Top products from r/SexPositive

I love, love, love the book It's Perfectly Normal, and it's what my daughter and I read together. (I gave her the choice of reading it on her own, and she chose to read it together.)

It's not only sex positive, but it is very inclusive about non-heterosexual relationships. The section on masturbation is lovely. I appreciate that there's a two-page illustration of tons of naked people (pseudo-realistic cartoons), and it's every kind of body you can imagine—elderly folks, handicapped, various ethnicities, skinny, fat. It gives a great sense of how we're different, yet so much the same.


I also appreciate that it has a sense of humor while keeping it very real. The title says it all, really, and "It's perfectly normal" is a theme that runs throughout the book.


Edit: Wow, just checked out the one-star reviews on Amazon. The fact that people have their panties in a bunch about it should be proof enough that it actually tells the honest truth.

This book is awesome for what you're looking for: http://www.amazon.com/This-Party-Started-Frances-Hill/dp/0811848701/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1375875395

There are a ton of games ranging from mild to wild designed to get people in the sexy mood. Probably won't be able to get it by this weekend but check it out for next time.

Edit: I'm feeling nice and if you'd like, I'll scan a few of the games that have been more successful for me. Can't post them till this afternoon though.

Thats a bummer. Sorry about your friend. Those things sound convincing because they tell you that dating can be controlled with a little rationality.

Thing is, dating "rules" are just super variable. There will never be a universal guide because there's just too much variation by location, culture, and taste. Everything I've seen opposing this have been pseudo science. Sure, there are some assumptions that are safe bets, but there's just too many exceptions to every "rule" for them to be rules.

I really recommend the book From Front Porch to Back Seat. It wont give him a how-to guide, BUT it will knock down a bunch of Seduction Guide bullshit. Those seduction guides tend to frame their rules as based on "natural" and universal behavior between gender, usually rooted in some pseudo-science evolutionary psychology. This book will tell him how all those cultural conventions around dating that we think have always been there are actually very recent and therefore, unless human beings evolve like Pokemon, definitely are NOT coded by evolution into our DNA.

Dan Savage stuff also helped me out a lot when I first started dating, but honestly I haven't been following him for a while so I dont really know any particular link that would be most helpful.

What you are experiencing sounds really awful and yet it's entirely normal. The basic principle of the brain is "what fires together wires together". When you had that very intense experience combining orgasms and suicidal thoughts because of medication, it simply made a literal connection in your brain. You can break it, and any good therapist can help you (doesn't have to be a sex therapist).

This can be treated like an OCD symptom where you are having intrusive thoughts triggered by a stimulus. There are great books on how to do this and I highly recommend them:

https://www.amazon.com/Overcoming-Unwanted-Intrusive-Thoughts-Frightening/dp/1626254346

https://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Workbook-OCD-Overcoming-Compulsions/dp/1608828786

Mind you, I'm not saying you have OCD, or any disorder. But your brain is "locked" in linking these two parts of your life in a very unpleasant way. There's absolutely nothing wrong with you and this could happen to anyone who was set off with nasty side effects of medication.

You may also approach this like an experience of Post Traumatic Stress, which can also show up with intrusive thoughts. Good resources for that exist too:

https://www.amazon.com/PTSD-Workbook-Effective-Techniques-Overcoming/dp/1626253706

https://www.amazon.com/Body-Keeps-Score-Healing-Trauma/dp/0143127748

You didn't do anything wrong and you can definitely get past this. The harder you try to fix a mental association the more you can strengthen it, so you need some techniques. Tools for OCD and PTSD are designed just for you in that regard.

I'd buy all 4 books and then find any good therapist to work through them with.

Good luck. I know with the right tools and practice you can separate these two aspects of your experience and get back to enjoying sex, which you deserve.

"Traversing Gender" is pretty general, but it does a good job of describing and honoring non-binary and fluidity.

https://www.amazon.ca/Traversing-Gender-Understanding-Transgender-Realities/dp/194273381X

Jane sexes it up (amazon link) was pretty well the only book I used on my journey to where I am today. It's really fantastic and offers a lot of different perspectives.

I have it on good authority that Sex For One by Betty Dodson is an excellent source: http://www.amazon.com/Sex-One-The-Joy-Selfloving/dp/0517886073/ref=pd_sim_b_1

If it is just you recording I would suggest http://www.amazon.com/CAD-U1-Dynamic-Recording-Microphone/dp/B000ULQTE0 a USB microphone. You get better control of the audio. A pop filter helps too. Context, I think about doing my own videos and did research on what equipment I would use.

Well, you might want to check out this book - it's aimed at women, but relevant to what you seem to want. This one is similar and very well thought of.

Have Fun!

https://www.amazon.com/Talk-Me-First-Everything-Go/dp/0738215082

https://www.amazon.com/Goodness-Sex-Changing-Sexuality-Values/dp/0062269518

Depends what kind of relationship you have and what you're into, but here are some of my favourites:

• Sex at Dawn
  
  
• Opening Up
  
  
• Wild Side Sex

Is this useful?

The Art of the Hook-Up: Your Ethical Guide to a Successful Sex Life https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07SZCH4V2/

Disclaimer: it was written by a friend of mine, so I'm not unbiased 😉 but it was written to deliberately counter the shitty PUA one-size-fits-all advice that we see so much of, and actually gives some practical skills.

There is a lack of information in the scientific community, but a reasonable guess would be that male orgasm has some vagus nerve involvement. The vagus nerve is unique in that it branches from the brain stem, forks, and runs separate from the spinal cord.

The role of the vagus nerve in orgasms is a new discovery and there's still much that's unknown about it; until recently, researchers didn't know that it passed through the pelvic region at all.

In general, sexual feeling is transmitted by:

hypogastric nerve - the uterus and the cervix in women and from the prostate in men

pelvic nerve - the vagina and cervix in women and from the rectum in everyone

pudendal nerve - the clitoris in women and from the scrotum and penis in men

Since all of those nerves are associated with the spinal cord, it would stand to reason that a person with a severed spinal cord wouldn't be able to have an orgasm. And for a very long time, that's what people with these types of injuries were told.

Dr. Barry Komisaruk and Dr. Beverly Whipple of Rutgers University conducted a study on women with severed spinal cords in 2004. They used MRI to confirm that these women could feel stimulation of their cervixes and even reach orgasm, although there was no way their brain could be receiving information from the hypogastric or pelvic nerves.

They published a companion book in less technical language with additional content.

EDIT: formatting, also bad link