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Hi there!

You seem like a perfect match- get yourself a copy of Urban Shaman, study the heck out of it, and you're set. I'm getting lots of strong energy in that direction from you. The Hawaiian Huna
Shaman Training Course is also really, really, really good- worth every penny. Kalana Hula is also really nice.

The brother and father thing seems to be some kind of underlying aggression- not purely symbolic, actually destructive- I do sense something impulsive about you you may want to use the Urban Shaman techniques to compensate for- try pinkfogging them (look it up). Not necessarily acutely dangerous but I do recommend to do the energy work. You can also use the Urban Shaman techniques to talk to them and ask them what they are all about.

You may have been visited around 2015 by some entities- yeah, not entirely benevolent ones, it would appear. Not terrible, not super dangerous, but in some way representative of fearful energy. I would recommend to use the white light to harmonize things as a first aid measure, and then vastly build up your confidence.

Nope- those characters are aspects of yourself- purely symbolic, representative of traits. I recommend to transmute them to become purely positive, and work with them as you see fit. I am getting a bit of letting the symbols determine their effects here- as a shaman, you want yourself to determine the effect, and decide if you want the symbol or not. Get into the driver's seat, and if the symbol is conductive of that, great, and if not, you may want to observe it one last time through the rear view mirror.

Yeah that seems right- 10 lifetimes. But those are apparently those appropriate to connect with right now- I am getting more like 967.

Yes, of course you will be happy- and successful. You have already chosen a path, it would appear- I find your shaman energy to be super, super intense- get the darn book, and use all of that energy to study it. I've been in terribly depressed and anxious places, and I used the information to now to amazingly well by my own standards. I feel great, I'm confident, I have harmony, and I constantly surprise myself with how I can deal with my challenges- and the one thing I always come back to is using the information in that book.

I hope this helps! Feel free to follow up!

Being new to discovering your abilities is the BEST! I am so excited for you!

As a medium, I find it important to always work through the heart, and to be sure I am grounded and centered before doing any Spirit work. Build your relationship to Soul/Higherself. I found connecting IN to my own Soul brings the clearest energy. Begin learning your own energy, sooner than you know you'll be able to discern energies and begin clear communication.

Soul1.org is a great site to learn to clear your Central Channel. All of this clearing work will serve you in the long. You'll be so happy you laid a basic foundation for yourself.

There is also a book Soul Psycology by Joshua David Stone that has tons of excellent information in it. Basic framework to higher development. He has written a lot of books, most I am not a huge fan of, but this one I enjoyed. Another fun one, especially of you like working with visuals (sacred geometry) Sedona Beyond the Vortex by Richard Dannelley. If you enjoy books about Channeling or Archangels check out What is Lightbody by Archangel Ariel channelled through Tashira Tachi-ren.


Find a solid network of people that you can feel comfortable with for learning. No matter how you choose to learn, or who you choose to learn with, just remember you have the power to do everything you're hoping to accomplish! Your teacher, should you choose to work with one, should be leading you to your own power.

Edit: typos (of course) x2.

i dont believe we are here to learn lessons, i believe life is meant to be fun and easy no matter how bad we have gone thru. you should check out the book Easy World by Julia Rogers Hamrick it´s cool and teaches you how to stay in that mindset even when bad stuff is happening.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Choosing-World-Julia-Rogers-Hamrick/dp/0312574800/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=julia+rogers+hamrick&qid=1563104656&s=gateway&sr=8-1

if you want to smoothly navigate thru challenges you look at your thoughts and choose to focus on the ones that are helpful and uplifting, e.g. "lots of people have had awful lives and awful childhoods, I am not alone" "lots of epople had awful ives and now have brilliant ones, which means i can do it too (e.g. Louise Hay). If you have done the inner work but your daily self talk hasn´t changed (the thoughts running thru your head on autopilot!!) then you will see that when you change your inner self talk and reprogram it, your life changea around you. Louise Hay is a really good books to understand this. "it is so easy and fun for me to make changes." "i am in the process of positive change." "everything that happens is for my benefit."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J208UVRtP5U&t=73s

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MXfedJ6f9N4&t=400s

the fact that you even found out about htese principles is evidence that the Universe wants you to evolve. Btw for most of the people ive seen, even the most succesful manifestors still have bad stuff happen to them. its just that theýre more resilient than most people so they shake it off quicker, dont take it as a sign of failure and actually see it as an opportunity for themselves or their lives to come better in some way!!! its just like the most successful people in business and sports.

Check out this book on how to improve your luck: he makes it clear he doesn´t beleive in LoA but basically every single thing he writes IS LoA whether he beleives in it or not. :https://www.amazon.co.uk/Luck-Factor-Scientific-Study-Lucky/dp/0099443244/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=the+luck+factor&qid=1563104611&s=gateway&sr=8-1

https://www.amazon.ca/Original-Dog-Tarot-Divine-Canine/dp/0307984931/

"Want to know why your dog shreds your slippers but ignores his designer toys? Does your pooch really want a puppy for companionship, or are you delusional?  The Original Dog Tarot is an entertaining, tongue-in-jowl deck of tarot cards and accompanying book affectionately written for dog lovers who want to divine their canine's mind. The 30 cards are a takeoff on the traditional tarot; they're divided into the Major Barkana and Minor Barkana. Each card offers advice for both canines and the humans in their lives. You don't have to be familiar with traditional tarot to use this deck. It is a witty and wise stand-alone oracle for anyone who has given up mastering the techniques of  The Dog Whisperer."

No problem. If you're interested in self-realization, I highly recommend The Upanishads and Bhagavad Gita; short reads, but very powerful and ancient systems of self-examination and inquiry (the linked translations are, in my opinion, the best formatted and done, with a stellar introduction for those unfamiliar with the text). Additionally, I'd like to leave you with a quote about dreams that left a very strong impact on me:

As 4th century BCE Daoist philosopher, Chuang Tzu, said: “Chuang Tzu once dreamed that he was a butterfly fluttering here and there, going wherever he pleased. He was totally unaware of Chuang Tzu. A sudden awakening left nothing else but Chuang Tzu himself, who did not know anything about his being a bufferfly. It is therefore unknown whether it is Chuang Tzu who dreamed of being a bufferfly or if it is a butterfly who dreamed of being Chuang Tzu. The butterfly and Chuang Tzu are completely different entities, and it is called transformation when an entity becomes another.”

Well I'm clairvoyant and a medium, which means they talk to me. I'm also clairempatheic (an empath). But I worked on opening up my chakras and practiced and honed my psychic abilities over years. I'm still working on it all the time. :)

Because I'm clairvoyant, it means they talk to me in pictures. So I see them in my mind's eye. I don't see them like a person standing in front of me. Although some who are clairvoyant do. And I'm a medium which means I can talk to them and they can talk to me. I talk to them in my head (or out loud) and they show me pictures or scenes. Sometimes I'll hear them in my head. Just depends on the person I'm communicating with. My empathic ability allows me to emotionally feel what they are feeling.

But there are tons of books out there on learning how to develop your psychic abilities. Just given the fact that you feel like you're being watched, you're probably clairempathic (clear-emotion) which means you can easily read people's emotions. You could also be clairsentient (clear-feeling) which means you can physically feel them as well.

Here's info on the the "clairs": http://www.quantumpossibilities.biz/clairs.htm

And here's a book that got me started on sharpening my abilities: https://www.amazon.com/Psychic-Pathway-Workbook-Reawakening-Voice/dp/0517884070

But there are a ton out there. You just have to find one that works for you. :)

For me it was just something I was born doing apparently. Most of the time I had no idea that it was a spirit. They look like normal people to me 99% of the time. What did come hard for me was hearing and understanding them. It was like watching a silent movie that way. It's only been in the past 10 years maybe that they talk much to me. It's a muscle albeit one of the mind. You have to have one to be able to use it but if you do you keep using it the better you get at it.

I caution you though. This is not all fun and games. When you are beginning at this work there are a lot of things out there that love psychics who are not experienced. They will try to fool you and use you. There a lot of books out there about basic psychic self-defense. Some of the techniques in them are worth trying. Centering, shielding, it's really important when you are developing a medium's skill. Channeling is dangerous at any skill level I think, can be. You knock on doors you can't always know who's on the other end or always close them by yourself. Be careful.

One thing I've learned is to trust my gut more than my eyes. Not everything is as it appears. Some things appear fine but they set off a radar inside so I look with a bit more caution and I realize that what I am talking to isn't who it presented itself as. To me spirits are almost always solid, and whole. Some of the other things I've seen, not so much. They may look solid at first glance but they're missing something if you look close enough and that will trigger that internal warning. You challenge it and their facade will eventually crumble and they may even get nasty on you. Which is why I don't suggest people mess with being a medium until they've learned to ground and protect themselves.

Honestly some people who are very open should never do this kind of work. It really depends upon how well the individual can learn to keep things they don't want out while letting only the good things in. Being a medium is not just about seeing spirits etc. Some of what you will encounter will want more than that. Some people have the ability to be a channel but they don't have the ability to discern at will and that can get you into big trouble. Some spirits lie about who they are to get you to pay attention to them. They want to experience life through you and some of them can be very persistent about trying to reel you in. If you meet a dead person or a spirit guide and it starts telling you how uniquely special you are? Starts romancing you mentally? Run.

The late Joe Fisher wrote a very vivid cautionary tale about his experiences with channels, mediums, spirit guides, and the like. What the book doesn't tell you is that the man's end may well have come from his explorations in this field. There are some very questionable things about his death. His book made a lot of people nervous at the time. It's a heck of a read though and I always suggest it as required reading to anyone intent upon messing with this end of things...

https://www.amazon.com/Siren-Call-Hungry-Ghosts-Investigation/dp/1931044023

I identify with a lot of the things you experience and am currently working to increase my own abilities. I suggest checking out Sonia Choquette's Ask Your Guides and The Psychic Pathway. She covers a lot of your points (feelings what others feel, effects of negative energy, strengthening your abilities, etc). She helped answer a lot of my questions and validate some beliefs. I'd also suggest meditation, if you don't already. Especially chakra meditations to open your third eye. I hope this may have helped and wish you luck on your journey.

I understand where you're coming from. There's so much emphasis on correct posture in the techniques associated with this kind of work, it gives the impression that the disabled might as well not bother. It's just that the instructions are written for the widest possible audience and assume the capabilities of the 'average' or 'normal' person.

It's worth remembering though, that in many shamanic societies disability was seen as a sign of suitability for this work. Although traditionally passed orally from shaman to shaman, there are now some excellent books on shamanic practice. I recommend Jan Fries' Visual Magick. There's a free Pdf here. Not everything he suggests will be possible for you, but you can adapt things to suit. And that's the thing - you may have to pick and choose across traditions, taking a piece from here, a piece from there, until you have something that works for you.

Some are of the opinion that this is in some way disrespectful, or even dangerous, but if you tread carefully, follow intuition, and your intent is to work for the good of all (rather than mere self interest) you will find something that works for you. Nobody is shut out from this; the universe will find you a way if you work with it. The pain and frustration you have to deal with, can be used to your advantage; disability forces us to confront our deepest fears in ways that the able bodied can, and usually do, sidestep with ease.

You will have to accept your situation, yes. But there's real magic in that surrender; it changes your experience quite radically. Equanimity is a wonderful thing - nothing has changed, everything is different. You may even find that, blasphemous as it sounds, you eventually feel gratitude for the challenges your situation presents you with.

I have a balance disorder; dizziness, vertigo, and a truly slapstick lack of physical coordination. My skeletal structure has been warped by it, compressing nerves and blood vessels in my neck, resulting in migraines, and the loss of most of the sensation and function in my left hand; I know what it's like to be rigid and immobile.

My SO has limited sensation and movement following the removal of a spinal tumour in childhood, so I have some idea what you're dealing with. Bits of vertebrae were removed and the remaining bone fused together, but it was done as an emergency operation, at a time when spinal surgery was less advanced. He's dosed up on Tramadol right now, trying to sleep off a bout of crippling nerve pain.

Both of us have struggled with despair, and there are times when life still seems impossibly daunting. But it's never more than we can handle, we always learn something useful, and whenever things look hopeless the universe provides some small miracle. Even my SO is beginning to have a little faith that, so long as we continue to try, the universe will find a way to give us what we need.

I haven't exactly gone snooping through your comment history, but I had a quick look. Things are bad right now, but you're very strong, much stronger than you realize, and despite appearances (and possibly the odd human being), everything's on your side. You can't do things the same way as everyone else perhaps, but you can follow the gentle prompting of the world around you to something uniquely yours.

Everyday Tarot or for a 'classical' RWS deck with the foundational art, I love the Radiant Wise:

https://www.amazon.com/Radiant-Wise-Spirit-Tarot-Scarabeo/dp/0738762369

My favorite book is just about the reality of heaven and earth from a spiritual perspective, Seat of the Soul by Gary Zukav. It does have some info about guides.

http://www.ebay.com/itm/The-Seat-of-the-Soul-Gary-Zukav-067169507X-Book-Acceptable-/182560010647?hash=item2a816cb197:g:diMAAOSwHMJYPAJk

https://www.amazon.com/Seat-Soul-Gary-Zukav/dp/067169507X/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1494647311&sr=8-2&keywords=seat+of+the+soul

I have never been more delighted with a deck and book combo than with Barbara Moore's steampunk tarot.
It's engaging, playful-yet-perfectly-serious, and has some very insightful and intuitive descriptions for t cards. It's easy to start simple and then dive deep with this deck.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/0738726389/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_oayIDbM7XYCDJ

Yes, in some ways. Yet, in the long run, it hurts you much more than the person. You will suffer from anger and depression etc. When we continually manifest negative energy with negative thoughts, we walk around with negative vibe. People won't want to get close to us. That will also prevent you from meeting a partner who is kind and caring. So.... Letting go of the person who was not there for you. Forgive the person and yourself. Understand that not every relationship works. Not everyone we meet will stay.

During tough times, self compassion helps me a lot. self-compassion.org

I also really like this book. How to Be Single and Happy: Science-Based Strategies for Keeping Your Sanity While Looking for a Soul Mate
https://www.amazon.com/dp/0143130994/ref=cm_sw_em_r_mt_dp_U_XHUHDb4EW1NHZ

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I wish you the best :)

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I like the shadowscapes and both of the Paulina decks (Paulina and Joie de Vivre )

How to Meet and Work With Spirit Guides by Ted Andrews

I'll look into that!

Here is the workbook. I'll edit the thread with the link as well. I debated putting it in the main post, but didn't really want to come off as plugging anything. I guess since it isn't actually my book it doesn't really matter.

http://www.amazon.com/The-Psychic-Workbook-Techniques-Reliable/dp/0764348167

I have never read the companion, which is silly since I do own it. But I have read and own several books on the more specific topics. I have his Story of Jesus, which goes into Mary, Joseph and the Essenes quite a bit.

You can check out Discovering Your Psychic Type by Sherrie Dillard

Here is the mobile version of your link

Everyone is psychic. In case this interests you:

"A practical, step-by-step, 12-week interactive program that teaches you how to develop the intuitive sense that lies within you and to live in accordance with the soul's purpose by discovering your center of spiritual power. The Psychic Pathway refines intuition into a life-enhancing tool that can be used every day."

The Psychic Pathway: A Workbook for Reawakening the Voice of Your Soul

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Look up soul retrieval for lots of details. Here's the most helpful excerpt I found with a quick search:

Soul loss is a helpful response in that it allows our essence (a piece or fragment of soul) to remove itself from suffering and pain. In her book, Soul Retrieval, Sandra Ingerman describes soul loss as “spiritual illness that causes emotional and physical disease…(and) losing crucial parts of ourselves that provide us with life and vitality.”

My missing pieces are about abuse and disappointing social relationships and situations mostly from adolescence if that helps at all. I had some retrieved from my childhood already — one about safety, one about creativity, and one about friendship.