(Part 2) Top products from r/SelfDefense

Given that guns are not a choice for you, there are still plenty of options. Professional security focuses on Layers. You should too:
-Driveway sensor or doorbell with video capabilities
-Door alarm and interior/exterior cameras
-Reinforced bedroom door

None of these options are permanent and all could be taken with you when you move.

Next, weapons- If you choose not to train with a specific weapon you should focus on something that can't be taken away and used against you. Pepper spray can have an effective spray pattern of up to 30 feet ( https://www.amazon.com/SABRE-Red-Pepper-Gel-Strength/dp/B002368VJ6/ref=sr_1_18?s=sporting-goods&ie=UTF8&qid=1485379693&sr=1-18&keywords=pepper+spray+self+defense).

A taser gun (http://www.defenseproducts101.com/tasers_introduction.html) can also be a good choice especially when combined with pepper spray.

-Next, an escape plan. Can you get out of the house from your bedroom (access to the roof, rope ladder, etc.). Do you have quick and easy access to your cell phone? Can you call a neighbor or someone who may be closer than the police?

-Practice! Practice answering the door under a threatening situation. Practice deploying your pepper spray. Know when you'd resort to your next tools. Practice locking and securing your safe room door (One of those wooden triangle used to keep doors open will also keep them closed!).

-Finally, commit to your plan. If your plan is to fight, then practice that. If your plan is to escape, resist, or give in, know in advance what you want to do.

Security doesn't have to be expensive and a gun is only a good tool for those who educate themselves and train regularly. Being prepared and making yourself look like less of a victim is much more important.

You'll find renewed confidence in doing all of this. Best of luck!

One option I don't see mentioned that I recommend personally is a "tactical pen". It's what my wife and I carry everywhere we go and can easily be brought in to secure locations such as airports.

It's essentially a metal pen designed to hurt your assailant allowing enough time to break free and make a run for it.

Training is of course the most important thing with whatever you decide to carry. A quick jab to the top of the hand or under an armpit will cause someone to loosen their grip allowing you to break free.

It's a very non-threatening object, yet serves the purpose. It literally looks just like a fancy pen (and functions as such too).

I got my wife this model: Columbia River Knife and Tool TPENWK Williams Tactical Pen https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0074FGPKI/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_FSbkzb7P89SCX

I'm a paramedic in the ghetto, and my flashlight has saved me (and the nasty folks the cops would tune up for jumping me) more times than I can count.

A flashlight is "street language" for "I am a legitimate citizen who is supposed to be here, is hiding nothing, and I might be a government employee..."

In a sketchy area at night, if I had to choose only one (for whatever dumb reason) between my pistol and a bright flashlight, I'd pick the flashlight.

Some advice about your wife's friend -

Strike while the iron's hot. Buy her this book and one other from the "other readers bought" list and y'all have a little book club talk about it. This is a great opportunity to get your wife on board with this stuff, too.

And everybody sign up for some Krav classes from a legit gym! Even if you folks only go for 3 months, you'll be better off than before (especially the gals). I teach a lot of women from "Intro to Krav" on up through their Level 2 certification, and they almost all "freeze up" when it comes to actually striking another human being. Seriously, we'll work out, practice some techniques, then I'll put on a Red Man suit and "attack"....and they can't bring themselves to strike me. It's a barrier that needs to be broken through for them to be safe from the two-legged predators that sometimes show up. My guess is it takes on average 5-20 hours of instruction to undo this societal conditioning.

I used the methods in the book Raising Kids Who Can Protect Themselves with my kid.

I liked that it covered mindset and the physical components of self-defense.

> There is no reason to buy one. It's a gimmick to get your cash, they are shit..

Just buy a Zebra F-701 with a Fisher Space Pen refill. Total cost: around $11 plus shipping if you don't have Prime. It's a solid steel tube and will write anywhere, plus it doesn't scream "tactical pen!" so you can fly with it.

If you care about that sort of thing. I'd rather carry a pistol, and do.

Many judo clubs are very much non-profits. You might be able to explain your financial and living situation, and get a reduced rate. I bet most any place I've trained in the last 10 years wouldn't turn me away if I was in danger and couldn't afford training.

Tasers are just going to be expensive no matter what. Plus you have to periodically train with it, and a single training cartridge costs something like $25. May be something to think about long term, but probably not a short term solution.

One of the cheapest, fastest, and easiest things I can think of is to get some of these stickers and put one around the area of concern. It absolutely will not stop someone who knows what they are doing, but it might give pause to some people.

When I mentioned alarm systems, I was thinking something more expensive, but you could also get something like this or this. The main purpose of this is to just make sure you don't get caught sleeping. That's a nighmare scenario. If someone breaks in, and you know about it, have a bat or something and fight. Your odds really aren't that bad. (Thieves and rapists really aren't looking for a life-or-death fight.)

None of this is ideal, but it can help a lot.

One of my favorite resources is "The Little Black Book of Violence." It gives only a little discussion to direct combat –there's no substitute for consistent martial arts or firearms training– but it summarizes enough stuff about situational awareness, de-escalation, first aid, dealing with trauma, and other stuff to be a good general guide.

https://www.amazon.com/Little-Black-Book-Violence-Fighting/dp/1594391297

PDF: https://educatebiology.files.wordpress.com/2017/08/the-little-black-book-of-violence-what-every-young-man-needs-to-now-about-fighting.pdf

Take a look at sturdy aluminum pens. It never hurts to have something to jot quick notes or thoughts down. They’re also a very solid pokey sticky stabby device. Most importantly, Kanada hasn’t banned pens and no one will question you for having one.

Here’s the pen I carry daily.

Check out the series by Rory Miller (Meditations on Violence, Facing Violence, etc.) https://www.amazon.com/Meditations-Violence-Comparison-Martial-Training/dp/1594391181

To start, I’m going to have make certain assumptions as some pertinent information and context is lacking, so forgive me if I’m wrong, or offend.
Basic questions for you:

1. can you just remove them from your life? (Like not hanging out with them, or at a particular location, etc) because not being there is a whole lot easier and safer than having to engage in a physical confrontation, at least in my experience.
   
2. how serious is the threat? Is this person playing the tough guy? Was this a one off? And ask yourself why it’s happening? What brought it on?
   
3. if the situation does escalate to a physical confrontation where you need to defend yourself from physical violence for fear of your life (read that sentence over a few times, because if you ever have to talk to the police after the fact, what. You. Say. FUCKING MATTERS!)
   My question is how far are you willing to go, now I don’t ask this for me, ask yourself this. I have found, most women don’t really, or perhaps, are scared to “hurt” the other person. Fuck that. They are trying to hurt you, your only thought should be how to end the altercation in the most efficient and quick way possible.
   Example: aggressive guy yelling in your face, your scarred. Slap both his ears with cupped hands as hard as possible to try and blow his ear drums, when he’s bent over in pain, slam his head into the wall and run to safety. Make sure your safe, call the cops and report his ass.
   
   Here are a couple of resources you should check out to understand things a little more.
   http://www.nononsenseselfdefense.com
   
   https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0440508835/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1525587657&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_QL65&keywords=the+gift+of+fear&dpPl=1&dpID=51x0cj4i6yL&ref=plSrch
   
   https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B076KVC6C3/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1525587827&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_QL65&keywords=marc+macyoung&dpPl=1&dpID=51b47-GzWkL&ref=plSrch
   
   And google “Krav Maga” in your city. I found it to be one of the most efficient self defense systems around & it’s a hell of a workout.
   
   Hope this helps and makes sense and please, be safe, you’re worth it.

You need to get the right mindset first. Read these books:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Gift-Fear-Survival-Signals-Violence/dp/0747538352

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Left-Bang-Marine-Combat-Program/dp/1936891301/ref=pd_lpo_sbs_14_t_1?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=ZN8XMPW7T6FE7KKCX5Q3

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Dead-Alive-Self-Protection-Summersdale-Self-protection/dp/1840242795/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1543165627&sr=1-1&keywords=dead+or+alive+geoff+thompson

Anything written by Rory Miller should be on your list too.

You can probably find PDFs, youtube summaries or reviews covering the main lessons if you don't have the cash for the books.

Also check out this site:

https://www.nononsenseselfdefense.com/

Understanding a predator mindset, understanding how predators select victims, understanding pre-incident indicators and understanding how to make yourself a harder target is 99% of self protection. The 1% is the physical response when you've screwed up the rest.

Most violent criminals aren't trained fighters or martial artists. They just have fewer qualms about doing violence to another person and will stack the odds against you first. That's what makes them a threat.

You need to research how this happens - youtube, liveleak etc have an archive of violent assaults you can view. It never ceases to amaze me how many so-called 'self defence' teachers seem to be basing their curriculum on movies and TV rather than actually finding out how violent assault occurs and preparing for that.

If you filter your physical training through the above you will be on the right path. Styles which include a lot of resistant training (BJJ, Judo, Boxing, Kickboxing etc) are good for that and will help build your confidence but don't mistake sparring, rolling, randori etc for violent assault.

What are the free classes in your area?