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I agree with other posters, he will try to make this about you, to blame you, and then he’ll walk off like there’s nothing wrong. Make sure you’re covered especially with the kids.

When he realized he’s not getting his regular supply from you he’ll move to use the kids against you. Mine did and I never thought he would, ever.

Pay attention to which of your kids is the scapegoat (that will be the one most like him) and which is the golden child. Love them
Both unconditionally and be prepared for him to attempt to alienate the golden child from you. Mine did in retaliation because he an the SG are always at each other’s throats (because I’m not there to help them communicate - which is very codependent behavior but not the point here - their relationship has significantly deteriorated).

There’s a great book called MAGIC Word: How to Get What You Want From a Narcissist and it walks you through how to figure out what narcs value. It was extremely helpful for me - my nex values being a family man and a good father, so anything I did to threaten that image caused him to freak out. Anything my kids do to threaten that image causes him to lash out as well (even when they’re acting like normal kids). I always took care of the majority of parenting and now he has to do half of it and it’s been an adjustment. He thought the 10% he did before he would extrapolate to 100% of his parenting and that’s just not how it works.

Figure out what makes your nex tick. It’s a very powerful weapon.

Most lawyers will do a free initial consult, or low-cost (I paid $100). You haven't even told us if you are the mother or the father.

I know that it can be worked out between the two of you, or in mediation, or in arbitration or in court (at least in Oklahoma). If your narcissist is like mine it will be a crazy-making process. And it's the custody that she is being craziest about. She wants full custody of kids she mostly ignored for years. And it's not outside the realm of possibility that she'll get exactly that. That's a nightmare scenario for me and my kids.

I believe you can gain a lot of advantage by carefully planning before filing anything or telling your co-parent anything. There's a book called "Splitting" (Eddy and Kreger) that covers how to divorce a narcissist. Not that you are divorcing, but it should give you some good advice.

The gist of it is that your co-parent will use your emotional vulnerabilities against you. You have to stay calm and appear to be the sane one. Thankfully that makes narcissists crazy, so there is some advantage.

First of all you need to relax a bit. You cannot control him.
Give this book a read: https://www.amazon.com/Stop-Caretaking-Borderline-Narcissist-Drama/dp/1442238321
You'll then understand the game a bit more. Then, when your kids see you calmer, it will mean a calmer home environment which your kids will appreciate. Then they may start noticing their father's incorrect behavior.

Same also with this book - I once sent it to a lawyer representing me. Of course, that's assuming they even read it or take it to heart once they do.
https://www.amazon.com/Narcissistic-Parent-Guidebook-Professionals-High-Conflict/dp/0996114548

This book is also a great way for new partners to deal with the HC narcissistic ex-wife/girlfriend.

Seconding the advice to look for a lawyer with experience in divorce cases involving narcs/high conflict people. You might be able to accomplish a lot by bringing up things that could potentially damage his reputation, or it might backfire horribly.

Someone on this sub recommended a book a few weeks ago called MAGIC Words: How To Get What You Want From a Narcissist. It’s about how to manage a narcissist when you absolutely have to deal with them - for instance, in coparenting arrangements, or in court cases, like the one you’re enduring. Basically, you do some in-depth “market research” on your narc and figure out how to word your own suggestions as if it’s what they want. You already know something key: he values his “nice guy” rep and is terrified of losing it. That’s a really important thing to know!

Remember, you know your nex better than anyone. You know what might set him off, and what might settle him. Even before I realized Nex was a narc, I found myself “following my gut” and placating him by wording my requests carefully ... even though my brain said it was unnecessary. Looking back, I’m glad I followed my gut. I think it definitely kept things out of court.