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>Your Honor, /u/yellowsubmarie is a woman of many interest, one of her favorite meal is the consumption of Karma in high doses.

This is SPARTA!!!!... I mean Reddit, and we all aim to do one thing here, stuff our mouths so full of that sweet sticky karma. That does not establish motive.

>When she is not pigging herself in Karma that could have fed the needy she likes to bathes in the glorious light of the front page.

Last I checked your honor, Reddit is not a welfare state. This is not some distopia in which we upvote every post we see. There is a reason for these imaginary internet points, they remind the lower castes who is in charge around here. Secondly, The front page is the end goal of every post (ideally). It is the affirmation that our internet peers (13 year old boys acting hard core through the computer) accept and cherish our work. When you can't find love in life, where do you go? /r/single. When you had a bad day and no friends IRL, where do you go? /r/funny. When you feel you aren't pretty enough for that guy in real life that you pine for, where do you go for empty affirmations and sexual harassment? /r/pics. Your honor, Reddit is proof that someone lacks friends and therefore striving for the front page can not be seen as a crime at risk of being forced to indite every user.

>5.38 times more link karma than comment karma. Statistics that would make our audience shiver... This person likes getting attention and takes it on the good People of Reddit; diverting us from our lives so we can admire her.

I would like to quote the judgement (part of) from case 14KCC-4-2296gg.

>Each one here will strive for reputation as they please, Harlots they are only by a notable intent.

This is a judgement setting free to roam the defenceless people of reddit, /u/zirconiferous who as of this post has over 30,000 link karma and -2 comment karma. The math is impossible to show what correlation factor this is, but it equates to over 9000!, or approximately the absolute value of 15000. 5.38% is not even 0.1% of that factor. If that doesn't show intent, and in the eyes of the "law" it did not, then this is a shoddy attempt to soil the name of a innocent woman.

>Hence proving the point. /u/yellowsubmarie doesn't know jack about genetics and is spreading misconceptions about italians being the opposite of irish, confusing the masses.

Nothing was proven other than anyone can make a reddit profile and post opinions in comment threads. Thankfully, I too can navigate the dark muddy waters of comments to find my own, more reliable experts in forensic psychology to determine intent. /u/suicideselfie clearly states below that the argument is too literal, even for KC and that both "expert" witness' are actually, trolls.

>Oddly enough, a majority of the time people use the word "opposite" it is in the sense of an analogy or metaphor. Speaking in a strictly literal sense "hot" is not the opposite of "cold", merely a relative measure of more or less kinetic energy. In philosophy this is known as "the unity of opposites". Essentially our brains are preconfigured to think in terms of directional or spatial metaphors.Tldr There's no opposite of a gene... But most of things we regularly think of as having opposites don't have them either.

That's right, the other counselor is feeding the trolls. He is sitting down, on a bench, in a park, throwing bread crumbs to hungry the trolls. Now Reddit does not have many rules, but posted on the door of each sub, it clearly states, no outside food or drink, no shirt no shoes no service (except /r/gonewild) and DO NOT FEED THE TROLLS.

DoYouRememberMe?!.OFC

>Your Honor, isn't this symptomatic of a person seeking attention?

This is a logical post by someone who has not posted a picture of her and her sister recently. The most recent one was 3 months prior, if we use reposing rules as a guide, because no actual rules exist, she was 6 times above the acceptable time frame.


>Redditors.Losing.Their.Minds_becoz.of.her.RIP.PROPER_NTSC_TRUCODEC.R5.mkv

>What did /r/pics do to get that? Did they ask for it? No.

But we must ask ourselves, what did /r/pics ask for, and they asked for pics. Their motto is pics or GTFO. and thats exactly what my client did, she provided pics which is never a crime in /r/pics. blaming her for the ensuing troll feeding frenzy beacuse she was the inital target, is like blaming Arch Duke Ferdinand for the Great War or as some may call it WW1 or The War Where America Saves the World^part1. But I digress, The damage caused is not due to my client, but due to the evil that festers in the hearts of trolls.

>As for the latest charge NoPleaseIamNotYourSisterStopFollowingMe.Pls

>The accused is getting out of control, trying to take innocent people in her wake as she spirals down the drain

Innocent people suggests multiple, the prosecution is clearly trying to upgrade the charges with no actual evidence to do so. As for the claim that

>No ground as ever been provided as to prove the other woman is her sibling.

Let me provide what the American justice would call reasonable doubt.

Sworn testimony of /u/Hayasaka-chan

>My best friends just had their second son but you wouldn't know they were brothers. My friends are both natural blondes with blue eyes...same with their eldest boy. The little guy came out with a thick head full of brown hair and dark eyes!

Sworn Testimony of /u/greycatjack

>My husband has olive skin and black hair, I'm pale everything, and we got two kids with the same facial features but one colored like me, one colored like my husband. People sometimes miss the fact that their faces are pretty much the same because their coloring throws them off.

So, Your honor, It is the opposing council that does not understand genetics. The key term in this case would be Recessive Genes. Your honor, it is very apparent that my client is not guilty of all charges and that the opposing attorney needs to read Gregor Mendel: The Friar Who Grew Peas available on Amazon

The original image is still intact with the original Tweet. Anyways, your Honor, the Plaintiff wishes to submit the following as evidence: Initial Tweet, Reply Tweet, Study of Milk Properties, Think and Grow Rich Amazon Page.

Duly completed, honorable Quetzalcoatl. We are running low on worms from the garden so I took the initiative of instead purchasing a 5 pound bag of these Albanese delectables.

Read [this] (http://www.amazon.com/We-Are-Anonymous-LulzSec-Insurgency/dp/0316213527) book if you get a chance.

Oh, here's the book...

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00T69ZCRC/

Federal Rules of Civil Procedure; 2017 Edition

https://www.amazon.com/dp/1942842104



Federal Rules of Civil Procedure with Selected Statutes, Cases, and Other Materials 2017 Supplement (Supplements)

https://www.amazon.com/dp/1454882638

As the trial is about to start a music blasts through the courtroom's speakers.

• YOUR TIME IS UP,
  
  MY TIME IS NOW
  
  
• YOU CAN'T SEE ME,
  
  MY TIME IS NOW
  
  TheGrandDalaiKarma appears in full wrestling gear.
  
  I came here to bust your asses the losing attorneys won't be able to see me when I'm done with them.
  
  I'm representing /r/potatosalad.