Top products from r/askGSM

We found 15 product mentions on r/askGSM. We ranked the 13 resulting products by number of redditors who mentioned them. Here are the top 20.

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Top comments that mention products on r/askGSM:

u/CedarWolf · 4 pointsr/askGSM

Some general life advice... being 15 can be rough. Hell, being a teenager at all is rough. I'm sure you've been through a sex ed class, but if you haven't, I'd suggest you pick up a What's Happening To My Body? Book For Boys, and maybe The Bisexual's Guide To The Universe, if it won't get you into trouble. If you don't have a library card, get one. They're free and easily the best investment you can make. No one can ever take your knowledge from you.

Basically, right now, it's wise to put off dating and wait until you hit late high school or college, when people are generally a little more stable and a little less crazy. Hormones make folks do all sorts of stuff, and some of it will be a bit regrettable in the long run. Don't worry so much about getting your 15-year-old self laid, start setting the foundation to getting your 18 to 25 year old self laid. You'll have much better prospects and more freedom then.

If you're into reading, read. Expand your mind, expand your vocabulary. You'll need it for the SAT and for college. It will help your social life immensely if you can carry on an interesting conversation. They say a man who reads lives and dies thousands of lives, while the man who doesn't read lives only once.

Similarly, you're probably just starting or just about to start puberty, which means you're going to get taller and more muscular. This is a great time to get fit or get toned. Even just walking around your neighborhood in the afternoon will help. Exercise improves your mood, which can be really important during the teenage years. Also, if nothing else, you'll need those leg muscles and that stamina for fun things later. Hiking is excellent.

If it hasn't already, your metabolism is probably going to spike and you're suddenly going to be able to eat everything. You will probably feel like you're eating Mom 'n' Dad out of house and home. This is normal. You will probably get much taller, and your body will get bigger. Your face will break out and it'll feel like you're fuzzy all over. This, too, is normal. Don't worry about it, don't panic, and don't stress about acne. It happens to everyone. It's one of life's great ironies that at a moment when our bodies are full of hormones and all sorts of friskiness, that we tend to look our worst. That's normal, don't worry about it. You're growing and becoming something greater, so take advantage of it. Focus on preparing and making yourself really shine a few years down the road.

If you've got a hobby, put some real time into it. A good hobby or two will really help improve your life; it's important to have something you can feel passionate and capable about. Similarly, try the different clubs in school. Some stuff is really pretty cool, even if it may seem a little weird or dorky at the outset. For example, I joined the Model United Nations on a whim when I was in high school, and it was one of the best experiences I ever had. I still miss it, over a decade later, and it's part of what spawned my interest in global politics.

If you can, start setting aside a little money now. You'll thank yourself when your first car blows a head gasket, when you're trying to wrangle your first bills together, or when you're trying to figure out how many meals you can stretch out of a 24 pack of ramen. Your family is supporting you right now, try to appreciate it while it lasts. There's a personal finance merit badge that you need for your Eagle. It may sound boring, but pay attention to that; there's a lot of skills there that you will need in your near future.

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And some sex advice, while I'm at it. Condoms: They have expiration dates, and they generally keep for roughly three years. They're one of those things it's better to have and not need, than to need and not have. Depending on the state you're living in, you may not be able to enter an adult shop until you're 18 or 21. That's okay. You can get condoms and lube at most pharmacies, and sometimes the grocery store. If you're going to have penetrative same sex, you're going to need lube, especially your first time. Your first time is assuredly going to be awkward, both with a male and with a female. Take your time and don't rush. Don't sweat it. It's awkward for everyone, just keep talking to your partner and listen to what they have to say. Being a giving lover is a skill worth having.

When it comes to toys, etc, don't use anything stiff or hard on your rear. Start small, get something medium-soft, and stay clean. It helps to use a condom on your toys, and "too much" lube is almost enough. Try to stay away from anything homemade, too. You can get stuff online pretty easily, and you can usually order stuff with a prepaid gift card that acts like a credit card, such as an American Express card. You can also get these at grocery stores. Similarly, a small tool box with a padlock can be a handy investment. I'm not encouraging you to hide or lie to your parents, just that sexual stuff is personal, and it's generally no one's business but yours.
Clear your browser history.

Also, porn makes everything look better than reality. That's kind of the point, and they can sink all sorts of money into making their actors look amazing. Don't stress about it. No one's perfect in real life.

(Facebook's the same way. When you look at other peoples' facebook pages, you're seeing their highlight reel. Meanwhile, you're living through all of your behind-the-scenes stuff, and life can be messy. Don't compare yourself to others, we're all living through the messy stuff as best we can. Be compassionate, a kind word goes a long way.)

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Let's see, what else...? Brush your teeth, wear deodorant, and go sparingly with the cologne. That stuff is strong, and if you can't smell it anymore, don't go reapplying it in the middle of a dance or giving it to all of your friends like I did. We must've had an aspen-scented cloud around us, and we never knew. :P

Your parents can sometimes feel like big jerks when you're a teenager, it can feel like they don't understand and they never will. It's true, it's been a while since they were teens, and they may have forgotten what it's like. However, your parents care about you and they know a lot, so learn what you can. Learning how to cook is an excellent skill and it will help you out a lot. Cooking your own meals will help with your health, your budget, and your ability to impress a date. Learn what you can now, while you've got the freedom to do so.

As an afterthought, don't forget that there's a ton of people in real life and here on reddit whom you can ask for advice. If you're embarrassed, you don't have to give your name and you can fake up your details if you need to. Hang in there, it's all going to be okay. I know it's cliche, but that whole thing about "It Gets Better"? Yeah, it really does. Sometimes we spend so much time and effort trying to find something, that when we stop looking, we'll turn a corner and it'll slam right into our face. Life's funny like that. Don't panic about your situation, try not to compare yourself to others. Work on you, first and foremost. You're stuck with yourself for life, so make sure it's a good one. =\^.~=

tl;dr: I took the time to write this, please go back up and read it. Use your brain, use your common sense, trust yourself, and start preparing now to be awesome when you're starting out as an adult. That first step out on your own can be hard, and there's a lot of stuff that may take you by surprise. Be Prepared.

u/kinsey-3 · 9 pointsr/askGSM

Nothing wrong with asking this question - you seem to sincerely want to learn about bisexuality and a the spectrum of attraction.

I would suggest reading a good book explaining bisexuality & issues called "the Bisexuals Guide to the Universe". It does a better job of explaining attraction than I would.

I often hear people ask "how you can be attracted to both genders?". I guess for me it just makes sense. It is akin to asking "how could a guy be attracted to girls with big boobs and also want to date a flat-chested girl" , or "how could women be attracted to rough & rugged/messy men and also like neat, clean & well dressed men". The answer is that men & women can be attracted to a diverse range of people with different qualities from the opposite sex, and there is nothing wrong with that.

I describe it like this to some people

> "Some days you feel like drinking red wine, other days you feel like drinking white wine. Some people only stick to one variety, but at the end of the day, both get you drunk".

So basically if:

  • people who identify as gay, are only attracted to same-sex; and
  • people who identify as straight, are only attracted to opposite sex,
  • then why is it so hard to understand that some people could be attracted (in varying degrees) to people of same-sex, as well as people of opposite sex.

    Bisexuality identification is a wide range, that includes people with 5% same-sex attraction to people with 95% same-sex attraction, so it is different for a lot of people who fall in this category. Some acknowledge it and never act on it, others repress it and pretend to ignore it, and some embrace it by having relationships with both before settling on the right partner (not the right gender).

    I hope that this sheds some light on the issue for you
u/ichibanmarshmallow · 3 pointsr/askGSM

Hello! I'm non-binary, and this is the explanation I tend to give people when they ask what it means:

(mind if I assume you're a woman?)

"OK, so you know how, when you were little, you knew you weren't a boy? Like, someone could've given you any number of reasons as to why you are (but you play sports! But you're loud! etc), but at the end of the day, you'd fall asleep knowing in your gut that you're not a boy? And that holds true now- there's nothing I can say to you that'll make you change the way you look at yourself when you fall asleep or look in the mirror; you'll know you aren't a guy.

"I'm the same way: I know I'm not a guy. I know it just as assuredly as the fact that that I'm not a girl. You know you're not one, and I'm just the same. I just also know I'm not the other."

If you're looking to better understand experiences, feel free to pm me. I'd also really recommend checking out the play The Naked I: Monologues from Beyond the Binary (or, if you live near Minneapolis, check out a performance!). It's a great book about all sorts of trans people who aren't just transitioning FtM or MtF.

u/Neemii · 4 pointsr/askGSM

Honestly, as convenient as it is to point to studies showing brain differences and claim its a biological difference, there are also studies that indicate there isn't much brain difference between men and women to begin with. I don't believe that being trans is determined solely by biology, even if that does turn out to be a factor for some people.

The real truth is that no one is 100% sure why some people are trans and some people who present and act almost the same way are not. There's no way to tell who will be trans and who won't.

Think about a quiet person, who is sitting on their own in a busy coffee shop. They could identify themself any number of ways - maybe they are shy and anxious and wish they could reach out to people. Maybe they are introverted and enjoy being there on their own. Maybe they are just waiting for someone. But their behaviour looks the same to an outsider regardless of their internal identity. Only they know the truth of the matter.

Gender identity is a combination of many factors. It can be related to sex, sexual orientation, or behaviour for some people, and for some people it has nothing to do with any of those things. Gender identity is the personal relationship that you have to your body (i.e. to your biology), your relationship to the way other people view your body as a gendered body (i.e. to society's ideas about your assigned gender), and your relationship to your own thoughts and feelings about gender (i.e. how you have incorporated ideas about gender from society). If you grow up and all of these things align in a positive way, you are cisgender - you feel that your internal thoughts and feelings about your gender, the way society sees your gender, and how your body looks to you all match up. If one or more of these things don't gel with you, you might be trans or you might just play around with gender.

It's really something that most people have to explore for themselves to figure out - while there are some trans people who just inherently know they are actually a different gender than people say they are from a young age, there are also many trans people who have to experiment until they find out what works best with them and then base their identity off that. There are cisgender (non-trans) people who experiment with gender presentation but still feel most comfortable identifying as the gender they were assigned at birth.

Basically, what it means when someone says they are 'male' or 'a man' means that they identify as and are a man. Just think about the immense amount of difference between cisgender men. There are feminine cisgender men, masculine cisgender men, androgynous cisgender men, cisgender stay at home dads, cisgender businessmen, every possible variation under the sun. Almost half our population is made up of cis men. What does it mean to belong to such a huge population? Well, it's dependent on what that man's culture says being a man is, and how that man relates to that, and how that man relates to himself. It's entirely determined by us, whether we are cisgender or transgender.

(edited to add links to an article about Cordelia Fine's research and the amazon page for her book, Delusions of Gender)

u/Xolani · 1 pointr/askGSM

My mum was like this at first when I told her. You'd be surprised how quickly they can come around with the right information. And you'd be surprised, they need their support groups too, sometimes, when they're faced with news like this.

If you're in America, look up your local PFLAG group. In the UK, FFLAG. Elsewhere, I don't know what groups you can look up but similar organisations are all over the world now, based on the PFLAG model which started in America.

Consider getting them this book. I got it for my mum when I told her, because it was obvious she was having a hard time dealing with it. She's since come around.

Anyway, good luck.

u/wintertash · 4 pointsr/askGSM

Books:

Out of the Past: Gay and Lesbian History from 1869 to the Present

Making Gay History

Documentaries:

The Times of Harvey Milk

The Celluloid Closet

Unfortunately I don't have any better trans* and genderqueer inclusive titles off the top of my head, but I'll keep an eye out.