(Part 3) Top products from r/IllegalLifeProTips

Yeah, pure dumb luck mostly. I received a WASD key tester along with some stuff I ordered. It must have been accidentally packed by the picker which I'm sure happens a lot, but not predictably enough for it to be useful. I also ended up ordering a WASD mechanical keyboard shortly after so it ended up costing me quite a bit.

Also received a free Dell laptop kind of in the same way. My friend ordered a Dell laptop, they sent him the wrong one, so they gave him a shipping label to return it which he did, then he received the correct laptop as well as the laptop he sent back. Dell contacted him to say they didn't receive the laptop he sent back but he has the tracking number which indicated that they received it. Dell dropped the case after that and he ended up giving me the laptop.

here you go

This one is for the round tags, I’m pretty sure they sell the black stick one’s too. Just trying to find jt

I’ve made pretty good drinks using EZ Caps and Juicy Juice. It’s no moonshine in terms of alcohol content, but it’s easy as hell and the drinks are delicious

Which is why if I'm walking somewhere sketchy I palm this:

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B003WQMF48/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_image_o00_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

But hey, you keep carrying that big knife that makes you look like a thug if you get pulled over by the cops. I'm sure you know what you're doing.

Just a little fox piss in the cowl vents under their wipers should do the trick, especially when they need to use their A/C or heater.

EDIT: Follow the advice about using gloves. This stuff is strong, and there's no greater tell than walking around also smelling like fox piss.

Actually, Never Seez works really good for this. It won't harm anything, but she probably won't notice it for a while, and it will get EVERYWHERE. It's just graphite, though.

Look up "hacking neighbor's bluetooth speaker".. play porn at full volume once you're in.

Or.. drop a giant bag of dandelion spores in her garden and slowly watch them takeover. (https://www.amazon.com/Seed-Needs-Dandelion-Taraxacum-officinale/dp/B0042HY3LO)

Mix in as much of this as you can without making it inconspicuous.

Change out the Ethernet cable so a quick disconnect switch (item 1) sits connected to it. Then hook up two servo motors (items 2A and 2B) to an Arduino micro controller (item 3). Program the Arduino to actuate the servos to disconnect the internet then turn it back on about 15 seconds later, program it to do this about every 10 minutes nonstop. He will not get through a single game without disconnecting. Connecting items 2a and 2b to item 1 will require hot glue and or duct tape. Just tape item 3 to the back of item 1


Item 1
https://www.amazon.com/Internet-CUT-OFF-Kill-Switch/dp/B00RQVFHZ4

Item 2a-b
https://www.amazon.com/ElectroBot-Micro-Helicopter-Airplane-Controls/dp/B071KJV7DD/ref=mp_s_a_1_2?keywords=servo+motor&qid=1563946830&s=gateway&sr=8-2

Item 3
https://www.amazon.com/Elegoo-EL-CB-001-ATmega328P-ATMEGA16U2-Arduino/dp/B01EWOE0UU/ref=mp_s_a_1_5?keywords=arduino&qid=1563947177&s=gateway&sprefix=ardui&sr=8-5

WiebeTech Programmable Mouse Jiggler MJ-3 - 30200-0100-0013 https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00MTZY7Y4/ref=cm_sw_r_other_apa_i_wXGJDbS2HGR3V

https://www.amazon.com/Coca-Cola-Coke-Diversion-Stash/dp/B008RZ7F1M

my roommate uses these

https://www.amazon.com/Soda-Bottle-Preforms-Caps-30/dp/B008MB1QNY/ref=sr_1_2?keywords=Soda+Bottle+Preforms+and+Caps&qid=1558506263&s=industrial&sr=1-2

​

they're called soda bottle preforms and he keeps joints in there and instead of the caps he uses corks, keeps the smell locked in

One of these, some PVC and tape, and some grill spray paint.

https://www.amazon.com/Attach-Your-Spray-Extension-Pole/dp/B004FEBDAI

Fucking rookie, get one of these. You can be done in under 2 minutes and they will have to call a tow truck and replace the valves.

Here you go OP. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B001RB2CXY/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_t1_dGlwDbNA1RJGE

FWIW, you can buy those fundraising cases pretty reasonably:

https://www.amazon.com/HERSHEYS-Holiday-Chocolate-Assortment-CARAMELLO/dp/B004FHC9I0?ref_=fsclp_pl_dp_1

It adds some realism to your scam.

Even the mail order ones: https://oldfashioncandy.com/candy-and-snack-fundraisers

Get one of these in the appropriate length for your neighborhood: Bully Tools 99207Water Key Steel Tstyle Handle 48-Inch https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00KOMTJCO/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_K.D7Cb6DG414K.

Go shut their water off at the curb whenever you like.

Edit: you will also probably need a wrench of appropriate size, as the lid usually has a bolt on it.

Vodka is clear so water bottle no? You can make/buy stuff like hollow deodorant flasks btw if you go full alkie. They wouldn't check that, be weird to drink out of outside of the privacy of a bathroom stall, but could smuggle it in such a thing and then transfer to a school bought bottle once all the checks are done?

Heres an expensive example. https://www.amazon.com/Multi-Flaskings-Bev-Can-Secret-Spray-Flask/dp/B01279M0P4

God school? https://www.amazon.com/Holy-Bible-Flask-Secret-Compartment/dp/B004V56CFC/ref=sr_1_17?keywords=secret+flasks

World runs on alcohol.

DON'T use vaseline for ground glass joints, it will screw you. Use a legitimate vacuum grease like this.

In addition, it's going to be near impossible to get safrole yourself, especially if you're in the US. Not only is safrole now listed as a known carcinogen, so there are no non-drug uses for it, any sale of safrole is heavily monitored by our boys at the DEA.

Even though you can synthesize safrole yourself from non-suspicious chemicals, it makes the whole process unprofitable.

PM me if anyone has questions.

Mad Dog 357


Holy shit this stuff hurts

No joke, 3 drops ruined an entire batch of taco meat

A quarter pound of pain

I may or may not have painted a thin layer across my former bosses keyboard and mouse. Wish I could have seen the moment that cock sucker rubbed his eyes.