(Part 2) Top products from r/Parenting

I'm not a regular contributor, but I felt like making a top-10 list of my favorite books so far. (My son will be turning 3 soon.)

The rules mention links to facebook or blogs; I'm hoping non-referral links to Amazon are okay. I'll link board books where possible, because pages get ripped and torn until at least two-and-a-half years of age.

• Little Blue Truck: Most parents probably already know this one. Great book for when children are starting to speak - you can point to each of the animals and ask what it "says."
  
• Jamberry: Beautiful illustrations, and it can be read as a song. I'm pretty sure two verses were switched - I think it should be "Three berry four berry, my berry your berry, hayberry strawberry, finger and pawberry." Bugs me a little bit.
  
• Chugga Chugga Choo Choo: Another singable book with rhymes and good illustrations, and a good means of prompting child participation - they can fill in the "whoo whooo!" part.
  
• Planting a Rainbow: Great eye-grabbing book for learning colors. Can also be read with a rhythm, though it isn't as singable as the others.
  
• Little Owl's Night: Great book for pre-empting any fears of the dark. "Owls wake up at night time, and sleep when the sun is up." Surely if this little owl is chilling at night with his fox and turtle buddies, that means nighttime is nothing to be afraid of.
  
• The Little Dump Truck: Has a good rhythm and good illustrations. Helps give your kid, who loves dump trucks but doesn't know why, an idea of what dump trucks actually do.
  
• Twenty Big Trucks in the Middle of the Street: Fantastic counting book, and has a good rhythm as well. Highly recommend for getting your kid to count past ten.
  
• Potty: A godsend for potty training. Start reading it a couple months before you introduce the potty, and read it often. We potty-trained our son at about 34 months with a combination of this book and Season 2, Episode 1 of Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood. He used a little plastic thing for about two weeks before we moved him up to the integrated seat, which is great because it can just be wiped down after use.
  
• Julia's House for Lost Creatures: Beautifully illustrated, and a great introduction to cleaning up after yourself. "What do good boys do if they make a little mess?" "Um, clean up!" The text doesn't flow well in some parts - I get the impression that this was intended for comic-book reading children - but it isn't overly wordy and has more than enough art to compensate.
  
• Why is the Grass Green? First Questions and Answers about Nature: If anyone knows about a more recent version of this, I'd be very interested. We found this one in a library's outdoor "take one, leave one" box. Some of it is still too advanced for our little one to wrap his head around, but the way this book distills concepts into concise explanations with simple wording is amazing. Highly recommended for any child that asks a lot of "why" questions.

One of my wife's friends wrote this one...not a bad book, I suppose. Lots of good information about pregnancy, things that are good to know from the dad's perspective.

The one your wife is going to read, and you should also read, is the classic What to Expect book. That's sort of the "pregnancy bible", lots of really good information in there, most women read it.

Another one that I really got a lot out of is If Your Kid Eats This Book, Everything Will Be OK. That's written by an ER doctor who talks about how to tell the normal illnesses and maladies that aren't worrisome from the ones that you actually do need to be concerned about. It's saved my wife and I from a handful of ER/Doctor's Office visits.

The final one is the one I recommend over anything else. If you buy no other books/dvds, buy this one. It might save your life, sanity, and/or marriage:

The Happiest Baby On The Block

I'd recommend both the book and the DVD, but if you only get one, get the DVD. Hell, many libraries carry it.

Any and every parent I know who has watched it basically thanks Harvey Karp for making the first 3 months entirely bearable. It teaches you how to soothe a screaming infant, quickly and calmly...it makes for a happier child, and happier parents. Buy it, or rent it, or whatever...just make damned sure you see it before d-day.

Outside of that, a quality swing that plugs in (not one that runs on batteries...you will spend the difference in cost between the two on batteries) can be great. Our little girl, along with a few of our friends kids, all loved the Ocean Wonders one by Fisher Price...although for whatever reason, it seems to be ridiculously expensive on Amazon. I believe we paid 150 or 200 for it brand new. Worth every penny...cheap swings are just that: cheap. They aren't comfortable, they aren't well made, and they don't work for particularly picky infants (e.g. my daughter). I have a few friends who had more laid-back kids who have said that the cheaper swings work, so if money is tight that's something you might wait on until you meet the child:)

For most baby stuff, you get what you pay for. The stuff that works is going to be expensive because it works. I tell most of my friends that my experience is that you buy the best rated thing you can afford (just because it's expensive doesn't necessarily mean it's good, always find product reviews!).

Anyhow, through the pregnancy, the best thing you can do is just be interested and involved. Try to remember that your wife/partner might seem to lose her mind a few times, and it's mostly hormones...so let the crazy slide a little bit more than usual.

Other than that, just square yourself with the idea that your old life is done, and you now have a new one. Everything changes with kids, and the more OK you are with that, the better you will be as a dad. It's the best change you could ask for, and most dads will say that they wouldn't go back to the life of video games and nightly partying for anything in the world now that they are dads. It's worth giving all of that up a million times over. But don't fight it. Don't tell your wife that she can handle being home with her one-month old alone because you're stressed and need some time with your boys. Don't say that you can't get up in the middle of the night because you have an early tee time. Don't tell her that you shouldn't have to help clean up the kitchen because you worked all day.

That kind of stuff comes naturally to most guys, and I certainly hope it does for you. You find that when you just let the change envelop you, instead of trying to shoehorn your old lifestyle into your new life, things are easier and much more fun. The change is good, and it is inevitable. Fighting it just makes you, your wife, and your child miserable.

I wanted to do mostly wooden and open ended toys, but my son adores the plastic ones. We buy things he likes. One favorite was this musical walker my parents got him for Christmas. https://www.amazon.com/VTech-Stand-Learning-Frustration-Packaging/dp/B0053X62GK

It was the only thing that made our last 20 our road trip bearable as the activity center detaches and can be played with in the car. 3 or 4 hours of different melodies as my kid experimented between stops for food and gas.

His current favorite plastic toy is a step 2 toolbench and a plastic drill that turns when he presses a button. His favorite non plastic toy is literally any doll.

With most toys my son either wants to be doing whatever I'm doing or he wants a toy that interacts with him or resembles something he knows. He loves cats and dogs and usually has good manners with them. He isn't interested in stuffed animals. He likes using his tools to mimic me with mine. He likes to pretend to cook and help clean. He loves to drive his cozy coupe around. He likes wooden puzzles, and his wooden duck push toy, but he adores his fire truck that lights up and makes siren noises. That one came about because we met a firefighter at the fair and got to see the truck up close. The next day my son saw several pass us on the highway with sirens blaring. Since then, he's been fascinated. My husband loves to encourage curiosity, so the loud firetruck came home. It's the new favorite car toy.

Personally, the noise doesn't bother me. My son rarely makes noise for the sake of noise.l, so we let him play with whatever he seems to enjoy most. TV and tablets are largely ignored where other kids love them. I think this is one of those things that depends on your kid.

My 4 year old is also very strong willed. I remind myself daily that he is going to do wonderful things as an adult, or so everyone tells me. I constantly tell myself to breath first, think second, respond last. I do my best not to respond with anger, because IMO it only adds fuel to the fire. Redirection at this age gets more difficult, but I still practice it. I often find that sometimes taking action instead of using words is tremendously effective. IE the four year old has a strong decisive to continuously climb on the counter. I tried the, "you're going to get hurt, it's dangerous, etc." route, which did nothing. I then started removing him from the counter without words, setting him on the floor, and firmly saying, "We don't climb on counters."

I've also come to realize saying things like, "please don't climb on the counters," isn't effective. It has to be a firm set of directions (not harsh).

We've also started positive affirmations daily. And lots of appraisal for "good behavior" for positive reinforcement. Like.. "Thank you for cleaning up your toys!" With a happy dance and clap of the hands. Or when he follows a set of directions without telling him half a dozen times I be sure to tell him, "that was an excellent job listening to the directions I gave you, thank you!!"

Something my job taught me was to say a set of silly phrases before responding to a situation that makes you angry, "yellow butter, purple jelly, red jam, black bread." I say that to myself often before responding to my 4 year old. If you're interested two books that really helped me are Peaceful Parents, Happy Kids and No Bad Kids. Hope this helps!

You're an awesome employer. $400 for a baby gift (particularly one as frequently used and safety-oriented) is an amazing gift.

My wife and I bought a Britax B-Agile Travel System. Note that a travel system is a combined stroller, carrier, and carrier base for the car, which means they would be pretty much covered until their baby is big enough for a full-blown car seat, and the stroller will last longer than that. Yes, these really can last a while if they're well-designed and well-made, though as a recent first-time parent, I can't speak to how accurate "five years" is. I would reasonably expect probably about 2-4 years, depending on how you treat your stuff and how quickly your child grows. (Note that most of these are based on weight, rather than age.) The B-Agile system is good for 30 pounds, which is roughly 3-4 years, I'm told.

This system, once assembled, is incredibly easy to use, very beefy, and rather stylish. All of the wheels lock with a single foot pedal at the back, the front wheel locks against turning for mostly-straight tracks, and the wheels are all fairly large, which means it's easier to push on rough terrain or over small pebbles in parking lots. There's plenty of storage (with an optional organizer that attaches to the back), and it all clips together/comes apart/folds up very easily. It's really well-designed as a system that's easy to use and easy to move or adjust. The carrier clips into the stroller (until the little one is too large for it), and then unclips and clips into the car base. You then push a button and lift a handle, and the stroller folds literally in half for storage in your car trunk. We chose the red version because it's highly visible/recognizable at a distance.

As far as cost is concerned, Amazon has this for a little under $300, and we were able to get Babies R Us to price-match it. They had to order it though, as red wasn't in stock. I wouldn't recommend used as recalls do happen and you need to register with the company if you want to be notified about a recall. If you're looking for something else to use the remaining $300 on, you could get things like square receiving blankets that can also serve as burping cloths or swaddling blankets, a bouncer with audio and vibration, or a nice swing. I'd recommend Fisher Price "Snug" series (Snugamonkey, Snugabunny, etc.) as they're great quality, very sturdy, have great reviews, and a ton of great features. (Can rotate and reposition, has multiple sound and music options including white noise, has a rotating mobile, multiple speed settings, battery or wall plug operation, etc.) The swings will set you back about $150, the bouncers around $60, and the blankets around $10-15 for a set of 3.

If you don't want to look like an overbearing Daddy Warbucks in-law, I'd just recommend one "big" think (i.e. the travel system), and maybe a few small things like the receiving blankets, a portable bottle warmer, or a DadGear diaper bag or backpack, which takes diapering on the move to a whole new level. The bag is a little more than a casual gift, but might still fit.

If you want extra bonus points, buy them a copy of Happiest Baby on the Block which is a series of soothing techniques that stops a baby from crying in literally seconds. It sounds a cross between hokey and scammy, but it WORKS.

Preschool teacher here!

Expensive STEM stuff -- I've worked with all of them. If I had to get one, I'd probably do Osmo.

Bee bots

Dot and Dash

Cubetto

Osmo

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Other Manipulatives and Toys:

Reptangles - I found these at Savers and my students are super in to them right now.

Snap Circuits

Ikea Cars (not really stem but fun and high quality)

Mobilos -- can create cars but also so many other things

Marble runs of any style

"Pattern Play" Blocks -- We have these but I don't have the instructions, but kids still end up making fun designs out of them!

BIG Waffle Blocks

Architectural blocks sets -- for example

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I have a major soft spot for board games (and related) at this age. Here are a few I love.

Animal Upon Animal

The Little Orchard

Count Your Chickens

Snug as a Bug in a Rug

Snail's Pace Race

Rivers, Roads, and Rails

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Ultimately, though, your focus should be on having fun! Your 3 year old does not need to be reading and writing or doing basic math. He should be learning to play cooperatively, self regulate, and be independent. I would focus on language skills and his ability to communicate effectively and understand directions. I teach Pre-K (currently 5 year olds about to go into Kindergarten) and I do not care at all whether they can write their names or do simple math.

Buy this set of books. Read them yourself. Then read them with your daughter, as much as you're ready for. Leave them out where she can look through them herself.

http://www.amazon.ca/Its-Not-Stork-Families-Friends/dp/0763633313/ref=pd_bxgy_b_img_c

http://www.amazon.ca/Its-So-Amazing-Babies-Families/dp/0763613215/ref=pd_bxgy_b_img_b/177-6181848-2944312

http://www.amazon.ca/Its-Perfectly-Normal-Changing-Growing/dp/0763644846

By the way, it's not the "bad kids" at school who know about this stuff. In fact, it was very likely to be my own kids, who were as far from "bad" as you can possibly imagine. They simply had the benefit of having two parents who were involved in teaching a variety of different sex ed courses, and who were never uncomfortable discussing it with them.

I still remember my kids running into the house one summer afternoon, yelling, "Mom, mom, (our neighbours' 7 and 9 year old girls) don't know what a condom is!"

I said, "So, what did you tell them?"

Very primly, my nine year old girl said, "I told them condoms are a barrier method of contraception."

And my seven year old son jumped in and said excitedly, "And I told them condoms are like balloons, but never ever write on them with permanent markers, because they'll POP!"

It's hilarious what kids take away at different ages!

Give your daughter the gift of accurate information about her body, about sex, and about relationships. Not only will you be doing her a favour by empowering her with facts, but you'll also be helping every other kid she might choose share this information with.

My daughter's now in Grade 11 and has had to correct more than one of her friends on some basic facts. Yes, you CAN get pregnant if you do it standing up. The first time is not a "freebie". The Pill won't protect you from STIs. Using a tampon doesn't mean you're not a virgin any more, and no, it won't migrate into your uterus and get lost up there. Always go out with friends, stick with them, and never leave a drink unattended. Exposing yourself on chat roulette is a Very Bad Idea.

As for what other kids (who are also not "bad kids") might tell your daughter... I once had a very entertaining afternoon listening through my window to one 9 year old boy who was very seriously explaining to another 9 year old boy that all babies are the same when they start growing in their mummy's bellies, but then boys get "outies" and girls get "innies" and that's why boys and girls fit together when they have sex. There's always some interesting stories going around the school yards! Better to give your kids the real story, yourself.

This is going to get lost in all these comments, but if you want to get a better perspective on this, Alfie Khon has a very interesting book, Unconditional Parenting, that describes this way of thinking in a bit more detail.

The short of it is that the act of rewarding for one's actions can be as detrimental as being punished for your actions. He backs this up by sourced research in his book, as well as some interesting examples. His point in all of this is to get a parent or loved one to get past a cause-effect relationship and to gear themselves up for a dialogue with their child as to why something deserved praise or criticism without the trap of fearing a future punishment or needing a reward in order to receive the love of a parent.

The book isn't a "how-to" but more of a way of thinking. Surprisingly, I use some of his ideas with the "grown-ups" in my family with pretty good results.

You might find the book "The Explosive Child" helpful in understanding your child's behavior. My son sounds very similar to your daughter (and honestly, much, much less of an explosive child than what the book is truly intended for). However, the premise of the book is that kids who explode like this are lacking in the skills of flexibility and adaptability and that helping them learn these skills is far preferable to punishing bad behavior that stems from a lacking skill.

My pediatrician also recommended the book, "The Whole-Brain Child", which helps explain some of the way children's brains functions. This book is especially useful because it explains why, during huge meltdowns, your child is really incapable of rational thought. You have to wait until the child is calm again before trying to address any of the challenges you're facing.

With that being said, I have noticed in particular that my son has a lot more frequent meltdowns when he is 1) tired or 2) hungry. Asking "are you hungry?" and offering him a snack sometimes snaps him right out of it.

Interacting with him/discussing his feelings/giving hugs during the meltdown seem to make it worse (contrary to my initial impulse which is to walk him through his feelings). This is really only possible AFTER the storm has been weathered. Isolating him, which is pretty much my least natural response, is what seems to work for him the best. We simply tell him he needs to stay in his room until he is calm and ready to talk about what's going on. He calms down MUCH faster by himself and half the time, he ends up falling asleep (and wakes up in a perfectly happy mood).

I read "Oh Crap! Potty Training". The author's recommendation is to not start until they are at least 20months and can sing their ABCs. My kid was speech delayed at that age and definitely couldn't sing her ABCs (and still can't, at 2.5yrs), but we dove in right at 20m and she trained super easily compared to most of my friends' kids, even training for naps and nights. It took us like 2w to get to where I felt like I could leave the house without accidents. And she learned to say "pee pee" when she had to use the bathroom, so that was a plus.

My second born will be 20m in 1 week and I can't decide if I want to dive in and go through 2 weeks of potty training accidents to get the sweetness of never needing diapers again. It's a tough call to make!

Anyways, we used the little separate training potty at first, so that she could put herself on her potty and go pee, and then eventually moved up to setting her on the toilet with an insert which was necessary for using the restroom during outings. By the time I potty trained her, she was also sleeping in a big kid bed already which was super helpful.. I would sit her little potty on a waterproof mat on her floor and if she woke up from her nap, she could quickly sit herself on her potty before I could even get in there. She rarely had accidents in bed.

We read a lot of books about toilets... "Everybody Poops", "Potty Time", and "Once Upon a Potty". Some other books I liked were "Diapers are Not Forever", "Potty", and "Let's Go Potty, Elmo!".

I think one thing that no one seems to be addressing is that your wife just had a c-section 5 days ago! Major abdominal surgery! Every day will get better and better because she is recovering more and more each day. She is probably still on the prescription painkillers and will be switching to ibuprofen in the next day or so. The transition is hard to go from the prescription to OTC. But then once you do it, it'll be better because it won't make her sleepy.

I highly suggest a co-sleeper (like an arm's reach co-sleeper). I know you said that you do not want to co-sleep. We did just for the first 2 months. It was SO MUCH EASIER to nurse during the night when the baby is next to you. It is totally safe and it is easy to transition to the nursery. You'll both get more sleep by not having to get up and go into another room. And the night feedings will slow down with each month that passes. I found that the 6 week point was a real turning point for me. Both with my c-section recovery. And with our daughter getting to an easier point. And breast feeding becoming much easier.

There is a great resource for help here on reddit: /r/breastfeeding
The book that saved me was Breastfeeding Made Simple

And the thing that helped my husband the most was the DVD, Happiest Baby on the Block. Also available for instant download on Amazon.

Hang in there!

Another vote for 9 as definitely being old enough to go to the playground alone. I also grew up with lots of autonomy as a kid and plan on giving my kids the same freedoms. I walked to kindergarten alone and I just can't imagine my kids being any less capable than I was. Kids need to get outside and play without their parents there.

How was your wife's childhood? Was she given freedom and autonomy? I have a few older friends with teenagers who were never allowed out of their parent's sight. The kids are now lovely teens, nice, friendly, happy and fun to talk to, but totally unable to do anything for themselves, from make a sandwich to take the bus. I recommend the book Protecting the Gift. Great advice about how to teach your kids to be safe.

Step one I think is to stop nursing to sleep, followed by night weaning :)

For the first part, what I did (and I was in a similar situation, nursed to sleep, then from 12-15 months kiddo started waking 5-6 times a night, it was extremely exhausting), was sit down in the rocking chair as normal, and nurse as normal, but just when he was about to fall asleep, I'd delatch. He'd fuss and I'd rock and croon and talk and sing, if he didn't calm down I'd relatch him, but then delatch again just as he was falling asleep and try to calm him by other means. Rinse and repeat, the first three days it was a long bedtime routine and I questioned what I was doing. But it really only took about a week to get him falling asleep without nursing.

The next step was to maneuver to falling asleep in his own space instead of my lap. Again I did it gradually, by the same method - just when he was looking sleepy I'd move him to his bed. If he cried, I'd shush and rub his back and talk and sing for a few minutes to calm him. If it didn't work, I'd pick him up and get him relaxed, and just when he was looking sleepy I'd quietly put him down again. Again, it was hard at first but after about a week he caught on and it became much easier.

Once he was going to sleep in bed and not nursing to sleep, the 5-6 wakeups a night were reduced to one waking, then getting up really early. Eventually I DID do some "cry it out" but since I'd already gotten him most of the way there it was very brief and not stressful.

The trick here is to get them going to sleep in the same conditions under which they will wake in the night. If they can go to sleep on their own, when they wake up on their own, they're much more likely to just relax and go back to sleep. If something changes (like you're nursing them to sleep, then they wake up and you're gone) it's very jarring, like if you fell asleep in your bed then woke up on the front lawn.

If that sounds good to you, I can tell you I read Dr Gordon's night weaning article, The No Cry Sleep Solution, and the Troublesome Tots website (I guess now it's called "precious little sleep"). I kind of put together things from those three sources and it made a huge improvement. It didn't 100% fix things and we still have some sleep issues but it was a HUGE improvement.

I read mine Human Body Theater (Amazon link). It goes over the functions of all the organs in the body. In my experience, knowing that all the organs do something different and unique made it really easy to explain what the uterus, vagina, penis, testicles all do without any issue. It's for older kids, but my kid got basic info out of it at 3 years old, and found it entertaining.

I also got her the book How You Were Born (Amazon link) which has photos of a baby in utero, and shows the various stages of gestation. It glosses over how the baby got in there, but it's a good start.

Lastly, this book The Amazing You! Getting Smart About Your Private Parts (Amazon Link) has diagrams and goes over all the functions of what each set of genitalia does. It's great for your preschool age kids.

Sounds like she needs it to be her idea. Tell her it's ok if she doesn't want panties. Give her diapers, take the potty away an stuff it in the basement somewhere. Don't mention the potty again for 3 months.
After 3 months try again.
Get a book about going on the potty. I recommend http://www.amazon.com/Potty-Leslie-Patricelli-board-books/dp/0763644765. It's simple and funny and you can easily modify the words to suit your family.
The other thing that will be helpful is identifying her currency. If she goes bananas for stickers, than reward potty success with stickers. For my dd it was candy.
The method is the tricky part. You know your kid best. We put out kid on the potty every hour or so until she got the control down. Now we ask periodically if she needs to go, but generally she tells us. Forget pull-ups, they're just diapers. Go panties in the house, clean up lots of messes, it doesn't take long. Try not to shame her for having accidents, but don't tell her it's ok. Remind her that big girls go on the potty, clean up and carry on.
Good luck

“Consequences” don’t really work for toddlers. The best kind of consequences they can experience are natural ones. Meaning if they spill water on the ground, they have to help clean it up. Have you read this book: No Bad Kids by Janet Lansbury ? I know everybody recommends it for like every post about discipline, but it is a really good book!

The best way to handle behavior at this age is to guid them into appropriate behavior. If they are doing something inappropriate, guide their behavior into something better. Encourage them to behave well more than you discourage bad behavior. Toddlers are much more receptive to positive than to negatives.

I think only you know grandma well enough to answer that. If you think she'd be receptive then I would, but if you don't think she'd be receptive then I think you need to be monitoring what goes on at grandma's house too. I would try not to be obvious about it-- at 12 your daughter won't want people checking up on her, and that will just make her want to break free and rebel.

I don't think I would ever put an ultimatum or anything on my daughter not seeing her brother, I would just spend the time working really hard with her on things like-- "trust your gut," "what are situations that are red flags?" "how do you know when you're in over your head?" "how to ask for help and not be embarrassed..." etc... so that it's not specifically about anyone in particular, but they are good life lessons. Always keeping that communication open.

I would also check out "The gift of Fear" (which I recommend to patients all the time). I haven't read the one aimed at kids, but I hear it's good too -- http://www.amazon.com/Protecting-Gift-Keeping-Children-Teenagers/dp/0440509009

1. mindset adjustment: if this is a one-time thing, everyone will feel overwhelmed. Set up to have approximately two thousand chats over the next few decades. Each one, low stakes. Don't enter into it feeling like you must transmit all the facts. The most important pay of it is creating a dynamic where he feels ok asking you things in future. Keep it free flowing, follow his lead. Kids often don't get as deep or weird as we think, or may go completely sideways. Go with him.
   .2) I love the entire series by Robie Harris. They have age appropriate book for late toddlers, gradeschoolers, adolescent kids. Each one goes over normal biology, "safe touch", and what's happening in a developing body at that point. I bought them, I read through them with my kids, I leave them out so they can check back. It's So Amazing!: A Book about Eggs, Sperm, Birth, Babies, and Families (The Family Library) https://www.amazon.com/dp/0763613215/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_17GFAbZ64JX5S
   .3) explicitly let your kids know that, while you always hope they can speak to you about stuff, is also normal for people to feel sometimes oddly shy about certain topics, and here's a list of other safe adults to talk to.

"Welcome to our learning farm!"

My daughter (10 months) loves this thing: https://www.amazon.com/VTech-Stand-Learning-Frustration-Packaging/dp/B0053X62GK

... and I love that she loves it. But my heavens, is it annoying. If I hear the cow moo in the barn once more I may lose it. As called out elsewhere here, it lacks a dedicated volume control. It has a little switch that toggles between loud and STFU.

It also has a little slide-whistle sound effect that goes off N times depending on what you hit. Press "3" and it happily screams, "THREE! Whoop ... whoop ... whoop." That sounds seems pitched perfectly to slice through any other audio coming from elsewhere in the house.

I have a 7 yr old girl (and 5 yr old boy) both of whom love science & any type of hands-on activity. I emphasize hands-on because I would suggest not getting a DVD set or book set.... kids are more apt to get excited about actually DOING science (oh, and I'm a former science teacher too). My daughter also enjoys reading science books & I just let her go wild at the library & she always finds something that surprises me.

We got my daughter "Snap Circuits" last xmas and BOTH kids love it. It's a little hard for them to do alone & MANY (most?) of the circuits/projects are over their heads conceptually. Regardless - this is a set that they can both use for years (in the reviews, there are many teens and pre-teens who enjoy experimenting), and it DOES help to show the basic concept of what a simple circuit is/does and what components may be present. They have come to understand that a circuit includes a closed loop, power source, etc... Looks like their smallest model is less than $30.

http://www.amazon.com/Elenco-SC-100-Snap-Circuits-Jr/dp/B00008BFZH/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1376360010&sr=8-1&keywords=snap+circuits

Another thing that both kids have loved is just a basic "science experiment" kit that my bro-in-law gave her for her 6th b-day. I was opposed to ever buying one of these sets b/c so many of the ingredients are just simple household items - I thought I'd much rather have them experience the "magic" of science via materials in the kitchen cupboards. But - the kits are really great & provide a lot of instruction & explanation & include things that you wouldn't necessarily have on hand. I think they're actually well worth getting (and contain lots of fun pipettes & test tubes/etc). I can't find a link for the one she got, but search Amazon & you'll see lots of selection for $20 or less.

Admittedly I’m not where you are yet, but I have recently read this toddler discipline book for help with my 11 month old. She’s been pulling the cats’ tails and petting them roughly and I felt I wasn’t getting through to her. The book is Janet Lansbury’s No Bad Kids. I’m following her sample script of “I won’t let you touch the tail,” and removing my kid from the situation. She goes into wayyyy more detail and I really like her approach. I read the ebook pretty quickly.

Edit: I know 11 months is pretty young but I’m proud to say she is petting the cats much more gently now! We have success at least half the time after only a week. Admittedly she was never being rough with them out of anger, but it’s still a learning curve for her. She looks over at me while doing it to gauge my reaction.

I think the above poster has a great idea for how to start the conversation with her, but I would suggest against getting her one of her own simply because of how young she is.

For one since she is so young she runs the risk of becoming desensitized and when she does finally have sex it could be more difficult for her to come without it. Another reason is the issue of opening herself up to problems if her daughter ever tells someone about it or shows it to a friend or heaven forbid lets a friend use it. I can see how someone could misinterpret it and before you know it you have CPS at your door and you are being investigated for child abuse.

My best friend is a sex educator and she suggest that you talk with her about masturbation and encourage her to explore herself but that toys at this age is just too young. She suggested I get this book for my daughter and it helped a LOT. It's Perfectly Normal

Are you swaddling? One of my kids loved it - we used the Miracle Blanket to make it foolproof. The second didn't care and just wanted to be held so we co-slept. Third was the magical unicorn baby that slept for hours at a time right off the bat without special devices.

Also, is your wife nursing/has her milk come in? If baby's only getting colostrum, he may constantly want to nurse to try and get the milk to come in, he may not have enough for a full belly to knock him out.

My husband picked up a few good techniques from The Happiest Baby on the Block. I highly recommend.

My Fiance, my 3 year old (possibly ADHD) daughter, and I went on a 13 hour road trip to see family just a few weeks ago.

It went incredibly well, seriously.

My Plan:
Bring lots of dry snacks and things she normally has, and some things that are limited treats. We brought Lemon Zest Luna bars, lots of NutriGrain bars, fruit cups, pudding cups, single serving snacking crackers. We also brought a cooler for her to have her lactose-free milk and propel waters chilled.

I bought a few look and find books for her (Jake and the Neverland Pirates, Sofia the First, and Bubble Guppies), loaded her ipad with episodes of Wally Kazaam, Little Einsteins, and a couple of movies she hasn't seen in a long time (Finding Nemo and Monster's Inc). I also bought some Crayola Color Wonder coloring books and markers.

We started off the trip without any entertainment, no music/movies/books, just conversation. After about 3 hours, she fell asleep (it was around her usual nap time). After she woke up from her nap she was a little irritated that we were still on the road, so I broke out the ipad and snacks.

After she would settle down, we'd take a break from entertainment and just talk. We rationed entertainment for when she was getting uncomfortable.

Even though she's been potty trained for over a year, I dressed her in a Pull-Up in case we couldn't get to a bathroom in time, or if she had an accident while asleep (something that does happen at home).

For sleeping, we brought her own sheets, pillowcase, and mattress cover, oh and her special blanket. We brought along her white noise machine as well. This is her Dohm and it seriously saves my life on a regular basis. We did semi-normal bedtime routines in both hotels and my in-laws.

I was incredibly stressed out before the trip, just try to write a real plan down that fits with your kids. You know them best! I tried to research things to do on road-trips, but my daughter could really care less about license plates haha.

Good luck!

Congrats on your daughter! I have a little guy myself and went through something similar. If she sleeps well through the night in the bed with you, I'd just keep her with you. As long as you are bedsharing safely, it will really facilitate breastfeeding and make both of you get better sleep. I would periodically try to put her down in a crib (The American Academy of Pediatrics' position is that the safest way for babies to sleep is room-sharing without bed-sharing until at least 6 months, so the crib should be in the room with you anyway), and if she's not going down easily, then she's not ready for it. I loved Elizabeth Pantley's the no-cry sleep solution

. I had to transition my son out of bed because I was the all-night snack bar; he was sleeping through feeds but I wasn't, and I had to drive an hour to work at 7am. He was ready to sleep in a crib by himself at around 11.5 months. I began putting him down to sleep in the crib next to our bed 8ish, and then he'd wake up around 11pm. For the first week I'd just take him into bed with us, then I started laying him down every time he stood up to be picked up. It never got to him crying, he was more sleepily confused. It took another week for him to sleep through the night, then we moved him into his own room, and he's been sleeping through the night since then. I tried something similar at 4, 8, and 10 months and he just wasn't ready. There are a lot of cry-it-out folks out there. It works, but at what cost? Stick to your guns-you will find something that works for you. BTW I had some issues and wrote to the email provided at Elizabeth Pantley's webpage, and she wrote back to me personally within the week with sympathetic and detailed suggestions which really helped. Good luck!

Some kids don't respond to the carrot and stick approach. Some, like my younger son, are equally pissed off by carrots and sticks.

Two books changed the way I parented both of my children. The first one I think is the better of the two but the second is much more geared toward parenting.
Punished by Rewards: The Trouble with Gold Stars, Incentive Plans, A's, Praise, and Other Bribes
http://www.amazon.com/Punished-Rewards-Trouble-Incentive-Praise/dp/0618001816/ref=pd_sim_b_5
Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason
http://www.amazon.com/Unconditional-Parenting-Moving-Rewards-Punishments/dp/0743487486

Sounds good. FYI, I highly recommend "The Happiest Toddler on the Block"http://www.amazon.com/The-Happiest-Toddler-Block-Four-Year-Old/dp/0553384422/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1343327766&sr=8-1&keywords=happiest+toddler+on+the+block

I does a great job of explaining to talk "toddlerese". There is also a DVD they made if you want to watch examples.

These for slightly older kids (not babies) but the three of them work great together and are amazing IMO:

How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk, Playful Parenting, and Unconditional Parenting. That last one isn't necessarily for everyone but I find it very insightful and citing a lot of research (if you're gonna read it, read it first). It's not full of a lot of practical advice, but that's what the other two are for :).

I know a lot of people seem to like Love and Logic but TBH it's the only parenting book I've ever put down without finishing. Many parts of it were actually quite decent, but... The constant unnecessary appeals to the Bible (we should give kids choices because God gave Adam and Eve choices?) were grating. Worse yet, when I got to the part where they said (paraphrased) "We used to [1990's editions] suggest spanking but recently [2006 edition] realized that's a bad idea..." I had to put it down. It was clear that not only were they not basing any of their methods on solid research, they were happy to ignore the research when it contradicted their philosophy.

Read this book: http://www.amazon.com/Siblings-Without-Rivalry-Children-Together/dp/0393342212/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1451064311&sr=8-1&keywords=siblings+without+rivalry

Everything you describe is normal for a pre-school aged kid grappling with sibling rivalry. Think of it this way: your husband brings home a new wife who is younger and prettier than you are. You have no say in the choice, and are expected to share all the attention, all of your physical belongings, all the love. You still might be a "baby" in some ways (your son was when your daughter was born) but are told that you can no longer get your emotional needs met because you're a grown-up now and just need to deal.

Who cares if he baby talks on occasion or sometimes signs? Lots of kids want to "play" baby when there's a baby around. Let him climb into your lap, say, "Oh, I love my big baby," and give him a snuggle. I get that you're torn in two directions with one preschooler and one toddler but nothing you describe about his behavior is worth yelling at him for.

The first weeks SUCK. I remember asking my father-in-law (a father of four) how in the world people ever managed to have a second kid.

He said then, "Oh, y'know, you just get through it."

It didn't seem helpful at the time, but it is totally true. You DO get through it. It DOES end. Eventually, you'll be so far past these days, they seem like a dim memory. :)

For tricks that worked for us, check out The Happiest Baby on the Block DVD. There's a book, too, but I sure as heck didn't have the brainspace to read it when we were at 2wks PP. The DVD was a life-saver, though!

There are a ton of them on Amazon, the most popular of which is the "OK to Wake!". It's $29, but for $10 more you can get an upgraded clock by the same company, the Teach Me Time which does all the stuff the OK to Wake! does but also has a real clock on it and will help your kid learn to read the time.

That said, I'm with /u/hadesarrow, a simple timer on a light or even one of those sunlight simulator alarm clocks would be a better investment. After all the cutesy kid alarm clock will be too babyish for them soon, but a real alarm clock with a sunrise simulator light (or plug for a lamp) will be useful forever.

It depends on the 8 year old. I wouldn't say specifics of intercourse are inappropriate because it's basic biology. It's science! This book may help you out as well as this one. They offer very frank, honest, and educational information and it also gives your 8 year old something to look through on his own as well as alongside you. They're great teaching tools.

it's great that you have such a relationship, so he feels free to bring topics he must know are somewhat delicate. i'd recommend getting him http://www.amazon.com/Its-So-Amazing-Families-Library/dp/0763613215, maybe reading it together, or just offering to answer any question he might have after he reads it by himself.

we got it for our daughter when she was about that age, and she loved it and kept rereading it.

Don't get discouraged if it doesn't happen right away. Kids train at their own pace. At first we went all out for three or four weeks and got nowhere, he wouldn't stay on the potty, he couldn't wait, he would get up and pee on the floor, etc. So eventually we called it quits.

Then we pulled the potty out again three or four months later and it was almost instant. Within two weeks he was fully trained, just wearing pull-ups at night. Then two weeks after that he was night trained, too, and using the toilet.

It's all about when they're ready.

But I will tell you that in my experience pull-ups were only really useful for night training. In the day he treated it like a diaper, wouldn't use the potty if he was wearing them. So we went with underwear pretty quickly, and that helped move things along.

Also this book which is aimed at toddlers. He's always been big on books, and he'd sit on the potty reading that book until he went. He loved it. Give them something to focus on while they're sitting.

Don't get any potty training routine books for adults. Every kid is very different, and it's all about figuring out what works for them. Eventually it'll click.

It will be messy, though, so be prepared for that.

Therapy is an excellent idea. The fact that he's unwilling to talk about his bio father is reason enough. If you suspect abuse then definitely get him some professional support.

I know his response seems too big for the problem but if you look at it from his perspective he just got "caught" doing something he might not fully understand or have embarrassed or shameful feelings about; maybe even some worry about getting into trouble. (Not that you did anything to suggest it was wrong or bad, but kids just get sucked into those tracks of thinking). And then to have to have a talk about it...that night...gah! His preteen head just couldn't handle it. I'm not saying your concern about his response isn't valid; however had the discussion happened the next day or evening he might have been more able to manage his emotions and been more receptive. With my own kiddo often little time and space from a difficult situation helps defuse the emotion and makes him more willing to have a conversation.

Going forward - get a couple of books:
It's Perfectly Normal
Boy's Guide to Becoming a Teen

Then open up the conversation again, "the other night when we talked you got pretty upset and that's ok, I understand. I got you a couple of books and marked a few pages that you might want to read. You know I love you and I know these conversations might be uncomfortable for you, but I'm always here to answer questions or give advice. You don't need to feel embarrassed" Leave him the with books, let him know you'll check in with him later in the week to see if he has any questions; make a point to keep it causal.

Later in the week check-in. "Did you have a chance to read any of those books?" Got any questions?"
Then be sure to check in every few weeks. Doesn't need to be naggy; he just needs to know you're there and willing to answer his questions honestly.

Also, be sure read the books before you give them to him. They use a lot of simple language to explain complex topics which is super helpful for all.

BTW: your kiddo is pretty lucky to have you in his life. My personal situation is a bit similar and I will be forever grateful to my Dad for adopting me and raising me as his own. There's nothing better than knowing you have someone in your life that doesn't have to be there, but chose to be.

Marpac DOHM white noise machine

Red Gummy Bear Nighlight

• Use a real white noise machine. We used a battery operated one in a stuffed animal. Yeah, sure it's cute, but it didn't do crap. The Marpac got our daughter sleeping through the night.
  
  
• Use a red light when tending to your child in the night. It doesn't disturb their sleep cycle. We were using a dimmed lamp, but our daughter would wake and stay awake and want to play. We started using this, and she would go back down A LOT easier.

Don’t beat yourself up. The fact that you are trying to do things differently and are being reflective is important. Don’t sell yourself short. Parenting classes and finding good books are a great place to start.

One of the books that my wife and I consider foundational for our parenting (though is light in practical how-to) is Unconditional Parenting. And one of our girls’ teachers uses the Love and Logic model and it’s got a lot of great techniques.

Timeouts and discipline especially with kids so young are concepts that are misplaced. Growing up is all about learning new emotions from the happiness and sadness of a toddler to the excitement and anxiety of a teenager. Every year they age they experience more complex emotions and have to learn how to appropriately deal with them. When a child is acting out he is experiencing an emotion and not handling it appropriately.

This book is real good at showing you ways to communicate with your child. It has examples that go from a toddler all the way to when they are teenagers.

Good luck.

Edit: fixed link

Personally, for procreation we're going to go with What Makes a Baby

Sex will be discussed as a different subject. I don't view "mouth on penis" as any more or less age appropriate for a seven year old than "penis in vagina." Both are sex. Teaching one before the other is to set up one as normal/healthy/acceptable and the other as deviant/dirty/less-than, which is not true. Both penetrative and non-penetrative sex can be lovely ways to express love, intimacy and pleasure.

123 Magic has really helped my husband and I with our three-anger. Implementing the strategy was easy and has brought so much peace to our home. How to Talk So Your Kids Will Listen and Parenting with Love and Logic are the other 2 we have referenced lots of times. But if you are looking for more of a story Bringing Up Bebe was a fun read.

> She is only two years old so I don’t think she will really understand the difference between biological and the other father.

I agree, and honestly I don't think it's fair at this age to ask her to even try. It will probably freak her out to have some guy she's never met introduced as anything resembling a dad. She's at an age where a lot of kids are very, very attached to their parents, and often feel somewhat threatened by outsiders.

Not that my vote counts for anything, but if her parents are on board for it, I would vote for this:

(1) using a name that perhaps hints at a father role, so she'll eventually understand that, but doesn't mean that to her right now (for instance: maybe she calls her dad "daddy" and has never heard the word "papa"; maybe the OP here could be introduced as "Pops." If she doesn't know the word "papa," or if the OP and her parents are on board with "pops," then either of those options is true but not confusing to her now, so she can later figure it out/ask questions but also know that you guys always told the truth); and

(2) not trying to explain what their relationship is until she's older -- for instance, old enough to be interested in this book, which is probably the best book you guys or any other alternative family (donor egg/sperm, surrogacy, gay etc.) are going to find: https://smile.amazon.com/gp/product/1609804856

He didn't turn out okay. He thinks it's acceptable to hit children. That's not okay.

The global consensus is that spanking at best has neutral outcomes. That is, it's no different than not spanking. And that's the best case scenario. There are plenty of outcomes that are far far worse. So it doesn't logically make sense to spank.

At the very least, it's just creating more work. Spanking is a quick fix to an immediate problem. It doesn't address the underlying cause, so you have to keep spanking.

There's a lot of literature out there about this kind of thing. If you're interested in reading about effective parenting techniques without hitting children, two excellent resources are Janet Lansbury and How To Talk So Kids Will Listen.

It's good you're having these discussions now. And honestly, for me, spanking is a deal-breaker. I would not have had children with someone who wanted to hit them.

When she freaks, say something like, "You are SO MAD! You wish you could have candy. The world is so not fair. Argh!" And then follow with wish fulfillment: "I wish you could eat alllllll the candy AND all the cookies in the world and you wouldn't get sick."

​

There's a really great book that gives even more stuff along these lines: https://www.amazon.com/How-Talk-Kids-Will-Listen-ebook/dp/B005GG0MXI

My wife is a first-grade teacher, and our own kids are now ages 6 & 9. We've been using 1-2-3 Magic as the basis for our discipline. There's a fair amount that you need to understand, so borrowing the book from the library or Audible would be helpful. But to break it down to you simply, it's like this:

0) Kid does is doing something unsafe/mean/rude. You tell them to stop.

1. Kid continues doing that action. You say "That's one".
   
2. Kid continues. "That's two." Hopefully by now you have the child's attention. Many times, they'll stop what they're doing and ask "wait what? why am I at two?" You can simply explain you told them to stop, and they didn't stop.
   
3. Kid continues. "That's three. Go take a timeout (and the timeout is generally proportional to their age. 2 minutes for a 2 year old, 10 minutes for a ten year old). Or, implement natural consequences. If they were being rough with an electronic device, you take away the device for a period of time.
   
   One important thing is that you don't go into long, drawn-out explanations of what they're doing wrong while they're doing the behavior. You keep it very simple. "That's one. Stop".
   
   AFTER the timeout and/or consequences are done, THEN you can try and talk with the kid once they've calmed down. Time-out doesn't begin until the tantrum is over. Edit: The "official" 1-2-3- method says don't even bother reviewing the behavior with the kid after the timeout is over. Just go back to whatever you were previously doing. If the kid really doesn't understand, I feel it's ok to talk about it. But start with the kid: "Why do you think you got this time-out?" Let them tell you.
   
   You also need to make sure both parents are on-board with this system. If one parent is saying "That's one" and the other is saying "Now now little Susie, we don't swing the belt around in the house, you could hurt someone or damage something" --- you're going to fail big-time. Is this system perfect? Not necessarily, but it works pretty good for us.
   
   Oh, and for very serious behavior like hitting or hurting, you can jump straight to "That's 3 - timeout".
   
   https://www.amazon.com/1-2-3-Magic-Effective-Discipline-Children/dp/1889140430

My 11 yo son got snap circuits a few years ago and loved them. I think they'd still be cool for your son. Snap circuits are electric parts that snap together like legos and you can make projects such as a light that flashes or a siren. It teaches them about electricity and it's my favorite educational purchase ever. It's $20 for a basic kit that does about 80 different projects in increasing difficulty. They are rated #1 in science education on amazon. They come with everything.
http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B00008BFZH/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?qid=1426979922&sr=8-1&keywords=snap+circuits&dpPl=1&dpID=51J81R-V0TL&ref=plSrch&pi=AC_SX200_QL40

Me and my wife are using this book to transition our co-sleeper to his crib:

No Cry Sleep Solution

This method is much nicer to your child. It's all about setting expectations by giving them positive sleep associations and forming a solid routine. The book has some specific tips for parents of twins also. I'm a big fan of attachment parenting and this books goes along very well with my philosophy of parenting. It gives lots of good actionable advice for lots of circumstances and attitudes.

I would highly recommend you try this before trying CIO. I see some people here saying that the CIO method worked after 2 days for them, that's great but isn't how it always works. Some children take a lot longer than that on CIO, and if you have twins I'm sure your problems and time till sanity is double.

A great "birds and bees" book for this age is It's Not the Stork. You might also consider a book that focuses even more specifically on the sperm/egg story, like What Makes a Baby?.

edited to add: There's also The Baby Tree, which might be a bit young for him but it's more of a fun, silly way to introduce the topic (while still in the end factually explaining how a baby is made, "an egg from the mother and a seed from the father"). You could add that the "seed" can come from any man, not just the person you know as Dad.

This book worked wonders for our son. He loves using the potty and has moved up the regular toilet. We started training in February and he would go pee but was afraid of pooping. We kept at it and after we kept reading this book to him he now loves going on the potty and will go in public restrooms too. Worth a try.

No, your plan is great! Here's a trusty book for honest and age-appropriate conversations about sex and reproduction with that age: https://www.amazon.com/Its-So-Amazing-Families-Library/dp/0763613215

It's Perfectly Normal

One of the best ones I've found.

How to Talk so Kids Will Listen...And Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber

Infants through Teenagers

Strategies for communicating with your kids for guidance, encouragement, and discipline. I particularly liked all the concrete examples and practical recommendations. The communication skills are useful for any relationship, not just parenting.

We gave my son one when he was about 2.5 years old. We used this one, and it worked very well for him. If we heard him get out of bed early in the morning, we could just yell (from our bed) "Is it green time?" and he would jump back in the bed. He also enjoyed the night light and silly-face features. Around 4 years old we introduced the wake-up alarm as part of teaching him to get himself ready. He figured out the snooze button all by himself. :)

He's 5.5 now, and we recently switched him to this wake-up clock that shows the digital time and an analog clock face together to help him learn to tell time.

Neither are cheap, but they work well and will last a long time. We passed the first one along to a nephew and expect it will be passed around to a few more kids before it's done.

we just got this one for our 6 mo. old (https://www.amazon.com/VTech-Stand-Learning-Frustration-Packaging/dp/B0053X62GK/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&qid=1510862595&sr=8-5&keywords=vtech+toys) - once he can fully sit unassisted i think it will be better, but it lasts into toddler years and so far he loves hitting the removable part with buttons!

I recommend the book Siblings without Rivalry: How to Help Your Children Live Together So You Can Live too. It's an easy read.

http://www.amazon.com/Siblings-Without-Rivalry-Children-Together/dp/0393342212/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1414118779&sr=1-1&keywords=siblings+without+rivalry

http://www.amazon.com/Happiest-Baby-Block-Crying-Longer/dp/B0006J021C

A very effective system for keeping your baby calm. Made a huge difference for us.

Seems like this one has great reviews http://www.amazon.com/Amazing-You-Getting-Smart-Private/product-reviews/0142410586/ref=dp_top_cm_cr_acr_txt?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=1

I suggest the book Amazing You! I don't know how to link all pretty like but here is the amazon page:
http://www.amazon.com/Amazing-You-Getting-Smart-Private/dp/0142410586/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1405356222&sr=8-1&keywords=amazing+you+getting+smart+about+your+private+parts

8 seems a little unnecessarily young. I waited until my kid was around 10-11 and bought this book.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0763644846/ref=oh_aui_search_detailpage?ie=UTF8&psc=1

I really recommend it. It covers a lot of stuff and is very educational.

Big Mouth is a funny show but it's not an educational tool. I mean would you recommend your kid watching American Pie to learn about sex?

Curious boys. There are some great books out there for kids his age.

I’d recommend The Whole Brain Child My SO and I reading it together during the last bottle feed and it’s pretty solid in our opinion.

Second the white noise. We got https://www.amazon.com/Marpac-Classic-White-Noise-Machine/dp/B000KUHFGM this model and it is incredible. Mechanical, super soothing, changed our kids sleeping habits almost instantly.

I know it, feeling helpless was my husband's chief frustration. We were introduced to Happiest Baby on the Block (courtesy of La Leche) and it really turned our experience around because my husband had a 'job' that he can do himself.

If you are still within the first 3 months, I HIGHLY RECOMMEND giving this DVD a look. I hate new age parenting stuff, but it WILL help with getting your baby to sleep longer and soothing them.

Try snap circuits:
http://www.amazon.ca/Elenco-Snap-Circuits-Jr-SC-100/dp/B00008BFZH/ref=sr_1_3?s=toys&ie=UTF8&qid=1417963646&sr=1-3&keywords=snap+circuits

The links for the JR. Snap Circuits which is what I used in summer camp for kids 4-12. Kids love them because they can try to make their own circuits and there's some really cool ones in the attached book. There're the really basic ones that just light a bulb but they get more and more complicated. Only warning is that it comes with a fan that can fly off and potentially cut someone, so I'd supervise him very carefully.

EDIT: The kit does say 8+ but you can use it with younger kids without too much trouble. I used to keep the batteries and just make sure it was all connected properly with the younger kids.

Just to touch on teaching your kids the proper words for body parts: this series of books was recommended to me, definitely worth checking out!
>
It's So Amazing!: A Book about Eggs, Sperm, Birth, Babies, and Families (The Family Library) by Robie H. Harris et al. http://www.amazon.com/dp/0763613215/ref=cm_sw_r_udp_awd_UM.Xtb0CEP19D

Unfortunately it's a little late for some of the S's and probably not ready to cry it out.

Might want to check this one out:
The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night https://www.amazon.com/dp/0071381392/ref=cm_sw_r_awd_B0Lavb0673REP

To answer the question you actually asked, I'd say your husband has unrealistic expectations of 2yo behavior. And of people's emotional needs more generally--if you were upset and crying, would he send you to your room alone until you stopped? At that age, kids can't control themselves, their emotions, or their behavior, so we have to help them learn how to do so: sending them off alone isn't doing that; it's showing them that having big emotions is unacceptable.

Harvey Karp's Happiest Toddler on the Block was really helpful. I didn't like the bedtime/sleep section, but the rest is great. Might be a useful read for your husband, in terms of explaining toddler psychology?

(And I agree that your son is likely overtired and perhaps hungry by the time you pick him up. My toddler had frequent (daily) tantrums as soon as I picked him up from school/sitter, until I figured out that he had low blood sugar and started bringing snacks along and loading him up in the car. That helped a lot.)

Oh yes! We still play ours all night long!

Here's a link to ours. I've never embedded a king in Reddit Mobile so I hope this works.

https://www.amazon.com/Marpac-Dohm-DS-All-Natural-White-Machine/dp/B000KUHFGM

I highly recommend 1-2-3 Magic. You have to be calm and consistent about it, but it's worked really well with our eldest daughter (now 4, started at 2.5).

http://www.amazon.com/1-2-3-Magic-Effective-Discipline-Children/dp/1889140430

"Stranger danger" is really not a good lesson to teach.

Every parent should read the book "Protecting the Gift" by Gavin deBecker: http://www.amazon.com/Protecting-Gift-Keeping-Children-Teenagers/dp/0440509009

It's worth every penny but you can probably find it free at your local library.

I'd check out The Happiest Baby on the Block then. I read it before my wife did and for a while she thought I was a wizard when it came to putting our first down to sleep. It's not like other books that suggest some new fad for parenting styles, it just has some ideas for how to comfort a baby in the first 3 months that might not have occurred to you.

http://www.amazon.com/Happiest-Baby-Block-Harvey-Karp/dp/0553381466

http://www.amazon.com/The-Happiest-Baby-Block-Crying/dp/B0006J021C/ref=pd_sim_b_1

We have two different kinds.

My son uses the Ok to Wake! clock. My daughter uses the Stoplight Sleep Enhancing Clock.

Really, they both work equally well. I slightly prefer the stoplight one because it can be plugged in - this keeps it in one spot and not roaming around the room. The Ok to Wake! clock gets dim when the batteries fade.

It's Perfectly Normal

We got our son this light when he was 3, and love it.

I read this book and I really like what it had to say. I liked how it framed developing a relationship with your child. My kids are 2 and 4 yrs old. So who knows how this stuff will end up working out. So far so good. I want a different relationship with my children than I had with my parents. So I am doing things differently, very differently. I also don't like the typical American parent, child relationship. So I looked for parenting philosophies outside of the American norm. I figure to not raise a typical American kid, teenager, and adult I would use different parenting methods.

Read Siblings without Rivalry. Seriously.. This book is great.

We liked The Happiest Toddler on the Block series.

https://www.amazon.com/Happiest-Toddler-Block-Cooperative-Four-Year-Old/dp/0553384422

Check out 1-2-3 Magic it helped with our 2 oldest when they were in the 2-4 range.

Hang in there I know it can be rough at times and me and my wife are constantly having to pick each other(and ourselves) out of what feels like our own personal mental hospital(when the walls are smeared with feces it really helps complete that image).

Sanity is not easy to come by with little ones in the house. Hang in there though and you will make it through!

Someone else here recommended amazing you - getting smart about your private parts to me and my 4 year old liked it.

It gets into basic sex ed for preschoolers which may help explain why they are private. Anatomically correct names, sperm and eggs = baby, but not any actual "sex" part of the sex ed. But it explains the private part functions and how they will change as kids grow, etc... its written with 3 - 5 year old kids in mind.

I've recommended it before, but I like What Makes a Baby? for these types of conversations. It gives you a framework for talking about nuts and bolts as well as the social aspects. It's very adaptable for just about any family configuration or way of coming into being (though I think there are better books out there for children adopted after infancy).

Agreed with the others who say it's better to talk about this from an early age so as to not give it undue weight. Things you don't talk about have a tendency to be seen by children as wrong or bad, when this situation really is not.

I second "How to Talk So Kids Will Listen." The authors (Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish) also have an excellent book called "Siblings Without Rivalry"

http://www.amazon.com/Siblings-Without-Rivalry-Children-Together/dp/0393342212/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1418149953&sr=8-1&keywords=siblings+without+rivalry+how+to+help+your+children+live+together+so+you+can+live+too

This walker - it keeps making noise after your kid stops playing with it: VTech Sit-to-Stand Learning Walker (Frustration Free Packaging) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0053X62GK/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_JNivDbSERAGDE

And this drum set: VTech KidiBeats Kids Drum Set https://www.amazon.com/dp/B007XVYSDE/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_CPivDb37NDZPP

This is a fun one.

Potty (Leslie Patricelli board books) https://www.amazon.com/dp/0763644765/ref=cm_sw_r_awd_otQSub04E7VWY

Also:

Everyone Poops (My Body Science Series) https://www.amazon.com/dp/192913214X/ref=cm_sw_r_awd_duQSub12X94F5

It's OK to Wake!

I've found that reading a few books with different viewpoints helps. You'll be able to get a big picture of things and get ideas for what would work for you.

I only have a 2 year old, so I'll follow this thread for sure to see other recs. I've read Lansbury's No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline Without Shame , and Ive also read the "Taming your Toddler" chapters of The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems: Sleeping, Feeding, and Behavior--Beyond the Basics from Infancy Through Toddlerhood.

I've got some problems with both books, but Ive also taken good points from both and made use of them.

Keep your chin up, remember that it is a phase. It's always a phase.

If one thing isn't working, drop it and try another thing. That includes yelling, and the 'natural consequence' of removing toys.

Give this book a shot: http://www.amazon.com/How-Talk-Kids-Will-Listen-ebook/dp/B005GG0MXI
I have tried a couple of tricks from just the first few chapters where I acknowledge that my (nearly) 6 year old is really upset/frustrated/whatever and while it doesn't produce the miracle results that the book talks about it does seem to chill him out and defuse what might otherwise have gone awry.

Because you've got a 7mo in the house, you should try to get each parent to schedule a special day with your little hell-raiser. Maybe one day every couple of weeks you just focus on him where you go for a pancake breakfast, a walk in the park, fly a kite at the playground.

Focus. You can do this.

If it were me, I'd stop using time out unless she's breaking a rule. If whining is against the rules in your house that's one thing, but putting her in time out because she's upset about something seems counterproductive.

Happiest Toddler on the Block is a book. I liked it. It didn't revolutionize anything here at the Snow household but it did give me a better way to empathize with what Toddler_Snow was going through.

We read the book What Makes a Baby to our daughter. It describes in simple terms what an egg and sperm are. It uses real words like vagina and uterus. It doesn't go over how the sperm gets to the egg but our daughter has never asked after reading the book. It's recommended for ages 3-7.

What Makes a Baby https://www.amazon.com/dp/1609804856/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_J6vnxbD1X8GHP

What makes a baby by Cory Silverberg and Sex is a funny word by Cory Silverberg.
https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1609804856/ref=aw_wl_ov_dp_1_5?colid=303D03EVSEHVR&coliid=I2RQFF256IARZ6

You might want to get something like this for his windows and house doors. It would also work for a classroom door.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00178HMCI/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_-NINAbGD5JPBX

I thought this was a really useful book for advice on dealing with toddler meltdowns: http://www.amazon.com/Happiest-Toddler-Block-Cooperative-Four-Year-Old/dp/0553384422/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1377481709&sr=1-1&keywords=happiest+toddler+on+the+block

Basic advice is that your first reaction when a toddler starts a tantrum is to mirror back to them what you think they are feeling in language simple enough for them to understand and with enough emotion to communicate that you really get how upset they are. Basically, it's "active listening" - a technique used by professional mediators and psychologists, among others. It works on people of every age. The idea is to convince them that they have been heard, so they will be more open to hearing what you have to say.

Also, my advice for a working woman coping with a period of SAHMhood: get out of the house as much as possible. The day goes faster and problems seem more trivial when you are out and about. Yes, I know it is a hassle to take them both out. I have twins. It can be done!

I recommend reading 1-2-3 Magic
https://www.amazon.com/1-2-3-Magic-Effective-Discipline-Children/dp/1889140430/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1492625798&sr=8-2&keywords=123+magic

My daughter has a really great alarm clock. This is it. It has a light that comes on when it's ok to get up.

It also has an option for an audible alarm and snooze for older kids.

No one has recommended "Happiest Toddler on the Block" by Harvey Karp.... so I will! Teaches you all about the psychology of a toddler so you can understand how to prevent tantrums and how to calm them down when they happen. It's written in a kind of silly way (the whole thing uses the analogy of toddlers being like cave men), but I think it's worth a look.

We got the OK to Wake clock mentioned above when our son was a bit over 2 years old. It works well for him. I like that we can set not only what time the light comes on, but how long it stays lit. It won't wake him up (as in, if he's sleeping and the light comes on, it's not bright enough to startle him awake), but it does let him know when it's OK to get out of bed when he does wake up naturally.

There are good books for his age, and if you can't wait for those to arrive, you can tell him what breasts are for (in mammals in general too!).

This is the book we used, but there are probably newer ones on the market now --
http://www.amazon.com/dp/0142410586/ref=wl_it_dp_o_pd_nS_ttl?_encoding=UTF8&colid=3S2VIGJW764KF&coliid=IAHCYGO5N2852

Edit: forgot to say that I discussed sexual reproducation with my kid in the context of animal mating in general. That's where babies come from (and also mammal versus non-mammal differences).

Everyone has different opinions, but mine are

Sleep: Ferber

Discipline: 1-2-3 Magic

Like a lot of things with kids, routine and consistency are paramount. Unfortunately, he is a little too young for the Discipline and might be a little too old for the Ferber sleep method, but they might be worth looking into. You can find summaries on the internet too. It can be a tough age.

I had the same problem. I got these. My little brother hates the sound and learned fast!

GE Personal Security Window/Door Alarm, 2-Pack, DIY Home Protection, Burglar Alert, Wireless Alarm, Off/Chime/Alarm, Easy Installation, Ideal for Home, Garage, Apartment, Dorm, RV and Office, 45115 https://smile.amazon.com/dp/B00178HMCI/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_g1lRCbHGF2FCB

Caught my stepson sneaking out at age 15. We went on full lock down mode, bought these alarms for the doors.
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00178HMCI?keywords=door%20alarm&qid=1450789802&ref_=sr_1_3&sr=8-3

Then we screwed his windows shut, because we caught him going out the window. That all worked. We had a helluva time with him, and although he is 19 now, I can't say it's worked out right. We did the best we could as parents. We did drug testing, too. I hate to say it, but you have to figure hormones are coming into play, so maybe a "check up" by the doctor is in order.

1. Make the bed his/her personal place. Our child picked out sheets, picked out the blanket, selects stuffed animals to take to bed, etc.
   
   
2. Have a night-time routine including reading to the child in his/her bed.
   
   
3. We've had a lot of luck with this color changing alarm clock: our child will stay in bed waiting for the color to change.
   
   http://www.amazon.com/Wake-Childrens-Alarm-Clock-Nightlight/dp/B002RNKOM2

The neighbors need more ambient noise in their apartment. A white-noise machine operating at a surprisingly low volume will mask a ton of noise. this one's great. I have really loud neighbors, and my white-noise machine is a complete sanity saver!

It might be time to get Amazing You to talk about body parts and which ones are private.

Protecting the Gift is my go-to recommendation here. It is a fantastic book.

Unconditional Parenting - check out this book http://www.amazon.com/Unconditional-Parenting-Moving-Rewards-Punishments/dp/0743487486

Check out this book: https://www.amazon.com/No-Bad-Kids-Toddler-Discipline/dp/1499351119

And more from the author on her website (and facebook page): http://www.janetlansbury.com/

You can also use the What Makes a Baby book.

1 2 3 magic

Spoilers: You teach them that there is consequence for their actions.

Non-mobile: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00008BFZH/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?qid=1426979922&sr=8-1&keywords=snap+circuits&dpPl=1&dpID=51J81R-V0TL&ref=plSrch&pi=AC_SX200_QL40

^That's ^why ^I'm ^here, ^I ^don't ^judge ^you. ^PM ^/u/xl0 ^if ^I'm ^causing ^any ^trouble. ^WUT?

We had this one for a long time and it's adjustable so you can adjust the pitch of the noise a little. However, I think it was a little lower-pitched than the video you posted at our regular setting (we don't have it any more though, so I'm not sure).

http://www.amazon.com/Marpac-DOHM-DS-Natural-actual-Machine/dp/B000KUHFGM

https://www.amazon.com/How-Talk-Kids-Will-Listen-ebook/dp/B005GG0MXI

this. My kid was pushing that thing all day without bothering anybody. best thing ever.

http://www.amazon.com/Its-So-Amazing-Families-Library/dp/0763613215/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1322620018&sr=1-1 My daughter has this one. It goes into detail without being condescending. Talks about putting the penis into the vagina, etc. Not just "a special hug."

"Siblings without Rivalry" is a good book by Faber/Mazlish
amazon link

That was one of my personal fears. In addition to the toddler proof door knob cover we used some of the cheap stick on door alert sensors that beep loudly when the door is opened.

I couldn’t finish the book. I stopped reading when they recommended locking a 5-yr old in their room during a tantrum, and gave a detailed explanation on how to wedge a blanket just right if you don’t have a lock on the door.

One of the authors, Foster Cline, was a big proponent of attachment therapy, a controversial therapeutic technique that killed a few kids back in the 1980’s and 1990’s.

Personally, I think Love and Logic is dangerous, and if I hear of a parent using their techniques, I would suggest alternative books.

I like Peaceful Parent, Happy Kid, How to Talk so Kids Will Listen, and The Whole Brain Child..

I work for a statewide Child Abuse Prevention org and we advocate that “8 is great.” It’s an appropriate time to discuss sexual development before they start to get misinformation through other sources (friends, media, etc).

“It’s So Amazing” is an excellent book. I ordered the series but began with this one when my son was 8.

https://www.amazon.com/Its-So-Amazing-Families-Library/dp/0763613215

> She will sleep for 45 minutes to an hour and a half in her crib

The sleep cycles of babies last between 30 and 45 minutes. Sounds like your daughter's cycles last 45. Whenever a cycle is ending, babies are easily aroused to wakefulness, or wake up themselves if they feel something is amiss. For example, my 11 month old will sleep 45 minute naps if he's by himself, but up to 2 hour naps if his mom sleeps with him. He will sleep long naps too if I'm holding him, as I think my heartbeat and breathing ease him. We co-sleep too and our baby "sleeps through the night" in the sense that he seldom becomes fully awake, but he very much fusses until he finds mommy's breast, sucks a few drinks and goes back to sleep. I tell you all this so that you don't think something is wrong with what you've been doing. In my opinion, you've been doing it perfectly well.

Since you need/want your baby to sleep by herself, have you heard of the No Cry Sleep Solution? Check it out. I've heard it requires a bigger effort than CIO, but is just as effective and you're not forcing your child to feel abandoned and suck it up.

She could try alarms on his bedroom door and would know immediately if he got out of his room.
https://www.amazon.com/GE-Protection-Installation-Apartment-45115/dp/B00178HMCI/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1510192745&sr=8-3&keywords=door+alarm&dpID=41TKiINpXOL&preST=_SY300_QL70_&dpSrc=srch

He also needs consequences for his actions.

We had a similar issue with our 3 year old and ended up getting a clock that lit up at a time that we set. He no longer gets up at the butt crack of dawn and it can even work for when he needs a nap.

Here is the clock we got.
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B002RNKOM2/ref=oh_details_o03_s00_i00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

These are in regular rotation at my house:

[Snap Circuits] (https://www.amazon.com/Snap-Circuits-SC-100-Electronics-Discovery/dp/B00008BFZH/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1479317434&sr=8-1&keywords=snap+circuits)

[Xyloba Musical Marble Run] (https://www.amazon.com/Xyloba-Musical-Marble-Run-Mezzo/dp/B0039BDB8U/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1479317393&sr=8-1&keywords=xyloba)

[hot wheels cars and track] (https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_2?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=hot+wheels+track) - we don't have any of the prefab sets, just the track - miles of it from what it feels like.

Art Supplies - paper, paint, markers, colored pencils, oil pastels

[And then adding on to Legos, books like Crazy Contraptions or Chain Reactions] (https://www.amazon.com/Klutz-LEGO-Chain-Reactions-Craft/dp/0545703301/ref=pd_sim_21_17?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=D9EYSBSVT92VETETB5WS)


Board games -

Sleeping Queens, Card and Go Seek, Creature Clash, Battle Ship, checkers, Sorry

There is a difference in allowing your child to cry themselves to sleep and teaching them to soothe themselves and go to sleep on thier own. I recommend a book called the No Cry Sleep Solution. We have followed the same bedtime routine (and played the same music) every night for our son who is now three and he goes to sleep at night and for nap with no fuss. Also when you first begin, you don't let your child just cry it out. You start by waiting 5 then 10,15, and 20 minutes to soothe them. I think that we started this around six or nine months old.

> Could she be clinically depressed or bipolar at 17 months?

No. You're not describing symptoms of either.

I have a cousin whose daughter sounds EXACTLY like yours. She's never content, always screaming/crying/fussing. She's developmentally delayed (I'm not saying yours is) as she isn't really talking at all at 2.5 years old.

Have you spoken to your pediatrician about these concerns? Have you requested an evaluation to determine if it's something medically concerning?

Edit: I also highly recommend The Whole Brain Child, it talks about how to parent by catering towards your kid's brain development level.

> Dohm

here you go lazy person! https://www.amazon.com/Marpac-Dohm-DS-All-Natural-White-Machine/dp/B000KUHFGM?th=1

http://www.amazon.com/No-Bad-Kids-Toddler-Discipline/dp/1499351119 No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline by Janet Lansbury might be a good read for you.

I use [this](Marpac Dohm-DS All-Natural White Noise Sound Machine, Tan https://www.amazon.com/dp/B000KUHFGM/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_UXlnzb8RG76JB) white noise machine. I was previously using fans, but they always developed ticks or squeaks that annoyed me and they were not as effective. If the iPhone apps don't work, this could be worth a try!

No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline Without Shame - Janet Lansbury

My wife and I bought, and used, the book The No Cry Sleep Solution and loved it. The words "no cry" in the title mean the author does not advocate the "cry it out" method.

The book has lots of suggestions for different situations, different ages, and different problems. She presents you with lots of tools and options to help you figure out what is going to work for your unique situation.

I like the ideas of a magnetic chime or alarm. It can alert you (and warn/scare the kid) that the door was opened but it doesn't prevent a door being opened in an emergency. These look good:
https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B00178HMCI/ref=aw_wl_ov_dp_1_2?colid=3D99YYX2I5XKO&coliid=I2N7YRVEDBQRS0&vs=1

On the subject of kids escaping...anyone have a solution to for crank windows? I took the crank off so they technically can't "open it" but they can "unlock" the window. It has a stop built in so you can't just open the window without the crank (like if you unlocked it and pushed on the window itself, it doesn't open) but I don't really trust it in their second story bedrooms and I'm scared if they push hard on the window it will open and they can fall out. But I haven't ever seen locks for these types of windows. Anyone?

No Bad Kids by Janet Lansbury was a big game changer for me. It helped me understand why 2 year olds tantrum the way they do, not just tools for working with them.

Soft building blocks like these (althought I'm sure you can find cheaper ones). Is she walking? You could totally get her a push-around toy like this. My kid barely used hers and she didn't walk til she was 17mo, but I've seen other kids go nuts with 'em. Balls. My daughter has always gone crazy for balls of all sizes and textures. some things you already have like tupperware and lids or pots and pans and wooden spoons kinda thing. A fellow redditor has mentioned to me about letting them use shaving cream with food coloring in an empty tub to keep them occupied (I needed a mental health day and looking for ideas to keep her occupied otherwise). But only do that one if she's in your view obviously.

Something I just remembered, she loves brushes. She has a bad habit of climbing my vanity seat and messing with my brushes so I gave her a few of my old cheap ones. Try that, my girl carries them everywhere.

OMG THIS THING: https://www.amazon.com/VTech-Stand-Learning-Frustration-Packaging/dp/B0053X62GK

It has this loud, grating, whiny voice in it that sounds like the NY accent people used to use in old 1940's movies, SO OBNOXIOUS. It'll have them plotting to destroy it in a matter of DAYS.