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I highly, highly recommend good ABA. Good is the key part because ABA done wrong can be very damaging and abusive to the child. ABA done right can be absolutely amazing. I was afraid to start ABA when it was recommended for my 17 month old, but it's the absolute best form of therapy he's had. When therapy is done with the goal of erasing all symptoms and signs of autism, then that therapy, whether it be Floortime, RDI, ESDM, ABA, or something else, it will always have the potential to be abusive. When therapy is done with the understanding and acceptance of autism, then it will be not be abusive when applied correctly.

When my son was 17 months old, he had numerous severe delays and it helped tremendously with that so that he's now newly 3 with less severe delays. I see ABA as the therapy that's allowed my son to really shine so that autism is more of a benefit than a deficit.

In order to find good ABA, grab a copy of An Early Start For Your Child With Autism. It's the easy to understand parent guidebook for the Early Start Denver Model, which is a form of therapy developed specifically for children under 5 with a focus on under 3. The book teaches you the basics of ABA so that you can do it yourself at home. The whole form of therapy is play-based and child led, so that you both enjoy doing it. It's been amazing for my son.

In addition to that excellent book, the people behind it, from the UC Davis MIND institution, also put out this ADEPT parenting series. Part 1 focuses on how to teach skills. Part 2 focuses on behavior management. In my opinion, they put the modules in the wrong order. If you read the book and watch through the entire modules, they explain how skills can't develop properly if the connections aren't first made. If your child's sensory needs aren't met, then it's very hard for them to learn. They also explain why stimming shouldn't be discouraged, why punishment rarely works for autistic children (and what to do instead), and how to increase communication skills.

The book An Early Start has information on how to find a good ABA therapist, but I wanted to emphasize these key points:

1. Ask autistic adults about their experience and use that to shape what you work on in therapy.

After talking with the autistic adults in my son's life and online, we don't force eye contact. Instead, we do face contact. Many autistic adults have explained their extreme discomfort with eye contact and eye contact isn't necessary for a successful life. Face contact is important for a variety of reasons, but there are non-forceful ways to increase face contact. If you want your child to look at you more, then figure out ways to make your face fun and interesting. Your child should be looking at you because he or she wants to look at you, not out of need.

Similarly, stimming. Stimming used to be discouraged and children were punished for stimming. Now, the experts agree that punishing stimming is a huge mistake. In the ADEPT series, it is compared it to shivering. Punishing a person for shivering doesn't stop them from being cold, it just removes a mechanism of them dealing with the cold.

Recently, my son suddenly started stimming in his preschool classroom. His ABA therapist recognized this as a sign of discomfort. She got out a little emotional chart and asked him if he was upset. When he said he was, she asked what he was upset about. It turned out that he heard them vacuuming in a different room in the school (he hates vacuums and has super hearing). She helped him with his fear of the vacuum (asked them to wait to vacuum and showed him videos he liked on youtube to help him calm down). This had the function of stopping the stimming, but the stimming was not the problem - the vacuum was.

Her goal with stimming is not to stop the stimming, but to remove any discomfort that is cause the stimming. Stimming is the coping mechanism.

Sometimes stimming is just done for fun. My son will sometimes stim things he likes, so I'll join in with him. Sometimes he'll want to do a joint activity with me, other times he prefers to be alone. I try to follow his lead, which brings me to...

2. Follow your child's lead.

ABA should be fun. For children under 5, I recommend the Early Start Denver Model and Joint Attention Mediated Learning. Floortime and RDI are two other models designed for older children that are centered around following your child's interests in order to build connections and teach skills. You can check out Floortime and RDI now for a few suggestions for young children, although I personally found ESDM most useful when my son was under 3.

If your child is not interested in learning a certain skill, figure out how to make that skill fun and interesting for your child.

My son used to be obsessed with vehicles. We took him on trips to the fire station, car shows, and followed garbage trucks around. We taught him the parts of my car and the names of different vehicles. We counted vehicles, we sorted vehicles by colors, we built structures for our vehicles to drive on, etc. Lately he's been obsessed with vacuums, so I bought toy vacuums, got broken down vacuums which we take apart and put back together, we 'read' vacuum manuals together. By showing interest in his world, he's much more interested in doing things I suggest.

3. Play to your child's strengths.

My son is a lot like his uncle when it comes to how his autism presents. It gives him some amazing gifts. We work on his weaknesses, but also play to his strengths a lot. For my son, that's an incredible memory, super hearing and vision, and an innate understanding of complex systems.

If he's struggling with something, I'll often make up a song because he loves music and can remember songs even if I only sing them a few times. Putting on his shoes was a real struggle. Rather than just keep doing it over and over until he got it, I thought about what would make it easier for him to remember the steps in order. A song.

Similarly, I taught him how to count to 10 in Spanish through a song with the numbers. He loves it and will often sing it to himself.
All people have certain areas where they do better compared to others. Focus on these areas and figure out how you can make the skills you want to teach easy to learn.

As the behavior experts say, Hawking can communicate perfectly well despite the fact that he can't speak with his voice. On the other hand, there are adults who can speak with their voice, but are terrible communicators. What communication method allows your child to best be understood? What communication method allows you to best communicate with your child? Use that. My son is now fully verbal, but we still use picture schedules and songs with certain routines.

4. Ask yourself, "Is this important/necessary?"

My son used to elope. After seeing the amount of autistic children who die from eloping, I knew that it was vitally important that we reduce eloping. Similarly, functional communication is important and that's something we still work on.

But tying shoes? My autistic brother still struggles with tying shoes, so his wife bought him those special shoe laces that don't require tying. For my son, we use velcro. It's not important. You can be a functional adult without tying shoes.

Eye contact? The autistic adults in my life focus on lips, noses, eyebrows instead. They do fine without it.

Again, talk to the autistic adults and figure out what is necessary. A cure is not necessary. Being neurotypical is not necessary. I have zero desire to turn my autistic son into his twin.

I wrote a post with more details on how I found good ABA therapists here.

On facebook, I'm in some great evidence-based groups for autism. One is "Evidence-based autism support". Others are "Woo-free spd (and other neurological disorders", "evidence-based autism parenting support group" and I'm in a few nonreligious evidence-based groups as well.

ETA: To use an example of something ABA can help with that an OT, ST, PT, etc might miss is in establishing joint attention with other children her age. My ABA therapists recently discovered that my son is quite social and was making play invitations to his 2 year old/early 3 classmates that were being missed. I hadn't observed this myself because us adults are very good at recognizing when a child is giving a play invite and his twin brother is naturally interested in his play. His ABA therapist had observed him approaching other children with toys, but speaking near them, not to them and not making sure that they could hear when talking to them. His brother will establish joint attention as part of a play invite, even going as far as grabbing your face if he feels you aren't listening to you. My son would just give the invite, then get discouraged and walk away when the other child failed to respond.

With the help of his ABA therapists, we've been working on teaching him joint attention, and how to establish joint attention when making a request of others.

Hi!

>A bit disjointed, no direction, I just have to let some out.

This has happened to all of us. It will change.

> Our first indication of something needing addressed was the fact that he wasn't talking. When I express this to people close to us, they seemed to think oh he must be using baby talk or can say momma and dadda. Nope. None of that. Not even assigning nonsense words that we could decipher. I personally did not think this was a big deal, I didn't start talking until 3. However, tons of people around me told me to talk to our PCP and get him speech therapy. Ok, what could it hurt?

> Our PCP informed us that she was going to set up an evaluation. I assumed a basic inventory of his health and hearing, blood tests, etc. What I did not expect was a full battery of experts. The day lasted nearly 6 hours. 5 different experts, MDs and PhDs, and many other initialed experts among them. I was pretty impressed with their demeanor, much of the time was spent "playing" and observing. Questions and directions. I did not realize from what looked to be pretty simple process how much info was gained and being interpreted.

> The indicators. At first, it seemed ridiculous. I'm certain based on my son's demeanor they had arrived at their conclusion before much evidence was present. Examples, when playing with cars, the minute he rolled a wheel, they asked us if he does this often or with other objects. Nope. Just loves rolling cars about-like a normal kid! They informed me that he did not like stacking blocks-he preferred lining them up. Ok.... He stacks them all the time at home. Last doc we visited with seemed especially keen on his habits, noting he only chose the cars, ignoring everything else. Asked us if he flaps, nope. Upon wrapping up, he gathered the cars (very gently, not in a mean way) and of course our son gets mad. "That's flapping!" An immediate reaction, I was surprised this wasn't "normal" for a two-year-old? Doc said it with such authority I didn't question it.

Your evaluation was performed in the best possible way. Our twins were evaluated along that procedure (ADOS-2 probably). Since your kid doesn't talk yet probably you will need a second evaluation in the future. Our ST made us wait before evaluating our kids (like or pediatrician, he also suspected at least one of them had ASD). His approach was to produce a communication channel before the evaluation to have a better assessment. After the long evaluation, kids were diagnosed with 18 and 22 on the ADOS scale. This put them above the Asperger range, but at a mostly functional range. Our neurologist (the head of the evaluation team) told us that this evaluation was their last. No further evaluation was needed.

> On the drive home, my emotions ranged. First, these guys don't know my boy. It seemed like they made a big deal about everything. How could they have gathered enough info to make such a huge diagnosis???

Because they are trained, they know where to look. The other positive point is your boy is very young so all the symptoms are there to catch and no bias because of age is present. So it is easier to pinpoint the level, and produce a set of 'countermeasures' through early intervention to make him feel better about the world and himself.

> Eventually, I realized, I do know my boy. I know him deeply. He reminds me of myself. Him playing with little pieces of carpet in a room full of toys, me sitting down in the outfield playing with grass instead of playing T-ball. Intent on his particular toys, as I was with my Legos. In his own world. Throwing the blankets off at night, perhaps this is a skin sensitivity? Banging random objects, is that stimming? This and more, many more little signs...they add up.

You know a part of him, but being autistic there is another part that is hidden behind a veil and you can't access to it and he cannot explain to you that yet. One book (recommended here) that I found quite enlighten is The Reason I Jump: The Inner Voice of a Thirteen-Year-Old Boy with Autism. You can read it in an hour.

Also, I also told the psychologist interviewing my wife and I that my kids remind me of myself as I shared some traits with them. She told me, they were the ones being evaluated and whatever similarity was not relevant to them. Thus, don't overcomplicate yourself, try to build from your shared traits upwards to guide him into a fulfilling life.

> And I well up. I love my boy. He isn't a set of signs or indicators. How do they have the temerity to think they can assign labels or know what he is? I know WHO he is. And I worry. About programs that aim to "normalize" him. About teachers who may not give him the benefit of the doubt or the opportunity to excel. I worry that a diagnosis may hold him back and instead of building him up they'll remove his essence. Family who sees him differently.

Acceptance will come, but this doesn't mean you won't demand them to excel. Yet, you need to know his boundaries and be very aware of his strength. I wrote a lot about my kids here. Every kid is different, so you have to look for yourself.

Our twins are 4 y/o now. They started ST at 2.5, then moved to an inclusive school (50%ASD-50%NT) with ST, OT and PECS oriented classroom. This environment has helped a lot to develop their spoken language, feel more comfortable around people, and communicate their needs. You NEED every therapy available NOW.

Our neurologist told us the following: "if you do nothing now, they can go to a regular school without problems. They will adapt, but you won't have the best version of themselves. If you support them in every possible way, go to [this type of school] then you will drive your kids to become the best they want to be.

But for you, doing this will be the hardest five years of your life. So, you need psychological support and live a healthier life. You need to be there, every hour for your kid now."

So we took the second option.

Our kids, can speak now (not with the fluidity of a 4 y/o) and communicate most of their needs. Their tantrums and quirks are mostly contained (they appear when they are really tired or anxious). They are very clever kids, that love numbers, words, and music.

They excel at numbers: count from 1 to 30 (understand the symbols and their relation to quantities) in Spanish (mother language) and English. They can do basic sums (without finger counting) and now they are learning subtraction. They also have a strong interest in words: know the full ABC (some letters from the English pronunciation), read some words, understand words in English (colors and shapes; also many animals), and now they are learning to construct words from syllable.

We are using iPads to strengthen these areas. I bought them Tiggly when they were very young (two years ago) and this fourth birthday (yesterday) they received Osmo's Genius Kit. They loved the Tangram because puzzle-solving is one thing they love to do a lot (and this is in another level).

> I don't know the future. I only know that we will exercise agency in every decision along the way. We will advocate for rights and opportunity. We will be better than our parents. He will not be called "doofus" or "f-ggot." I'll hug the sht out of him but never hit him. He's our boy dammit, I love him, and that's all that matters.

Nobody knows​ the future, even us 'normal' people.

What you feel about parenthood is what I felt, even before knowing they had ASD. The thing you mention may even happen to a regular kid with special interest, whether has ASD or not. In our special case, we need to learn about ASD to approach to learning in the best possible way for the mind of our sons.

Be patient, It will be better.

EDIT: grammar.

This book has a whole chapter on incidental teaching. Downside: it is a bit pricey, and might feel kind of textbook-y, but I think it's worth a skim at the very least. It's written by highly-regarded folks in the field of applied behavior analysis who spend their lives working with kids with autism and covers choosing among treatment options, different teaching strategies, and is aimed towards parents and those new to intervention.

Full disclosure: I'm a professional in the field of behavior analysis who works with kids with autism. Other interventions may be worth checking out but right here, right now, ABA is the best bang for your buck. Science, national and local government agencies, health insurance companies, and a whole bunch of kids with autism and their families agree.

I think this site could help you filter your assessments of treatment decisions parents may talk to you about. Or could be something to offer them as a resource.

One thing I often hear, and that I've seen borne out in my work, is that every kid with autism is different. Just like any other kid without autism, a kid with autism will have his or her own unique package of stuff they are great at and stuff they're not so good at. Kids with autism tend to have a different basic pattern of which stuff is which, but otherwise there seems to be a lot of variability. So in your googling, it might help to keep in mind that people's accounts of their lives with autism or their child's or student's life with autism represent points on the spectrum so often described.

Best wishes for you, the kiddo, and his family! Hang in there!

I have limited experience, but I would recommend two things:

1 - Start learning everything you can about ABA and as fast as you can. It should only take you about 6 months to a year to acquire a working understanding of ABA and to be able to tell the pros from the posers, and every child with autism who has these needs should have guardians who have invested the time in educating themselves (I understand how little time you have, but it will save you A LOT of time in the long run). Buy and read cover-to-cover this: http://www.amazon.com/Applied-Behavior-Analysis-2nd-Edition/dp/0131421131 and then start reading articles on your topics of interest from here: http://seab.envmed.rochester.edu/jaba/jabaindx.asp You will only have access to the slightly older articles in JABA for free, but there should still be plenty there. Also, don't be intimidated - studies in ABA rarely require any training in statistics or advanced math, and so it is just a matter of gaining a solid understanding of the designs and principles outlined in the Cooper book and thinking critically. If you have any questions, feel free to message me.

2 - Find someone who doesn't just have a basic understanding of ABA, and pay them for their services. There are feeding clinics that specialize in this precise sort of thing. For example, they actually know what they are doing here: http://www.feedingdisorders.kennedykrieger.org/?gclid=CNDqjJXrnbgCFcSf4AodLWMAEA There are a large number of tactics they can use, such as slowly mixing less preferred food with more preferred food (1 piece of corn mixed in with the cut-up hotdogs, then 2 pieces, then 5, etc.), contingently presenting or allowing access to preferred items or activities when the client eats (while they are eating their favorite toy is dancing around the table, and then immediately disappears and the child is ignored when they stop eating), etc. Which tactics should be used depends on the client's community of reinforcers (which things they like) and many other variables - it can be difficult to determine which tactics are best without assessing the client. I would recommend calling the child's case worker and asking them to find a suitable program (they are are there to support you, and so if you need the help it's their job to provide it...)

You can do it! Kudos to you for putting in the effort to proactively search out the help your kid needs, rather than wait until it becomes an even more serious problem! You are saving EVERYONE a lot of misery by doing so, and unfortunately many people do not.

https://www.theatlantic.com/amp/article/406180/

You are not defective. That would imply that being neurotypical is better. I don’t believe that, except that society’s constructs make it easier to be neurotypical.

One of the coolest guys, who designed the guitars for the rock band Kiss was autistic with Asbergers. You have hidden talents and ways that your brain can organize information that are superior to a neurotypical. You just have to find the way that works for you and train yourself to do it. These books are Asbergers related, I’m not sure what kind of autism you have but they are a good read.

https://www.amazon.com/Look-Me-Eye-Life-Aspergers/dp/0307396185

https://www.amazon.com/Journal-Best-Practices-Marriage-Asperger/dp/1439189749

Good luck and feel better!

I like anything that Catherine Maurice is involved in. I started out with her memoir, which describes her journey into creating a home-based ABA program for her children during the 1980s when such programs were not available hardly anywhere, and it also talks about her struggle weeding out ineffective interventions, like holding therapy. The memoir wasn't a perfect read for me, as she is very religious, and I am not. However, it really gave me a lot of hope and courage to fight for my children.

The other book I have from her is this one:

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0890798710/ref=cm_cr_arp_mb_bdcrb_top?ie=UTF8

It's not light reading, but it's made me think a lot about how I do things at home and helped me to make subtle changes in my behavior that have improved my children's behavior in return. If you wanted to implement a more structured approach with the book, it definitely shows you how to do it.

I know a lot of people on this forum advocate for the early start Denver model and DRI/floortime. It may be helpful to learn about a combination of different approaches, and see what works best for your kiddo.

I'm glad you're wanting to help, but I'd really encourage you not to do anything with the puzzle piece. It's used as a symbol to mean that autism is a puzzle that needs to be solved, which is really hurtful. Here's a good blog post about it. If you do a bit of googling, you'll find many more.

Some good books are Since We're Friends and The Autism Acceptance Book if it isn't over their heads.

What's more important than awareness is acceptance. If kids learn that autism is a series of "can'ts" (can't speak, can't make friends easily, can't understand sarcasm or jokes, etc), they'll come away with the impression that it's bad. The message that needs to be taught is that autistics are "different not less." I've read about a lesson being done with slightly older children where they name things that are different about themselves or that they struggle with ("I'm the only one here with red hair," "most of my letters come out backwards," "I moved here from Canada," etc) - then the conversation shifts to a discussion of how just because everyone is different and has different issues doesn't mean they can't still be friends or that some people are better than others. Autism isn't something to be feared. Make sure the other kids know that.

A lot of people will suggest The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time, which is a fine book, but the author didn't do enough research and was just writing a novel.

I'd recommend John Elder Robison's books. He has wrote multiple memoirs and lives a very vivid life; he, his son, and possibly (don't remember if she was diagnosed) his son's mother are all autistic. I loved the books, and I've never seen myself or connected with a book like I did with his. His books aren't hard to read and I believe there are four in total.

The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time:
https://www.amazon.com/Curious-Incident-Dog-Night-Time/dp/1400032717

Look Me in the Eye:
https://www.amazon.com/Look-Me-Eye-Life-Aspergers/dp/0307396185

It's a good question, and I can see how some people wouldn't want the diagnosis to "define" their child or for the child to use it as a crutch. I can understand that line of thinking. It's not the same as having a child that lacks the comprehension skills to ever understand their diagnosis. A child that can understand might struggle with their identity, or might blame their misfortunes completely on the diagnosis.

But with my older child I've told him (the younger one is way too small to get it right now, but I plan on telling him too). I think it's still better for them to grasp it early on rather than have it hit them in the face later when they happen to check their medical records. It's lying by omission, and I wouldn't want my sons to lose their trust in me for any reason.

Telling them early gives me the time I need to guide them through their differences, and help them develop ways to deal with their frustration. We have an open forum where my older son is safe to discuss his worries, and I can educate him about how much his diagnosis should impact on his life, if at all. I'm removing the stigma as much as I can.

I don't consider myself above any parent that isn't the same, because all parents are different. Some parents take a very long time to accept a diagnosis themselves, and they might feel like it would hurt the family dynamic to reveal it, or they may have family and friends that won't understand. They might not even fully grasp what it means themselves. That's not their fault, because the stigma is there and it's going to take a lot of generations for it to be removed. I honestly think there should be a hell of a lot more support for parents to tell a child about a diagnosis because most of the time the parents are just left with the knowledge, and are frightened of taking the wrong action over it. And as I said before, they might be frightened of it having a negative impact on their child, that they might use it as a crutch or let the weight of it drag them down. The child would have to think about whether they want their friends to know, if they are in an environment where they pass as NT most of the time.

But this is why there should be better education on this, or at least some sort of emotional support, particularly for NT parents who are probably feeling bewildered (not exclusively, some autistic parents can feel the same). We have to work to remove the stigma, so that we don't feel afraid to be upfront and honest with our children, and so we can give them the right tools to come to terms with their difference and even embrace it, whilst congratulating themselves for the successes they have.

Books like this are a good starting point, if a little bit outdated now.

If you're looking for a book to read, I would suggest this. I'm not sure whether or not it goes into the baby/toddler stages, but it's a really good wealth of information, and some of it may help you even if she's not diagnosed with Autism.

Honestly, the regression, and the inability to focus on sounds like Autism. For some of us, making eye contact is extremely overwhelming. Also, there can be a 2-3 second gap between when we hear something and when we "understand" or "translate" it (this is hard to describe, think of it like the message getting delayed between the ears/eyes/whatever to the brain because it has to be translated to what we can understand) which makes focusing when lots of people are talking difficult, which is why she might not be following. Regression is also a coping tactic that some people have, I myself included.

How does she react to sound? I don't mean a single loud sound, but like a constant, large amount of sound, like a crowd in a supermarket? It's quite easy to focus on the television, even for a toddler, but Autism makes it hard to block out things we don't want to hear which may result in meltdowns and shutdowns.

Meltdowns appear like temper tantrums, or covering the ears, crying, ect. while Shutdowns are when the person in question does unresponsive and non-verbal.

Another thing for you to look at would be her response to foods that have certain different type of textures. For me, having something slimy like sushi in my mouth makes me want to spit it out immediately.

Long post. ಠ_ರೃ I got too into it, sorry.

What country are you in? I'm guessing the states, so I'm not of too much use sorry.

If you've got a strong constitution, doing it yourself can be amazing.

This book is rather helpful, but having a professional at hand can make everything much much easier.

Early intervention can be very powerful.

There's a book written by a married man with Aspergers, about the challenges he's faced and the ways he's dealt with them, called [The Journal of Best Practices] (http://www.amazon.com/The-Journal-Best-Practices-Marriage/dp/1439189749/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=undefined&sr=8-2&keywords=best+practices). It sounds like it has a lot of good, practical advice. Good luck!

You have a wonderful attitude toward your daughter's diagnosis. I think you are thinking about the rights kinds of issues - especially with autistic girls, who tend to mask their autism - it's so important to be aware of keeping their self esteem intact through the school years. /r/aspergirls is a great resource.

Here is what my developmental ped told me about ABA when my daughter was diagnosed:

https://old.reddit.com/r/autism/comments/9tfdrl/my_3_year_old_was_diagnosed_today_and_the/

Here is a thread I recently posted about how you may encounter speech therapists or occupational therapists who use ABA techniques and how to avoid:

https://old.reddit.com/r/aspergers/comments/bhothm/to_all_parents_avoiding_aba_your_speech_therapist/

And the two books my developmental pediatrician recommended which might be up your alley:

The Spark: A Mother's Story of Nurturing, Genius, and Autism

https://www.amazon.com/Spark-Mothers-Nurturing-Genius-Autism/dp/0812983564

Uniquely Human: A Different Way of Seeing Autism

https://www.amazon.com/Uniquely-Human-Different-Seeing-Autism/dp/1476776237/ref=sr_1_2?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIpandstmE4gIVi-NkCh0yagCbEAAYAiAAEgLY4PD_BwE&hvadid=253907963486&hvdev=c&hvlocphy=9030102&hvnetw=g&hvpos=1t2&hvqmt=e&hvrand=1434658516908047116&hvtargid=kwd-422459949508&hydadcr=22538_9636739&keywords=book+uniquely+human&qid=1557069906&s=gateway&sr=8-2

It's the same principal as any weighted pad/blanket. Pressure all around and down, like being held in a hug kinda.


My daughter loves a weighted blanket to sleep, and when she's in a meltdown, but didn't like a weighted vest. They're expensive, so if you have the option of trying one out (we borrowed one from the school for a weekend) before investing, do so.


My kiddo has headphones in every color as well as some we've personalized with jewels/fake fur. She sees them as an accessory like any other she'd wear (she's 12).

She also has lots of bite necklaces in fun shapes/colors.

Thanks for the link, but it seems to be announcing the results of the study, rather than the study itself. It also does not say how small the sample size is. I consider treats a more immediate and understandable reward than money. Agreed that not all autistics are techy geeks, but would you say the odds are higher? The link is reproduced in this book where the author proposes some theoretical bases for why some of these treatments might help. I do not propose that Sally's supervisor forbid her from casein. I merely propose that if he provides free treats, bagels with cream cheese might be a riskier choice.

First of all, understand that autism is complex. Everyone is different and everyone is going to have unique ways in which their autistic traits are expressed, as well as unique ways that they cope with them and pass.

I [M31] would say that I'm at the "mild" end of the spectrum, though that glosses over a whole of of nuance and complexity to how it effects me and my life. If you want to know what that's like for me, here's a link to my blog where I've been documenting my diagnosis and evaluation process over the last several months.

If you're interested in other stories from people at the "mild" end of the spectrum, I'm personally fond of Musing of an Aspie.

So those are two personal perspectives, but neither is really comprehensive. If you want a higher level view of the subject, I would recommend The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome, by Tony Attwood. It's less personal, more clinical, and probably a bit harder of a read. But it's going to give you a very comprehensive view of the subject, and may cover traits that your boyfriend has but myself and others don't.

Some good ones for him and/or his class: Different Like Me, Can I Tell You About Asperger Syndrome, All Cats Have Asperger Syndrome, What it is to be me, The Autism Acceptance Book, The Juice Box Bully, Ethan's Story, The Bully Blockers.

Of Mice and Aliens and the other books by Kathy Hoopman are awesome. My son read them them all in a day.

Hanen has a fantastic book for parents that is easy to read and implement, More Than Words

It goes over the stages of communication and social interaction and teaches parents how to naturally create opportunities for social connection and communication.

The Reason I Jump is a pretty good light-reading primer on the how's and why's of a boy with autism. Plenty of eye-opening information, particularly about how he describes his behaviors and his cognitive process.

Ido in Autismland is another favorite of mine. More in-depth and slightly longer winded, it's a book rich in information, but definitely the one I'd read second.

The market is saturated with plenty of books on autism written by psycological or disabilities professionals, but if you really want to understand, I find there's no substitute for a book written by an autistic author.

I just finished Why I jump. The author is a non-verbal autistic boy and he does a good job explaining some of the behaviors associated with autism and what his inner state is like. It's also really short, only took me around two hours, and written in a very clear Q&A format.

Are you able to buy any online (or if you're a kid, get a parent to buy them for you)? A ton of autistic people I know, from my preschooler to some teens and adults in our community, all love these as an option for just literally canceling noise...they're not for listening to music, just blocking out noises. People who are "sensory avoiders" don't seem to have a problem with the feel of them, and they are apparently comfortable for lengthy use. Very reasonably priced, and as a bonus they come in a wide range of cool colors/patterns!

We are about to kick start ABA and I will provide feedback if and when we reach or not reach any milestones. Our son also apparently has HFA and is very smart when it comes to 'doing stuff' (helping us dress him, figuring out puzzles, stacking toys, navigating ipad, opening doors etc) but does not speak a single word other than "gooo" (we think he says this for 'good' as we keep telling him good boy a lot) and does not interact much with other kids.

There were two books that were recommended to us and I got them but scared to even touch them because they are like medical school textbooks:

http://www.amazon.com/Behavioral-Intervention-Young-Children-Autism/dp/0890796831/ref=la_B000APO1H8_1_1/190-0240050-6614975?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1450133376&sr=1-1

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0966526600?psc=1&redirect=true&ref_=oh_aui_detailpage_o02_s00

I just finished reading "Ido in Autismland," a book written by a non-verbal autistic teenager.

His insights into what it is like to be autistic and the way well meaning people treat autistic kids are invaluable and should be required reading for anyone working with autistic kids.

Get this book, please, it will be very helpful to understand them better.

Tony Attwood. The complete guide to Aspergers syndrome.

https://www.amazon.com/Complete-Guide-Aspergers-Syndrome/dp/1843106698

These earplugs are awesome! They block out a LOT of noise while still letting you hear people talk and even your TV. They were made for concerts and stuff. They may not block everything but they should help. HEAROS Ear Plugs

This book was helpful An Early Start for Your Child with Autism: Using Everyday Activities to Help Kids Connect, Communicate, and Learn https://www.amazon.ca/dp/160918470X/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_tNGUCb7QDSC09

Have you read All Cats Have Asperger Syndrome? We're pretty used to being compared to cats, and it's more or less true in some cases (not all cases of autism spectrum disorder are alike). It bugs me a little, but it's because I'm not enough of a cat person to like being called a cat-person.

This is a great book for introducing autism to kids - All Cats Have Asperger's Syndrome

If you're looking for non-clinical, there's a fictional book called the the Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time (http://www.amazon.com/dp/1400032717).

I would also recommend checking out some of the many wonderful blogs, by parents of autistic children but especially autistic adults themselves.

The Verbal Behavior Approach: How to Teach Children With Autism and Related Disorders
http://amzn.com/1843108526
This is a fantastic place to start. It will provide you with a new framework for understanding and addressing behavior.

If you are feeling ambitious:
Applied Behavior Analysis (2nd Edition)
http://amzn.com/0131421131

This is the "bible" for ABA. It can be a little technical, but not beyond the average adult's comprehension. At the very least it will give you a reference.

Read the book " The reason I Jump" and maybe look around at http://flappinessis.com/

Your husband needs to think differently. I say this with kindness.
Your child does this because he needs to, and because it makes him feel better. He needs it.

I'm afraid I don't have any specific advice for how to help your family. There's a book called Unstrange Minds which looks at how autism is perceived and understood in a number of different countries, including countries where having a disabled child is considered shameful for the family. The author writes about how, in both India and South Korea, there are parents who have sought acceptance and treatment for their child despite cultural forces. If you haven't read it, I wonder if it might give you ideas about how to move forward.

I highly recommend the book Uniquely Human.

Here is a book my therapist gave me to read after I was diagnosed. This might help you understand why you see that connection. https://www.amazon.com/All-Cats-Have-Asperger-Syndrome/dp/1843104814

The reason I asked about cats was I thought he might like this book

I feel like there are not a lot of good ones for just parents, or at least those who are not in some kind of guided intervention with a professional. I'd give this a go, though: http://www.amazon.com/Behavioral-Intervention-Young-Children-Autism/dp/0890796831/ref=cm_lmf_tit_7

Expensive

Cheaper

You can Google “decibel reducing ear plugs” and select clear ones. They might also sell them at your local drug store.

If anyone asks about them, you can say that you have tinnitus or you’re trying to prevent hearing loss.

We bought this book to explain it to our son, although he is not at the age yet where he would understand.

https://www.amazon.ca/Survival-Autism-Spectrum-Disorders-Parents/dp/1575423855/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1427989679&sr=1-1&keywords=%22The%20Survival%20Guide%20for%20Kids%20with%20Autism%20Spectrum%20Disorders%20(And%20Their%20Parents)%22&tag=vglnk-ca-c56-20

Look Me in The Eye

https://www.amazon.com/Comfortable-Protection-Professional-Cancelling-Motorcyclists/dp/B000V9PKZA

Sure! These are just a few that I've read...
They're not all completely geared toward adults with ASD and talk about kids too, but they do address adults at some point.


The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome https://www.amazon.com/dp/1843106698/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_qQ5IxbWGWAG3D


The Way I See It, Revised and Expanded 2nd Edition: A Personal Look at Autism and Asperger's https://www.amazon.com/dp/193527421X/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_yT5IxbVXQE7BR

Twirling Naked in the Streets and No One Noticed: Growing Up With Undiagnosed Autism https://www.amazon.com/dp/0615801439/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_4W5Ixb5QJMGZ7

Very Late Diagnosis of Asperger Syndrome (Autism Spectrum Disorder): How Seeking a Diagnosis in Adulthood Can Change Your Life https://www.amazon.com/dp/1849054339/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_TM5IxbSRTX1HR

Noise cancelling headphones. I nanny for a family with a 5 year old who has autism. They couldn’t take her to the amusement park because of the noise. They found some on amazon and they’ve been a game changer! She no longer has to miss out on loud activities!

here’s the ones she has