(Part 3) Top products from r/NoFap

I personally think that you should appreciate women's beauty, however I feel that catcalling would be unnecessary i didn't see any approach done "right", i actually feel that people, specially men should learn some social dynamics specially towards talking to the opposite sex, and by this i don't mean learn pick up and fuck as many girls as possible and shit like that, but because I feel that its important to be able to connect with women in a way. I feel that a lot of rapes, and sexual frustration, and probably prostitution is because men want an easy way out, and don't want to put in the work to approach women, and now you could even go online dating if you don't like it but i think that men become more aware of how to deal with this certain situation, I am working on myself to be able to approach a girl and give her a genuine compliment and to mean it because I say it and say it because I mean it, not to get attention that just because by catcalling people I 'prove im manly' they come off as needy and shit.

Although I feel that people, specially women, if you learned some pick up or rather some more sociability they see that as ungenuine and even more chumpy, but the counter argument i would say is they are not being genuine either, they use make up and they are manipulating their appearance to look more attractive and in a way is manipulating me to think better of them, I am against some of the principles of pick up but the dating science isn't wrong, but its on the right path. I personally think that, like in my case, if you know you suck with women, and you don't want to be in a path of crappiness and neediness, via using prostitution to get laid or roofing people to get laid or rather rape girls, or vast usage of porn, I would say that its good.

I personally would recommend reading Models by Mark Manson because the book is really fucking awesome and it would make you a better man, and perhaps reading the 'further reading' books from that book help you understand the mating system of humans, and to become a better man. I think the book itself is actually really good because it states more than just to get laid is to find quality women to be fullfillled and be more happier with women, and in a way is actually attacking the dating science in a way by attacking The Mystery Method which all pick up could be summed up by that single book. In a way I would recommend both and take the best from both because neither of them is 'wrong' but niether one of them is 'right'. I do agree with Manson's idea of confidence and working in yourself more than in women and being sexualy fulllfilled doesn't require large amounts of women, while I also agree with Mystery's focus on competence vs. confidence because he says that you can't quantify confidence and rather focus on number of approaches and really statistics because that shows competence and successful competence breeds confidence eventually but in a way Manson's idea is better, because he is coming from a place of abundance of women and general happiness, is like saying being 'good' with women is something you are and not do and your looks, money demographics and ect does matter in the equation, over mystery's idea which is coming from neediness, because he refers as girls having 'high value' and by that you are infering that you aren't enough for her so you have to in a way manipulate yourself into making her thinking you are 'good enough' so that it doesn't matter if you look like a fucking troll no matter what if your 'game' is 'tight' it doesn't matter what even if the girl is married or anything really, she will sleep with you and that isn't the case, because mysetery uses a lot of indirect and 'fool proof' tactics that are more convoluted than just expressing your intent and if it doesn't work out move on asap, I'd say that take the best they both are right, and both concepts are correct but im leaning more the natural no scripts type of things and just being freeforming it.
I'd recommend both people getting those two books and they will change your life or at least make you think better and be more aware of how to flirt better. And perhaps reading Double your Dating by David DeAngelo, this one focuses more on dating girls and setting up and getting exposure to women over, is focused on both competence and confidence, and in a more natural way. I'd say get them, you can torrent them if you are so cheap, but defenitely read up on them and see what comes out of it.

So defenitely get Models by mark manson and Mystery Method because you can get a really clear picture on the subject of picking up women, and Double your Dating by David D just the simple ebook don't dig too much into it.

other books, I heard of them, and read some reviews on amazon and they seem to have really good reviews but I haven't gotten them or read them but they seem legit too.

Bang by roosh V

Day bang by roosh v

The manual by W. Anton

the Natural by richard la ruina

Get inside her by Marni Kinrys

they all seem like good resources to start and move on from there... and work on specific sticking point, but i'd say don't believe everything use them as guidelines and not as rules, and take them with a pinch of salt. the reason for this was because when I read the Mystery Method, it was well argued and every contingency is planned for, that I couldn't really find fault with the method, And so I believed all the "high value" bullshit that i fucking felt that i needed to one up everybody and that isn't the case, i was able to rescue myself from that mindset by Models, and I really thought it was genuine and it doesn't rely on too much bullshit and is more natural there is no one upping bullshit. I am not preching seduction community but i feel men should know what they are doing, specially if they suck like me, and be just more aware of things.

Perhaps i'd also reccomend
Gifts of Imperfection by Breene Brown since this book really digs somewhat on the self acceptance/self worth/self esteem part and what pick up artist would call 'inner game' ...
I'd say pick whatever books you want to BUT STOP reading too much into it, i became too paranoid and wanted to read every book on pick up out there and that is not the case guys, hope i helped.

TLDR--read books, become aware, know better, don't be a creep but don't be chump either, get informed guys know your shit,

Path 1: Drop this loser. You don't deserve this shit.

Path 2: Understand it is a PSYCHOTIC pull from his addicted brain. It has taken me 4 years to get to 10 f*cking days. It's worse than heroine. Please understand that, and help him to heal. The longer he goes without his sexual objectification hyperstimulation, the more he will fill up his heart and his appreciation of the deeper, true you.
And I love Women's perspectives. Thank you for sharing.
Oh, and get this awesome book: http://www.amazon.com/Dont-Call-It-Love-Addiction/dp/0553351389/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1380920789&sr=8-1&keywords=sexual+addiction+recovery

It will really help your relationship.

Starting Strength Buy that book, read it, start the program. Its a program for gaining strength (and in your case, some lean mass) and it has helped me a lot in life. It will help you conquer the laziness.

I find that waking up really early everyday and having a set routine helps a great deal as well. I wake up at 5am everyday to make sure I get shit done. I meditate, work out, brush teeth, shower, do yoga, breathing exercises and kegels before most other people even wake up. And doing that much stuff that early in the morning not only makes me be more energetic with my time for the rest of the day, but also ensures that I go to bed pretty damn early (like at 9pm) effectively cutting out the time when I am MOST tempted to fap. It takes some motivation, yeah, but it ain't impossible mate.

But do what works best for you. I simply am doing what works for me and my life. Assemble your life in such a fashion that you simply are forced to succeed.

We're under no obligation to be the same person we were yesterday"

---

Hello, traveller!

I've read Models by Mark Manson, but haven't gotten to "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck" yet.

During my journey here, I read 2 additional books that may be good for you since they stemmed from some of those teachings


No more mr. Nice guy (Glover)

The road less traveled (Peck).


I was also having issues with an obstacle but reading your post made me realise what i have overlooked and may be beneficial in aiding me in my own journey as well.

Thank you for sharing, I appreciate it.

The Road Less Traveled gets into this quite a bit. I just started reading it, but I think a lot of what's in it could really apply to the fapstronauts around here. It really stresses discipline and independence as key elements to contentedness.

Sex is so overrated anyway, isn't it? It's just a thing that happens, you have a good time, and then it ends, then you're right where you started except maybe a little bit more attached to your partner. Then eventually you and your partner will fall out of love and there will be pain, and depending on the level of dependence you have on each other, you may actually take steps backwards in life by the time it ends. I guess it's all well and good if you're happy by yourself, but that only happens once you're able to give up on trying to find a partner.

Already on a 5-day streak and don't plan on stopping at all. Probably the next time I'll fap is maybe in 10-20 years for fun. But anyway, a little bit of myself and why I'm doing this.

A while ago I purchased a book called The Daily Stoic which gives daily quotes on how to live life in accordance to Stoicism philosophy. I've always wanted to become a Stoic and so I quickly picked up this book with almost no hesitation.

Every page begins with a quote from a Stoic philosopher e.g. Marcus Aurelius, Epictetus, Seneca, etc.

It wasn't until I came to the quote of February 13th, Pleasure Can Become Punishment, when I was really struck:

"Whenever you get an impression of some pleasure, as with any impression, guard yourself from being carried away by it, let it await your action, give yourself a pause. After that, bring to mind both times, first when you have enjoyed the pleasure and later when you will regret it and hate yourself. Then compare to those the joy and satisfaction you’d feel for abstaining altogether. However, if a seemingly appropriate time arises to act on it, don’t be overcome by its comfort, pleasantness and allure - but against all of this, how much better the consciousness of conquering it.”

~Epictetus, Enchiridion, 34

After reading this particular quote, I suddenly reflected back on the days I would jack off and realised that I was not a very energetic person. I also came to realise that I was not reaching my full potential as a student and I could not get in the university that I truly wanted. Then I suddenly thought of another thing: there's a subreddit called NoFap.

I went on my computer and read about as much as I could on NoFap. Once I began to find out about the benefits of NoFap was when I soon started to see how all of this made sense. I was drained of energy, tired all the time, had trouble getting up in the morning, had minor social awkwardness, barely studied eventhough I knew I had to, received sort of mediocre grades, among many other things that I felt was wrong with me. I decided at that point that fapping was the main culprit of most if not all of my life's problems and decided to abstain from PMO altogether.

Note that everything I've said above was during my holidays. Later towards the end of this month, I'll be joining a new college with another chance to enter the university of my choice which I previously failed to. I'm gonna have a better social life there and I'll have much more energy to study and become a better person in general.

I've relapsed twice so far and 5 days ago was the last one for as long as I live.

That's why I'm here.

Thank you for your openness. You've taken the first steps into changing your life. NoFap is an essential part of this process, but your depression should be directly addressed by additional means. I recommend reading Dr. David Burns's "Feeling Good Handbook" (http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0452281326/ref=mp_sim_p_dp_1?pi=SL500_SY125)

Best wishes.

I agree that gimmicky PUA shit isn't the way to go. I've read Mark Manson's book and it was helpful, but it's definitely helpful to get info from additional sources. These books are pretty essential IMO:

https://www.amazon.com/Mate-Become-Man-Women-Want/dp/0316375365/

https://www.amazon.com/How-Win-Friends-Influence-People/dp/0671027034/

https://www.amazon.com/What-Every-BODY-Saying-Speed-Reading/dp/0061438294

Yes , it is bad because you may become an addict too. Just google 'sexual addiction' and you will find what you may become. Instead, you need to learn how to manage your emotions in a better way. I have read the book 'breaking an addiction' that help me to understand that the only exit from all this shit is to work in yourself and stop depending on external stimulus to feel good. In fact, the author explains how easy can be to switch from one addiction to another because the addict looks constantly for relief. https://www.amazon.com/Breaking-Addiction-7-Step-Handbook-Ending/dp/0061987395

Clean: A Proven Plan for Men Committed to Sexual Integrity
Book by Douglas Weiss

Is amazing, so practical, gave me many perspective changes.

https://www.amazon.com/Clean-Proven-Committed-Sexual-Integrity/dp/1400204682

It's a book with quotes from Stoic philosophers and commentary, in the form of a daily devotional. It's excellent material for addicts.

The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living

Read "Feeling Good" and "Intimate Connections" by David D. Burns.

I studied these books, and they greatly helped me overcome my loneliness/depression. They aren't bullshit pseudoscience hippie self-help books. The advice they give is simple, and I can pretty much guarantee your life will improve if you follow them.

This is going to be a real challenge. i seriously recommend reading The Power of Habit (http://www.amazon.com/The-Power-Habit-What-Business/dp/1400069289/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1371689543&sr=8-1&keywords=habit). It's a great book and will help with both of your goals.

• Start going for long walks daily
  
• Look into hiking (perhaps getting into /r/BarefootHiking)
  
• Start working out
  
• Begin reading, either fiction that's interesting, or non fiction to learn or improve yourself. I highly recommend The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck
  
• Pick up a second part time job (or get one if you don't have.)
  
• Start working on new skills that have always been of interest you you (great to have for future jobs, and working towards becoming freelance)
  
• Meditate
  
• Serve/help others - volunteer time for causes and events (also good for connections)
  
  I can't even get to half that stuff I'm so occupied. You should not be 'bored' because if you're bored, you're doing lit wrong.

This is a book that was true eye opener for me. I never used to be able to understand why the fuck all the pricks were getting all the hot chick and I never was.

http://www.amazon.com/Mystery-Method-Beautiful-Women-Into/dp/0312360118

Yes, I know it sounds cheesy and seems too good to be true. I've been just where you are right now. Just read it and then see if it helps you with your problem. Good luck bro

With all respect, you need a hobby to help make this work. Of course these things are different for everyone, but for me, I find it very hard to be horny while lifting weights. I know you go to the gym, but I have no idea what you do there, so I recommend this book. I could never find a team sport or activity I enjoyed, but when I learned to squat and deadlift, it changed my life. I also enjoy this style of exercise because it is largely solitary--all successes and failures are yours and yours alone. Anyway, just my two cents, but find a use for all the extra time you will have.

https://www.amazon.com/What-Every-BODY-Saying-Speed-Reading/dp/0061438294

Is this the book you are referring to?

Also, what comedy shows do you recommend, for multiple reasons I've been trying to look for them for some time. :)

Oh yea, those are also great recommendations.

By the way Mark just released a new book that's pretty fucking awesome. I haven't finished it yet but so far it is basically a compilation of all of his ideas.

https://www.amazon.com/Subtle-Art-Not-Giving-Counterintuitive/dp/0062457713/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1483378133&sr=8-1&keywords=the+subtle+art+of+not+giving+a+f---+mark+manson

okay, now, it's a ton of information so you will have to make sense of it yourself :)
Youtube:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HqSoxMOrVeE&t=0s&index=232&list=PLC63830ABE800BA55
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aAVPDYhW_nw&t=0s&index=233&list=PLC63830ABE800BA55
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o0GN4urbA_c&t=0s&index=234&list=PLC63830ABE800BA55
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bFan0KqqJjs&t=402s&index=238&list=PLC63830ABE800BA55
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ls_VFIU1Dv4&t=2s&index=239&list=PLC63830ABE800BA55
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZWI4_Oe-Qbs&t=0s&index=240&list=PLC63830ABE800BA55
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Lz0VOltZKA

Some of videos have scientific articles attached to them, so if you want to analyze in detail don't forget to view them below the videos.

Books:
https://www.amazon.com/Power-Now-Guide-Spiritual-Enlightenment/dp/1577314808
https://www.amazon.com/Mans-Search-Meaning-Viktor-Frankl/dp/080701429X
http://shynesssocialanxiety.com/system/social-anxiety-1a/ - you can get his book, even though it's about shyness, and social anxiety, he talks very simply about the power of controlling your thoughts.

you might like to read this

and you might like to cross post here - https://www.reddit.com/r/SEXAA/?

You're not alone.

I found relief through working the 12 steps from my sex addiction. I pray you can find your way to peace.

For me it was surrendering to my sexuality to my Higher Power.
Ive been sober for just over eight months - I don't think that would have been possible for me without the fellowship of fellow addicts.

It took me a long time to come to terms with that label and that my behaviour was unhealthy, but I figure, just because my drug of choice is a chemical released in my brain doesn't make me less of an addict.

I carry my meth lab around in my skull.

"Only downvote things that are abusive and/or off-topic."

>This man is similar to the mold that grows on the backside of a toilet which has not been cleaned in years.

How respectful of you.

>I'm not trying to diss the fellow, that's just what he is.

So you give yourself an excuse to diss him because he is supposedly dissing himself? I swear I've heard the same argument come from homophobes.

This is why I downvoted you, and the final straw of why I'm unsubscribing from this sub.

Clearly, you are extrapolating far too much about a person from a single image, only to carry out your own narrative about masturbation being inherently bad. I'm well aware that "not judging" somebody is effectively impossible but we can at least take steps to THINK about what we say before we say it. And by submitting your comment you're continuing the culture of religious fanaticism that this subreddit has decayed into. This is not 17th century Puritan New England and doesn't have to be. Just because we find masturbation as unhealthy for our personal well-being doesn't mean the rest of the world shouldn't do it.

To continue the religion metaphor, this subreddit is a giant circle jerk over the Your Brain On Porn series like Christian Fundamentalists obsess over the Bible. /r/NoFap offers few other venues for help although there are many out there like Carnes, Collins, Keystone Center and similar in-patient programs, and simply studying human sexuality to gain a better understanding of it. A peek at what the scientific data have to say about our particular issues can tell us why we're going through what we are rather than what to do about it. I may not believe in free will, but I’m a firm believer that knowledge changes perspective, and perspective changes absolutely everything. Once you have that, you don’t need anyone else’s advice.

Meanwhile, I've seen posts and comments here hyping up ridiculous claims of pseudo-scientific "energy" that you get from not masturbating. You will not save the world or cure cancer and glorifying and idolizing each other like this is a disservice to what the actual science suggests.

I'm also sick of the "only doing it for attention" meme. Just because he has your attention doesn't mean he's after it. People labeled as attention grabbers often are simply expressing their individual differences for the sake of fun yet people like you and Flatbar hammer him down as a bent nail rebelling against conformity.

Furthermore, the rampant sexism in this sub from men thinking they deserve women after so many days without masturbating is sickening. Posts and comments in /r/nofap have simplified women into false dichotomies and ridiculed them for enticing the supposed male brain, blaming women for fapstronauts' own problems.

All this and more has continued despite being called out many times since I first subscribed a year-and-a-half ago yet the moderators have done effectively nothing to curtail it besides listing various rules on the sidebar and rarely enforcing them. This has gone so far down hill that /r/nofapcirclejerk has sprouted into existence. When a circlejerk of a sub appears you know the original sub has decayed. Not to mention citing SAA as a worthwhile alternative is just as off the line since the 12-step program has effectively a zero success rate as most people who attempt it fail to find success and it continues to discriminate against non-believers.

Goodbye, /r/NoFap

https://www.amazon.com/Awaken-Giant-Within-Immediate-Emotional/dp/0671791540

Read that book it changed my life.
Dont identify your personality with that porns,thats not you.
See it as an problem in one of your behaviors which you have to solve.
Start thinking posivitly,do things which increase your quality in life.
I believe in you and know,that you beat this SHIT!

May the streak last forever

Yea, I can't remember the name of the book. Just kidding, one google search found it..

But the example they gave was of someone biting their nails, and they gave this girl a notecard. And every time she wanted to bite her nails, she was supposed to mark the notecard. But what you said about triggers is true because I remember them trying to get her to realize what sensations, restlessness, nervous, itchy fingers, whatever it was that she felt that then led her to bite her nails. When she felt those things, she was supposed to mark the card.

The idea I guess is that habits are so ingrained in us (I think they're part of the reptilian brain, whatever that one is called, the one near the brain stem I think), that it is easier to change some part of the habit loop than try to eliminate the whole thing in one fell swoop.

> "Awakening the giant" by Tony Robertson

Awaken The Giant Within by Tony Robbins

this? http://www.amazon.com/Mans-Search-Meaning-Viktor-Frankl/dp/080701429X/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1450424216&sr=1-1&keywords=a+mans+search+for+meaning

http://www.amazon.com/Dont-Call-It-Love-Addiction/dp/0553351389/ref=sr_1_6?ie=UTF8&qid=1345857405&sr=8-6&keywords=sexual+addiction+book

http://www.amazon.com/Contrary-Love-Helping-Sexual-Addict/dp/1568380593/ref=sr_1_22?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1345857508&sr=1-22&keywords=sexual+addiction+book
http://www.amazon.com/Love-Addiction-Guide-Emotional-Independence/dp/0934986916/ref=sr_1_51?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1345857620&sr=1-51&keywords=sexual+addiction+book
http://www.amazon.com/Please-Tell-Childs-Story-Sexual/dp/0894867768/ref=sr_1_47?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1345857575&sr=1-47&keywords=sexual+addiction+book
http://www.sa.org/
http://www.amazon.com/Hope-Recovery-Healing-Compulsive-Behavior/dp/156838050X/ref=sr_1_55?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1345857620&sr=1-55&keywords=sexual+addiction+book
http://www.amazon.com/Healing-Sexual-Janet-Geringer-Woititz/dp/155874018X/ref=sr_1_68?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1345857669&sr=1-68&keywords=sexual+addiction+book
http://www.amazon.com/Secret-Sin-Addiction-Lifelines-Recovery/dp/0310549116/ref=sr_1_71?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1345857669&sr=1-71&keywords=sexual+addiction+book
http://www.amazon.com/Facing-Love-Addiction-Giving-Yourself/dp/0062506048/ref=sr_1_45?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1345857575&sr=1-45&keywords=sexual+addiction+book

http://www.amazon.com/Intimate-Connections-David-D-Burns/dp/0451148452

48 laws of power.

https://www.amazon.com/48-Laws-Power-Robert-Greene/dp/0140280197

Hey Jernest,

Whenever you get the time, you should buy this book from your local store and read it. Its a life changer.

http://www.amazon.com/The-Laws-Power-Robert-Greene/dp/0140280197

I'm humbled by the response to this post! I've gotten a lot of requests for Scriptures to stand on and books to read. I really only read one book on the topic and it was written by a friend of my pastor. Here's the link. Phenomenal book!

Clean: A Proven Plan for Men Committed to Sexual Integrity https://www.amazon.com/dp/1400204682/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_TrvDzbQBFZZW7

And here's some good scriptures! Remember, what you focus on becomes bigger in your life (churchy word is magnify). Maybe some of you shouldn't magnify quitting porn but instead, just focus on how much God loves you and all that Jesus did for you (P.S. you get so much more than just a free ticket to heaven. Go look up grace and healing for examples).

Here's some good ones to stand on:

1 Corinthians 10:13 NLT
[13] The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.

Romans 8:35-37 NLT
[35] Can anything ever separate us from Christ's love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death? [36] (As the Scriptures say, "For your sake we are killed every day; we are being slaughtered like sheep.") [37] No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us.

2 Corinthians 5:15-17 NLT
[15] He died for everyone so that those who receive his new life will no longer live for themselves. Instead, they will live for Christ, who died and was raised for them. [16] So we have stopped evaluating others from a human point of view. At one time we thought of Christ merely from a human point of view. How differently we know him now! [17] This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!

Ephesians 6:10-13 NLT
[10] A final word: Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. [11] Put on all of God's armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. [12] For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places. [13] Therefore, put on every piece of God's armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle you will still be standing firm.