(Part 2) Top products from r/NewParents

I know a lot of people love it, and I do think it has tons of useful information in it, but I was never a fan of What to Expect.... I just never liked the tone of it.

As far as development, pregnancy issues, etc., The Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy was the most useful of the pregnancy books. If the baby will be breastfeed, A Nursing Mother's Companion was pretty useful.

Websites were also useful, babycenter.com has some videos and the pregnancy tracker, as moosen25 mentioned, but unless you are big into drama, beware the forums. Some of the smaller threads, like the first timers for a particular birth month are less drama-filled, and I found it reassuring to see/share what other people who were at the same place in their pregnancy were experiencing.

I think the biggest pieces of advice I have are:

• 1. You will be overwhelmed with information. There is so much out there, just remember, books and websites have detailed information about every possible little thing that can go wrong. In reality, there is a very, very small chance that any of the horrible things you read about will happen.
     
     
• 2. Really think about the kind of birth experience that you want, and be open to the possibility that as much as you plan for what you want to have happen, you need to accept that it may not go as planned.
     
     
• 3. If you are thinking of a home birth with a midwife, read other peoples birth stories and experiences with labor, but read up on having an epidural, inductions, and C-Sections as well, because it is better to be able to prepare yourself beforehand in case any of those other scenarios become necessary. You will find from reading that one intervention usually leads to requiring more interventions and increases the probability of needing a C-Section.
     
     
• 4. Find a doctor that you feel comfortable with, but if you are having a child in a hospital, prepare yourself for the possibility that the person you have been seeing for nine months may not be the person who delivers your child. If you would like an additional advocate in the hospital and someone to help with labor look into a doula. I can't offer much advice as far as using a midwife, but I'm sure some of the other parents can help you out with ways to find a great midwife.
     
     Finally, congratulations. Take some time and let it sink in, and enjoy it.
     
     Edit: One more thing...before the pregnancy gets to far advanced take a vacation with your SO and have some special alone time before you become a trio.
     
     Being a parent is great, to me, my son is the absolute best thing in the world, but don't forget to take some alone time to be with your SO every once in awhile.

I'm not a scientist, but I'm interested in approachable scientific information about child development, and more specifically what I can do to create the best environment and family life for my child's emotional and intellectual development. Here are a few resources that have come up for me:

-Dept of Public Health: there are many resources available from our state public health department. Check if your state has one, or check out ours in WA (the "Watch Me Grow" Series offers month by month developmental information and milestone tracking, and there is information on feeding, testing, vaccines, etc as well: http://www.doh.wa.gov/Publications/PregnancyInfantsandChildren)

-Research Universities: we hooked up with a local research university for inclusion in their developmental studies through the department of learning and brain science. It has been invaluable to our understanding how parents can increase their child's exposure to language, and includes 1:1 coaching, free resources and toys/books, and group sessions with a child development expert, which they pay us to attend.

-A friend who is a speech pathologist recommended reading "Beyond Baby Talk" (https://www.amazon.com/Beyond-Baby-Talk-Development-Caregivers/dp/0307952282), for a more in depth look at what is happening with your child's expressive language development and how you can stimulate it.

-A relative that spent 30 years working with children with emotional issues recommended "Between Parent and Child" (https://www.amazon.com/Between-Parent-Child-Revolutionized-Communication/dp/0609809881#productDescription_secondary_view_div_1486152167250) for practical guidance on how you can affect your child's emotional development. It attempts to really get inside the head of a child and answer their true questions, which aren't necessarily the ones they ask.

I liked this book tho what to expect and the mayo one are also very good
http://www.amazon.com/Baby-Book-Everything-Revised-Updated/dp/0316778001/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1312012842&sr=1-1

I sometimes go to dr sears website. I am using his alternative vaccine schedule for #2. I highly recommend his vaccine book even if you plan on following the normal vaccine schedule. Its good to know the side effects & all http://www.amazon.com/Vaccine-Book-Decision-Parenting-Library/dp/0316017507/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1312012757&sr=8-1

I took a parenting class with my first for like $30 @ my hospital & was truly surprised @ what i learned from the class. I recommend taking one along with a cpr class

Also take the maternity tour @ the hospital you will be delivering at (its free).

Meet with pediatricians before baby is born. It should be free. You want to find one you like & who has similar beliefs when it comes to treating your child. I went thru several with my first before finding one i actually liked. I wish i had found one i liked beforehand instead of going from one to another after my child was born

I also agree on a doula

The classes are actually less helpful than you would think. It's more piece of mind for my wife. I put the website below for more info. You can gain most of the information from the internet.

Bradley website
http://www.bradleybirth.com/

Really good book. I have like a thousand bookmarks on various pages. It goes through what you will be going through, how your boyfriend will be able to tell what you are feeling and what he should be doing to make you more comforatble and be more supportive. I highly recommend this one.
http://www.amazon.com/Natural-Childbirth-Bradley-Way-Revised/dp/0452276594

Good luck and congrats!

• prep as many meals as your freezer can handle a couple weeks before bebe is due
  
  
• Your Baby and Child is the only book you need to read. And you can just read as the baby ages. Full of practical, grounded and time-tested advice. I read some of the “how to be a dad” books but honestly never learned much...it’s mostly intuitive. Split the labor if you can, be supportive if you can’t do the work (ie breastfeed)...not rocket science
  
  Congrats and good luck

You're going to be a great dad! I recommend Ina May's guide to childbirth it helped me have such a blissful birth. And the womanly art of breastfeeding seriously, buy then now, or borrow from library!!! Best of luck!

In all of your copious (looooool) amounts of free time, take a look at Born for Love. As a data input/action output kind of guy, I think you’ll find it easier to be empathetic towards your daughter if you start developing an understanding of the neuroscience behind her needs. Infant development is fucking fascinating.

I’m a pretty strong person, and I cried all the time the first month. That said, you should make yourself familiar with the signs of PPD/PPA. A NICU stay, c-section...they can increase the risks. Your wife may be crying all the time cause her body is going through a MASSIVE hormone change, and she’s exhausted, not sleeping, recovering from major surgery, and figuring out motherhood all at the same time. Or she could be dealing with PPD/PPA. Or it could be both. Regardless, tell your pediatrician what’s going on and make sure your wife goes to her 6 week follow up.

Oh, I read in one of your comments that your daughter takes a pacifier? That’s great! Pacifiers are a demonstrated risk reducer for SIDS. The whole “fuck up your teeth” thing is pretty much bullshit. Sucking is extremely soothing for a baby.

My SIL got pregnant unexpectedly at 19 and her daughter is now 3 years old. One of her biggest regrets (we were discussing this yesterday because she is newly married and trying for #2) is her lack of support group. You need women and like-minded people who will advocate for you and the birth of your child.

• Hook up with La Leche League (you can google and search for one in your area).
  
• Find meetup groups on meetup.com that focus on breastfeeding, parenting, birthing, etc.
  
• Look into your birthing options now to prepare; midwifery care, OB, etc.
  
• Talk to women. Ask them about their birthing experiences. Don't be afraid of what you'll hear; every experience is different.
  
• Watch birth videos on youtube.
  
• See if there are any local groups on facebook.
  
• Read books. One that I highly suggest is "The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth"
  
  Here are a few "mommy" groups that I really enjoy on facebook:
  
  
• Barefoot Birthing Support Group
  
• Barefoot Breastfeeding & Parenting Support
  
  Also some relevant subreddits:
  
  
• /r/BabyBumps (pregnancy)
  
• /r/beyondthebump (postpartum)
  
• /r/breastfeeding
  
• /r/FormulaFeeders (formula feeding)
  
• /r/boobsandbottles (for combination feeding)
  
• /r/postpartumdepression
  
• /r/Buyingforbaby
  
• /r/clothdiaps (if you plan to use cloth diapers)
  
• /r/SingleParents (if you will be parenting as a single mother)
  
  There are tons of other relevant subreddits. Many are listed on the right when visiting /r/beyondthebump. Don't be afraid to ask questions. :)

Personally, I love all of Beatrix Potter's books. I bought the whole collection for my LO. I also read everything I can get my hands on. Caldecott winners are some of my favorites, like [The Lion and The Mouse] (http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0316013560).

I was skeptical because it was so cheap (< $20), but this tub worked great for us: The First Years Sure Comfort Deluxe Newborn To Toddler Tub Blue https://www.amazon.com/dp/B000067EH7/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awd_9RM1wb1CYQT5D

My wife and I are still expecting (she should be going into labor any day now). We aren't planning on using one because I think they don't offer any value to us. We have no health risks in either of our families that would contribute to increase SIDs. Furthemore, SIDs has been in huge decline to where it's very rare again for one main reason. The advice to sleep babies on their backs, on firm mattresses, with no blankets/loose objects in the bassinet/crib with them. Wearable devices won't do more for you that this advice will do -- unless there is some reason to believe your baby has a defect. But if your baby is normal, healthy, not-premature these devices will probably only work to increase your anxiety constantly monitoring them and parents with increased anxiety have babies with increased anxiety.

The only time I saw these devices being life savers in the research was in cases where babies had very rare defects. I think it's important all new babies find the right balance for them but we are going with a fairly minimalist approach.

My wife and i both read The Confident Parent and found it to be very excellent and are planning on using much of the advice in this book.

My husband bought me a journal on Amazon where every day you write a small message about your life as a mom. It’s good for 5 years and I love it so far.

https://www.amazon.com/Moms-One-Line-Day-Five-Year/dp/0811874907/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?keywords=mom+s+one+line+a+day+a+five-year+memory+book&qid=1566737898&s=gateway&sprefix=mom’s+o&sr=8-1

Yes!

The New Dad's Survival Guide

The Baby Owner's Manual

Dad's Playbook

These are all a bit lighter reading, and mind you I do not regret buying them at all. Really useful information in all of them.

A massage. Or a visit to the salon. She may not understand, but she'll appreciate it in a few months.

Oprah also recommended this a few years ago. I bought it for a friend's of mine and myself.

Letters to My Baby: Write Now. Read Later. Treasure Forever. https://www.amazon.com/dp/145213295X/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_sQ9dzbTTQJKMR

I haven't written any letters yet, I figure I'll give it to my son on a milestone event.... Turning 18, marriage, or maybe his first kid. Idk.

Raising a girl is a blast. It's understandable to be a little intimidated by girls (as a man) because guys aren't terribly familiar with the experience of growing up female so we don't know what to expect of their young lives.

In reality it's no different than raising a boy though. When it's your kid, it will feel like second nature, so don't sweat it.

Also, I'd recommend this book and the others in its series. It gives great insight for what you can expect to happen.

http://www.amazon.com/The-Expectant-Father-Dads-Be/dp/0789210770

Congrats!

Two books we got

The baby manual

and What to expect when your expecting

11-12 weeks is fine.

Lots of apps out there that track pregnancy and what you need to be doing.

Both of you should check out “And Baby Makes Three by John & Julie Gottman. It’s a go-to recommendation by couples therapists for strengthening relationships following the birth of a child.

What to Expect the First Year https://www.amazon.com/dp/0761181504/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apip_h44U5QAr2fIsi