(Part 3) Top products from r/Nanny

I work with little guys (13 months) so I can still get away with a fair amount of podcasts or audiobooks in the background to keep me from going crazy. We also listen to a lot of music thanks to Alexa. :)

I make a point of taking at least 15 minutes or so (usually more, but some days it's all I can manage) where I just take care of myself when the little ones are napping. I do use some of that time to either pick up the mess we've already made or start making some of our next meal/snack, prep an activity or whatever, but I always make sure to set aside some time for me to catch my breath, even if it means that bottles go unwashed for a bit or whatever.

Outside of work, I do get regular massages (at least once a month, usually more, though I should be more careful with $$ on that front), try to go out and see movies or go to concerts and stuff that make me feel like a real, functioning adult. For my body (my arms, shoulders, back etc have taken a real beating in 20 years of infants and todds) I use a foam roller, heating pad and also this. I'm actually ordering a second one to keep at work! TOTALLY worth it. It took me a little bit to get the hang of it, but now it's a god sent. I don't think I could make it without it. I have some chronic pain stuff, so I also use a TENS unit and some pain creams and whatnot. On a good day, I'm usually at a 2-3 (scale of 1-10) in aches and pains in my joints and muscles. On a bad day, that can reach 7 or so and I'll still go to work, so these aids help me get through the day without having to take too much medication.

I know this isn't something a lot of us can control sometimes, but I would say that one of the bigger steps toward "self-care" for me was when I realized I deserve to have a good working situation. Kicking a family out of the share that wasn't treating me (or the rest of the share for that matter) with respect was a big part of that. I'm so lucky because I really like the families I work for, but I also invest a little bit of time in cultivating a good relationship with them. We all get together about once a month or so these days and hang out for a few hours. It's been different each time. Once I taught CPR/first aid, and that turned into another hour of hanging out and getting to know everyone better. Another time we all hung out after a birthday party for one of the parents and sat outside with wine (and, um, other legal intoxicants in my state) and talked until 1 am. Tomorrow night we're just having happy hour/dinner and doing a little catching up/planning for what we want to focus on with the boys for the next couple of months. I don't get paid for this time, but I really don't mind. It's been so transformative for me to truly feel like I'm part of a team that's working together for these kiddos. That makes it just a completely different ballgame. It makes going to work easier. It makes asking for what I need easier. The planning and communication has been really good for the kids bc we're all on the same page. We're working on the same signs for the boys, and we all have the same ideas about nutrition and technology and outside time and what kind of toys we want the boys to have. It's like our own little village, and it's so great.

Eventually these two will have to go off to college and I'll need a new job (lol) but now I really know what I'm looking for "next" time. I've always been an advocate for open communication and whatnot, but I really like being a part of a team. I like the consistency in care, the respect the families show me, and the bond I have with my littles. It just makes my job a joy.

Secure caregiver attachment is the healthiest thing a child can have. Numerous studies show that children who are securely attached to an adult caregiver develop better in every area, and are generally more autonomous. There is no limit to how securely attached a child can be, and the more attached, generally, the better. Securely attached kids are also usually more comfortable being away from their caregiver or letting other children interact with their caregiver because they trust that their caregiver will still be there for them when they need their caregiver (Trawick-Smith, 2014) (Gonzalez-Mena and Eyer, 2018).

Insecure attachment, however, happens when a child is very attached, but does not have complete trust in their caregiver. They may fear that, if their caregiver starts interacting with other children that they will be forgotten, or that the caregiver will prefer the other children over them. Children in insecure caregiver relationships are generally less likely to be confident in themselves as-well, and sometimes show less interest in exploring the world around them (Gonzalez-Mena and Eyer, 2018).

The best thing for making sure a child feels secure in their relationship is to build trust. A caregiver should always be honest with the child, include them in things that concern them, respect and value their opinions, and always keep their word. Children need to know that their caregiver is going to be there to care for them when they have needs (Gonzalez-Mena and Eyer, 2018). These needs include physical needs, emotional needs, social needs, affectionate needs, creative needs, and cognitive needs (Chahin, 2008).

Sometimes insecure attachments can transfer over from previous insecure attachment. For example, if he has an insecure attachment with mom, then he will have a much harder time forming a secure attachment with a caregiver, even if that caregiver does everything perfectly (Gonzalez-Mena and Eyer, 2018).

Cool! I bet they loved them! Like said before, my son was obsessed with the bath drops. They make a great stocking stuffer for X-mas.

If you add on in the future, these are also a lot of fun. The tone changes depending on how much water is in them

Also fizzy bath bombs. This company makes some awesome/unique ones: https://www.lushusa.com/bath/bath-bombs/

Sounds like you're doing fine, the newborn is probably taking a lot in and as long as you're meeting her needs and find time to make her happy I think you're doing all that you need in regards to her care.

As for the older children, especially the 4 year old, it would benefit her to learn that you won't bring things everyday, how to manage her frustrations (know when she needs to take a break), and how to play by herself for a little bit.

Learning how to see mistakes differently may help her too

What time do you get there during the day? Are you allowed to take them out of the house? Are they signed up for any activities? When do the older children get home?

Toilet Training for Individuals with Autism Or Other Developmental Issues
https://www.amazon.com/Toilet-Training-Individuals-Autism-Developmental/dp/1932565493/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1518660882&sr=8-1&keywords=Toilet+Training+for+Individuals+with+Autism+Or+Other+Developmental+Issues&dpID=61y4nv7eEYL&preST=_SX218_BO1,204,203,200_QL40_&dpSrc=srch

I'm not sure this will help but this is a list of medical journal articles on the topic, it may be informative and relevant to your situation - http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/1096250612451758?journalCode=yeca

The autistic kiddos I've dealt came potty trained or wore nappies, I do not have experience with this, hopefully the links will help! Good luck!

The Beethovens Wig collection is AWESOME, my charges love them. There are 4 of them and they are so much fun:

http://www.amazon.com/Beethovens-Wig-Sing-Along-Symphonies/dp/B000060OLA/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1416081967&sr=8-1&keywords=beethovens+wig

Warning though, it will ruin classical music for you forever! All I hear now when listening to the 5th symphony is "Beethoven's wig...it's really biiiiig.." But they can be educational too, they will throw in the name of the composer and other stuff into the song.

EDIT to add: They Might Be Giants has a ton of cute (and educational) kid songs as well. We took my son to see the kids show live. When the kids were really little they loved The Wiggles (are they still around? lol). I also second Raffi, which someone mentioned.

The Great Myths of Child Development! Also, Baby 411 (newest edition).

Get them this book, Nanny and Me:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/1620867869/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_ZIM3BbAXGV3WG


Glue a picture of yourself with ur NK at the end, write them a sweet note on the book.


And dip!

One star? Really? Which book did you get? There are a lot of them in the series. I've only read this one: https://www.amazon.com/dp/0891093117/ref=cm_sw_r_other_awd_D.0IwbDM6B2VE and the one specific to toddlers.

Also, don't take the devices, take the chargers and they have to earn them back by being kind to the little ones for three days in a row. Since he sneaks them I'd take them home or get little locks to put through the plugs.

When we sleep trained my 5 month old, we started w/ bed time because naps were definitely harder. Maybe suggest this book: https://www.amazon.com/Healthy-Sleep-Habits-Happy-Child/dp/151136145X

It's nice because it gives a bunch of strategies for kids at different developmental stages and for parents w/ different tolerances for CIO/Ferber vs. low/no cry methods. Also, if I recall correctly, this book puts a lot of emphasis on daytime naps being crucial to your success. He might have even suggested starting w/ naps.

The author had some phrasing in there about crying that helped me stick with sleep training - basically that the kid isn't wailing because he's scared or because he feels abandoned. Instead, they're just protesting because they'd rather be playing with you. And you're not abandoning your child or being cold or cruel by letting them cry, you're providing them an opportunity to learn how to sleep, a skill that they will need for the rest of their lives.

HELLO FELLOW BOTTLE STRUGGLER

my little lady NK (5mo) has been having similar bottle struggles. It’s exhausting and stressful. MB and I did some research and ended up ordering a Doidy Cup and let me tell you... vast improvements have been made!

It’s kind of a mess, so definitely have a bib on baby and a burp cloth or 5 at the ready. Hold baby at about a 45 degree angle in the crook of your arm, and tip the cup enough that the milk reaches her lips, and let baby suck/sip the milk into her mouth. MILK WILL SPILL, be ok with that! Start with an ounce or so at a time to avoid wasting too much formula or breast milk. I suggest a bib with one of those waterproof layers to keep her clothes dry(ish).

After 2 or 3 attempts, my NK is getting at least 80% of it down the hatch with about 75% reduction in struggling and freaking out. Also I still have to hold or swaddle her free arm down because she’ll knock the cup around with it and end up slamming the edge into her face/spilling the contents because babies do dumb shit like that.

Anyway. Doidy cup. In all 10 years as a nanny I’ve never heard of or used one but in one week I’m an evangelical believer!