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Oh my god I did not even know until now that I have been waiting years for someone to make this post

As a very much out-of-the-closet believer in waifu-ism I can totally get this. Have you ever read Beautiful Fighting Girl by Saito Tamaki? There's a really interesting excerpt in it where he actually talks about how he thinks that people that experience serious attraction to fictional characters don't so get reality and fiction confused so much as they have a heightened sense of the line between the two. Like, you kind of have to be able to mentally acknowledge the difference to really get that feeling.

Whispers' Waifu omake by Whispers please make this happen

Your waifu is pretty high tier :O I gotta get back on that... It got deleted off of my laptop somehow, but I have it on my hard drive :O

But yeah. I totally hear you. I think at first I got into Saber because she was cool and she hit stuff with a sword and she disappears at the end of the 2006 anime and it broke my heart, but as I got more into the VNs and the new shows I started to really connect with her on a deeper level. She has this self-sacrificial altruism that's really admirable and tragic to watch, and she has a pretty simple wish, but she's surrounded by crazy things and people that make her life crazy.

She's definitely not a perfect character at all, she's idealistic, but often to an impractical fault. I like that she's tough and has a strong sense of responsibility, but she can still take this really cute and innocent joy in simple things like food and get adorably petty about silly little things.

With the "It's probably not the healthiest" thing, you're right, it's not "the healthiest." But there are so many things that could be worse than owning an anime body pillow (daki master race reporting in :D)

For me, the waifu thing did start kind of as a joke, but I have the same thing where having Saber as an anchor really pulled me out of some really long-term, self-harming interactions with people.

When things get extra crazy, I actually have an email account that I label as hers, and I'll just send emails to it from my own email. So it's like a diary, but it's a bit more... personal, I guess? Like starting my diary entries with "Dear Saber, " instead of "Dear Diary." So it's like... There's an instance of the character who lives in my head, and by addressing my journal entries to her, I'm still writing to myself, but I can do it without an extra helping of self-loathing XD

And now her regalia is my GWA namesake :3 Look at how far we've come! I think this July marks my five year anniversary of officially declaring Saber as my waifu XD

I think audios are a wonderful way to entertain fictional character fantasies, too :) I'd love to hear more shenanigans like that!

Wonderful post :) Thanks so much for sharing these personal feelings with us :D

Here you go, ladies.

Pegging. Thoughts?

• No thank you. Even if he asked for it, I’d be worried about doing him an injury by mistake. Not a sexy feeling.
  
  
  How old were you when you lost your virginity?
  
  
• 15.
  
  
  If you could change it, would you make it earlier or later?
  
  
• The date is less relevant than the individual I chose. I’d change the person.
  
  
  Do you like using toys in the bedroom?
  
  
• On my own, yes. Though much less often, now that I have the miracle of sexy audios. I prefer my hand.
  
  What is your go to song for when you are
  
  
• a) sad - Uno, Ludovico Einaudi
  
  
• b) contemplative - Gong Meditation
  
  
• c) happy - Get Lucky, Pharrell Williams. I associate it with walking into the Louvre in Paris.
  
  
• d) head over heels smitten - To each man his own song, but in the past I've swooned to Simply Beautiful (Al Green) and Keep Them Kisses Comin' (Craig Campbell)
  
  
  When was the last time you laughed a lovely laugh full of mirth?
  
  
  
• Last week. Something a friend said in response to another friend, that cracked me up. Extremely not-PC remarks about Easter between a Catholic and a Jew. The kind of thing only two very good friends could get away with riffing on.
  
  
  What is your favourite colour and what does it signify?
  
  
• All the colors. What I wear entirely depends on my mood and my whim. I'll admit my closet and drawers are color coded. For your reading pleasure, this is an excellent book about the origins of pigments; [Color: A Natural History of the Palette](https://www.amazon.com/Color-Natural-History-Victoria-Finlay/dp/0812971426/ref=pd_bxgy_14_img_2?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=0812971426&pd_rd_r=WPK9M49AJFY6BVCG98HN&pd_rd_w=cAyMT&pd_rd_wg=sySho&psc=1&refRID=WPK9M49AJFY6BVCG98HN
  ), by Victoria Finlay. It is well worth your time.
  
  
  And the SUNDAY SPECIAL for this week:
  Your favourite on screen villains/ vamps of all time...
  
  
• Total fail here, ladies. I got as far as whoever shot Bambi’s mother, the eponymous star of Alien, and was wondering if Hitler counts (because he is in so many movies) when I stalled out. Was pondering horrible characters, when I realized that if they are good at being villains I don’t like them, so the concept of having favorites doesn’t really work for me.
  
  
  
  

EDIT: Already found it and a few other things. My initial handout for meditation, a follow up 10pg hand out for meditation, and worksheets for Chapters 3 and 4 in the book. Chapter 3 is "Identifying and Rating Moods," and chapter 4 is, "Identifying Situations, Emotions, and thoughts."

I put a list of acronyms and their descriptions at the bottom, since I threw in some shorthand.

I meant to add this in the post last night, but I was drifting in and out of sedation. There is a workbook called Mind Over Mood that, as to my understanding, is very common to given when doing CBT. I have the first edition of this book with, I think, zero marks in it. There is a second edition that came out in 2015 (20 years since the first edition), but I can't speak on what's changed. I assume it was updated to fall more in line with the DSM-5 and new APA standards, since it seems to work with the DSM. This book works great with a therapist, but there are plenty of things you can educate yourself from it by just reading. For me the book didn't help, BUT I never tell people to ignore it since all our experiences are unique to us.

The primary reason I bring the book up is it deals with intrusive thoughts specifically. I do not endorse it as a replacement for professional help. If you would like to see scans of some of the sections of this book to get a feel of it, or think it would be useful to own in general, I will make a whole hearted attempt to find it. If you think owning the book would be helpful to you in a positive way, I will mail it to you free if you're in the US, if you are comfortable with that. I believe P.O. Boxes circumvent the need of any personal details, but I'm not 100% on that. If you aren't in the US, I can't speak to how helpful it would be with therapeutic treatments there, but I will still ship it if the cost is reasonable. That said, if you aren't in the US, Amazon may have it dirt cheap used, especially since it appears out of print.

As side note: if anyone knows a good scanner app that's a reasonable price for iOS, that would be helpful. For a lot of things really, but particularly this.


List of acronyms used
CBT - Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: Generally a short, goal oriented therapy to change your mental health and outlook. I say generally, because I was in it for almost two years before I was told I had exhausted all options.

APA - American Psychiatric Association: The main professional organization of psychiatrists.

DSM - Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. The DSM-5 is the edition in use. Published by the APA, the US has moved on to this, but under a bit of controversy. I'll leave personal opinion out of it, but if you don't live in the US it won't affect you.

Again, a PM or a reply here, and I'll do my best to offer what I can. To reiterate what u/Ensellure said, love yourself, believe in yourself, and understand it does take time.

Take care of yourself.

actually I do have a submission.

The Impossible Fortress - Jason Rekulak

Nerds and Misfits and pre-internet hacking involving a Vanna White Playboy magazine. in the 80s. What's not to like?


“A sweet, funny, and moving tribute to nerds and misfits everywhere.” —Seth Grahame-Smith, New York Times bestselling author of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

Until May 1987, fourteen-year-old Billy Marvin of Wetbridge, New Jersey, is a nerd, but a decidedly happy nerd.

Afternoons are spent with his buddies, watching copious amounts of television, gorging on Pop-Tarts, debating who would win in a brawl (Rocky Balboa or Freddy Krueger? Bruce Springsteen or Billy Joel? Magnum P.I. Or T.J. Hooker?), and programming video games on his Commodore 64 late into the night. Then Playboy magazine publishes photos of Wheel of Fortune hostess Vanna White, Billy meets expert programmer Mary Zelinsky, and everything changes.

A love letter to the 1980s, to the dawn of the computer age, and to adolescence—a time when anything feels possible—The Impossible Fortress will make you laugh, make you cry, and make you remember in exquisite detail what it feels like to love something—or someone—for the very first time.

What is your life? Well, right now on the internet you’re providing a lesson to a complete stranger on the internet. To be fully honest, I’m assuming you’re not a pulmonologist or an SLP but it seems you know what you’re talking about, I’m still taking your advice, respectfully but with a few grains of salt.

I had thought about going to a speech language pathologist (SLP) so I went to two different SLPs that specifically offer trans voice training. After my initial evaluations, one said “I sounded fine” and didn’t think I would be “a good candidate.” WTAF?! The other didn’t take insurance or offer a sliding scale. Instead, she said that to “people in my financial situation,” she had suggested The Voice Book for Trans and Non-Binary People: A Practical Guide to Creating and Sustaining Authentic Voice and Communication by Matthew Mills and Gillie Stoneham. How honest!!

I tried doing your speaking exercises over the last several days and I realized that I am already having my belly expand a little when inhaling during meditation as well as when I’m breathing normally.

Before writing this comment, I spent the last couple days trying to do this while talking but old habits die hard! I don’t know if this is a factor but I live in a part of America that is well known for the stereotype as the fastest talkers in the Union and I’m also a chatterbox. That being said, I’m doing a little better with my speech patterns sounding more male, like having my speech a little more monotonous, less bouncy, more direct, among other “traditionally” Western masculine traits.

No prob! And here's the book: https://www.amazon.com/BabyCakes-Gluten-Free-Sugar-Free-Recipes-Talked-About/dp/0307408833

Not all of the recipes are gluten free but the ones that are, are insanely delicious. The minimalist baker blog is also really good when it comes to gluten free recipes :)

So for recording with my Samsung Note 5, I use the voice recorder app already on there. I've never had an issue with it. I use the Stony Edge Lapel Mic, which just plugs into your headphone jack for anything with the phone now. Haven't done a commute ramble with it yet, but I will.

For other recording purposes, I use a Blue Yeti Blackout Edition, and have a Blue Microphones Snowball USB Microphone, Cardioid Mode(Gloss Black) for mobile use (i.e. traveling). I have a generic pop filter I picked up at a music store, and a DR Pro Tripod Mic Stand with Telescoping Boom for streaming and recording at home.

The Yeti is a pretty popular mid-price mic for GWA peeps. Snowball is a GREAT starter mic though. My dream mic is a toss up between the Shure SM7B and the AT2035 (both please?)

For desktop recording/editing, a lot of people use Audacity, which is what I started with. I now use Reaper Pro to record, and Izotope RX6 for editing.

Disclaimer: None of these Amazon links are referral links, and I earn no money from them

I looked up your mic and it seems pretty decent sounding, so I'm guessing it's part mic placement and part room. I read you have a couch in the room, I actually sit down on the ground with my mic on my couch so that it absorbs the reflections a lot more since the room is hardwood floors and pretty bare walls.

I'm using just a usb mic, a pretty cheap hobby one too, but once cleaned up, it sounds pretty decent lol. I've got the Snowball mic, which is the Yeti's cheaper sibling mic basically. You can hear it here in my verification. It does the job, but I do clean it up a bit in audacity after (and Adobe Audition if the particular recording calls for it lol)

Im an odd nut so its no surprise that this is my fave Christmas CD I've had it 20 years and won't give it up any time soon LOL.


Fave track? Deck the Halls with Parts of Charlie

Tequila is chill af and makes the commute go so much fast... although I sometimes wish the commute was longer so I could listen to it more. :P

And you're darn tootin' that I love cooking! A sizeable chunk of my YouTube subscriptions are just cooking channels and I got Cooking for Geeks for Christmas, and I'm still working my way through it...

dan is what he calls “addicted to context”...

ever read Richard A. Gabriel?.. tremendously interesting historian.. picked this one up, highly recommend.

I have two of those nice trivia books

I know this isn’t the trivia thread, but the poet Sir Charles GD Roberts was known to some — probably including bored students made to study his poetry — as “Sir Charles God Damn”.

> I would look for an adult beginners study book.

Have one :) It's finding time to crack it open. Very, very tough these days.

> Also, Wouldy, do you have (or have access to) a real piano or a full-sized keyboard with weighted keys and pedals?

Also previously owned semi-weighted piano. Have been thinking about getting another one. Again. it's the time factor. There is a family piano that is badly in need of a tune, though. May have to take advantage of that next go-round.

for novels

Mary Doria Russell - The Sparrow

Gregory Maguire - Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister

Bram Stoker - Dracula (was not at all what I was expecting; its formatted as a succession of letters, diaries, and I think news articles written from the POV of the various characters)