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So glad I could help baby.

Well, besides meditation there is also spirituality/religion. I mean, don't hook up with one that encourages you to be a twat waffle, but humans have some sort of basic need filled by spirituality. And you have a lot of basic needs not filled. Give yourself permission to do whatever it is you need to build this foundation as long as it doesn't hurt other people.

And as far as meditation, there are a lot of flavors of that also. If you see some free class in another flavor at some point, you can always give it a go.

Are there any support groups you can join in your area for people who have similar backgrounds? A good "tribe" is a great building block for your life foundation (also another advantage to fining a spiritual group...but besides not joining The Ancient Order of Twat Waffles, be sure to educate yourself on what a cult looks like, you don't want to let yourself be taken in by one)

Hopefully you are also reading helpful materials. This in particular looks good: https://smile.amazon.com/Complex-PTSD-Surviving-Thriving/dp/B07MK5F3KQ

I think increasing basic life skills will also help put you in a better place. Watch videos or subscribe to helpful subreddits to learn things like financial literacy, cooking, cleaning, advocating for yourself, etc. Start small. If you can't really cook, maybe find a recipe for some soup. Making homemade soup is a good way to nurture yourself.

Also, if you try to do something new an fail at it, try cutting what you hope to achieve in half and going for that half-goal. You need to build yourself up little by little. If the half-goal does not work, cut that in half also.

Oh sweetie, I think this is something everyone thinks about, and I don't know if you ever really feel "ready" to have kids. I know that I didn't--but 2 healthy kiddos later, we figured it out. We wanted to wait until we both had jobs, had our living situation figured out, and had been married for at least a couple of years. We felt "ready" and we started to try. I was still terrified when I found out I was expecting. Only you and your partner can decide when you feel "ready", but realize that it will never be the perfect time to have kids. Also, as a woman, you do want to keep in mind that the older you get, the harder it might be to get pregnant. (Not for everyone, but statistically.) It's something to keep in mind as you plan.

If you feel like you might be almost ready, talk to your partner about it. Talk about your hesitations. Are they big giant roadblock? of just little speed bumps? Does he have any ideas on how to work through them with you? Are you scared about being pregnant? having the baby? caring for the baby? What are your (and his) concerns?

Once you feel like you have worked through your major concerns, maybe set a date to stop trying to prevent (you have been using something to not get pregnant, right? that's important too) or a date to start trying. We waited until after a big trip we had been planning. Then, keep talking. Share your fears with him. Talk through them together. Maybe do some research or learning. It helped me to read about what to expect. Some books that I enjoyed or found helpful were:

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Pregnancy Related:

• Expecting Better by Emily Oster
  
• What to Expect When You're Expecting by Heidi Murkoff
  
• Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy
  
  Babies:
  
  
• Happiest Baby on the Block by Harvey Karp
  
• Wonder Weeks by Frans Plooij
  
• What to Expect the First Yearby Heidi Murkoff
  
• Cribsheet by Emily Oster (wasn't around for me, but I loved her first book, so you might give it a shot)
  
  ​
  
  If you like to read, maybe give one or two a shot. You can also check out /r/Parenting and/or /r/BabyBumps to see what real parents are saying. Try to find some local moms to talk to about their experience--they can be a good support group later too.
  
  If you are a planner, do some checking on things that you might need to know about (daycare, pediatricians, etc) if that makes you feel better. Look at costs, locations, ratings, whatever you need to do to feel secure.
  
  Realize that even if you decide you are "ready" you may still freak out a little bit once it happens. Having a baby is scary and life changing, but that's okay! You can do this! You are awesome!
  
  Also, here's a little secret that no one talks about --no one knows what they are doing with raising kiddos, we all just fake it til we make it and muddle our way through the best we can. I still feel like I'm just pretending to be an grown up with kids.

This is the workbook I mentioned. It might sound and feel silly going through the exercises (even the author says as much in the intro), but it's a really good introduction to and starting point for using evidence-based ACT approaches to respond to the uncomfortable situations we've both found ourselves in.

Also, just keep hanging in there, man. One thing that's helped me is meeting and hanging out with some other dudes who are also going through, or have gone through, divorces. Those guys have been a source of all sorts of support, not just commiseration in the moment but also seeing people who are further along than I am/we are. People who've come out the other end of feeling like this who can look back and say, yeah man, that was a rough year or two. Almost everyone talks about this process like discovering a new version of themselves. Steel annealed and transformed into something stronger and more self-aware by the heat and intensity of difficult circumstances. You're clearly thinking about yourself and how to move forward, and that is a great thing. A comment that I heard early on in my process that rings truer every day: the pain will always be with you, but over time it becomes a memory of pain and not just the raw sensation of hurting. In an ideal world, you'll take the lessons learned about yourself, your attachment styles, and your values, and you'll find yourself waking up in a but of a new skin. One that treats people (including yourself) with more care and consideration than every before.

By all means take notes! I'm glad I can help :)

This book might also be helpful for you. My husband read it and said it matched a lot of what he's learned in our 16 years together.

https://www.amazon.com/Loving-Someone-Bipolar-Disorder-Understanding/dp/1608822192

I second everything this Mom says. I also wanted to add that I found this book really helpful after I had my kiddo, having suffered from prenatal and postpartum anxiety myself. And if you ever need a sounding board or some mom-ly thoughts about any moment of your parenting, please feel free to send a PM! This sub tends to be full of a lot of helpful, non-bonkers moms, which sometimes seems rare on the internet :)

It sounds like, in the least, you should read this: How To Survive The Loss Of A Love It's good for grief management.

In order to support others, you need to build yourself as a strong base first.

I know it’s depression and not alcoholism, but I’ve found this really helpful in my life and it may help you too: https://al-anon.org/pdf/S19.pdf

I’d strongly recommend reading the book “codependent no more” https://www.amazon.com/Codependent-No-More-Controlling-Yourself/dp/0894864025

Don’t listen to these tips. They won’t clean the odor. If I could be your “dad for a minute” use this stuff. Enzymatic odor eliminator. You should keep some around if you have a pet, it kills the bacteria that causes smells from organic fluids like urine or fecal matter. Thoroughly wet the area, put dawn then vacuum it dry. Spray with the enzymatic odor eliminator linked below and let sit for a while and dry. Spray again and it should be good to go.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B000FEEMLY/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1518922707&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_QL65&keywords=carrascent&dpPl=1&dpID=31qbDW3sAuL&ref=plSrch

Edit:They sell similar cleaners at any pet store. They work well but you have to get rid of the particulates first then spray.

OP, this book was helpful for me. It might be good for you too.

Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect https://www.amazon.com/dp/161448242X/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_-wkjzbACDSG5N

Heh, thanks--didn't want to self-promote without somebody asking. It's available from Amazon in paperback or Kindle. :)

See if this link works!

https://www.amazon.com/Today-Sponge-Vaginal-Birth-Control/dp/B002ATYHC6/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=the+today+sponge&qid=1569286778&sr=8-1

They do.

I use one of these and just shave right before I head out with dry skin over the toilet. It’s not like, absolutely perfect but I never nick myself and I can have my contacts in (I also have shitty vision) and use regular room light.

Also I can use the trimmer for my bathing suit lines and then shave down using the guarded blade part.

Never have bumps, either. I have dark hair and light skin so I can’t get away without doing it every day if I’m wearing skirts/shorts all the time, but most of the time I’m in jeans or long skirts so that doesn’t bug me- it’s quick, painless, and doesn’t need any extra prep.