(Part 2) Top products from r/asktransgender

Ok i'm back now,

I treated myself to this for being a good girl ;)
https://www.edwinjagger.co.uk/edwin-jagger-pearl-effect-pink-de-razor.html

&
https://www.edwinjagger.co.uk/edwin-jagger-lady-s-shaving-brush-pink.html

&
https://www.edwinjagger.co.uk/edwin-jagger-aloe-vera-shaving-soap-65g.html

Went a little fancy here but you can get the same results with a similar setup.
These work wonders if you need to do the face.

The thing i like about this is i can through blades and it won't cost me much, as in i bought 100 blades for $10USD off amazon* which is cheap compared to conventional cartridge razors. This means that since i will be going through them quite quickly if i do large things like legs kinda frequently, i can use a new blade each time if i like. However i try to use them a few times to truly get my moneys worth.

The shaving soap will last forever like years, well a very long time and so will the Brush as well as the DE razor itself. The soap is nice and natural but can be a little tricky to lather up into a big heap quickly so that's why there is shaving cream. E.g https://www.edwinjagger.co.uk/edwin-jagger-aloe-vera-shaving-cream-100ml.html
I might get one like this in the future but will try out my free testpot of the stuff that i got with the rest of the items before i lash out and buy the tub.

I use a rectangular bowl to swish out the razor once i have passed it a couple of times over the area being shaved. I also have a nice 900ml baking bowl to create the lather in.

I just now did my first waxing of my underarms because shaving was not doing a very good job as in i could still see the follicles under the skin. I can tell you that waxing my underarms may have just been the most satisfying thing i have ever done and the sharp then warm pain was.... nice too ah the squealing ;) not like the horrible epilator, omg.
I just used some disposable wax strips that i got on sale like 1/3 the price of all the stuff in the grocery stores work pretty good might have to use them on some other areas that epilating is out of the question atm. I plan on stocking up on these as well. Don't use them on the face tho.

My first shaver like a year ago was one of the Schick Hydro ones and i didn't really know what i was doing and obviously didn't know that they get blunt (silly me) it was snagging on the hair and hurt like hell but i thought that this was how it was. lol

I always recommend shaving in the shower. You can even use hair conditioner as a substitute for creams or soaps or even as a pre shave to soften up the hairs just apply wait rinse then apply what ever cream or soap then shave. I would recommend using a bath glove/exfoliating glove to cleanse the skin before shaving. You may also want to look at some form of antiseptic like tea tree oil or aloe vera as well as a good moisturiser to apply right after shaving.

• https://smile.amazon.com/Astra-Platinum-Double-Safety-Blades/dp/B001QY8QXM/ref=pd_bxgy_194_img_2?_encoding=UTF8&refRID=6B59GHGZS4Q9NA8HP53M&th=1
  
  
  
  
  Omg i need to make a post about this, i might compile a whole bunch of my comments that i have done in the last couple of days (check comment history) on shaving and do a series of posts to help out peps using the search bar on this sub.
  
  Any other questions please just ask, hope there isn't too many errors in there :)
  
  
  

I’m so sorry you’re dealing with all this! ive been down the same road (hell, im probably not even halfway to figuring everything out). I was like an uber christian before figuring out my gender, now I’m still a christian but a lot of my values have changed. it was VERY scary when that happened because i questioned like everything i believed, because my beliefs prior mirrored my parents beliefs (super conservative, christian. i was also extremely sheltered). So if you want to talk, I can relate haha.

As for your friend, I’m so sorry, I have a falling out with my previous best friend who is very transphobic. I am most likely going to lose him, but not sure yet. (we’re going to “talk” in the next couple days, but it’s a long story hehe). So relatable there too.

You have friends here okay? You’ll get through this ❤️

as for your battling with God, r/TransChristianity is a good resource, also the book Understanding Gender Dysphoria by Mark Yarhouse is an excellent book to read, and can be a very powerful information source to give to Christian friends who want to understand. I also found it extremely helpful for sorting stuff out with God for myself.

Also feel free to PM me and rant or vent, whatever you need. All the love and hugs ❤️❤️❤️😊

Hey there. I hope I can help. I'm kinda a nerd about sex toys. First I have a great site for you to check out for toys. It's my favorite to check reviews and such. It's Smitten Kitten. It is a woman owned, feminist sex store. All their products are safe for the body, and they have all kinds of things. As far as prostrate massages go I would try this. It's a toy from Aneros designed just for the prostrate. That should help with working on the "hands free" orgasm. I would also look into getting a dildo as well. This is the one I'm looking at. Yes it is expensive, but it is really fun and really well made. As far as the Magic Wand goes, as some have said it is amazing, and I agree. For me, I do use it on my penis, but like it is a very awesome clit. It is really fun. I would approach it from that direction because of your dysphoria. Also as ImKira recommends, having panties on could help with the dysphoria, but it will also cut the intensity back. One of the main compalaints of the Magic Wand is that it has two settings, "Oh my god" and "Time to take a wall out." A inline dimmer switch can help with that. I love that on Amazon that the dimmer is listed as bought together with the Magic Wand. Again I hope this helps.

Certainly!

PREFIX / DISCLAIMER: Well, our therapy sessions are openly "Bible-based" which means there is a very minor slight religious base to it, but only very rarely does religion come into the session. But they are extremely liberal sessions where no concerning thing mentioned is even an issue. My therapist says, "You could say you punched a random person and I would not flinch." When I told my therapist about my crossdressing her first immediate question was "What kind of female clothing do you like?" I love my therapist.

With that said: she would not present a book that was remotely against anything we bring up in therapy. (Our therapist has 2 beloved transgendered siblings in her immediate family, if that means anything.)

THE BOOK: With all of that said, the book she handed us seems to be (based on description and reviews) a Christian perspective of how the reader can understand and support and love someone going through transition. It's very PRO-Transgender, and the author seems to offer even Biblical support for accepting and embracing transgender. Here is the book has good reviews

There are soooooo many non-religious Transgender books on Amazon as well. I am having a hard time picking one to read first!

First, the determination of your inherent gender has very little to do with adult hormone levels. So supplementing testosterone will have little to no effect on how you identify gender wise aside from maybe intensifying your feeling with regard to it. What you need to do is start learning as much as you can. An identity crisis like you are going through takes time to unravel as your brain learns to process your feelings with regards to new information. Do your research, take a look at some of the better "starting out" books out there like True Selves. Just keep learning about it all and look for what you really want.

In the first couple months of my transition I spent most of my time trying to reconcile my intense fear of persecution and the incredible need to express myself as a woman. As you learn more about the whole process you kind of resolve all that by realizing the reality of what it is like to be yourself. I would recommend seeking professional counseling from someone you are sure of being competent to treat transgender patients. See if you can get recommendations from local LGBT organizations.

Also another personal experience, which may or may not relate to your own. I didn't really have an intolerable level of difficulty with my gender identity until I started significantly masculinize around the age of 24 or 25. I started working a really heavy labor kind of job and started to look less androgynous which really inflamed my dysphoria. I never had to confront my gender issues up to that point because I could tolerate it all for the most part due to my feminine body.

Don't be distracted by the "accepted transgender narrative" each person's experience will be totally different. Look at who YOU want to be, not what everyone else expects you to be. Whether it is a trans girl like me, bigender, genderqueer, agender, or some unique new expression that truly fits you. The overriding positive feeling that comes from my transition is a sense of freedom. Every once in a while I realize that I can do whatever the heck I want regardless of gender roles and no one can say squat about what I "should" be. It is so much fun \^_\^

Mango Sage Tea shaving soap (like a cream, but takes a bit more effort). The moisturizer is actually a hydrating cleanser, I just think of it as a moisturizer. Not really sure why.

For the sake of completeness (and at the risk of sounding like a corporate shill) the cartridge razors I use are Dorco Pace 4 (you can get them in bulk from Amazon, or rebranded from various sites) and the razor blades I use for my safety razor are Astra Superior Platinum. Razor blades are pretty specific to your skin, though, I went through a few different types before finding ones that work well.

EDIT: I also wash my face with a warm damp washcloth both before and after, and keep the razor blades wet as much as possible by briefly running them under warm water. The second one especially really seems to help.

If you come to these boards often, you know that our first response is going to be to get a good therapist. You have also already heard advice to listen to yourself, confront your inner shame, take small steps, yadda yadda.

It's all very true, and it's the most important advice. But to you (and all the other lurkers out there) I want to address something you mention only in passing:

> every time I come to these boards I always feel like such a sham.

You are gender variant, you belong here.
I can't say that enough, because I felt exactly as you did for years. Heck, I was almost a year into HRT, had basically finished electrolysis and had more or less been living 90% full-time for months, and I still felt overpoweringly apprehensive about posting to a board or forum for advice or empathy. There were real trans people there! I was so alone for so long, and stayed away from exactly those who would be able to understand.

Read Serano, Bornstein, Greene, Bergman & Stryker. Even those you don't identify with will bring you closer to the community. Respect the genderfuckers; by distorting normativity they stretch comfort zones to fit us with room to spare. Love and respect trans men; they will defend you with the aggressive passion denied to us by our own insecurity and systemic transmisogyny. Be fucking proud to associate with some of the strongest and most amazing people you will ever meet (virtually or in person) in your life.

But for God's sake don't pull away because you don't think you belong. No matter where you end up going or who you end up being, we consider you a part of our community regardless, and you'll always be welcome.

(I usually throw in a lot of caveats that I don't speak for everyone, that my posts are just one woman's opinion and YMMV. In this case though, I do speak for all of us, and I'll call out anyone who disagrees.)

• Educate yourself. Read up on transgender history,
  science, current medical standards, etc. There's tons of trans podcasters, Youtubers, bloggers, comedians, Twitch streamers, etc. There is no one "right" or "typical" trans life, but you can get a sense of the range of experiences out there.
  
  
• Educate other people. Gently correct other people's misconceptions or push back against their transphobia. Stand up for trans people in your life. One advantage cis allies have is that it's not as personal to them and so they can be more patient and sympathetic when helping others understand ideas that are new to them.
  
  
• Give money to trans people. A lot of trans people live in poverty due to employment/housing discrimination, lack of family support, and high medical costs. Donate to someone's surgery GoFundMe. Help organize a fundraiser. Hire or recommend a trans photographer/accountant/computer repair person/whatever. Support trans-friendly local businesses.
  
  
• Help push for political change. Join a protest. Order pizzas or a box of coffee for a protest. Speak up at a town hall meeting. Knock on doors, make phone calls, get out the vote for trans-friendly political candidates. Getting even one person elected has a huge impact!

I got the DESS permanent hair removal device. It works amazing. I also use this electric razor that works great. It's only around $15 and it blades are good for like 6 months for me. In combination it's good enough after a couple laser sessions. I would also recommend getting professional laser hair removal for the face done at a clinic, their lasers are more powerful. Typically laser sessions are $100-$250 a month, or total around $1500-$2500.

After I came out, my dad (conservative, Catholic, watches Fox News) bought this book, and he said it helped him:

http://www.amazon.com/Understanding-Gender-Dysphoria-Transgender-Psychological/dp/0830828591/

I also bought him a copy of True Selves as a general trans reference, and gave him a two-page letter to read. (I came out to him over the phone.)

I'd thought my dad would be the person I'd most likely lose in this, but he accepted me without hesitation (later texting me, "we love you no matter what"). I wish you similar good fortune when you come out! :)

Hitachi wands became famous because it's basically the strongest vibrator on the market. Some women (both cis and trans) need that power, but many can't handle it. It took us a bit of trial and error to find a vibe that worked well for my wife. We finally landed on the We-Vibe, but it doesn't really work for those of us with outies.

If you can't afford to go toy shopping, start by grabbing a wand speed controller (or if that's still too expensive, try a dimmer switch). This will let you slow the wand down so it's more rhythmic than hammering.

If you CAN afford to go toy shopping, Oh Joy Sex Toy is every girls best friend.

First of all - the courage and resilience your daughter had to face in the fear of rejection and discrimination to be open and comfortable who she really is. *Touches my heart*

I have worked with both transmasculine/feminine youth (under 21) for years and found this book to be very helpful for both the youth and the parents in psychoeducation and opening a dialogue with questions that may arise: https://www.amazon.com/Queer-Transgender-Resilience-Workbook-Orientation/dp/1626259461/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=lgbtq+trans+resilience&qid=1571163905&s=books&sr=1-1

Love wins. And the world needs more moms like you...

Sounds like there's only one option left! You can grab a good safety razor from amazon for about $20, and one hundred platinum-coated blades for under $10.

It's the same way for me, honestly. My doctor thinks it's a combination of the ssri and dysphoria. I have been on various SSRIs for years without issue though, so I don't know, I think a lot of it is mental for me. In my case the dimmer helps a lot. I found one pretty cheap on Amazon. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0000BYEF6/ref=cm_sw_r_awd_JhDDub1BHQ664

> how did you overcome feeling a host of negative emotions if and when you started presenting privately

For me the negative emotions were from two sources:

(1) Frustration from my masculine features conflicting with feminine clothes.

This is hard, especially if you don't want to go full bore HRT. It tends to vary over time, though, so if presenting femme is not working, maybe don't force it? Do it when it makes you feel good.

I found that moving to androgynous clothes helped. One of the first things I did was order these:

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00C11AS9O/ref=oh_aui_search_detailpage?ie=UTF8&psc=1

Wearing something more colorful and feminine under my clothes helped. Those are also good for tucking, should you choose to do that. I also switched to skinny jeans, because they felt more feminine, but no one was the wiser.

Also, don't worry if your early experimentation with things like makeup are atrocious, because you will improve.

(2) Shame at being transgender. We all have it to one extent or another, because that's what we've been taught by the culture around us.

That one's hard to stamp out, and it takes time. What helped the most was going to a good support group with lots (40+) other trans people (both men, women, and some nb people). When you hear people from all walks of life talking about the same things you feel, it kind of cements the fact that you were born this way and that there is nothing wrong with it. Meeting trans men helped me extinguish any feelings of it being some kind of fetish and embrace the idea that some peoples brains don't match up with their genitals.

> Do you also have experience with low level HRT?

I don't. I started transition at 44, and found I was eager to make up for lost time.

>How do cis people view trans men?

As females who think and act like females, but are only putting on a "male" act. You view us as females who look like males, or as women who think we're men. You might say "socialized female" but the result is exactly the same.

You make assumptions about our personality based on our genitalia ("trans men are more sensitive because AFAB!"), you make rude and invasive comments about our bodies, reference our genitalia in apropos of nothing, you're generally clueless about our experiences and mostly don't care to really learn.

Moreover, you don't read our narratives and are totally uninterested in our political needs. Honestly, that's almost a good thing, because in my experience trans women don't really handle trans male problems with that much sensitivity or tact.

How many trans women have read Whipping Girl but have never even heard of The Last Time I Wore A Dress or Becoming a Visible Man? It really is like we do not belong to the same community at all.

You're pretty much only going to get anecdotes, because no one's cared to study it, but everything I've heard (and tried) has shown that it is VERY important to get Bioidentical Progesterone, since non-bioidentical can make your mood much worse. I've been doing a single pump of this spread around my chest and wrists daily for a couple of months now, and I've gotten:

1. More energy. Not as huge as starting HRT, but it definitely helped.
   
   
2. A bit more emotional stability... though that's been contracted in recent weeks by a significant increase in stress while also upping my HRT dose.
   
   
3. Fingernail strength restored - they're no longer so brittle that they break with a mean look.
   
   
4. Libido increasing back to pre-HRT levels... though it took a few months to get there. Unfortunately, it also means I'm getting unwanted random erections.
   
   
5. Rounder Breasts - went from cones to a much rounder shape. Have also grown quite a bit, but I started only 6 months into HRT, so some of that's probably just HRT itself.
   
   Exact doses are hard to determine... you probably don't want that much, though. Large amounts of hormones don't tend to increase the speed of anything.

One other thing, I've been reading Jamison Green's book "Becoming a Visible Man" and I highly recommend it. He's a trans guy and a great role model for all trans people.

http://www.amazon.com/Becoming-Visible-Man-Jamison-Green/dp/082651457X

I have a home laser device, and holy wow has it ever cleared me right up.

Now im a lazy lady. so i skip weeks when i shouldn't. but i only did 2 runs on my legs, and went from needing a shave every other day, to needing one every 2 weeks. and the hair is spotty AF. on my arms and chest, neck, back, and cheeks.

i have lasered my face 4-5 times now and it has slowed the growth, but i still have a solid shadow. it is defiantly getting thinner though.

https://www.amazon.com/Silkn-Flash-Hair-Removal-Device/dp/B00HX27AM4

Link to my device

If you want a history that focuses on the U.S., Susan Stryker's book Transgender History is good.

If you want a world history, there isn't really one single book that covers specifically transgender history in the whole world. The best one is Leslie Feinberg's Transgender Warriors, though it has some problems.

If books are on the menu, True Selves is a good one, though slightly outdated http://www.amazon.com/True-Selves-Understanding-Transsexualism-For-Professionals/dp/0787902713

I came out when my youngest niece was 5 years old. I gave her a copy of the book I Am Jazz. I have also heard the books Jacob's New Dress and Annie's Plaid Shirt are good.

The one I use is a Panasonic, but it's like 10 years old and discontinued. When it dies or I can't find replacement blades anymore, I'll probably grab one of these: https://www.amazon.com/Panasonic-ES2207P-Electric-3-Blade-Cordless/dp/B0018A32XS

Oppositional sexism.

Also, read Transgender Warriors for a lot of really interesting history regarding trans* people and discrimination against trans* people in the Western world.

My safety razor
My blades

For leg hair I use an electric razor, but it doesn't do well on faces or sensitive areas (because of the trimmers) so I'm still looking for a solution there.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0018A32XS

This pamphlet from PFLAG might be what you’re looking for. Our Trans Loved Ones

I also have some books I actually bought for my kids but I plan to show them to my parents too.

Red: A Crayon’s Story

I Am Jazz

Its your choice, not your dads but hiding is a bitch. Better to know where they stand and be open than avoid them and hide.

Plus, they may come around. Your dad's predictions may be wrong. I certainly predicted my dad would not be supportive but he was supportive but was the first other than my wife and kids I felt comfortable presenting around.

If they're not supportive, welll... that sucks but at least you won't hide. You can then work on resilience skills and stick up for yourself in a nice but firm way.

Your dad has issues with having to deal with them. He needs help with resilience too. If you want to work with him on practicing what to say when conversations become uncomfortable including ways to change the subject or stand up for oneself, maybe consider doing that before coming out.

Here's a good book for practicing resilience:

https://www.amazon.com/Queer-Transgender-Resilience-Workbook-Orientation/dp/1626259461

Searching the major trans forums finds most girls have had luck with home "laser" (really IPL) systems.

The one I've heard the most about is actually the Flash n' Go by Silk'n, probably for its low entry price.

Edit: having had actual (diode) laser treatments (and finding them quite effective), I can imagine that home IPL systems would produce similar results. The principles are the same, after all, it's just the power level that's different.

Pdf that might just be viruses: https://www.e-bookdownload.net/search/the-queer-and-transgender-resilience-workbook

Same Book for money: https://www.amazon.com/Queer-Transgender-Resilience-Workbook-Orientation/dp/1626259461

Second book on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Gender-Quest-Workbook-Exploring-Identity/dp/1626252971

Sakkas BS0210PL Women's Seamless Stretch Panties / Boy Shorts - Assorted Color 6 Pack - Solid - One Size https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00C11AS9O/ref=cm_sw_r_awd_A66iwbTNG8JAF

If you need a video on how to tuck (NSFW) go to vimeo and search there. There is one video on there that really helped me.

-edit- here is the video https://vimeo.com/95701148

Don't forget to get a dimmer switch extension cord so you can control the power and sound coming from it, it can be quite loud.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B001GS6OB4/ref=ya_st_dp_summary

Also http://www.amazon.com/Transgender-Warriors-Making-History-Dennis/dp/0807079413 , which isn't US-specific but has a lot of US-based content.

http://www.amazon.com/Transgender-History-Studies-Susan-Stryker/dp/158005224X

This one.

https://www.amazon.com/Facial-Feminization-Surgery-Guide-Transgendered-ebook/dp/B004LB49GK/

Wait, so something like this isn't real? https://www.amazon.com/Paraben-Free-Progesto-Life-Bioidentical-Progesterone-Menopause/dp/B00EB0AQA4/ref=sr_1_1_sspa?ie=UTF8&qid=1509636400&sr=8-1-spons&keywords=progesterone%2Bcream&th=1

Progesterone is in the ingredients list?

I used this book to explain it to my daughter:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/0803741073/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_S52pzb5HFC33K

She was 10yrs old last year when we talked about it

Link thats what i use, it's BI

btw, that link 404's, here is a correct link: http://www.amazon.com/Sakkas-BS0210PL-Seamless-Stretch-Panties/dp/B00C11AS9O

I have this one, but I've only used it a couple times because it really fucking hurts. I can only really gather the courage to try it a few times every year. Overall it works for its purpose, but I think it would be more manageable if I toss some sugar and lemon juice into a pot and try out that sugar waxing first and maintain with the epilator.

According to at least one book I've read, transgender people were recognized in a number of civilizations that would predate the Greeks by a few thousand years. They tended to be widely recognized and respected among communal, matriarchal and hunter-gather type societies. It was the emergence of patriarchy that forced the division of people into male/female binary categories for reasons of power, inheritance and such in patriarchal cultures, and that's when the repression of trans began. Hermaphroditus came to the game very late...

laser will take 8 months to a year, I have the same problem and I just said screw it and getting my whole body done. The only thing I can shave with that doesn't give me razor bumps is this electric razor here:

http://www.amazon.com/Panasonic-ES2207P-Ladies-3-Blade-Curves/dp/B0018A32XS/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1421337717&sr=8-1&keywords=electric+razor+female

I use an Emjoi AP-18.

https://www.amazon.com/Emjoi-AP-18-Emagine-Opposed-Epilator/dp/B001GS6OB4

It does take getting used to using. As far as the chest goes, I won't lie that it does hurt quite a bit the first few times.

He'd be my go-to had I the money; next would be Ousterhout - he wrote the book.

Spiegel is generally well reviewed, but oft accused of not being very "aggressive" in his surgeries. And he's pricey. His understudy practices in Florida - I've seen one of his patients in person and she looks great. Being new, his prices are more competitive.

I've read enough bad about Z that he's off my list.

At my price point the sweet spot is The Facial Team. It's a pretty big decision, really, especially if you're only going to get one shot at surgery.

Search the boards here and at Susan's for opinion on FFS surgeons. And buy that book so you've some idea what FFS entails, and so you'll have a handle on what questions to ask.

Honestly, it's been 2 years and they are no closer to accepting you. If you've been constantly fighting, it ain't going to change unless they realize they're going to lose you. Logic won't magically convince them because they will always come up with one excuse or another.

This stuff probably won't change their minds, but for shits and giggles, I'll paste it.

"The Transgender Child" is also a good book for parents. Under $20 off amazon or whatever.

True Selves is another http://www.amazon.com/True-Selves-Understanding-Transsexualism-Professionals/dp/0787902713

"Families in TRANSition: A Resource Guide for Parents of Trans Youth" is a PDF they can download.
http://www.ctys.org/about_CTYS/FamiliesInTransition.htm

Recent article on youth (which at 18, you're not) - maybe the suicide statistics would help convince them, but then again... lots of people would rather have a dead kid than one of those queers, they're just too pussy to admit that. http://www2.macleans.ca/2011/08/12/when-boys-would-rather-not-be-boys/

PFLAG can be helpful, but they don't sound like folks who are willing to go to one.

If they've threatened you with violence, that doesn't bode well (but record these instances with dates, etc on your cell or whatever, if you're in the USA, they can basically deny you FASFA grants/loans until you're 25 unless you ask to be declared independent, however you need a lot of evidence to do this.)

I'd personally fuck with them and have them blow $30,000 on a reparative therapy camp (and then write a book about my experiences) but I'm kind of odd and masochistic.

I had FFS relatively early in terms of hormones. Some people say wait 3-4 years for hormones to take their full effect. But I think if you're primarily looking to change bone structure, there's no reason to wait if you know what you want. I had my FFS a few days after my one year hormone anniversary.

It wasn't quite like your situation. I had been full time for about 4 months. I posted a thread about it here if you're curious.

Now, your specific questions. Would I recommend FFS? Absolutely. It personally has really changed my life. Gave me a peace that nothing else has. It not only made passing a ton easier, effortless really, but it made me not hate to look in the mirror anymore.

Now, do I recommend it to someone living as male? Well that's more complicated. I don't think FFS alone, if you still have short male cut hair, still have facial hair, a male voice, etc will be enough to get you gendered female. The problem is not being read as a woman.

The problem is, how on Earth are you going to explain it to your coworkers? You need to be off work for 3-4 weeks. Even after that, your face is still swollen for another 2-5 months. I went back to work after 3 weeks or so, but I definitely looked like I had been through some serious shit. Everyone at work already knew I was trans, so it wasn't a huge deal. But if you're still in the closet, you'll need to find some way to explain things.

You save money for it just like anything. Work your ass off and cut expenses to the bone. Work overtime, get a promotion if you can. Take a second job, whatever. Live with roommates. Cook your own food. Hell, I sold my car and now ride a scooter around.

$10k is probably a bit low for this. If you need forehead reconstruction, you'll probably also need to do a rhinoplasty at the same time to make the curves of your nose match the face. I did full FFS: brow, forehead, nose, chin, and jaw with DiMaggio. The bill was $18k for the surgery, plus another $3k for flight, lodging, and food. Total trip cost of $21k or so. If I had done only the upper face, the total would have been probably about $15-16k.

I suggest you do two things. First, I recommend anyone interested in FFS to join the Yahoo FFS group. They're probably the single best source for FFS resources on the web. Lots of people with a great deal of experience on there. IIRC there are even some people who did FFS prior to social transition.


Second, you might want to read Dr. Ousterhout's book on the subject. He's kindof the grandfather of FFS, and this book is a really a medical standard.