(Part 3) Top products from r/SuicideWatch

Okay, I understand, so what you might want to do is contact your local Mental Health Association, and I'm more than positive that they'll be able to help you.

If you get no help from them, then you might want to try St. John's Wort in order to help with balancing the chemicals in your brain.

Keep trying the coping techniques that I've suggested, and also try other ones that you can, and if one works, then keep at it. You have to gain control of your mind. Yes, it's hard, but with a little success you'll slowly but surely achieve this.

I'm also going to suggest that you do some research on some local group therapy sessions, and that can be a huge help to you as well.

As you can see you do have lots of choices, and you are not alone. Work towards this goal: I don't want my past to affect me negatively in the present, and the future. I know you can do it, and it starts with you finding something funny to watch, or listen to, or read. Make it your mission to find something that will make you laugh everyday, and really concentrate on it, and you'll find that your mood will slowly, but surely elevate all by itself without meds.

Concentrate on your children as well, and watching them play will bring some joy into your life as well. As Dennis Leary said, "Kids are like drunken midgets."LOL Too funny!

Let's address your coursing, and I'm going to be starting university in about a week as well, and I've been using these memory techniques for years, and they will help you with your self-esteem, and of course your grades as well. Go to your local library, and get this book: Super Memory Super Student

You've tried unhappiness, you've tried sadness, you've tried anger, you've tried depression, so now you need to try happiness, so just take these small steps, and you're going to gain control of your mind, and your life.:-)

Read like, the first page of each of these books.

http://www.amazon.com/Power-Elite-C-Wright-Mills/dp/0195133544/

http://www.amazon.com/Corporation-Pathological-Pursuit-Profit-Power/dp/0743247469/

http://www.amazon.com/Realm-Hungry-Ghosts-Encounters-Addiction/dp/155643880X/

http://www.amazon.com/Globalization-Addiction-Study-Poverty-Spirit/dp/0199588716/

Look at how many people voted in 2014.

http://www.nytimes.com/2014/11/12/opinion/the-worst-voter-turnout-in-72-years.html?_r=0

http://bipartisanpolicy.org/library/2012-voter-turnout/

"Some 93 million eligible citizens did not vote."

http://www.nonprofitvote.org/documents/2013/09/america-goes-to-the-polls-2012-voter-participation-gaps-in-the-2012-presidential-election.pdf

Look at dem numbers.

You are the next generation. Great tv series, btw. You are part of the hope that casts a light upon the world.


https://openlibrary.org/

Also, sorry, skimmed through your post history to perhaps glean what ails you, but perhaps your anxiety/stress stemming from these surrounding issues are increasing the occurrence of a lack of proper airflow/air intake during sleep, and disrupting the process of healing that's supposed to occur during the night, leading to long-term damage to your heart?

Your parents love you for a reason, and you shouldn't feel that resources or money are even a factor in their considerations. They love you, period, and you'll have plenty of time to repay your family/society/whoever you want just through the act of living well.\

Also, there's a lot of technology coming around the corner where organ fabrication/replacement/etc. is going to be a very common/real thing, but that's not to say that you can't still work with your doctor to mitigate symptoms/risks for now.

Take care, friend. Life is a strange journey indeed, but it can be rewarding if you let it be.

Edit: I would say that it's a nice poem, but I cannot agree that the best way to get back at those you feel have slighted you is to cease one's own existence. That would be tantamount to a full surrender. You still have some fight left in you, don't you? Fighting back is the best way to give the bird to all the turds.

Yeah, sorry, I got that; "instantly" was a bad word choice.

As for how to tell them, I think "lying" is describing how you've been coping (or trying to) rather harshly. It's the nature of trauma that we disconnect from ourselves, and you have been disconnected from yourself, so of course how could you be connected with them? There are always "layers" of truth and if you haven't been able to share all the truth about yourself with anyone, that's not your fault, it's a mark of how messed up you've been. So I wouldn't say "I've been lying to you all these years" because I don't think it's true!

With the family, I might start with something like "I haven't been able to talk about what's been happening inside me until now..."

With your counsellor, it's absolutely normal, especially in cases where there's trauma in the background, for the extent of self-revelation to increase gradually. A good counsellor wouldn't expect you to disclose the most sensitive things until you feel ready and able to trust them. So s/he should be expecting more and deeper "stuff" to come out over time.

As for what could help you, there are different things, but I might as well start with what helped me. Mostly it was finding the right therapist, someone who I really felt always truly had my interest at heart. Sometimes I violently disagreed with her suggestions, but she honoured and accepted my disagreement. Although I have to admit she always turned out to be at least mostly (and usually dead-on) right in the end. She was a Jungian analyst, but ymmv, there's lots of classic research to suggest that the individual is more important than the methodology. It took me a few years to realise that it was actually trauma that I was dealing with, and then (with my analyst's blessing) I also got some EMDR, which was a very helpful adjunct.

Some books that also helped me:

Invisible Heroes by Belleruth Naparstek

Waking the Tiger by Peter Levine

The Myth of Sanity by Martha Stout. She also wrote a book called The Paranoia Switch which is specifically about recovering from the collective/social trauma of 9/11 but as I am not American I have never got around to reading that one. But I very much admire her work in general. Her book "The Sociopath Next Door" led me to discover the truth that I had, in fact, been raised by a sociopath. And, btw, I can tell you with great confidence that you aren't one.

The Inner World of Trauma by Donald Kalsched. Kalsched is a Jungian analyst and he references some Jungian psychological concepts so if you're not familiar it might have a bit of a learning curve.

I totally understand the fear of the unknown after death. I was raised atheist so I often battle with those fears. It led to anxiety, which I now take medication for, but I also found a few things to help me. I love cats and animals, so I read icanhascheezburger.com and cuteoverload.com every day, or when I feel like I need a pick me up, I also read a lot and do crafts, which can help my mood. It sounds all very cheesy, but honestly these things help me when I'm feeling anxious.

If you want a humorous book to read, I highly recommend "The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal".... it's pretty hilarious, and thought provoking. find it here

I just reread my last post to you, and I apologize for any of the stuff that doesn't make sense. 3 hours of sleep + nightshift/dayshift + not proofing = pwnmyownface

Knowing (not believing) that all things happen because of some causality is the only way the natural universe makes sense. And I'm not trying to make an argument that what you experienced was not genuine. And while I have had a couple of mystical/spiritual experiences, I know that those experiences are only possible due to natural processes, such as the "neurocircuitry" we have in our heads. We have the neural machinery to experience spiritual type feelings, of all kinds. I'm taking this from books like Why God Won't Go Away.

Now, while I don't believe in all of the opinions of the authors, I do believe in the neuroscience of it all. Other creatures whose brains are relatively simple like lizards or flies probably are unable to experience something as nuanced as that. Fear, and anger though, probably (not sure about the fly actually, didn't study those in school)).

I've had a couple of different kinds of experiences, and I also know there are a couple that I haven't had before. For example, I've had friends say they actually felt god, or a godlike entity. I don't think he was religious, so that was very interesting and I wonder how I would react to the same experience.

If you are comfortable with telling me, what were those experiences? Mine were pretty benign, like say one of my friends who thinks he is going to die in another year or so. I don't think it'll happen, and I hope it doesn't. It just "can't".

I'd say there are a lot of different types of heroes. I don't have a book of classification on them. The hero in that book is a non hero type of hero. He's not an anti-hero, but the author seems to intentionally make him the least hero hero that could've heroed. Other than the fact he's somewhat of a decent guy, he's a waste of life (at least to those who don't care about him).

The kind of hero you're talking about is a kind of transformative hero. It sounds like it might be the kind of hero you'd like to or are working to be.

I do have a question about a concept, though. Why is it if something exists, that it shouldn't suffer pain?

I agree with you that I don't want to be defined by my pain, though what demons I do have, I'd rather get them on my side, and laugh together. There would be no demons after that.

No...my psych guy I just see once a month. So I've seen him 3 times now, and he's screwed up a few times in that short time (one time put me in the E.R). I don't know if its the meds, but there are some things I feel like he could be doing better as a doc. I don't know what he goes through to provide service for me, but I really don't see it.

I'm not on anything that could do that, I'm starting out on new meds.

> It's quite interesting how little we understand the human brain.

Neil Degrasse Tyson makes an interesting point that Astrophysics and nueroscience are similar fields - in both cases, the list of things we don't know is longer than the list of things we know.

There's a book I read last year by a neurosurgeon at U California called On Being Certain: Believing You Are Right Even When You're Not that covers the huge role the unconscious plays in decision making. It touches on both how little we know about the brain, and on how much more important external inputs are to the process of thinking than we normally account for. It's a good read.

> I felt that some of the descriptions of the mechanics between the emotional and rational mind were intuitively wrong, and my intuition is almost always right, but I couldn't figure out while I was there why and how it should be.

Now this is interesting. What sort of things felt 'off' to you? I'd love to figure out where the seeming disconnect was for you, I've felt the same way for a number of techniques which appear tangentially related to DBT.

>I found the experience of understanding alcoholism for the first time to be extremely enlightening.

How was it described in the class?

Thank you :] But I didn't mean to make that last reply about me... We're talking about you here, because you're important!

Maybe you should consider doing something for the sake of doing it-- for You. You're right, it is easier to keep "your mind stimulated" and having time alone may seem scary, but creating a space for yourself might ease the pressure of feeling like you're not doing anything.

My favorite books are these: http://completevca.com/ haha don't laugh! They provide an escape that my job/school doesn't allow for. Biographies are hard for me to get into! Have you tried mystery novels? I recently read this book: http://www.amazon.com/Snowman-Jo-Nesbo/dp/0307358658. It was so good! Rarely do I get so caught up in reading!!

How about music? Do you have the chance to listen to any on the way to and from work?

Hey man, fellow artist here.
Firstly, yay crazy artist! I don't mean to make light, but I want to encourage you to embrace what seems to be a natural inclination. I'm not sure whether you are into art history, but have you thought of psychic automatism (automatic drawing)? Your post is also a bit like 'automatic writing'. I fucking love that shit! Its not high and mighty dude, it's bloody generous, and that's what artists do.

Also, for an artist, can I recommend a book called The Zen of Seeing. Maybe at kinokunya? If you're short of $ PM me and Ill send you a copy. It was very useful for me in getting the rushing thoughts and disappointments and whirling spiraling guilt and wildness to slow. down. and. breathe.

And you're in Japan! Lucky Fukr ;)
Hang in there mate

There is an essential part of life and meaning that has been hidden from the modern Western life, especially for men.

In the past, life included tasks that allowed meditation and connection to life and the universe. Chopping wood, clearing land, building and fashioning useful implements with your hands. In the East, art and simple daily household chores were part of meditative life. Many of those things are now relegated to the poor, foreign factories and powered appliances.

I don't know the answer and a bunch of people will chime in and say go talk to someone, etc. but I think part of the answer is that small things, possibly tiny things are what gives life meaning and noticing and celebrating those are part of the key to changing the outlook.

There is stuff like this, it might make a connection:
http://www.amazon.com/Awareness-Opportunities-Reality-Anthony-Mello/dp/0385249373

Hi guy here... hope you don't mind my feedback. One suggestion is to think of women like puppies. Completely responsive to the tone you set. If you set an insecure seeking approval tone then they'll shy away. If you set a comfortable and in charge of things tone then they'll usually respond differently. Here's a book that describes some differences between the way men think ad and women think. It's from a Christian author but I don't recall it being overly religious. I'd suggest a secular book on the same topic but I'm just not familiar with one. I recommend it, and filter the religious portions if that's not your bag.

Also, realize that you are by no means the only guy to have trouble with the opposite sex. Don't be so hard on yourself. It's challenging. Here's a much more lighthearted way someone describes how to get a girlfriend.

This is the kind that I got.

There are different resistance levels. I got green, or "firm". They aren't fucking around with this stuff. You really gotta squeeze the hell out of it for it to move. I might have gone the next step down.

They have stuff like this too, but I think it can be difficult depending on the hand size.

There are avenues to try, buddy. Give it a shot. Even a slight improvement is worth the work.

If you're interested in pursuing these ideas further, you might like the works of David Benatar and Arthur Schopenhauer.

think about this:
how one behaves in any situation is a function of what emotions they are in, what is happening, and how one explains these to oneself. then the person acts in a way consistent with their theories about what's true.
you may be at a disadvantage when you act on self-deprecating emotions and self judgement. you may very well be misinterpreting things, therefore, expressing yourself in words is not always be a good idea.
also about apologizing, there's a book called Get Anyone to Do Anything: Never Feel Powerless Again.
Corny title, does not do the book any justice. There is a chapter on apologies, maybe 5 pages long, puts things in perspective. There is a wrong way to apologize and be apologized to.

Agh, my link to the stories was bad, but here's a link to the amazon page which lets you read a bit of them if you're interested.

Your problems stem from nothing besides being extremely intelligent. You have been underusing your mental ability and walked down a dark back-alley of the mind, thinking far too deeply about problems in the world that we have no control over and have unsettled yourself. I've been there myself.

Interestingly enough, the other people I've met who have done this tend to be philosophy students. They've been to the metaphorical edge of existence - and they came back changed. Sometimes depressed (such as yourself and perhaps me), sometimes with a wild abandon to do and experience everything with no regard to risk (such as one girl I met recently and am completely failing to get to know because she's disappeared off around the world backpacking and has no idea when she's returning.)

Solution #1: Read "The Way Of Zen" (iTunes audiobook). I am completely serious. At worst, you'll find some of the anecdotes funny. At best, it'll show you a school of thought that the Chinese developed over thousands of years to cope with the weight of existence.

Solution #2: Do more sports. Decide to become a champion at _____, with the goal of competing in the nationals / olympic games. By the time you get there (or fail), you'll sit back and realize that you're in the best shape of your life, have had some wonderful adventures - and are looking forward to what's next.

I saw free counselors through my University. I also saw a counselor at my high school.

Depression has a huge effect on anxiety and vice versa. Mental illnesses tend to be interconnected. At the very least, if you flat out refuse to get professional help, read a few books on GAD and CBT. This is the book I used during my treatment: http://www.amazon.com/Mastery-Your-Anxiety-Worry-Treatments/dp/0195300017

You can also try visiting /r/anxiety.

I didn't even know I had problems with anxiety until I spent 8 months physical ill with mysterious symptoms. After many hospital stays, countless tests and seeing several specialists, we finally found that the link to my physical illness was stress and anxiety. The mind has a weird way of trying to find outlets for anxiety.

I know it sounds almost impossible and for different people maybe different things work. For me, sometimes I hate myself and don't know how anyone could love me or how I could love myself.

These sad moments for me can always be dispelled by stopping thinking. May sound like a cliché but I read this book Power of Now at a time of real depression - I was starting the process of recognising how destructive my drug-taking was and how many people I had hurt because of it. Either way this revolutionised things for me.

I have met wonderful people over the past few years, and little snippets of conversation have remained with me and further help me to become less judgmental with myself and less severe. But always it comes back to the premise - stop thinking. Whenever I do so, especially coupling a good walk with no thinking, I can stop the process of negative self-talk which is the root of suicidal thoughts.

One of the people I loved died earlier this year after a suicidal overdose. A few times a week she'll come into my mind's eye and I'll have shivers thinking of her. Find silence and you'll find gentleness. Find gentleness and you'll find a love for yourself which will spill into the world around you.

You are right. Life is suffering. While you are suffering there are two awesome books about suffering you should pounce on and read ASAP. They are NOT self-help books. They will not cheer you up except for the grim satisfaction that you are not alone in seeing the world the way you do, but I think you will appreciate how exquisitely these authors describe suffering in themselves and the world. I'll bet you anything that they can surpass even your bitterest thoughts about the world and people. Anyone who has ever suffered the way you do shouldn't miss the chance to read these books about suffering while suffering. Notes From Underground by Fyodor Dostoevsky kicks ass and Journey to the End of the Night by Celine is one of the bitterest critiques of mankind and of life in general ever written. Let me know if you ever read them. They fit the way you're feeling now to a "t". Don't miss the chance to experience them now while you're still suffering because suffering can pass or go into remission and you'll have lost the opportunity to go into the deepest darkness created by man. Guarenteed.