any advice is dubious at best. Most people lack a good amount of self-awareness so to believe that women know what they want or what they respond to is just incorrect. Even the NYT knows that women don't know themselves:

>All was different with the women. No matter what their self-proclaimed sexual orientation, they showed, on the whole, strong and swift genital arousal when the screen offered men with men, women with women and women with men. They responded objectively much more to the exercising woman than to the strolling man, and their blood flow rose quickly — and markedly, though to a lesser degree than during all the human scenes except the footage of the ambling, strapping man — as they watched the apes. And with the women, especially the straight women, mind and genitals seemed scarcely to belong to the same person. The readings from the plethysmograph and the keypad weren’t in much accord. During shots of lesbian coupling, heterosexual women reported less excitement than their vaginas indicated; watching gay men, they reported a great deal less; and viewing heterosexual intercourse, they reported much more. Among the lesbian volunteers, the two readings converged when women appeared on the screen. But when the films featured only men, the lesbians reported less engagement than the plethysmograph recorded. Whether straight or gay, the women claimed almost no arousal whatsoever while staring at the bonobos.

One woman learned the difference between men & women when she went undercover as man and she wrote a great book about her experience. Here is an interview with her.

u/superluser · 3 pointsr/ForeverAlone

Here's what I'm doing:

  • Board game night at local game shop
  • Meetups
  • Therapy (probably has made the most difference in my social skills, but the least in my relationships. I expect a big payoff when I finally do start to date, though)

  • Books. I would recommend finding some books on relationships written by credible sources. Find something that has a score of 4 or 5 stars on Amazon, is written by someone with a Ph.D and has more than 30 pages of endnotes. It's probably not written by a looney. If you find a good one, let us know!
  • My book list: Loneliness (about the condition of loneliness, not relationships, but good nonetheless), The 5 Love Languages (not written by an expert, but decent for starting a conversation with someone about a relationship that you are looking to improve), and I'm about to start Marriage, A History, which is about the tradition of marriage and how love matches became the dominant factor in marriage.

    Things that I have tried that do not work:

  • Religious studies groups (be fair, I joined it for casual friendships, and that's what I got out of it)
  • Gym (I don't have the energy to get out to a gym, but I can exercise indoors)
  • Ballroom Dance classes (you'll have fun dancing, but no one will follow you out of the class. I think it's true for other types of dance as well)
u/trebory6 · 1 pointr/ForeverAlone

The trick is to not take the silences and whatnot personally. It's hard, but that's the trick.

So, I know this is going to sound cliche, but the book that helped me quite a bit is How to Succeed with Women. I would highly recommend it, as it not only helps with talking to women, it also is really good at teaching you to gain confidence by re-evaluating rejection as a good thing, instead of bad.

u/LoveScoutCEO · 1 pointr/ForeverAlone

From fiction what about Sherlock Holmes? In the original books he is portrayed as the King of the FAs.

What about examples from real life? Leonardo DaVinci, Nikola Tesla, and George Eastman qualify. Charles XII of Sweden is probably the greatest general most people have never heard of, and despite being handsome, athletic, and a king, he was probably FA.

Winston Churchill was about the geekiest FA on the planet and goes on live a rich fulfilling life. Yes, he eventually marries, but he basically marries his first and only serious girlfriend at almost 34 years old.

To me that qualifies and because you mentioned books I suggest you read Manchester's biography. It is stone cold brilliant: https://www.amazon.com/Last-Lion-Winston-Churchill-1874-1932/dp/0385313489

u/prince_muishkin · 1 pointr/ForeverAlone

From what I've heard (59 seconds) that is the way to go, basically when talking to an eventual mate it's good to bring up weird stuff. Then you can quickly tell if you connect, or something like that.
Hope that helps.

u/flabcannon · 2 pointsr/ForeverAlone

Have you tried reading non-fiction books? They usually stay pretty focused on the title topic. That's what I do, anyway.

Here's one if you need a recommendation -
http://www.amazon.com/Thinking-Fast-Slow-Daniel-Kahneman/dp/0374533555/

u/IUreditor · 2 pointsr/ForeverAlone

LOL

maybe instead of watchin netflix u should read a book

http://amzn.com/0448445492

u/Bukujutsu · 1 pointr/ForeverAlone

No, this is false: http://www.amazon.com/War-Before-Civilization-Peaceful-Savage/dp/0195119126

It's the romanticisation and pacification of history. The myth has been promoted a long time and backlash was relatively recent.

u/calmdrive · 1 pointr/ForeverAlone

Previously I had been to psychologists for talk therapy and psychiatrists, etc... None of that was productive until I discovered Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR). There are aspects of it that I think were adapted or influenced by CBT. I see a doctor of psychology, but there are many others without doctorates who are licensed to perform EMDR.

Check out this book, it was written by the woman who discovered and developed it.

Also, the wikipedia article is decent.

u/[deleted] · 1 pointr/ForeverAlone

I read a lot. After work I sit by the pool, dip my legs in the water, and read for a few hours. I'm currently fighting with Gödel, Escher, Bach, but it's kicking my brain's ass.

u/sergei_magnitsky · 1 pointr/ForeverAlone

Obviously you can run wherever, and as far as lifting goes, there are a bunch of bodyweight exercises you can do at home (see e.g. this book.

But honestly, lifting at the gym is best. If your anxiety affects you going out anyplace, not much to say. But there's really nothing special about the gym. You sometimes see e.g. overweight girls talking about not wanting to go to the gym out of worry over being ridiculed, but that just doesn't happen. People pretty much worry about themselves -- no one pays that much attention to other people working out.

u/Icantstopjackingoff · 0 pointsr/ForeverAlone

I would not have spent the time typing that out just to troll. THIS. Your cynicism is probably a bigger issue than any of the stuff you believe to be your problem. You can change your mindset http://www.amazon.com/Rewire-Your-Brain-Think-Better/dp/0470487291 This is an easy to read, easy to understand book. It's technically self-help but it's not really self-help as it is written (and is) in a more scientific manner. Also everything in it is empirically true and it lays out step by step how to go about following the methods. But you believe what you want to believe. It's your loss. You are this way because you want to be this way http://www.amazon.com/Choice-Theory-Psychology-Personal-Freedom/dp/0060930144/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1462798234&sr=1-1&keywords=choice+theory It's easier, you don't have to do anything, you don't have to challenge yourself, you don't have to risk anything. You want to avoid pain, you want to avoid hardship, but the truth is, those things are unavoidable, you are only fooling yourself. Change isn't always easy, I won't say it is, there will be moments of pain, but there is an alternative if you choose to take it.

u/auberginehearts · 8 pointsr/ForeverAlone

Some of them, the high functioning ones, can be pretty damn good at masking their anxiety. I've been reading this book, My Age of Anxiety by Scott Stossel. He is the editor of Atlantic magazine but holy crap is he messed up. I only have mild anxiety issues but reading about his life long struggle with severe anxiety problems...Jeez.

Here's an article he wrote as a sample of what the book is like: http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2014/01/surviving_anxiety/355741/

It's super fascinating and I'm really enjoying the book. I'm just amazed that a man with his kind of debilitating problems has managed to be so successful in life. He has multiple straight up phobias -- enclosed spaces (claustrophobia); heights (acrophobia); fainting (asthenophobia); being trapped far from home (a species of agoraphobia); germs (bacillophobia); cheese (turophobia); flying (aerophobia); vomiting (emetophobia); and, naturally, vomiting while flying (aeronausiphobia).

He's been on meds and therapy for a long time and so much of life just fills him with constant dread. That's what living with severe anxiety is like. You can then extrapolate what it's like to have milder forms of anxiety.

I have mild anxiety -- I can sometimes be crippled with worry about my marks at school; I berate myself hours later or days later about "stupid" things I've said to people (even though in reality they've probably forgotten about it or didn't notice it); I remember a lot of "stupid" things I've done in the past at random times, things that might have happened 10 years ago; I get anxious making phone calls sometimes, especially when calling places like banks or institutions where I need a service; I procrastinate on doing things (sometimes months and months, even years) when I've managed to convince myself only the worst case scenario will happen (and when I finally get around to doing the thing, nothing bad actually happens); and so on.

I used to have social anxiety but I managed to "beat" it and now I just have mild generalized anxiety. My social anxiety though used to cause me to avoid going to parties or social events because I was constantly worried about making an ass of myself; I was convinced nobody liked me or that no one could like me; I felt I didn't have anything to contribute to conversations and I was too weird; I could have panic attacks and run away to a quiet place to get away from people for a moment (I have literally RUN out of a room mid-conversation before, and tried to find my shoes and get out of the house); I was scared to talk to people; and just had poor self-esteem in general.

But I got over it...by realizing people like me and wanted to be my friend. They weren't just faking it to be polite or to uphold basic social niceties. They really genuinely liked me. I also HAD to talk to people at work or school. You can't hide from everyone. It really built up my confidence and it took years to get to where I am now.

I worry a lot more than average about shit that normal people are relaxed about. That's basically what anxiety is like. Most people would NEVER guess I have anxiety issues. They think I'm normal but I'm pretty high-functioning when it comes to my anxiety and depression problems.