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I highly, highly, HIGHLY suggest that you do one of these things...

1. Study Anatomy, Neurology and as many bodily systems as you can to understand pain/bodily functions better.
   
   
2. OR, Buy, read & apply the knowledge in this book.
   
   
3. Or... Just ask Source to coordinate with your highest self, Mother Nature and anyone (benevolent material or energetic entities) to assemble the perfect, customized "Medical Team" for your personal use and then open up a quantum channel or coning after you lie down for a while and meditate. Connect with these and set intentions for the session... amazing things will begin to happen.
   
   The book linked in the second option IS the third option, but the author is working through the "White Brotherhood's Medical Assistance Program" or MAP. Now, white light is the combined purity of ALL colors in our visible spectrum of light... not racial here in this context at all. It's about BEING made of pure LIGHT as we ALL are at some level... not duality concepts of petty racial issues. However, some people are still very sensitive to this concept so you can accomplish the SAME result in your own unique way if you like and the book even suggests this. Just use that book as a guide to connect with "higher help."
   
   The real bottom line is, your body is trying to process expansion and energetic embedding to facilitate DNA changes. It can get tough and we feel trashed and scattered but you have help if you only ask for it. We are never alone, no matter what your senses might tell you because Mother Nature IS the form that makes up the material we observe around us and she's always watching and waiting for us to work with her healers.
   
   Try to connect with the primal materials of your body as well. Think in terms of Spirit entering the Earth, Water, Wind, Fire and Heart. At some scale... you are all these things and you stand in the middle of that projection, your heart is the key to sort, organize and "implode" these energies into your DNA. The more shareable experiences you have... love, bliss, joy, gratitude... etc. the more energy you will command. This energy is gravity... attraction, spirit. As you ask for more, be ready to embed it and expand!
   
   Until your DNA is resolved and properly embedding these expansions your light body/plasma field will discharge the lower energies of creation and they often manifest as pain or discomfort. Sometimes it feels as if we are being eaten alive and manipulated by an unseen force... but in reality, it's our fear masking pain as a malevolent force. That fear needs to be transmuted into love so that your plasma field (biomagnetic field we all make) is producing a "PLEASURE body" (instead of pain) and therefore continuously broadcasting whatever shareable emotions you can produce.
   
   So... enter the bridge of the mind and ask the commander, (heart) to broadcast your pain signals so that Source can start co-creating with you to help you expand to a point where pain falls away. The speed of this process is entirely up to you but your body (ship) must be able to handle the pace so begin making connections within the body and routing that new awareness to the "command center" for processing. It's like waking up everyday with a new ship configuration, and sorting out the crew issues. It gets easier as you become adjusted and start to meditate.
   
   Note - This is purely based on my experiences... take what you need and leave the rest. I'm not advocating that one can simply "instantly" fix their body at this vibratory rate and experience pleasurable emotions and experiences 24/7... those expectations are the cause of suffering. We might get there at some point, but for now, start slow and have no expectations... just love. That's when the magic starts to kick in! Imagine you are this baby, suddenly awakening to the chaos of physical pain and misunderstood forces all around you, surrounded by "monsters" we don't understand... call for help (family) and transmute the pain into pleasure by accepting the experience and making the BEST of it... David Bowie and Jim Henson have left us MANY clues to follow. Well, one could argue... we've all been leaving ourselves clues when we work from a space of love. It's time we start reading between the lines more with expanded conscious awareness in order to see the patterns and recognize the right path for ourselves as it unfolds.
   
   Notable lyrics...
   
   "What kind of magic spell to use?
   
   Slime and Snails? (No)
   
   Or Puppy dogs' tails? (No)
   
   Thunder or Lightning? (No)
   
   Then baby said... (Your Heart, Innocence, Purity)
   
   DANCE MAGIC DANCE!"
   
   This may not make sense for everyone who reads it, but the metaphor is there for you to find. The hidden truth, not masked in fear of the unknown. Good luck to you and I wish you many a pleasurable moment as you heal yourself with love and light!

It's my pleasure, and thanks for being willing to share some of your dreams! ❣💭

My first instinct is that the house, at least in the first dream, speaks to some feelings about growing up with your mom. But it's just as likely to be about your family as a whole, and yourself in relation to them. The age of yourself in the dream indicates that this is about lingering effects of the younger you's experiences. The woman selling the house may represent parts of your mom's psyche. The subconscious tends to add an additional character for each part of someone's personality that it wants to illustrate.

Bathrooms are where we tend to our most private (and sometimes unpleasant) business, and in dreams they usually represent much the same thing. The things we don't want anyone to know or see, and aren't a part of our public persona. So it's possible that there's some family drama that was kept under wraps, or aspects of your family's life that were kept from you, or some other form of private pain that you haven't properly processed and healed from. It might be pain that you experienced as a child, and felt like you shouldn't tell anyone.

Looking out a window typically symbolizes your view of the world, or in this case, the way you looked at world in the time of your life that this dream is meant to illustrate. The broken down amusement park seems to say "Joy is gone." The colorful, abandoned houses may be "colorful" parts of yourself that you lost when you were younger, or "colorful" parts of your family life that were ruined somehow. The fact that your family is happy with the view, unaware of your feelings of dread, makes me think that you are the one who "died" in private, murdered by the stranger who might still be in the house. The fact that he might still be in the house suggests that your pain felt inescapable, and maybe still does.

The attic represents your highest thoughts, which often means spirituality. Forgotten or undiscovered parts of a house is a very common dream metaphor, and it means that there's a part of yourself that you've lost touch with. The childhood friend and her family are probably parts of yourself that you lost when you were a child, and stopped "spending time in" this part of your spiritual life as a result. It's very powerful imagery, and it's more hopeful than it probably feels within the dream! There are "hidden rooms" within all of us, just waiting to be enjoyed again. They've just been boarded up with pain we aren't ready to face again.

Please don't feel discouraged by the darkness of these dreams... It's not indicative of anything you're doing wrong, or not doing well enough. I keep recommending this book for precisely this reason! It's helped me to understand that each and every "bad" self within us isn't even bad, it's just a defensive Bodyguard self that is protecting a wounded little Child self. Children need to be able to express their feelings and receive unconditional love and support, but when that inevitably fails to happen, a little piece of that child remains stuck in those bad feelings, and a Defensive self develops to try and stop you from reliving that pain.

As with any dream interpretation, this one is subject to my own projections and experiences, so I want to stress that you are the best interpreter of your dreams! If any of that resonates, awesome, and the things that don't quite feel right are your subconscious telling you "That's not it.. Keep thinking!" I find that by pondering the interpretations that do feel right, and then thinking about them in relation to the parts that are still confusing me, things start to click into place and make sense overall.

Please don't hesitate to follow up with questions, other dreams, etc. I'm truly happy to help however I can 😊💕💕💕💕

Welcome to the fun, fringe, uncharted territory of esotericism, spirituality, and cosmic consciousness! If you’re anything like me, perhaps one day these elements were invisible to your awareness, and then the very next day these things became very interesting. It’s funny, I feel like when I flipped “on” a couple of years ago I wanted to hungrily devour any and all pieces of writing that dealt with unseen realms.

Just know that you’re going to come across an incredibly large buffet of esotericsm and sometimes it is mind-bending, other times it is questionable, sometimes it can be purposeful disinfo or sometimes info may come through what I like to call a “muddy channel,” or a person who has clairvoyant talent but carries a lot of personal distortions that influence/color the information.

Some resources that I have bookmarked:

• /r/Holofractal - I love this subreddit because it lays forth an idea of the universe being a simulation and how or why this “consciousness hologram” might exist.
  
• Rupert Sheldrake’s “The Science Delusion” TEDx Talk - This was a great 18 minutes that TEDx found too controversial to keep part of their roster.
  
• Spirit Science YouTube Channel - This is a great place to start for beginners looking at esotericism.
  
• A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle - Illuminating, enlightening, and uplifting, A New Earth is a profoundly spiritual manifesto for a better way of life—and for building a better world.
  
• Long list of book recommendations - Check out this SoulNexus post from 4 months ago. It is a treasure trove of books.

Yeah you did! Soon you'll be in wonderland!

One of the first hallucinations I ever had -- and one of the strongest, even to this day -- was of a wolf face. It was out of nowhere: one moment it was the normal tone of eigengrau you'd expect behind your eyelids, the next, a wolf was inches from my face. It was beyond clear, more real than real life. I could see every hair. Its eyes, bright yellow and full of some unearthly knowing, stared right into mine. Not just at, but into.

Naturally, I shot up in bed, gasping and punching. I was just certain that a wolf had somehow gotten into my bedroom and had come to gobble me up, and I wasn't going down easily. My mother had been sleeping next to me that night, and I woke her up with all my thrashing about. She eventually convinced me that there wasn't a wolf in the room, and I eventually went back to sleep.

I obsessed about it for months. I was a kid back then, and the internet wasn't a thing (nor were computers or cell phones or any of that stuff), so I couldn't just google around for answers. After some heavy pondering, I assumed that I had just seen a picture of a wolf in a book somewhere, that it somehow stuck in my head, and had just popped up during some kind of weird, half-awake dream. I didn't know about hypnagogia back then.

So, being the little detective that I was, I proceeded to go through every single book and magazine we owned, looking for that specific image. I knew the eyes, I knew the coat patterns, and I knew that I would know both when I saw them again. When that failed, I begged my mom to take me to the library. And then kept begging until I had been enough times to go through all of their related material. All of their natural history books, all of their National Geographics, and anything else the card catalog hinted might have a wolf in it.

As you might expect, I found no match. I did find a mention of totem animals, though, which was a new concept for a kid who had only been taught about spirituality through the (very narrow, I now feel) lens of Southern Baptist faith. Fortunately, my family has native ancestry, or my search might have ended right there.

I started bringing home library books about Native American spirituality. Acceptable, even to my very conservative father. It was "Indian stuff", so it was fine. Those were exhausted pretty quickly. Eventually there was nothing left to read, and I begrudgingly gave up the search.

Some years later, when I was a teenager, my mother took me to a bookstore in a neighboring city, and left me to my own devices while she wandered off to get a coffee (and to meet her boyfriend, I realized much later, lol). I don't know what little internal thing pushed me in that direction, but after a few minutes of wandering, I started looking for more totem animal books. I ended up finding the new age section, and everything changed.

Now, I still believed back then that everything that had been printed in a book was true, or was at least valuable in some way. I understood the difference between fiction and nonfiction, but I thought that it had to be good fiction in order to be printable, because of course agents and editors and publishers had gone over it with a fine-toothed comb. It cost money to publish things, after all, and surely a business wouldn't invest in wasteful nonsense. And the non-fiction? Well, all of that had been equally well researched, of course. They were basically textbooks.

So imagine coming from this point of view, and being suddenly surrounded by things like Taoism, Eckankar, shamanism, tarot, mysticism, and Wicca. I was in the non-fiction section -- just one long shelf over from the Bibles! The Bibles!

Magic was real? Meditation wasn't just something monks in documentaries did? These were topics that our backwoods little library hadn't even hinted existed. It was like a portal to an entirely different world had suddenly been opened up to me, a world that I had no real way of knowing about until then. Dial-up internet was only just beginning to be installed in some homes, and mine wasn't one of them. And this stuff certainly wasn't highlighted on VH1.

I wanted to learn as much as possible, but I realized that the stuff I was reading had to be innocuous enough that I wouldn't get in trouble if my mother came back and caught me with it. Also, I didn't want to go to hell, and willfully touching something like this seemed like a pretty good foot in the door. So I grabbed a book about meditation, one about tarot (though I didn't understand what the hell it was talking about and ended up discarding it pretty quickly), and a sort of borderline acceptable one about candle magic. I found an overstuffed chair nearby, as I wasn't about to be caught dead in that aisle, and spent the next fifteen or so minutes soaking my little teenage brain in this whole new paradigm.

Mom returned not long after I had gotten really into the candle magic book. Maybe she was in a good mood, maybe she was feeling guilty for the tryst, maybe the stars aligned and some cosmic finger guided her, or maybe she was just more of a hippie than I gave her credit for. Likely a little of all of those. Whatever the case, she bought me this book, with the explicit instruction that I was to hide it from my father.

This is a pretty standard beginner's book, I now realize. Nothing in it is revolutionary, and many of the things I now have enough of an understanding of to disagree with the authors' interpretations, or to disregard it entirely. But back then, I thought it was gospel. It became my new Bible -- it certainly made a lot more sense than my old one. I carried it with me everywhere, for fear of leaving it somewhere at home and having my father discover it. It became not just reference material, but also a place where I could jot down everything that I was learning. My very first Book of Shadows. When Mom went back to the bookstore for more secret infidelities, she often dragged me along, and I always dragged the book along, and copied down things from other books into its pages (they all look like this, more or less, including the inside covers on both ends).

It grew from there. I went to college, got a job, bought a house, and proceeded to fill the library with books on whatever the hell I wanted. As a result, I am fairly well-versed in the histories and beliefs of many religions (most of the modern ones, some of the ancient ones), and extremely well-versed in a select few. I have also developed a strong interest in physics, which I believe will eventually become the bridge between science and spirituality. My shelves have plenty of those books, too.

I like to think that none of this would have happened quite like it has, had it not been for that wolf. Over the years, it has been something I have returned to, some unsolved mystery that "Oh, just hypnagogia" never quite felt like the right answer to. So not too long ago, during my QHHT session, I asked about it:

> What about the vision of the wolf face?

And my higher self responded:

> That is meant to be a guide. And she has followed, in her way. It has made her ask the questions that needed to be asked.

I think it served its purpose well.

It has nothing to do with trust; when someone is using well known mathematical or physical facts, it's easy to check does the sentence make any sense. When the mathematics is WRONG and the ideas can't be checked at all - insert any random spiritual idea that is speculative - well, then you know everything is a scam...

The best books you can find on "Sacred geometry" are by J. Kapraff - "Connections" and "Beyond measure". Expensive collections of essays that usually start from no pre-requested knowledge to semi-advanced topics - the author is math. proffesor with some interesting research papers.

Other authors with many good books: Ian Stewart (easy to read), J. H. Conway (medium to advanced), K. Critchlow ( medium to advanced - https://www.amazon.co.uk/Hidden-Geometry-Flowers-Living-Rhythms/dp/0863158064/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1537534712&sr=1-1&keywords=Critchlow+hidden this one has very beautiful pictures too ), R. Penrose (advanced).

I see the maker of this is not familiar with actual angel contact. Is this about making a decision about what house to buy or if you should date that cutie? The definitely look inside yourself. Finding your place in the universe? Doing the will of the WILL that is the WILL? Yeah, I'm gonna grab the gang.

5 books of mystery

Vision and the Voice

Law of One

Open to Channel

I mean, I guess if your'e already trained to be the Angel that you have inside maybe you don't need access the pure light of being, or the watchers or watchtowers thereof. But I sincerely doubt one thinking this is pious or clean enough, done with shadow work etc to do that, and if they are, they're on team Angel/Channel already, by vibrational default.

I get what you are saying, yes, look inside. But when you find out what's really inside, you'll circle back around to the spirits. It really depends on what you want to do. You don't need Angels Archangels or Spirit guides to "feel better" or "do good". But if you are working the geometric patterns of the universe, working with the architects is a good plan.

Not bad. Lots of things to unpack there, basically just the perennial philosophy in a nutshell. (Taoism, Hinduism, Kabbalah, Hermeticism, Christianity, and everything else.)

Are any of you guys familiar with the work called "The Mirror of Simple Souls," while we're on this topic? I only recently came across this and the title seems like it may well have some relation.

Oh, yeah, I might mention that Don Miguel Ruiz wrote about using mirrors as a means to his spiritual unfoldment in his book The Toltec Art of Life and Death. I highly recommend it, although the popular opinion is that he is "arrogant" or deluded somehow in this work, and most people recommend his "Four Agreements" instead. Your mileage may vary.

I’ve used this book for exactly that purpose with my non-spiritual friends... All have really enjoyed it and gotten a lot out of it. Good luck!

10% Happier: How I Tamed the Voice in My Head, Reduced Stress Without Losing My Edge, and Found Self-Help That Actually Works--A True Story https://www.amazon.com/dp/0062265431/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_43E7BbKWK997M

If you are embracing suffering you're still doing it wrong, i suggest you read "the heart of buddha" , "a beginners mind", and "living christ living buddha" as both holistic teachers tought the same thing, but had different methods to help people obtain the goal of unlocking the door to the inner true self, conciousness, the shadow within.

Opening the hidden door in the bible: https://www.openbible.info/topics/doors

An entire website dedicated to finding the hidden door buddha talks about: https://www.buddhistdoor.net/features/the-all-knowing-buddha-a-secret-guide

If you think the bible is about "God" you still havent solved the riddle.

Maybe reading up on the ancient poet Rumi would be a nice place to look.
https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/5322592-1-one-went-to-the-door-of-the-beloved-and

You still havent found the door, youre embracing suffering rather than ending it.

Behind the door is a familure face, dont blink.

"Occasionally he stumbled over the truth but he always picked himself up and hurried on as if nothing had happened. " (Winston Churchill)

https://www.amazon.com/dp/0767903692/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_t1_1u2SBbZ1N3G98

https://www.amazon.com/dp/159448239X/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_t1_aX2SBbYPPCCYE

https://www.amazon.com/dp/1721250093/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_t1_9U2SBbJSXH2A6

This. I have all the same issues as the OP, though my weight fluctuates +- 10lbs. The gains and losses are always a reflection of hormone balance and gut health.

Books for OP:

Medical Medium: Secrets Behind Chronic and Mystery Illness and How to Finally Heal https://www.amazon.com/dp/1401948294/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_8ubVBbAM4ADPZ

Medical Medium Thyroid Healing: The Truth behind Hashimoto's, Graves', Insomnia, Hypothyroidism, Thyroid Nodules & Epstein-Barr https://www.amazon.com/dp/1401948367/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_VtbVBbRV68299

Becoming Supernatural: How Common People Are Doing the Uncommon https://www.amazon.com/dp/1401953093/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_JvbVBbMEDKDGZ

This one doesn’t go into spirituality exactly, but it was a godsend to me. It’s a well-written, easy read and focuses heavily on stress management and emotional health as a means of achieving hormone balance: The Adrenal Thyroid Revolution: A Proven 4-Week Program to Rescue Your Metabolism, Hormones, Mind & Mood https://www.amazon.com/dp/0062476343/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_DsbVBbK4WYSK5

Thanks for the fascia tip. It's a new territory for me.

I wanted to leave these suggestions from my read list. Can't say much, haven't read them yet. But they might be of interest to you.

Good luck on your goal !

https://www.amazon.com/Attachment-Based-Yoga-Meditation-Trauma-Recovery/dp/0393709906


https://www.amazon.com/EMDR-Universal-Healing-Tao-Psychology/dp/1620555514

https://www.amazon.com/Tao-Trauma-Practitioners-Integrating-Treatment/dp/1623172225

Currently reading this and really enjoying it. There’s a ton of correlation between various teachings and wisdom and it’s written in a very pragmatic way. Plan on starting some practices to access the records and start unraveling karma. [this](A Radical Approach to the Akashic Records: Master Your Life and Raise Your Vibration https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07G681W74/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_.ExtDb61RD3YQ)

Oh! In case you're interested, check out The Quantum and the Lotus, by Matthieu Ricard and Trinh Xuan Thuan.

"Matthieu Ricard trained as a molecular biologist, working in the lab of a Nobel prize—winning scientist, but when he read some Buddhist philosophy, he became drawn to Buddhism. Eventually he left his life in science to study with Tibetan teachers, and he is now a Buddhist monk and translator for the Dalai Lama, living in the Shechen monastery near Kathmandu in Nepal. Trinh Thuan was born into a Buddhist family in Vietnam but became intrigued by the explosion of discoveries in astronomy during the 1960s. He made his way to the prestigious California Institute of Technology to study with some of the biggest names in the field and is now an acclaimed astrophysicist and specialist on how the galaxies formed.

When Matthieu Ricard and Trinh Thuan met at an academic conference in the summer of 1997, they began discussing the many remarkable connections between the teachings of Buddhism and the findings of recent science."

https://www.amazon.com/Quantum-Lotus-Journey-Frontiers-Buddhism/dp/1400080797

Cool, thanks. I take Rhodiola, Ashwaghanda, Bacopa, Ginseng, and I take a blend of 6 different mushrooms. 2 of which are listed in that page you linked. I have Velvet Beans (mucuna puriens) but haven't tried those yet.

Here's the blend of mushrooms I have. I actually haven't started eating this one yet because I'm still [on my older] (https://smile.amazon.com/gp/product/B073DZ1SF8/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o04_s02?ie=UTF8&psc=1) batch. This one was the first one I tried, by the way. They're all good.

This is what I'm using. Has 6 species of mushrooms including Reishi. Only about a week in so far but I do feel more relaxed I guess.

"After the ecstasy, the laundry."

https://www.amazon.com/After-Ecstasy-Laundry-Heart-Spiritual/dp/0553378295/ref=mp_s_a_1_6?keywords=jack+kornfield&qid=1568506437&sprefix=jack+ko&sr=8-6

Self-Empowerment through Self-Hypnosis: Harnessing the Enormous Potential of the Mind https://www.amazon.com/dp/0738719285/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_PDDwCb97AY75B

I couldn't recommend this book more. Real hands-on tools for use in your day to day life that you can put to use immediately. As well as the science behind everything you can do that affects your mood/happiness.

Came to the comments to suggest this book. Here's a link to the Amazon page if you're feeling lazy.

I feel you. Lately it seems if you resolve some negativity, within or without, the cyclical Universe is arranged such that it just dumps another problem in your path. I believe the focus is not to turn away entirely from those situations and people who are generating negativity, but try to be available to help. Yet this is a delicate situation as being present to enliven 'the darkness' means that you are exposed to be taken advantage of, and pulled under by the weight of the world - a process that does not hesitate to convince you that its problems are somehow your problems. In psychotherapy this is known as transference.

Ram Dass has a book that explores some of these issues, titled "How Can I Help?"

Society is in the habit, via propaganda, of rendering the value of the person as an instrument in the betterment of the totality - and thus your soul is sold as a functional mechanism that exists to serve the broken parts of 'The Machine'. It may create a heresy out of any voice or signal that assuages our anxiety-default that something must be wrong. Politics, economics, and much of bureaucracy exists to fix problems, and its success depends on keeping people in a low-grade static of worry about the future. To truly be content in the present may as well render you an alien, as the prototypical zeitgeist is a fight against entropy ("Star Wars").

Spirituality and loving-kindness is focusing, remembering, sharing, and dreaming forward with a celebration of what is not broken, what is not dark and destructive, and what is far removed from the blemishes of time. It can feel that there is not much space for these energies except in ashrams, seminaries, temples, synagogues, or other retreat spaces... still, we can bring our love with us and radiate that kindness everywhere. Perhaps the evolution is appreciating the body as the temple, nature as the sacred, and each other as reflections of the living heart. Then the artificial walls of fear created by misbelief, distrust, and ignorance will dissolve in the presence of those higher frequencies.

Ezra Pound wrote, "THE TEMPLE IS HOLY BECAUSE IT IS NOT FOR SALE."

At this point, selling out is believing the negativity. I don't buy the circus show or parlor tricks of hate, of guilt, of shame, of violence. Instead: I remember love. I remember peace. Om shanti, shanti, shanti