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Salaam sis. I just wanted to drop in to say that it truly does get better. Your heart and mind are both already in the right place, aH. Leave it to Allah and remain living your life with sabr.

I got out of something similar recently, and at first I was hurting and not understanding why I did what I did (initiate the breakup).. but aH Allah truly gives you the strength to move on. I feel more positive and content with myself now that I know I'm out of a wrong relationship. I'm at a stage where I now entirely understand that Allah swt. did not find this relationship to be what's best for me. I really recommend adapting this outlook on the breakup situation that happened in your life.

I started reading this book by Yasmin Mogahed, called "Reclaim Your Heart", and aH it has been of immense help and has given me the extra guidance I needed to understand that Allah knows whats best for us. I'll paste the Amazon link for you in case you want to check it out!

https://www.amazon.com/Reclaim-Your-Heart-Yasmin-Mogahed/dp/0990387682/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1532441245&sr=8-1&keywords=mogahed

Learning arabic isn't the only way to learn about Islam. So many books are translated to english these days that you could learn endlessly and still have more to read. There are tons of great online courses, podcasts, and other resources that teach tons of great subjects. That said, learning arabic for me was a way to help motivate me and for me to get closer to the Quran, basically, it just worked for me.

> Arabic is really not taught where I live

If you still want to learn arabic then I would recommend buying one of the books off amazon and finding a sister you trust and ask her to go through the book with you (offer to pay her if you have the means). Learning at the masjid can often be ineffective because they may not be trained teachers. Just invite your tutor to your place, a library, their place, etc. Exams can be stressful, I totally get that so work through the book but at your own pace. If you're just starting out practice by reading 1 page of Quran everyday, even if it takes 10-20 minutes, I promise you'll speed up later.

I've used both of the books listed below, one at uni and one at community college. They both are really good and used extensively.

1. Al-Kitab
   
   
2. Arabic for Lfe
   
   if you really can't afford them but are really interested I'd be willing to ship you a used one (or find a way to get you copy that you're comfortable with, like through the mods or something)
   
   
   hope this helps and may Allah make your learning easy for you

Make sincere du'a to draw closer to Allah. He is the turner of hearts, and one of the most frequent du'as that the Prophet saw made was for Allah to strengthen his heart on Islam.
Dua here: http://muslimmatters.org/2010/07/08/the-supplication-series-the-forgotten-piece-of-flesh/

Read the Qur'an! I recommend this translation by Emerick SO Highly http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1450549535/ref=pd_lpo_sbs_dp_ss_1?pf_rd_p=1944687502&pf_rd_s=lpo-top-stripe-1&pf_rd_t=201&pf_rd_i=1451506910&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_r=0WG5P7TSGY6RSPY18RRT

It has tafsir and context of the ayahs, and it makes you feel like you are really understanding it for the first time. I would read it and shake because it was like Allah was really talking to me. If you find another version that does that for it, connect with it.

Dhikr - keep you mind and tongue busy with remembering Allah - recite Qur'an, listen to Qur'an, make dua (in English is fine, or any language!), even just subhanallah wa bihamdihi (http://sunnah.com/bukhari/83/59)

Don't despair of Allah's mercy! Indeed He forgives all sins. http://quran.com/39/53

cyber hug

Assalamu 'alaikum sister :) may your life and soul be at peace, and may Allah bless you for your efforts

I second what Throwminigolf said about the sealed nectar. This book might be a good one to try though! I've found it to be a much easier read. It's not too long either, and is relatable.

Edit 2: Please read this right now. I pulled the relevant appendix from the epub doc and made it into a PDF for everyone. I don't usually steal people's writing but this is IMPORTANT and I don't think the scholar in question would mind this use.


Aisha was NOT six (or seven or eight or nine). Many, many scholars are now conceding that the historical evidence supports her being much older. She was probably in her late teens/early 20's. But DEFINITELY of a marriageable age by all standards, up until quite recently when we started extending our adolescence into our 20's, as life got easier. (I think we can all agree that being a teenager then was incredibly different from being a teenager now. Nobody should be marrying a teen these days. Ugh.) That aside:

A while back we tried forming a book club here in r/hijabis and one of the books we read was Muhammad: Man and Prophet by Adil Salahi. I don't know how many of us finished it, but I did. The book is reputable, scholarly, lots and lots of footnotes, sometime a little dense and hard to get through. Sometimes it leans on preaching the perfection of Islam rather than sticking to the biographical details. A bit conservative overall. Nothing Islamically that anyone could find any fault with, no matter how strict the Muslim.

With all the footnotes and proselytizing etc: there is only ONE appendix. What's in the appendix? (Edit: I misremembered the tone a bit. It's not apologetic.) It is a quite firm defense of the argument that Aisha was older, a denunciation of the idea that Aisha was six and a condemnation of anybody who still believes it. IMPORTANT ENOUGH TO BE THE ONLY APPENDIX.

This is not some sketchy website, this is a reputable, mainstream, impeccable publication we're talking about and a respected scholar speaking up to correct the record. How ANYONE can still believe otherwise boggles the mind. Either they just don't know, or they WANT her to be six because they're disgusting pedophiles.

PS, as others have said, you should leave your husband, he has no right to treat you that way.

2 ish months into my break from the search and it's been really good for my well-being, alhamdulillah. I've been reading Before You Tie the Knot (very slowly because work is busy atm) and I'm loving it. Learning lots about marriage in Islam and feeling way more at ease about the whole process for when I'm ready to get back to it.

While there may not be mosques around, I am a fellow revert and have had similar issues in rural NC myself. I have some general tips for issues I myself faced as an exurban/rural American revert.


First, when searching for mosques know that google maps may have them listed as “masjids” “mosques” or “Islamic centers,” all of which don’t always come up in the respective other’s search results, so try searching all 3 individually.


Secondly, a lot of colleges (even somewhat mid size to small ones) have Muslim Student Associations even if there is not a mosque in the town the MSA is in; if there are any local colleges within an hour-hour and a half of you, try google searching “_university MSA” and “__university Muslim Student Association” respectively. They are welcoming and let non-students of the college attend too. Often times in these small rural college towns, the MSA acts as the sole mosque for any non-student Muslims in the community.


Thirdly, I don’t know if you live anywhere near a state border, but the “Mosque Cares” organization (the Sunni Muslim group that is a heritage-based community of the American Nation of Islam followers who left the NOI for Sunni Islam with Malcolm X in the 1960’s/70’s) doesn’t have any mosques in Nebraska, but does have them in neighboring states. Since these mosques tend to be smaller than others, sometimes they’ll not show up on google maps when searching. Here is the link to the full list of addresses and contact info for all of the Mosque Cares-founded mosques: http://wdmministry-masaajidlisting.blogspot.com/2012/06/listing-in-order-by-state.html?m=1


And finally, take a look at these three fellow rural American Muslim reverts who speak about their experiences being a bridge between the Muslim and the majority non-Muslim rural American world’s.
https://www.amazon.com/Memoirs-Hillbilly-Muslim-Linda-Ilham/dp/1457502739

https://www.pbs.org/video/redneck-muslim-kdqugq/

https://youtu.be/C0EcbyIF9QM



Best wishes to you!

Here's a tutorial on all the daily prayers.

Here's an interactive website for learning to pray.

Here's a book on how to pray from Amazon.com

Also I recommend this app. It tells you when its time to pray and it has the entire Qur'an, an Islamic calendar, fasting tracker, etc. It's a really useful app mashaAllah.

Also, here is a post with a ton of introductory info about Islam in general.

Allah bless you.

You can get some mesh lingerie bags kind of like this and just run it through in that. It still has enough space to jiggle around and get clean, but not so much that it gets tangled up in itself or other things. All of my everyday ones I wash like this, then hang dry. Air drying helps with wrinkles (though not a concern with crinkle hijabs, I guess), and they dry really fast. I usually just leave them over the back of the sofa overnight.

I really liked the book In the Footsteps of the Prophet to read up on stories of the Prophet and his mission

Then I would let go of that expectation of them learning those languages. Most bilingual households introduce both languages from birth. I would focus on what you do know. I am also a convert SAHM and I have a two year old. I've prayed in his presence from day one and he's been mimicking the motions since about 18 months. Sometime we pretend pray and I let him lead the prayer. We also pretend to make wudu. Now that he's potty trained I make him perform wudu in the masjid bathroom before we enter the musallah. I say alhamdulillah whenever he sneezes and bismillah before he takes a bite of food. I recite Qur'an while I'm putting him to bed (ikhlas, falaq, and nas three times each per the sunnah) and I play a recitation during quiet time. I regularly listen to lectures in his precences. Point being, do what you know. If there's something you'd like them to learn but you don't know it, learn it with them.

EDIT: Get some Islamic books. I have a few from this series. Not the best kids book in the world but it introduces basic concepts to them. http://www.amazon.com/Can-Pray-Anywhere-Series/dp/0860373398

1. [Reasoning with God](https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0742552330/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_bibl_vppi_i1 by Dr Khalid Aboul Fadl)
   
2. Open QnA Mufti Abu Layth - Available On youtube
   
3. Recent Articles by Dr Farhad Shafti

Genubi Tie Hanger Loop Scarf Hanger Holder, Multifunctional 28 Loop Scarf Racks, Tie Racks Closet Organizer and Storage (Multiple Color to Choose) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07Q2XGBC6/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_Z5tsDbK04M04R

I didn't say it was a comic book, but it is.

Many of the books on iran are popular not because they're accurate but because they correspond to and verify a pre-existing preferred narrative, and Not Without My Daughter was the maximalist version.

So Persepolis is pushing her own agenda and making false claims ie: "virgins" have to be raped prior to execution in iran because "Islam prevents them from going to heaven" -- which is total rubbish and atrocity propaganda.

Similarly, http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A60490-2004Jul18.html

read more:
http://weekly.ahram.org.eg/Archive/2006/797/special.htm

Other books that didnt' get as much attention
https://www.amazon.com/Searching-Hassan-Journey-Heart-Iran/dp/1400032237

If It's ok, I did some digging into those titles.

Is "Satanic Scriptures" this book? It's written by the leaderof the Church of Satan, which doesn't actually believe in a supernatural Satan.

The Time article on Baphomet likely refers to a statue put up by the Satanic Temple, which also doesn't believe in Satan.

Occultation, the only result I could find was a collection of Lovecraftian horror stories, not exactly something troubling imo but also something I would hide from conservative Muslim parents

Couldn't find a clear answer to what the other two books could be

I should point out a lot of modern "Satanist" groups like The Satanic Temple and the Church of Satan don't actually worship the devil. They're atheistic/nonreligious organizations that adopt "Satan" as a humorous symbol against religion. Just something to keep in mind if you ever bring it up with your cousin; based on those titles alone I don't think she's actually worshipping Satan

well he's a story about how america is "sorry" http://www.nbcnews.com/id/39456324/ns/health-sexual_health/t/us-apologizes-guatemala-std-experiments/#.XZV7DkZKhPY

but there's alot history about what america did to latin america. there was even instances of the govt hiring white supremacist paramilitary mercenaries CMA to fight in latin america

One recent book that was published is on how bananas led to the genocide of Guatemalans at the hands of people supported by the US govt and other violence in latin America

Bananas: How the United Fruit Company Shaped the World

https://www.amazon.com/Bananas-United-Fruit-Company-Shaped/dp/1847671942/ref=asc_df_1847671942/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=312174369544&hvpos=1o1&hvnetw=g&hvrand=11924861066787226214&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9014969&hvtargid=aud-801738734305:pla-316480504217&psc=1



edit: Sorry forgot to add links

There are entire categories identified as weak and/or fabricated hadith that scholars have identified it's normal and often necessary (because they contradict so much) to reject those. Sahih hadith are much more reliable but muslims often refuse to acknowledge their limitations. Dr. Jonathan Brown
gives a good explanation for this and their usage. I would recommend quranists read this book if they can get their hands on it. Muslims will never get anywhere if they continously misunderstand quranists' perspectives and say they aren't muslim because they reject hadith. They have a fundamentally different view on them and it's important to properly address it from that perspective and lead them to the more sound path.